B!TC# IT OUT!

[Starfrit]

So these past couple of weeks have been pretty stressful between a new work schedule and basically being the one in charge of getting everything straightened away with the new house we'll be moving to in two weeks. My boyfriend got a week off starting last night as a sort of mid-winter vacation, so I was really hoping to have a nice day to relax with him for Valentine's.

Wellp. Nope.

We were supposed to go grocery shopping over four hours ago to pick up something for supper, and instead, he sat down on the couch, played with his 3DS for an hour, and then fell asleep. I keep trying to wake him up so we can go out and actually pick up some food, aaaannndddd that's not happening, he just keeps blowing me off and going back to sleep and ignoring me.

So instead I'm sitting here curled up in bed watching Bridezillas on Netflix because I've decided to punish myself with trashy "reality"-TV garbage and just considering going out to KFC and getting something there for supper, since I can't really afford to go get groceries by myself right now (I don't drive and only have, like, $20 since I just paid the damage deposit on the new place.)

What a romantic V-Day for me. Whoo.

[Shimmer Mermaid]

I'm so sorry honey. We were supposed to go to lunch today, but just like you, are moving and don't have the money to currently, so he tried to make amends by fulfilling a promise he made a while back;
To ACTUALLY try to ride a horse so he could accompany me on rides.
He's ridden before.
He's very good just kinda chicken even though he shouldn't be.
So we get up there and I get my horse Stormy up, saddled, and ready to go. Stormy LOVES him, and behaves really well with him.
He complained the ENTIRE time we were up there! I told him he didn't have to do it, and if he did he could at least act like it.
No.
He still continued to say "I'll do it. I'll do it. I want to keep my word." But still continued to complain the entire time and snapped at me when I asked him to even hold something.

I got Stormy to the round pin, got on, and showed my bf that he has nothing to worry or complain about because Stormy was being really good.
I got off and asked him to get on.
He straight up yelled at me and said he didn't want to get on in the round pen.
I told him that if he's worried about safety, that the round pen would be the best place for him because Stormy didn't have enough room to go real fast.

He finally got on, rode around a little bit and I told him that I was going to go get another horse so we could ride around the pasture a little bit and he could actually ride like he promised.

That didn't happen. He said I'd walk beside him if I wanted him to fulfill the promise.
I. Was. Steaming.

I told him to go home and that I'd call when I was ready to be picked up.

He wasn't even out of the driveway of the barn, and I passed him full gallop, pissed as hell, rocks flinging, Stormy happy that someone who likes to run was riding, and essentially gave him the most subtle yet very obvious F#%& YOU.
I rode. Had a good time. Spent my Vday with a guy(Stormy) that would treat me fair, and when he came to pick me up, he immediately apologized.

The rest of the day went swimmingly.

[Mermaid Melanie]

well folks the competition for Miss Diving Specials ends today and I'm still 500 votes short of winning... its a shame because the girl who is in first doesnt really give a damn about this competition, she has made 6 posts about it the whole time and didnt even make them herself... she just shared other peoples posts to vote for her... also it would appear that a male, Omer Preter is the one who is pushing the competition and misrepresenting the competition as an international underwater photography contest where he and her are representing Israel ! ( there are at least 3 other Israeli girls competing ) And to top it all off they are nasty people ! Dissing other contestants on fb called people losers and taking the piss out of me for being a mermaid...They even tried to bring religion into it but I'm sure that how the got a lot of their votes, being part of a "zionistic movement" and suggesting some other competitors were being anti-Semitic, which they absolutely were NOT. I probably sound really bitter but I just feel like she really doesnt deserve to win this and I have worked to hard towards this and just didnt get the response I needed. Another thing that was bugging me was, I had asked for help from some people and they just entered themselves... I know theres nothing saying you can't i just wouldnt have done that myself so can't understand why others would but hey ho thats how it goes... I don't know if ill do another competition like this.... I made lots of new videos which got hundreds of views... but not everyone who watches is going to vote and now it seems like it was a whole load of work I gave myself and didnt achieve my goals. I got backing from Gary Stokes from Sea Shepherd, but it was too late, they said they wish they had known sooner so they could have geared it up more... I never gave up the past few days cuz a tiny part of me is still hoping for a miracle but it seems that 2 undeserving people are going to be enjoying the Maldives.... even the competition organisers don't want them to win ! They were concerned about the situation and asked me to try and get sponsors to help me out but after contacting multiple possible sponsors no one got back to me ahh just feeling down, i even gave up my valentines day to sit messaging people for more votes...

[Naufra]

I work in mental health in a unit that is sub-acute. We basically help persons who are in crisis, but are not usually a danger to others or who are a risk to themselves, ie recent suicide attempt with some ideation still, etc...

Tonight, I had to stay late to clean up the mess of a coworker.

I spent an hour with a person who was triggered by said coworker and became so fearful of them that they literally ran and hid in their bathroom when someone knocked on the door to their room. I was so sad for the person and so furious at the staff member (we'll call them E.)

E violated the patient's HIPPA (right to privacy) by videotaping them while they were in a video game dance competition with another staff member. When E was told they needed to delete the video, they did so but apparently made a stink about it and the language E used was, according to two people, very nonchalant. "I was caught up in the fun of the moment." ... Something you say to someone who has a traumatic past when they are feeling threatened. Perfect...

Eventually the triggered person calmed down with the promise I would be there the following day to 'protect' them from the other staff member. I was so mad, but I put that aside to help the person.

Later though as I processed this, I just kept getting more mad. E has had times where they do fantastic work and I am not going to put that down, but there are other times I am just not sure what to do. I have talked to my supervisor about situations where E was on the phone talking about renting a room when there were multiple people to help, referrals to take, and dinner to make, and I was doing it all on my own because they were too busy to be bothered. E also looks at nearly nude adults on their computer at work... Did I mention some of the people we see are victims of sexual assault and that could push them further into crisis? The people we work with can be very, very fragile.

About a week ago, E approached me in the kitchen and took a very domineering position. E said that we did not have to like each other but that we had to get along for the sake of work. I had never confronted them about what I saw them looking at online or that they did not help when I worked my ass off that day with the dinner and referrals (long paper documents we have to take down from hospitals to get new people into the facility, can take up to 40 minutes to complete just 1), and the only person I had told was my supervisor.

Now, I wonder if E is upset at something else or if my supervisor told E directly what I said. If that is the case, I cannot go to my supervisor should something else happen. I am not looking forward to working tomorrow because I have to see E and their best work friend (we'll call them F). The two of them together are hard to deal with at times. F on their own can be raunchy with humor, but in general is preferred over E. Together, it is a mess.

I am having severe anxiety (I have a disorder myself) about going in to work tomorrow. If the triggered person was not counting on me, I would call out for my own mental health day.

I talked with a trusted staff member about this all, and they feel the same way I do about E and are at a loss of what to do. All I can think of is to tell myself I only have to work there another year and a half and hopefully I get get into a graphic design career after I finish this bit of schooling. After that and I will be free of this. I really cannot take it anymore; E, the stress of the job, doing all the 'husbandry' work, trying to pretend everything is okay, letting people unload their trauma and issues onto me, ... I can't do it.

E violated HIPPA and wasn't immediately fired? I'm shocked and appalled. Any violation of HIPPA should be grounds for immediate dismissal in a healthcare facility. Kudos to you, though, you're in one of the most stressful and psychologically demanding jobs I can think of and it sounds like you're one of the few sensible employees there. I do hope you're seeing a therapist regularly yourself, it's typically recommended if not required for mental health workers. If you aren't already, then I think it would help you a lot. Hang in there, you can do it!

[Little_Orca]

E violated HIPPA and wasn't immediately fired? I'm shocked and appalled. Any violation of HIPPA should be grounds for immediate dismissal in a healthcare facility. Kudos to you, though, you're in one of the most stressful and psychologically demanding jobs I can think of and it sounds like you're one of the few sensible employees there. I do hope you're seeing a therapist regularly yourself, it's typically recommended if not required for mental health workers. If you aren't already, then I think it would help you a lot. Hang in there, you can do it!

There is going to be some action taken, but I am trying to stay out of it all. It's a bit hard since I was a witness to the event and all... E was asked not to work that following day, and F called in sick, so it was just me on the unit with the assistance of one supervisor and one nurse. Thankfully, all was quiet, but it was still stressful to cook dinner, perform fifteen minute checks on people by myself, clean up, manage the door and phones, help people get what they needed and so on. Phew.

I've tried going to counseling before surrounding work and to generally work on my anxiety and other issues. Sadly, the last person I saw slapped a 'magic' pill on it all and told me (and I quote because I do not think I will EVER forget this): "Come back and see me when you have this all figured out." Isn't that why I was there? To process and get another perspective? Yes, therapy work is mostly up to the individual, but therapists are there to assist and guide. I studied art therapy counseling and got my master's in that field, I know what a therapist should and should not do. And though I know there are always going to be people like that (specifically, he was retiring in a month and probably gave two shits about anything I said,) it has really turned me off from finding someone else to talk to.

So, I lose myself in other things: video games, art, writing, and mermaiding.

[Naufra]

There is going to be some action taken, but I am trying to stay out of it all. It's a bit hard since I was a witness to the event and all... E was asked not to work that following day, and F called in sick, so it was just me on the unit with the assistance of one supervisor and one nurse. Thankfully, all was quiet, but it was still stressful to cook dinner, perform fifteen minute checks on people by myself, clean up, manage the door and phones, help people get what they needed and so on. Phew.

I've tried going to counseling before surrounding work and to generally work on my anxiety and other issues. Sadly, the last person I saw slapped a 'magic' pill on it all and told me (and I quote because I do not think I will EVER forget this): "Come back and see me when you have this all figured out." Isn't that why I was there? To process and get another perspective? Yes, therapy work is mostly up to the individual, but therapists are there to assist and guide. I studied art therapy counseling and got my master's in that field, I know what a therapist should and should not do. And though I know there are always going to be people like that (specifically, he was retiring in a month and probably gave two shits about anything I said,) it has really turned me off from finding someone else to talk to.

So, I lose myself in other things: video games, art, writing, and mermaiding.

Magic pill? It's no wonder you don't want to find a therapist after that! Were we in the same area, I could recommend someone I found helpful, but we're probably nowhere near each other. It's good that you've found other forms of therapy that help you, though.

[PhaylennMurúch]

I finally tried on my monotail, the largest I could find, and its still not big enough for me feet

Oh noes! maybe time to watch a couple of how to videos and make one

[Little_Orca]

I finally tried on my monotail, the largest I could find, and its still not big enough for me feet

I am in agreement with PhaylennMurúch , or maybe you can find a tutorial on how to adjust them? Is it a foot pocket issue or is it in terms of heel straps?

[Merman Chatfish]

I am in agreement with PhaylennMurúch , or maybe you can find a tutorial on how to adjust them? Is it a foot pocket issue or is it in terms of heel straps?

Sadly they are not adjustable. Its the foot pocket itself, I am almost always barefoot and when I do wear shoes its the Vibram 5 fingers, so my foot is wider than the average foot length ratio (113mm wide by 301 mm long)(hmm doing research apparently my foot is narrow compared to average). Maybe it is that its not long enough but when my feet are in them its like making a scoop with your hand.

Also in order to get my feet in I had to put soap inside the foot pockets. The rubber pulling on my foot hairs hurt. I wish I could just grow a real tail and be done with it.

[PhaylennMurúch]

yeah, might be time to make your own.

my husband has wide feet, like buy shoes at the special 'damn your feet are wide' stores. I have no doubt that if I ever convinced him to don a tail we'd have to find one with sock pockets like my finfun or make him a monofin

[MermaidCelesteFL]

So... I'm homeless right now.

It's due to a combination of a couple things. My new roommates told me that they could move to Orlando as early as mid February, so I told my old roommates that I could move out mid February. I wanted to get out of that mess ASAP.
The old roommates found people to move in by February 14th, so they made me promise to be out by then. They asked my new roommates if I had a contingency plan, and they told them that I did, I didn't.
I spent weeks getting on my new roommates arses trying to get them to decide on a new place to live so that we could pay for it and move in on time, but they didn't make their decision until the week of my moving date. To make matters worse, none of them had the money to move at that point, because suddenly they decided they wanted to move at the beginning of March. So I paid the entirety of the application fees, security deposit, administration fees, and other misc fees by myself, coming to around 510 dollars- right out of my tail fund.
Despite me depositing my application and money in time, they didn't submit their applications until the day before my moving day. Processing takes a few days, so I get to live out of my car until then.


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[Merman Chatfish]

So... I'm homeless right now.

It's due to a combination of a couple things. My new roommates told me that they could move to Orlando as early as mid February, so I told my old roommates that I could move out mid February. I wanted to get out of that mess ASAP.
The old roommates found people to move in by February 14th, so they made me promise to be out by then. They asked my new roommates if I had a contingency plan, and they told them that I did, I didn't.
I spent weeks getting on my new roommates arses trying to get them to decide on a new place to live so that we could pay for it and move in on time, but they didn't make their decision until the week of my moving date. To make matters worse, none of them had the money to move at that point, because suddenly they decided they wanted to move at the beginning of March. So I paid the entirety of the application fees, security deposit, administration fees, and other misc fees by myself, coming to around 510 dollars- right out of my tail fund.
Despite me depositing my application and money in time, they didn't submit their applications until the day before my moving day. Processing takes a few days, so I get to live out of my car until then.


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Im sorry Celeste. At least its fairly warm so you won't freeze.

[Azurin Luna]

Damn, that sucks. I hope they will have it sorted out soon so that you can move into your new house

[Sherielle]

You know what? Fine. I give. Whatever. I'm not a pro. Heaven forbid you take my advice at all.

[PearlieMae]

You know what? Fine. I give. Whatever. I'm not a pro. Heaven forbid you take my advice at all.

I know that sound. Whenever I hear it, I remember the adage "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig."

[Meronica]

So apparently I'm getting nothing back for my tax return because my work doesn't take out state taxes and my parents use me as a dependent and take my university tax credits for themselves.

I know this is minor compared to some of the above drama, but I'm still pretty disappointed.


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[MermaidCelesteFL]

And now for some more infuriating news... our applications to the apartment complex were denied because one of my new roommates has a hold on his credit due to a huge problem with the current place he's living in. He never told us about it.
None of my roommates told me we got denied, and they have known since yesterday.

Looks like I'm not only out 510 dollars, but I'm going to be living in my car for a lot longer than I would have liked. This is what happens when I trust people.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

And now for some more infuriating news... our applications to the apartment complex were denied because one of my new roommates has a hold on his credit due to a huge problem with the current place he's living in. He never told us about it.
None of my roommates told me we got denied, and they have known since yesterday.

Looks like I'm not only out 510 dollars, but I'm going to be living in my car for a lot longer than I would have liked. This is what happens when I trust people.

I dunno. To me, it sounds like they are taking advantage of you. They didn't tell you anything until the very last minute, most likely because they had no other choice and couldn't hide it any longer.

[Lotus the Mermaid]

I try my hardest to just get over things like this and move on, but I need to vent about this one. I offered to make my friend a tail, it would be my first attempt, free of charge. I would be making it to her specifications and she could keep it forever - no strings attached. It would have been her first tail since she doesn't seem to be in a position to save up for one and I felt bad that our mutual friend and I were making payments on ours.

She had disappointed me before when I made her her first shell bra. Not one "Thank you." So I decided that if she responded similarly, I would choose someone else to make it for. But I held out hope.

We got to Nagoya the night I was going to tell her, and she arranged our seating so I was on one side of her and this online friend she just met in person sat on her other side. Her fiance sat next to me, and my husband next to him. She then proceeded to talk to her online friend for the entire night, only glancing over occasionally. I of course just talked videogames with her fiance and my husband, making the best of it. I decided I would still give her the benefit of the doubt and I told her, "So, I've decided to make you a silicone tail!" To which she responded, almost horrified, "Oh!" And then went back to talking to that guy. She followed him to his car while the rest of us (her fiance included) waited about fifty feet away. I hate to say it, but I'm 99% sure she flirted with him the whole night.

I've known her fiance longer than I've known her so that was also a real blow for me to watch. Needless to say, I don't consider her a friend anymore. I just have to hang out with her because her fiance is lifelong best friends with my husband.

[Shimmer Mermaid]

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. I have had the same thing happen to me. Free HUGE photoshoot, special, and she took the photos and said someone else took them and cropped out my WM.