B!TC# IT OUT!

So these past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful between a new work schedule and basically being the one in charge of getting everything straightened away with the new house we'll be moving to in two weeks. My boyfriend got a week off starting last night as a sort of mid-winter vacation, so I was really hoping to have a nice day to relax with him for Valentine's.

Wellp. Nope.

We were supposed to go grocery shopping over four hours ago to pick up something for supper, and instead, he sat down on the couch, played with his 3DS for an hour, and then fell asleep. I keep trying to wake him up so we can go out and actually pick up some food, aaaannndddd that's not happening, he just keeps blowing me off and going back to sleep and ignoring me.

So instead I'm sitting here curled up in bed watching Bridezillas on Netflix because I've decided to punish myself with trashy "reality"-TV garbage and just considering going out to KFC and getting something there for supper, since I can't really afford to go get groceries by myself right now (I don't drive and only have, like, $20 since I just paid the damage deposit on the new place.)

What a romantic V-Day for me. Whoo.

I'm so sorry honey. We were supposed to go to lunch today, but just like you, are moving and don't have the money to currently, so he tried to make amends by fulfilling a promise he made a while back;
To ACTUALLY try to ride a horse so he could accompany me on rides.
He's ridden before.
He's very good just kinda chicken even though he shouldn't be.
So we get up there and I get my horse Stormy up, saddled, and ready to go. Stormy LOVES him, and behaves really well with him.
He complained the ENTIRE time we were up there! I told him he didn't have to do it, and if he did he could at least act like it.
No.
He still continued to say "I'll do it. I'll do it. I want to keep my word." But still continued to complain the entire time and snapped at me when I asked him to even hold something.

I got Stormy to the round pin, got on, and showed my bf that he has nothing to worry or complain about because Stormy was being really good.
I got off and asked him to get on.
He straight up yelled at me and said he didn't want to get on in the round pen.
I told him that if he's worried about safety, that the round pen would be the best place for him because Stormy didn't have enough room to go real fast.

He finally got on, rode around a little bit and I told him that I was going to go get another horse so we could ride around the pasture a little bit and he could actually ride like he promised.

That didn't happen. He said I'd walk beside him if I wanted him to fulfill the promise.
I. Was. Steaming.

I told him to go home and that I'd call when I was ready to be picked up.

He wasn't even out of the driveway of the barn, and I passed him full gallop, pissed as hell, rocks flinging, Stormy happy that someone who likes to run was riding, and essentially gave him the most subtle yet very obvious F#%& YOU.
I rode. Had a good time. Spent my Vday with a guy(Stormy) that would treat me fair, and when he came to pick me up, he immediately apologized.

The rest of the day went swimmingly.

well folks the competition for Miss Diving Specials ends today and I'm still 500 votes short of winning... its a shame because the girl who is in first doesnt really give a damn about this competition, she has made 6 posts about it the whole time and didnt even make them herself... she just shared other peoples posts to vote for her... also it would appear that a male, Omer Preter is the one who is pushing the competition and misrepresenting the competition as an international underwater photography contest where he and her are representing Israel ! ( there are at least 3 other Israeli girls competing ) And to top it all off they are nasty people ! Dissing other contestants on fb called people losers and taking the piss out of me for being a mermaid...They even tried to bring religion into it but I'm sure that how the got a lot of their votes, being part of a "zionistic movement" and suggesting some other competitors were being anti-Semitic, which they absolutely were NOT. I probably sound really bitter but I just feel like she really doesnt deserve to win this and I have worked to hard towards this and just didnt get the response I needed. Another thing that was bugging me was, I had asked for help from some people and they just entered themselves... I know theres nothing saying you can't i just wouldnt have done that myself so can't understand why others would but hey ho thats how it goes... I don't know if ill do another competition like this.... I made lots of new videos which got hundreds of views... but not everyone who watches is going to vote and now it seems like it was a whole load of work I gave myself and didnt achieve my goals. I got backing from Gary Stokes from Sea Shepherd, but it was too late, they said they wish they had known sooner so they could have geared it up more... I never gave up the past few days cuz a tiny part of me is still hoping for a miracle but it seems that 2 undeserving people are going to be enjoying the Maldives.... even the competition organisers don't want them to win ! They were concerned about the situation and asked me to try and get sponsors to help me out but after contacting multiple possible sponsors no one got back to me :( ahh just feeling down, i even gave up my valentines day to sit messaging people for more votes...

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Originally Posted by Little_Orca

I work in mental health in a unit that is sub-acute. We basically help persons who are in crisis, but are not usually a danger to others or who are a risk to themselves, ie recent suicide attempt with some ideation still, etc...

Tonight, I had to stay late to clean up the mess of a coworker.

I spent an hour with a person who was triggered by said coworker and became so fearful of them that they literally ran and hid in their bathroom when someone knocked on the door to their room. I was so sad for the person and so furious at the staff member (we'll call them E.)

E violated the patient's HIPPA (right to privacy) by videotaping them while they were in a video game dance competition with another staff member. When E was told they needed to delete the video, they did so but apparently made a stink about it and the language E used was, according to two people, very nonchalant. "I was caught up in the fun of the moment." ... Something you say to someone who has a traumatic past when they are feeling threatened. Perfect... :doh:

Eventually the triggered person calmed down with the promise I would be there the following day to 'protect' them from the other staff member. I was so mad, but I put that aside to help the person.

Later though as I processed this, I just kept getting more mad. E has had times where they do fantastic work and I am not going to put that down, but there are other times I am just not sure what to do. I have talked to my supervisor about situations where E was on the phone talking about renting a room when there were multiple people to help, referrals to take, and dinner to make, and I was doing it all on my own because they were too busy to be bothered. E also looks at nearly nude adults on their computer at work... Did I mention some of the people we see are victims of sexual assault and that could push them further into crisis? The people we work with can be very, very fragile.

About a week ago, E approached me in the kitchen and took a very domineering position. E said that we did not have to like each other but that we had to get along for the sake of work. I had never confronted them about what I saw them looking at online or that they did not help when I worked my ass off that day with the dinner and referrals (long paper documents we have to take down from hospitals to get new people into the facility, can take up to 40 minutes to complete just 1), and the only person I had told was my supervisor.

Now, I wonder if E is upset at something else or if my supervisor told E directly what I said. If that is the case, I cannot go to my supervisor should something else happen. I am not looking forward to working tomorrow because I have to see E and their best work friend (we'll call them F). The two of them together are hard to deal with at times. F on their own can be raunchy with humor, but in general is preferred over E. Together, it is a mess.

I am having severe anxiety (I have a disorder myself) about going in to work tomorrow. If the triggered person was not counting on me, I would call out for my own mental health day.

I talked with a trusted staff member about this all, and they feel the same way I do about E and are at a loss of what to do. All I can think of is to tell myself I only have to work there another year and a half and hopefully I get get into a graphic design career after I finish this bit of schooling. After that and I will be free of this. I really cannot take it anymore; E, the stress of the job, doing all the 'husbandry' work, trying to pretend everything is okay, letting people unload their trauma and issues onto me, ... I can't do it.

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E violated HIPPA and wasn't immediately fired? I'm shocked and appalled. Any violation of HIPPA should be grounds for immediate dismissal in a healthcare facility. Kudos to you, though, you're in one of the most stressful and psychologically demanding jobs I can think of and it sounds like you're one of the few sensible employees there. I do hope you're seeing a therapist regularly yourself, it's typically recommended if not required for mental health workers. If you aren't already, then I think it would help you a lot. Hang in there, you can do it!

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Originally Posted by Naufra

E violated HIPPA and wasn't immediately fired? I'm shocked and appalled. Any violation of HIPPA should be grounds for immediate dismissal in a healthcare facility. Kudos to you, though, you're in one of the most stressful and psychologically demanding jobs I can think of and it sounds like you're one of the few sensible employees there. I do hope you're seeing a therapist regularly yourself, it's typically recommended if not required for mental health workers. If you aren't already, then I think it would help you a lot. Hang in there, you can do it!

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There is going to be some action taken, but I am trying to stay out of it all. It's a bit hard since I was a witness to the event and all... E was asked not to work that following day, and F called in sick, so it was just me on the unit with the assistance of one supervisor and one nurse. Thankfully, all was quiet, but it was still stressful to cook dinner, perform fifteen minute checks on people by myself, clean up, manage the door and phones, help people get what they needed and so on. Phew.

I've tried going to counseling before surrounding work and to generally work on my anxiety and other issues. Sadly, the last person I saw slapped a 'magic' pill on it all and told me (and I quote because I do not think I will EVER forget this): "Come back and see me when you have this all figured out." Isn't that why I was there? To process and get another perspective? Yes, therapy work is mostly up to the individual, but therapists are there to assist and guide. I studied art therapy counseling and got my master's in that field, I know what a therapist should and should not do. And though I know there are always going to be people like that (specifically, he was retiring in a month and probably gave two shits about anything I said,) it has really turned me off from finding someone else to talk to.

So, I lose myself in other things: video games, art, writing, and mermaiding.

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Originally Posted by Little_Orca

There is going to be some action taken, but I am trying to stay out of it all. It's a bit hard since I was a witness to the event and all... E was asked not to work that following day, and F called in sick, so it was just me on the unit with the assistance of one supervisor and one nurse. Thankfully, all was quiet, but it was still stressful to cook dinner, perform fifteen minute checks on people by myself, clean up, manage the door and phones, help people get what they needed and so on. Phew.

I've tried going to counseling before surrounding work and to generally work on my anxiety and other issues. Sadly, the last person I saw slapped a 'magic' pill on it all and told me (and I quote because I do not think I will EVER forget this): "Come back and see me when you have this all figured out." Isn't that why I was there? To process and get another perspective? Yes, therapy work is mostly up to the individual, but therapists are there to assist and guide. I studied art therapy counseling and got my master's in that field, I know what a therapist should and should not do. And though I know there are always going to be people like that (specifically, he was retiring in a month and probably gave two shits about anything I said,) it has really turned me off from finding someone else to talk to.

So, I lose myself in other things: video games, art, writing, and mermaiding.

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Magic pill? It's no wonder you don't want to find a therapist after that! Were we in the same area, I could recommend someone I found helpful, but we're probably nowhere near each other. It's good that you've found other forms of therapy that help you, though.

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Originally Posted by Merman Chatfish

I finally tried on my monotail, the largest I could find, and its still not big enough for me feet :(

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Oh noes! maybe time to watch a couple of how to videos and make one

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Originally Posted by Merman Chatfish

I finally tried on my monotail, the largest I could find, and its still not big enough for me feet :(

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I am in agreement with PhaylennMurúch , or maybe you can find a tutorial on how to adjust them? Is it a foot pocket issue or is it in terms of heel straps?

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Originally Posted by Little_Orca

I am in agreement with PhaylennMurúch , or maybe you can find a tutorial on how to adjust them? Is it a foot pocket issue or is it in terms of heel straps?

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Sadly they are not adjustable. Its the foot pocket itself, I am almost always barefoot and when I do wear shoes its the Vibram 5 fingers, so my foot is wider than the average foot length ratio (113mm wide by 301 mm long)(hmm doing research apparently my foot is narrow compared to average). Maybe it is that its not long enough but when my feet are in them its like making a scoop with your hand.

Also in order to get my feet in I had to put soap inside the foot pockets. The rubber pulling on my foot hairs hurt. I wish I could just grow a real tail and be done with it.

yeah, might be time to make your own.

my husband has wide feet, like buy shoes at the special 'damn your feet are wide' stores. I have no doubt that if I ever convinced him to don a tail we'd have to find one with sock pockets like my finfun or make him a monofin

So... I'm homeless right now.

It's due to a combination of a couple things. My new roommates told me that they could move to Orlando as early as mid February, so I told my old roommates that I could move out mid February. I wanted to get out of that mess ASAP.
The old roommates found people to move in by February 14th, so they made me promise to be out by then. They asked my new roommates if I had a contingency plan, and they told them that I did, I didn't.
I spent weeks getting on my new roommates arses trying to get them to decide on a new place to live so that we could pay for it and move in on time, but they didn't make their decision until the week of my moving date. To make matters worse, none of them had the money to move at that point, because suddenly they decided they wanted to move at the beginning of March. So I paid the entirety of the application fees, security deposit, administration fees, and other misc fees by myself, coming to around 510 dollars- right out of my tail fund.
Despite me depositing my application and money in time, they didn't submit their applications until the day before my moving day. Processing takes a few days, so I get to live out of my car until then.


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Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL

So... I'm homeless right now.

It's due to a combination of a couple things. My new roommates told me that they could move to Orlando as early as mid February, so I told my old roommates that I could move out mid February. I wanted to get out of that mess ASAP.
The old roommates found people to move in by February 14th, so they made me promise to be out by then. They asked my new roommates if I had a contingency plan, and they told them that I did, I didn't.
I spent weeks getting on my new roommates arses trying to get them to decide on a new place to live so that we could pay for it and move in on time, but they didn't make their decision until the week of my moving date. To make matters worse, none of them had the money to move at that point, because suddenly they decided they wanted to move at the beginning of March. So I paid the entirety of the application fees, security deposit, administration fees, and other misc fees by myself, coming to around 510 dollars- right out of my tail fund.
Despite me depositing my application and money in time, they didn't submit their applications until the day before my moving day. Processing takes a few days, so I get to live out of my car until then.


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:( Im sorry Celeste. At least its fairly warm so you won't freeze.

Damn, that sucks. I hope they will have it sorted out soon so that you can move into your new house

You know what? Fine. I give. Whatever. I'm not a pro. Heaven forbid you take my advice at all.

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Originally Posted by Sherielle

You know what? Fine. I give. Whatever. I'm not a pro. Heaven forbid you take my advice at all.

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I know that sound. Whenever I hear it, I remember the adage "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."

:mermaid kiss:

So apparently I'm getting nothing back for my tax return because my work doesn't take out state taxes and my parents use me as a dependent and take my university tax credits for themselves.

I know this is minor compared to some of the above drama, but I'm still pretty disappointed. :(


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And now for some more infuriating news... our applications to the apartment complex were denied because one of my new roommates has a hold on his credit due to a huge problem with the current place he's living in. He never told us about it.
None of my roommates told me we got denied, and they have known since yesterday.

Looks like I'm not only out 510 dollars, but I'm going to be living in my car for a lot longer than I would have liked. This is what happens when I trust people. :(

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Originally Posted by MermaidCelesteFL

And now for some more infuriating news... our applications to the apartment complex were denied because one of my new roommates has a hold on his credit due to a huge problem with the current place he's living in. He never told us about it.
None of my roommates told me we got denied, and they have known since yesterday.

Looks like I'm not only out 510 dollars, but I'm going to be living in my car for a lot longer than I would have liked. This is what happens when I trust people. :(

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I dunno. To me, it sounds like they are taking advantage of you. They didn't tell you anything until the very last minute, most likely because they had no other choice and couldn't hide it any longer.

I try my hardest to just get over things like this and move on, but I need to vent about this one. I offered to make my friend a tail, it would be my first attempt, free of charge. I would be making it to her specifications and she could keep it forever - no strings attached. It would have been her first tail since she doesn't seem to be in a position to save up for one and I felt bad that our mutual friend and I were making payments on ours.

She had disappointed me before when I made her her first shell bra. Not one "Thank you." So I decided that if she responded similarly, I would choose someone else to make it for. But I held out hope.

We got to Nagoya the night I was going to tell her, and she arranged our seating so I was on one side of her and this online friend she just met in person sat on her other side. Her fiance sat next to me, and my husband next to him. She then proceeded to talk to her online friend for the entire night, only glancing over occasionally. I of course just talked videogames with her fiance and my husband, making the best of it. I decided I would still give her the benefit of the doubt and I told her, "So, I've decided to make you a silicone tail!" To which she responded, almost horrified, "Oh!" And then went back to talking to that guy. She followed him to his car while the rest of us (her fiance included) waited about fifty feet away. I hate to say it, but I'm 99% sure she flirted with him the whole night.

I've known her fiance longer than I've known her so that was also a real blow for me to watch. Needless to say, I don't consider her a friend anymore. I just have to hang out with her because her fiance is lifelong best friends with my husband. :(

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. I have had the same thing happen to me. Free HUGE photoshoot, special, and she took the photos and said someone else took them and cropped out my WM.

If you need someone to talk to, or talk video games with, or heck, just to be there, feel free to message me. :) I'm here.

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Originally Posted by Mermaid Nessie

I also got this message:

"1.) It's a Newfoundland thing, go back to your own fucking province if you don't like our customs. 2.) We are friends. 3.) You are very uptight, others have told me that before I met you. 4.) If you're gunna get on with petty bullshit, and be a little shit head, Don't look at me, don't talk to me, and don't text me anymore. Have a nice life"

..................... I'm currently speechless right now

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This guy is insane and you definitely need to report any past activities to have an official record of some kind. Even if you just talk to your RA (though given his response I strongly suggest you talk to campus police about all of this. Even if they won't take a report they will be aware). I dealt with a similar situation in college and the man in question got very vengeful after I set boundaries and him responding eerily similarly to this guy you're dealing with. I also didn't want to get to the point of reporting him but I finally had to because he became violent and did things like slash my tires and leave anonymous VERY threatening notes on my room door.
Please bring it to someone's attention just in case he's crazier than you think. You have to think of your safety #1, politeness be damned!

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Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. I have had the same thing happen to me. Free HUGE photoshoot, special, and she took the photos and said someone else took them and cropped out my WM.

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That's horrible! I seriously don't understand some people. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :<

Thank you so much for your offer to talk! You're awesome. You'll definitely be getting a friend request from me! :)

Sorry to hear what happened lotus Blooming I would offer to help you out but with my ankle I really don't know that its possible :) But I am here if you ever need to talk etc! So sorry this happened to you! I could never do that to my friends! Hope you can find someone else to make the tail for! Best wishes!

I'm home all of the time, I game, plus I'm a mermaid, lol so we should have plenty to talk about! :) looking forward to it.

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Originally Posted by Shimmer Mermaid

I'm home all of the time, I game, plus I'm a mermaid, lol so we should have plenty to talk about! :) looking forward to it.

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Definitely!! Me, too!! Thanks so much! <3

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Originally Posted by Lotus_Blooming

I try my hardest to just get over things like this and move on, but I need to vent about this one. I offered to make my friend a tail, it would be my first attempt, free of charge. I would be making it to her specifications and she could keep it forever - no strings attached. It would have been her first tail since she doesn't seem to be in a position to save up for one and I felt bad that our mutual friend and I were making payments on ours.

She had disappointed me before when I made her her first shell bra. Not one "Thank you." So I decided that if she responded similarly, I would choose someone else to make it for. But I held out hope.

We got to Nagoya the night I was going to tell her, and she arranged our seating so I was on one side of her and this online friend she just met in person sat on her other side. Her fiance sat next to me, and my husband next to him. She then proceeded to talk to her online friend for the entire night, only glancing over occasionally. I of course just talked videogames with her fiance and my husband, making the best of it. I decided I would still give her the benefit of the doubt and I told her, "So, I've decided to make you a silicone tail!" To which she responded, almost horrified, "Oh!" And then went back to talking to that guy. She followed him to his car while the rest of us (her fiance included) waited about fifty feet away. I hate to say it, but I'm 99% sure she flirted with him the whole night.

I've known her fiance longer than I've known her so that was also a real blow for me to watch. Needless to say, I don't consider her a friend anymore. I just have to hang out with her because her fiance is lifelong best friends with my husband. :(

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Your 'friend' sounds like an inconsiderate jerk. Maybe they'll break up and she'll leave.

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Originally Posted by PearlieMae

Your 'friend' sounds like an inconsiderate jerk. Maybe they'll break up and she'll leave.

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I hope so. To be honest, I pray for that sometimes.

*Vent needed, apologies in advance for what I may say as I'm just gunna get everything out of my system, I hold no responsibility if I say something offensive as I've been drinking a little and I'm pissed (as in angry not drunk) to the max, so please understand it's the anger and frustration talking not my actual opinions"

So I've auditioned for three dance schools now...as I'm reaching the end of my foundation training and moving on to finish my training in a place of higher education. I didn't get into my top school in London, but I did get into the two others...I had no idea which to choose, but then a sign came and I received a letter saying they had re-evaluated my application and audition and come to the conclusion I was an 'exceptional case' and worthy of an unconditional offer (this means I am eligible of joining the school regardless of the grades I receive in my current college, even if I fail they still want me) Now of course I'm over the moon about this at first and I accepted the offer almost immediately.

The only thing is, is that my dream was to go to London, but I somehow managed to let it go and know I can move to London after my training is done and that this school is where I need to be for the next three years. But now, a few of my friends are getting their acceptance letters from schools...and about three of them are in London and tonight I was having just a bit of self pity, which I almost never do! I got jealous and upset and I was in a proper funk. This was apparent to my "closest" friends in college...but their reaction? No support, no cheering me up, not even a slap and someone telling me to stop being pathetic and petty and to just move on and be happy with what I have...they literally just ignored me and pushed me aside to talk about something else.

Now this was the final straw for me because I've been feeling as if no one really cares in my friend circle about my actual feelings or about who I am, and tonight they pissed me off so bad that all these feelings just flooded.

I'm the only boy in the group. And, in a group of about eight of us, that can be hard.

I'm not girl enough to be accepted as a 'true' friend, because I can't 'understand' periods, or know what it's like to really be a girl.
I'm not boy enough for the guys at college to see me as a 'boy', they literally see me as the pathetic little gay kid who hangs out with the girls and can on occasion be a bit of comic relief to a situation.
My relationships and boy troubles aren't seen as 'real' so it's fine for my best friend to go off with the guy I had major feelings for during the last party even though she doesn't like him. And it's okay for me to have to listen to her ramble on about how annoyed she is at herself for doing it...I'm sorry, but bitch, I don't even stand a chance with 98% of all the guys I've ever liked, at least you have a chance with him, and he likes you...he wouldn't even see me as a contender. But no, snog his face off in front of me even though you AND him clearly know how I feel about him...though apparently you don't and my feelings are just made up and not important because he's straight and I'm clearly not a girl.

Basically, I'm not good enough to have true friends because I'm on some weird cusp where I'm not considered boy, or girl enough. And gay friends? Or friends in a similar situation? Basically non existent even in a dance/performing arts college...as I live in the middle of nowhere, where the only gay guys are either deep in the closet, or raging queens that only want to know me for one thing only, or that I'm not 'good enough' for even that reason.

I just wanna leave, and go live somewhere far away, start over, make new friends...ones that actually give a shit about me. But no, I'll have to wait and go to my second choice school. Ugh.

I just want a real friend, I have online friends...but it's not the same.

And now on Monday when I get back to college I'll have to either decide to be alone or hang in the background with these false friends just to have some company.

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Originally Posted by Merman Vaughan

*Vent needed, apologies in advance for what I may say as I'm just gunna get everything out of my system, I hold no responsibility if I say something offensive as I've been drinking a little and I'm pissed (as in angry not drunk) to the max, so please understand it's the anger and frustration talking not my actual opinions"

So I've auditioned for three dance schools now...as I'm reaching the end of my foundation training and moving on to finish my training in a place of higher education. I didn't get into my top school in London, but I did get into the two others...I had no idea which to choose, but then a sign came and I received a letter saying they had re-evaluated my application and audition and come to the conclusion I was an 'exceptional case' and worthy of an unconditional offer (this means I am eligible of joining the school regardless of the grades I receive in my current college, even if I fail they still want me) Now of course I'm over the moon about this at first I accepted the offer almost immediately.

The only thing is, is that my dream was to go to London, but I somehow managed to let it go and know I can move to London after my training is done and that this school is where I need to be for the next three years. But now, a few of my friends are getting their acceptance letters from schools...and about three of them are in London and tonight I was having just a bit of self pity, which I almost never do! I got jealous and upset and I was in a proper funk. This was apparent to my "closest" friends in college...but their reaction? No support, no cheering me up, not even a slap and someone telling me to stop being pathetic and petty and to just move on and be happy with what I have...they literally just ignored me and pushed me aside to talk about something else.

Now this was the final straw for me because I've been feeling as if no one really cares in my friend circle about my actual feelings or about who I am, and tonight they pissed me off so bad that all these feelings just flooded.

I'm the only boy in the group. And, in a group of about eight of us, that can be hard.

I'm not girl enough to be accepted as a 'true' friend, because I can't 'understand' periods, or know what it's like to really be a girl.
I'm not boy enough for the guys at college to see me as a 'boy', they literally see me as the pathetic little gay kid who hangs out with the girls and can on occasion be a bit of comic relief to a situation.
My relationships and boy troubles aren't seen as 'real' so it's fine for my best friend to go off with the guy I had major feelings for during the last party even though she doesn't like him. And it's okay for me to have to listen to her ramble on about how annoyed she is at herself for doing it...I'm sorry, but bitch, I don't even stand a chance with 98% of all the guys I've ever liked, at least you have a chance with him, and he likes you...he wouldn't even see me as a contender. But no, snog his face off in front of me even though you AND him clearly know how I feel about him...though apparently you don't and my feelings are just made up and not important because he's straight and I'm clearly not a girl.

Basically, I'm not good enough to have true friends because I'm on some weird cusp where I'm not considered boy, or girl enough. And gay friends? Or friends in a similar situation? Basically non existent even in a dance/performing arts college...as I live in the middle of nowhere, where the only gay guys are either deep in the closet, or raging queens that only want to know me for one thing only, or that I'm not 'good enough' for even that reason.

I just wanna leave, and go live somewhere far away, start over, make new friends...ones that actually give a shit about me. But no, I'll have to wait and go to my second choice school. Ugh.

I just want a real friend, I have online friends...but it's not the same.

And now on Monday when I get back to college I'll have to either decide to be alone or hang in the background with these false friends just to have some company.

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I am so sorry you had to go through that, hon. The thing is, you call them your friends, but what you're describing sound like enemies. They may act like they'll be there for you, but if they don't follow through and do things to hurt you, they're no friends of yours. I promise you that not all women are like that. If you ever need to talk, let me know.

Reminds me of this Bible verse:
"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from an enemy." - Proverbs 27:6

I've found that's so true. If a real friend hurts you, they're genuinely sorry and they probably had YOUR best interests in mind to begin with! I will be praying you find friends who truly understand and care for you. I know it would be another online friend, but I'm totally up for being one of those! :)

Love, your mersister,
Lotus <3

Ok normally I'm a little more professional than this but HOLY CARP when will it end!!!!??? I am a team leader (basically an under thumb manager) at my job and recently had a team member that walked out and quit on us. When she worked with me there was no hostility, no smart ass comment, and honestly she acted like we were best friends. Even hung out outside of work and had fun. But soon before she quit my GM came to me saying I need to "manage me team better" and proceeded to tell me that my entire team thought I was lazy and good for nothing based upon the words of this one person.

Now me being me I approached each of then and inquired if they had any complaints or greivences (sp) with anyone at work or anything I've done because I want to "make this team run smoothly so we're all on the same page." I received a few mild complaints about other team members and one or two on how I run the store. But nothing on the scale that I was told. So I finally approached said team mate and clearly asked about what she'd told my GM. She just laughed and shrugged it off saying "I just told her what I heard."

Ok it's been about 2 weeks since she out right walked out and quit making me pick up all her shifts (as not to stretch my team thin) sometimes even working doubles. I find she not only went to my GM she said the same thing about me to the repair tech that works on our machines at work. Honestly! If you have that much of a problem with me please be adult enough to say so!

No she has bad mouthed and trash talked ABOUT me to everyone! People who don't even know me give me odd looks mentioning if I'd heard about the "lazy ass" in the store that they'd heard about form someone who was "fired because she spoke out against that worthless worker".

She hasn't contacted me since leaving explaining anything, but she constantly complains that I haven't contacted her to inquire as to what 'forced' her to quit. I can't seem to go a single day at work without SOMEONE bringing up how she'd spoken about me.

I very much dislike double scale people and even more so if they're a gossiping gabby and trying to ruin my reputation. I've worked for 8 year at this company to be where I am and I'm trying to get Manager in my section of the store, but if these rumors and stories keep going I'm afraid my chances may drop drastically.


Whew sorry guys and gals but I really needed to get that out.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lotus_Blooming

I am so sorry you had to go through that, hon. The thing is, you call them your friends, but what you're describing sound like enemies. They may act like they'll be there for you, but if they don't follow through and do things to hurt you, they're no friends of yours. I promise you that not all women are like that. If you ever need to talk, let me know.

Reminds me of this Bible verse:
"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from an enemy." - Proverbs 27:6

I've found that's so true. If a real friend hurts you, they're genuinely sorry and they probably had YOUR best interests in mind to begin with! I will be praying you find friends who truly understand and care for you. I know it would be another online friend, but I'm totally up for being one of those! :)

Love, your mersister,
Lotus <3

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Aw thanks Lotus :) I'm just overly frustrated but I'm glad to hear kind words trying to cheer me up! I'm in a much better mood now, thankfully haha, but your post really made me smile and be thankful that a place like this even exists to restore my faith in humanity and let me know that even if I can't find the people I need right now I will eventually. I think I honor my mer-family and friends a lot more than most of my real life friends haha. Wonder how sad that makes me sound ;) lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Merman Vaughan

Aw thanks Lotus :) I'm just overly frustrated but I'm glad to hear kind words trying to cheer me up! I'm in a much better mood now, thankfully haha, but your post really made me smile and be thankful that a place like this even exists to restore my faith in humanity and let me know that even if I can't find the people I need right now I will eventually. I think I honor my mer-family and friends a lot more than most of my real life friends haha. Wonder how sad that makes me sound ;) lol

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Not sad at all!!! I'm so glad to have been able to help cheer you up!! You deserve it!! :)

Thank god for this place or I dont know what id do right now. Sorry for the bad spelling and wall of text. Its hard to see the screen when youre crying.

Im having the equvalent of a marrage ending fight wth my husband over his mom and her disrespect towards my parenting.

Long story short my daughters bio sperm donor is a crazy abusive control freak who used to beat me pretty badly. I left with our daughter thank god and have been fighting to keep him away ever since. I even got a court order of no contact. Because of this issue I dont post photos of my daughter online. He stalks me and my friends. He tried going for custody so he could get to me. He found my mother in laws facebook page where she had put a bunch of photos of my kid. She had asked me about posting and I said no. She went behind my back and did it anyways and blocked me so I couldnt see them. My ex did tho and he emailed them to me. He drives around my house on a regular basis and when he sees us in public he follows us. He now knows what they look like, where they live and the places they take her. Three years ago this started. She was asked to take them down and didnt. Even her daughter (my husbands sister) posted some and I lost in on both of them. O tried to forgive her after she said she removed them and I discovered last week she never did. She still hasnt after a week of asking and telling her.

She told me im making it up about my ex and its not that bad and what she did isnt a big deal. It doesnt matter that when he tried to physically take my daughter out of my arms and kicked me in the stomach to do so, or that the last fight he hospitalized me and I was literally black and blue because he repeatedly picked me up and threw me into walls and down stairs made of concrete. I have permanent shoulder damage and a permanently detached rib.

Im trying to protect my daughter from that abuse and she plasters her all over the internet so he can find her. Facebook wont force removal of the photos even tho its illegal to use photos of minors without parental consent. Im now out of iptions and my husband isnt helping. He just sits on his ass and doesnt say a damn word while his mother degrades me and calls me a bad and neglectful mom. Its everything I can do not to smother him with a pillow im so angry with him. He doesnt care and wont stand up for her and the worst part is he read the nasty stuff she said and then gave her my cell number so she could send it to me.

Im about to have my entire life turned around I dont know what to do. I just want whats best for my little girl. How is that so wrong, someone ease twll me because I dont see it. Artrgggggvg xbdjdjdnxjdifjxnssksdbcj

I'm sorry you are going through that hun. :( I have no words of wisdom, but know that your fight will not be in vain. My mother went through something similar to protect my sister and I; we were even court ordered to leave the state we lived in for our protection. We were fortunate, though, that after a while, my biological father didn't give two shits about us anymore so we don't have to look over our shoulders anymore.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Prairie Mermaid Jamie

Thank god for this place or I dont know what id do right now. Sorry for the bad spelling and wall of text. Its hard to see the screen when youre crying.

Im having the equvalent of a marrage ending fight wth my husband over his mom and her disrespect towards my parenting.

Long story short my daughters bio sperm donor is a crazy abusive control freak who used to beat me pretty badly. I left with our daughter thank god and have been fighting to keep him away ever since. I even got a court order of no contact. Because of this issue I dont post photos of my daughter online. He stalks me and my friends. He tried going for custody so he could get to me. He found my mother in laws facebook page where she had put a bunch of photos of my kid. She had asked me about posting and I said no. She went behind my back and did it anyways and blocked me so I couldnt see them. My ex did tho and he emailed them to me. He drives around my house on a regular basis and when he sees us in public he follows us. He now knows what they look like, where they live and the places they take her. Three years ago this started. She was asked to take them down and didnt. Even her daughter (my husbands sister) posted some and I lost in on both of them. O tried to forgive her after she said she removed them and I discovered last week she never did. She still hasnt after a week of asking and telling her.

She told me im making it up about my ex and its not that bad and what she did isnt a big deal. It doesnt matter that when he tried to physically take my daughter out of my arms and kicked me in the stomach to do so, or that the last fight he hospitalized me and I was literally black and blue because he repeatedly picked me up and threw me into walls and down stairs made of concrete. I have permanent shoulder damage and a permanently detached rib.

Im trying to protect my daughter from that abuse and she plasters her all over the internet so he can find her. Facebook wont force removal of the photos even tho its illegal to use photos of minors without parental consent. Im now out of iptions and my husband isnt helping. He just sits on his ass and doesnt say a damn word while his mother degrades me and calls me a bad and neglectful mom. Its everything I can do not to smother him with a pillow im so angry with him. He doesnt care and wont stand up for her and the worst part is he read the nasty stuff she said and then gave her my cell number so she could send it to me.

Im about to have my entire life turned around I dont know what to do. I just want whats best for my little girl. How is that so wrong, someone ease twll me because I dont see it. Artrgggggvg xbdjdjdnxjdifjxnssksdbcj

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Wow. That is absolutely something NO ONE should have to deal with. I'll keep you and your daughter in my prayers. I'm so, so sorry you're having to deal with all of this, and without the support of your husband! You're really strong. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please feel free to message me. I've definitely never experienced a situation like that firsthand, but I'll help however I can.

Thank you both! It helps to not feel so alone. I cant sleep since I cant shut my brain off. But I have at least cried everything wet left in me. So maybe I can just get so exhausted ill pass out and pretend today didnt happen.


The worst part is my husband says he agrees with me and he said hes told him mom to stop with the pictures. Ive only ever had one major rule when it comes to my kid and that's no photos. I dont. A lot of people I know on my fb think my kid is a toddler because the only photos on there I have are when she was 2 and her bio thing had been on my fb so he already seen and had those ones. My family doesnt do it and if they did they know I would kick their ass and they would lose my kid in their life. Id love to share the pics of my kid swimming in monofins with everyone I know but its not safe. I dont want my marrage to end but I dont know if I can live everyday with him knowig how he dealt with this last situation. Apparently I need to find the photos the cops took for the police report and shove them in their face so she can see what hes capable of. My ex used to be really really mean to his nephew and was very emotionally abusive to him so he doesnt care if its an adult or a child.

My husband defended his mom saying that she would keep my kid safe. Shes over 400 pounds. Theres no way she could get to my kid on time to save her. If my ex showed up at their house, he would have no issue beating her and her husband and taking my kid. Hed probably kill their pets just to spite them for trying to stop him. Hes the poster child for sociopathy. And now that ive mentioned him in public hes gonna start emailig and driving around and telling me he misses me and still loves me and wants to be a family.

Im am so sorry Orca. I was so busy being upset I didnt say anything in response to you. Im usually not so selfish, I swear!
I think you can help. If any of this is to personal i understand. How was it for you growing up like that? How do you feel about him then and now?. If he had other kids now would you want to see them?
I honestly dont have any idea how that would be but it sounds a bit heavy for someone young to deal with. We moved alot when I was young so I know doing that just sucks.
:hug:

Oh Pealie that is just terrible. I can't even imagine the day to day struggle you must endure for your baby girl. Thoughts and prayers to you. I hope it all ends well

prairie I'm so sorry you're having to go through this =( it's hard enough dealing with abuse and then have people doubt you or play down the danger of the situation. I keep my address private everywhere, and keep my personal facebook entirely private to stop my dad from finding me, this is 13 years since we last saw him. For years we had to deal with my gran (his mum) whom he was astranged from, not understanding how bad he was, and would still say stuff like 'you got that from your dad' as if that was an actual compliment and she would regularly bring up stories about him not understanding that we didn't want to hear or think about him at all, or that it was traumatic for us to do so. Not quite the same situation as you but I do understand somewhat. All I can say is that your kid's safety comes first above all as you know, cause appeasing family members and not stepping on a few toes is no where near as important. If they can't understand they're putting you and your child in danger they don't deserve to be a part of your child's life and should be told as much. Tell them to take the photos down or they will be cut out from your child's life because they obviously can't be responsible adults.

Chatfish btw you should talk to special fins! - Marla (Weeki Wachee Marla) has long narrow feet and they did a custom foot pocket for her! Tried that fin on too at merfest and zomg they're freaking amazing, better than the competitior and less than half the price!

and Vaughan.... they aren't real friends. I might just bring my tail to wales and finslap them in the face. Hard.
And never fear you shall have your mer-family nearby soon <3