A Guide to Unwanted Contact: Merverts, Trolls, Collectors, and more with list

[AniaR]

Okay folks, there has been a recent surge in the community of online sexual harassment. So much so that many of you here and on facebook have requested I do up a thread. So this is my guide to dealing with that type of harassment.

There's been a lot of requests for a list of know harassers and I have decided that I will post the ones I'm dealing with and encourage you to post yours. But there will be rules, as I don't want people to just throw someone up without any proof or reasoning as away to harass them.

So let's start with the guide part:

Mervert: a person who utilizing social networking or email, contacts people in the mermaid community with sexually explicit messages that are not consensual or welcomed, projects their fetish onto an unconsenting party, solicits minors or children in an inappropriate way, and is typically doing this behaviour to many people in the community. Though sometimes they make pick just one.

Collector: A collector can go either way. A collector may be a person who though they aren't involved in the mermaid community enjoys it and enjoys mermaids. A collector can be totally respectful but sometimes people get a bit weirded out by them collecting so many mers.
A collector may also end up being a mervert. A collector may also be someone who steals images and copyrighted material. If you are posting about a collector, please be sure they aren't just harmless people who enjoy mermaids

Trolls/Other: Sometimes we have people who aren't being sexually rude but are still quote harassing. This can be a bombardment of strange/suspicious questions, clearly lying to you, or just general weird behavior that makes your nervous.

How to deal:

Stop engaging. Report Behaviour. Block. Repeat.
This is the best formula for dealing with these people.

Often we get mad and want to tell them off (I know I do). But they love the attention! So stop talking to them as soon as they cross a line with you. If they are breaking a rule of a social website, sexually harassing you, harassing you, our putting a child at risk, report their profile. Block them. They may have multiple accounts and you may need to block those accounts. And keep doing that. Post a warning on your profile if you see the person has mutual friends with you, or post here with your proof. If the person has stolen your stuff or posted without permission, report them as well.

I'd also like to make the point that if you see a huge amount of complaints here but have not had an issue yourself, you may still consider deleting the person. Mers often look to mutual friends/contacts as a way of validating that a person is OK even if they seem off. I was approached once when a man I didnt even realize was on my friend's list did some bad stuff. I was asked if I could vouche for him. Hell no!

Complaints Rules:

Here is where I invite people to write their complaints about users who do this. I will attempt to regulate this so that people arent wrongfully blacklisted in the following way:

1. You must put your name to a complaint please. This is helpful when multiple mers offer up their complaint and validates the complaint against the person. You'll see how I have my template down below and as people tell me their complaints here I will post them. No anon complaints. It allows people to manipulate.

2. You must post your experiences not just say ____ is a mervert. You have to explain why you feel they fall into the category. "I don't like them" or "they seem off" is not enough.

3. Whenever possible you must provide proof. Screen shots are great (Im on my tablet right now so I will edit this with my computer to include my screen shots). I will link to your proof in the template. This way people can still judge for themselves. Sometimes you dont have screenshots because you act quickly to block a person or maybe this was a past experience. I understand that but I ask you to still be as descriptive as possible. I still encourage you to post but the person will not be added to the master list in this post if no one provides proof or helps back you up.

4. If you get caught falsifying information, I'll suggest to the mods that you be suspended. Because falsifying this kinda awful stuff to make someone look bad is a form of harassment. I will also personally investigate as many cases as I can or add my own personal experiences to validate things whenever possible.

5. Links to accounts are very helpful as well.

6. The purpose of this list is not to digitally lynch mob a person. It's so you can block them and report any inappropriate behaviour and keep yourself safe. We do not encourage any form of return harassment, trolling, or stalking.


GENERAL DISCLAIMER

The following list has been built by community contribution through personal negative experiences. Every effort has been made to provide proof but it is up to the reader to judge for themselves who they think is an appropriate person to speak with or block. The purpose of this list is not to slander, but to offer proof of serious situations in an effort to provide safety in the mermaid community. If a person has been found to have been put on the list in error... they will be removed.


OFFICIAL COMPLAINTS LIST:


Person: Gordon Shagene
Status: Mervert, collector
Complaint: has about 10 alt profiles, all with sexually explicit images all over the timeline. Often writes sexual comments on photos. Has been attempting to communicate with minors in the mer community. Collects multiple mer accounts.
Proof: Pop him into facebook and you can see his multiple accounts and timeline activity. I have several moms come to me in the mer community about him contacting their underaged daughters (the moms monitor the daughters profiles/fanpages) as part of my proof I encourage you moms to post here simply validating that this happened. I've had many people in the mer community come to me about him. You can see people complaining about him on my post here. (https://www.facebook.com/raina.mer.5/posts/1456693717942340)
Reported by: Raina, Fifi Fogg, Greg Ampton, (according to FB posts and messages) add your name to this list by posting your experience with him in the thread.
Why he's on the list: has clear sexual intentions for mermaids that has made many of us uncomfortable, uses multiple accounts when we block him, totally inappropriate for him to be addressing minors, inappropriate comments on facebook.
Links:
(I cant post all his links because I have several of his accounts blocked. If you have other links please post them.)
https://www.facebook.com/gordon.shagene.9
https://www.facebook.com/gordon.shagene.54

Kyle Shoop:
Status: Collector, Troll/Harasser
Complaint: As documented on my Raina Mer FB account by personal experiences of members in the community, and as documented in the "Stupid Youtube Comments" thread, Kyle has approached many mers here with the exact same story. He lives in their area. He wants to wear their tail. He will give them money for it. He wants to come see them in their area.
Proof: See screencaps in the youtube comments thread (http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?6271-Stupid-Youtube-comments-part-2!!!&highlight=stupid+youtube), and Raina's Mer FB link (https://www.facebook.com/raina.mer.5/posts/1456693717942340)
Reported by: Raina, Fifi Fogg, Lily-Rose, Jessica Mer, Chrissy West, Melanie Long, Greg Ampton, Odette
Why he's on the list: For starters it's just plain harassment. From the screen caps and comments you can see he doesn't really stop. He's lying about being where everyone lives, and is bothering mermaids for their tails. Many feel scared, threatened or nervous by his repeated mentioning of living near them and wanting to see them. It has the potential to become a dangerous situation.
Links:
(I've blocked Kyle, if you have his link please post it so I can add it)

Craig Bohn:
Status: Collector, possible mervert, fraud
Complaint: Craig adds everyone, and then says he can teach them breath holding continuously and spams it on their pages and in groups. When asked about what qualifies him to teach breath holding he has no training or certification or anything to verify that he even does it himself. Many mers have felt his intentions are sexual as it's been reported to me that he has offered to webcam with them and asked them to send him videos or money.
Proof: I do not have any personal proof beyond having him solicit me for breath holding lessons and not being able to find a shred of proof about his ability to do so. He did ask me years ago to send him videos but I don't have screen shots. If no one is able to provide their own experiences/proof I will take him down but for now there has been enough witnesses to his behaviour that I feel it warrants a warning. Una complains about him here (https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1504749326432607&id=100006926626779) and people validate her complaint. You can also see people's complants on my thread
Reported by: Raina, Luma (validates that he contacted her about it) Una the Mermaid, and anyone who has viewed his posts in all the mermaid groups, odette, Vanessa More, Lorelei
Why he's on the list: basically because enough people have messaged me about him, and I see the potential for sexual harassment. It's also dangerous that he's wanting to train people when he doesnt have qualifications.
Links:
I have him blocked so if you have his links please post and I'll add.


Paul parr (Links to his facebook)
(https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004207696361)Reposts everyone's photos, including ones with children. Collects mermaids. See posts in the thread for more info.

Sam Knight (also goes by Mike Holloway)
has an open police file on him, keeps trying to lure mermaids to his home STAY AWAY see posts in this thread for more info.

Markeau Fauvebe
Seems to be a collector who collects mermaids and photos. Reposts etc. See posts in thread for more info.

Gregory Podolski
Member of many mermaid groups, makes threatening comments about rape and murder to mermaids. See photos in the thread.

hoppy2510 on instagram
Underwater fetish dude who makes a lot of lewd requests of mermaids

Issac Mac Brown
Keeps trying to get mermaids to date him, will send you his phone number

Redouana Bensot
Posts porn on mermaid's pages

John parker
keeps asking to feel your tummy (ew)

I would like people to try and follow this template and I will copy and paste into the list. If you can add any info/proof/experiences with the people already in this list I will edit so it's included and everything is linked.

There are some bad youtube accounts too that I know we've all been harassed by so please feel free to document stuff outside of just facebook.

One final disclaimer: This is not a witch hunt. But we deserve to feel safe in our community. People get black listed from communities like ours all the time for behaviours like this. Convention communities, cosplay, gaming, etc all maintain blacklists of people who have a negative reputation based on similar findings. Sexual harassment is a huge problem in the mermaid world and we have the right to speak out about it. The harasser is the one in the wrong. Not us for talking about. but as it's been stated, if there is nothing to substantiate your claims a person will not be added. And if you falsify anything it'll be my strong recommendation you be suspended for it.

[shimmygoddess]

Craig Bohn has contacted me as well, first a poke (LOL), then a pm offering his services and wanting to be friends, then I got a friend request as well.
https://www.facebook.com/craig.bohn1?fref=ts

[PearlieMae]

THANK YOU! :clap:

[AniaR]

Im trying to be as civil as possible but really... why the hell do we tiptoe around these guys? :p

[Mermaid Danielle]

I think this is a very good idea, Raina. I was recently contacted by one of the people mentioned above and didn't think anything of it at the time since the message on my facebook was short, non-harassing, and seemed genuine. I didn't pursue the contact further since I don't have time for classes, but hearing a warning about this person now twice in one day (from two different mers and on different sites) is enough to keep me on guard. Thanks again for all that you are doing for the community!

[Mermaid Lorelei]

I have been approached by Craig Bohen as well (on my personal account, no less).

[AniaR]

I think this is one of the schemes people like this pull personally. I have seen youtube users who are nice to me sexually harass younger mers. Much like when dealing with sexual harassers in real life, just because they aren't doing it to you specifically doesnt mean they are a safe person. Everyone is free to make their own decisions about people based on their experience and any evidence they see... but as I said above you can unintentionally be vouching for a person by having them on your friend's list. So it's always important to give it some consideration. :)

[Fifi Tigg]

I have also banned this person below because he kept wanting to chat to me and when I said I dont know you and don't wish to speak to a stranger he got very angry! I don't have the message because it was deleted months ago.
https://www.facebook.com/donasteke

I have also banned men from my daughters page for either messaging her or writting wierd things on her photo's etc :( I dont have the proof because I have banned them and deleted the messages, but I will pop them up here and you can do with the information what you like.
https://www.facebook.com/kristian.hove.1?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser
https://www.facebook.com/lenfantdesreves?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser
https://www.facebook.com/philippe.stjean.9?fref=pb&hc_location=profile_browser

[AniaR]

yes one of the issues here is after we ban people we can't access messages or comments. But sometimes you can't wait to ban. That's why it's important we collect multiple statements and why screencaps are not the only evidence I'll accept.

[Vanessa Moore]

Thank you so much for posting the link to here on FB today. Craig Bohn also contacted me about helping me with breath hold. He just seemed a little too friendly and kept calling me 'dear' and 'my friend' and also contacted me first by poke. It seems to be an MO. If I hadn't decided to click your link and read it, I would not have known to block him.

[Mermaid Galene]

Thanks so much for this, Raina! I have not yet been approached by a mervert, but it's the scariest thing about entering into this profession.

[ivoryleopard]

Has anyone else ran into Steve Smith or Stevie Smith? He has more than one account and also runs one of the mermaid groups on Facebook. He's definitely a collector and for my tastes, a mervert as well. None of his pics on his FB account are his and they range from mermaid pics to synchronized swimming (a lot of these are of teen girls of women in their early 20s and doing splits). As for the mermaid pics, he loves tagging himself in photos and also steals photos to "help promote mermaids". If you confront him about him using your pics without your permission, he gets angry with you and boots you out of the mermaid group he manages and pulls the victim move by saying "he was only trying to help you get famous as a mermaid" or something like that. I haven't had any communication with him since about 2012ish.

[AniaR]

There have been issues for years with him stealing photos and tagging himself and back in the day being inappropriate

[ivoryleopard]

The last time I looked at his page, the new photos are of swimmers. I don't know if he's still bothering mermaids other than making the newer mers admins of his Mermaids are Best group but I'd be wary of him.

[AniaR]

there's a few threads on him here too. with old evidence. I havent heard of him doing anything recently so I didnt add him to the list. so if people have NEW proof and would like to post it I will. Otherwise it looks to me like he might of changed his ways

[Greg]

This person is not a Mervert but a troller who also happens to be un supervised and probably a very bored and lonely 11 year old girl that approached me using an Esther Mer face book account claiming to be her "Auntie" who then solicited me for a photography shoot in the San Francisco area. When certain details of our conversation came in question I approached a close friend in the mer community, relating the business proposal. I was then informed that this a minor who has a history of harassing other mermaids as well as giving out her own personal information. This little girl is very persistent and it's my understanding that she also goes by the name Angelia Lanterns
I can provide screen caps of the conversation on request by the administration.

[Odette]

The kyle guy has harassed me any my non-mermaid friends as well as family! I am livid! Didn't mention anything about tails but was working towards it with messages about his friends daring him to wear girl stuff? Craig bohn recently bugged me and poked me on my personal non-mermaid account too.

[AniaR]

Greg- that situation has been addressed here already by the mods. She's a kid and yes her behaviour is inappropriate, but it's best to block her and be on your way

[Mermaid Melusinah]

THANK YOU for finally posting this. I have been saying this about that Gordon guy for a LONG time. he had a brief run in with Morticia about a year ago.
he is friends with a HUGE part of our community on at least ONE of his 6-8 profiles. If you havent blocked him yet, you NEED to. he's a very disturbed man... :/

Thank you for posting this list. I was just warning another mermaid close to me on my friends list about this sort of thing! im going to send her this link

[SeaGlass Siren]

This list. Like so much.

Except I rather much prefer the witch hunt idea.

[Greg]

Greg- that situation has been addressed here already by the mods. She's a kid and yes her behaviour is inappropriate, but it's best to block her and be on your way

I'm sorry wasn't aware that it was addressed here. Anyway she's been blocked so moving on

[AniaR]

no worries

[Starfrit]

Thankfully I haven't had any run-ins of my own with any merverts (don't have a mermaiding FB page yet, no tail yet, no pics/video... Basically no "bait" to attract these types in the first place), but I can vouch that I've seen Craig Bohn posting about his breath hold lessons on the NC Merfest Facebook group page. Didn't think much of it at the time, though I was curious when people had jumped in on his posts basically trying to veer people away from messaging him. Now this makes sense— I had no idea that aquaphiles/breath hold fetishists were even a thing until recently.

If you wouldn't mind, Raina, I could volunteer to help out with any investigative work that may need to be done on future cases, as well as help with compiling lists/evidence and whatnot. "Merverts" are a relatively new concept to me, but I used to do similar alt-tracking and character investigations in a previous fandom keeping track of trolls, scam artists, pedophiles and animal-abusers. I don't imagine this would be much different. :P

[Mermaid Adriel]

THANK YOU for this, Raina :thumbs-up:
I've just removed Gordon, even if I was thinking to do this for a long time because I had the impression he was a pedophile. He never messaged to me luckily, but I need to feel safe.

Anyway, here's Kyle's profile:
https://www.facebook.com/kyle.shoop.1?fref=ts

[Anahita]

I removed Gordon recently, too after it came to my attention that he was harassing underage mers. He's never personally done anything to me (likely because when he tried to initiate conversations with me I just never bothered with them since he looked boring to me) but knowing that he has harassed kids before was enough for me to get rid of him.
I had a run in with what may or may not have been a mervert a few months ago. Basically he straight up asked me to have sex with him. BUT I'm doubting that he was actually a mervert versus just a disgusting pig because while he was friends with a few mers and seemed to like nautical stuff (a lot of ships and stuff on his page) he didn't really press the mermaid matter, or even mention it.
It was likely a cultural based sexual harassment rather than mer-based because for whatever reason Arab men (which is what he was) think they can just sexually harass Iranian women whenever the mood strikes them. I deal with it on a regular basis on my non-mer account constantly. I was just surprised to see it on my mer-FB that day.
I'll go back and check my messages when I get the chance to see if what he said was mermaid based or not. If it's specifically mer-related, then I'll post again with screencaps and his name and FB. If not, I won't, because in that situation he's not targeting the community, so you'll likely not have any run-ins with him.

[AniaR]

I have found a huge amount of Arab men send me friend requests and have needed to be removed from my fan Page due to sexualy forward comments.

Tieri youre more than welcome to post anything you find. That's the whole idea here. Anyone can add their experience or what they've witnessed along with any proof.

[Anahita]

I have found a huge amount of Arab men send me friend requests and have needed to be removed from my fan Page due to sexualy forward comments.


Yep. There's a reason we call them "taazi" in my language.

[AniaR]

My 'other' folder for messages is filled with them lol

[Anahita]

Omg :doh: aren't they f*****g irritating? I swear three times a week I get solicited to move to Dubai. And a dozen times a week I get BS about sex and webcamming.

Lol. No thanks, dude. I didn't have to do it to escape Iran (which is sadly common, Iranian girls getting out of Iran via sex trafficking to Dubai) I'm definitely not going to do it now that I'm safely out of that hell hole.

Fair warning to all female members here, I guess. Unless you know the Arab guy in person, don't take his random FB friend request; especially if you have numerous pictures of you in shell tops or anything that an Arab man will misconstrue as "immodest" because they'll take that as license to treat you like a... Mmmm, what's the nicest way to put it? "Working" girl. :eyeroll:

Also, apologies if it sounds racist what I said. I don't know a more polite way to say it though. I'm really just speaking on personal experience. And I know mers are very friendly, open, and nice people, and sadly those are the very type of people who they like to take advantage of.

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ im not the only person who feels that way. My "other"inbox on Facebook is also filled with them but it stopped right after I changed my profile picture of me and my husband :/

[Chrissy]

This is a great start, I have a feeling we maybe adding more people to this list!! There are 2 German men that have tried to contact me using FB and at first I was nice, but when things start getting weird that is when I ignore them and report. I actually had one German man call me, so I have taken my phone number off now! Midwest Merman Steve seems to be harmless, I get message from him every now and then and it is a smiley face, and maybe he says how nice I look in a picture but nothing else. As long as it stays simple with him I will be fine, but if the comments go any further then that block and report.
My amazing husband/mer wrangler does such a great job assisting me in real life but he gets a bit worried in the cyber world. I told him we are doing the best we can and trying to keep everyone informed of the issues we are having with certain people and the more we can I for each other the safer we will all be!!!

[AniaR]

if anyone wants to add more people to the master list I need you to try and fill out the template the way I set it up. Give as much info as possible, links, and wherever possible screen shots.

IF YOU HAVE ALSO EXPERIENCES SOMETHING FROM A PERSON POSTED ABOUT HERE... please validated your other mers by chiming in. Just like in court. the more witnesses the better a case we can build to blacklist someone.

I blocked all of Gordon's accounts AND HE MADE MORE and is now going on a spree across my pages. For the very reason alone of avoiding blocks by making multiple accounts he should be up here, let alone all the accounts of him talking to kids etc.

[AniaR]

Question: Has anyone had experiences with this guy? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004171744314

I've had a few people message me but all they say is "he is a mervert". I've asked them all for their experiences/evidence but no one has gotten back to me yet. His profile seems pretty normal, he only has a few mers on it.

[AniaR]

23555

[Mermaid Adriel]

Not really mervert, but I've recently received a message from a girl who said that my photos were on a porn site so sent me a link; in reality, the link was a phishing site.
I know this experience is happened to other mers.

[Echidna]

Question: Has anyone had experiences with this guy? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004171744314

He sent me a request recently, but I declined because I didn't quite like the profile.

Concerning Arab guys, when I was new to FB, I accepted most friend requests and got a ton of them, however none of them ever sent me weird message, and no one made untoward comments.
Most, if not all of them are divers, owners of dive clubs, or in other ways involved with the ocean, that's why I accepted them, and I haven't had a single bad experience.

The only ones I weeded out are those that at some point turned out to be spearfishers (not keen on murderers in my friendslist, tyvm).

Given your experiences, I find that a bit odd.
But I also don't get any dumb comments on my youtube vids, so maybe I just don't fall into the "fair game-mer" category :p

[AniaR]

Not really mervert, but I've recently received a message from a girl who said that my photos were on a porn site so sent me a link; in reality, the link was a phishing site.
I know this experience is happened to other mers.

I had that happen last year too it was a fake fb account.

[Mermaid Danielle]

Question: Has anyone had experiences with this guy? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004171744314

I've had a few people message me but all they say is "he is a mervert". I've asked them all for their experiences/evidence but no one has gotten back to me yet. His profile seems pretty normal, he only has a few mers on it.

I was recently contacted by him, via a friend request (which I will ignore after his message) and a message. The message made me a bit uncomfortable, but so far it is the only one he's sent, so I haven't blocked him yet. If it continues though I will.23606

[AniaR]

Ugh that be enough for me to block him

[Mermaid Danielle]

I try to give people the 'benefit of doubt', and usually wait for two or three occurrences to establish a pattern that I know I do not want to be apart of. Though, based off of everything that I'm reading from other mers, that process is probably going to come back and bite me in the fin. It might be time for a change in my personal policy on that...

[Morticia Mermaid]

I can chime in for the whole Gordon thing. I had a MAJOR string of issues last year with him. Stalked me across several different FB pages (including trying repeatedly to add my personal page, even AFTER blocking every single one I could find), posted lude comments, sent lude/perverted messages to me :/ . I still keep getting notifications of him liking my pages, and am still constantly having to block him. I've lost count of how many accounts I have blocked from him. I've reported him to FB several times for harassment, but he just keeps making more accounts

[Mermaid Wesley]

I try to give people the 'benefit of doubt', and usually wait for two or three occurrences to establish a pattern that I know I do not want to be apart of. Though, based off of everything that I'm reading from other mers, that process is probably going to come back and bite me in the fin. It might be time for a change in my personal policy on that...

As far as Internet relationships go, don't be trusting. In person you have more wiggle room and more of an ability to judge character, online you're safer, but so are they. Ya feel?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AniaR]

Yup internet losers bank on people who will be trusting

[SeaGlass Siren]

Contact his wife. End of story.

[Mermaid Melusinah]

Omg :doh: aren't they f*****g irritating? I swear three times a week I get solicited to move to Dubai. And a dozen times a week I get BS about sex and webcamming.

Lol. No thanks, dude. I didn't have to do it to escape Iran (which is sadly common, Iranian girls getting out of Iran via sex trafficking to Dubai) I'm definitely not going to do it now that I'm safely out of that hell hole.

Fair warning to all female members here, I guess. Unless you know the Arab guy in person, don't take his random FB friend request; especially if you have numerous pictures of you in shell tops or anything that an Arab man will misconstrue as "immodest" because they'll take that as license to treat you like a... Mmmm, what's the nicest way to put it? "Working" girl. :eyeroll:

Also, apologies if it sounds racist what I said. I don't know a more polite way to say it though. I'm really just speaking on personal experience. And I know mers are very friendly, open, and nice people, and sadly those are the very type of people who they like to take advantage of.

Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!

[Raayvhen]

^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!

[Chrissy]

Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.

[Anahita]

Oh no I totally know what you mean. I used to be employed under Turkish men for a home remodeling company. I can validate everything you say here. It's very true... it just feels that they don't value women very much. I, even as an AMERICAN woman, felt very oppressed and judged in the work place. Ultimately, I quit. I wasn't going to tolerate it!


^Don't get me started about the family of a Pakistani guy I dated. .. He was alright but his dad was crazy!

I don't know if I'm reading it with some misinterpretation, but you guys do realize that there's a difference between Turks, Pakistanis, Arabs, and for good measure just to fully clarify, Afghans, Iranians and Indians, right? I kind of suspect maybe not being able to make that distinction may have led to a lot of misinterpretation in interactions with those people that maybe made the situation feel crazy, oppressive, etc.

I had kind of derailed the thread earlier because my possible mervert to add to the list ended up just being a regular run of the mill perv like the type I deal with regularly. I'm sorry about that, but my words of advice on the matter were meant to be used with some moderate education and knowledge to prevent victimization, not start a discussion on what seems to be a misperception that all middle-eastern men are bad Arabs....

Being able to make that cultural distinction usually saves everyone a LOT of problems. If you can't make that distinction, of course they're going to treat you poorly, because they're assuming you're ignorant and don't deserve to be treated better because, well, you can't treat them with enough respect to know that they're not Arab and have practically nothing in common with Arab culture, with the exception of possibly a religion. Which is 180 from someone thinking you need to be treated poorly based on gender. I see women think this a lot, and I suspect that it's because they both bring up culture a lot more in an attempt to show they're open and understanding and so inadvertently make themselves look bad, and also because they don't see that men get treated just as badly for this mistake because men just don't make the opportunity to mention it as much.

I hope this helps with future interactions. I know from personal experience none of these ethnicities, with the exception of the Arab men, have ever been rude or cruel to me, or given me unwanted advances. I have, however, seen them be MASSIVE jerks to my American friends, both men and women, and it usually starts right about the time someone hears they're Pakistani/Turk/Iranian/Afghan/Indian and then promptly asks "so do you speak Arabic?" Or says "I love hummus!" Or forgets and then calls them Arab layer on. Or something to that effect.

Ok, end lecture. Sorry, I felt it might help y'all down the line.

[Anahita]

Any guy telling me that I am a "sexy" mermaid is grounds for blocking. There are so many other adjectives that could be used that don't send red flags up for me.

Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go

[PearlieMae]

Anahita, you ROCK!

[Mermaid Wesley]

Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!


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[Merman Arion]

Yeah, sexy is pretty much a red flag. It makes the person's intentions pretty obvious from the get-go

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

[Merman Arion]

Heck, I would even say that PearlieMae is sexy because she DOES look amazing in her tail! :)
Truth to be told, I never thought and used the word "sexy" to express an opinion in a sexual way. Until I read this thread, it never crossed my mind.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a l o t.


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[Merman Arion]

Yeah you kindof do get a free pass lol. But it also has to do with people popping up out if nowhere and saying "you're a sexy mermaid!" As the first thing they say to you. Which happens a lot.

Now that I think about it, I had some guys telling me I was quite a sexy merman when the photos of my first shooting came out but I took it as a compliment, replied "thank you" and I moved on. They never persisted but perhaps I just got lucky.

[Anahita]

Really?? I think I might have said "sexy" to you a bunch of time when we chatted together but I didn't get blocked :p

Does that mean I have an "out of jail" card because I'm gay? lol :lol:

Personally, I use "sexy" as a superlative to express how beautiful I find such mermaid but I understand the concerns of some who might take it as an offense.
Looking back, we (gays) use "sexy" a lot actually :thinks:

See, it's all about the semantics of it. You and me talk often, and we had a few conversations before you called me sexy, so I didn't think "omg wtf".

If the first thing you had ever said to me was "hey, you look sexy" I probably would have wondered who dropped you on your head. ;)

I also think I'm a bit sexist, and I totally have a different standard that I uphold gay men to, because regardless of the language they're speaking, I do actually anticipate, if not expect, the word "sexy" to come up with some frequency. French, Farsi, English... I just expect "sexy" to be used by a gay man the same way I would anticipate other Persians expecting me to behave abhorantly spoiled because I live in LA or super duper awesome-sauce nice because I'm Zoroastrian.

Semantics... And previous acquaintanceship. :)

[Anahita]

Anahita, you ROCK!

Thanks Pearlie! :hug:

[Winged Mermaid]

Anyone have any experience with a Christopher perry? He's been messaging me a bit and idk mild creepy vibes. Looks like he has a tail though.... Hm maybe he is just being nice. Now I've flipped from too trusting to too suspicious!!


He frequently contacts mermaids and comments on their content, and has been around for years. We're talking pre Mer.Yuku, back in the days of Seatails.ning and earlier. He does have a tail himself (very early Mertailor model). It's possible he's just lonely and socially awkward.. but he stalked me for over a year, even after I told him I was married, not at all interested, tried to put down boundaries, and even blocked him on various sites. He seems sweet in public comments (although creepy), but myself and other mermaids found he was very creepy and made sexual comments in PMs.

[AniaR]

Omg I should a put him on the list he asked every mermaid to be his girlfriend and even tried to offer to buy them tails if they'd date him.

[AniaR]

I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

[SeaGlass Siren]

Socially awkward merman looking for a girlfriend and keeps persisting even after you put up boundaries?

I think he needs to be educated. Seems slow. On the other hand we should put him on the list.

[Mermaid Adriel]

:nocomment:

[AniaR]

He's been educated for like 7 years he's not changing. If you wouldn't accept this behaviour from a guy on the street you shouldn't online either. It is harassment

[shimmygoddess]

I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

just saw this, Yes that name is very familiar. I cannot remember if he contacted me personally or if it was through our Mermaids of NC page. We had someone in that group last year and he as very inappropriate and I had to just delete him. I get alot of creepers due to bellydance stuff too and depending on which profile pictures I have up. There are a couple others, I wonder about, but not sure if they are in this forum....

[shimmygoddess]

okay I just checked back through my timeline for that FB group and yes it was Chris Perry. He was in our group back in July of last year and would post weird comments on our stuff and photos and wanting to get together...he not only creeped me out but some others, so I removed him from the group.

[Mermaid Melusinah]

I don't know if I'm reading it with some misinterpretation, but you guys do realize that there's a difference between Turks, Pakistanis, Arabs, and for good measure just to fully clarify, Afghans, Iranians and Indians, right? I kind of suspect maybe not being able to make that distinction may have led to a lot of misinterpretation in interactions with those people that maybe made the situation feel crazy, oppressive, etc.

I had kind of derailed the thread earlier because my possible mervert to add to the list ended up just being a regular run of the mill perv like the type I deal with regularly. I'm sorry about that, but my words of advice on the matter were meant to be used with some moderate education and knowledge to prevent victimization, not start a discussion on what seems to be a misperception that all middle-eastern men are bad Arabs....

Being able to make that cultural distinction usually saves everyone a LOT of problems. If you can't make that distinction, of course they're going to treat you poorly, because they're assuming you're ignorant and don't deserve to be treated better because, well, you can't treat them with enough respect to know that they're not Arab and have practically nothing in common with Arab culture, with the exception of possibly a religion. Which is 180 from someone thinking you need to be treated poorly based on gender. I see women think this a lot, and I suspect that it's because they both bring up culture a lot more in an attempt to show they're open and understanding and so inadvertently make themselves look bad, and also because they don't see that men get treated just as badly for this mistake because men just don't make the opportunity to mention it as much.

I hope this helps with future interactions. I know from personal experience none of these ethnicities, with the exception of the Arab men, have ever been rude or cruel to me, or given me unwanted advances. I have, however, seen them be MASSIVE jerks to my American friends, both men and women, and it usually starts right about the time someone hears they're Pakistani/Turk/Iranian/Afghan/Indian and then promptly asks "so do you speak Arabic?" Or says "I love hummus!" Or forgets and then calls them Arab layer on. Or something to that effect.

Ok, end lecture. Sorry, I felt it might help y'all down the line.

I totally see your point here. And no they were in fact Turkish. They established that fact with GREAT pride like the moment they met me for my interview. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Race and religion iis never a factor for me ever. Until, like my former employers did, it is made a factor and I am treated poorly as a result. However, every person is different. I try not to generalize and judge, but it does cause me to be cautious around others.

I really hope my post didnt come across as ignorant or offensive, as was NOT my intentions!

And lets get this train back on tracks! CHOO CHOO!!!! :D :D

[NerineArcticMermaid]

Ok. So first off. I tried to do this very thing not to long back and was shot down. so I'm kinda miffed that it's ok for it now..why wasn't the list ok. back then? When I had mentioned this Gordon guy and Chris Perry. Could have saved about of mers trouble if dealing with them.

Yes. I've had dealings with Chris and Gordon. Both asking inappropriate stuff but since it's been at least a year or two more I dint revert specifics. Maybe MY original mervet thread is still up. I may have included the info there.

[NerineArcticMermaid]

http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?5008-Creepers-Mer-verts-collectors
Here's the original thread I started with others complaints. And as you can see it was shot down as a bad idea back then.

[AniaR]

I decided to redo it with an actual template with qualifications as per original concerns that were voiced. No need to be miffed. I tweaked it so it would work and we've all been personally posting lists to fb pretty much since the Mer community started. Its not like your thread was deleted or people weren't warned about these guys. People have been warning about these guys forever. It doesn't have to be a big showdown about starting a thread neriene. People have been documenting this stuff for years and back on yuku and in yahoo groups. I just added structure to address people's concerns about the problems it can cause.

[AniaR]

So instead how about a " hey I'm glad people have come around to this idea. Here's a thread I started a while back with info! "

People have reposted my ideas on new threads dozens of times. A polite post with a link back is all you need.

[AniaR]

Rereading the thread I know I've addressed the points and concerns about misuse from back then. We've posted proof. Witnesses. And we've seen that some of these guys who were harmless ended up not being that way at all

[Mermaid Jessica Pearl]

I just had the experience of having my Page liked by all of the accounts of one of these people. He then liked a photo of a mer and a child that had been posted by the mother. The mother went to his Page to see who this stranger was. His profile was very unsavoury. She was very worried. I blocked him off everything but it is something I really don't want my fans associating me with!

[SeaGlass Siren]

This is probably just me but to be doubly sure they don't attempt to contact me, I contact their family members on their Facebook to warn them "are u aware your spouse is doing this? Can you tell him to stop? And then I block.

but I'm just evil :| I have no problem humiliating them.

[Merman Arion]

This is probably just me but to be doubly sure they don't attempt to contact me, I contact their family members on their Facebook to warn them "are u aware your spouse is doing this? Can you tell him to stop? And then I block.

but I'm just evil :| I have no problem humiliating them.

You know the usual saying, "Karma is a bitch". They have to deal with the consequences.

Just don't mess with mermaids. Plain and simple.

[AniaR]

I had a stalker and contacted all of his family. He was local. NO ONE EVEN READ MY MESSAGES. I personally dont find it works.

There has to be a way to actually contact someone at FB ugh. I tried to report his profile (Gordon) but it just prompts you to block him. I reported his sexual timeline and FB didn't care. But you know.. watch out for Hannah Fraser's boobs -_-

[SeaGlass Siren]

get his mother's number. i recently had an ex friend stalk my other friend after they broke up and i told him to back the fuck off because he was very persistent and didn't understand that he's not wanted. we threatened to call the cops and put a restraining order on him and he cried "bully" on us when HE'S the one doing the stalking. so we called his mother and it shut him up. sometimes messages online can be missed so you have to actually make the effort to call them and tell them you mean business instead of hiding behind the monitor, yknow? :|geez. makes it harder on us.

[Chrissy]

Let me re state this, the use of "sexy" sends red flags up for me (personally) when I see someone out of the blue on my FB telling me that. That kind of puts my senses up!

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ same with me, you're not the only one.

[AniaR]

yup. if you wouldnt feel comfortable with someone doing that to you in person, a random stranger, then it isnt appropriate on fb either

[Mermaid Danielle]

Decided to block him and some of the others whose messages made me uncomfortable. After talking to my sisters and parents, and hearing everyone's thoughts here, I agree that it's just not worth dealing with harassment.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts on the matter! :)

[Chrissy]

Gordon Shagene just liked my page with 4 different accounts this morning, I blocked them all

[SeaGlass Siren]

judging from his (unblocked and adult) content, i think that was a VERY SMART decision :\

[AniaR]

After reading through the thread I just want to caution people that contacting friends/family of the individual could be seen as reverse harassment or revenge trolling. I think there's only a small space in which that would be appropriate and I think it falls under people who are underaged or suspected of having a mental disorder that makes them delayed developmentally. I have to strongly advise against it as per the rules we set up for the thread. The purpose of this thread is to identify who people are so we can personally block communication from them, and if needed, report them to the authorities.

Thanks for your understanding :)

[SeaGlass Siren]

Duly noted. (but, i do it anyway.)

[AniaR]

I just wanna give an example of some comments I get. Not rude or harassing, but I always think it's weird some men think this is appropriate. It's like internet cat calling to me. You don't know me at all. I just find it weird and makes me uncomfortable. I wont respond to people like this. lol

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[Echidna]

ah yes, I get tons of "conversation starters" like that.

Especially the "hi there beautiful" and such I really don't get.
What exactly is my incentive to respond to that? lol.

and the millions of "pokes", what's up with that?
Am I expected to look up the pokers, find them interesting, and poke them back, or what?
Do they realize how many pokes I get, and that I would be sitting on FB all day if I tried to react to them?

[Mermaid Morgann]

Recently me and Mermaid Diona (Mermaid Lorelie lucked out) had some trouble with merverts. For me, it was a guy who came up to our giant clamshell and asked if he could cuddle. Now, I'd been "spooning" people all day as they would lay across the clam in front of me so I assumed that's what he meant and was cool with it. Nope. He laid down and wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. It didn't last more than a second but if I'd had enough time to respond it would not have been very pleasant of me. I was very happy to see him leave. I also have a stalker-ish ex who kept coming up to the booth and acting completely inappropriate to both myself and the other mermaids. Oh, what fun!

Then of course Mermaid Diona was on display at the end of day two of Comic Con, and a drunk man and his friend came over and harassed her. So glad we have some tough pirates working for us, because otherwise us poor mermaids probably wouldn't be able to keep ourselves from being slobbered all over and hit on by drunks at a convention.

[Mermaid Corabelle]

Recently me and Mermaid Diona (Mermaid Lorelie lucked out) had some trouble with merverts. For me, it was a guy who came up to our giant clamshell and asked if he could cuddle. Now, I'd been "spooning" people all day as they would lay across the clam in front of me so I assumed that's what he meant and was cool with it. Nope. He laid down and wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. It didn't last more than a second but if I'd had enough time to respond it would not have been very pleasant of me. I was very happy to see him leave. I also have a stalker-ish ex who kept coming up to the booth and acting completely inappropriate to both myself and the other mermaids. Oh, what fun!

Then of course Mermaid Diona was on display at the end of day two of Comic Con, and a drunk man and his friend came over and harassed her. So glad we have some tough pirates working for us, because otherwise us poor mermaids probably wouldn't be able to keep ourselves from being slobbered all over and hit on by drunks at a convention.




Oh my gosh.. he held you?!

My face when I read that: https://31.media.tumblr.com/8f013f1909edccdbb09868705d6459ec/tumblr_n8zlzuEtzy1tfljgho1_500.gif

That's just creepy... so crazy Merin! I wonder what makes people think it's okay to do these things. I bet they wouldn't consider trying something like that usually.. just because there's a mermaid around, people get stupid and try to push their limits. So direspectful! I'm glad you had Pirate Protectors on hand. I can only imagine the situations you'd swim into without them. Btw. I saw the giant clamshell on Siren Tide's facebook page. Where did you guys get that? So cool!

[Mermaid Morgann]

Oh my gosh.. he held you?!

My face when I read that: https://31.media.tumblr.com/8f013f1909edccdbb09868705d6459ec/tumblr_n8zlzuEtzy1tfljgho1_500.gif

That's just creepy... so crazy Merin! I wonder what makes people think it's okay to do these things. I bet they wouldn't consider trying something like that usually.. just because there's a mermaid around, people get stupid and try to push their limits. So direspectful! I'm glad you had Pirate Protectors on hand. I can only imagine the situations you'd swim into without them. Btw. I saw the giant clamshell on Siren Tide's facebook page. Where did you guys get that? So cool!



Yeah, that was my face too. My pirate on hand at that point made sure he didn't try anything funny real quick after that. It was shocking AND creepy. Caught me off guard. Cat-calling I get, by hugging and squeezing was definitely a first.

That's a funny story. The clam was actually my bed when I was a little girl. c:

[SeaGlass Siren]

personally would've told him off. but i tell a lot of people off. mainly wolf whistlers, honkers, cat callers.. because why the fuck. i don't even.

[AniaR]

Yes our merwranglers act like bouncers for us at events where people behave like that

[Mermaid Corabelle]

Merwranglers=Mermaid Bodyguards.

[Mermaid Corabelle]

That's a funny story. The clam was actually my bed when I was a little girl. c:


That's not funny.. that is SO cool! Was it made for you? How special! So you've always been a mermaid at heart I take it? :D

[Mermaid Morgann]

That's not funny.. that is SO cool! Was it made for you? How special! So you've always been a mermaid at heart I take it? :D



My bedroom had an oceanic wall mural painted and I slept in a clam. As a redhead, I'm a bit biased in the fact that Ariel is my favorite Disney Princess. I blame her for the fact that ever since I was a guppy I've been dreaming of becoming a real mermaid. <3 Hehehe!

Yeah, our Merwranglers are our Pirates, and they definitely make the most intimidating bouncers. Mermaid Nautia especially. Hahahaha!

[spottedcatfish]

Merwranglers are awesome. In the past Gordon Shagene has liked my page with multiple accounts and I kept blocking him. Christoper Perry messaged me once or twice too. I have not blocked him yet, as he hasn't messaged me since. The issue I have now is this Midwest Merman Steve person who went one step further and is following my personal (non-mer) profile, plus he's tried to add me as a friend which I have ignored and deleted the request. I don't need those people in my life!

[Mizuko]

My partner/mer-wrangler is an ex-bodyguard. It helps a lot.

[SeaGlass Siren]

not mermaid specific but today my friend and i were walking back from the neighbourhood convenience store back to her place and these construction workers kept cat calling us.. and by their fourth attempt i'm already was pretty irritated so i told them to "EXQUEEEZE ME WE AINT YO DOGS OK DON'T FUCKING CAT CALL US OR WHISTLE AT US" aaand that stopped.... until another girl walked by and they started cat calling at her :\ WTF.

and then one guy honked at us AND ROTATED HIS HEAD a full 90 degrees instead of paying attention to the road... and that did it for me.

"oh HELL NAH. LOOK THE OTHER WAY, SON, WE AIN'T INTERESTED."

BAH.

[PearlieMae]

Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. My daughter and I were walking in a local park when a middle aged guy, in his 40s, I guess, yelled at us from his moving car "can I party with you lovely ladies?"

My kid was ELEVEN! I told him, in no uncertain terms, to go f--- himself. I would have ground his teeth into the curb if I could have caught him.

[Starfrit]

I get "screamers" all the time when I'm out... I'll be walking down the road and someone will lean out their car window to scream things at me as they drive by... Usually really quick, vulgar things like "SUCK MY D***" or "SUP B****"... Which sometimes triggers panic attacks because I have issues with loud, sudden noises like that. :/ This kind of stuff happens SO OFTEN to women around here.

[Anahita]

Damn, I never realized how numb I am to that stuff. I don't even bat an eye anymore to cat-calls (mostly because it's SUPER easy for me to block out English since it's not my first language)

When I lived in Iran, guys cat-calling out of moving cars was so f*****g common place that I really just gave up trying to have comebacks to it. It was so much more of a *sigh* again dude? *head shake* thing. I mean, the god damned police used to do it to me. Not even kidding on that one. It happened three times I was walking home and the police tried to hit on me from their stupid green-sided car. The act of getting in a car and driving up and down the same damn street in a weak attempt to hit on girls is SO commonplace that we actually have a slang word for it.

:headwall:

Although, I will say even in Iran, no guy ever screamed at me to suck his d*** or actually made any overtly perverse comments. Well, with the exception of one police officer... Like, most of the cat calling was saying "Pretty girl! Do you want to get married?" (which is hard to explain culturally, because they aren't offering you a serious marriage, they're offering you a temporary one, which is totally legal in Iran, go figure...) or "Cutie! Come here! I want to talk to you!"

I am ashamed to admit that a few worked on me because, well, the guy was nice looking and the car was a good car. And in the end I usually ended up at a mehmooni with a few thousand extra tomans and some illegal alcohol. Lol (I was a bad kid. A cute one, but a bad one nonetheless). Once I got a santoor out of talking to a guy in a car, so.... Turns out he thought I was pretty and asked if I wanted it? I said sure, and he handed it to me and asked which coffee shop I went to regularly, and I told him and then he met me there and bought me coffee. Idk, I would never ever, EVER recommend it to anyone, because it's a great way to have something horrific to happen to you, both in Iran and abroad as well, but I guess I just got so used to crap being terrible I felt I had nothing to lose.... :doh:

[SeaGlass Siren]

i was desensitized to that stuff too when i was younger. eventually as i got older i grew real tired of their shit. :\

[Sherielle]

I used to be a kissing wench at a renaissance festival. This is where I would kiss a guy's cheek to leave lip prints and I would usually get tips. Pretty harmless, actually. But I learned early on to get a death grip on the guy's head because there were the punk asses who would try to turn their head at the last second to get a real kiss. Nope. Didn't let that happen. I've been groped and pinched as well, but I firmly took charge of the situation and they would stop. That experience has helped me deal with perverts in other times where I've had to be 'on display' at an event or party. You take charge, tell them the rules and don't let them get away with anything. We didn't have any handlers when wenching. Usually I was by myself. But I had a good sense on who I could play with and who to leave alone. I know with being a mermaid, you can't move away from a situation so thank the gods for merhandlers! lol.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

Wow, um.... Either I've never been one for looks, or I live in super-safe communities. I've never been cat-called or stalked by anyone online.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I get lucky too. I get a few creeps but I'm not harassed too often. It's not even about looks. Once I was cat called in sweatpants and a bun.... From behind. It's just about oh look a woman lets disrespect


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[Anahita]

Agreed. It's not about looks. I'm not THAT pretty. But I do know (when I lived in Iran at least) that I looked very "rural". Which meant easier target. In America, I look foreign.... Which again translates to easy target.

If an Anglo woman is going to be harassed and cat-called, a minority immigrant woman stands even less chance because the aggressor already is aiming to dehumanize you, so when you're by-default dehumanized by the media... Yeah...

[Echidna]

I've been harassed only a number of times in my life- every single time when I was sick/had a fever.

Never when I was feeling well.
Apparently (or so I heard behind my back), I have a "scary as hell"-look when not running a fever.
(not to mention, I'm perfectly capable of being my own merpunch-, er, wrangler.)

Or maybe, like Anahita said, it's about looking vulnerable, and someone who is ill certainly looks vulnerable.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I look mixed/ foreign :/ and regardless I what I'm wearing it happens. Though I've noticed it's reduced now since I've been wearing my weddings rings ..

[-Annwyn-]

I was explaining the other day to a co-worker of mine how I never swim alone for 'security reasons'. That I always like to have, at the very least another mer with me or my partner around She was actually shocked to hear of people acting anti-socially towards people like me and how deliriously stupid people get at the very notion of a simple mertail.

It's almost like seeing someone dressed as a mermaid triggers a synapse in their brain that reminds them of their Neanderthal roots or something.

That's why I really don't like events or crowds, preferring to swim during the week when pools are quiet (preferably early in the morning, with no children) and rarely ever/never during school holidays. Perhaps I just like my privacy. *shrugs*

[AniaR]

Annwyn^ I think I remember you posting before about a guy on youtube who wouldn't stop with the gross comments? I remembered I had experienced the same guy too. If you get a chance I'd love to have any screen caps if you still have them or even just a brief summary/his user name that other people could add to. I can't find the thread we discussed it in before. I don't have his comments anymore on my end, but I remember he was like bboy or something like that and particularly bad.

[Miyu]

Oh thank sweet merciful Poseidon for this thread... Raina this is a great idea, thank you so much for allowing a safe, calm place to list all this info for other mers to see... Gordon Shagene had "liked" my mer-page under three or four different accounts. I just removed them all and banned them permanently after reading this thread. Thankfully I still only have the one "photoshoot", so I haven't been attracting any pervy comments yet. I honestly don't care if mers are what floats your boat, but having a completely inappropriate profile and contacting minors is an automatic boot from me.

Craig Bohn apparently poked me on my personal account as well. I'm pretty sure that's the only contact I've had with him, but that's also because I have no in-water shoots yet, methinks.

Perverts aren't just relegated to modelling, either... I've gotten far, far more than my fair share of perverts harassing me for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I have mammary glands. It's kind of a regular thing, depending on where I'm at/who I'm with, but on the internet it happens pretty much constantly just because people can be jerks.


Anahita: You? Rural?!? :O_o:

[Mermaid Sirenia]

I had those experiences too. Anyone else for Perry??

He actually just contacted me on my page a few days ago, glad to know this!


~Mermaid Sirenia~

[Arella]

Can someone show/tell me how to block someone off a page? I can't find him under my users that like my page but he keeps messaging me. It's Christoper Perry so any help ASAP would be appreciated.

[Arella]

For background I'm not sure if he actually "likes" my page but he messages me and likes my posts.

[Drake]

Blocking people on FB:
on your facebook page, to the right of your notifications, there is a padlock. if you click that, it opens up the privacy menu. Go to "how do I stop someone from bothering me?" and it will ask for his name. Once you type that in, it will open up a list of all users with that name. you can scroll through that list, and pick which profiles you want to block. Once blocked, the individual will not be able to contact you in any way (unless they create another profile)

[Arella]

But he doesn't actually like the page so it doesn't pop up :P

[Arella]

Like that's for just your normal facebook page this is on my mermaid page :(

[Drake]

it shouldnt make a difference.. however, you can also go to his page, via clicking on his name in one of the messages he has sent you, and there is an option to block/report from there (next to message, it shows up as an elipsis (...))

[Drake]

oh.. for a professional page, I'm absolutely of no use, sorry

[Arella]

I did that but he is still liking my stuff and I don't want him to have any access to it :(

[AniaR]

Drake- it only works to ban them from the page. And if you block them personally, they can still comment on your page you just wont see it. You can only ban them from the page if they have it liked.

[Arella]

That is such a bad design, I mean he probably knows that I can't block him because he likes all my stuff and messages me but never comments of likes the page :P

[Drake]

Thank you for that clarification, Ms Raina.

[Sherielle]

The issue I have now is this Midwest Merman Steve person who went one step further and is following my personal (non-mer) profile, plus he's tried to add me as a friend which I have ignored and deleted the request. I don't need those people in my life! he's just contacted me to ask if he could send a friend request.

[Lorelei]

he's just contacted me to ask if he could send a friend request.
He contact me as well today on my personal Facebook with the same message. What's weird is he said "nice tail," yet I don't have any of my tail photos viewable to anyone but friends?
His message looked innocent, but the actions of contacting me on my personal profile kind of unnerves me...

[Mizuko]

Not sure if I would consider it harassing, but I had to block someone recently for sending me multiple messages on my business page asking where I lived. It clearly says my location on my page. And he also sent photographs of himself- nothing nude, mind you, but the very notion that someone wants to send me photos of themselves for no reason gives me the creeps. His English wasn't good, so at first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but after he sent photos of himself I deleted him. His name was Manfred Frickel, I'm not sure if he's a regular of messaging mermaids...

[Starfrit]

He contact me as well today on my personal Facebook with the same message. What's weird is he said "nice tail," yet I don't have any of my tail photos viewable to anyone but friends?
His message looked innocent, but the actions of contacting me on my personal profile kind of unnerves me...

Chances are, he's a mermaid "collector" sending the same canned messages to anyone with ties to mermaiding.

[AniaR]

Mizuko I just had someone do that to me too. And he DID start sending photos it was weird.

Was it this guy? he spoke on english on my page but I got this in my messages

24564

[Mizuko]

It wont let me upload the photo, but no its not the same person! Strange that people think its normal to send photos of themselves via messages, though! :P
Manfred Frickel was German, I think.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

So... I just got hit with Craig Bohn.

24946

Same technique, different mermaid.

[SeaGlass Siren]

i dunno about you guys but i would NOT want to be one of his swim students... especially one who likes "cougars, mature ladies, and hot moms." YECH. i would NOT want my future kids to be taught by him either.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

i dunno about you guys but i would NOT want to be one of his swim students... especially one who likes "cougars, mature ladies, and hot moms." YECH. i would NOT want my future kids to be taught by him either.

Seriously, does he say that?

[PhaylennMurúch]

he has his likes public, kinda like Gordon likes girls dressed up as babies/children and seemingly has a thing for people in diapers

[AniaR]

Yeah I've seen that before. he has so many freaking accounts ugh

[SeaGlass Siren]

Ah yes... I forgot such things existed..

[PhaylennMurúch]

does anyone know anything about Richard Straube? he just sent a friend request but all I see on his page is a headshot and a bunch of fluke shots

[AniaR]

He's on my "be weary of" list. I think he's more a collector, I'm not sure if there's been any complaints yet.

[Echidna]

I think he's a merman.
He sent me a link to his Dolphinman gallery and a swimming video when thanking me for accepting friendship.

Other than that, I haven't heard from him (no creepy mails or questions).

[Mermaid Fenicia]

He's one of the sellers of the Germain mertail-companies ;)

[Samantha Siren]

So here is what Stevie Smith sent me once he realized i had deleted him off Facebook

hello Samantha,
hope you are okay but sad you unfriended me on facebook
i am therefore removing you as an admin and blocking you from seeing my mermaids are the best group!!!
if it was a facebook error, please send me a friend request and i will re-add you and make you an admin on my group again and apologize.
thanks,

stevie


He can now consider himself blocked!

[PhaylennMurúch]

Stevie is trying SO HARD to get Raina as a friend/admin on that group, under the guise of managing the spam of course. That thread seriously made me laugh, you could see the want dripping from his post

[Samantha Siren]

I am glad to be shot of it. Everyday new people wanting to join clogging up my feed. Another on to look out for guy is Justin Carson. He added me then asked if i had mermaid friends at what their names were. He openly admitted to being a collector!

[Shimmer Mermaid]

Craig Bohn friended me via facebook a couple of weeks ago, and my boyfriend (who is all for me finding people in the mermaid community to talk to) just stated "I'm getting a weird feeling about this guy, if he starts acting weird please block him." Low and behold, not 30 minutes later, he messaged me saying he wanted to give me breath holding lessons. After I told him I wasn't interested, he became very aggressive saying I needed to skype him NOW, and that if I wanted to go anywhere in the mermaid world he HAD to teach me otherwise I would fail. My boyfriend told him to leave me alone and to quit harrassing me, and he messaged me again saying "So you told your boyfriend I'm trying to help you dear?" We immediately blocked him, had my sister block him, and essentially made sure he wasn't able to contact us again. I didn't know he was this bad, I just thought he was a random perv so we deleted the messages. I haven't heard of him getting this aggressive with anyone else, so maybe he was just P/O'd that my boyfriend told him to leave me alone?

[mermaids-and-anchors]

I'm really happy found I found this, I had Craig msg me about breathing lessons on my facebook page. I just told him I was taking lessons in a few months and he left me alone after that. I'm glad to know that he is on this list so in case it happens again I know what his intentions are and can make the correct steps to protect myself and prevent anything else from going further.

[Mermaid Wesley]

He's..... Weird. I just ignored him. He went away


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Nessie]

Has anyone had any issues with Dannij Ostendorp? He is constantly messaging me saying "hi" "hello" "hey," Despite the fact that I have ever replied to any of his messages, he always seems to send me a message every few weeks without fail.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I got those too. I think we talked about him. He pesters incessantly so I blocked him.

[Echidna]

yep, we mentioned him in the stupid comments thread, and I think he belongs on this list here,
because he stalks mers around the clock on his cell and as soon as someone logs on, he spams the inbox.

If you ever reply on him, he'll talk about all sorts of weird crap, but the constant spamming of every mer he finds is enough to be one of the most bothersome contacts I've ever had on FB.

[Imogen Finnly]

Midwest mermaid Steve added me and so far his messages were average. Nothing crazy just tail talk and he asked me few questions about my tail in progress and hasn't messaged me since. *shrugs shoulders* he said I would make a beautiful mermaid but nothing more after that. So far he is being normal. Meh..

formerly jayy

[Mermaid Melusinah]

Midwest mermaid Steve added me and so far his messages were average. Nothing crazy just tail talk and he asked me few questions about my tail in progress and hasn't messaged me since. *shrugs shoulders* he said I would make a beautiful mermaid but nothing more after that. So far he is being normal. Meh..

formerly jayy

Thats how it usually starts... just use caution. this goes for ANYONE that is out there and you begin to converse with.

[Imogen Finnly]

Yah anahita said the exact same thing! Im giving him the benefit of the doubt for now if he starts getting really creepy that I'm going to delete him for sure and block him. Time will tell

formerly jayy

[AniaR]

Craig was messaging Canadian Mermaids *rolls eyes*

[Mermaid Melanie]

Got contacted by Craig saying he would love to be friends ... Second thoughts maybe not

[-Annwyn-]

Wow, with these guys around, how can we ever feel lonely?! XD Sad thought I know...:p

[Mermaid Wesley]

Steve messages me all the frickin time I just ignore it


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AniaR]

well a lot of this comes from just NOT adding people you don't know as good prevention. I made the mistake on my Raina Mer profile of just adding everyone. And then some people from the community though Gordon might be okay because he was on my friends list :S and at least when you don't have the people added, it goes to your "other" folder. Oh the FB other folder. You could make a whole thread just about that ;)

[AniaR]

a few people were talking about John parker earlier... look at my post in the stupid youtube section. I just realized it's him lol http://mernetwork.com/index/showthread.php?6271-Stupid-Youtube-comments-part-2!!!&p=156166&viewfull=1#post156166

[MermaidCelesteFL]

I got Midwest Merman Steve. So far, nothing out of the ordinary. Don't know what to expect, though.

[Mermaid Enora]

Are any of these merverts on Twitter or instagram or mostly just Facebook?

[Mermaid Sirenia]

I got Midwest Merman Steve. So far, nothing out of the ordinary. Don't know what to expect, though.
He will just start messaging you constantly. I made the mistake of messaging him back over my page and now he keeps messaging and trying to add me on my personal page

[AniaR]

Yeah I haven't heard anything actually bad about Steve though. No inappropriate comments etc. I know he's got a tail from mermaidsrus and is now trying to go with a bigger mer. I suspect he's just someone who really wants to be in the community but perhaps lacks the social skills. I added him to my Raina Mer page so I could check him out.

I only had one guy on twitter I forget where I posted the screen caps but he believes I am his reincarnated mermaid mother. o_O

Mostly youtube and FB is what I find. Never had an issue on instagram ever.

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Yeah he's a nice guy, he's never been inappropriate it just kind of gets annoying when he starts harassing you with multiple messages

[Mermaid Wesley]

Yea I have the same experience.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Lorelei]

I'm not sure if this guy has been brought up or not, but I was sent this earlier.


https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-1/c3.3.34.34/p40x40/537766_426052480801437_1237179092_n.jpg?oh=c84892b ee9cc54b657c26df84520c9e6&oe=5520D2A3&__gda__=1429232575_9a4f91bb4e111dc18586bff05715e06 2 (https://www.facebook.com/salvatore.strazzullo3)

Salvatore Strazzullo (https://www.facebook.com/salvatore.strazzullo3)



Jan 6th, 12:01pm


MI beg to ask your friendship because you are a very beautiful woman, and I will follow some time I see you always wonderful and fatal than ever I do not want to give you trouble, but I would like the honor to call your friend thankshttps://www.facebook.com/ajax/mercury/attachments/photo.php?fbid=781120895294592&request_user_id=165922290157364&mode=contain&width=176&height=176 (https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t34.0-12/12856_781120855294596_191136860978046461_n.jpg?oh= c107533ad669079e007dc919c6fa3403&oe=54AE154E&__gda__=1420756812_a9cc9ab31469447e86080f84ff80060 0)

[SeaGlass Siren]

i am questioning why some italian grandpa is going around liking chinese groups... i'm also questioning how he knows how to play mass effect...

[Echinacea]

I am getting friend requests and messages from a Tim Dorfschmidt in Germany on my FB page. He is friends with several of my mer friends, but I know nothing about him. He says he 'likes Mermaids'.... :rolleyes: Anyone recognize him, and/or have any info - do I want him for a friend?

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Ok so I'm not sure if he would be considered a mervert or not since he seems nice enough but I've been getting quite a few messages from him lately, do any of you know Michael Santi on Facebook?

[Echinacea]

I had him (Michael Santi) friended for a while, but then he said he was taking time off, and someone else would be 'running' his page, so I unfriended him. He seemed fairly innocuous, a bit annoying because he was always asking his friends to go like someone's page, or talking about TV shows I don't watch, but otherwise harmless.

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Yeah I don't have him added as a friend but he liked my page and comments on EVERYTHING

[AniaR]

he just told me off in my other messages for not adding him as a friend... lol

[PearlieMae]

I keep forgetting to look in my other messages!

[AniaR]

they're hilarious. After merfesr my mervert count went up in such a huge way.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Another hit on Stevie Smith here! He sent me a friend request, a poke and a msg asking if we could be friends and after I told him that my facebook is for friends and family only he got all funny about it and has banned me from the mermaids are the best group. Here's screenshots:

26544

I've also had a guy who I quickly deleted a friend request from, reported one of his photos (to no avail, great job fb) and blocked him, but his profile is quite public and is entirely 'looking for single mermaids' posts and sexually explicit images of people having sex underwater etc. I have a feeling this guy could end up attempting to add minors within the community and he just all-round gave me a bad feeling. His name was Marc Fauve. Just wanted to give a heads up and see if anyone's had any issues with him.

I've had dealings with Michael Santi in the past and he seems mostly harmless if a bit clueless at times. He wanted to help promote my page and was commenting on everything I posted for a little while.

Tim Dorfschmidt added me after merfest before I really cracked down on who I was accepting and he sent me a series of msgs in very broken english, getting kinda abrupt with me and I ended up having to try to direct him to the fanpage using google translate but he still was trying to say he 'is my friend' and in the end I had to block him. I can provide screen shots of the conversation if needed but he seems harmless, just a collector with language barrier issues. Maybe slight hints of creepiness but probably just down to social issues not understanding that me accepting a friend request does not make us 'real life friends'

[-Annwyn-]

Another hit on Stevie Smith here! He sent me a friend request, a poke and a msg asking if we could be friends and after I told him that my facebook is for friends and family only he got all funny about it and has banned me from the mermaids are the best group. Here's screenshots:

26544

I've also had a guy who I quickly deleted a friend request from, reported one of his photos (to no avail, great job fb) and blocked him, but his profile is quite public and is entirely 'looking for single mermaids' posts and sexually explicit images of people having sex underwater etc. I have a feeling this guy could end up attempting to add minors within the community and he just all-round gave me a bad feeling. His name was Marc Fauve. Just wanted to give a heads up and see if anyone's had any issues with him.

I've had dealings with Michael Santi in the past and he seems mostly harmless if a bit clueless at times. He wanted to help promote my page and was commenting on everything I posted for a little while.

Tim Dorfschmidt added me after merfest before I really cracked down on who I was accepting and he sent me a series of msgs in very broken english, getting kinda abrupt with me and I ended up having to try to direct him to the fanpage using google translate but he still was trying to say he 'is my friend' and in the end I had to block him. I can provide screen shots of the conversation if needed but he seems harmless, just a collector with language barrier issues. Maybe slight hints of creepiness but probably just down to social issues not understanding that me accepting a friend request does not make us 'real life friends'


Thanks for the heads up, Stevie has also asked me if I would add them as a friend. I simply haven't replied to it. lol

[Caleb Seth Knight]

Wow! You have to seriously be careful with people now days! Ive heard about cases like this. Im glad this was brought to my attention. Be careful ladies!
-Caleb aka the tattooed merman

[AniaR]

Steve has been around forever stealing mermaid photos. He's had multiple banned FB accounts,

we've had threads on here and mer yuku inthe old days.

after merfest I had all the merverts come out of the woodwork to try and add me, and all the collectors

26547

However will I manage...? lol I'm sorry but stealing from the community for years and then inventing friendships in your head does not = be my friend.

[AniaR]

26548

I feel like I'm on mermaid Tinder....

2654926550265512655226553265532655426555

[AniaR]

does anyone know anything about this guy? He added me during the merfest haze and I checked his priofile and we had loads of people in common. His introduction to me just seemed, um, odd...? 26556

[Starfrit]

Uuugggghhhh this stuff is making me seriously wary of ever making a mermaid account when I finally get my tail... I get crazy anxiety when I'm approached by people like that. Just reading all the creepy comments you get, Raina, is making my stomach knot up. x-o

Like, how does anyone even respond to half of these...

[AniaR]

I don't. and then they flip shit.

[Merman Arion]

I kind of feel bad. I'm a guy, I'm gay and I get almost nothing. Like, it's really quiet. :confused:

Not that I'm complaining though but still... Not even an official hater yet!

So far it's going well but then I wonder what to think of the situation. :thinks:

Perhaps I just think too much. *shrug*

[Starfrit]

That's actually kind of surprising, Arion! You've got such a big fan base I figured you'd be getting tons of creepy messages from overly-friendly fanboys and girls. :P

[AniaR]

this is how women are treated on the internet in general. http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/this-is-what-happens-when-women-actually-accept-a-compliment#.myOJYKdk4

[Merman Arion]

That's actually kind of surprising, Arion! You've got such a big fan base I figured you'd be getting tons of creepy messages from overly-friendly fanboys and girls. :P

You and me both!
Truth be told, I don't even know what I expected anymore. Before, I doubted a lot about making a page and now, a silly part of me is feeling frustrated because there isn't much happening there to tell here.

Does that make sense? :doh:

[SeaGlass Siren]

what i have noticed (i don't suggest you do this, this is completely up to you) is that i've posted pictures of me and my husband or my wedding photos.

What you COULD do is post a PDA picture as your profile pic. You and your mertender or something. havent gotten contacted at all since.

[AniaR]

load sof sean and I all over my page it never stops em lol

[SeaGlass Siren]

not enough.

PDA *chanting*

P.D.A!
P.D.A!

[AniaR]

Sean says we've reached January quota... ;)

[SeaGlass Siren]

omgee i love the second image. squee <3

[MermaidCelesteFL]

My page got hit with Chris Perry. So far, pretty innocent messages, and he pointed out that I don't cover enough mermen in my facebook page. No issues yet. The girls on my page are asking for more mermen as well.

[Merman Arion]

My page got hit with Chris Perry. So far, pretty innocent messages, and he pointed out that I don't cover enough mermen in my facebook page. No issues yet. The girls on my page are asking for more mermen as well.

Feel free to share my pictures from my page. That should help :)

[shimmygoddess]

This is why I block people that look suspicious. Depending on which profile pic I have up depends on when the creepers come out. If they message me with something creepy or just look creepy, I never respond and just block right away, no chances! LOL

[Mermaid Alea]

this is how women are treated on the internet in general. http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/this-is-what-happens-when-women-actually-accept-a-compliment#.myOJYKdk4

Wow...I am glad I am not on facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc. I have had someone say something mean to me before on the internet. It was on Deviantart. The comment really ruined my day, but then I decided that I would reply in a very kind way telling that person to have a nice day or something like that. They didn't reply back. I like the idea of killing people with kindness. I just don't see why some stranger would be mad at you for not replying to them or friending them.

Often I wonder what these people are like in real life. I wonder if they have sad little lives and no friends.

[Ilyena]

Tried searching through this thread, but has anyone received a message from a "Christian Horsting".....tried being polite at the start and literally after 2 replies from me, I got this really large text wall, which looks like a poem but doesn't rhyme at all.

[Echidna]

I am getting friend requests and messages from a Tim Dorfschmidt in Germany on my FB page. He is friends with several of my mer friends, but I know nothing about him. He says he 'likes Mermaids'.... :rolleyes: Anyone recognize him, and/or have any info - do I want him for a friend?

ye, I have him on my list.
He can't speak English well, so unless you speak German, he won't bother you :D

I got some quite annoying novel-sized textings from him, but after a while (I'm very seldom online) he found better things to do, and I've only received nice comments and likes from him since.

[Yulia]

Cristopher Perry pm:d me on facebook this morning. Nope, won't happen.

Hi I'm a merman and wish we could be mer friends

[Mermaid Sirenia]

And I'm now getting tons of messages on my page from Christopher Perry -_-

[Sherielle]

Just got messaged by Chris perry as well

[MermaidCelesteFL]

Merman week is going well! Thanks, Arion! The girls love you!

Also, Chris Perry is still being harmless, he's just grateful that I'm covering mermen in my topics on my fb page. I'll let you know if he gets out of hand.

[Spindrift]

Uuugggghhhh this stuff is making me seriously wary of ever making a mermaid account when I finally get my tail... I get crazy anxiety when I'm approached by people like that. Just reading all the creepy comments you get, Raina, is making my stomach knot up. x-o

Like, how does anyone even respond to half of these...

^This is the reason why I don't have a mermaid account. It sucks though. I'd love to be mermaid-friends with all of you lovely people.

[Echidna]

To be fair, someone like Raina gets loads more comments, creepy or otherwise, than the average mer.

I'd say try it, block the creepers, and enjoy having a mer account. :)

[AniaR]

Anyone getting anything from manfred frickle?

At first they had a photo of a mermaid swimming as their profile pic and was constantly messaging me in german. I ignored it. Now their profile pic has changed to a man and the messages.. well... ugh...

he/she keeps copying my statements on FB and sending them back to me poorly translated?

And then I get these:



https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-1/c4.0.40.40/p40x40/1480503_1617557771805028_6048940483567225604_n.jpg ?oh=facf1682fb7bb93f8354275f6502dc49&oe=555D29A2&__gda__=1431795614_218aee3370a382c12a67c63a221b3e5 e (https://www.facebook.com/manfred.frickel)
Manfred Frickel (https://www.facebook.com/manfred.frickel)


28 January 13:27

Hello

That would be fine if it is translated!

I'm sorry, I speak no German, and can have translated my page

Where do you / they live?

How old are you / you?

What job did you / you?

I spoke with PC - program registration!


With

friendly

Best regards

Manfred Frickel



Bist du noch zu Haben oder Schon Eine Ehefrau ?


You can barely spot the waist line. Cell phone pic!
What is the meaning / hot?
You can the waistline almost on the spot. Cell phone PIC!
Question: are you a wife?

With
friendly
Best regards
Manfred Frickel



https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-1/c4.0.40.40/p40x40/1480503_1617557771805028_6048940483567225604_n.jpg ?oh=facf1682fb7bb93f8354275f6502dc49&oe=555D29A2&__gda__=1431795614_218aee3370a382c12a67c63a221b3e5 e (https://www.facebook.com/manfred.frickel)
Manfred Frickel (https://www.facebook.com/manfred.frickel)


1 February 01:12

Had a fun day of gigs today. Back at it again tomorrow. Fun never stops "smile"-Emoticon


What exploits that? This is your name: "smile"-Emoticon?

Question: I can you go swimming?


With

friendly

Best regards

Manfred Frickel



Anyone else getting this person? they are obsessed with me messaging me constantly in german...

[AniaR]

he keeps attaching what I think is a german dating profile -_-

[Mermaid Danielle]

Not sure if I would consider it harassing, but I had to block someone recently for sending me multiple messages on my business page asking where I lived. It clearly says my location on my page. And he also sent photographs of himself- nothing nude, mind you, but the very notion that someone wants to send me photos of themselves for no reason gives me the creeps. His English wasn't good, so at first I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but after he sent photos of himself I deleted him. His name was Manfred Frickel, I'm not sure if he's a regular of messaging mermaids...


Possibly the same person, Raina?

[AniaR]

just realized his photos are all shutterstock images. yup. collector at the least but asking all these personal questions makes me think mervert

[AniaR]

annnd translated a bunch on his FB he's basically asking everyone to be his girlfriend and they need to be a swimmer who likes to do underwater stuff. mervert alert.

[Mizuko]

Yup same guy! Same profile pic too. I recommend everyone blocking him!

[PearlieMae]

Gordon Shagene is awake...just got ANOTHER friend request.

[Echidna]

^^same.

When I saw the name I was like O_o

[Mermaid Lunette]

Has anyone dealt with any deviantart merverts? I have been randomly messaged by someone named
Jackcrowder after my best friend drew my mersona. He seems innocent enough but he is bringing up really personal info about himself (like where he worked and where he got laid off.) Without me asking...I also checked and I am pretty sure he lives in the same state as me.


Edit: also, he only message me because of my mersona. We have never spoken before and I do not even have anything up on my account. it could be nothing but conisidering I have only responded to him with "thank you for the compliment" and stuff like that and yet I now know. his complete work history, I just have my guard up.

[PhaylennMurúch]

Just got a Friend request from both Gordon and Esther.

blocked Gordon right away, I did notice that Esther has it up on her FB that she works for Mermaid Rentals. Makes her look more legit than she is

[-Annwyn-]

Yeah Gordon Shagene just liked my page. I'm wondering when his 20 other aliases will, too.

[AniaR]

Ugh he requested to be in my group

[Mermaid Mystery]

Gordon Shagene requested me on two accounts this morning. I'm a fifteen year old girl (I cannot seem to stress this enough!!! >.<) ugh


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Sirenia]

Gordon Shagene added me too ugh

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I've made a youtube account to post my videos... After reading everything here, I make sure before I publish anything to disable comments, turn off embedding and sharing, and make them private. Except for my Finis Foil Review, i just disabled comments.

[Dancing Fish]

Wow, Gorden sent me a friend request, and there's absolutely nothing on my public profile that would indicate that I do mermaid-y stuff...I guess he trolls the groups even just for folks who "like" mermaid-related posts.

[QueenZero]

I wish I could hire myself out as an ass kicker. Just a matter of "This person is being a creep to me. Go get 'im."

The fact that this Gordon guy is trying to contact FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS is giving me the absolute creeps.

I hope Esther gets her act together for her own sake. She could get herself in trouble.

[Mermaid Mystery]

The fact that this Gordon guy is trying to contact FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS is giving me the absolute creeps.

it definitely shot up a red flag for me, too.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[BlueMermaid]

I just want to point out that I think alot of these guys are not necessarily merverts. They may be on the autism spectrum, and are trying to be friendly. They just have no idea how weird they seem to others. I know this because my son loves messaging people and sometimes they think he's weird and say mean things to him. Now my son does not have any interest in finding a girlfriend so he's not saying anything inappropriate that way, but people don't really understand some of the stuff he says. Sometimes they just think it's strange that he is messaging them alot. He really just likes talking to people and so he will sometimes send them alot of messages and they get creeped out. I try to monitor his messages and prevent this from happening tho. But others on the autism spectrum may want a girlfriend but they don't realize they come across as creepy.

Of course many of them are just merverts. lol But just wanted to point this out as some are truly harmless and just don't understand social boundaries.

[Mermaid Danielle]

Had another comment from John Parker on my youtube account (he's been blocked on both facebook and youtube, hopefully I won't hear from him again);

27463

[Echidna]

@BlueMermaid; thanks for pointing that out.

I normally won't block people unless they are repeatedly obscene (like the "lay on belly"-guy).
I also don't mind certain messages where people try to begin a chat, that can be awkward.

I can understand if someone is annoyed by constant spam like "are you married or still on the market??" though.
As if it would make a difference, are they going to board a plane and fly around the globe to date that mer who happens to not have a bf? :rolleyes:
(And wonderful that not having a partner does imply for these guys one is looking for someone :p )

[Echidna]

Today, it took me an hour to go through new friend requests :phew:

I'm beginning to think it was a mistake to mention merthings on my "normal" account.

I denied following requests:
Paul Parr. He has pictures of women and mermaids all plastered over his site, including his "profile picture".
I also love it when there is no info whatsoever to show, just pics of other people :p

Björn Jansen. See above. He seems to pose as a photographer, but asks every minute if there are any "girls with underwater fetish?? Breathholding fetish??!"

Then there's this person where I cannot work out whether they are a guy or a girl, who also don't have any info about themselves, use pics of mermaids of all kinds as their "profile pictures", and claim they live on Mako.
Probably a kid, but hey.

If I didn't need a personal account to have my performer page, I'd probably close it.

[Seraphina Suds]

Has anyone gotten anything from this guy?

28070

He posted this exact same thing on two different pictures and my page itself in the span of a few hours.

[Nashoba]

This is a great start, I have a feeling we maybe adding more people to this list!! There are 2 German men that have tried to contact me using FB and at first I was nice, but when things start getting weird that is when I ignore them and report. I actually had one German man call me, so I have taken my phone number off now! Midwest Merman Steve seems to be harmless, I get message from him every now and then and it is a smiley face, and maybe he says how nice I look in a picture but nothing else. As long as it stays simple with him I will be fine, but if the comments go any further then that block and report.
My amazing husband/mer wrangler does such a great job assisting me in real life but he gets a bit worried in the cyber world. I told him we are doing the best we can and trying to keep everyone informed of the issues we are having with certain people and the more we can I for each other the safer we will all be!!!

I have had issues with this "Midwest Merman Steve," as well - general trolling and time waster.

28248

[Mermaid Wesley]

He's not necessarily a mervert though. He's a bit socially awkward but he's a friend of mine on fb and he's just trying to be friendly. Annoying? Yea. Mervert? Nope.


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[Mermaid Wesley]

I got this today 28249


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[PearlieMae]

Even though I've blocked every possible iteration, Facebook told me today is Gordon Shagene's birthday.

:headwall:

[Seraphina Suds]

That's the same guy I posted, Wesley! I wonder who else he's bothered...

[Mermaid Wesley]

That's the same guy I posted, Wesley! I wonder who else he's bothered...

He's posted a few annoying things on my photos before but this is the first one that's warranted a block from me.

[Echidna]

Even though I've blocked every possible iteration, Facebook told me today is Gordon Shagene's birthday.

Urg, me too, and I never had him on my friendslist to begin with.
Means he has some fake alt profile on there
:headwall:

[Anahita]

Remember ladies what I said in either this thread or another.... Middle-Eastern and North African men will say disgusting things to you because we as a people are taught as a whole that Western women are all "easy" and that that's how you can and should talk to them. So sadly, I hate to encourage stereotyping, but I must give the disclaimer to be wary of them when they pop up, especially because the mermaid outfits are "revealing" so they flock to that shit and totally act inappropriately because they're usually looking at it for essentially sexual reasons (because they can see a lot of your upper body).

Tell them that their behavior is inappropriate and that this is not the way to talk to anyone, and that if they continue, they will be blocked and reported for sexual harassment.

Usually they stop saying the inappropriate stuff after they've been told not to, and it's up to you if you're still comfortable knowing now why they're hanging around you/your page, or if you're not, you can block them anyways.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I hate to play the race card too but I have to agree with Anahita :| sometimes it really is just that.
It's like so wrong on so many levels. Like why do they think that it's ok ? Smh

[Mermaid Mystery]

OKAY that's it I've had it. Is "Merman Triton" safe? All I see from him is "love mermaid" and "I love you mermaid" and it's driving me crazy. I haven't seen anyone respond to him when he says this either. Is it just me or does this seem weird???


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[Mermaid Wesley]

I got an inappropriate comment from him the other day. I can't remember what it said but I blocked him.


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[Coradion]

Remember ladies what I said in either this thread or another.... Middle-Eastern and North African men will say disgusting things to you because we as a people are taught as a whole that Western women are all "easy" and that that's how you can and should talk to them. So sadly, I hate to encourage stereotyping, but I must give the disclaimer to be wary of them when they pop up, especially because the mermaid outfits are "revealing" so they flock to that shit and totally act inappropriately because they're usually looking at it for essentially sexual reasons (because they can see a lot of your upper body).

Tell them that their behavior is inappropriate and that this is not the way to talk to anyone, and that if they continue, they will be blocked and reported for sexual harassment.

Usually they stop saying the inappropriate stuff after they've been told not to, and it's up to you if you're still comfortable knowing now why they're hanging around you/your page, or if you're not, you can block them anyways.


I think this is really good advice and understanding cultural differences is important to discerning the reality of the situation. Discern before passing judgment!

[AniaR]

We can pass judgment all we want thanks. Would you not pass judgment on other totally unacceptable behaviors because someone was from another culture??? No. You would pass judgment. And when it comes to online sexual harassment you shouldn't excuse it away. Anahita was explaining the why of the demographic
Not the this is an excuse for them.
Don't mansplain.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Yeaaah I mean there's a cultural difference but that doesn't excuse people. They're still know I don't welcome comments like that. They're not dumb.


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[AniaR]

I mean let's be frank: female oppression is the norm in a huge amount of cultures. That doesnt mean we "discern before passing judgment". This is a thread for people to vent and document their experiences with online harassment from men and EVEN when it comes to dealing with people who have a disorder that makes it hard for them communicate appropriately online doesn't mean we don't let them know either that what they're doing is unacceptable, and block them, and take appropriate measures to protect ourselves. This way people in the community can decide if they want to avoid someone, or check if they've been getting weird messages if someone else had an experience, and you know what? It even helps in situations where someone might be doing something illegal because we have a record.

These excuses just don't fly. And I don't want any girl posting their experiences here to be subjected to a lecture about how they need to be more understanding of the person harassing them, It's victim blaming and enables the wider rape culture by making excuses for the people in the wrong. (and to be clear Anahita I know you're not doing that. You're just explaining the "ahh why do these guys think it's ok?) I think it's something YOU maybe need to understand better Coradion so you can discern the reality of the situation which is this: us mermaids are subjected to this constantly; and it's not ok. And we are entitled to take measures to document it, help ourselves, and prevent others from experiencing it. Regardless of the perpetrator's story.

We are basically dealing with internet catcalling. Here's some information about catcalling and why it's not ok in ANY circumstance:

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/11/men-behaving-badly-street-harassment-cat-calling/
http://greatist.com/happiness/sexual-harassment-street
http://hellogiggles.com/no-catcalling-is-not-a-compliment-and-heres-why

http://www.bustle.com/articles/45667-women-face-higher-rates-of-online-stalking-online-sexual-harassment-alarming-pew-research-study-finds
http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/women-arent-welcome-internet-72170
http://fortune.com/2014/10/22/forty-percent-harassed-online/

[Echidna]

:clap:

There is enough victim blaming in the world already.

Whether it's the gang-rapemurder mentality ("she went out after dusk, it's her fault") or people of a certain "culture" being exempt from jurisdiction because in their homeland, pouring acid over a woman that doesn't want them (or killing and burning her, not necessarily in that order) is the way it's done.
These things should not happen, and if they happen, there is no excuse.

Don't ask of people to understand that this is part of a so-called "culture".
How about; pull your heads out of the Middle Ages, and understand where the world is today.
Or could be.

[AniaR]

How about; pull your heads out of the Middle Ages, and understand where the world is today.
Or could be.

http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/64/33/39bee4f33728e1f54402d858540d373c-weekend-update-high-five.gif

[Mermaid Wesley]

:clap::clap::clap:

[Mermaid Mystery]

http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/15/03/18/a5fcdc9b37e28594754f43b8018355d6.jpg
if this gif doesn't work I swear


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[Vrindavana Starfish]

Hell yes, Raina!
Also, those are some great articles you linked to. I have to admit that my biggest fear about mermaiding is the harassment.

[AniaR]

I find it rarely happens in person. I've had a handful of experiences but as I've done more gigs I've learned to hit the issue head on and I have a harassment clause built into a booking agreement so it encourages the client to also be sure I am not being harassed ;)

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I have a harassment clause built into a booking agreement so it encourages the client to also be sure I am not being harassed ;)

That is an excellent idea.

[Mary Marine]

How about; pull your heads out of the Middle Ages, and understand where the world is today.
Or could be.

“Do not raise your children the way [your] parents raised you, they were born for a different time.” — Abi bin Abi Taleb (599—661 A.D.)

Anahita, thanks for explaining the cultural perspective of some of these men and how to address it. I do think that if we want to see people's behavior change it is important to know why it exist in the first place. I also hope that as the world becomes more connected with modern technology it will be harder for outdated mindsets regarding women to persist. Of course, I'm saying this on a thread about online harassment, so I guess all this easier communication is a double edged sword?

[Coradion]

“Do not raise your children the way [your] parents raised you, they were born for a different time.” — Abi bin Abi Taleb (599—661 A.D.)

Anahita, thanks for explaining the cultural perspective of some of these men and how to address it. I do think that if we want to see people's behavior change it is important to know why it exist in the first place. I also hope that as the world becomes more connected with modern technology it will be harder for outdated mindsets regarding women to persist. Of course, I'm saying this on a thread about online harassment, so I guess all this easier communication is a double edged sword?

Well put, I think we as a community and as individuals should just be clear on our boundaries. I mean when you're at the beach wet and mostly unclothed (as a merman I am actually half naked) it's hard not to be attractive right? We're just too darn pretty.

I won't review all of the pages of this thread but in each person's case we should make sure that as soon as one of us feel harassed we directly address the situation to the individual we perceive to be harassing us. We should let them know what actions and comments we feel are inappropriate and then ask them to apologize and stop that behavior. If the unwanted behavior continues then by all means block the person or proceed however you like.

I feel even the title of this thread is not helpful and does not encompass the severity of the situation "Mervert" as in "mermaid-pervert" seems like a much easier word to throw around than "pervert". I think if you are truly being harassed by a pervert you should take action. However if you have an overzealous fan I think you should be very careful as to how you interact with them as labeling them a "mervert" ie a "pervert" is rather serious.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Sexual Harassment is rather serious too.

[Princess Pearl]

I won't review all of the pages of this thread but in each person's case we should make sure that as soon as one of us feel harassed we directly address the situation to the individual we perceive to be harassing us. We should let them know what actions and comments we feel are inappropriate and then ask them to apologize and stop that behavior. If the unwanted behavior continues then by all means block the person or proceed however you like.

I feel even the title of this thread is not helpful and does not encompass the severity of the situation "Mervert" as in "mermaid-pervert" seems like a much easier word to throw around than "pervert". I think if you are truly being harassed by a pervert you should take action. However if you have an overzealous fan I think you should be very careful as to how you interact with them as labeling them a "mervert" ie a "pervert" is rather serious.

There are very few cases in this thread where I WOULDN'T call someone a "pervert." These are situations where people are repeatedly being contacted with lewd, explicit, and unasked for comments. Furthermore, the people who have been labeled as "merverts" are not just contacting one person, but several. These are repeated actions, not isolated events. Often, the mervert (yes, I'm going to keep using the word) doesn't start out with perverted stuff, but regularly posts ordinary things- lots of "hey," "hi," or just smileys. Then it turns into "you have pretty eyes," or "nice costume" then one day, BAM, they hit you with the creepy stuff that makes you want to wash your computer.

When someone is skeeved out by too much attention, they check here if the suspected mervert is known to other people. If no one has been bothered by him, the concerned person can block or not block as they so choose and continue with their life. But if others say "John Smith! He did the same thing to me!" then we have a pattern, and we can skip the days, weeks, or months of escalating behaviour and skip right to the blocking/reporting.

There have even been instances in this thread where someone was concerned that they were being targeted by a mervert, but were reassured that the commenter was just awkward, not perverted. The thread works.

[Coradion]

Sexual Harassment is rather serious too.

I'm not saying that sexual harassment isn't a very real issue, it definitely is. I have worked in a Women's Center before and I am not discounting the severity of the matter. I am just saying we should as a group be cautious of our terminology and be very careful of how we treat others in any situation.