I'm sorryMaybe you could use the pieces for an art project like a mosaic or something that way you still have them with you just in a new form, like they were reborn.
I'm sorryMaybe you could use the pieces for an art project like a mosaic or something that way you still have them with you just in a new form, like they were reborn.
Thanks Khaleesi, but you have far more patience than I. I'm just happy not to have cut myself picking up all the shards and glass dust. I enjoyed them while I had them. sigh....
The rain here has been relentless!!! Days and days of it! My street is completely flooded, so much that it looks like a canal! My convertible is too low to the ground so I'm trapped here and it's STILL RAINING! I think I am going to offer gondola rides up and down the street. Maybe charge extra for the obligatory serenade. If this keeps up I'll make better time traveling to work in the tail!
I've been having a bunch emotions bothering me lately.
Among the many emotions I feel. I feel like I'm falling into a black abyss. I just want to hear someone tell me something my heart wants to hear. Sometimes I want someone to tell me that I'm not a bad person. I want to be told I'm caring and kind and helpful. However, all I've been is an egotistical, condescending barnacle brain. I feel among other things a nagging thought. I don't try hard enough. I'm not helpful enough. People tell me I'm helpful, and I just can't believe it. I can't believe the compliments. A part of me just won't let me. I feel like time has scattered the pieces of who I am across the sea floor as the currents carried them to the four corners of the world.
The following song is another one that gets me. The lyrics "Are we having fun yet?" really hit me hard. Bipolar is like living with a monster that's hell bent on wrecking havoc and chaos in my life. That monster is like another me consumed by emotions. When the dust settles, I almost want to say to myself sitting next to me in a bipolar episode "Are we having fun yet?" "Is this really me?" "Is this what I really am?". I don't have split personality, but at the same time, I feel so lost in a bipolar episode.
So, I feel like I'm just having one of those bad days...
I've had this feeling of guilt for what I've said in this thread. I really feel like I've been facing that guilt alone. I keep having this thought haunt me. So many first impressions went so bad because I had one of 2 manic episodes triggered by the accumulation of stress from within this community, at home, and at work. I still feel bad for what I said even if I wasn't in control of my words. I know that the world isn't always forgiving, and I know that I have to own it even if it wasn't me because the world won't look at it differently.
Sometimes I feel like I'm slipping into a coma. Not like a real coma, but I feel like I'm slipping into a shadow of darkness weighing on me. Sometimes I really feel like fighting my inner demons is too much. However, in that moment I feel like I'm slipping I feel something in my heart. I remember my friends, my family, my cat, and everyone I'm connected with. Honestly, I think that the memories of those I care about are the difference between overcoming Bipolar or not. I am not consumed by it. It does not control my life because I have the strength I can only get from friends and family.
I feel like there is so much pain around me. I almost got triggered into a mood swing by the drama on Facebook. The following video has a couple lines that really gets me. "I know your lost when you run away, into the same black holes and black mistakes." I feel in my heart that we are in running away from friendship, family, unity, and etc., into something dark. I feel like we need someone to bring back, away from those black holes and black mistakes.
And deep inside, I want all of us to stop fighting. I feel like I feel so broken because of all the fighting. I just wish there was a reset button.
I'm sorry about the long post. The music is the best way I know how to express my emotions when they start to get so chaotic.
Also, I seem to be having a lot of trouble posting anything with my Merman Dylan account.
No one has to hold all that pain. People can change and there is always hope. I am sorry that you feel that way. If you ever need someone to talk to, message me. (I might not be able to answer right away, but I'll get it)
Sent from my ShellPhone using Tapatalk
Even when I feel as bad as I do, I find music is capable of showing light in the dark. Music reminds of those who are still with me in my heart. I feel like I owe it to them to not less this funk consume me. I almost cry because I feel like they are with me fighting the darkness.
I know I'm ranting, but I kinda feel a need to somehow share what I feel more than speak.
I'm sorry about going off. I just had to express my emotions somewhere somehow.
Thanks. It's probably a part of being bipolar. Something about how my brain works drives me to over extend myself emotionally and physically. I'm feeling kinda useless as I see fighting, and I want to step in to stop it. However, I don't know if there is anything I can do to change things and stop the fighting.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk
Hi Dylan. First of all, your avatar picture is great! You look so happy!
I am sorry that you have been feeling drained emotionally and physically because of your Bipolar. I have a friend that was diagnosed as bipolar. He is a very distinguished oncologist (cancer doctor) with a long term practice and reputation of excellence in this city. Although he feels his diagnosis, which was untreated for most of his life, led to his divorce, he was able to reclaim his life with therapy and medication. The therapy to talk through his problems with someone who was patient and understanding and the correct medication to heal his body. He has since then married the love of his life, continues to see MANY patients in his thriving practice and has gone on to be a very happy, healthy, successful man. He's quite a bit older than you are.
The reason I bring this up is there is ALWAYS hope for someone in your situation. You have your whole life ahead of you. You're young, attractive, passionate, with a big heart waiting to share it with others. When I see pictures of you in your tail it makes me smile because of the obvious joy you experience swimming in it. Remember, there are many people on The Mernetwork that have all kinds of physical/emotional problems but are determined to overcome them and live life on their own terms. I know you can be one of them. Good luck to you and know there are people here that care.![]()
Thank you. I just needed to get my emotions off my chest. I guess I just need to let out and just say it once in a while. I'm trying to express things better. I feel like just saying what I said has helped. Sometimes it feels like the pressure of a volcano is building inside. It doesn't help that all the recent fighting on social media has, not quite triggered, but it has made me feel very similar emotions to everyone fighting. That's the best way I can explain it.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk
I hate to be back, but can everyone send me positive vibes. My mom recently had a major surgery, and things have been kinda stressful helping out more around the house. My siblings are helping, but I feel like my stress is getting to me. My cat also isn't feeling well. His medicine to help with the Urinary Crystals is also making him much more upset about getting touched. It might be a sensitivity thing. Please, what would help the most is good vibes sent to my mom and cat. I know that once they feel better I will feel better. I'm losing my mind with worry.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using MerNetwork mobile app
So I skip my class today, to come see my friend early because she won't be home when I'm off of school. She texted me when I'm leaving school and tells me not to come until 10:30 because she's needs to get as much sleep as possible before we take her cat to the vet. She stays up all night and sleeps all day. I'm tired of not being able to hang out with her except for a couple hours in the evening when she's off of work. I'm tired of being tired when she's wide awake.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
*Previously know as KellyMermaid*
I rarely post in this thread unless it's to support someone else but I have to admit I am feeling VERY anxious right now as Hurricane Irma comes barreling down my throat. I am in Naples, S. Florida on the gulf coast. Although I have been through 5 or 6 hurricanes while living here, nothing as huge and powerful as this one! Category 5 is CATASTROPHIC. I feel terrible for my friends in Miami, Lauderdale, Puerto Rico and Cuba. Please say a prayer for all of us here. Our power will be gone for who knows how long so you may not hear from us Florida Mers for awhile.![]()
I feel the same way. Although the worst possible thing has already happened to me. My cat, Rocky, had a stroke a few days ago and passed away on Tuesday. I stayed with him until the end. I'm just happy he didn't get stuck in pain and suffering while the Hurricane went through. Him passing away when he did was almost a blessing. I don't know how messed up I would have been to have him pass during the Hurricane. I live in an area that might get it's power up sooner because of the emergency services within walking distance. I will try to give any updates when I can.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using MerNetwork mobile app
Thanks Izzy. This is no regular storm though. It's circumference covers our whole state!
I created a thread called Natural Disaster Check in and Status Update.
There are fires in the west, flooding and damage in Texas, and 3 hurricanes in the Atlantic with Irma headed straight through Florida. I thought having a thread for us to let each other know we are alright might be helpful.
Sent from my LG-TP450 using MerNetwork mobile app
Bookmarks