B!TC# IT OUT!

[Mermaid Whisper]

***

[Merman Dan]

As I make a good bit less than $1,100 a month, I could potentially apply for disability, though I feel like my dad would make me the talk of the town for "mooching off the government" in his near-top tax bracket voice.

Remind him that his tax dollars already go to such programs. Might as well be for someone he knows.

And might I suggest at 1:30am, Oreos are the snack of choice?

[Mermaid Whisper]

Remind him that his tax dollars already go to such programs. Might as well be for someone he knows.

And might I suggest at 1:30am, Oreos are the snack of choice?

That's a good point. Stop being right all the time, Dan

Oreos are perfection, but I don't have any. Mmm. Just thinking about the mint ones...


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[Merman Dan]

Yeah, trying to eat veggie sticks and pretend they're Oreos isn't working for me either.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Every time he is hypocritical, point it out. Maybe he'll learn what an ass he's being.

From personal experience, get out of there even if it's to go stay with a friend til you're set up. Abuse doesn't have to be physical. Mental abuse can be far far worse than physical, and easier for the abuser to hide.

You need to get away, cut him out of your life and never look back.

I've not seen my dad since 2002 and my life is far better for it.

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[TheSaltySiren]

I don't have anything to do with my stepfather at all. He is a money grubbing, mean old man and after a few years of taking his shit, I up and left.

Don't be scared to admit something is wrong and that he is an abuser. Call him out for what he is, and do not worry about how he may feel. You need total care of yourself first and foremost and stop trying to please everyone else as it is obviously making you miserable.

You don;t need to have loyalty to someone who is a sheer bully. And yes, disability is a great idea. You are not mooching off anyone, you have Autism (like I do) and require help with having enough finances etc, so that you can have a normal life.

As a teen I wanted to make everyone happy and please people, and now at 32 I know that that is not possible. Only people can make themselves happy, it's not your job to do it. Work on yourself, Let people earn your trust and respect. I am happier than ever now and have a gorgeous, caring wife as well. Things do get better, but you must have courage and take the risk.

I could tell you a few tales...

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Yes. I'm sorry, Whisper. Your step-dad is an abuser and you need to get out of there.

You don't have to tell him that, you don't have to call him on it, but you DO need to leave.

I like to see the best in people too. And that's how I missed for years that a dear friend of mine is a narcissistic butt - just like her emotionally abusive father, and that she was using his tactics against her against me.

It's why I patiently stood by another friend for years, finding her when she went missing, being a sounding board when things were awful.

I didn't realize I really needed to pull away until she went to rehab. And my mom still thinks about when we were six years old and my friend begged my mom to adopt her and get her out of her auntie's house.

But my mom believed the best in her auntie. And now my friend has faced a lifetime of abuse and has become a blood sucking drug addict that I just simply can't help anymore.

You need to get the hell away, Whisper. And who knows if he really sexually assaulted your sister. But we DO know know that he uses mental and emotional manipulation tactics against you and you need to get out.

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[Sabrina the Selkie]

It's all part of how he was socialized. Being socialized as male is inherently harmful to women. Some men grow up and realize how they use little abuses and do their best to go against their socialization. Others never do and continue to perpetuate the patriarchy. The patriarchy has been instilled in everyone since birth and is inherently violent. Especially towards women. Especially towards women who for whatever reason are incapable of providing for themselves.


You need to get out.

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[Sabrina the Selkie]

I wish you were near Kettering, Ohio. A friend of mine runs something of an abused women's clinic out of her apartment. Her boyfriend teaches them self defence and martial arts while my friend, A, goes about being amazing giving them a sounding board to talk to, good tea, and herbal remedies for their injuries. She doesn't let them live there, but she lets them come for evenings and occasional overnights (she herself doesn't usually go to bed until six am, so it doesn't interfere with her sleep) and afternoons when she isn't working.

There's also a place in Chicago, where I live, called Anne's Haven, where women can go and have tea and conversation, or quiet time. They can bring their kids, or leave their kids at home. Occasionally a husband or two will sit in. My step-mom is currently working there.

Aparently there are a lot of these along the East Coast. See if you can get yourself to one for a few hours just to talk to other women about life in person. They might make a good sounding board too.

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[Mermaid Whisper]

***

[Sabrina the Selkie]

Yaaaaay!!!!!

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[Mermaid Whisper]

couldn't do it without my merfriends!

My dad said he thought about it, and since I'm not transporting any furniture, he's helping me move!

He's salty, but I think he'll get over it


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[Sabrina the Selkie]

That's so wonderful! ♡♡♡♡♡

Lots of love!

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[Mermaid Whisper]

That's so wonderful! ♡♡♡♡♡

Lots of love!

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feeling all the love tonight!


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[Hydra1337]

I'm glad he's helping you move and you're finally getting out of there. Way to go!

[Mermaid Summerlilly]

ayyyyyyy!! Good for you Whisper!

[Mermaid Clara]

Well my best friend officially hates me forever. She texted me saying how depressed she was and I was texting her and then she texted me saying that she wanted to hurt herself and she didn't deserve to be beautiful. She wasn't texting me back and wasn't answering her phone and she turned her phone off. I called 911 and they transferred me to the local police department who sent someone out to her place. Turns out she was at her grandmother's house. To make things worse when I texted her earlier I was mean and told her to stop feeling sorry for herself, because she was hung up over this guy who messed with her head. I immediately regretted sending it. She texted me saying she was fine around 9:30ish, I called her but she didn't answer, then she called me back, she's really angry at me. I told her that I really care about her but even though she said she glad that someone cares about her that much I could still tell she was incredible pissed off at me. My parents keep telling me that it was the right thing to do and if I didn't call the police and she had hurt herself I would be feeling even worse. I probably made her roommates incredibly mad at her as well.


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[Sabrina the Selkie]

It was the right thing to do. I'm sure she doesn't hate you. Even if she is mad.

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[moniee]

She has to realise she has absolutely no right to be mad at you... you did the right thing as she was threatening with cutting herself, who wouldn't have called 911? I can't get my head around how is SHE the one being mad at YOU. This is wrong.

[TheSaltySiren]

Just an fyi here, If anyone is vocal about hurting themselves and then hangs up, is usually doing it for attention, Trust me, when you really wanna end your life, you don't tell anyone and do it in secret. Your friends needs to smarten up and has no right to be mad at you. Sounds like mind games to me.