The Mer-Writers Thread

[deepblue]

Hi Sam- I don't think you'd offend anyone here with your own theories. Since mermaids are fantasy, anyone can think anything they want... and if they were real, we don't know anything about them, anyway.

The mers in my story are all female, there are no males. This seriously squicks off some mermen fans here. I'm not out to offend anyone, and I think it's a little much to get offended by a fantasy creature's story in fiction. However, in the next part I plan to write, a book 2, there will be a male. But it has to happen when it happens, naturally. They also don't look like traditional mers until a specific situation takes place, which they aren't even aware is a possibility until it happens. If people don't like it, that's okay. I hate what Twilight does to vampires, but that, and the ubelievably poor crafting of the series haven't stopped its popularity. We can't please everyone.

I'm so frustrated right now though. I have no idea my skill level, and I need real critiques. I love that friends have read and responded with "I loved it!" and that it's beautiful, but that doesn't help me ascertain where to go from here. I'm hoping I'll get some reviews on Writing.com, but I can't pay for them, so it's pretty much up to chance. Classes aren't an option, and I don't find books on writing do me a lot of good, the most I can do is read articles on good writing sites and blogs. Even then, I don't know if I'm writing well, and I can only sit here and wait to see if someone reads the damn thing and then reviews it with any kind of skill.

Dottie- I'm sorry I can't take part, it sounds fun. But Beyond the Sea book 2 is calling.

[mermaidwhisperer]

Hey go for it Dottie! I've started getting fanmail this week-I can NOT stop smiling!

My mermaids live on land, like humans. They opt to live in small seaside communities all over the world-and there's a lot that live very isolated. Their tails form when they're in the ocean and at will-so a new mer might struggle with it, but an established mer could do it in a second-when they're heading out of the water-they will it away, and the scales dissolve. My heroine, Ivyanne, can do both in a moment. One character can leap off a boat in mid-air and transition.
They need to swim a lot. If they don't, they get 'withdrawals'. The water heals them, prolongs their youth, keeps them healthy and thriving-when they're on land for too long, they dehydrate quickly. They lose their equilibrium, their feet blister and crack, they get agitated and insomnia. Once again-it comes down to the mer.Some are great at being on land-they can even be away from the ocean for days. Ivyanne, in the beginning, begins to lose it after an hour or so. Like smoking, it can be in their head too.
I've studied a lot to write this-my mers share a lot of characteristics with dolphins. They don't live underwater-but they can go without breath for about fifteen minutes at a time. They can travel at about 37 miles an hour (I think that's right-I keep getting mixed up with miles/kilometres) and they can live for centuries. The oldest won was almost 1000 when she died. BUT global warming is affecting them-shortening their lifespans significantly down to about 400. So they are guardians of the water-they infiltrate the mainland, putting themselves in the position to make a difference.
There is so much detail I can't go into without giving it all away but they have complex breeding/marriage rules to abide by. 'The Marked Ones' who the title is named for, are a specific strain of mermaid who have been bred just to marry into the royal family and cultivate the bloodline of their creator-Anna L'Court. In the very beginning, Ivyanne is fleeing-she is the princess and she doesn't want to choose a future king, for various reasons
It's set in our time too

[deepblue]

I love how many mer worlds are created, all while keeping the essential elements that makes a mer a mer.


A friend just sent me this, passing it on. Tor's short fiction (speculative fiction, ie; horror, supernatural, fantasy, related) submission guidelines.

http://www.tor.com/page/submissions-guidelines

[Prince Calypso]

So i need a little help with something all my creative friends
i have to describe this picture as if i came across it in life for a creative writing course i'm taking



thing is i've never really been good at describing buildings and places in great detail
and when i do it always sounds like and i'm just listing off obvious things if that makes any sense

so could you guys help me. write what you see when you look at this picture

[mermaidwhisperer]

The tower thrust out of the dry, rocky ground, more organic than structural, a heaving, fungal mass that writhed in the night. Its foundation seemed precarious-a scaly tail in shades of blue that looked certain to topple under the weight of it's swollen abdomen. It was midnight blue in some parts, a deep sandy gold in others, fusing itself to the desert scape under the inky blue sky like a chameleon. Moonlight burst from within, glowing through windows too oversized to be necessary, too numerous to count. It brought to mind the image of some underwater palace that had been crafted of sand and shell and trapped in earth centuries before- to be released for my amazement alone.

But that's just me

[Prince Calypso]

The tower thrust out of the dry, rocky ground, more organic than structural, a heaving, fungal mass that writhed in the night. Its foundation seemed precarious-a scaly tail in shades of blue that looked certain to topple under the weight of it's swollen abdomen. It was midnight blue in some parts, a deep sandy gold in others, fusing itself to the desert scape under the inky blue sky like a chameleon. Moonlight burst from within, glowing through windows too oversized to be necessary, too numerous to count. It brought to mind the image of some underwater palace that had been crafted of sand and shell and trapped in earth centuries before- to be released for my amazement alone.

But that's just me

....whoa!
that was fucking epic!!!!!!!!

[mermaidwhisperer]

Feel free to copy and paste

[deepblue]

If you want to learn to write, if you're in that class for a reason, Calypso, perhaps take cues from what whisperer wrote, and see what you can do on your own with it. Besides, I wouldn't encourage plagarizing anyway- with permission perhaps she's ghost writing - but to plagarize for a class? Your teacher need only search the words and voila, find it here. A lot of teachers do that these days, because of the problem of Internet research copy/pasting.

But it's a very nice description!


So funny, how I thought for certain my story was finished. Not only did I do a rewrite in which I case the main character, the mer, in a less flattering light, I just realized it's only 1/3 way done or so. ha. You never know.

[mermaidwhisperer]

Lol Calypso won't copy and paste Wouldn't be much point in doing a writing course if they did.

[Prince Calypso]

Honestly i just needed some inspiration and some ideas. i wasn't intending to copy and paste someone else's work
but the description is really beautiful.

[Mermaid Nemia]

I suggest that you use more than just sight when you're describing it. If you're coming across it in life, you would probably not only see it, but hear the sounds coming from it, feel the textures of it, smell the delicious scents or horrible odors coming from it, and maybe even sense an aura or mood about it. You'd also notice it's surroundings beyond what the picture shows - whether it fits in with the surrounding environment, or seems eerily out of place.

Unless, of course, the assignment calls only for a visual description.

[Mermaid Varshana]

^^^ That. I've been reading through Game of Thrones, which is teaching me that adjectives are good things. For awhile, the trend existed where a writer needs to convey his or her ideas with as few words as possible. It's nice to see that quite possibly the most famous author alive right now goes nuts with description.

I've come to accept that my writing style is geared towards flash fiction. I've tricked myself for many years that, in order to be a good writer, I HAVE to write 300 page novels where every single scene flows into the next. But DragonsDawn, a novel by Anne McCaffery and one of my favorites of all time, is a series of flash fiction stories using the same characters at different points in their lives. So it can work!

[Mermaid Caspiana]

I'm a writer. I'm on page 30 some of my first book and plan on writing a mermaid novel. I actually have a thread about writing. And also if you love writing and reading and humor and laughing (haha) o to YouTube and watch the vlogbrothers. They are fantastic. It is John Green and Hank Green (writer and musician) and they mention their families: John: the yeti (Sarah his wife), and his two adorable kids one is brand new. Teehee! And Hank: Katherine
They are fanstastical. Go watch! Lol!

[Alveric]

I bought Whisper's book on kindle and started it last night. The heroine gets naked in chapter one (my complements)!

Seriously, it looks good.


(I just got reminded that in Spindrift, ​Ari starts out naked in chapter one.)

[deepblue]

lol... my main characters starts off naked, and spends a lot of time naked, come to think of it. There's a lot of sexuality in my story though, as my mermaids use human men for mating. They did stop eating them some time ago, however.

Anyway- this is apropos of nothing here, but I think people need to be honest with writers. My first few drafts had so many issues. As to be expected, it's been ages and I'm getting my writing skills back up to par. But the friends I asked to read it and give me honest feedback really did not. They tried to be nice. I don't want them to be nice. I want them to be constructive, and sure, not harsh, but honest.

Several rewrites later, I'm going to out it up for critique again. It's so much better now, and I'm so much more satisfied.

[deepblue]

Well crud.

Someone I trust gave me a warning about the writing.com site. I've taken it down for now, and might use another route.

And then he told me that it's so good and original, he doesn't think I should do anything but self-publish this final draft.

I really want to just hire an editor and then self-publish, but I don't have that kind of money.

[Mermaid Momo]

@deepblue ,If you're looking for people to edit, why not get someone from the community to edit it for you? or maybe a few people to see what they catch? (a good way to do this is by using google docs and sharing it with other google accounts because the people wan write notes and highlight and you can always see what they're doing or what page they are on.) If you want to go that route, I'd be more than happy to help edit it

[Merman Dan]

For the past six years, my creative outlet has been my online D&D game, “Heirs of Turucambi”. What this means is that I take an establish ruleset, 3.5e D&D, mix in my love of the sea, and then add players to nurture and interact with the environment.


The game is set beneath the surface of the sea, so the standard dwarf, human, elf, and halfling have been replaced with sea elves, merfolk, tritons, locathah, and the like.


Many may complain that such an adventure would be limited to coral reefs and shipwrecks, but I do not agree. Envision vast jungles of free-floating sargassum seaweed or forests of mighty kelp. Think of deserts not filled with sand but with urchin barrens and bleached coral. Imagine forests of mangrove roots in the shallows, fields of seagrass, and brambles of living serpent stars. Never mind the hydrothermal vents, cold seeps, undersea rivers, and the effects of seasons of spawning, migrations, storms, and so on.


The game began with a simple premise, the bad guy wanted to pull out the plug at the bottom of the ocean. That evolved into Diadema, the Blackwater Hag, seeking to awaken three magical maelstroms which would siphon the waters of the Solnor Ocean through planar portals into the hollowed caverns of the lesser moon Celene. There, the twin daughters of the demon lord Dagon and elemental princess Olhydra have been imprisoned by their father.


Currently, the party travels in a saltwater lake locked within a floating cloud island known as Cloudsea. They travel westward to the undersea fortress of the wizard Drawmij, where one of their allies has been imprisoned.

I keep recaps of past game logs at Squidieval

[coral_sybil]

Well... if anyone is interested I went to school to be an editor, been published once, and worked in two internships that published anthologies, and done some editing work for Fan Fiction Writers.

[mermaidwhisperer]

Ha ha ha I feel the need to point out that my mermaid strips to SWIM in the first chapter, lol