Body Image in general and as a mer (share your story)

[AptaMer]

I come from a very hairy family. Resulting in me to shave my stomach,unibrow and other places that are not the "norm", other females in my family have this curse aswell. As a person it does not bother me, my boyfriend is very understanding about it since he has hair issues as well. But as a mer Im a bit afraid to go out this coming summer.

Hi Dacora,

There's a procedure called laser permanent hair removal. I wonder if that might be a help for you? Don't know how much it costs, though.

[MerEmma]

It's pretty expensive. I'm getting it done within the next two years or so, ish, but I can have it done for basically free thanks to a barter program my mom is on.

[Usagi]

Boyfriend said that his mom had it done, but that it didn't work. The hair grew back.

[MerEmma]

It depends a lot on who you do it with. You get what you pay for (in most scenarios, although not all).

[SeaGlass Siren]

really? my friends and i used to make a lot of "going to hell for.." jokes. they placed me as glutton xD

[Mermaid Danielle]

Raina, you look fantastic! Congratulations on achieving what you have! This might sound a bit weird, but I'm proud of you for keeping at it for so long- so many people would have just given up. Keep up the great work, you are a huge inspiration!

[Mermaid Danielle]

I have been sick my whole 12 year old year. First, right after my birthday, I got really bad mono. (I missed four months of school.) Then as soon as I was getting better, I got a concussion. It being my fourth concussion, I was really sick the whole summer. I could not walk with out falling down and crazy dizzy. Just getting better now, but a whole year of being sick and not being able to run everyday I got plump. My tummy really sticks out, and I don't have a six pack anymore. Been trying to work of my extra weight but I am so out of shape and I can't run very much because I am still recovering and my school work takes ages. Its unhealthy. Even though its the first time in my life I have ever been on the chart for weight.

Just keep swimming, Azira. I know it's hard with a concussion and it feels like forever until you are even semi-yourself again, but you have to keep at it. It's been four, almost five, years since my brain injury and I'm still working around some of the effects of it. It gets better, much better, but you have to keep at it, all the time.

If you are struggling with your school work, and/or the time it takes to complete it, talk to your doctor about cognitive rehabilitation therapy. It helps rebuild/construct new neural pathways in your brain (which may have been damaged with the injury), especially those referring to the brain's higher functions.

Best of luck to you! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me!

[Mermaid Miel]

As a kid I didnt really care about my Body image until High School. In a Teens Camp I met my bff and suddenly I was fighting a war on two fronts.

On one side there was me. I had the perfect BMI according to my doctor and would look perfect as a model, but at 170cm tall I was too short and I always felt that my body looked more stick insect then sexy.

Then there was my bff. Next to her exercise regime in HS I looked so lazy I was sloth-like. She was a dancer, did 3 different styles/classes at once with a dance class a day back then. (Ballet, Irish-dancing and Cheer-leading.) But her mum would constantly rag on her for being over-weight. This on top of the bullying she'd get at her Girls-only high school.
To combat this, I'd take to complimenting her gorgeous breasts, I'd always wanted bigger boobs. (still do.) She'd laugh and compliment my cute butt. It helped.

B's gained in weight and strength since then, She doesnt look obese to me because she carries it so well, her legs are still toned and her breasts are F cup, but she's gorgeous and she's finally found out the cause to her constant weight gain. (stress.)
She's happier in her own skin now, having met a Celt who is in love with her and her body, and having researched her nordic ancestry. She's Beautiful by her own standards.

My weight yo-yoed a bit between what I would consider healthy and underweight. Usually due to me not eating enough when unemployed. Luckily I now have a job and a healthier bodyweight. My breasts still look small, but are now a size 10DD! (32-34DD) This is not due to Plastic surgery but to me finally gaining enough weight!
All the girls at work talk about going to the gym, diets and getting tan. I talk bout eating more, gaining weight and wearing the right sunsreen. lol.
I finally feel sexy... well almost.
I still hate how hairy my legs get, but since I started swimming in a tail I dont mind as much. ^.^

[AptaMer]

Makeup Art Cosmetics is a company that has always like to be on the edgy side of the industry. They've just started a new ad campain featuring a woman bodybuilder that will probably cause a lot of controversy among the women who think only certain body types should be used in high fashion advertising. I personally think it's a great blow for freedom from the tyranny of the fashion police.



http://jezebel.com/mac-jelena-abbou/

What do you think?

[New York Mermaid]

I had no idea you ever felt this way Lanai. I think your amazingly beautiful and your so confident in the pictures of you in your tail. i am having the same issue of eating my feelings it's hard to control.

Thank you love,

Im confident because I know im beautiful, and girl your beautiful too. Ive been doing wonderfully in less eating my feelings and putting more into working out Im into the whole just dace/dance central craze. Ive been very aware of my weight (it took 165lbs to kick me in the head) and im working hard to make myself feel even better and look even more amazing im my tail hehe. Lol when im angry/ sad/ depressed i go take a walk or work out do some pull ups. lol Music is the best motivation I tell you . Go on girl do your thing and be happy with yourself.!

And those who feel that they have bad acne scars and such, Im going out of my confort zone here, this is me without any makeup, my face is this red because i get bad flareups and you can clearly see my acne scars.


And Here's the after photo after 15 minutes of putting makeup on.


Big difference aint it. I use Kat Von D makeup. Ive tried proactive, retin-A and acouple of other things, nothing really works well but Ive been using this algae face toner and its been helping with less flareups and the scars are starting to fade a bit.

[Mermaid Danielle]

Thank you! I am doing much better now!
I did go to cognitive therapy. The lady who did it was well.. not the best. Then we went to this new doctor that seemed really woo woo. It turns out he was really good. Although the stuff he did was crazy I'm almost back to 100%! I just cannot get another concussion. Which means no more nordic jumping for me. Luckily I can still skate ski. I am also far stronger then I was. I can now comfortably skate a 15k, and my core is coming back. To gain back my strength I have been doing a lot of swimming, although I cannot hold my breath for very long as cutting oxygen off from my brain would not be very smart.

I'm glad to hear you are doing so well!

[Mr909]

Okay, I want to chip in here:
Firstly, shortly after my initial discovery of the mermaid hobby/subculture, I had considered it but threw that right out the window mostly because of my body. I am 210 pounds, BMI overweight, and I have a LOT of hair on my chest. Like, I've gotten used to it, but it frightens me every now and again. :P
I never took pride in my body and don't plan to anytime soon. I'm a mind kinda guy.
But for all the mermaid gals (and guys) out there, I want to say: You are all beautiful. I believe that your mission to be loving and supportive of others is revolutionary, and I believe that in a few years, I might have the privilege of saying that I was watching this wave long before it broke along the shore of mainstream culture. What you do for yourselves and for each other is noble in the highest respect, and I'm glad you guys are out there. You give hope to a lot of people, not just those who are into it.
Society is so caught up with notions of "conventional beauty" that it sickens me. I hope that I might help enact some sort of change along those lines. I believe that you folks already do.

[Sammi Ray]

As a mother i went from a 10 (UK size) to a size 16... my eczema flared up all over my face and hands. My legs are scared from scratching, have massive stretch marks all over my stomache and every body used to comment on my face and it got me down, until one i thought you no what? F**K IT! I am ME, im not here to impress everybody, if people say things then let them! Yes i have a jelly belly but since i stopped worrying my eczema went and i have been so much more happier :-) sod what anyone else thinks regardless of how you look. You are you and you can change you, they will always be the same. I will gladly post my body. I am proud to be who i am, and so should you all. :-) so embrace what you are, people will notice a smile and see how happy you are. I am now a size 12 :-) because i changed my attitude and became at peace with myself.

[Mermaid Dottie]

I wouldn't trade my squirt for anything, but I do wish I hadn't gained so much while I was pregnant with him. If I'd gained much more I could've gotten gestational diabetes.
I was 210lbs one week before I had him. Fast-forward 5 months and I'm still over 200 lbs. And, yes, I am nursing him. (Though my milk supply has dropped horridly in the last two weeks; only 6 oz a day when it should be that per feeding!)
My knees crack and pop every time I walk up a set of stairs. My back has begun to ache in new and incredibly awkward places. I'm so low energy, and I really have no excuse, since my baby sleeps all night and takes two naps a day for a couple hours apiece.
Our family Christmas Present was supposed to be a couple's pass to the rec center, but I don't know if that will happen, since it appears Medicaid didn't pay all of my doctors bills from the pregnancy.

On the plus side, I have figured out some interesting ways to (hopefully, fins crossed) supplement our income, which may be enough to help pay off those med bills and possibly get me to FL for Merpalooza this year. Once the bills are paid, then I get my Rec center pass.
After that it's just a matter of finding a regular sitter. (My sister and Niece have already volunteered.)

My goal isn't a weight goal, though. It's getting back to the size I was when I got married a year and a half ago. 35 inches around my middle, and 45 around my hips. (my bust will be whatever size it wants, I'm not really concerned about that.) 5 inches apiece.

I should also point out that I LOVE my Merternity photo shoot. I did gain much more weight than I should have, but I also felt beautiful that day. To float along with my seven months along baby in my belly was as sweet as sunlight on sugar-water.

[Mermaid Dottie]

Okay, I want to chip in here:
Firstly, shortly after my initial discovery of the mermaid hobby/subculture, I had considered it but threw that right out the window mostly because of my body. I am 210 pounds, BMI overweight, and I have a LOT of hair on my chest. Like, I've gotten used to it, but it frightens me every now and again. :P
I never took pride in my body and don't plan to anytime soon. I'm a mind kinda guy.
But for all the mermaid gals (and guys) out there, I want to say: You are all beautiful. I believe that your mission to be loving and supportive of others is revolutionary, and I believe that in a few years, I might have the privilege of saying that I was watching this wave long before it broke along the shore of mainstream culture. What you do for yourselves and for each other is noble in the highest respect, and I'm glad you guys are out there. You give hope to a lot of people, not just those who are into it.
Society is so caught up with notions of "conventional beauty" that it sickens me. I hope that I might help enact some sort of change along those lines. I believe that you folks already do.

As Much as I appreciate your comments about the rest of us, I'm afraid you haven't absorbed the message.
We are all mers because we WANT to be. As Pebbles just put it, "Sod what anyone else thinks..."
Don't throw something out the window because you don't think you would look good to other people.
I first donned a tail to improve my self image (and to help me cope with some trauma in my life) and that's exactly what it does.
Sure, sittin around the house all day cleaning up after a five month old and a 26-year-old, I don't feel too pretty. But every time I don my tail I become someone else. I'm weightless, floating, twirling, peeking out of the water to give my baby a kiss and then back underneath to do a corkscrew or flip, just enjoying the wings that God made for me out of a zillion hydrogen molecules, and 2 zillion oxygen ones.

[Mermaid Miel]

Sure, sittin around the house all day cleaning up after a five month old and a 26-year-old, I don't feel too pretty. But every time I don my tail I become someone else. I'm weightless, floating, twirling, peeking out of the water to give my baby a kiss and then back underneath to do a corkscrew or flip, just enjoying the wings that God made for me out of a zillion hydrogen molecules, and 2 zillion oxygen ones.

That has to be the Best description of mermaiding I have Ever read. Can I quote you on that.... regularly?

[Mermaid Dottie]

That has to be the Best description of mermaiding I have Ever read. Can I quote you on that.... regularly?

Absolutely! And Thank you. I can produce some lovely verbage when I get inspired.

[Phoenix Mermaid]

Let me start by saying I love this forum! There are so many informative & useful threads. Everyone is so willing to share and is nice. This feedback on this thread has encouraged me to share my story. You all inspire me by sharing your hardships. I’m a shy person and I keep much to myself. But it’s hard to just hold everything in and never talk about it. I feel like your all so supportive though and never judgmental. Most of my family & close friends don’t know half the things wrong with me.
I’m only 22 and I have so many health problems I feel extremely unhealthy. When in reality many of these things where there to begin with.
I was born with Ladds Band Syndrome (basically: folds in the intestine & duodenum that partially or completely block the system) and Intestinal Mal-rotation (my guts were backwards). I had complete obstruction to my stomach and was unable to eat anything! Unfortunately my father & mother didn’t understand how a completely healthy baby couldn’t eat and would only throw up so I wasn’t taken to the hospital till I was about 5 months old. I starved for 5 months and should not be alive. I was all bone. My grandma has old photos of me as a baby and I look like a little skeleton : (
I had an exploratory procedure, appendectomy, and my intestines were cut & completely rearranged.
It left me with an ugly scare on my stomach.


It bothers, but not as bad as it use to. I guess I’m finally use to it. My stomach has never been flat & never will be. I’ve always had the dent my from my scare, it’s pretty much a permanent roll in my stomach. Whenever I throw up the scare tissue behind the scare gets pulled. It feels like I have something sewn in that spot and someone its yanking on it very hard. It hurts so bad.
After my surgery, the nanny who was sitting me was lying to my father about feeding me. I starved for 3 more months. The nanny told my father I was already eating solid foods like eggs. Once my grandma was able to visit she found all my baby food hidden around the house and she said I DID NOT KNOW HOW To eat! Needless to say my insides are pretty much ruined. My stomach does not digest food due to all the damage. Many times I go on full liquid diets because I’m in so much pain form food building up in my stomach. I cannot pass it afterwards either very well. My liquid diet even has more restrictions though, and I’m only allowed to “eat” thing that are completely liquidy, like water, but not pudding (because its too “thick”) I’m either always hungry, but my stomach feels so much better, or I’m eating food and I feel terrible and my stomach just keeps getting filled & filled. And then of course I take tons and tons of meds to help with digestion and a special abrasive I drink to help scrape my insides out. Once the nanny was found out, I was taken to the hospital again and they gave me really…idk “rich” baby food I guess. They fattened me up Very quickly….
I have a few skin condition: dermatitis, eczema and I have a problem with the elasticity in my skin. So after the rich baby food my butt got kind of big. And I’ve had these stretch marks since I was a baby. They don’t look too bad in this pic but they are much more visible in real life (I’m always trying to hide them).

I have 3 birthmarks; one is right on my face. This is something that has always had a big effect on my body image. My hairline is not even, and my forehead is not even because my birthmark is a little bubbled. And the hair that grows out of my birthmark is extremely coarse compared to the rest of the hair growing out of my head.

When I was 16, I got the chickenpox. Everyone at school made me feel so terrible and disgusting for getting it (I even had the vaccination for it, but had never caught chickenpox when I was little). One student call me a “chickenpox infested freak”. It devastated me so much. I even heard my volleyball coach tell her children to stay away from me because I might still be contagious (pox had gone away at that point, but I had gotten one in my eye and it left a red mark for a month or so). Right after that, I developed, well I have no idea what it is but I call it a “living scar” on each armpit.
It doesnt look very bad at all in this pic compared to when it flairs up.
I know its gross, sorry if its too much. It’s getting grosser though…
The scars flair up and get very irritated and sore. They peel, peel & peel. Then it dries up, cracks, and bleeds. It is so painful, I’ve tried so many prescriptions and creams and ointments, but nothing helps. At one point I got a prescription that helps and it completely stopped the flair ups and it went away over a period of about 6 years. But then about 6 months ago I had another flair up and the scars came back, but the prescription no longer works. It was only a few years ago that I was able to start wearing deodorant without the scars breaking out. This has had a big effect on me as well. I’m in AZ & it gets up into the 100s in the summer time. When I was in high school we had a 3 day dance camp in our school gym with no A/C and it was 8 hours long. Obviously dancing like that your going to be very gross and sweaty afterwards. At that point I could not wear deodorant at all without breaking out and causing bleeding. The upper class girls made fun of me because I smelled bad at camp (who wouldn’t after dancing 8 hours in a 100 degree gym). And told me I needed to wear deodorant. Me wearing deodorant meant agonizing pain and not being able to move my arms because it moves the skin.
I was in a car accident that messed my hips up, and the labrum of each hip are tearing. One side needs surgery. This makes it very hard for me to exercise because movement causes friction and tearing. My hips have been messed up so long that my pelvic bone is rotated on one side and it causes faster wear down on the femur head of the hip bone. The muscles have also formed rather strongly around the pelvic bone so they actually hold it in the incorrect position. The Dr. has a hard time adjusting it & it usually rotates back in a day or so. I have popping hip syndrome too. And sometimes the nerves get pinched and my entire leg goes numb for hours. The longer it last the more it hurts. There’s nothing in the way of painkillers that helps either.

I have asthma, and my lungs are very week. Mermaiding will help me with breath holding so I’m excited to see my progress after awhile. And I have a kidney stone.

I also have a mental disorder. (I don’t wish to disclose what it is because it has a particularly bad stigma, and most people who find out about it never treat me the same again): This I think actually has the most effect on my body image. As it makes up much of my personality, it also effects at times how I view myself and the things around me. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealth with. And continue too. I will be medicating for life (should be). And with losing my health insurance I can no long get the meds I need. Without my meds I can’t function well. At time it feels like my mind is degrading and it is very embarrassing. I’ve seen the quality of my work deplete greatly at my job and I’m not even doing anything differently or new. I have a harder time with numbers now and my ability to spell is going down hill. Simple words I could spell easily as a child I now have to look up. One day I forgot how to spell my fiance’s name and I could not for the life of me figure it out. I sat there forever trying to spell his name and finally had to get on my phone and look it up. I’m to the point where I’m about to quit my job, even though I actually like my job and enjoy the work.
At one point I was put on a new prescription and developed Tardive Dyskinesia (a condition in which you have repetitive & involuntary body movement & spasms). It was awful! I could not stop my tongue from rolling under itself or from sticking out of my mouth. I seriously couldn’t even push my tongue in my mouth or close my mouth over it. One day at work I ended up watching the store by myself and my tongue started spazing. I couldn’t talk and I had to cover my face whenever customers came in because my tongue just hung out of my mouth. I had one guy ask me if I was okay, I could barely even reply to him. I was so embarrassed so I simple mumbled “speech disorder” to get him going on his way. I had spasms in my jaw and it would clench repeatedly. My lower jaw started moving from side to side and I couldn’t stop it. The meds caused me to fall down the stairs. I didn’t slip or miss a step either, I literally just fell down them. (i found out later the meds can cause that right after waking up so your support to sit for a while before getting up) I had tremors and I finally started having uncontrolled movement in my arms so I had to stop the script immediately. And they couldn’t even ween me off so I experience bad withdrawal for a week.
I’m a little chunky but I don’t mind my curves. Well actually im stubby lol. I was a bit heavier when I was younger but it kind of leveled off one summer. I’m very short 4’11”. And with my weight and height, my BMI is actually overweight, even though I’m tiny. When I was younger my weight was one of my bigger body image issues. But as I got older I saw that there are many types of beautiful. It does not bother much anymore.
All that being said. That’s my story. Lots of things that cause image issues. I haven’t begun mermaiding on a public level yet, I’m still in the “practice” & getting together phase. But it still has an effect, as at times I become greatly discouraged. It’s all a lot of stress in general, but I’m hoping I can take mermaiding far enough to support myself, and quit my job. I’m tired of hecktack situations and stress. Swimming is my choice of exercise & it is much easier on my body (: and it its an overall great workout and I seem to respond well to it. It also is a great release for me so mermaiding as a career seems perfect. I just hope I don’t let my insecurities stop me before I’m started. I’m sorry this is soooo long but I appreciate the opportunity to share it all.

@MerEmma
I LOVE your hair! It is beautiful. (: When I was little and my hair was short it look very much like yours. This is what it looked like when I got older and it grew out ^_^

[Phoenix Mermaid]

ok well I haven't figured out the photo upload thing i guess. Sorry the photos aren't there for you to see what I'm talking about.

[-Annwyn-]

With IPL (LASER Hair Removal) it takes around 6 sessions on the same area for the hair to stop growing back. And the darker your hair is, the better the effect is going to be.
Do make sure you do and see a licensed Esthetician and be prepared to pay around $100 a session. Some Estheticians will have a package deal (i.e: 6 sessions for the price of 5). And as far as pain is concerned, it's like getting snapped with a rubber band, so it's not that bad.