Body Image in general and as a mer (share your story)

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Originally Posted by nerinethemermaid

Its not an easy thing to share given many peoples opinions about the choice i had to make.... wasn't easy... i always wonder about the little girl I could have had...( in my heart I know it would have been a girl)

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Your very brave. And others should keep their opinions to themselves until they have had to make such a difficult choice! I feel you made the right one because if I grew up not knowing my mother at all and that she gave her life for me... I think I would be pretty friggin depressed! That's just to rough on a kid. Yeah, you might have made it, but it sounds to me that the chances were slim and that if you did there might have been some long lasting consequences for both you and baby :( I'm also a very firm believer that a woman who takes such a choice seriously, has every right to make that choice, no matter what they choose/chose to do.



Oh, and Shawn? In the most polite and nicest way I can say.... shuuuuuttt iiiiiiiittt. lol. Your a DUDE and you make some models look Plain Jane! Well, everyone is entitled to their own "hang ups", and so are you... but your still pretty.

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Originally Posted by SilverSiren

...What we should all take away from this is that the media sucks, mirrors lie, and people will judge you for ANYTHING they can find, so just stop caring and be exactly who you are and want to be without a single care for anyone else opinion!...... <3

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Exactly! <3

Thanks you guys! I feel like something had lifted finally being able to share that...

I get the dame problems about my diabetes as well... people always questioning my diet...... the fat jokes hurt even more since no one really understands why I got heavy in the first place....

In general how mermaids are percieved vs "real life" mermaids (us)

We all know not all mermaids are skinny and "perfect", but in fact, we are the ones who make the fantasy into reality, despite our issues, we are beautiful in our own way.

to be honest it drives me nuts when people- especially people who aren't involved in any form of mer-culture -tell US the MERMAIDS how we're supposed to be! I say to people all the time, "well how many mermaids do you know?". When I did my ask me anything on reddit- a community sort of known for taking digs at people, a person wrote "you're fatter than I hoped you'd be". The comment got so many downvotes the mods actually REMOVED the comment. I kinda replied jokingly that a mermaid tail leaves little the imagination.

I guess what I'm gathering from here is we all have stories to back up every part of who we are, how we look and feel, and what we do. We could be facing weight issues, health issues, mental issues, home issues, financial issues, combinations of those things... but mermaiding brings us all together unto our own unique world. I know Kae-Leah often talks about the mer-world in her story being a utopia. While we are far from a utopia, we do have some utopia qualities in that we work very hard to support each other, be kind, and non-judgemental. It's not easy by any means, and people run into drama with eachother- me being one of the worst culprits having been around a few years and getting involved with many things- but at the end of the day I do sincerely feel that we work hard as a community to be accepting :)

Thanks to everyone who shared their stories, and if you haven't yet and you feel comfortable doing so feel free! I know initially this thread was intended for body image but I think it sorta encompasses a lot. I certainly feel closer to all of you and proud to call you my online pod :D

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Originally Posted by nerinethemermaid

Thanks you guys! I feel like something had lifted finally being able to share that...

I get the dame problems about my diabetes as well... people always questioning my diet...... the fat jokes hurt even more since no one really understands why I got heavy in the first place....

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I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(

:'(

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Originally Posted by MermaidFenicia

I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(

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my advice would be to avoid 4chan...you won't get anywhere with them. I suggest sticking to reddit.

@Ayla: I never go there but some of my friends do and they tell me they (not my friends, but the other people) are still talking about me on there :(

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Originally Posted by MermaidFenicia

I know your feelings, as it's the same with me. a few people at 4chan wrote: 'Fénicia has very nice outfits, but should not wear them herself as she is to fat to wear them'
So they do like my outfits, but not me :(

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My advice is to just ignore them cause they mean nothing to you on a personal level. People who say those sort of things, thinking they can because they have a computer screen to hide behind, have far more problems than you do Fenicia! Your worth as a person is not weighed by your physical weight and therefore the ones who can say those things about you come out wanting and have to try to put someone else in the spotlight so they can attempt to distract from there glaring insecurities! I can't tell you how beautiful you are and I can't tell you how many times I thought a girl was gorgeous only to think she was hideous as soon as she went to open her mouth. Your weight has NOTHING to do with your beauty and some of the biggest women out there are some of the most beautiful! I mean really... has anyone seen Adel? (the signer) or how about Queen Latifia? If those girls lost weight, I don't think they would be as physically attractive, it suits them, they carry it so well, they're GORGEOUS! But what makes them so beautiful is who they are and the pride they carry with themselves. Keep your chin up sweety, have pride, have confidence, and keep being your sweet self, cause your more than just some numbers on a scale!

It's hard to know when to ignore and when to stand up for yourself Fenicia. I can appreciate that "ignoring" ends up meaning you can't go to your favourite websites anymore etc. But I have found a lot of piece in simply making an effort to avoid things. For instance, people know I have an issue with mertailor, it's pretty common knowledge. So I try really hard not to look at his page unless their is a legit reason for me to. It's kinda dumb but the "out of sight out of mind" rule does work. I feel a lot better, and a lot less stress when I simply don't go to the website. But the temptation to just know what's going on, or in your case perhaps what people are saying about you can be pretty difficult to ignore.

Even celebrities cave once in a while. I was watching Ellen and she was saying how she tries hard to ignore celebrity gossip- but that she saw something pop up about her and her wife. It took something simple like them going out to dinner in matching outfits, and turned it into this whole big deal with all these stupid assumptions. So Ellen made fun of it on her show and had a laugh about it. You have to just roll your eyes at times about the assumptions people make. I have a few friends who are bigger and into costuming, cosplay, and clothing design. They've told me more than once they find it hard for people to accept them and take them seriously despite hours and hours of hard work on their designs. Saying that people often look at their size first and don't even realize the hard work they put into their costumes :( one girl even showed me an entire "you're doing it wrong" website about bigger girls in cosplay :(

Not sure if anyone watches South Park but they actually touched on body image as well as "lowering the bar" in regards to what is acceptable both in body image and behaviour of people. While South Park is known for being offensive I find their parodies actually have a good message. In this case, it was that we're almost too accepting of obesity, or that people profit off it literally by making money (their reference was to Honey Boo boo TV show) and making fun and thinking it's funny. So really, we need to be setting a standard of HEALTHY body sizes and lifestyles, and really stop having it be so acceptable to benefit from someone elses struggle. We live in a culture right now that everyone on the internet can become an "expert" on anything thanks to the ease of info, people can say whatever they want thank to anonymity, and a huge amount of entertainment both on TV and the internet comes from making fun of other people or looking down on them. This is an issue world wide in many areas, not just mermaiding.

Not sure if you saw Fenica, but I made a status that was inspired by this thread not too long ago. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.p...83327321702019 in other words: the people on 4chan who throw hate your way? They're going to do it no matter what! You could lose a bunch of weight and they'd find something else. So you can't live your life in any effort to make them like you, or prevent others from acting the same way. You need to do what makes you happy and being in a mermaid tail does! And you know what? When you go out and do your thing, it validates OTHERS who want to do it too! They see you and think, "she's doing it. I can too!" Just know, that just because someone says something mean about you, that doesn't make it true all of a sudden. I realized I was struggling with that too when it comes to certain people who say bad things about me. Just because they say it, doesn't make it true. YOU get to decide who you are :) Not them. <3

I'm really sorry you are still struggling with that 4chan experience. I hope you feel strong enough to not go on the site. They will be jerks whether or not you read what they say, so why not safe yourself the trouble and just avoid them. <3

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Originally Posted by AniaR

I'm really sorry you are still struggling with that 4chan experience. I hope you feel strong enough to not go on the site. They will be jerks whether or not you read what they say, so why not safe yourself the trouble and just avoid them. <3

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I don't do to that site my self, but sometimes my friends tell me what they put on it.
I know those people who are saying bad things about me, are most of the time just jealous or don't know the truth about me (like those who tell me that I'm lazy as I need a wheelchair to go around fairs). I swim like a real mermaid and dive quite deep (about 5 meters), things they can't.
Most of the times I just ignore those people, but my boyfriend can't do that. He's afraid that someone will hurt me (or him) and not only with nasty words but with hitting and other nasty stuff. :(

Well, said AniaR! Reminds me very much of this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Just gotta live your life, not for the future, not in the past, but right here, right now, in the present. Can't be like “folks who have one foot in the future and the other in the past and spend their time pissin all over today because of it.” - Stephen King... love that guy, so blunt, honest and to the point, even if he is a bit crass about it. lol

best. quotes. ever, silversiren. <3

Fenica, you may have to do what I did and simply tell your friends you don't want to hear about that stuff anymore. Your friends probably feel like they're doing a good thing by letting you know, but you can just tell them you're trying to move past it so you don't want them to bring it up.

I think many of us have partners (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouses etc) that would very much like to smash people for treating us poorly. But if you are worried about someone ACTUALLY trying to harm you, it's a good idea to talk to the police. People don't think much can be done about online issues but what they don't realize is that most websites will do whatever the police ask when issued a warrant. All it takes for a warrant is threats of harm.

Keep your chin up! <3

Thanks for the support Raina :). I've already told my friends that I'm not interested in those nasty comments, so they don't talk about them anymore :)
I told my boyfriend if someone really hurts me at an event or convention, I let the staff and security people know who did what. I already had to do that with an ex-friend (girl) who attack me (grabbed me at my throat) at a convention as she was jealous at me because of a LARP/stage-accident. I was very lucky 1 of the staff-members was there to see it happen, as most of the other people though it was an act. That girl now has a ban on being a steward at all their conventions and a warning for a full conventionban if she attacks again.

Aww, thanks! <3 I just LOVE to talk to people and try really hard to keep them positive about things, much like you do AniaR. It's no fun feeling crappy about yourself, your life, your situation, whatever. This whole community has really proven to not only be a great and fun place to hang out but a positive and supporting place too. Your a inspiration to a lot of people and I really like that you start posts that get everyone a chance to open up, be honest, help support others or to just plain have a good fun conversation. This is the second post that you have opened that has let me express myself in touchy parts of my life, it's always nice to know your never alone.

I actually agree with Natasha. I was actually teased a lot for being too thin. When I was younger people didn't
used to notice that much and they'd just call me short or something, but ever since highschool people have been
a lot more malicious with it. People would often tell me they were jealous that I was so skinny and they wish they
could lose weight, but then they'd turn around and attack me for it randomly for it. I was often called annorexic
which is really aggravating because I actually try to eat a lot whenever I can.
I was also almost ALWAYS targeted by girls, I can only think of one instance where a guy even mentioned anything
about me. I think it may just be that they viewed me as someone who represented society's idea of a "perfect" female
form so they may have subconsciously decided that they had to attack me for it if they didn't agree.
Not to mention skinny people don't get the "respect" that overweight people do. You're not really supposed to call someone
fat or it's considered rude, you don't really go up to a fat person and say "Man I really don't like how fat people look" yet
for some reason it's perfectly okay to go up to a skinny person and do those same things. "OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY DO
YOU EVEN EAT?" or more commonly, when people come up to me and say things like "Bleh I hate the whole "skinny look",
it's so overrated and gross, I like girls who actually have skin and stuff". I guess it does hit a nerve with me, not because I
feel generally offended at the person's opinion, I'm more insulted that an overweight person's feelings are placed on a higher
pedestal than my own. That a person who wouldn't dare say anything like that to a fat person would just turn around and do it
right in front of me. Not to mention if I say anything they immediately jump the gun and say I must be shallow or something if
I'm insulted by being called skinny since it's favored by society.
I think it's really unfair that people even care about weight. Being overweight is just as dangerous as being underweight, people
should be more concerned about their health than their images. I know people who weigh twice as much as I do but their
cholesterol, heart rate, and metabolism are WAY better than mine. I guess it's just easy to judge people by how they look on
the outside. The fact that anyone would tease someone else about their weight is either because they themselves need to feel
better about themselves, or just that they want to get a rise out of someone.

In regards to being skinny, I can't stand when I am browsing modelling photos and see ignorant commentators write "eat a sandwhich". Once a friend of mine who had cancer had an image featured on DA. People were ripping into her for being skinny and I couldn't help it, I told every single one of them off. People could be skinny for unhealthy reasons OR they could just be skinny AND THAT IS OKAY.

I am really skinny and short. Its just how I am. I am healthy. But people have been mean. They call me anorexic because I can't eat any food anybody offers me because of food allergies. A couple weeks ago I was running in a sports bra and I ran across some boys from school. They said some really mean things. They said I stuff. To prove this one even tried to rip my bra off. And They were on bikes so I could not out run them.

people are downright mean, end of story, No one is ever happy with an image because they feel insecure themselves that they need to make fun of others to feel better about themselves, thats how bullying starts. I was always the quiet and shy one in school, i was ALWAYS picked on, i never said a word i never stood up for myself, I let it continue way into highschool i was always called "awkward, nerd, stupid, olive oil, walking stick etc", somewhere along the line probably between working at the aquarium and stress I "grew a spine" and told these kids off.. and i mean let them have it too. Im not a curser- if i ever curse- you've neared my breaking point.

But one day during a group activity, i never forget that kid he was mean as heck to me, always putting me down for whatever i did or what i wore and it made me feel worse about myself and how i looked to people. But I got mad and told him loudly "You dont know who i am or what i do with my personal life, you percive everything from what you only see in school. Until you know who i really am, until you've walked in my shoes. You cant talk about me. Your nonsense is just that. Nonsense. If you feel the need to talk about someone, how about look at your own insecurities and talk about yourself first, before going off on someone you dont even know." He stopped bugging me ever since.

I grew up quite a bit in high school, but i stood up for myself and kept on going. Sometimes people need to be put in their place. in a respectful manner, if they attempt physical harassment, go to the police. Its sad they dont realize not everyone is perfect, that not everyone is healthy and has to look a specific way to be called "beautiful". Its total BS. I wish there was a way to knock some sense into people. We need a Mermaid Public Service Announcement..

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Originally Posted by merana

I am really skinny and short. Its just how I am. But people have been so mean. They call me anorexic all the time because I can't eat any food anybody offers me because of food allergies. A couple weeks ago I was running in a sports bra and I ran across some boys from school. It was horrible I wear a d cup but I weigh 55 pounds. They teased me so much. They said I got liposuction and other mean things. They said I stuff. To prove this one even tried to rip my bra off. And They were on bikes so I could not out run them.

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That's terrible I hope you messed them up

If this happened to me those boys would have broken noses, and NEVER feel safe coming around me again. But I'm a really aggressive person with a very very short temper and I'm not afraid to take people down even tho I'm smaller then them most the time

I told a boy off in highschool once, only time I ever did it. Ever since I moved there he'd been teasing me, all through junior high, all through high school. Now, I may be quick to type on here but in real life I get to have TIME to think about what I want to say. In person when someone behaves so ridiculously I am often so surprised by their behaviour that I just look at them shocked and don't say anything. Every once in a while, the stars align so that I can make a witty retort or some sort of come back. It doesn't happen OFTEN. But when it does, it's golden. So, we're in math class, we get stuck sitting next to each other. The teacher asks us to be partners and he very dramatically says, "eww I don't want to be partners with that THING." to which I casually reply, "It's true Mr. Walsh, (insert name here) really doesn't like being around women. We make him very uncomfortable" (I had noticed he'd always pick on girls. This was grade freaking 12 mind you. So the guy is kinda shocked and tries to stammer out something but before he can get going I'm all, "no, it's okay, you don't have to say anything. Just let me move farther away I know how bad you feel when girls touch you." of course after each of my statements the class is roaring because I was NOT known for speaking out at all. He's getting madder, face turning red, and the Math teacher is surprisingly quiet and not stopping me. The guy tries to get something else out and I say something along the lines of, "oh sweety it's okay, you don't have to spare my feelings. If you don't like girls, you don't like girls." And I moved my chair as far away as I could and started working. When he started practically spitting that's when the teacher stepped in and told me that was enough. He got teased for the whole day for not being quick enough with me, and he NEVER bothered me, or ANY OTHER GIRL after that.

I know with my comments it may come across like I was speaking about his possible sexuality, I think that's what he was hoping people wouldn't think when he got all upset, but honestly the guy was always an ass to women. It was like he took so much joy in making girls cry, and this is an 18 year old! He even told me once it was his mission to make me cry (never did). I gotta wonder what exactly went on in his life for him to hate women so much. And really, to be that way still at 18? I feel really bad for him. Years later he's run into me and been a TOTALLY different person. respectful nice, kind. So whatever issue he had I think he finally got over it. I was just glad he finally shut up. lol

So high fin Lanai!

I'm thirteen and homeschooled, and luckily I haven't had to go through all that much about bullying or teasing or anything of the sort. I'm quite uncomfortable in a swimsuit, but mainly because I feel too revealed, more than I feel self-conscious. I've never been much of one to feel bad about my appearance. Maybe it's just upbringing. I have one girl whom I see a lot, everywhere I go, but most of the time she ignores me. She's called me a lot of curse words like a bitch and a bit worse. As well as a "poodlehead" (which I often get as an insult but it doesn't bother me because I get it more often as a compliment) but she's also a brownnose. One day at camp with her, she randomly said she liked my shirt. Since it's an art camp though, I was wearing my oldest shirt, a simple tie-dyed tshirt that was covered in paint stains. What mostly bothers me is when she threatens to hit me or my friends. I don't think she really meant it, because at my swim team my friend and I were planning a swim team party. As soon as she heard about it, she acted like she was best friends. I didn't want to spend four hours with someone who I really hated, I ended up not going to a party I planned over half of.

But I digress. I have posture issues--I'm often slouching horribly. I'd have scoliosis if I didn't go to a chiropractor who's against labeling all of her patients with it. :p I get a lot of people who will rudely tell me to stop slouching, but I know it's an issue, so that doesn't bother me overly either. But what does bother me is my teeth. I've never been to a dentist, and only had one cavity on a baby tooth. My teeth are fairly white, not gorgeous, but that's okay. But I have a horrible overbite, but when I fix it, I look really, really strange. I don't like it. Besides body image, I'm also fairly self conscious about my intelligence. I'm a really great reader and writer (so I've been told) and I can read an 800 page book in a day if I set my mind to it. I've had a lot of people tell me my writing is really good. But I'm so horrible at math and history, I can't remember much at all. I'm not good at memorizing things, so I often find myself in a conversation with a friend and it leads to history, and I have no idea what they're talking about.

I'm 5'3, 89 lbs. I've had a boy or two call me anorexic, but I'm really not. In BMI, I'm hovering over underweight, but still in healthy weight. My belly is pretty flat, I do have a "prominent" waistline, so I'm fairly pleased with that. But I don't really feel the need to be "sexy" or "hot" or even "attractive." I'd rather just be cute.:p So I believe that I'm okay. The main thing that I feel self-conscious about nowadays since I'm getting so much into mermaiding is how I just don't look like I could fit into the crowd. All the other mers I see have straight, nice hair and here I am with a q-tip for a head. xD I used to have long hair, but it got to be so bothersome and I really never liked having long, curly hair because it never really looked "nice." I love my hair, most of the time (even had a boy say it was amazing xD) but sometimes I just really don't like it.

And then, to show you why I'm called poodlehead...

Attachment 6898
Annnnd for some reason the insert image thingy won't work. So I guess if you care enough click the links? xD

http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/...z/P8110574.jpg
http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/...z/P8060462.jpg

Annnyways, this was all pretty rambly and stuff...

So cute Emma :) thanks for sharing! <3

You know, the more I think of it the less I actually support the news anchor.
Rather than being offended she could take that person's letter to heart and assume that they were
just looking out for her. Maybe they just assumed that she didn't think her weight was a problem.
I did find it a bit rude of the way it was worded but I didn't find it bullying at all. I think I'd like someone
to tell me if they thought I was overweight. I don't find it offensive at all, I think it's a concern for
health. If they were really trying to bully her wouldn't they have done something a little more shocking
or rude?

Heeeyyyy Emma! I have curls too! Curls rock! Yay for Mers with curls! I do straighten them sometimes but not often cause I would hate to cause permanent damage.

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Originally Posted by Kanti

I actually agree with Natasha. I was actually teased a lot for being too thin. When I was younger people didn't
used to notice that much and they'd just call me short or something, but ever since highschool people have been
a lot more malicious with it. People would often tell me they were jealous that I was so skinny and they wish they
could lose weight, but then they'd turn around and attack me for it randomly for it. I was often called annorexic
which is really aggravating because I actually try to eat a lot whenever I can.
I was also almost ALWAYS targeted by girls, I can only think of one instance where a guy even mentioned anything
about me. I think it may just be that they viewed me as someone who represented society's idea of a "perfect" female
form so they may have subconsciously decided that they had to attack me for it if they didn't agree.
Not to mention skinny people don't get the "respect" that overweight people do. You're not really supposed to call someone
fat or it's considered rude, you don't really go up to a fat person and say "Man I really don't like how fat people look" yet
for some reason it's perfectly okay to go up to a skinny person and do those same things. "OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY DO
YOU EVEN EAT?" or more commonly, when people come up to me and say things like "Bleh I hate the whole "skinny look",
it's so overrated and gross, I like girls who actually have skin and stuff". I guess it does hit a nerve with me, not because I
feel generally offended at the person's opinion, I'm more insulted that an overweight person's feelings are placed on a higher
pedestal than my own. That a person who wouldn't dare say anything like that to a fat person would just turn around and do it
right in front of me. Not to mention if I say anything they immediately jump the gun and say I must be shallow or something if
I'm insulted by being called skinny since it's favored by society.
I think it's really unfair that people even care about weight. Being overweight is just as dangerous as being underweight, people
should be more concerned about their health than their images. I know people who weigh twice as much as I do but their
cholesterol, heart rate, and metabolism are WAY better than mine. I guess it's just easy to judge people by how they look on
the outside. The fact that anyone would tease someone else about their weight is either because they themselves need to feel
better about themselves, or just that they want to get a rise out of someone.

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Kanti! Thats unbelievable!!! I have exactly the same thing! I have always wondered why there is a difference between teasing someone about being overweight or underweight. I mean, being called "bony" or "anorexic" really hurts.... when i was younger it didnt matter so much but since highschool everyone obsesses over body image etc. Like my familt members, especially my grandmother who is like "EAT MORE NATASHA!!! YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME ANOREXIC!!!!" I have eaten as much as everyone else but she feels the needs to point out my weight whenever i see her :(
I totally understand you Kanti <3
If anyone needs someone to talk to, Im available to chat with :$ xxx

Yeah, I didn't actually think the letter was bullying personally, but I don't think it's anyone's place to send anyone a letter like that honestly. When you personally know someone and are concerned for their health then you have a CONVERSATION. Something that isn't one sided. But like she points out, the person doesn't know her, they point out her weight as if she didn't know about it and did nothing to change it. I do think the letter is inappropriate - but I'm not convinced it's bullying. It does read like an internet troll's writing for sure. And I do agree with the anchor that it's wrong that people think this is appropriate, and they speak this way to children. And people DO speak this way to children. Which is unacceptable because many children aren't finished developing the part of their brain that allows them to think critically- so they aren't always able to differentiate these things.

So yeah, I personally don't think it was an attempt to bully, but I do think it's an important conversation starter. I am glad the anchor responded because I hope it got families talking about body image and health with their kids.

Hey everyone, I'm 14 ( 15 in two months) and I'd like to share some things. I'm like 5'7" or 5'8" and 105-110 pounds. I know I'm perfectly fine for weight, but sometimes I just can't get rid of those feelings that sometimes pop up. You need a flatter stomach. You need to be less tall. Don't forget the "I wish I had bigger breasts". I'm normally the tallest person in all of my classes, but since I like to wear wedges it makes me even taller. Hey, I can't help it I love them. :p And since I'm in 9th grade, Im still taller than the boys. Not only this, but I have acne. Now, I hate it when people are all " omg a zit I"m going to die I've never had this before" and then they think my skin is fine because I wear concealor. Now, I started getting zits in fifth grade, so I assumed it would stop by now. One thing I've noticed is that they go away when I'm happier, which currently isn't too often. Especially since I just moved and don't have any friends. I think thats a big part of it. One other thing, is that I hate is when people sort of make fun of me. We had to make "what I do" memes. On the what I actually do, I showed a short video of me tail swimming, and everyone thought it was cool. One girl Cassidy, decided to start randomly saying hi to me throughout the next couple days. She's popular so I was kind of concerned, but I decided to start a convo with her. Didn't end well. A lot of awkward moments. She kept saying high for like the next 2 days and then stopped. I heard from my one friends that she was calling me mermaid girl. I really wasn't sure to be offended or not. I was mostly just offended that she was probobly was just dared to say Hi to the new person. Keep in mind is was only hi nothing else. Twice it was I like your shoes. Once it was how is your day going. I had honestly thought she wanted to be my friends. Who knows? Maybe she did, but she never made an effort to actually talk to me.

Aww Caitlin. First of all, I want to say I am so happy that so many merlings are posting in this :) as you can see for us adults body image can unfortunately still be a struggle. I'd still say it was a million times worse when I was kid though. As far as being "Mermaid girl" go ahead an OWN that title! You are mermaid girl! The best mermaid girl around. She may still want to be your friend and not sure how to go about it. When I was 18 in high school my friends and I were all punky in our clothes and hair. Once I wore a hair band with cat ears on it. This was before that kinda stuff was big everywhere with cosplay etc... and a girl took to calling me "cat girl". I didn't let it bother me cuz let's be honest, I wore cat ears. lol.

I'm so happy to hear that you were brave enough to show your video! <3 As far as feeling insecure about acne- most people have to go through that at your age. At 26 I still get it if I get stressed out or don't eat right! Drinking lots of water will help and if your folks will let you taking vitamin e both as a pill, and then literally chopping it open and using the inside to make a facial mask for 15 minutes can REALLY help. I have learned some tricks in my days to get around zits ;)

And if you're not feeling well these days (you mentioned you haven't been happy) please know there are so many of us you can talk to!

I feel you pain on the zit thing too! I am a acne sufferer. I will have it all my life, like it or not. I currently have found that pro-active does work for me, their sulfer mask is wonderful for pesky zits and breakouts (leave on a pimple overnight and the thing will be pretty much gone or totally gone in the morning). I seem to get used to the pro-active after a while using it so I flip over to a different regimen when that happens, which is, Olay Pro-x wrinkle cream... I kid you not. It seems that all the nourishing properties of the cream really help, plus it makes the skin shed off the dead stuff faster and keeping your face well moisturized can prevent your skin from freaking out and over-producing pore clogging oil. I will also use a good face wash with this, like the pro-active one. Twice a week, use a good face scrub, the finer the scrub particles the better, Olay makes a good one that is sold as a microdermabrasion (sp?) kit. Steaming your face either over a pot of hot water or a sink of hot water is good to do two to three times a week followed by your regular skin care routine.Please be careful not to burn yourself! Don't be stickin your face too close or make the water too hot, it should be a light steam. This should all help tremendously. Change your pillow case twice a week too. Last piece of advice, don't touch your face! I know you've heard it before, but you'll be surprised at how much we touch our face and don't even realize, try to be really aware of it sometime and you'll see what I mean. Pimples suck, but you can fight the little (insert bad word here). If this still doesn't work, then it's ok, your really pretty, so I doubt anyone notices but you! A LOT of people tell me that they are envious of my skin, I think "wtf are you going on about?!" but just politely accept the compliment instead of pointing out what they obviously missed, what they don't know can't hurt them.;)

Thanks you guys! :) You all have great advice. I've only been a bit unhappy, because I moved, but I'm sure that will blow over soon. My skin's getting better so I'm sure everything will be fine. :)

Lovin this...

im sorry guys but, i am overweight, i know i am overweight, i dont need someone to point it out for me. please dont assume that us bigger girls are oblivious to our situation, i think about my size every single hour of every single day. i have people constantly telling me that i should be discusted with myself. yes in this day and age of tolerance people still speak to us that way, i get people calling out from cars and yes sometimes children do it too, all because their parents are too ignorant to discourage this behavior.

i will never go to my local pool again as one of the lifeguards called me a fatarse to one of the other lifeguards when i was doing a handstand underwater, my best friend and boyfriend were right behind her, when we reported it to the manager he just shrugged.

i was reduced to a lower level of employment because of my weight, everyone else who does the same job as me gets permanant work and i have to go on contract, so they can give me the flick whenever they want, i have a physical job and lucky me, i am still very fit from before i gained weight, much moreso than many people i work with, i informed the people hiring during my interview of that fact but they still had concerns and keep asking me if i am 'coping' all the time.

i dont call people anorexic, nor does anyone else i know, generally we assume people are smart enough to know how much they weigh, and i am not a doctor, nor anyone who has the training or right to assume what size is correct for someone else.

if you were overweight, you wouldnt need someone to point it out to you, believe me.

who is to say that the news reader didnt suffer from an illness?? a teacher when i was in highschool had a car accident as a 25 year old and by 30 weighed 190kg all from the medication she was on.

i think the letter writer was ignorant and wrong, bully or not, just wrong.

sorry if that was a downer, i didnt want it to come across as a lecture but it sounds a bit that way lol.

i just wanted to point out that fat does not equal dumb.

:D

Well, here, for the sake of not having to type it all again:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater

this is my submission to a facebook group called the "This Is My Body Project." You guys might like it!

People are really weird, One day I was walking on my way to the train stop and a women approached me and said “oh my you are very handsome young man” I then got on my train and this other person was like” ahahha look at your ears! they stick out, go get them pinned back, my brother did” and I was like :O , even when I was at school I was having a fight with this guy and he said “your nose is 'butterz'-(ugly in slang)” then I was out with some friends and this girl said “you have a really nice nose” so I was literally mind f*ucked. When I was younger I was large and insecure because everyone was saying I looked chubby, I go swimming every day for 3 years and now I am slim and everyone is like, “you’re so skinny, how are you not muscular if you swim every day?!” so I can never win :(

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Originally Posted by Neotail

People are really weird, One day I was walking on my way to the train stop and a women approached me and said “oh my you are very handsome young man” I then got on my train and this other person was like” ahahha look at your ears! they stick out, go get them pinned back, my brother did” and I was like :O , even when I was at school I was having a fight with this guy and he said “your nose is 'butterz'-(ugly in slang)” then I was out with some friends and this girl said “you have a really nice nose” so I was literally mind f*ucked. When I was younger I was large and insecure because everyone was saying I looked chubby, I go swimming every day for 3 years and now I am slim and everyone is like, “you’re so skinny, how are you not muscular if you swim every day?!” so I can never win :(

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Haters gonna hate... that's why. Someone will hate on you just because they hate on everything, don't take it personally, cause it doesn't matter what you do, haters gonna hate.

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Originally Posted by SilverSiren

Oh, and Shawn? In the most polite and nicest way I can say.... shuuuuuttt iiiiiiiittt. lol. Your a DUDE and you make some models look Plain Jane! Well, everyone is entitled to their own "hang ups", and so are you... but your still pretty.

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It's mostly because I'm so skinny, people ask me if I have an eating disorder... I mean, you wouldn't ask a larger person if they have diabetes... It's just rude.
I want to look healthy. That's really what it comes down to.
Thank you though Silver!

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Originally Posted by AniaR

pssst, Shawn. My cousin... on the right ;)

http://www.nbpfa.com/old/articles/ca...5/DSC_0151.jpg

LOL Love the guy, but not my thing...

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Oh my goodness! Not my thing at all, but if he is happy with how he looks, that's all that matters. :)