Gordon got around to liking our page, hasn't done anything yet but will keep an eye out.
Gordon got around to liking our page, hasn't done anything yet but will keep an eye out.
Originally Posted by SeaGlass Siren
Ahh, ok!
I think James Anthony is a major collector. I've seen him ask folks permission to post their photos on his page, so it seems like he is at least respectful about it. Not something I'm personally comfortable with so I rejected his request so he can't see my photos...
I think they messaged me several days ago asking the same. I declined, and the exchange was respectful. I appreciate them asking permission at least. But apparently Facebook marked it as spam anyway and has blocked the user from my page and profile so I can't see who it was or if they're posting anything! Ugh Facebook. If someone wouldn't mind keeping an eye out on that page for me I would appreciate it
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A certain Lee James has been stalking my page for a few days now, tried to be friends with me on IG several times... Looks like a creep! Any other mers have been in contact with this guy?!
Yeah, Lee James is the same guy as James Lee Anthony. Kishiko and I were just posting about him if you read the last few posts on this thread.
He uses mermaid pics on his page, but it seems like he always asks permission. I keep rejecting friend requests from him because I just don't understand what is to be gained by having a somewhat creepy dude use your pic for his profile or cover photo. My Facebook is private, but he has been able to like and comment on my photos because of others tagged in the photos. I keep an eye on his page regularly to make sure my stuff doesn't pop up on there.
Also, I'm not quite sure why he has multiple accounts using similar names. Hopefully he's not the re-imagining of the Shagene.
So this is mostly a warning for the Dutch Mermaids, but we've been having some issues with a guy named "Rob Bor" or "Robin".
He's been sending messages that start out innocent but later on he makes is very clear that he has some kind of bondage / restriction fetish.
Currently he's sending out messages to all the Dutch Mers , asking if we'd be willing to participate in a photoshoot with his 6 month old daughter (no proof that he has one though).
He doesn't want to take these photo's in a studio, only in his own home in the room of his daughter.
He asked another Mer if he could maybe try on her tail and take pictures in that as well.
So be warned! I'll post this in the Europod as well.
He kept tagging himself in mine as well, I had to change my settings and stop all tagging and remove him from many of my photos. What mermaid group was he running ?
Mermaid Kisses and Starfish Wishes!
I got shagened again....
The SeaGlass Siren
Steve smith has been literally doing this for 9 years I kid you not
Just happened to me - again - too.
"Please don't fucking drown." - Regina, my daughter
http://www.pearliemae.net
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He liked all my pages several times.
How can a page be liked twice by the same person?
they made a ban button on the mobile version of facebook. not sure if they did the same if you were accessing the computer..
The SeaGlass Siren
I know some of them make numerous accounts to creep on all of us, but do we have a list of them?
He strikes me the same way too, which worries me because I have autism and tend to come off creepy to people in real life. I know that has always being a thing for me was thinking about how awesome you guys are and wanting to compliment people and get to know them but not come off as a mervert. Honestly I have searched my name on the forum before hoping I didn't show up as a mervert.
So far on my profile I have had about 6 people message me with a Hi or something and I respond with "Hello. What can I do for you?", and then I never hear back from them. A bit weird, but I guess that comes with the territory.
No disrespect to Kishiko intended at ALL, (I adore her!) but as a mental health professional I would strongly urge people to leave armchair diagnosis to themselves on this thread and only use the template to report unwanted interaction/abuse for the very reason you mentioned.
Looked through the thread and although he was mentioned a few times, Merman Steve was never once accused of being inappropriate with anyone. If I missed someone's report of harassment, then I do apologize in advance.
If his interaction with anyone makes them feel uncomfortable, by all means, protect yourself how you see fit. That's your right.
But please PLEASE do not make judgments as to a person's mental or emotional health without the education to do so. This can be very harming to people who've found something that DOES give them a healthy outlet.
Being the mother and sister of men with autism, I am usually quite sure when someone has autism verses someone who is a mervert. The problem is 1. most other people do not know the difference and 2. sometimes people with autism come off as creepy so it is assumed they are a mervert, and 3. sometimes they will say something that in not appropriate because they don't understand social boundaries.
For instance, I was working an event recently and a young guy was hanging around and talking a lot. To everyone else working there, he was creepy and weird and one even said he wanted to punch him in the face until I told him that he was just severely autistic. I felt so bad for him because he was there all alone both weekends, creeping everyone out, and I was the only one who knew he was autistic and just trying to have fun and make friends. I have been thinking about him and feeling sad for him for weeks now because I know how hard it is for these people, because my son is one of them. This guy even made, what could here be seen as inappropriate comment to me. He said I was a hot mermaid and he liked hot mermaids. The thing is, I know he did not mean to be inappropriate. He thought he was complementing me. People with autism want girlfriends / boyfriends too, and they may say things that creep us out because they don't know it creeps us out. They hear it on tv or the internet and they think that's what happens in real life. My son recently got into Chris Farley movies, so he has been going around loudly yelling movie quotes like Chris when the situation seems similar to him. I have to remind him every day that TV is just for laughing at but we don't want to act like that in real life. He will rudely walk right thru a crowd of people saying "step aside folks" because that is what Chris did in a movie and people get so mad and I have to keep reminding him not to do that. Fortunately? my son is Asexual so he doesn't have any desire for a girlfriend so he doesn't bother people that way, but my brother did and still does. I have no idea what he does online but I can only hope he's behaving. lol
It's just something to keep in mind, sometimes these "creepy" guys are just guys who want to be friends or maybe even a girlfriend, but don't know how. If you think they might have autism, you can tell them that what they said is not appropriate and you didn't like it, or it made you feel uncomfortable and not to do it again. If your not sure, sometimes it's better safe than sorry, just block them.
Merman Chatfish, I am so sorry you have the creepy label in real life. I know that must be so hard for you. I'm glad you have learned how to choose your words to help give a better impression online. I know it's a lot easier for people with autism to have online friends because of that.
^
Unless accompanied by other weird comments and/or innuendo, I would take something like "You're a hot mermaid and I'm into them" as a compliment too.
Someone simply commenting and liking my stuff?
No problem.
Someone telling every mer they are looking for a girlfriend?
Awkward, but nothing I would get worked up over.
I can understand though that people get overly sensitive once they have experienced a real creeper.
That kind of sticks, and every time you read something similar, it reminds you of it.
This. <3
Maybe it's because I'm used to the way guys communicate and treat friendships, but I'm not really easily creeped out. It would take something obviously threatening or inappropriate for me to actually feel the need to take action. I've known a few autistic people as well so most of the time, I can tell the difference between someone who is just autistic so they act a little differently and respond differently to social stimuli, and someone who is a creeper. It seems kind of obvious to me, but I know not everyone has experience with those situations. And fear of the unknown and all that.
Formerly known as Lotus_Blooming
I dont think it's overly sensitive in the slightest. The guy who messaged every mermaid as often as he could asking for a girlfriend? sending them the resume of what a girlfriend should be by his standards? I think we have every right to be offended.I can understand though that people get overly sensitive once they have experienced a real creeper.
Yes, there needs to be some understanding for people with special needs, but at the same time, we should also encourage people like that to be appropriate. KL has autism and frequents the forum and facebook, and her tendencies caused a lot of issues with members so we all met in the middle where members gave her wiggle room and tried not to be offended, but she also worked hard to self regulate.
As far as people who don't have special needs, sorry but to me it's catcalling. And cat calling is basically like those kiosks you see at the mall where you know what they're offering and have no interest in it, but you can't get by them without them yelling at you and trying to solicit you. Except with men cat calling women, they aren't selling a product from a store, they trying to sell you their dick. lol, (that was a great analogy I saw on FB once) If you have a thicker skin and you arent bothered, or you enjoy the attention that's fine, but I think it's inappropriate to tell people they're feeling over sensitive if these things bother them.
The fact of the matter is, it's unwanted attention from a stranger. It wouldn't be appropriate in person, why online? I think women have been conditioned to accept this stuff as normal and become desensitized to it. I mean we get it as mermaids and comments on our tails etc that push the boundaries between "compliment" and outright sexual. Meanwhile everyday women get the same damn thing from men online they don't know, and it's not cool.
Meanwhile these guys who do the constant messaging often approach underage members in our community as well, more vulnerable people who may not understand the risks.
Overall, I prefer airing on the side of caution. Even with special needs. I have a local stalker who has special needs. And while I appreciate what he struggles with that doesn't make what he put me through any less terrifying or real. And I made every opportunity to let him know it wasn't ok, and block communication from him. But he saw me in the paper, found out where I worked, ended up living in the same area, and found multiple ways to contact me. For people who have experience with autism or other disabilities which may effect a person's social skills they may have a better sense of what a person's like, but if you don't know I think with the track record our community has, it's just better to be safe. You don't have to be an asshole or anything. but use discretion. I can't tell you how many mermaids come to me because they have legit creepers and merverts and it turns out they answer them all the time regardless of how inappropriate it is. If you dont like the communication, block and delete.
There's also the question of mental illness which impairs people's judgement and can get people into dangerous situations. Like the guy who knew me as a mermaid and approached me at a bar when I was there with Iona, and just basically screamed at me because he didn't believe in mermaids. An adult male.
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