That Awkward Moment When: Mermaid Edtion!

[Raayvhen]

I think we need pictures. I promise brutal vulva honesty.

[PearlieMae]

Well the gif is from a Japanese anime of The Little Mermaid. There's a tentacle monster, talking cat, the whole nine yards.

What's weird about the fluke design is that I'm trying to base it on this wing tattoo I have. Now I'm worried that the tattoo it self is super yonic (looked it up, opposite of phallic) and I've just never noticed! Has there seriously been a vulva on my back for 10 years and no one's ever said anything???

Ah, I thought that was from the 1979 Japanese anime of The Little Mermaid. I haven't seen the whole thing, but I must admit that as anime goes it has more excuse than most to feature a tentacle monster...(You know, because stuff with tentacles generally is aquatic....)

Your vulva-wings take me back to art class at uni; the professors there would surely suggest that your subconscious association of the female genitalia with wings/flight/freedom is a powerful feminist statement!

Must....restrain...from...highly inappropriate comment...Must....restrain...from...highly inappropriate comment...Must....restrain...from...highly inappropriate comment...

I based my fluke on cicada wings and had the vulvar issue, too... I ended up making hearts over them!

(Edit to add: ...and it's a dot. Not a nipple. In one frame.)

[MermaidMichelle]

To think, the more radical feminists at times suggest that high-heels provide the representation of a second (and third, if one wears them on both feet) vagina!
Of course, that becomes rather ironic when one considers that they were originally intended to increase the stature of men....

Irregardless, all this talk of mermaid flukes being vulvae may not help our dearth of mermen any....

[PearlieMae]

omg...you just said irregardless. Please tell me you're being ironic.

[MermaidMichelle]

Yes, I've seen that episode of American Dad that takes down the word "irregardless"....Seth McFarlane really shouldn't have that much power....

I used the term here because "regardless" wouldn't have worked. Despite a desire to disregard my previous statement that is not possible; the very fact that high heels are so sexualized and associated with femaleness prevents them from being widely used by men, just as the mermaid fluke's increasing association with femaleness would discourage men from being mermen (unless they didn't mind such association with feminine roles)....

Edit: If it's a dot on that mermaid's breast, it's a very well-placed dot! *Ponders revealing that she has seen enough pre-Turn-of-the-Millennium anime to know that that certainly qualifies as a nipple by such standards, especially if it is normally covered by tactically-placed hair*

[Lily]

This photo is about 10 years old, taken just after I got the tattoo.

[MermaidMichelle]

First of all, Lily; you have a beautiful back! I've been told my skin is "alabaster"; yours reminds me of porcelain!

As for the wings, they are quite innocuous so long as they are apart. Only when placed together could they remind one of a vulva. You're a living work of (Post-Modern Feminist) art!

[Lily]

Aw, thank you! I'm never quite sure how to take compliments about my skin. Sometimes it's sweet, and reminds me of my grandmother, who had the same skin and was always telling me to be sure to take good care of it. And then sometimes it's creepy, like the guy in Silence of the Lambs, and I think maybe this person wants to wear my skin home like a Lily Suit.

(I'm taking yours in the vein of my grandmother, in case you were wondering.)

As for the tattoo... vulva-esque or not, I totally love it! I designed it 2 or 3 years before I was actually old enough to get it done, to make sure I'd like it, and even today it still makes me happy every time I see it. Totally worth the cost and the 2 1/2 hours of pain. Heck, it being vaguely yonic just makes it better, because damn straight I'm a feminist fairie mermaid

[PearlieMae]

"revealing that she has seen enough pre-Turn-of-the-Millennium anime"

The nerd is strong in this one...

American Dad? TV show, I take it?

[MermaidMichelle]

Aw, thank you! I'm never quite sure how to take compliments about my skin. Sometimes it's sweet, and reminds me of my grandmother, who had the same skin and was always telling me to be sure to take good care of it. And then sometimes it's creepy, like the guy in Silence of the Lambs, and I think maybe this person wants to wear my skin home like a Lily Suit.

(I'm taking yours in the vein of my grandmother, in case you were wondering.)

Are you sure? I'm a transsexual, which means that according to Silence of the Lambs I'm a horrible monster!

Of course, I'm also a Roman Catholic sister (in-training), which means that according to certain films such as the anti-Mother Teresa 'documentary' Hell's Angel I'm a horrible monster....

Well, that's just hate-fueled propaganda, so it's better to take it grandmother style! to you you feminist fairy!

[MermaidMichelle]

The nerd is strong in this one...

American Dad? TV show, I take it?

American Dad is an animated television show from the creator of Family Guy and in the same vein of humour. It's intent was to sardonically deride the wave of conservative American patriotism following 9/11 (at a safe distance of a few years later, of course).

[PearlieMae]

Ah! I remember it now.

[Mermaid Heather]

That awkward moment when you drive for several hours to go to your first ever mermaid meet-up, encounter a torrential downpour as you reach the spring's front gate, see on the sign that the spring is full to capacity, and then decide "oh well, I'm going to go shopping at thrift stores all the way home instead". You then see on Facebook that the mer-group is meeting at a parking lot 1 mile away to try to get special permission to enter the spring, so, full of enthusiasm, you turn around and approach the only vehicle in that lot. You then get it's occupants to roll down the window, and you ask with barely pent up excitement "are you a mermaid??" The reply from the heavily bearded, rather portly man inside was "do I look like a mermaid???"

[Mermaid Heather]

Even more awkward was the next vehicle I saw, the only one in the adjacent parking lot. I drove over to ask the same question, "are you a mermaid" and saw the window roll UP quickly, and a horrified young man turn away and look over his shoulder at me in terror through the window. Thinking, "WTF?" I then caught a whiff of their pot smoke in the breeze. Funny for me, awkward for them!

[MermaidMichelle]

I admire your persistence and enthusiasm!

[Mermaid Heather]

Haha, thanks! As it turns out we lost contact (storm interfered with my internet connection) with the rest of the mers and so my friend and I did A "mermaid stranded on little league bleachers" photo shoot instead! That new tail of mine still hasn't seen the water!

[MermaidMichelle]

I'm sorry that you weren't able to meet with the other mers, but I'm glad you made the best of it. I also find it amusing to imagine the events that would result in a mermaid being stranded on Little League bleachers!

[MermaidMichelle]

Oh, and double-post again to add something that just happened:

That awkward moment when you are performing a Google search for a memorial church and automatically start typing merm... instead! Mermaid appears to be the "m" word I use most often besides my own name!

[Mermaid Wesley]

That awkward moment when there isn't anything wrong with my resin and now I feel super awkward. I guess the oil in the monster clay is actually moisture enough to contaminate the resin. Smh.


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[Mermaid Sirenia]

That awkward moment when you're out in a restaurant with your friends talking about being a mermaid, and you hear all the people in the tables next to you go quiet


~Mermaid Sirenia~