B!TC# IT OUT!

[SeaGlass Siren]

My MIL FROM HELL needs to back away from my space. seriously. i don't need cooking instructions, cleaning instructions, or design instructions from a woman who can't even cook her own meal, clean after herself nevermind her own children, or know the basic principles of design. Hashtag-My house is cleaner and prettier than yours. Hashtag-My food tastes better than yours.

[Fun123joker]

Sorry its been awhile but my computer has this really tricky virus. It won't let me open. Norton and when I went online for geeksquad help the helper told me the virus was stopping us from connecting. I gave my computer to qeeksquad right when spring break started!
No videogames or certain posting features on sites for spring break. Im phone bound｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟﾟﾟ･｡
P.s. I refuse to use tapatalk because I tried using it but it just gave me trouble

[Sherielle]

That oh so wonderful feeling when you know your co-workers have turned against you and you don't know what you did wrong.

[Mermaid Kelda]

No videogames or certain posting features on sites for spring break. Im phone bound｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟﾟﾟ･｡
P.s. I refuse to use tapatalk because I tried using it but it just gave me trouble

Do you have an apple or android phone? If it's android, there's a neat trick you can use to view the normal, desktop, full-version of a site rather than the mobile version. Means you can use all the regular posting features I don't use tapatalk either, it's awful haha

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I started a casual job on Monday, working for the elections... The table I decided to sit at, down sits two old Chinese ladies. They go round and round in circles, whereas I want to move on with the job and start a new ballot box.

Today, felt like the longest shift ever! We finished a huge ballot box early and we're supposed to start on the next, what do they want to do? They go into the recycle bin to look for labels and sticky tape to make the papers look nice. I tell them, we have a deadline, we don't have time to make things nice! What do they say? "Oh the label is ripped! Let's the two of us, get the sticky tape and tape it all up!"

Our role in the elections warehouse is to sort and count. Not mess about wasting time finding labels or taping stuff up. It gets checked later on by another distribution center anyway, so why am I waiting around for two old ladies to, is because, we have to "finish" as a team!

I rarely sit with them during our breaks... I wonder why...

Oh and another thing, I was asked why am I not married yet? Her words were, "The best time to get married is at 26 years old, then you can have kids and make your parents very happy."
I just ignore her as I was counting the ballot papers. Next comment bit me. "Why aren't you looking a for Chinese man?"
Geez! I don't even know you and you're asking me these types of questions?!?!

To stop more questions, I replied, "My ovaries don't work anymore. They stopped working last year. And no, I don't feel like I missed out on having kids, as I don't really like them anyways!"

I only like the kids that I don't have to take home with me! Like at the swimming pool!

[Echidna]

That oh so wonderful feeling when you know your co-workers have turned against you and you don't know what you did wrong.

in 99% cases of bullying at work (or school, or whatever), the person bullied has done NOTHING.
It just happens for stupid reasons (like; you are the only female and the dudes want a boy's club; you are prettier than your female coworkers; etc), and often for no reason at all.

I know it's a horrible situation to be in, and it sucks stuff like this happens frequently, but do not blame yourself.

[Echidna]

"The best time to get married is at 26 years old, then you can have kids and make your parents very happy."

I know reason is lost to that kind of busybodies, but:

"The best time to marry is never, if the sole reason to marry is to have kids.
Because the world already has a few billion people too many than it could possibly sustain."

The only responsible choice is to not put more children out there, until the world's population has shrunk to a reasonable number.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Wow, Mermaid Jaffa. I know your frustration. It's just as bad when you are married and have decided not to have kids. You get the "when are you having kids??? When when WHEN?" As if the only reason to get married was to produce offspring to make everybody else happy, not to spend the rest of your life with your best friend and partner whom you share a deep love with. I actually had to tell my mom that if she pressured me one more time for grandkids, it would be the last time I ever spoke to her, and I meant it. That's how bad it was. I'm not a queen, I have no obligation to have kids. If someone truly wants to raise children and be a parent, then I think those are the people who should. The world needs more good parents who take that job seriously. Someone who does not want kids will probably not be as good a parent, and that's not fair to anyone - certainly not the child. Also, liking kids and raising them are two entirely different worlds. I have friends who don't like kids, but they are stellar parents to their own. I really like kids, and I do not want to be a parent.

[Sherielle]

in 99% cases of bullying at work (or school, or whatever), the person bullied has done NOTHING.
It just happens for stupid reasons (like; you are the only female and the dudes want a boy's club; you are prettier than your female coworkers; etc), and often for no reason at all.

I know it's a horrible situation to be in, and it sucks stuff like this happens frequently, but do not blame yourself.

Thanks Echidna. I do try to remember this. It's just hard when it's continual. I had to talk to my boss this morning because I knew that my co-worker would tattle on me for something I had no control over.

[Echidna]

I feel you.
I had bullying ongoing for almost 3 years straight, then I had the opportunity to quit (and was gone so fast you couldn't blink).
My advice is, if you feel it's getting to you too much and talking to your superiors doesn't help, don't stick around.
The toll bullying, scheming and all that other conspiratory crap can have on you is probably worse than finding another job.

[Fun123joker]

I was bullied in middle school because I was the quiet girl. The teachers did nothing. They stopped after I stanpped. As in I got up and threaten to hurt them and showed that I had power. OK not the best way to stop it but I put them in there place sooooo.

[Fun123joker]

Ok so when your making your bf a cool punk rock vest and he is your size it seems easy right
Until you realised that he is a boy. So he has broad shoulders
And you suck at shoulders
Screw shoulders

[MermaidCelesteFL]

{Let me preface this with a couple facts about my family and this situation: I'm 27 years old, my middle sister just turned 18, and my youngest is 16. My dad has a job that requires him to work hours away in Tallahassee, and my mom is blind, bipolar, and has borderline personality disorder. She has made my life a living hell at times throughout mine and my sisters' entire lives. She is physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive to everyone in the family, and the reason why I live with PTSD. Right now, only my baby sister and three cats live with her. }

I just found out on my second lunch break at work that my mom attempted suicide again, making this the second time in the last five months that she has overdosed and landed herself in the hospital. I don't know what she took or how much she took of it, but all I know is that she collapsed and at some point an ambulance was called.

She just completely lost it last night when she got into a fight with my middle sister and my middle sister took my youngest sister back with her to college. I was called (I live about an hour and a half away), and was told to come home, but later was told to forget about it, and everything was okay as long as she was on the phone with someone.

At around 4 am, I got a call from my middle sister telling me that my mom had decided to break some dishes all over the kitchen floor, take a carton of orange juice and spill it all over the floor, and then urinated on the floor. She then complained that she can't feed herself because of the condition the kitchen, and NEEDED my youngest sister to come home and take care of her. Due to schoolwork and exams, my sisters couldn't afford to come back home and take care of our mom. Nobody could.

I got a call later in the morning (when I was awake enough to answer), saying that my sister's therapist has been called, and my mom was expected to be Baker Acted upon arrival. That would have been a relief for me, but that would mean that she would no longer have a chance to attend her special therapy classes that she had been looking forward to in order to become more independant as a blind person. Those classes would have her move away for weeks at a time to help her live on her own. So now we have to live with her and her bad decisions for heaven knows how long, because she can't behave.


I don't even know what kind of condition she's in... it's like she's not my mom anymore.


I feel like I could have prevented all of this from happening if I just would have driven back there after work last night.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

That woman is so blur!!!

She asked me today, what time I went to sleep last night, I replied, "6 pm after my dinner". She then said, "Oh! That's too early! Why do you sleep so early?"
So I then had to explain to her, I lived far away from work. In the afternoons, after work, public transports take longer as there is more traffic and buses taken away for school services. By the time I get home, its nearly dinner time. It takes me about an hour to get to work, but going home, it takes about 90 mins.

Because she lives close by to the workplace, she does not understand the concept of how tiring just travelling on public transport can be. And she told us on Monday (our first day at work), that she only drives in familiar surroundings, like to and from the shops and her home.

Another q she asked was, "Why do you walk from the station when you can catch the bus?"

My reply, "LOL! In case you haven't noticed, this is a sit down job. The only times we are walking around is to go to the toilet, the kitchen area and getting our workload for the day. Walking helps keep me in shape, and because I am working, I can't go swimming like I usually do." Of course, the explanation goes beyond her head and I had to ask the other Chinese lady to explain it to her in Cantonese!

Honestly, I can't wait till this current assignment is over! It runs over the Easter school holidays and after that, hopefully, I won't ever see her again!

Tomorrow onwards, I'm just going to ignore her questions. I feel they are too personal to answer in such a public place, and I don't even know her outside of the workplace.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I've had 3 panic attacks within the past 4 days. I don't know what is causing them.
Logically it would hand to be something stressful in my life but I don't have anything stressful that might trigger it.
I'd be online or standing at work and suddenly forget to breathe and have the urge to throw up. :s

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I feel like I could have prevented all of this from happening if I just would have driven back there after work last night.

No, you couldn't have prevented this. You are dealing with someone who has far more problems than you can be held responsible for, someone who is clearly an emotional manipulative abuser. None of this is your fault, and if you blame yourself, your sisters will blame themselves also, and it is not their fault either. This is a horrible situation, and I'm sorry you and your family are dealing with this, but none of it is your fault. Your first obligation is to take care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Then and only then can you help others - but only to the extent that you are capable without harming yourself. If you can't help them more, there is no reason to feel guilty.
{{hugs}}

[Mermaid Lilium]

Started a new job on monday, It's basically my worst nightmare: answering phones.

answering phones is such an anxiety triggering thing for me, but the job is full time until the end of the season in november, 5 days a week on rota, the team are nice and they're more than happy to swap shifts etc, they spent monday sorting out my uniform and getting me to read literature about the park (it's at the theme park, I can't risk naming it cause NDA), and having me listen in on calls to get an idea. The girl I was paired with was even trying to nudge me to try answering a call monday afternoon and I was like NOPE NOPE NOT YET!!

i've been off the last two days as I had pre-arranged things going on, and I'm back at work tomorrow morning at 9. I know i'll be learning up on the computer systems and how to use the phones etc. But I know the pressure will be on for me to at least answer a call by the end of the day, or if I manage to avoid it tomorrow then it'll be friday. Anything later than that and I think the team-members might get pissy with me.

I am DREADING work tomorrow. I can't even explain how much. My depression is triggering like crazy and having a field day, even making me have stupid suicidal thoughts/urges and I've faught off several anxiety attacks tonight. I was fighting them off monday morning as I was getting ready but this feels much worse.

I really don't know if I can do this, but I need the money and the job desperately and mum was already getting funny with me cause I was turning down quite a few jobs that weren't enough hours or not jobs I wanted to do. She's head of HR at the park and so she was pushing me towards jobs and making me feel trapped into taking one of them. Like she called me out of the blue passing on the msg of the offer of this current job and was like 'I need to give them an answer' I managed to delay it, arranged to go in and talk to the head of dept and have a look round and everyone was so nice and relaxed about it I thought maybe I could do it but now I'm really really not sure.

I don't want to let anyone down, I already feel like I made an arse of myself on my first day and don't want to confirm what I feel are people's thoughts about me. And the wardrobe/uniform dept shortened trousers for me already, IT should have set up my accounts including on a special thing that they only have limited licenses for etc, the teammembers went out of their way to help me monday and I just... I don't want to let them down or have wasted their time.

I don't know what to do and that trapped feeling is what's making my depression this bad. :'( I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

If I go to mum she will just try to calm me and encourage me to try tomorrow and then do the same the next day and the one after. If I go to my friends they say 'oh don't worry, you'll be fine!' when I really don't think I will be and wholeheartedly expect to end up fucking up on one of my first calls and ending up making a total arse of myself and/or breaking down in the middle of the office.

I wish people gave a crap enough about my work that I could just sell a couple of prints on a semi-regular basis, just enough to keep me going and stop me from having to get a job like this.

[Naufra]

Lilium, I have your new theme song right here. I think all of us can relate to this one.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Have you talked to your co-workers/boss? Even if they don't have ideas to make it easier on you, they should at least understand and maybe be able to give you a little more slack. You could ask if there's anything else you can do around the office to help, while you work up the nerve. Maybe ask a co-worker if you can practice calls with them on the other line, or get a friend to call up, etc. If they're nice people, which it sounds like they are, I'm sure they'll be willing to be a little more accommodating than usual.

[Azurin Luna]

I hated making phone calls to, and I still don't like it. But what helped for me was that someone told me this: "remember, they don't you and you don't know them, and probably you will never meet them either. Help them to your best capabilities and you will be fine" Oh, and you could ask if someone could be your 'safety net' that if someone calls and you don't know how to answer their questions you can put them through to them. Practice calls can help, as Kelda mentioned, and as you call people or get called more often, it will get easier. And a paper with notes on what to ask helps too