B!TC# IT OUT!

[Mermaid Mystery]

I'm going crazy. That's not an exaggeration, my mental health has almost completely deteriorated and I've broken down twice. I'm probably about 20 pounds underweight. I should've been hospitalized weeks ago. I've fallen apart at this point. Insurance won't pay for any working treatment so hospitalization is the only option. My mom is absolutely refusing and I've told her countless fucking times that I need it. I'm being completely serious and she's acting like its a joke. My grades are terrible and she's blaming it all on me and I can't handle it anymore and every day I think about killing myself and rationally I know not to do that but because I'm insane I can't control how I feel. I need help and I recognize that but I'm being refused any help.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

That. Sucks.

[PhaylennMurúch]

I'm going crazy. That's not an exaggeration, my mental health has almost completely deteriorated and I've broken down twice. I'm probably about 20 pounds underweight. I should've been hospitalized weeks ago. I've fallen apart at this point. Insurance won't pay for any working treatment so hospitalization is the only option. My mom is absolutely refusing and I've told her countless fucking times that I need it. I'm being completely serious and she's acting like its a joke. My grades are terrible and she's blaming it all on me and I can't handle it anymore and every day I think about killing myself and rationally I know not to do that but because I'm insane I can't control how I feel. I need help and I recognize that but I'm being refused any help.

oh hun *hugs* you need to call 911, you are having a psychiatric emergency. Call and tell them exactly what you posted here, they'll send someone out. Or walk into your closest hospital's ER for evaluation. You deserve care and if your mother won't get you the care you need then you need to go out and get it

[Imogen Finnly]

I agree with phaylenn, you need to seek out help. You shouldn't have to do this on your own

[Mermaid Mystery]

I've got a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow with someone I've never met before, so I'm hoping this one will actually listen to what I'm saying instead of suggesting some bs antidepressants that make everything worse. I also just discovered that Carrie Fisher will be at Silicon Valley Comic Con next month and I probably won't be able to meet her so I'll probably die a bit inside from that. Unles of course I got her attention somehow. But that's not my main concern right now, although it would be lovely. I'm just nervous to pour my heart out to yet another stranger.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

This one will listen, Mystery! You can force this one to listen!!!

[Mermaid Mystery]

I GOT: a pill. that's all. nothing. i asked her about everything and she just gave me a look. if this were MY psychiatrist I would be fine but this is not okay.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

What. A. Bitch.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Wat a day. Jesus.

so to start, my recurring dream came back and it was so traumatizing i woke up shaking. I'm beginning to wonder if I have ptsd because it's begun affecting my daily life.
Then at work today this bitch gets all up in my face after I apologized to her for sounding rude and malicious as it wasn't my intention. Then she goes on to critique how I work (which is stupid because my bosses have no problem with it) so I take it up with the boss and I relay the incident that happened because I'm not having this.
Then because I've been so emotionally distraught today I went on my period early and fucking stained my undies. (Tragic I know......)
then my friend of Australia gave me a call and she was on the verge of suicide and I have never been so fearful in my entire life. Just the thought of having someone over the phone threatening to kill themselves over a stupid boy who raped somebody, and knowing I may be the last person to have contacted her. Scariest thought ever. It got so bad my husband had to intervene and help me get through to her so that she wouldn't actually stab herself. It took me 3 hours. Now I'm a little traumatized over what happened.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Oh SeaGlass. *hugs*

[Nyx]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry SeaGlass.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Seaglass I'm so sorry you had to go through that trying to prevent suicide is very traumatic in itself. I'm glad you got through to her, mad props to you and your husband. I hope things get better for your friend, and I hope things are less stressful for you!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I gave her a call this morning to see if she was ok. She's a lot better now thankfully.

[Sabrina the Selkie]

That's good.

[Mermaid Clara]

I'm feeling at war with myself lately. I really want to make myself a nice tail but if I do it now I will have to completely remake it because I'm going on this special diet and I'm going to hopefully loose a lot of weight that's been holding me back my whole life. The other thing really bothering me is the whole loosing weight thing because I'm scared of not being able to loose the weight I need to loose. I'm doubting myself that I'm going to be stay on the diet and succeed. I'm also afraid of the change that will happen. My whole life I've seen myself as fat and ugly, I still cringe and feel disgusted when I see my reflection. My second semester of college I started to accept myself a little bit, but I'm still having a hard time. The diet is supposed to be a eating lifestyle change and I'm really feel like I'm ready to do this for myself and take control of my disgusting eating habits and lifestyle, I just can't seem to shake this feeling of uncertainty and fear.


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[Sabrina the Selkie]

Change is always scary. But you'll do fine.

[Mermaid Alea]

I'm feeling at war with myself lately. I really want to make myself a nice tail but if I do it now I will have to completely remake it because I'm going on this special diet and I'm going to hopefully loose a lot of weight that's been holding me back my whole life. The other thing really bothering me is the whole loosing weight thing because I'm scared of not being able to loose the weight I need to loose. I'm doubting myself that I'm going to be stay on the diet and succeed. I'm also afraid of the change that will happen. My whole life I've seen myself as fat and ugly, I still cringe and feel disgusted when I see my reflection. My second semester of college I started to accept myself a little bit, but I'm still having a hard time. The diet is supposed to be a eating lifestyle change and I'm really feel like I'm ready to do this for myself and take control of my disgusting eating habits and lifestyle, I just can't seem to shake this feeling of uncertainty and fear.


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Do you know of anyone who would change their eating habits and lifestyle with you? It really helps when you have someone there to encourage you and change along with you. When one of you struggles, the other one will be there for support.

___________________________________

Last week my boyfriend and I celebrated being together for four years. We had a serious talk and he told me I don't open up to him a lot about my feelings. I realized I suck because it has been four years and I am still have issues about being more open with him. I guess I am so used to no one really listening to me or caring about what I say, that I just don't bother sharing with people. Actually now that I think about it, I have never really been super close to anyone. Even after all this time I am still worried that he will get tired of me or doesn't care about what I have to say or something. I don't know why I am still having trouble accepting that he really loves me and wants me to feel free to tell him anything (which he always tells me) and I don't know why I can't find the words. I don't know what is wrong with me...I guess I have come a long way since we first started dating. I still have a long way to go though...It is just so frustrating because he is the perfectest, nicest, sweetest boyfriend ever and I feel like I am letting him down.

[PearlieMae]

...
Last week my boyfriend and I celebrated being together for four years. We had a serious talk and he told me I don't open up to him a lot about my feelings. I realized I suck because it has been four years and I am still have issues about being more open with him. I guess I am so used to no one really listening to me or caring about what I say, that I just don't bother sharing with people. Actually now that I think about it, I have never really been super close to anyone. Even after all this time I am still worried that he will get tired of me or doesn't care about what I have to say or something. I don't know why I am still having trouble accepting that he really loves me and wants me to feel free to tell him anything (which he always tells me) and I don't know why I can't find the words. I don't know what is wrong with me...I guess I have come a long way since we first started dating. I still have a long way to go though...It is just so frustrating because he is the perfectest, nicest, sweetest boyfriend ever and I feel like I am letting him down.

Tell him exactly that. Tell him that you are trying, but it's difficult for you, and if he really cared for you, he will be patient and supportive, and that you will try, every day, to open up...just a little more.

It's a habit that you have to develop. You'll get there!

[Mermaid Alea]

Thanks Pearlie! I think I might call him right now.

[Mermaid Mystery]

kitten went in for chemo today. she was grumpy for about an hour but so far she's doing really well.
also someone please stop me before mermaid kylo ren becomes a thing