B!TC# IT OUT!

[Miyu]

New York Mermaid: aww that stinks. Thyroids can be a b!tc#... The only thing I can say is I was in my best shape when a made fresh veggie/fruit juice (secondhand juicers are cheap) and smoothies every day... Otherwise it's a battle with my weight for me as well :/ ((HUGS)) And pills suck >.<

Raptor: I agree. There are other more "traditional" mermaid decks out there. Every tarot artist makes their deck first and foremost for themselves. Who knows, maybe eventually there will be 10 mer-themed Tarot decks out there to choose from! I'm personally enjoying learning all this about sea deity mythology.

[New York Mermaid]

@moonlightmermaid yea it sucks I actually have a nutribullet I've been using for rasberrie and other smoothies with flax seeds. But thanks for the advice I might need to entice a shark the next time I go swimming to get me motivated

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

Thanks SeaGlass Siren and Moonlight Mermaid. I probably shouldn't have said anything on here (or even responded to them the first time), but I think sharing knowledge and ideas can be really fun.

[Joy&RaptorsUnrestrained!]

And New York Mermaid, I'll pray that you feel much better ASAP

[deepblue]

I've had it. I've had enough.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am you're dealing with this. I understand. I'm the middle child of three, and I've actually stopped speaking to my younger sister because she's such an emotionally, verbally abusive, horrible person to me and to my mom. The disrespect is mind-blowing, and my mom makes excuses and wants me to be the bigger person and somehow fix things. Well, I can't and won't try- I've tried. Thing is, some people are just toxic. Blood related or not, I'm done with her because she's toxic. And since she's a huge liar and manipulative and arrogant, I have no faith whatsoever that she will ever change. So I'm done with her. My mom, from guilt, constantly convinces herself that my little sister is 'getting better' but she isn't.

I let go of her, and it was liberating. I don't need her in my life and I don't want her around my child.

My entire family is so screwed up though. Years of living through various abuses and all of it culminating in a highly traumatic event... I'm the only one who got help, starting 20 years ago, so now I've bypassed them all in sanity, but because I got the diagnoses, they are all still convinced that I'm 'the' crazy one. Which is astounding... because my life isn't perfect but it's good. It's nice. I like it. Theirs? Chaos. To me, that shows who's evolving.

Raptor: I agree. There are other more "traditional" mermaid decks out there. Every tarot artist makes their deck first and foremost for themselves. Who knows, maybe eventually there will be 10 mer-themed Tarot decks out there to choose from! I'm personally enjoying learning all this about sea deity mythology.

I'm not aware of the entire story, but I agree with ^that from what I've read so far.

I used to manage an occult bookstore, and we carried every tarot deck on the market. Every. One. I can tell you, there is a market for every kind of deck. For every three super traditional decks, the market always needs and wants unique decks - and it will find its audience. It will resonate with those as unique. Some people will only ever want variations on the Rider-Waite, and that's fine for them (though there are older decks, which the RW is actually based on but that don't spell things out as clearly and so aren't as popular), but the really unique decks were always my favorite. A good example of decks which must be learned from a zero point and referring to no others are The New Orleand Voodoo Tarot and the Tarot of the Secret Forest. The artists created an entirely new set of symbolism, yet it's still truly tarot. Very, incredibly creative and cool.

Someone needs to do something new in the mermaid decks, happy if it's you, Raptor.

[New York Mermaid]

Joy&raptorsunrestrained: Thank you, I need all prayers,Good vibes and thoughts I can get.

It keeps getting worse... My dad has to have not one but two surgeries October, he's getting a pacemaker put in and also getting major back surgery. I also have to help my mom out since she lost her job. I gave her the only bit of money I had to at least buy her some food for the week. I don't know what to say or do any more I cant catch a break. I just want to swim into a cave and not come out until it all gets better.

[Thalassa]

Okay, I've gone back and forth about posting this because there are so many ways for it to look wrong.

I'm tired of fighting with myself! I have anxiety, and EVERY minute of every day is a fight against the negative inner dialogue. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I have to shake my head and tell myself to shut up about every 20 minutes because my "That was so stupid, I make no sense, they think I'm an idiot, why the heck did I do that, I just want it to stop, I'm an idiot, I really just want to die, just shut up, I'm making it worse, I've lost it again, now why did I do THAT, oh my gosh I look so stupid..." inner dialogue is relentless. Now, I'd like to say I DON'T want to die, but for some reason I catch myself thinking it when what I'm really thinking is "I'm so tired of being stressed all the time and I really really just want it to STOP." Yes, I have a therapist. And I'd better post this quick, here, or I'll convince myself that it'll make me look weak and stupid in front of y'all and it's better off not said.

At the moment, the inner me is saying, "You're such an attention hog, they'll think you're just trying to get attention, what kind of person posts about mental issues on the internet, you look so crazy and desperate, they won't think you're cool, there are people with REAL problems here, why are you whining..."

Yay. I'm just finding that I don't want to face the world anymore. I sleep 10+ hours a day when I can and still find myself going to bed ASAP because I feel tired. I'll be talking with my doctor, etc. about it but I just needed an immediate outlet.

Sorry.

[Thalassa]

Joy&raptorsunrestrained: Thank you, I need all prayers,Good vibes and thoughts I can get.

It keeps getting worse... My dad has to have not one but two surgeries October, he's getting a pacemaker put in and also getting major back surgery. I also have to help my mom out since she lost her job. I gave her the only bit of money I had to at least buy her some food for the week. I don't know what to say or do any more I cant catch a break. I just want to swim into a cave and not come out until it all gets better.

Sending prayers and good wishes your way!

[New York Mermaid]

Sending prayers and good wishes your way!

Thanks Thalassa, Sending some your way too.

[ShyMer]

Okay, I've gone back and forth about posting this because there are so many ways for it to look wrong.

I'm tired of fighting with myself! I have anxiety, and EVERY minute of every day is a fight against the negative inner dialogue. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I have to shake my head and tell myself to shut up about every 20 minutes because my "That was so stupid, I make no sense, they think I'm an idiot, why the heck did I do that, I just want it to stop, I'm an idiot, I really just want to die, just shut up, I'm making it worse, I've lost it again, now why did I do THAT, oh my gosh I look so stupid..." inner dialogue is relentless. Now, I'd like to say I DON'T want to die, but for some reason I catch myself thinking it when what I'm really thinking is "I'm so tired of being stressed all the time and I really really just want it to STOP." Yes, I have a therapist. And I'd better post this quick, here, or I'll convince myself that it'll make me look weak and stupid in front of y'all and it's better off not said.

At the moment, the inner me is saying, "You're such an attention hog, they'll think you're just trying to get attention, what kind of person posts about mental issues on the internet, you look so crazy and desperate, they won't think you're cool, there are people with REAL problems here, why are you whining..."

Yay. I'm just finding that I don't want to face the world anymore. I sleep 10+ hours a day when I can and still find myself going to bed ASAP because I feel tired. I'll be talking with my doctor, etc. about it but I just needed an immediate outlet.

Sorry.

Aww you lovely dear, you. That must be extremely exhausting and confusing to have that going on in your head all the time. It's more frustrating when you don't have anyone close to you to talk to about it, or at least not without feeling like you're being foolish or attention seeking in doing so. Have you considered seeing a therapist? I guess a doctor could give you medication to help with your anxiety, but it's not gonna help resolve anything, you know?

Edit- never mind, I somehow missed that part where you said you're seeing a therapist and all. Sorry about that :/

[Miyu]

Thalassa: ((HUGS))

[Thalassa]

Thanks, friends. I appreciate the support and letting me vent. <3

[emma11]

Okay, I've gone back and forth about posting this because there are so many ways for it to look wrong.

I'm tired of fighting with myself! I have anxiety, and EVERY minute of every day is a fight against the negative inner dialogue. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I have to shake my head and tell myself to shut up about every 20 minutes because my "That was so stupid, I make no sense, they think I'm an idiot, why the heck did I do that, I just want it to stop, I'm an idiot, I really just want to die, just shut up, I'm making it worse, I've lost it again, now why did I do THAT, oh my gosh I look so stupid..." inner dialogue is relentless. Now, I'd like to say I DON'T want to die, but for some reason I catch myself thinking it when what I'm really thinking is "I'm so tired of being stressed all the time and I really really just want it to STOP." Yes, I have a therapist. And I'd better post this quick, here, or I'll convince myself that it'll make me look weak and stupid in front of y'all and it's better off not said.

At the moment, the inner me is saying, "You're such an attention hog, they'll think you're just trying to get attention, what kind of person posts about mental issues on the internet, you look so crazy and desperate, they won't think you're cool, there are people with REAL problems here, why are you whining..."

Yay. I'm just finding that I don't want to face the world anymore. I sleep 10+ hours a day when I can and still find myself going to bed ASAP because I feel tired. I'll be talking with my doctor, etc. about it but I just needed an immediate outlet.

Sorry.

I feel ya. <3 I went through that about 3 years ago. It was so bad I couldn't step outside my house other than to go on walks. Hours upon hours were spent walking for me, thank goodness I live out in the boonies or people would have thought I was insane wandering around the streets hysterically crying and not understanding why.

Medicine helped me, just enough to get me over the trying part in my life, and then I weaned myself off the meds. I'm not saying it's going to get 100% better, because it's not. That anxiety and nerves and terrible crap holding us back is part of who we are. Mine I imagine as a very large black beast, one that wraps itself around me at the worst moments and tries to swallow me whole. But it is NOT the end. It gets better. And we fight those monsters every day of our lives. But it gets better.

But the most important thing? YOU ARE NOT WEAK. This does not mean you are weak, or that you are less of a person than any other human on this god forsaken planet. We are all here for a reason, you as well. Weakness is a sense of being powerless, and you my dear are anything but that. Just by being able to post this is enough to show yourself that. Strength is something that comes from within, and soon you'll see that there's a well of power inside of you that you might never have seen before. <3 <3 You have people in this world who love you without ever meeting you. Don't ever forget that.

[Ariel-Starfish]

Could be possible, I have a sister with autism and my mother was/is always very protective of her. I can imagine how it must be for you. It's wonderful that they are very supportive, I think it's a big step for them to let go because parents always want the best for their child, no matter how old he or she is haha .

Yes they do ^^ <3

[Elle]

Crazy people are awesome, no? I also had the unfortunate job of uninviting a rude crazy person who was close to us from our wedding. You made the right decision. It won't be pleasant and there will be lots of dumb posturing, but then you'll have a better, less drama filled wedding because of it.

Hey, at least there will be no drama at the wedding! (everyone, ignore your phones! ) Good for you for making that decision. I know it's hard, but seriously that lady sounds pretty messed up, and it's just not good to be around that kind of stuff. ((HUGS))

Yes! I'm looking forward to a drama-less wedding!!! I'm kinda glad in a way that it's happening now, so we don't have to worry about it later and it has been dealt with

Elle, she sounds like a typical borderline personality disorder mom. I have one, and they are so much more common than people realize. This is a great forum for people who have someone with BPD in their life, but even if she doesn't have BPD (most are undiagnosed) the forum acts for people who show symptoms, which she certainly does. So check it out http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/ Check out this specific area, I bet you if you read some posts, they'll start ringing a bell http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/i...5f9&board=11.0 could give you great pointers. If you think this really applies to her I have awesome books for you! <3

I did actually think about that. My step sons mother has BPD but she got diagnosed and has been seeking help (Makes everything so much easier)
The only reason I don't think this applies to my mother in law is because this change in her has occurred over the last couple of months. Though I don't know if BPD is something that just pops up one day or not. I think it may have something to do with illicit substances (she spent sometime in jail recently for possession and selling)

[Meridian Mer-Gyver]

I am not the admin of this page, it was started yesterday and I totally support and back it! If you have been burned, ripped off, or left out to dry then join this group and lets make voice a pod of voice to be heard! Ps. You can also report their page as a scam, if a company is continuing to take money from its clients and NOT delivering on any promises, then it is a SCAM and its ILLEGAL

https://www.facebook.com/phishphanny

[Phoenix Mermaid]

Ok so my grandma passed away yesterday. The entire process has been pretty terrible, and me, being the grandCHILD!, has gotten dragged into and is pretty much acting as one of her children. Helping make the hospital choices and life decision for her. She's got 7 children, and only my father has done anything to deal with any of this. Although she wasn't really on speaking/good terms with any of her other children. And I feel like my uncle is making hits at me on facebook, posting things like "not even a funeral?... hope our children do us the same way" and posting photos like "if you have to hide what you are doing from someone, then you know in your heart what you are doing is wrong."

1st of all! grandma didn't even want you to know! She doesn't like you, and as far as she was concerned you took her granddaughter away from after you dumped her on grandma when she was only a baby for about 14yrs. Then you go through CPS to get her taken way to get her back, then tell her lies about it. And from what many people in our family say your a pedophile! who molested your own sister, nieces and elderly people who can't help themselves! Some even suspected you did that to your own children! Grandma was sick with discuss from you. She was disgraced to have you as a child. And the name you go by! That's not even your God-given name, she gave you! Instead you use the name of a deceased child because your hiding! Fucking Despicable! How is anyone going to find you to notify you of grandma being sick or passing when you don't even use your real name! Whatever! Like i said she didn't want you to know anyways! The only reason you know is because I thought your daughter deserved to know because my grandma raised your daughter!

2ndly Yes there will be no funeral! Because if you had been there with her you would know that, she DID NOT WANT a funeral. All she wanted was to be with grandpa once she passed! That is ALL! Even If it means she won't get the exact type of burial she wanted. Somehow, she'll be with grandpa in the end! That's all she really wanted. SO how dare you speak on that! You could of been there when grandpa passed! Especially since grandma humbled herself and asked you to be there(not something she does often or freely, she was very stubborn and often held grudges) What did you tell her? NO! You said NO! And as far as she was concerned since you didn't want to be there for grandpa she didn't want you there for her!
You don't know what she wanted! You were never there, never lifted a finger for her! When was the last time you even saw grandma? That's right, some 16yrs ago or so... You had all that time to come visit her, but never did. The only time you spoke with her is when you called to ask her to give you money!

How DARE you speak on her funeral or anything I've done for her as a granddaughter to honor her last wishes! Because as far as i see it, I'M THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING FOR HER, besides my dad, TO HONOR HER WISHES! I was there before she got sick, while she got sick, and all through her dying! I went to visit with her whenever I could. It wasn't very often but still she KNEW I at LEAST TRIED to see her whenever I could! And for what I did for her, what very little I did for her!, she was so grateful to have someone love her with her faults like I did! And for that she left me everything! And nothing to her children. Let's see you shit a brick when (and if) you find that out. You won't find out from me though... I did you a favor by letting your daughter know of your mother's passing because I knew she would let you know (it wasn't my grandma's wishes for you to know, and I'm sorry you do know but.... your daughter, she is my cousin, i grew up with her, i love her<3 ) But I will do you no more favors.
How dare you make me feel anything, because of anything you do!


ugh i'm sorry that was so long and terrible guys. i've been struggling for months with an unmedicated mental illness and then dealing with this the last few months. and yesterday was just the icing on the cake. i just had to say something about it to someone or somewhere because i feel like i'm going a little crazy

[Phoenix Mermaid]

i feel a little better now though

[PearlieMae]

i feel a little better now though

Phoenix, I am so sorry for your loss and that you are being put though all this. Sometimes family are the absolute worst. I hope everything smooths out for you, soon. <3

[Mermaid Syrena]

Phoenix-That sounds horrible. I cannot even begin to understand, but I can certainly imagine it. Poor baby. *hugs tight* Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You ARE doing the right thing, you have nothing to feel bad about.