A Guide to Unwanted Contact: Merverts, Trolls, Collectors, and more with list

[Echidna]

@BlueMermaid; thanks for pointing that out.

I normally won't block people unless they are repeatedly obscene (like the "lay on belly"-guy).
I also don't mind certain messages where people try to begin a chat, that can be awkward.

I can understand if someone is annoyed by constant spam like "are you married or still on the market??" though.
As if it would make a difference, are they going to board a plane and fly around the globe to date that mer who happens to not have a bf?
(And wonderful that not having a partner does imply for these guys one is looking for someone )

[Echidna]

Today, it took me an hour to go through new friend requests

I'm beginning to think it was a mistake to mention merthings on my "normal" account.

I denied following requests:
Paul Parr. He has pictures of women and mermaids all plastered over his site, including his "profile picture".
I also love it when there is no info whatsoever to show, just pics of other people

Björn Jansen. See above. He seems to pose as a photographer, but asks every minute if there are any "girls with underwater fetish?? Breathholding fetish??!"

Then there's this person where I cannot work out whether they are a guy or a girl, who also don't have any info about themselves, use pics of mermaids of all kinds as their "profile pictures", and claim they live on Mako.
Probably a kid, but hey.

If I didn't need a personal account to have my performer page, I'd probably close it.

[Seraphina Suds]

Has anyone gotten anything from this guy?



He posted this exact same thing on two different pictures and my page itself in the span of a few hours.

[Nashoba]

This is a great start, I have a feeling we maybe adding more people to this list!! There are 2 German men that have tried to contact me using FB and at first I was nice, but when things start getting weird that is when I ignore them and report. I actually had one German man call me, so I have taken my phone number off now! Midwest Merman Steve seems to be harmless, I get message from him every now and then and it is a smiley face, and maybe he says how nice I look in a picture but nothing else. As long as it stays simple with him I will be fine, but if the comments go any further then that block and report.
My amazing husband/mer wrangler does such a great job assisting me in real life but he gets a bit worried in the cyber world. I told him we are doing the best we can and trying to keep everyone informed of the issues we are having with certain people and the more we can I for each other the safer we will all be!!!

I have had issues with this "Midwest Merman Steve," as well - general trolling and time waster.

[Mermaid Wesley]

He's not necessarily a mervert though. He's a bit socially awkward but he's a friend of mine on fb and he's just trying to be friendly. Annoying? Yea. Mervert? Nope.


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[Mermaid Wesley]

I got this today


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[PearlieMae]

Even though I've blocked every possible iteration, Facebook told me today is Gordon Shagene's birthday.

[Seraphina Suds]

That's the same guy I posted, Wesley! I wonder who else he's bothered...

[Mermaid Wesley]

That's the same guy I posted, Wesley! I wonder who else he's bothered...

He's posted a few annoying things on my photos before but this is the first one that's warranted a block from me.

[Echidna]

Even though I've blocked every possible iteration, Facebook told me today is Gordon Shagene's birthday.

Urg, me too, and I never had him on my friendslist to begin with.
Means he has some fake alt profile on there

[Anahita]

Remember ladies what I said in either this thread or another.... Middle-Eastern and North African men will say disgusting things to you because we as a people are taught as a whole that Western women are all "easy" and that that's how you can and should talk to them. So sadly, I hate to encourage stereotyping, but I must give the disclaimer to be wary of them when they pop up, especially because the mermaid outfits are "revealing" so they flock to that shit and totally act inappropriately because they're usually looking at it for essentially sexual reasons (because they can see a lot of your upper body).

Tell them that their behavior is inappropriate and that this is not the way to talk to anyone, and that if they continue, they will be blocked and reported for sexual harassment.

Usually they stop saying the inappropriate stuff after they've been told not to, and it's up to you if you're still comfortable knowing now why they're hanging around you/your page, or if you're not, you can block them anyways.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I hate to play the race card too but I have to agree with Anahita :| sometimes it really is just that.
It's like so wrong on so many levels. Like why do they think that it's ok ? Smh

[Mermaid Mystery]

OKAY that's it I've had it. Is "Merman Triton" safe? All I see from him is "love mermaid" and "I love you mermaid" and it's driving me crazy. I haven't seen anyone respond to him when he says this either. Is it just me or does this seem weird???


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[Mermaid Wesley]

I got an inappropriate comment from him the other day. I can't remember what it said but I blocked him.


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[Coradion]

Remember ladies what I said in either this thread or another.... Middle-Eastern and North African men will say disgusting things to you because we as a people are taught as a whole that Western women are all "easy" and that that's how you can and should talk to them. So sadly, I hate to encourage stereotyping, but I must give the disclaimer to be wary of them when they pop up, especially because the mermaid outfits are "revealing" so they flock to that shit and totally act inappropriately because they're usually looking at it for essentially sexual reasons (because they can see a lot of your upper body).

Tell them that their behavior is inappropriate and that this is not the way to talk to anyone, and that if they continue, they will be blocked and reported for sexual harassment.

Usually they stop saying the inappropriate stuff after they've been told not to, and it's up to you if you're still comfortable knowing now why they're hanging around you/your page, or if you're not, you can block them anyways.

I think this is really good advice and understanding cultural differences is important to discerning the reality of the situation. Discern before passing judgment!

[AniaR]

We can pass judgment all we want thanks. Would you not pass judgment on other totally unacceptable behaviors because someone was from another culture??? No. You would pass judgment. And when it comes to online sexual harassment you shouldn't excuse it away. Anahita was explaining the why of the demographic
Not the this is an excuse for them.
Don't mansplain.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Yeaaah I mean there's a cultural difference but that doesn't excuse people. They're still know I don't welcome comments like that. They're not dumb.


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[AniaR]

I mean let's be frank: female oppression is the norm in a huge amount of cultures. That doesnt mean we "discern before passing judgment". This is a thread for people to vent and document their experiences with online harassment from men and EVEN when it comes to dealing with people who have a disorder that makes it hard for them communicate appropriately online doesn't mean we don't let them know either that what they're doing is unacceptable, and block them, and take appropriate measures to protect ourselves. This way people in the community can decide if they want to avoid someone, or check if they've been getting weird messages if someone else had an experience, and you know what? It even helps in situations where someone might be doing something illegal because we have a record.

These excuses just don't fly. And I don't want any girl posting their experiences here to be subjected to a lecture about how they need to be more understanding of the person harassing them, It's victim blaming and enables the wider rape culture by making excuses for the people in the wrong. (and to be clear Anahita I know you're not doing that. You're just explaining the "ahh why do these guys think it's ok?) I think it's something YOU maybe need to understand better Coradion so you can discern the reality of the situation which is this: us mermaids are subjected to this constantly; and it's not ok. And we are entitled to take measures to document it, help ourselves, and prevent others from experiencing it. Regardless of the perpetrator's story.

We are basically dealing with internet catcalling. Here's some information about catcalling and why it's not ok in ANY circumstance:

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/1...t-cat-calling/
http://greatist.com/happiness/sexual-harassment-street
http://hellogiggles.com/no-catcallin...-and-heres-why

http://www.bustle.com/articles/45667...ch-study-finds
http://www.psmag.com/health-and-beha...internet-72170
http://fortune.com/2014/10/22/forty-...rassed-online/

[Echidna]

There is enough victim blaming in the world already.

Whether it's the gang-rapemurder mentality ("she went out after dusk, it's her fault") or people of a certain "culture" being exempt from jurisdiction because in their homeland, pouring acid over a woman that doesn't want them (or killing and burning her, not necessarily in that order) is the way it's done.
These things should not happen, and if they happen, there is no excuse.

Don't ask of people to understand that this is part of a so-called "culture".
How about; pull your heads out of the Middle Ages, and understand where the world is today.
Or could be.

[AniaR]

How about; pull your heads out of the Middle Ages, and understand where the world is today.
Or could be.