B!TC# IT OUT!

[Thalassa]

I think mostly she's afraid I'll decide to give up my job as a teacher to do this, and end up broke and homeless or something. She knows there are other performers, she's not very complimentary of them and tends to remind me that they are the "few." In her opinion, wanting to be a professional mermaid is on the same level of realism as wanting to be a movie star (i.e.: foolish, don't give up your day job).

And let's face it, others do think we're weird sometimes. I think she worries about my reputation (she's worried I won't ever find a guy who fits with my religious views AND accepts the mermaid thing, she's also worried that being a mermaid will negatively impact the way my employers see me), but also worried about hers.

It's just frustrating, as this isn't the first thing I've wanted to do that she's tromped on. If it isn't a typical "day job," she's not into it. It's sad, because my little sister is just like me and my mom is the same way with her. She also won't let my sister spend "too much" time with me, because she's worried "about what I might get her into." As if talking about Ren Faire and mermaids was like dealing drugs or something! I don't get it, because she's an incredibly creative person, she used to sing and be very into drama...I can only think that she was told all of this as a kid, maybe she was hurt and now she's sort of trying to pass on the "wisdom?"

[MermaidBrittany]

Are you kidding?? She won't let your sister spend time with you because of "what you might get her into?" You wouldn't think you're a hardcore druggie/alcoholic thats a bad role model!! That makes absolutely zero sense. I think you should be the one to spend the most time with her since you are following your dreams, open minded, and not giving up, which is very inspirational all together!

But about your job issue, I think teaching and mermaiding go great together! What a perfect way to reach out to kids about conservation? (or whatever you are into about the ocean) Especially since you would be great with kids and can transfer your skills over into making kids aware.

Wow thats frustrating just thinking about it :/ I hope you can make her "see the light" and appreciate what you do. Hopefully your persistence will make her see.

[Mermaidmechanic]

Bah, I know that feeling all too well. I have a cousin I love dearly but is burdened with an unreasonable amount of responsibility. I always offer to take her places to do things that might help her relax from the anxious environment of being responsible for her 5 younger siblings, one of whom is special needs. Meanwhile, her mother goes out to movies and dinner with her husband (whose morals are quite twisted) and leaves the poor girl alone for hours caring for the children. Her mother wont allow me to spend time with her because she insists I'm a bad influence (due to my giant back tattoo, my love for LARP, affinity towards cartoons, and fascination with mermaid stuff/ mythology). This is frustrating because I knew her when she was a teen/ young adult. She was a stripper, involved in drugs, and generally not a very good person. She had once even tried to extort my father by telling him she would tell everyone he raped her (a falsity of course) if he didn't give her money. This was probably the most traumatizing thing my father had ever faced as he was as good natured and honest as people come. Of course her ploy failed due to the fact that she was stupid enough to say this with witnesses around. Anyway, she recently found religion and now she thinks shes all high and mighty. How annoying is it to be told by someone like that that I am a bad influence? I have never drank alcohol, I've never touched drugs, I don't smoke, and I'm a highly successful and respected mechanic in the military. How is that a bad influence?

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ that's some pretty fucked up logic :|

[Mermaid Margarete]

I work for a small company so I have very few coworkers. Basically two superiors and 3 coworkers. One of my coworkers makes me HATE my job. She's nosy, bossy and finds ONE thing to do - makes it last ALL day and then says -I- do nothing cause I do get things done in a timely manner (while handling 90% of our customers) SO I have more "down time" (whereas she won't take any customers cause she's TOO busy with her ONE thing) and don't do EVERYTHING LITTLE EFFING THING so she (heaven forbid) has something else to do besides her ONE thing.
She gets snippy and short and I can't stand her for the most part! My boss is well aware of the situation but has basically told me to deal cause that coworker is "set in her ways" and even tho she's super slow, she's thorough.
I just canNOT wait to get a new job!! I'm under appreciated and I can't stand being bossed around like I'm her assistant when she has the same job position as I do...

[MermaidBrittany]

Im sorry Its so hard to work with people sometimes. And I know I would be fairing much worse if i was in your position, I would have probably already been gone! Aha. Its rather ridiculous that your boss is't doing anything. What other job are you planning on getting?

[Mermaid Margarete]

I've almost lost it a few times...I'm getting less and less tolerant of her behavior... I'm going to slip if I don't get out of here soon...

My resume is actually in a pile to be considered for a contract position at Amazon. It's not the best (simply cause it's a contract) but it pays more and is closer to where I live AND it's not my current job T_T *fingercrossed* I get that interview

[MermaidBrittany]

Sorry she is making your work miserable. Hopefully they look at it soon! Good luck with your bad situation!

[MermaidSaku]

Thalassa my family is the same way and alot of the time i feel like i won't make it but honestly if my family believes that growing up means giving into reality and never achieving your dreams then their minds are pretty twisted. I have been away for a bit thinking about philosophically about my life. I came to realize that if it makes my family freak out that i am a mermaid and a Gothic youtuber it just shows how much power i hold deep down. So if your mother shakes in her boots a little because your reaching your goals little by little take a look at the powers you hold from within as a mermaid princess.

[Azurin Luna]

I cut the top of my thumb with a cheese slicer... now I can't swim for a few weeks until it's healed Cut of quite a bit with it too...

[Ariel-Starfish]

I cut the top of my thumb with a cheese slicer... now I can't swim for a few weeks until it's healed Cut of quite a bit with it too...

autch!

[Mermaid_Aurora]

This "rant" is going to be a bit long, so I apologize.. I'm going to be sharing some sensitive and personal information, but this is something I feel like I need to talk about.

I have been dealing with bullying and cyber bullying for a while now, and it is not a case of hitting the ignore/block button. This was on another website, I was a part of a community there. I wished I could simply block the person, and I have, but it simply did not work. Besides, by the time I actually need to block someone, it's already too late. The damage they have dealt to make me feel like I need to block them is done and it will hurt emotionally for a while and I'm not one of those "I don't give a crap" people. I wish I was.

The people doing the bullying, and the one person who did most the bullying, had multiple accounts and I had no idea what they were until it was too late, were in deep with the community, and were good friends with my best friends. I could not avoid them, as they always knew where I was and seemed to like showing up in places where I cant block them, and attacking me. Sometimes I'd stick up for myself, sometimes I'd leave, but with my self esteem issues, regardless of what I did, it always did a heavy emotional toll. It was borderline stalking. They tore friendships from me, threatened me, made me feel even more worthless than I normally feel. I dealt with it for a year, trying as hard as I could to hide from them, but no matter where I went the bullies always somehow found me. It felt like they made a sport out of emotionally torturing me. They used things going on with me emotionally in my life, and just about any information for that matter (probably info they got from my other friends) and used that as their ammunition. They knew /everything/ about me. I tried ignoring it, I really did, but I have stress problems among other things.. So it is really easy to push me over the edge. Now I've lost about 90% of my friends, the bullying has stopped because I finally hid somewhere successfully (so far), and I'm the loneliest I have ever felt in my life but hopefully now I can rebuild what they took away from me..

I have yet to receive an apology from anyone even though they supposedly have one written up, and another is even using the excuse "My abusive husband made me do it" though I never got the apology I was promised, and they continued to bully me even after her husband was in jail, which I HELPED with, even after everything she put me through, so I guess that's the thanks I get and a good deed doesn't matter to a dedicated bully.

I am also having trouble getting my career established.. I want to be a mermaid badly, I want to be a model, and all that wonderful stuff, but I have no support. My family hates the idea of me becoming a model, and have told me specifically that they wish I would just forget about it. They say I'm not pretty enough, not tall enough, not skinny enough, and there's "too many beautiful women competing for the same job". They also wont support it, because my mother (who failed at everything she ever tried because she was an alcoholic and refused to dedicate herself to anything) tried and failed, and they don't want me to get discouraged and quit, as if its a guarantee that's what I'll do.

I can't get a job, I have tried the past... I dunno, 3, 4 years? on and off, trying to get a job with no success. I tried selling artwork and doing art commissions with no success, I tried making various different forms of arts and crafts and selling them with no success, I tried selling various other products with no success. I even tried tending to peoples gardens and pets while they're on vacation.. Getting employed didn't work, and being self employed didn't work, and I'm STILL trying to no success. I have photographer friends, I know people who could help me get into the model/entertainer business easily, if I just had the stuff I needed to get started, but I need money for that. I made a donation pool, and posted it on every website I could think of on every account I have, and sent it to all my remaining friends and my entire family, but I can't get any of them to help me. I've asked everyone I know to please share, that it would help me because I can't afford advertising, but everyone is telling me no, ignoring me, telling me that its a stupid idea, and telling me that I don't deserve help. "Stop being lazy and get a job, you're no better than anyone else, no one is going to give you their hard earned money when you could get it yourself" when I have been anything but lazy, I have done EVERYTHING I can to no prevail. All I asked was a /little/ help.. I don't believe that's too much to ask.. And these are friends and family I am talking about.. People who should already want to help..

My family (the members I live with) is in debt. They're having trouble paying off the house and credit cards, and everyone except me is on expensive medications and disabled. Only one person works, the rest are living off retirement or social security. We have pets to take care of, and we have to be very careful with the price of groceries. We are a 5 person household, 6 when my brother is here on the weekends. My dad use to help every now and then, but he has been in and out of work the past year, declared bankruptcy, is almost entirely unable to make rent, and is about to lose his car. My significant other is also trying to save money to finish school, and move closer to me so we can finally get married. I want to be able to have my dream career and be of some help financially, but one of the only methods of accomplishing this I have left, I don't have any support with whatsoever other than my significant other.... I'm out of idea's on what I could do. They don't even know I want to be a mermaid and am trying to save for a tail, because if I do, they'll just tell me how stupid it is and that I need to stop.

[seagirls626]

Aurora, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Your post made me cry because it was so sad and heart breaking...
I am so sorry that you have been having a really tough time, but just remember that bullies are people who have made many mistakes and don't know how to deal with them. They are people who may never learn from their mistakes either. They are all just sad and lonely people who take out their anger on others. They are nothing more. Ignore them. You are a beautiful, talented woman and you should not let others stomp all over your dreams. Aim high and shoot! No matter what other people think, you are beautiful! You CAN be a model, you CAN be a mermaid, you CAN be an artist! You can be whoever YOU want to be no matter what anyone else says. You want to be a model? Go, work hard and be a model! You want to be a mermaid? DO IT. You ARE a model. You ARE a mermaid. Just because you have failed in the past does not mean that you will do the same in the future. Just because people say that you cannot do it does not mean that you cannot do it. You can ALWAYS do what YOU want to do. Remember that you will ALWAYS have people like your family that will stomp all over your dreams, but you will also ALWAYS have people that will support you not matter what you choose to do. You have people who love you very much. Even though I don't really know you, I love you. Everyone here will love and support you. I too have had people tell me that I will not succeed, but I DID succeed. I AM a mermaid. I AM and artist. I AM a dancer. Both you and I can be whoever we want to be. Tell yourself and your family that you WILL succeed. Tell them that you want to be a mermaid. Tell them that no matter what they say, you WILL be a mermaid. You WILL be a model. Just because they didn't succeed does NOT mean that you will do the same! You have to have that fire in your heart that pushes you forward to the light at the end of the tunnel!
Take pride in what you do. Take pride in being who you are. Take pride in being YOU. YOU are a wonderful, beautiful, talented, caring person. You do NOT need the approval of your family to do what you love to do.

As for money, start off by doing something easy. Maybe make youtube videos and become a youtube partner. That will earn you a bit of money to start off with. Look up videos that get many views. The more views you have, the more you earn! If you have a good voice, sing! Put a video of yourself doing a cover of a popular song on youtube and see what happens!
There will always be many options. You could write a book, you could make a blog, the options are endless! Maybe start watching something like America's Next Top Model to see what being a model could be like. Who knows, maybe you could even enter!
If you think that your overweight, try to find a good diet to start. Being secure with your body will give you the confidence you need.
Write a letter to Ellen Degeneres. She has helped so many people get through tough times. I am sure that she would be more than happy to hear your story and help you too.

Look up and remember that there will always be people that love you. I hope that everything gets better for you soon!

Much love,
~Fiona

[Mermaid_Aurora]

Thank you, your response really helped. I'll have to look into the advice you gave me, and build up the courage to tell my family enough is enough and that I'm going to do this and succeed whether they like it or not. The video thing sounds like something I could do, I'll just need a video recording program for my computer.. I have livestreamed gaming commentary before and people seem to LOVE my commentary. I noticed you mentioned a blog as a way to make money... Hows that work? I am curious, I could probably easily try that out. I have a LOT of fire in my heart to reach my dreams, I dream of being a mermaid every single night, I want it more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. Stumbling upon mermaiding was a complete accident, I was looking for photoshoot ideas when I found it. When I saw the tails and people interacting with children and swimming with dolphins, it felt like I was shown what I was meant to do with my life. I felt... Home.

It's probably going to be a very bumpy road, and I'll continue to try and ask for help while I try out alternate ways of making money, but even if it takes me a year or more... I don't want to aim for anything else. I really do hope to someday be like all of you, who have successfully become a mermaid and reached your dreams. Every single one of you is a role model to me.

As for the bullying.. It's probably going to take some time to emotionally recover from it, but hopefully now I'll have an easier time ignoring them and will be able to have a better life without that constant source of negativity dragging me down. I'm a very forgiving person.. I WILL forgive someone if I am given an honest apology.. But I guess I've dealt with bullying and negetivity so long in my life I find it hard if not impossible to forgive without one, unfortunately..

[seagirls626]

I'm glad I could help! Here is a website that may help you understand how to make money blogging: http://www.problogger.net/archives/2...from-blogging/
I think it basically the same way you make money by being a youtube partner. (advertising)
I think that you will be very successful in the world of Youtube, mermaids, and modeling. You seem like a very intelligent and artistic person and that's exactly what you need.
I am so glad that you are getting over the bullying! I know what it feels like and it's not a good feeling at all. Just remember that you are stronger than they are and you will grow from all this.
Also remember that you will ALWAYS get negativity from other people in your life for no reason at all! Especially on youtube. Just brush them off and move on. My tactic is that I don't really give a sh*t about what they say and I just move on. I basically say, "Hey, you don't like me? That's cool. I love you too. Bye!" Just act completely un-hurt by it (even if it may hurt a little) and they'll feel unsatisfied and that's what you want. Don't let them bring you down no matter what you do! Bullies feed on your pain. Don't give them the satisfaction of hurting you!

Good luck!

[Mermaid Kelda]

The great thing about places like Youtube (and any other online place, really) is that you have the time to gather your thoughts. You can write whatever you want, and they can't see you, so even if a troll's comment upsets you a little, you can act as if you just brushed it off. Seagirls is right, an unsatisfied bully will usually lose interest. Obviously the story's different with the kind of obsessive bullies you had to deal with, but most people on the internet are just looking to get a rise out of you and will move on. So, don't worry about anon hate on Youtube or blogging sites or anything like that; the important part is knowing those kinds of petty people don't matter, and that you have so many people on here who will support you!

[Kanti]

I work for a small company so I have very few coworkers. Basically two superiors and 3 coworkers. One of my coworkers makes me HATE my job. She's nosy, bossy and finds ONE thing to do - makes it last ALL day and then says -I- do nothing cause I do get things done in a timely manner (while handling 90% of our customers) SO I have more "down time" (whereas she won't take any customers cause she's TOO busy with her ONE thing) and don't do EVERYTHING LITTLE EFFING THING so she (heaven forbid) has something else to do besides her ONE thing.
She gets snippy and short and I can't stand her for the most part! My boss is well aware of the situation but has basically told me to deal cause that coworker is "set in her ways" and even tho she's super slow, she's thorough.
I just canNOT wait to get a new job!! I'm under appreciated and I can't stand being bossed around like I'm her assistant when she has the same job position as I do...

Sounds like every manager at every job I've ever had (cept one, one of them was actually good!).
But WOW what a shit manager if he tells you to "deal with it". Honestly, at that point I'd threaten to leave because of the employee whos being stupid. Sometimes to get anywhere you need to play the "haggle game". If it's true that you're doing way more of the work then the manager will definitely not want to let you go over here.
Sounds like the boss just doesn't want to deal with talking to her about it which is incredibly lazy on his part. Do you have a district manager or someone higher than him(boss I'm assuming it's a boy for the sake of pronouns lol)? If so you should write them a professional letter, not disclosing much about yourself until they respond and sound willing to act, but basically a letter saying that an employee is "losing you money" is "horribly inefficient" and worse is "intruding on your work and making you feel uncomfortable with working there" then mention how your boss is showing that he's a fail of a manager and not being able to manage. He's supposed to be saving the company money and this chick sounds like she's a huge waste of money if she can't get through more than one task a day.
I regret not being more assertive in my old jobs but I always had to fight a manager so it was understandably tough.

[Kanti]

Urg I basically wasted my entire spring break helping a friend out with some costume.
There was a convention this past weekend and my friend wanted to go and she needed help with a project. She asked me about in MONTHS in advance which made me happy that she was thinking ahead and giving the project time. Yeeaaaaaa.... Not. She ended up contacting me a mere week and a half ago to tell me we needed to start on them ASAP. I guess I didn't realize how much effing work it was going to be and I had agreed beforehand so I said alright.
What a nightmare..
It took half a week to draw up the plans and my entire week off to execute them. We even had to go to an outside source because we needed to bend thick metal so we ended up having to visit a friend of mine who lives in miami about 6 separate occasions (20 minute drive and a LOT of gas, I had to drive since I know where it is).
It's really not the work that pissed me off, what pissed me off is that she WAITED so damn long to do it. So much that she was cramming my time and making me wake up early for her. I tried to tell her to start it earlier a few times but it shouldn't even have to be my responsibility to get on someone's case for something THEY want me to help them with.
I am seriously never doing that again, if they want to start something within two damn weeks of the actual event/date I am just going to say no. It was too much crap and the product was rushed so it didn't even come out as nice as I'd have preferred.
Whatever, though -___-
</rant>

[seagirls626]

ARGH! So I just came back from the dance studio, and I have something to rant about.
I am sick and tired of the girls there asking me why I am in a bad mood. Sometimes I just walk into the studio and I'm in a bad mood and that's it! They ALWAYS have to know WHY I'm in a bad mood. They pressure me to tell them why I'm in a bad mood to the point where they've gotten me in an even badder mood. And the truth is, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M IN A BAD MOOD. I JUST AM. Why can't they just leave it at that?! SERIOUSLY. They always just HAVE to have an explanation! I say "I don't know why I'm in a bad mood." And then they say "Well there has to be a reason! You just can't be in a bad mood for no reason." YES YOU CAN! I'm a teenage girl, I get moody! Who knows, maybe I could be on my period and they're pressuring me to say something that I don't even know! Just, ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
And then there's this one girl at the studio (who's name I will not mention) that has ALWAYS seemed to have an issue with me for NO REASON. Ever since I started there 5 years ago! At one point (2 years ago) I was talking to my friend, Irene about wether or not I should quit dancing for skating. Now she was really nice about it and told me to do what I love, but this girl (let's call her Lindsey) came up to me and told me "Oh no! You should quit ballet! You should just go skate! Yeah, you should really quit." And I just kind of stared at her with an eyebrow raised.
So I've basically decided that I'm gonna pretty much ignore her negative energy because she's been giving me a lot of it lately. So I'm ignoring her completely which seems to really bug her. So today, she's been pretty clingy. At the last minute in floor bar, she moved her mat right next to mine without a word. After, she ran over next to me at bar. And then when we went to the center, she did the same thing! I don't know what's going on anymore! Does she like me now for some reason? It's like she's always trying to interfere with my friends and my life all the time. Gosh!

[Mermaidmechanic]

@ Aurora:

Bullies are comparable to a fungus that cultivates in the darkness. Low self esteem is the darkness that allows them to grow and colonize, and confidence is the light that kills it. When exposed to light, the fungus withers and dies without the shadows to hide among. I've handled enough bully problems for my friends to know how to deal with them. The biggest obstacle is convincing my friends that they are capable of confidence. Confidence is the strongest weapon in any persons arsenal. Learn to use it, to feel it pulsing within your very being like white hot lava. Let it fuel your ambitions, your day-to-day life. I can, with all honesty, say that it is true. I was lucky to be born with confidence. It never mattered how weird or different I was, I was always accepted because of the confidence in my step and air. When the occasional attempt to bully me arose, I would simply perk an eyebrow and look them over with a sort of "and you have room to talk?" look. Know that bullies are weak-hearted at their core. All it takes is to find their string and pull it and they unravel like a cheap knit sweater. If they see that you are not an easy target, they will leave in search of easier prey. I have used my confidence to put me exactly where I want to be in life. I have become one of the top mechanics on my ship. My superiors respect and trust my opinions and advice. I'm often put in charge of things that should be delegated to people above my rank. I've advanced quickly in the military and I'm at home in my male-dominated line of work. Nothing can stop you when you have confidence in yourself. If you fail, brush off and try again... harder. Always push yourself to your breaking point and then push even more. All of your emotions and angst can be used as valuable, precious fuel. Learn to bottle it for later and release it in a productive manner. Use it for that extra mile, for the extra 100 sit-ups, or that project you cant motivate yourself to finish. You are the only solution to your problems.