Body Image in general and as a mer (share your story)

[Ophelia]

Ive been asked if I had an eating disorder many times, or even better, ACCUSED of having an eating disorder as if its something disgusting an contagious. And I also hate the back handed "compliments" and the attitude of "oh well you're SKINNY so you OBVIOUSLY don't know what its like to be insecure." >.>

[Mermaid Arianna]

I know how you feel Ophelia, everyone is always accusing me of being anorexic. My mom has been super worried about me since I became a vegetarian.I'm still eating, just not meat or fish. My cousin was hospitalized with anorexia so she is always freaked out and shoving food into my mouth. I wish people would stop it. I'm skinny not sick. And yes those back handed "compliments" are just great.

[Neria]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

[Mermaid Arianna]

embrace being tall. I'm not sure what you would say back, I'm 12 and 5'3 and still growing, regardless I'm still taller than most people at my school, and they ask me the same question. I haven't hit my growth spurt yet and I don't feel tall so I just say, "Why does the sun shine? Why does the earth spin?" stuff like that

[SilverSiren]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

Why not tell them "Well, because it's called genetics, I was meant to be this tall. All the famous super models are tall. It's good to be tall!"

[Mermaid Narina]

The thing that really bugs me is my height. I'm 13 years old and I'm about 5'9 or 5'10. I'm really not freakishly tall compared to adults, but most of the people at my school haven'y hit their growth spurt, so I tower over everyone. And it gets noticed. Every. Single. Day. And people ask me the stupidest things that just make me grit my teeth. "Why are you so tall?" is the most common one. Uh, gee, let me think about it... I DON'T KNOW! What do they expect me to say?!?! It is just sheer stupidity! People comment on every day. They aren't exactly making fun of me for it, which seems to make it worse because I can't call them out on it or else I will seem like the mean one. I want to just snap back at them, but I am known for being the nicest person at school and I don't really want to change that. I just don't know what to do, but it is driving me crazy and making me feel so concerned about my height. Any suggestions of what to say that isn't too rude, but will make people shut up?

i hate being tall too i used to subtly bend over to appear shorter, but i soon realised that it made me look introverted and awkward, and didnt actually make me look and shorter.
hang around tall people!! i hang around a group of tall guys (my school has mostly asains, who are all mostly short and petite), but when im around guys who are even taller than ME, it feel comfortable! remember to keep your shoulders back and walk confidently! there is sometimes a stereotype of tall/thin people being awkward or gangly, but if you hold yourself well, you are saying "im tall, and i love it", and it will make you so much more beautiful! My mum pointed out this girl in the shopping centre to me, and she was tall and thin like me, but she embraced it! She was wearing heeled boots and a skirt that showed off her legs (ive been insecure about my legs being too skinny for years), and she walked like a model on a runway. the thing is, her face was average looking, and her body was similar to mine, yet she was smiling and she looked 10x more beautiful than anyone else there.
People always say "embrace your body" and sometimes we forget that advice! remember, being tall means that people look up to you... literally
<3

[Mermaid Narina]

...You need to be less tall. Don't forget the "I wish I had bigger breasts". I'm normally the tallest person in all of my classes, but since I like to wear wedges it makes me even taller. Hey, I can't help it I love them. And since I'm in 9th grade, Im still taller than the boys. Not only this, but I have acne. Now, I hate it when people are all " omg a zit I"m going to die I've never had this before" and then they think my skin is fine because I wear concealor. Now, I started getting zits in fifth grade, so I assumed it would stop by now. ..... On the what I actually do, I showed a short video of me tail swimming, and everyone thought it was cool. One girl Cassidy, decided to start randomly saying hi to me throughout the next couple days.

I hate being tall (tallest out of all the girls mean its awkward trying to hug short people. and hey, i hug everyone). "i wish i had bigger breast"? i was once in a group with this girl called May, who was like "truth or dare? everyone has to say what their bra size is." she was looking at me while i said it, and it was the most embarrassing moment of my lie -.-
i struggle with acne too, just when i feel like im overcoming it, it decides to become immune to all the products i use :L
and when i started posting pictures of my tail on facebook, there were several people who thought it was strange, but as it happens, its the BEST conversation starter!!! i have had so many message from people asking about it ^.^ the positives will always outweigh the negatives!!!!
its hard moving isnt it :/ you can chat to me whenever! <3

[Kanti]

I'd love to be tall! Or at least, taller than I am now. It's really a pain when you can't reach shelves in
stores or even in your own house xD But at least in my house I'm allowed to climb on things to get
to it. I'd have never thought anyone would be made fun of for being tall, or at least, I'd never seen it
before o_o One kid in my highschool was HUGE! Probably 6 10" or somewhere around there, he almost
didn't fit through doors he was so tall! But everyone was always really nice to him and gave him high-
fives and stuff. He was in a different grade than me, though, so I never knew what people may have said
to him during class and stuff.
I once wanted to join a fashion show in highschool and I couldn't make the cut because I wasn't tall enough
): They tried to tell me I was great but they only had so many spaces and they basically had no problem in
telling me I was too short. It was pretty harsh, they didn't even soften the blow, but at least they were
being honest, so I'll give them that.

[Mermaid Margarete]

I once wanted to join a fashion show in highschool and I couldn't make the cut because I wasn't tall enough
): They tried to tell me I was great but they only had so many spaces and they basically had no problem in
telling me I was too short. It was pretty harsh, they didn't even soften the blow, but at least they were
being honest, so I'll give them that.

I'm actually a local model and get told ALL the time I'm too short with being 5'6" but if I was 5'7" I could walk for them. At first it drove me CRAZY cause I can wear 6 inch heels better than your average girl - I once won a jump rope contest in 4 inch heels! I gogo dance in 7 inch platforms! It's really dumb that people can make you feel bad for an inch! AN INCH! But all the designers I have/do walk for LOVE me. I have a lot of personality and comes out in my walking. I've come to realize tho, runway is just going to be something for fun, my true passion is for print - you get much better pictures working one-on-one with a photographer than walking emotionless down a runway XD The fashion world is very cruel and judging - looks are everything, but you have to remind yourself - not everyone is going to want your look, but someone will.

[Mermaid Azira]

That's terrible I hope you messed them up

If this happened to me those boys would have broken noses, and NEVER feel safe coming around me again. But I'm a really aggressive person with a very very short temper and I'm not afraid to take people down even tho I'm smaller then them most the time[/QUOTE]

Oh They know I'm the kind to fight. Last year this boy was hitting 1st graders or their sleds with a shovel and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him to knock it off. So there was a fist fight. I totally got out better. He ended up getting expelled, I didn't get in to much trouble.

But there were six of them and one of me. I managed to body flip one of them. (I worked on flipping people over the shoulder all summer, especially my brother.He hee)

[Mermaid Narina]

But there were six of them and one of me. I managed to body flip one of them. (I worked on flipping people over the shoulder all summer, especially my brother.)

KICKASS MERMAID COMING THROUGH!!! Youre awesome!!!

[AniaR]

I am glad to see this generated so much discussion

[Jadestone]

I'm late to the party but I just read this whole thread and want to give everyone a hug!! You're all beautiful mermaids <3

I've been struggling with body image issues of my own more than usual this summer/semester, I've always had the media-induced "oh I should be skinnier curvier taller etc" sort of hum in the back of my mind, but it got worse than usual lately. Since elementary school I was on several competitive sports teams, to the point where my sophemore-senior year I was playing varsity tennis, varsity ice hockey, and high-level travel club ice hockey. I'd play tennis for 3 hours, then head to the ice rink for an hour of off-ice conditioning followed by an hour and a half of on-ice practice almost every day for 3 years. In the tennis off season (there is no real off-season for ice hockey, practices are year-round) I was part of tech crew and spend 3 hours after school moving lumbar around.
Needless to say, I was in the BEST shape of my LIFE (even though it was a huge mental drain on me, looking back) and I still had body image issues.
I moved to college and suddenly was getting nowhere near that level of exercise every day Even joining club sports (ice hockey (HUGE downstep in level though, and only once or twice a week) and Quidditch (yep, you read that right)) I hardly have time to exercise with all the work required for my two science majors. Even when I do have time, I'm unmotivated to do anything but lay around. I've lost almost all my muscle mass and gained weight, especially in areas I was already sensitive about even when I was fit (thighs, butt, stomach).

I've realized these past few weeks just how unhappy I get if I'm not doing something athletic. Maybe because it was a huge part of my life for so long, or maybe because it's one of the best releases for my mental frustrations. Since this week has been break I've managed to work up the motivation to go to the gym twice and I felt so much better each time, but I just don't have the time to go there when classes are in session. Sigh. I don't like feeling unhealthy and I guess I'm mostly bothered by the fact I can no longer do things I used to be able to with little effort, not to mention being able to easily brush away "oh I weigh to much/etc"-type thoughts with the knowledge that I'm active and in shape.

This is something i'm still working on, but I'm hoping that maybe I'll figure out how to squeeze in gym time somewhere, or at least time to do stationary exercises in my room or something. Not to mention eating better, though that can be inordinately difficult with cafeteria food x_x


Love to all <3

[melbel1023]

I have a lot of body image problems myself. I have always been overweight, and I have a mother that constantly reminds me that I would be "prettier" if I lost x-amount of weight. My brother and father are really tall with fast metabolisms, and hardly ever put on any weight. My mom has been trying different diets to lose weight my whole life.
I've dealt with shifting weight and confidence as far back as I can remember...
When I was 13/14, I found I was nearly 200 lbs. I started working out, and got down to 150 ish by the time I turned 15. By the time I finished high school, I gained it all back. I had a boyfriend who left me for a skinnier and prettier girl, and every time I tried to meet new guys they would tell me they weren't "interested" in anything "serious," then shortly get a girlfriend.

And I've tried losing my weight - So far, I've been able to keep 20 lbs off, but I'm still overweight.
Whenever I meet new people, my anxiety kicks in - Making me think awful stuff, assumptions that plague my thoughts like "Do they think I'm the 'fat' friend? Do I stick out in this group? Do they take me seriously, despite my looks?"
I try to overcompensate my anxiety with talking constantly, then it gets worse.
Its hard losing weight while going to school fulltime. I spend my free time filming or trying to make money on my etsy, or trying to get enough sleep.

I've been bullied, I've been discriminated against, I've been judged due to my weight my whole life.
And the funny thing - I EAT HEALTHY. I haven't drank soda or juice in YEARS, I only eat fast food when I am traveling with my dogs (and can't go inside a restaurant), I don't eat red meats, and I'm slowly becoming a vegetarian.
When people see my body, they automatically think I eat crap, or that I always eat, or that I eat too much. I really don't!

And its because of these thoughts or fears of my anxiety (Which can escalate to stress-rashes or eye-twitches if really bad) that I refuse to really be social. I can't stand being in a room of strangers because all I can think of is how to avoid being thought of as a loser, so I avoid social events almost entirely.
Example, tonight I had a party I was invited too - I knew only 2 people going out of 20-something. I decided to stay home, not wanting to embarrass myself or feel like piece of crap.
For my birthday this last week, I went to a dance club and invited several people - about 25 said they would come - Only 3 showed up, one of which was my boyfriend who I drove there.

Its painful. Incredibly painful sometimes.

[melbel1023]

Also - This was posted on Mertailor's page, and I was pretty offended by it.
http://www.curvymagazine.com/fashion...sized-mermaid/
They whole "first plus sized" thing always ticks me off in articles - Because their definition of "plus sized" really only follows dress-sized ideas of plus sized.
And even then - These are not the "first" curvy mermaids! Other figures don't often get articles because they aren't the media's idea of "sexy"
Meanwhile, thin and juvenile-in-appearance are the "ideal"

[Elle]

I used to weigh 65 kg (143lb) and that was reasonably average for my 5'7". My mum was and still is my biggest critic. always telling me, I shouldn't eat that or should try and be healthier. All cos of my little pot belly (i think women should have that little pot belly, it's sexy!)
In 2010 I got very sick and was hospitalized. During this time I went down to 50 kg (110lb). Once I got better my weight skyrocketed over night and my skin suffered for it.
I've never been able to shift what I gained.
I now weigh 85 kg (187lb) I'm considered overweight and I couldn't care less. I think it's womanly and gorgeous. I will continue to order a large steak at a restaurant, enjoy ice-cream AND be healthy!
I love how I look, my fiance loves how I look so I am happy!

being comfortable with what you look like is the main thing. exude confidence in how you look and be happy! Who gives a shit about everyone else. They're only making comments cos they wish that they could be as happy about themselves as you are with yourself. Rudeness is one of the ugliest qualities a person can possess, what's the point of being "perfect" if your ugly the moment you open your mouth.

[roamingmer]

Healthy eating and healthy body are the most important aspects; and learning to havea degree of self reliance; i am happy to be me. Whoever me is.
When doing basic training as fitness instructor we were taught some rules; one i strongly remember was related to starting work with clients. Your metabolism will take time to change; overnight miracles are often terribly unhealthy. Exercise enough to break a sweat for minimum of 30minutes 3 times a week. Keep at this regularly and for most people the metabolism will start changing after week 6-8. That is a lot of committment and is not for everyone. And it wont turn you into a supermodel. It will make you healthy and at your genetic best; i know many Plus sized instructors with beautiful curves and pot bellies. They dont care because they are healthy and will kick ass against anyone daring to say different
That inner fighting spirit is what defines you.
As a side note i spent age 9-14 being bullied about who i was. In my soul i naturally understood it was due to their insecurities about who i was (new kid in large house, little money, could run fast and never fight back). Throughout school i had maybe 3-5 good friends (lost contact years ago); learned to be strong and now Walk barefoot in the snow. Just be yourself!

[roamingmer]

No not a mer - but a guy on a bike. But a story which i hope helps those mers who are body image conscious
http://www.adventure-journal.com/201...tober-10-2012/
A 300 pound guy taking part in cyclocross competitions. Now that demonstrates inner strength!

[AniaR]

Also - This was posted on Mertailor's page, and I was pretty offended by it.
http://www.curvymagazine.com/fashion...sized-mermaid/
They whole "first plus sized" thing always ticks me off in articles - Because their definition of "plus sized" really only follows dress-sized ideas of plus sized.
And even then - These are not the "first" curvy mermaids! Other figures don't often get articles because they aren't the media's idea of "sexy"
Meanwhile, thin and juvenile-in-appearance are the "ideal"

It bothered me too, though I don't think it was anyone's intention to offend. First of all, It bothers me in general when new comers to the mer game claim to be the "first" in anything. Mostly because it generally sounds like they're placing themselves above other people when they do it. Obviously, we all know these ladies aren't the first. But the other thing that bothered me is they don't look plus size to me! (though I believe in the fashion world plus size starts at size 6 or something). I also find it very misleading the way the article says "the amazing artist who worked with __________" because many of those places use Thom Shouse more than mertailor, but he often allows people to believe he made tails he didn't. For instance, never correcting people when they say (or ask) he made the tail for Lady Gaga's You and I video.

[Elle]

I also find it very misleading the way the article says "the amazing artist who worked with __________" because many of those places use Thom Shouse more than mertailor, but he often allows people to believe he made tails he didn't. For instance, never correcting people when they say (or ask) he made the tail for Lady Gaga's You and I video.

I thought Thom made Gaga's tail for "gagaween" and Eric made the one for "You and I"? The fluke in "You and I" look more mertailor than tailman that's all. not trying to defend his actions past or present, just making sure