B!TC# IT OUT!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I love my job... but i HATE HATE HATE doing cash and dealing with people who repeatedly do returns or forget to bring in their coupons and forget that coupons are only one time use, OR for get to apply store credit. BAH. and i hate people who try to cheat the system BAHH. HUMBUG.

[Kaila Mermaid]

Or the ones who throw things at you -_- welcome to Hell Depot where Orange is the new black and the color of my soul

[Mermaid Lilium]

Started new job = yay
8hr contract, with assurances of it being more lik 16hrs a week due to busyness = yay
job you're told you got is the maternity cover until feb at the earliest. = awesome, better than nothing right?

by the time you're signing your contract/starting:
- rota for the next month is 8hrs a week,
- now only down as an xmas temp and likely won't even have any hours in january let alone feb.
- don't get paid for training or a 4hr trial (aka slave labor) day yesterday (which was also suuuper busy).
- Go in for your first proper paid day, having nearly had a panic attack in the morning freaking out over if my shirts meet uniform requirements (cause not being given the shirts as promised) to be told that because of a discreprancy on the tills (cash registers) yesterday when you and the other temp were first serving customers, you're now no longer able to use the tills until you've had further training from the managers (I know how, I know I didn't make any mistakes and it meant only one staff member could do the tills for the first two hours today, I constantly had to say to waiting customers that she'd be with them soon as a result) AND then had my bag and jacket searched at the end of my shift.

-TABLE FLIP-

plus, I'm having to file my divorce papers tomorrow/tuesday. Going to try to get that done as soon as I can too so that I can just focus on finishing my neoprene tail and ball outfit for merfest. If i'd have known this job was going to be so pitiful pay wise I wouldn't have paid out for merfest either cause now with all this, I can't really afford it... I have money but I was supposed to be keeping the money I had, to pay for the divorce and for investing in silicone tailmaking kit to get my tail done and set up the tailmaking business. I paid out cause I thought I'd easily earn at least most of it back by feb..... *sighs and tries not to cry*

[SINicallyTwisted]

I am so upset I could just scream! Why do people try to scam me out of my artwork!?! :anger explode:

I received an email last night from a previous client that commissioned me a YEAR ago claiming that she never received her commission that she paid for.... Here's the thing...I HAND DELIVERED IT TO HER!!! I know she has it. I personally handed it to her at a show in front of witnesses a YEAR ago!

ARGHHH!!! :headwall:

[Morticia Mermaid]

Warning to accessory sellers! (And also a tiny bit of venting)

Last year I was commissioned to create a headdress for a customer. It came out just as the customer wanted and she loved it.

Now, this summer the person that commissioned the headdress completely tore apart it apart. Ok, no problems with that, if that is what she wants to do. The problem I am having is that she not just recreated it, but used the EXACT pieces of the commissioned piece to make a headdress and has the audacity to call it 100% her own work. Even posted a video saying she found pictures on google images to use as inspiration.

Think I'm kidding, I have photo proof of the original and the recreation.

Original
25355

Recreation
25356

Note the pearl comparison between the 2. Though pearls were added, you can see the pearls from the original are still there.

And then there is the plants for the "fan". Which are exactly the same, only change was an additional branch or two was added to make it even (note the color difference between the main bulk and the ones on the upper and lower edge of the fan). You can also see the tiny little piece that hooks over the shell in both pictures.

25357


Now, you're probably wondering why bring this here, why not talk to her about it. Well, I did. And she straight lied to me about it. When I first messaged her, there were several pictures of the recreated headdress, and several (if not all) photos of her wearing the original that AFTER I first messaged her completely disappeared (shame on me for not having gotten screen shots when I should have, only got one or 2 as I was rather upset). In the messages she insists that the headdress she ordered from me was in perfect condition, etc. And even sent a picture. Well, I looked through my screen shots and her photos, sure enough the photo was there originally but not after she sent her message containing the picture.


Again I have NO PROBLEMS with people ordering something from me then after a while deciding to change it up. My problem is this- ordering something from me, pulling it apart, remaking it, then claiming it 100% as THEIR OWN WORK.

My main reason for posting this is so people, specifically those who make accessories to sell, know there is someone out there doing this. I wont post her name publicly so as to not embarrass her but, if anyone wishes to know who I am talking about then please message me and I will tell you privately. She has been permanently banned from all of my pages on FB and I will no longer be providing service to her for stress and worry that anything I make for her will just be torn apart and claimed as her own work. (Also, will gladly provide screenshots if needed.)

If an admin, or anyone, feels I should move this to its own thread and out of this one I will gladly do so. I just felt here would be fine for now as this post is sort of a vent/warning.

[Mermaid Melusinah]

I am so upset I could just scream! Why do people try to scam me out of my artwork!?! :anger explode:

I received an email last night from a previous client that commissioned me a YEAR ago claiming that she never received her commission that she paid for.... Here's the thing...I HAND DELIVERED IT TO HER!!! I know she has it. I personally handed it to her at a show in front of witnesses a YEAR ago!

ARGHHH!!! :headwall:

WOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW :thumbdown:

[Rivertee]

Seriously bubble fish and carp stars! Tell me you want to be a friend and not loose our friendship over a guy, then turn around and erase everything? Block me from everything, and just straight up lie to my face?! Use me to help you get the guy then just turn around and act like we don't matter? Well fine! Fish you and don'e come crying to me when he breaks your heart AGAIN! Guppies!

Ook rant done.

[Mermaid Melusinah]

Warning to accessory sellers! (And also a tiny bit of venting)

Last year I was commissioned to create a headdress for a customer. It came out just as the customer wanted and she loved it.

Now, this summer the person that commissioned the headdress completely tore apart it apart. Ok, no problems with that, if that is what she wants to do. The problem I am having is that she not just recreated it, but used the EXACT pieces of the commissioned piece to make a headdress and has the audacity to call it 100% her own work. Even posted a video saying she found pictures on google images to use as inspiration.

Think I'm kidding, I have photo proof of the original and the recreation.

Original
25355

Recreation
25356

Note the pearl comparison between the 2. Though pearls were added, you can see the pearls from the original are still there.

And then there is the plants for the "fan". Which are exactly the same, only change was an additional branch or two was added to make it even (note the color difference between the main bulk and the ones on the upper and lower edge of the fan). You can also see the tiny little piece that hooks over the shell in both pictures.

25357


Now, you're probably wondering why bring this here, why not talk to her about it. Well, I did. And she straight lied to me about it. When I first messaged her, there were several pictures of the recreated headdress, and several (if not all) photos of her wearing the original that AFTER I first messaged her completely disappeared (shame on me for not having gotten screen shots when I should have, only got one or 2 as I was rather upset). In the messages she insists that the headdress she ordered from me was in perfect condition, etc. And even sent a picture. Well, I looked through my screen shots and her photos, sure enough the photo was there originally but not after she sent her message containing the picture.


Again I have NO PROBLEMS with people ordering something from me then after a while deciding to change it up. My problem is this- ordering something from me, pulling it apart, remaking it, then claiming it 100% as THEIR OWN WORK.

My main reason for posting this is so people, specifically those who make accessories to sell, know there is someone out there doing this. I wont post her name publicly so as to not embarrass her but, if anyone wishes to know who I am talking about then please message me and I will tell you privately. She has been permanently banned from all of my pages on FB and I will no longer be providing service to her for stress and worry that anything I make for her will just be torn apart and claimed as her own work. (Also, will gladly provide screenshots if needed.)

If an admin, or anyone, feels I should move this to its own thread and out of this one I will gladly do so. I just felt here would be fine for now as this post is sort of a vent/warning.

I remember this piece... you did such a good job with it... From what i can see from the pictures, its the SAME exact piece, just "revamped" no credit given to you as the ORIGINAL creator, and all credits being taken... :/ I'm really sorry this happened... that's really just not cool... :/ I mean they could have at least said "Oh hey i got this great headdress from _______ but i wanted to change it a bit so i did this." but that doesnt seem to be the case here?
I'm really sorry to see this sort of thing happened. I mean to be inspired and replicate with your own twist is one thing... but to USE something someone else made, add to it, and then claim the ENTIRE thing as YOUR original work? that just seems so.... wrong. I hope the person at least decides to be honest about what they did...

[Morticia Mermaid]

Sad part is, I actually have a recording of a video she took of it where she claims its all entirely her work :( I can post it if people need/want to see it

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this situation technically art theft?

[MermaidBrittany]

Seriously bubble fish and carp stars! Tell me you want to be a friend and not loose our friendship over a guy, then turn around and erase everything? Block me from everything, and just straight up lie to my face?! Use me to help you get the guy then just turn around and act like we don't matter? Well fine! Fish you and don'e come crying to me when he breaks your heart AGAIN! Guppies!

Ook rant done.
Ive been in that situation before, im sorry :( The only thing I could keep telling myself was a relationship is a two was street. and if they arent willing to upkeep their half, its just not worth it. It still hurts, but is better in the long run then associating with someone who continuously screws you over. :no-no:

[-Annwyn-]

I work in a call centre and take calls all day, every shift from vicious and angry people (with a fucking smile plastered on my face.). Yesterday I got the first call of the room this year from someone who blames me for ruining their childrens Christmas because they got a fine.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Ok, it was suggested to me that I should post the video to help provide more proof. So... Here it is.


https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=296121243917117&video_source=pages_fin ch_main_video

I REALLY hate being the person naming names. Really makes me feel bad, but can't be helped here as its said in the video.

[Adalira]

I am so upset I could just scream! Why do people try to scam me out of my artwork!?! :anger explode:

I received an email last night from a previous client that commissioned me a YEAR ago claiming that she never received her commission that she paid for.... Here's the thing...I HAND DELIVERED IT TO HER!!! I know she has it. I personally handed it to her at a show in front of witnesses a YEAR ago!

ARGHHH!!! :headwall:

Omg! Seriously??? The nerve some people have! How did that end? Did you tell her you gave it to her personally?

[Adalira]

Ok, it was suggested to me that I should post the video to help provide more proof. So... Here it is.


https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=296121243917117&video_source=pages_fin ch_main_video

I REALLY hate being the person naming names. Really makes me feel bad, but can't be helped here as its said in the video.

It may vary per country what it "art theft" and what not.
For instance, we know a man who is a performance artist and who always steals the acts of others.
The orginal artists can't do anything about it though.
The moment he changes the music, wears a different costume and just changes it around a little it is not theft anymore (or so he told us) and there is nothing the original artist can do about it.
Off course i don't know if the same goes for the art theft of the handmade art.
I know how much this much suck for you.
The nerve that some people have never seems to end!
I have given up on selling on art markets and such since there are always people wanting to steal your ideas.....and some of them even simply talk about taking my idea and saying it right in front of me, they will take out a camera, make photos or simply discuss with the person with them how to re-make it. Or they simply ask me what materials i use exactly and how i make it.
It is absolutly rediculous and very upsetting. So in order for me to prevent this kind of stress and hurt i simply do not attent art markets anymore.

In your case, i am not sure what you can do about it.
In the end she can claim whatever she wants to get out anything.
And the option of taking her to court is not worth it in the end....all the stress, negative energy, costs of going to court.....
Do not feel bad for name calling....you were asked for the information and you provided it. You have done nothing wrong here.

[Adalira]

So last Thursday i reached the point where i have been sick for 4 weeks already.
My friends and family told me to see a doctor since 4 weeks is way too long.
I decided to wait 1 more day to see what happened.
After another night of barely any sleep i was at a breaking point and decided to call the doctor.
I spoke to the assistant, told her that i had had a cold for over 4 weeks, barely slept, felt like crap and i did not know what to do anymore (i was desperate).
Her reply was:" Did you try nasal spray yet?"
Ok....i know she was trying to help, but i was sorta kinda hoping for her to say:' Ok, i will make an appointment for you and we will see what is going on."
Anyway my reply was:" No i have not, there are so many types of nasal spray, i would not even know which one to buy" i did not tell her that i am not a fan of nasal spray to begin with.
Then she replied:" Ok, well you need to buy a nasal spray with this in it.... (out came a very difficult name that she had to spell for me lol) and you need to use that for a week. If you're not better by then you can call us back and we will make an appointment."
:confused::O_o::sad eyes: Seriously??? I have been sick for over 4 weeks and call you in desperation and you tell me to try out something for another week and see what happens????
Anyway...being the good little girl i am lol i went out and bought the damn nasal spray and am using it since Friday.
Sure it helps and opens up the stuffed nose....but every 5 to 6 hours i need to use it again because my nose gets stuffed again....
You can only use the spray for a week and i fear that on Friday my nose will be just as stuffed again.....i will feel like crap again and it all starts from the beginning yet again!
I will most likely call the doctor on Friday who will then most likely schedule me in for the next week....meaning another couple of days of feeling like crap.
GRRRRRRRR

[Rivertee]

I think there should be a button somewhere in every house than when you press it you get a free delivery of bubble wrap to pop pop pop to make your days better.

[PearlieMae]

So last Thursday i reached the point where i have been sick for 4 weeks already.
My friends and family told me to see a doctor since 4 weeks is way too long.
I decided to wait 1 more day to see what happened.
After another night of barely any sleep i was at a breaking point and decided to call the doctor.
I spoke to the assistant, told her that i had had a cold for over 4 weeks, barely slept, felt like crap and i did not know what to do anymore (i was desperate).
Her reply was:" Did you try nasal spray yet?"
Ok....i know she was trying to help, but i was sorta kinda hoping for her to say:' Ok, i will make an appointment for you and we will see what is going on."
Anyway my reply was:" No i have not, there are so many types of nasal spray, i would not even know which one to buy" i did not tell her that i am not a fan of nasal spray to begin with.
Then she replied:" Ok, well you need to buy a nasal spray with this in it.... (out came a very difficult name that she had to spell for me lol) and you need to use that for a week. If you're not better by then you can call us back and we will make an appointment."
:confused::O_o::sad eyes: Seriously??? I have been sick for over 4 weeks and call you in desperation and you tell me to try out something for another week and see what happens????
Anyway...being the good little girl i am lol i went out and bought the damn nasal spray and am using it since Friday.
Sure it helps and opens up the stuffed nose....but every 5 to 6 hours i need to use it again because my nose gets stuffed again....
You can only use the spray for a week and i fear that on Friday my nose will be just as stuffed again.....i will feel like crap again and it all starts from the beginning yet again!
I will most likely call the doctor on Friday who will then most likely schedule me in for the next week....meaning another couple of days of feeling like crap.
GRRRRRRRR

Get to an emergency room or clinic! A cold does not last 4 weeks, you have a more serious issue!

Fell better soon!

[Rivertee]

I work in a call centre and take calls all day, every shift from vicious and angry people (with a fucking smile plastered on my face.). Yesterday I got the first call of the room this year from someone who blames me for ruining their childrens Christmas because they got a fine.
I know all too well what you mean. I work in retail and people like to tell you their whole life story just to get a discount. Honestly take the time to save money and be responsible and you won't have as many issues.

[Adalira]

Get to an emergency room or clinic! A cold does not last 4 weeks, you have a more serious issue!

Fell better soon!

They will laugh at me when i come in with a cold.
You have no idea how ridiculous the Dutch health system is.
We have emergency doctors you can call when your own doctors office is closed for the day.
You first have to call in and if you do not have an emergency that is needed to be treated that same day you will not be helped.
One of the first things doctors ask is:" Do you have a fever" if the answer is "no" that means nothing serious in their eyes.
My moth in law said i am most likely sick from the mold on our house.
It is a very very old house and i can not win the fight against mold. I clean it where i can whenever i can but i pops up everywhere.
My husband has no problems with it though.

[Adalira]

I work in a call centre and take calls all day, every shift from vicious and angry people (with a fucking smile plastered on my face.). Yesterday I got the first call of the room this year from someone who blames me for ruining their childrens Christmas because they got a fine.

Wow...that is a low thing to say of them!
Just shows how much they want to get their way and that they will use every means possible to get it :-(

[Rivertee]

Ive been in that situation before, im sorry :( The only thing I could keep telling myself was a relationship is a two was street. and if they arent willing to upkeep their half, its just not worth it. It still hurts, but is better in the long run then associating with someone who continuously screws you over. :no-no:
Thanks, the way I look at it it's her loss not mine

[Echidna]

My moth in law said i am most likely sick from the mold on our house.
It is a very very old house and i can not win the fight against mold. I clean it where i can whenever i can but i pops up everywhere.
My husband has no problems with it though.

do not underestimate mold!
even if your relatives don't show obvious symptoms, mold can kill your health, especially if it's sitting in the wall, behind tapestries, under carpets and so on.

It can begin with a stuffed nose, then move on to affect your lungs, brain (headaches!) and general well-being.
I know it's hard if the house is built in a way that generates mold, it's the same in my parents house.

My mother has an ever worsening cough which started out with a stuffed nose.
If you're not sure how high the spore contamination is, you can test it out with a mold kit.

Don't get me started about doctors.
Even if they see you, more often than not, they don't help you at all.
I had a slight fever and a cold that lasted 6 weeks a year ago.
When I went to see the doctor, she looked a bit at me, told me I had a fever (orly), and that it couldn't be helped because my immune system was probably crap.
Then she sent me home.

I used home remedies and stuff, battled the mold in the house for a few weeks, and finally got rid of it.

[Morticia Mermaid]

It may vary per country what it "art theft" and what not.
For instance, we know a man who is a performance artist and who always steals the acts of others.
The orginal artists can't do anything about it though.
The moment he changes the music, wears a different costume and just changes it around a little it is not theft anymore (or so he told us) and there is nothing the original artist can do about it.
Off course i don't know if the same goes for the art theft of the handmade art.
I know how much this much suck for you.
The nerve that some people have never seems to end!
I have given up on selling on art markets and such since there are always people wanting to steal your ideas.....and some of them even simply talk about taking my idea and saying it right in front of me, they will take out a camera, make photos or simply discuss with the person with them how to re-make it. Or they simply ask me what materials i use exactly and how i make it.
It is absolutly rediculous and very upsetting. So in order for me to prevent this kind of stress and hurt i simply do not attent art markets anymore.

In your case, i am not sure what you can do about it.
In the end she can claim whatever she wants to get out anything.
And the option of taking her to court is not worth it in the end....all the stress, negative energy, costs of going to court.....
Do not feel bad for name calling....you were asked for the information and you provided it. You have done nothing wrong here.


Thanks. I'm not planning on going to court with it. But, I am doing a bit of research to provide her with the information as a just in case, because if she did it to me she might do it to someone else (which is why I made the post), and who knows the next person might not be so kind. I don't have any problems with people upcycling things I make or people deciding to change things up after they've bought it. It's just very upsetting that she is claiming the entire thing as 100% her work :( Makes me feel a bit disrespected as she's always asking me if I an make things for her, but as of right now she is on my no sell list (and I hate having to do that). If she had been honest to begin with and said she built on top of a headdress she purchased from me then I'd be ok with that. If she decides to do so now I will still be upset about it because it took making a public post about it for her to say that, AFTER having lied directly to me about it.

I just wanted to let people know what happened so they could know a potential possibility of selling to her, and to see if I'm right in feeling the way I do about it.

[Adalira]

do not underestimate mold!
even if your relatives don't show obvious symptoms, mold can kill your health, especially if it's sitting in the wall, behind tapestries, under carpets and so on.

It can begin with a stuffed nose, then move on to affect your lungs, brain (headaches!) and general well-being.
I know it's hard if the house is built in a way that generates mold, it's the same in my parents house.

My mother has an ever worsening cough which started out with a stuffed nose.
If you're not sure how high the spore contamination is, you can test it out with a mold kit.

Don't get me started about doctors.
Even if they see you, more often than not, they don't help you at all.
I had a slight fever and a cold that lasted 6 weeks a year ago.
When I went to see the doctor, she looked a bit at me, told me I had a fever (orly), and that it couldn't be helped because my immune system was probably crap.
Then she sent me home.

I used home remedies and stuff, battled the mold in the house for a few weeks, and finally got rid of it.

I am starting to think more and more that it must be the mold since i have been feeling like this most of the year and was sick for over a month in April/May as well.
This house is complete crap. The window frames are completly rotten, you can literally poke your fingers right through them.
Most windows are sealed shut with wood so the glass does not fall out, this does mean that it is almost impossible for us to open windows in the house.
Only 2 or 3 windows can open on one side of the house, which is most likely the reason for the mold as well.
I have spent weeks and weeks cleaning mold instantly when i saw it pop up somewhere and still there is mold everywhere.
I cleaned up last week and found another spot covered in mold and i know there are spots behind big closets that are too big and heavy to move.
2 Weeks ago a family came to look at the house and land (my parents put it up for sale) so once this place is sold we will be moving out and building a house ourselves (small wooden house)
The fact that this house is very poorly insulated, barely any windows that can open to ventilate and is so humid and moldy is most likely the cause of my poor health.

I agree with you on doctors! These days they simply feel that if something is not life threatening (in their eyes) they simply do not help you or prescribe anything.
They act as if they do not get paid to help you lol!

[Adalira]

Thanks. I'm not planning on going to court with it. But, I am doing a bit of research to provide her with the information as a just in case, because if she did it to me she might do it to someone else (which is why I made the post), and who knows the next person might not be so kind. I don't have any problems with people upcycling things I make or people deciding to change things up after they've bought it. It's just very upsetting that she is claiming the entire thing as 100% her work :( Makes me feel a bit disrespected as she's always asking me if I an make things for her, but as of right now she is on my no sell list (and I hate having to do that). If she had been honest to begin with and said she built on top of a headdress she purchased from me then I'd be ok with that. If she decides to do so now I will still be upset about it because it took making a public post about it for her to say that, AFTER having lied directly to me about it.

I just wanted to let people know what happened so they could know a potential possibility of selling to her, and to see if I'm right in feeling the way I do about it.

I totally agree with you and would do the same thing if i were in your shoes.
It is very upsetting that it has to come to this just because she can not be honest about it.
Isn't it weird how some people have a hard time giving credit to the people who deserve it?
It is a sad thing to see.
But once again, i totally agree with you and the actions you have/are taking because of it.
This was your creation, your creativity and you should stand up for that.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Thanks Adalira. Its actually really validating hearing that its ok to feel the way I do. I work hard on and put a lot into everything I make. I am always super proud of everything I send out, and end up getting attached to it so I get really sad about sending it away. Its really heart breaking to have this happen.:sad eyes:

[Adalira]

Thanks Adalira. Its actually really validating hearing that its ok to feel the way I do. I work hard on and put a lot into everything I make. I am always super proud of everything I send out, and end up getting attached to it so I get really sad about sending it away. Its really heart breaking to have this happen.:sad eyes:

I completly understand where you are coming from, i really do. And it is totally ok to feel the way you do.
You put hard work and love into everything cause you love doing what you do.
When someone treats your work of art this way and does not even acknowledge that it was your hard work....that is heart breaking.
People can be very very insensitive to creative people and their work.
It would have been fine if she said that the new thing she made out of your was completly her own design, as long as she would have said that the original piece was made by you and that she re-made it. That she created something new out of a creations of you would have been fine, the way she did it is not fine at all and very rude and insensitive of her.

[AniaR]

That's lame. I have had gear fall apart over the years so I'll upcycle it into something new... but this is just plain old stealing!

[shimmygoddess]

Um, IMO that is art theft! But I don't really know the laws, but even so, that is just unethical! I can understand revamping stuff but she specifically said she made it? WTF!!! I am speechless! Glad you posted the video. If people are going to have the balls to be unethical, they need to deal w/ the consequences!!

Edit:
**If she claims it is a different one, I would ask her to photograph them both together b/c they look identical and that you are curious to see if their are any differences. I would also state, that you don't appreciate someone copying your art.


Thanks Adalira. Its actually really validating hearing that its ok to feel the way I do. I work hard on and put a lot into everything I make. I am always super proud of everything I send out, and end up getting attached to it so I get really sad about sending it away. Its really heart breaking to have this happen.:sad eyes:

[-Annwyn-]

Is is low, but to these people I'm worth less than the moldy old gum on the sole of their shoe. It's mind boggling the lack of logic they have and the sheer disregard for other people around them.

[deepblue]

Ok, it was suggested to me that I should post the video to help provide more proof. So... Here it is.


https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=296121243917117&video_source=pages_fin ch_main_video

I REALLY hate being the person naming names. Really makes me feel bad, but can't be helped here as its said in the video.

Wow, she even claims she just Googled and somehow made it from pics... and her other claims. Rather unconscionable. I'm sorry that happened to you, what a rotten thing for someone to do. Glad for the warning.

I've actually not posted my tail designs, or the scales, or some other things I have or want to make, because I have concerns that someone will outright steal the design. Eventually I will probably do it anyway, but it gives me a bit of anxiety even thinking about it because of things like this.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Pretty upset :/

I am FINALLY getting my tail (using a payment plan) and a time like that is very important to a mer. I make the mistake of wanting to gush to my father and he goes off about "have you seen this person's products in person?" Umm, no, it's an internet purchase and she doesn't live in the same state. He scoffs and goes on about it being risky and that I am being naive, saying depressing things like, "you have no for sure way of knowing if she will finish or even make what you want and if so all your money is gone, never gonna see it again". I tried to explain as best I could (by his logic no one should ever buy a tail, or anything online for that matter) he backed off a bit but I know he still thinks I am just being his naive littl girl

I love my dad and usually he is so great to me but his protectiveness comes out in really negative ways sometimes.

I just wanted to gush to someone about how excited I am and how I will be getting my tail in just a matter of months (if I am lucky around my b-day) but instead I just get bummed out.

I worry enough on my own, and logically there is no reason for me to doubt my tail-maker for a milisecond but I am upset and anxious non-the-less

:'(

[Mermaid Freyja]

Pretty upset :/

I am FINALLY getting my tail (using a payment plan) and a time like that is very important to a mer. I make the mistake of wanting to gush to my father and he goes off about "have you seen this person's products in person?" Umm, no, it's an internet purchase and she doesn't live in the same state. He scoffs and goes on about it being risky and that I am being naive, saying depressing things like, "you have no for sure way of knowing if she will finish or even make what you want and if so all your money is gone, never gonna see it again". I tried to explain as best I could (by his logic no one should ever buy a tail, or anything online for that matter) he backed off a bit but I know he still thinks I am just being his naive littl girl

I love my dad and usually he is so great to me but his protectiveness comes out in really negative ways sometimes.

I just wanted to gush to someone about how excited I am and how I will be getting my tail in just a matter of months (if I am lucky around my b-day) but instead I just get bummed out.

I worry enough on my own, and logically there is no reason for me to doubt my tail-maker for a milisecond but I am upset and anxious non-the-less

:'(

Don't let him get you down, and know that even though he is reacting in this way, it comes from his love for you.
For some people who have never had a lot of experience buying online, or know about the amazing network such as what we have here, a blind purchase like this can seem naive. We are so lucky to have the giant group of mers that we have here, to share info on those that indeed could be difficult to do business with.
I was thinking of ordering from a certain tailmaker for my first silicone tail, simply because their work was the first I'd seen. I hadn't yet discovered the other highly talented designers out there (or they were just getting business underway).
Then I read ALL the reviews and posts about the unending problems people have had with this tailmaker, and that saved me from taking a huge risk that might have ended up a big mistake.
Take heart, and when your amazing tail arrives he will eat his words ;-)

[Mermaid Nessie]

I'm a university student who lives in student housing and unfortunately has to eat meal hall food. SO I go to meal hall late in the afternoon, and it's basically dead because, really who the hell eats lunch at 2pm? Anywho, each house has a table, so I notice a guy from my house sitting at our table, and I join him. We get to chatting and he asks "are you the girl who's obsessed with mermaids?" I seriously spent the next 30 minutes or so explaining to him that it is my job and answering all his questions, in the end only to have him tell me how "it's not a real job" and how absolutely weird and stupid it is. I spent half a freaking hour explaining to this guy and answering all of his stupid questions only to have him rip me up in the end....

[Meronica]

Nessie, don't let that loser get you down. I would have told him, "If it's not a real job, why do they pay me in real money? Or are you just bitter because you're stuck working in the mall/fast food restaurant/office/etc.?"

It really sucks when we're trying to be polite and friendly and people are so socially awkward and/or ignorant that they think it's okay to be completely rude. All of us mermaids are wicked awesome and the fact that people know you as "the mermaid girl" is honestly something I would be proud of. (:

[Mermaid Nessie]

Everyone in my house calls me "The Mermaid" I just found it plain rude of him after I so politely sat there and answered all of his questions, when we got off topic and began talking about what were were/wanted to do in school I told him I was going into Early Childhood Education next year, to which he replied "why is education even in the title? All you do is play with kids. Day cares don't actually teach kids anything, it can't be that difficult of a job." As a summer student in a day care and a future ECE student I was just completely baffled at how stupid he sounded and how oblivious he was to the situation. Major offense was taken.

[Meronica]

What an ass. He's just making himself look bad saying stuff like that. You sound awesome and I really wish people at my university would go out of their way to sit and have a conversation with me like you did with him. Even if he felt that way about mermaids and daycare teachers, he should have kept those thoughts to himself.

I hope you forget all about him in no time. ♡ I'm sure it's nothing personal towards you and he just has an ugly personality.

[Princess Pearl]

Ha! I'd like to see how well he does in a room full of 10+ under-five-year-olds. And I'd like to see how parents react when they come to pick up their kids from his day care and he says "we just played all day."

The sad part is he probably thought he was being funny and charming with his comments.

As for my own bitching...

Today is Remembrance Day in Canada. We have 1 minute of silence at 11:00 am to remember those who have fought for our country in times of war. At the store where I work, we made an announcement over the PA, the store manager made a little speech explaining the minute of silence, and we observed the minute of silence. During said minute, we had a guy try and storm into the back office to complain about an order. It's ONE MINUTE. Hush up and show some respect.

[Vixy]

So it's been almost three weeks now. And I'm still in pain. Constantly being in pain and now have a fever. I've had to cancel so many things recently because I just can't make it out and do things I love. Like today I was meant to go out with friends and have a massage.

But woke up with a fever in pain. I'm taking to many painkillers.

Got a doctors appointment, I hope to get rid of this infection soon.



Today is Remembrance Day in Canada. We have 1 minute of silence at 11:00 am to remember those who have fought for our country in times of war. At the store where I work, we made an announcement over the PA, the store manager made a little speech explaining the minute of silence, and we observed the minute of silence. During said minute, we had a guy try and storm into the back office to complain about an order. It's ONE MINUTE. Hush up and show some respect.

Wow seriously? the nerve of some people. Although unfortunately a group of kids set fire to the poppies at a memorial recently.

[Echidna]

I seriously spent the next 30 minutes or so explaining to him that it is my job and answering all his questions, in the end only to have him tell me how "it's not a real job" and how absolutely weird and stupid it is. I spent half a freaking hour explaining to this guy and answering all of his stupid questions only to have him rip me up in the end....

gah, what a waste of precious time on your behalf!
I agree that's annoying.

However, it's not worth taking offense because of a stupid, ignorant person.
When I encounter someone who is clearly too dumb to understand the longest explanation, and just continues to be dumb and offensive, I pity them for being so dense.
If they're also jerks though, as in your case, one should laugh in their faces, write them off, and forget all about them.

[Sherielle]

Everyone in my house calls me "The Mermaid" I just found it plain rude of him after I so politely sat there and answered all of his questions, when we got off topic and began talking about what were were/wanted to do in school I told him I was going into Early Childhood Education next year, to which he replied "why is education even in the title? All you do is play with kids. Day cares don't actually teach kids anything, it can't be that difficult of a job." As a summer student in a day care and a future ECE student I was just completely baffled at how stupid he sounded and how oblivious he was to the situation. Major offense was taken.

At first I was all ticked cause he sounded like he was insulting you. Then I read this portion of your conversation and realized he's just a total dumb ass. As we say in Texas, Bless his heart.

[PearlieMae]

Pretty upset :/

I am FINALLY getting my tail (using a payment plan) and a time like that is very important to a mer. I make the mistake of wanting to gush to my father and he goes off about "have you seen this person's products in person?" Umm, no, it's an internet purchase and she doesn't live in the same state. He scoffs and goes on about it being risky and that I am being naive, saying depressing things like, "you have no for sure way of knowing if she will finish or even make what you want and if so all your money is gone, never gonna see it again". I tried to explain as best I could (by his logic no one should ever buy a tail, or anything online for that matter) he backed off a bit but I know he still thinks I am just being his naive littl girl

I love my dad and usually he is so great to me but his protectiveness comes out in really negative ways sometimes.

I just wanted to gush to someone about how excited I am and how I will be getting my tail in just a matter of months (if I am lucky around my b-day) but instead I just get bummed out.

I worry enough on my own, and logically there is no reason for me to doubt my tail-maker for a milisecond but I am upset and anxious non-the-less

:'(

If you want, you can have him call me. I will send you my phone number via private message. I am an established (if unknown) artist, professional Creative Director and Pro Photographer, lifetime crafter/builder/maker with a huge body of work and awards to show for it.

I'm sure that he just wants to protect you, and yes, all things considered, it could be a very risky proposition, but my name is on it (figuratively) and I am not going to do anything to risk my personal or professional reputation. Have him google me for a brief overview: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22Jolene+Oldham%22&biw=1329&bih=985&source=lnms&sa=X&ei=Mn1jVImmKJW_sQSxy4DQBw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAA&dpr=1.1

[Mermaid Lunette]

If you want, you can have him call me. I will send you my phone number via private message. I am an established (if unknown) artist, professional Creative Director and Pro Photographer, lifetime crafter/builder/maker with a huge body of work and awards to show for it.

I'm sure that he just wants to protect you, and yes, all things considered, it could be a very risky proposition, but my name is on it (figuratively) and I am not going to do anything to risk my personal or professional reputation. Have him google me for a brief overview: https://www.google.com/search?q=%22Jolene+Oldham%22&biw=1329&bih=985&source=lnms&sa=X&ei=Mn1jVImmKJW_sQSxy4DQBw&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAA&dpr=1.1


:sad eyes:

that is so super nice and considerate and proffesional of you :') I honestly wasn't going to bother you with it, I personally didn't doubt you but this extra little effort means the world to me.

I will definitely show him, yes please send me the number if you would.

thank you so much *seriously trying not to cry*

[PearlieMae]

Don't cry, peanut! :hug:

[Mermaid Lunette]

Don't cry, peanut! :hug:

ok :sad eyes:

you are the best! :highfive::hug::hail::rainbow::rollover:

[MarkF]

Nessie, it’s a privilege for strangers to know you, don’t expose your heart like that. Be a little coyer around strangers until you get a read on them. You only need to consider what value is this person to me, be polite. Being coy – When asked “Are you the Mermaid”, you could say “Why? What did you hear?” It politely puts them on the spot and you get to decide what next or not. Even toy with them “Do you believe in Mermaids?”
The daycare thing, that's a gift. Someone has to experience it to know.


When guys are emotionally out of control around women, many times they say stupid things. He may have left thinking in retrospect “That was stupid” as he walks away alone.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Nessie, it’s a privilege for strangers to know you, don’t expose your heart like that. Be a little coyer around strangers until you get a read on them. You only need to consider what value is this person to me, be polite. Being coy – When asked “Are you the Mermaid”, you could say “Why? What did you hear?” It politely puts them on the spot and you get to decide what next or not. Even toy with them “Do you believe in Mermaids?”
The daycare thing, that's a gift. Someone has to experience it to know.


When guys are emotionally out of control around women, many times they say stupid things. He may have left thinking in retrospect “That was stupid” as he walks away alone.

^^ This is excellent advice. It is difficult to find that middle ground, but just keep in mind that you don't owe strangers any answers. You don't even owe friends and family some of them. Just because someone asks, you are not obligated to answer. You have the right to remain silent! :D You can even come up with a few stock answers to use in situations where you might be caught off-guard, such as, "I run my own performance and entertainment business," or, "Mermaids are popular and profitable" when they ask for more. You don't have to expose your heart with your answer. This is the age of people making a living with YouTube videos, and other independent ventures. When you phrase it as you being an independent businesswoman, people tend to shut up.

As for this dude's comment about the kids, clearly he has no idea what he's talking about and should not be taken seriously. Play IS education to those little ones, and a room full of them is a seriously intimidating amount of work. I taught 4 and 5 year olds and those adorable little monsters are more than a handful. And toddlers just scare the carp out of me.

[SINicallyTwisted]

Omg! Seriously??? The nerve some people have! How did that end? Did you tell her you gave it to her personally?

Apparently she is going to "search her home for the piece this weekend" and get back to me and if she can't find it, she wants to discuss a refund, claiming that she doesn't "recall" me giving it to her regardless of the numberous email discussions we had talking about where to bring it for her to pick it up AND witnesses. One of which was her own husband! I don't understand why a refund has to come into play with all this. I know she has it. I handed it to her. How is it my fault if she losses it? Ugh.

:gah:

[MarkF]

Can you ignore her? Once you've told here she has it it would force her to look harder and the feeling your sincere and adamant. They'll soon realize not to mess with someone artistically twisted without looking again.

I not very good at photographing my works or documenting transactions either. Once I'm done I'm mentally into the next. My customers and even my wife asks "Did you take a picture of that?" Ah-noo.

[deepblue]

It's not your fault, and once the product passed into her hands, only something like defects would come into play for something like a refun- this is not that kind of product. You have every right to tell her that this is case closed, you did produce the item and gave it to her in front of witnesses, and there's nothing more to say.

[Rivertee]

ok :sad eyes:

you are the best! :highfive::hug::hail::rainbow::rollover:
My Dad is the same way (I'm 25 and still get those lectures) Dad's don't know how to.tell their Daughters to be smart without being sterm and hard. I mean look at Ariel and Triton, but the love is there. You can always gush to us guppies and then show i t.off loud and proud when it arrives.: fin hugs:

[AniaR]

Self absorbed people who make unsolicited demands for events they aren't and won't be a part of drive me crazy. If you have nothing to do with something, and won't have something to do with it... Why do you think you have a say? -_-

[Adalira]

So tomorrow is the big day!
Finally got a doctors appointment lol!
I called the assistant back yesterday and told her the nasal spray was not working and that i believe i have an allergie for mold, mildew, dust etc.
I asked her if the doctor could take the test for mildew/mold (a skin test) to be sure but she said she did not know what the doctor would do....i mean...really?
Anyway....i bought a purifier with a special filter to kill bacteria, virusses, mold/mildew. It also helps with dust etc.
Since yesterday i have the awesome (NOT) job of cleaning the house as thourough as possible which means i spent last night cleaning the bathroom and toilet and it took me over 4 hours!
Today i cleaned th bedroom and that took another 4 hours!!
Still sooooo much work to be done!
The purifier is great though. The air is so fresh in the bedroom. I will move it around the house to get the effect everywhere at some point.
Having an allergie from mold/mildew dust etc makes total sense. For years now i have been scratching my legs like crazy, i will scratch them open completly till they start bleeding in spots cause of the itching.
I had the doctor and a specialist look at it and both did not know what it could possibly be....this allergie would make total sense.
Also the lack of energy, being/feeling sick all year round.
Lets see what the doctor says tomorrow!
If only there was a magical way to get the house cleaned faster! Any volunteers out there? ;)

[Mermaid Nessie]

Today I got locked out of university residence at 3am. Had to crash in at a friend's place in another residence, did not sleep because of how uncomfortable it is to squish two people in a tiny little dorm bed. Finally got let back into my own residence at 7am, decided to try and sleep for an hour before I had to wake up to write a midterm which was worth 25% of my grade. Went to the midterm in my pj's and a hoodie, completely bombed it because I couldn't finish studying due to being locked out. Came home at 11am from the midterm, next thing you know I wake up at 4:30pm, hadn't gone to dining hall all day or even gotten dressed. To top it all off my roomate went away for the weekend and left a mess all around the room. Now I have an english paper to write tonight which is due tomorrow and have to go shopping for a charity event I'm doing on the weekend. #UniversityProblems

[Mermaid Wesley]

I feel your pain. Get an energy drink and kick some tail


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Nessie]

Grabbed a coffee and went to the library! About half done, my brain is just mush so I figured I'll finish it in the morning before class.

[Naufra]

I commute by bus to my college and live with my parents who pick me up from the nearest park-and-ride and bring me home at 11pm every school night. The last day of classes for this semester is December 8th, most of my finals are that day. I cannot miss school that day. My parents have to be at a mandatory company party two-hours away that evening, so if I go to school I will have absolutely no way home that night. I've asked friends for help, to no avail, and have contacted my teachers about taking my exams early, but haven't heard back yet. I'm hoping my teachers come through, because if not, I'm S.O.L.

[Meronica]

Zicoxite, have you tried Uber? They always have those $25 promo codes out, so it probably wouldn't be too expensive to try just once...

[Naufra]

I haven't tried Uber, Meronica, thank you for the suggestion. There are ongoing debates among politicians in my area about whether Uber's operating model is entirely legal in my state, and they recently legalized it temporarily until the government can work out more permanent laws for it. Their price quote tool says it wouldn't be very expensive, so that may work out. Have you used them before?

[Meronica]

Here in California they're really popular for people looking for a cheap way to get home after a night out. (: I've used them twice and had no problems.

I was doing college without a car for most of my freshman year and know what a pain it can be. I hope everything works out! Exams are stressful enough without having to worry about how you'll be getting home!

[Adalira]

So.....i completly wasted my time at the doctors office today!
First i was 15 minutes late due to the fact that they were working on roads and i had to drive all the way around to get there.
Anyway....i get there and when it finally was my turn she said i would have to do a blood test at the hospital to find out what i am allergic to.
I will have to pay for that myself and she said someone told her that it was €150!!! She said she thought it was only €80...which is still a ton of money in my eyes.
She also prescribed me a nasal spray even after i told her that the nasal spray i had now gave me nose bleeds and pain in my nose.
Her reply was:" Well lets hope this one does not doe that." Seriously?? She wants me to just try and see??
She also prescribed a cream for my arm.
She checked my ear and saw there is a small ball of wax blocking my ear ( i told her i have trouble with my ear since today) but she was not willing to remove it now....se said i had to go home and make a new appointment. SUch bullshit!!
Only reason she wants me to do that so she can write yet another check to my insurance company.
So....i did not get the cream or nasal spray since i have to pay for that myself and i will no longer use a nasal spray if my nose is in pain from it. The cream is another guess she made and not wasting my money on a guess.
Such a lovely waste of my time GRRRR
Back to cleaning the house top to bottom and hoping that plus the purifier will help.
Geez....what the hell is wrong with doctors these days!
GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!:anger explode:

[AniaR]

So I'm not sure if anyone in the USA is aware of a famous Canadian court case happening this week about a rape victim who killed herself. Her found guilty rapists and guys who distributed videos and pics of her being raped were let off with a very light sentence.

I recently shared an article about it on my FB account and because there is a publication ban on her name, it was a bit cryptic. Now the status I wrote that went along with it would make sense to anyone who knows about the incident. But for anyone who didnt know what happened, it could be confusing.

Enter my friend Steve Anton the awesome super sweet photographer who is super against rape. He read the status and thought the victim was actually the perp (very easy to see how that could happen if you know nothing about it and read my original status- my bad on not being clear and assuming everyone knew about it) Steve always has choice words about rapists, so he wrote some. I realized instantly he confused who the perp and the vic were so I attempted to clarify. Steve has donated time and helps victims of all sorts of trauma out a lot, along with helping animals. Not only can you see that all over his PUBLIC fb page, anyone who knows him can attest to how he speaks up for victims and says nasty things about evil people.

Enter a local woman I have a friend on that account. By trying to clarify things to Steve and let the other people know in the thread *how* Steve got confused, she started calling me a rape defender. She started saying some of the worst and most hurtful things that have ever been said to me in my life. I would never defend or support rape. The victims mother has spoken to me and helped me help a family member who was raped. And this woman threatened to tell this mother that I was defending the rape of her daughter that eventually lead to this girl's suicide. AND THIS IS ON AN ARTICLE I'VE SHARED THAT SUPPORTS THE VICTIM STATING MY SUPPORT FOR THE VICTIM. She went CRAZY with the comments, each one worse than the last and kept naming my business as a rape supporting business! And said my next book should be about how I defended rapists!

I tried over and over to explain to this woman- who has been a fan and online friend for at least 5 years- that I wasn't defending anyone, just trying to explain that my friend confused who was who and that he is very much against rape. But it didnt matter she just hurled insult after insult. I even explained to her that she should know me better than to assume something like that and that I was very hurt by her statements.

She just blocked and deleted me. I did try sending her a heart to heart messaging explaining that I understand we're all angry about how light the perps got off and so emotions are running high, but I'm not the enemy here. If someone had wrongfully assumed something horrible about her , I'd step in then too.

I am just heart broken that not only would she turn on a dime after knowing me so long, that she makes no effort to understand my POV, and she's now slandering my business and going to tell this poor victim's mother that I am defending rape?!?!

Even though she deleted her comments I left mine up in hopes that if anyone does listen to her they can go and at least see how hard I tried to make things right and explain them. but man :( I have been so thrown under the bus, because I wouldn't throw steve under the bus because he misunderstood a cryptic post. :( it wasnt intentionally cryptic it's just the nature of the beast because of the name publication ban :(


edit: she sent me a really nasty message that makes it clear she doesnt even understand Steve confused the perp and the vic... WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME RAPIST HATING SIDE HERE FOLKS.

[Adalira]

So I'm not sure if anyone in the USA is aware of a famous Canadian court case happening this week about a rape victim who killed herself. Her found guilty rapists and guys who distributed videos and pics of her being raped were let off with a very light sentence.

I recently shared an article about it on my FB account and because there is a publication ban on her name, it was a bit cryptic. Now the status I wrote that went along with it would make sense to anyone who knows about the incident. But for anyone who didnt know what happened, it could be confusing.

Enter my friend Steve Anton the awesome super sweet photographer who is super against rape. He read the status and thought the victim was actually the perp (very easy to see how that could happen if you know nothing about it and read my original status- my bad on not being clear and assuming everyone knew about it) Steve always has choice words about rapists, so he wrote some. I realized instantly he confused who the perp and the vic were so I attempted to clarify. Steve has donated time and helps victims of all sorts of trauma out a lot, along with helping animals. Not only can you see that all over his PUBLIC fb page, anyone who knows him can attest to how he speaks up for victims and says nasty things about evil people.

Enter a local woman I have a friend on that account. By trying to clarify things to Steve and let the other people know in the thread *how* Steve got confused, she started calling me a rape defender. She started saying some of the worst and most hurtful things that have ever been said to me in my life. I would never defend or support rape. The victims mother has spoken to me and helped me help a family member who was raped. And this woman threatened to tell this mother that I was defending the rape of her daughter that eventually lead to this girl's suicide. AND THIS IS ON AN ARTICLE I'VE SHARED THAT SUPPORTS THE VICTIM STATING MY SUPPORT FOR THE VICTIM. She went CRAZY with the comments, each one worse than the last and kept naming my business as a rape supporting business! And said my next book should be about how I defended rapists!

I tried over and over to explain to this woman- who has been a fan and online friend for at least 5 years- that I wasn't defending anyone, just trying to explain that my friend confused who was who and that he is very much against rape. But it didnt matter she just hurled insult after insult. I even explained to her that she should know me better than to assume something like that and that I was very hurt by her statements.

She just blocked and deleted me. I did try sending her a heart to heart messaging explaining that I understand we're all angry about how light the perps got off and so emotions are running high, but I'm not the enemy here. If someone had wrongfully assumed something horrible about her , I'd step in then too.

I am just heart broken that not only would she turn on a dime after knowing me so long, that she makes no effort to understand my POV, and she's now slandering my business and going to tell this poor victim's mother that I am defending rape?!?!

Even though she deleted her comments I left mine up in hopes that if anyone does listen to her they can go and at least see how hard I tried to make things right and explain them. but man :( I have been so thrown under the bus, because I wouldn't throw steve under the bus because he misunderstood a cryptic post. :( it wasnt intentionally cryptic it's just the nature of the beast because of the name publication ban :(


edit: she sent me a really nasty message that makes it clear she doesnt even understand Steve confused the perp and the vic... WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME RAPIST HATING SIDE HERE FOLKS.


Oh my...i am so sorry to hear about this! Off course you are not to blame here.
Honestly...if this woman is such a long time friend and customer of yours she should be open enough to hear your side of the story and understand a mis communication when there is one.
It is unbelievable that she brings up your business in this....why on earth bring up your business?
Honestly...these are the type of "friends" and 'customers" you do not need in your life.
If you have tried to reach out to her again and she still is acting delussional than leave it be.....if she is not up for reasoning now, she may never be.
If you are worried about the mother of the rape victim you could always contact her and explain the situation to give her a heads up in case this lunatic woman decides to contact her and make up god knows what story to her.
All you can do is stay true to yourself, who you are and what you represent. If she is unwilling to communicate with you and hear your side than that's her loss and her misstake.
Do not spend too much time on her because it is a waste of time and energy.
I understand that is hard to do because she is doing you wrong and spreading lies about you, but there is nothing you can do about that.
The people who truly know you will know she is telling lies.
It could also be that something is going on in this woman's life, something stressful and she is taking it out on you.
She may have found an easy target to release stress on which is sad.
Maybe in time she will realise what she has done and said, who knows.
I wish you strength through this stressful time and a big hug is coming your way :group hug:

[AniaR]

She wasn't a customer just a supporter. I was really really hurt and upset last night, not just for myself but for Steve. But now that I've slept on it I realize it looks from her comments that she's hated me and or resented me for a long time. So Perhaps she was just looking for anything she could to jump on. She also went back and deleted all her comments with many have pointed out is an admission of guilt anyway. And I agree. If she stood by what she said, why delete it?

This incident is very serious and emotions are running high in my city because everyone is so angry at the lack of justice. I can appreciate if people feel sensitive talking about it. But there's really no excuse for her behaviour or refusal to see that Steve made a very clear mistake in how he head read the post. She kept throwing in things that has zero to do with the situation and kept demonstrating that she didnt even understand what had happened. I think she just jumped the gun honestly. Like I said, all 3 of us are on the same rapist hating side. Steve just read the post wrong and misunderstood who the rapist was. Like how much clearer can I be you know? She's choosing to distort it which is sad.

Also, if I am sharing a post in support of rape victims (that's what started all of this) how can you accuse me of being a rape supporter. Is anyone a freaking rape supporter? Like what a crazy jump.

I'm not going to let it get me down anymore. It just really really shocked me and I had trouble processing how crazily she escalated it. I wish I could have handled the situation faster but I was out at a play with my phone turned off so Steve's comment had been up for several hours. I also had no way to do anything beyond making comments in the thread because I was using my secondary account through a browser (meaning I didnt have all the admin ability you have when you use FB through an ap) until I got home and got access to a computer, so I could then delete the comment.

In the end I just deleted the whole thing, and reshared the article with a clarified caption at the top. I still support the victim, I still think sharing the article is important, and I tried to clarify the meaning behind it this time for anyone who isn't aware of the story.

You can be assured when someone WANTS to be offended, they will move heaven and earth to do so.

[PearlieMae]

Pardon my language, but some people are just fucking assholes and there's nothing you can do about it. She sound like she was gunning for you, and I can't imagine why. Fuck her.

[MarkF]

I think professionally you just stay quiet. If asked say "It's an unfortunate misunderstanding as you can imagine her statement is completely untrue. She's going though a very difficult time and I wish her comfort and healing." Do a sorta sad smile and walk away.
She's already caused you enough pain and inconvenience.

[Adalira]

Amen to both Pearliemae and MarkF :)

So today i wanted to clean a big part of the livingroom and go bring to Germany to my brother to bring a couch and table and get some storage shelfs in return.
After cleaning for a few hours my nose got stuffed worse than ever and anytime i swallowed my tongue started to vacuum suck itself shut in my mouth and my ears would "pop" so i lost part of my hearing....i was starting to get scared from this.
At my brothers i called the emergency pharmacy in the hospital to ask if i could come by for my prescription nasal spray (the one i did not want to use in the first place....but since things got this bad i had no choice) she could hear on the phone in what state i was and she told me to come by later.
On the car ride home from Germany it got worse and worse where my throat/mouth was making weird sounds cause of the vacuum suckage that was going on.
I have been feeling sick and having to deal with this "cold" for over 5 weeks now that i just started to cry from desperation.
Long story short...i got the nasal spray and i asked the nurse how long i would take before it would work and her answer was:" It will take a while before it works." i was like " What? Are you serious? It is 100% stuffed up there and it is starting to suck vacuum." She was like:" Yes i can hear it is very bad right now...you know what...you should use the one you were using this week already and just use it a few days extra and than switch to this one."
About 30 minutes ago i ate dinner (around 11 pm) because with the vacuum suckage going on it was impossible. Just made myself a hot pad and a cup of tea and going to lay down the rest of the night.
I am so fed up with whatever it is that is going on inside of my body right now!
Next week i hope to have the entire house cleaned top to bottom....if for some reason i do not get better after that.....i may kill someone :anger explode:

[Echidna]

so sorry to hear, Adalira.
I know it's scary to have something with your health going on, and no one takes you seriously or can help.

I recommend the following:
-do NOT go back to cleaning where there is mold. Let someone else, preferably a pro, handle it.
If you try to clean without killing it first (alcohol does wonders), you just cause the spores to explode and fly everywhere.

-avoid anything that could irritate your nose further- smelling things, perfumes, dust, and so on.
-if you can, spend a few days or longer elsewhere, NOT in the moldy house.
-get as much fresh, clean air outside as possible.
-try a neti pot. It gets stuff that's lodged in your sinuses out, bacteria and mold included.
It's also great for allergies.

Good luck, I hope you get better soon!

[Echidna]

oh, and concerning nasal sprays.
Have a good look at the ingredients before using them please.
Many ingredients are not good and harmful for the nasal flora, so even if the spray momentarily brings relief, you get "addicted" to it and can never stop or your nose clogs up again.

What you can use, is spray containing isotonic, clean (salt)water.
It helps your nose clean itself without damaging anything.
It also helps with clogged ears.
It's great for common cold as well, because it helps keeping your mucous membranes intact, which is the best defense against irritants of any form.

[PearlieMae]

Absolutely! You have to get away from the irritant! I know it might be hard if your the only one to clean it, but if you have to, go pick up a dust filter mask at the very least! A canister respirator/filter would be even better! Good luck!

[Yulia]

It's not possible to get an appointment at another clinic?

[CowgirlMermaid]

I hope you get well soon Adalira!
Sounds like you must feel afwul and crappy for a long time now.


While on the subject of health,
I have a slight pain in my chest since november last year, with sometimes a months not feeling the pain.
When I feel it, sometimes it not very noticalbe, but sometimes it feel like my heart can stop beating anytime.
I hasn't, but the fear is still there, even after the doctor told me everything was fine.
It at the point now where I'd rather not sleep alone at night for fear something might go wrong and I might not be here tomorrow.
And i'm only 18....
First I thought it was the Pill, so stoppen taking it, but the pain did not went away.
I tried getting more sleep at night, but it still didn't help with the pain.
We even thought of breast cancer but couldn't find anything after feeling.
My parents think I'm being overreacting over it, but my boyfriend it really supportive when a strike of pain hits me.
I'm afraid to go to the doctor again, but I'm considering to get a full bodyscan at the hospital to see if they can find anything.
Now even in times when the pain is gone, I'm afraid to be happy, for fear it'll come back, and so far it has returned every time it was gone.

Has any of you ever had this and know what it is?
I'm really scared and want the pain and fear to be gone.

[Adalira]

Thank you for all the information Echidna!
Unfortunatly i am the only one who can clean everything. My husband has a fear of any type of dirt and freaks out over having to touch anything that could possibly be dirty/harmful.
Hiring a professional is something we can not afford, else i would definitly go for that option.
I cleaned with a respirator the other days but forgot to put one on today since i was in a hurry to clean.....that was a huge misstake i know :-(
We did pick up the steam cleaner from my brothers house tonight so i will use that tomorrow as well when i clean.
I bought 2 nasal sprays i Germany, 1 with all natural ingredients which did not help at all and one with also salt water in it which also did not help at all.
The one i have now works but i will stop using it asap because i do not like nasal sprays one bit.
I really like the neti pot you are talking about (looked it up immediatly) and i may purchase one since i always have problems with my nose with allergies and such.
It just has never been as bad as this year and today is just unreal.
No other clinic is going to help me in a different way.
The Dutch health care system really sucks and more often than not will you not be taken seriously.

So tomorrow i am back to cleaning WITH a respirator, i promise PearlieMae <3

[Adalira]

I hope you get well soon Adalira!
Sounds like you must feel afwul and crappy for a long time now.


While on the subject of health,
I have a slight pain in my chest since november last year, with sometimes a months not feeling the pain.
When I feel it, sometimes it not very noticalbe, but sometimes it feel like my heart can stop beating anytime.
I hasn't, but the fear is still there, even after the doctor told me everything was fine.
It at the point now where I'd rather not sleep alone at night for fear something might go wrong and I might not be here tomorrow.
And i'm only 18....
First I thought it was the Pill, so stoppen taking it, but the pain did not went away.
I tried getting more sleep at night, but it still didn't help with the pain.
We even thought of breast cancer but couldn't find anything after feeling.
My parents think I'm being overreacting over it, but my boyfriend it really supportive when a strike of pain hits me.
I'm afraid to go to the doctor again, but I'm considering to get a full bodyscan at the hospital to see if they can find anything.
Now even in times when the pain is gone, I'm afraid to be happy, for fear it'll come back, and so far it has returned every time it was gone.

Has any of you ever had this and know what it is?
I'm really scared and want the pain and fear to be gone.

If you are this worried about it to the point where you are afraid to sleep alone at night and it is unnfluencing your life this much i would suggest going back to the doctor and asking for a check up in the hospital.
If for nothing else, than at least your own peace of mind.
Explain to the doctor how this fear is affecting your life. A doctor can not do the kind of tests you would get in a hospital.
Good luck!

[CowgirlMermaid]

Thank you.
I will talk to my boyfriend and decide if and when I'll go for a bodycheck.
The weird thing is, now that I'm living with my boyfriend, I sleep really good at night.
But I think I've had the worst part months ago already.
In that time I was walking outside, and and a old man was walking on the other side of the road, and I thought "I'm probably more afraid of dying than that man is"
I can sleep alone, I just don't feel really safe and comfortable,
and when I go out of the house alone I always make sure I have my phone with me, which it not a bad thing, but the reason behind is scary.

[Yulia]

One reason to have chest pain is underlying anxiety and stress. It's not dangerous, but since you've had problems for so long, it's probably best to get a check up.

[AniaR]

E.r. on my birthday. Laaaame! Lol

[AniaR]

Cowgirl sounds like thanathophobia which I have. Fear of death. Worse at bed time. Worse when alone. Feel free to pm me and we can chat about it. Often causes heart palpitations

[Mermaid Lunette]

My Dad is the same way (I'm 25 and still get those lectures) Dad's don't know how to.tell their Daughters to be smart without being sterm and hard. I mean look at Ariel and Triton, but the love is there. You can always gush to us guppies and then show i t.off loud and proud when it arrives.: fin hugs:

Thanks ♥ that's really sweet ^^ I so will ^--^

[CowgirlMermaid]

It only started after I began having the chest pain.
And when I have no chest pain nothing is wrong, I sleep like a baby, even when alone, I'll go out with no fear of anything.
It's only when I feel the pain, that I'm scard of what can/might happen.

[-Annwyn-]

Pardon my language, but some people are just fucking assholes and there's nothing you can do about it. She sound like she was gunning for you, and I can't imagine why. Fuck her.

This. Seems like she's resented you for a while now and was looking for something - anything - as a reason to cut ties with you.

[-Annwyn-]

Cowgirl sounds like thanathophobia which I have. Fear of death. Worse at bed time. Worse when alone. Feel free to pm me and we can chat about it. Often causes heart palpitations


Hey Raina, think about this.
Do you remember that time before you were born? No? Me neither. That's how I think death will be like. In the whole span of time and space, we are only here for a mere blip of time before we continue to not exist anymore like we did before we were born.

The brain is a bastard at bedtime though. Personally, I'm not afraid of death, but perhaps a little concerned over how it will be.

[AniaR]

Yeah you can't erase it that way. It is spurned on by trauma, hereditary, new health issues or chronic ones. I have been battling it for years as I have PTSD. Though I have overcome every symptom of PTSD except this. I also had serious childhood illness and chronic illness as an adult. And I've had more than one near death experience. Plus I sincerely believe on both sides of my family diff people suffer from it. Everyone is a little afraid of death it is natural. But it becomes a phobia when it prevents you from living a normal life. Ever wonder what my motivation is to do so much? Obsession with my own mortality.

I actually manage it really well though. I went to therapy and support groups. But it never really goes away. Its always sort of there and I know from being educated on it that many people can develope it after a health scare and if they ignore it, it doesn't go away even after the danger has passed.

Its also a cycle. Eg cowgirl Has chest pain. It scares her. Then she has more chest pain because she's scared.

Docs don't usually do a body scan. They hook you up for a day and a night to a portable heart monitor ECG. Then they look at the data
9 times out of 10 they determine it is a common irythmia (sp) that 50% of the population has. It can be painful occasionally and because the pain scares people the become anxious about it which causes it more.

I was going to explain It all in pm but I've been down that rabbit hole and during highschool and university known at least 4 friends as well. It is more common than people think.

Good to address it asap as lingering death fears spurned on by it can create a trauma memory in the brain and persist if left alone.

[Kaila Mermaid]

I had to go to leave work early about a month ago to go to the ER due to chest pain and loss of feeling in my extremities. After hours in the room, came back with possibly Diabetes and heart palpitations. I may not be the smallest mer, but I didn't think I was at risk for diabetes, seeing as I don't have a family history of it. Granted, I was on medication that increases blood sugar levels for an illness that Urgent Care decided to label bronchitis. I had tried explaining that I was showing the symptoms on my discharge sheet that said I needed to come back if.. but to no avail. I have no health insurance and work part time and now have a thousand-something dollar medical bill looming over my head, and still haven't seen a cardiologist or had an A1C. The palpitations are very painful and almost feel as if it's a full-blown heart attack at times. That's originally what they assumed when I arrived at the ER. I don't really know what to do at the time, because it doesn't necessarily seem to correlate to my anxiety. *heavy sigh*

[Echidna]

I may not be the smallest mer, but I didn't think I was at risk for diabetes, seeing as I don't have a family history of it.
You don't have to be overweight to get diabetes.
There are skinny, young healthy people who get it too.

There are several types of Diabetes, and all points to one of those types being caused by a prior bacterial infection which damages the gall bladder I think it was, and with the tissue damaged the diabetes develops.

Just as certain cancer types are caused by viruses and not by genetics.
Medications you get for all sorts of illnesses are usually more useful for filling the pharmacy's pockets than curing you.
Go figure.

[CowgirlMermaid]

Docs don't usually do a body scan. They hook you up for a day and a night to a portable heart monitor ECG. Then they look at the data
9 times out of 10 they determine it is a common irythmia (sp) that 50% of the population has. It can be painful occasionally and because the pain scares people the become anxious about it which causes it more.


The last time I went to my doctor, which is now 6 á 7 months ago, he told me I could go to the hospital for a body scan. Not a day and night monitoring thingy.
Right now everything is going good, most of the time no pain, though I'm scared a little bit when I do feel it. But then after 2 or 3 hours it's gone again. And I'm still alive. and the weekly/monthly breaks when I have no pain are getting longer so I think going quite well now.

[Fun123joker]

doctor offices suck. one time we went to a new clinic and a new doctor. ok im a teenager and a teenager's diet is mostly made up of fatty unhelthy food (unless you are in sports) right so my mom was trying to explain it to this really tall doctor. he asked if she would describe it as a eating disorder and she said yes. thing is after that the doctor jumped to conclusions asking my mom if i suffer massive weight loss and if i had anorexia. no matter how much my mom tried to explain he wouldnt listen. sitting on the bed thing i called out that i do not have anorexia thats when the doctor turned to me and said "all people who say they dont have anorexia , has anorexia" and turned back to my mom to ask more questions about if i had an eating disorder. witch in my eyes pretty much said this is about you so stay out of it. we left making no progress.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Having to work through pain sucks. Last 2 days I have been in so much pain I haven't stopped crying. Just ate for the first time today. Most people have 1 set (4 teeth) wisdom teeth, I've got 2 (8 teeth) with another set coming in (and entirely in the wrong place/angle). Calling the dentist on Tuesday, when they open, to set an appointment to get a referral for the surgery to have them all removed. So I'll be in this pain for about 2 weeks minimum. If I try to go straight to the surgery without the referral, I'm looking at a minimum of a month of pain for all the paperwork to go through :( This seriously sucks.

[deepblue]

Having to work through pain sucks. Last 2 days I have been in so much pain I haven't stopped crying. Just ate for the first time today. Most people have 1 set (4 teeth) wisdom teeth, I've got 2 (8 teeth) with another set coming in (and entirely in the wrong place/angle). .

You're the only person outside my ex-bro-in-law's family who I've heard of with that. My sister's kids by him all get three sets of teeth and so two sets of wisdom, if I recall correctly. Very sharky of you all. But I'm sorry you're in pain and I hope it's gone fast.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Thanks deepblue. Trying to keep my mouth numbed by sticking ice in my cheek. Tried stuff like oragel, only lasts about 20 min then the pain is back :(

[AniaR]

Have you tried orajel? Might take the edge off :(

[Morticia Mermaid]

Yeah. Only lasts about 20 min before it wears off. Going to try to get into a dentist tomorrow as an emergency. Can't sleep tonight because it hurts so much. Crying because it hurts so much with makes it hurt worse :( Hardly ate today because I can barely open my mouth without it hurting, hurts to even go through drinking motions

[SeaGlass Siren]

So... Erm.. What happened to the forum? 0-0

[Sherielle]

So... Erm.. What happened to the forum? 0-0What do you mean?

[SeaGlass Siren]

nevermine i logged onto the computer. on my iphone it's making the forum look wierd

[Adalira]

Yeah. Only lasts about 20 min before it wears off. Going to try to get into a dentist tomorrow as an emergency. Can't sleep tonight because it hurts so much. Crying because it hurts so much with makes it hurt worse :( Hardly ate today because I can barely open my mouth without it hurting, hurts to even go through drinking motions

I would definitly try to get in somewhere as an emergency. When you are in this much pain and can barely eat it is time to take action for sure.
Good luck and i hope you feel a lot better soon! Big merhug coming your way <3

[Adalira]

Last night i finally got all the cleaning done, or at least most of it. I have the purifier on full blast in the living room now and i feel a lot better.
Yesterday slept til 1.30 pm! And today 12.30 pm so that shows how much sleep i have been missing lately.
My energy levels are slowly going up again to. Can't wait to feel like myself again!
Thank god i am feeling better cause that means i don't have to kill anyone :dance:

[Morticia Mermaid]

Spent since I woke up trying to find a dentist that would take my insurance, state assisted insurance, AND that is also taking new patients. Called insurance company, they gave me a number for a place in town to call, called them and the lady was rude and said that they couldn't see me until next month! Called insurance back, they said they had just called them and told them to expect our call, and that it was an emergency :/ So called them back and the lady was much nicer after insurance called them again. Finally have an appointment on Thursday, was the earliest they could get me in :( Good news though, they phoned in a Rx for antibiotics as they think from talking over the phone that I have at least one tooth that's abscessed :headwall: Can pick it up later this afternoon.

Why is it, regarding health in the US, its just a giant run around? But yeah, probably going to call work this afternoon and ask if my roommate can cover my shift (we work together) tomorrow. Other roommate did all the talking for me on the phone because talking hurt so much. One call I had to give verbal permission for them to talk to her, only said 2 or 3 words then spent the next 2 1/2 hours bawling because of how bad it hurt. I've got a high pain tolerance, and it takes a lot for me to cry. So, for this to have me bawling means I am in a LOT of pain :(

[Adalira]

Trust me it is no better in the Netherlands over here.
I am glad you are getting anti biotics...it sucks though that you have to wait until thursday. I hope the antibiotics will help you with the pain a bit!

[AniaR]

oh sweety we have health care and it's a giant f*cking run around here too. LOL it sucks. Im glad you getting some meds

[PearlieMae]

Well, this is going to make things even harder on artists, performers, and small businesses...

Facebook Will Curtail Unpaid Ads by Brands
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/15/technology/facebook-to-cut-unpaid-posts-by-marketers-on-news-feeds.html?_r=0

[Mermaid Wesley]

screw facebook seriously.

[AniaR]

sure buy an add. watch them default the demographic TO TURKEY NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. I AM SO BIG IN TURKEY GUYS NOT THAT IT DOES A DAMN THING FOR ME. -_- changed my ad settings multiple times, even have screen caps of it. still turkey

[Echidna]

screw facebook seriously.

this.
It's halfway ok for getting into contact with people (preferably those that you know), and a horrible cluster&%$ for anything else.
Since it wasn't designed for business, I guess one cannot complain. :P

[Meronica]

Now I'm tempted to make a Facebook group called "Raina's Turkish Fan Club". :P

[Miyu]

About Morticia's headdress problem... I saw that particular headdress in person before it was shipped out. I also recognize quite a few of Morticia's trademarks and specific supplies in the video posted by the person claiming they made it themself - Morticia's work is awesome and she does a lot of little things to make her work have unique qualities, and I (thankfully) get to see enough of her awesome work to be able to identify it, even in a blurry video. I even have a headdress Morti gave me that has a lot of the same details, I can point out the exact same things on mine (I did stick my headdress onto a headband - because I got rid of all my hair - but I ALWAYS credit Morticia's work).

Adalira: Mold is seriously no laughing matter - thankfully my mertender is compassionate towards my many allergies and sensitivities, and he ALWAYS makes sure I stay away from anything that smells/looks like it has mold or mildew. Those spores can get in your brain, and that's pretty scary! Is is possible for you to get an inexpensive de-humidifier to keep around you, particularly while you sleep?
Another thing that can help the atmosphere around you is burning PURE beeswax candles (must be actual, pure beeswax, with a pure cotton wick). Beeswax candles help purify the air around you, and the cotton wicks don't have lead in them like regular candles do. I'm not sure what your local availability would be, but I know you can order them online from reputable herb stores (drop me a PM if you need some suppliers). I have a single beeswax candle (almost gone), and it's been a lifesaver for me - I live in a rainforest, and it's always wet, and my room is just an enclosed porch with some carpeting in it... so our windows are always damp, and a big section of the wall had to be replaced because of mold before I even moved in (which means there's a strong possibility there's still mold in the walls). Burning the beeswax candle always eases my breathing :) I also use things like tea tree oil (I use it in a lot of things, daily, it helps a lot) and make sure to eat kelp regularly so I can get rid of toxins better.
I use a ton of homemade remedies, because of my multiple sensitivities and conditions, so I have a lot of info if you're interested, just drop me a line, I could go on for days :p



So I guess I'm sick now, my eyes hurt and whenever I get sick, I get a cold sore in my nose... Gross, I know, but at least it's not on my lip anymore - my grandma gave it to me when I was little and now my immune system decided that I get it EVERY time I'm sick (not just once a year any more). Thankfully I managed to attack it with a SUPER-EFFECTIVE remedy as soon as I felt it come on (it's a mixture of pure, real vanilla extract; witch hazel; and tea tree oil), but now I need to wait at least another day or two before I can attempt to go take these photos that I desperately need to take for business/mermaid stuff...

[Vrindavana Starfish]

screw facebook seriously.

Yep. I've quit Facebook twice now. Too many passive aggressive people that I don't care to be "friends" with, too many "friends" that would never in a million years pick up a phone to actually talk to me, and I didn't find it useful for marketing. I know its great marketing for lots of people, but I didn't think it was at all worth the trouble for what I got out of it.

[shimmygoddess]

People taking photos online and not giving proper credit. I have had photos cropped, edited, and actually found someone using my face as their profile pic once. I share alot of photos online and I honestly don't mind people sharing them because some are fabulous, but please give 'proper' photo credit. Another mermaid tagged me this morning after finding my photo on another Instagram crediting Fin Fun. I am not sure of the user, but if they are on this forum, please give proper photo credit for this image. I took this image of my daughter. Thanks: Woodland Willow Photography

25492

http://www.enjoygram.com/m/848422571280278966_1524156384

[deepblue]

this.
It's halfway ok for getting into contact with people (preferably those that you know), and a horrible cluster&%$ for anything else.
Since it wasn't designed for business, I guess one cannot complain. :P

True- I have a great time with it keeping connected with friends, there are people I'd otherwise never keep up on. They're all over the world, and yet I can connect with them all in one place. But- and that's a BIG but, when anyone talks about having a FB Page for a business, I direct them to the many resources explaining how FB works so they aren't going in thinking they will have reach. FB is a typical huge business, gives not a single damn about almost anything but the money. People forget that, because they're used to the interpersonal connections.

[Sherielle]

Spent since I woke up trying to find a dentist that would take my insurance, state assisted insurance, AND that is also taking new patients. Called insurance company, they gave me a number for a place in town to call, called them and the lady was rude and said that they couldn't see me until next month! Called insurance back, they said they had just called them and told them to expect our call, and that it was an emergency :/ So called them back and the lady was much nicer after insurance called them again. Finally have an appointment on Thursday, was the earliest they could get me in :( Good news though, they phoned in a Rx for antibiotics as they think from talking over the phone that I have at least one tooth that's abscessed :headwall: Can pick it up later this afternoon.

Why is it, regarding health in the US, its just a giant run around? But yeah, probably going to call work this afternoon and ask if my roommate can cover my shift (we work together) tomorrow. Other roommate did all the talking for me on the phone because talking hurt so much. One call I had to give verbal permission for them to talk to her, only said 2 or 3 words then spent the next 2 1/2 hours bawling because of how bad it hurt. I've got a high pain tolerance, and it takes a lot for me to cry. So, for this to have me bawling means I am in a LOT of pain :(
Tooth pain is the worst. Seriously some of the worst pain I've ever had was a tooth that needed a root canal. I lived on 5 advil every 5 hours. It was the only thing that dulled the pain. When they were able to fit me in to get a root canal, I cried tears of joy. I do not wish that pain on anyone and i'm sorry you are going through this.

[Miyu]

So that eye that's been hurting for a few days? Woke up today to find it (the eyelid, not the eyeball) puffy, swollen and painful, and a little red. Took an allergy pill for the first time in Poseidon-knows-how-long, because after a quick search of the intarwebs, it doesn't look like an infection or injury (plus I have that cold sore, which indicates that my immune system took a hit). If it looks any worse than it does now, I'll go to the hospital - I like my eyes! They're my best feature!



I loathe FB, the only thing I really use it for is keeping in contact with friends/family/etc. Twitter/Tumblr is my current combo for both business and fun when it comes to social media. When I get a smartphone, I'll get on the Instagramz and anything else I'm behind the times on, LOL!

[PearlieMae]

When your immune system is down like that (I know just how you feel, btw), strangely enough, all I have to do is eat a grapefruit a day for a couple of days and I bounce right back. True!

[Miyu]

Hmm, we've been eating cuties (tiny oranges) and starfruits, but maybe I should start adding grapefruit to our list as well... :thinks:

[shimmygoddess]

a stye perhaps? My son gets them all the time. He had one last week, then got a cold, then another stye. LOL We always wet a washcloth, zap it in the microwave a couple seconds and put it on the sore eye for about 5 min. Reheat and repeat several times a day


So that eye that's been hurting for a few days? Woke up today to find it (the eyelid, not the eyeball) puffy, swollen and painful, and a little red. Took an allergy pill for the first time in Poseidon-knows-how-long, because after a quick search of the intarwebs, it doesn't look like an infection or injury (plus I have that cold sore, which indicates that my immune system took a hit). If it looks any worse than it does now, I'll go to the hospital - I like my eyes! They're my best feature!



I loathe FB, the only thing I really use it for is keeping in contact with friends/family/etc. Twitter/Tumblr is my current combo for both business and fun when it comes to social media. When I get a smartphone, I'll get on the Instagramz and anything else I'm behind the times on, LOL!

[Miyu]

After doing a quick google search, that looks like it could be the culprit! I've kind of been playing with fire by using makeup I shouldn't be (It's completely not-natural, and I'm sensitive to all sorts of silly chemicals - plus, it's old makeup, but it's all I have, and I have to wear makeup for my work). I don't use the microwave, so I'll go heat up some water now and see if that helps at all! Thanks for the info!

[deepblue]

The last time I had a sty, I took a goldenseal teabag to it, steeped but not dripping, warm but not hot, and used it as a compress over my eye. It was gone the next day. I hope you get that thing gone, I hate stys!

And yes, old makeup is a petri dish. Natural or not.

[Miyu]

Heck, natural makeup is even more of a petri dish! Every time I apply makeup, I have to weigh the pros and cons of each kind... do I want something I know I'm not allergic to, but requires more careful prep so as to keep it sanitary; or do I want something (more) hygienic and quick, but that I'm probably allergic to? :eye twitch: It's just so frustrating because makeup - even the cheap stuff - is so expensive when you're broke!

I've got a few pages of instructions saved for making "kajal/kohl" (eyeliner) out of burnt almonds or their soot... I may have to try that if I can't pick up some eyeliner and mascara in the next couple of days!

[shimmygoddess]

yes, teabags are good too...good luck. Hope you feel better.

[Morticia Mermaid]

Miyu- if you want when I get my new batch of makeup stuff I'll get a spare bottle of sterilizer for you. It will help keep bacteria out of the makeup and off your brushes. And I know it sucks, but try to wash your brushes every time you apply makeup. You'd be surprised by how much icky stuff gets on them when we apply makeup, even after washing our faces.

And update time- Called into work last night, and I'm glad I did. I never would have made it through my full shift. My roommate was more than happy to cover my shift (we work together), it got her out of 3 hours of her other job that she hates.

Just crashed for a few hours. Finally picked up my Rx this morning. Forced some food in me so I could take the painkillers they gave me after I took the antibiotics. Ice packs weren't really helping much, so for S&G's I decided to try a heating pad. Woke up with far more mobility in my jaw than using the ice packs. My cheek is far less swollen, and the main swollen spot isn't as stiff/hard as it was (felt like I had half a golf ball in my cheek by my jaw.

Also picked up some antiseptic/antibacterial mouth wash that I started using after every time I eat. Seems to be working really well, and I haven't had to cut it with water like most mouth washes. It doesn't have the burning that most mouth washes I've tried do.

So, yay. Hopefully I'll be able to open my mouth wide enough for the dentist Thursday so they can do the x-rays without having to force my mouth open. And hopefully I'll be able to handle my shift Thursday. Hate missing work, but can't be helped :(

[Miyu]

Moriticia - yeppers, I ALWAYS clean my brushes inbetween uses, it's one of the reasons I don't usually wear makeup - I'm too lazy to want to wash my brush :p I'd like to get a spare set or two of basic brushes, just so I don't have to wash my one set every day, LOL! It would be totally awesome if I could try some of that sterilizer stuff, I do try really hard to keep my makeups clean... but 4-year-old eyeliner is probably not a great idea >.<

I'm glad the mouthwash seems to be helping you! I really hope you feel better soon :hug:I WANNA GO SWIMMING WITH YOU, WOMAN! LOL

[Morticia Mermaid]

Yeah. We'll see about getting you some new stuff :) I need to get some new stuff soon too, need to replace my own eyeliners and mascara.

Well figure something out! Haven't been able to go for a swim in forever >.<

[Anahita]

Heck, natural makeup is even more of a petri dish! Every time I apply makeup, I have to weigh the pros and cons of each kind... do I want something I know I'm not allergic to, but requires more careful prep so as to keep it sanitary; or do I want something (more) hygienic and quick, but that I'm probably allergic to? :eye twitch: It's just so frustrating because makeup - even the cheap stuff - is so expensive when you're broke!

I've got a few pages of instructions saved for making "kajal/kohl" (eyeliner) out of burnt almonds or their soot... I may have to try that if I can't pick up some eyeliner and mascara in the next couple of days!

Refrigerate your makeup when you make it out of natural stuff. It'll keep the bacteria from flourishing, and keep the ingredients from spoiling. All my kohl, white-water, rouge, perfumes, pomades and pornatums, etc., get refrigerated, because if not they will go rancid or grow god knows what. And make it in small batches, too. That way if it goes bad, you don't feel obliged to try and use it anyways.

[Raayvhen]

About spare makeup brushes, real techniques is an awesome brand and relatively cheap. Just saying.

Sent by Jellyfish

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Styes are the worst. I actually have a scar on my eyelid from a really bad one. I used to get them continuously. The tea bag as a compress really helps.

As for makeup, I really like the e.l.f brand. I use their mineral stuff because it's way less expensive than some of the other stuff I will be upgrading to eventually. Their brushes are pretty decent too, and at $1-$3 each, cheap enough to use for a while and then replace. Also, I wash my brushes all the time, and NEVER share makeup, especially eye makeup. For theater makeup, we'd rub a cotton swab with Listerine on it over the pots of greasepaint to clean them. Best to replace your stuff every few months, although I have some things I've kept longer because I keep it so clean.

[Miyu]

The only makeup I keep for very long is generally eye palettes - Morticia gave me a HUGE palette, with really nice colours and textures, and I know she kept it clean before I got it, so I intend to hang onto that for some time. That's a really neat trick about the theatre greasepaint! I don't ever share makeup, except in certain instances (such as Morticia's doing my makeup, she's a makeup artist, and I know how strict she is about keeping her things clean).

I'm pretty certain I know the culprits (eyeliner and mascara), and they're getting replaced ASAP. I did find a new brand of makeup that I adore, it's a natural brand, and they make things like lash tint - when I can afford it, I'll get those, but for now, I'm planning on sticking with E.L.F. because it just keeps getting recommended to me by everyone! I stuck those Real Techniques brushes in my wishlist ass well, they look really nice for the price!

[deepblue]

If I vent about my daughter's medical situation, it's just that. A vent. I'm not asking for advice. If her surgeon, a foremost expert in pediatric orthopedics at one of the top children's hospitals in the country (he teaches other surgeons in the field), approves of her diet, her schooling, and everything else, than that is all that matters to me. Her doctor in Portland when we lived there for two years, also a top in the field and the head of ortho at Shriner's hospital also approved, that is what matters. Being told 'don't forget to do this and that' or, especially, someone indicating they think she isn't getting proper nutrition, is EXTREMELY frustrating and makes me livid. When I'm venting, I'm really just saying, "I'm really quite tired." My daughter is the single most important thing in my life. The way I feed her and school her is a reflection of that. I do what I know is best for her and if anyone thinks what I am doing is not, then they don't know me at all.

Also, it makes me want to say, "I WILL CUT YOU." And I'm not even a violent person. But oh. Oh the STFU.

[Mermaid Lilium]

So this is part rant, part emotional sentimentality so you're forewarned :P

Still trying to force myself to finish up the divorce paperwork and seriously regretting not getting a solicitor in to do it all for me *sigh*

I've also started an xmas temp job at the body shop, mostly weekend work and feck-all hours but better than nothing, will at least help cover my costs from merfest a little.

so bearing that in mind, saturday morning saw doug (my ex-husband) finally move out into his own place. Yeahhh he's been in our house until then. As you can imagine it was a fairly emotional thing and I spent the morning before work after he'd gone, bursting into tears on and off. But pulled myself together and got through my shift at work. Then as I was waiting for my tram home I turned on my phone and picked up a missed call from Doug. So I called him back to find out what was up, especially as things had gotten fairly amicable between us in the end. And because I worried about his mental stability with moving out etc... so to cut a long story short the phonecall was him telling me that he thinks his best friend Rachel likes him and he's going to see where it goes. Rachel being the friend I spent the last two years being paranoid about because I worried stuff was going on with her or at least that they liked each other. Apparently it's a 'recent' thing in the last fortnight, and that 'nothing has happened' uhuh.... about 4 months ago I predicted that when the divorce was coming through that Rachel would for some reason break up with her long-term boyfriend Pete (who doug had gotten to be close friends with) and would suddenly turn her attentions on doug. aaaand that's exactly what's happened. I'm 90% sure she had some hand in ending our marriage. She saw what she wanted and she got it. And I now loathe her with an intensity which is very hard to bring out in me. I'm usually too forgiving, too trusting, non-violent and I hate confrontation (phobia of it infact). Even just thinking about her brings out a very dark part of my brain lets put it that way. I just really hope I never see her. I really don't want to. And I know her and her twin sister (who doug was also close friends with) as I used to work with them both for a year.

I've replied to doug's fb msgs he'd sent me before he called me, and told him how angry I am, that i'd be more than happy for him to find someone else but just not Rachel or her sister. Told him to warn her not to contact me and told him that I do think stuff probably happened between them. And that basically he's either oblivious or the asshole of the century. And that either way I now hate Rachel with a passion.

I know that our relationship is over and that this shouldn't all matter to me anymore but it hurts SO FUCKING MUCH. And the idea that he was betraying me AGAIN all that time? It's like I've had my heart broken all over again.. I mean he chose to tell me when I would be coming home and in a public space. I barely got home and locked the front door before I broke down into tears and had a panic attack.

I've tried to block it out and move on the last couple of days despite feeling ill with a sore throat/cold thing but a bit yesterday and especially today... I think it's made my depression flare up again :'( Like I'm breaking apart. I just got out the shower a bit ago and spent most of the time when I was in the shower crying and battling thoughts about harming myself or taking my own life. :''(

And here comes the sentimental part... The thing that stopped me and gave me the will to keep fighting and keep going? Looking forward to NCMerfest and getting to meet so many of you wonderful people <3 No jokes. Once again this amazing community and my dreams attached to it, have literally saved my life.

Feb 2013 when I last dicovered doug had been cheating on me (on my bday weekend) I had a mental breakdown. I'd discovered this community only weeks later and I immersed myself in the dream of it and you amazing people and it gave me purpose and kept me moving one foot infront of the other until I finally overcame my crippling social anxiety that the breakdown had triggered, and eventualy when I also won my battle with my depression. You guys have been there through all that, through the BS with mum's ex and then the whole BS from doug and the eventual breakdown of my marriage. You're my lifeline. And I can't even express or explain what you all mean to me and how much I love you all for your endless love and support <3

I know I'm probably going to struggle again for a little bit, but I know that I'll make it through with you guys there to help me xx

[Miyu]

Even though your relationship may be over, little things can still hurt... :hug: I'm sorry things happened like that, it's really shitty when it does. I'm glad at least that this community helped you get through such an emotionally draining time.

SUPER-SAD STORYTIME, don't read if you're easily emotionally traumatized (I'll keep it short)

My ex, whom I am still attempting to get divorced from, is now having a baby. To recap, since most people don't know this about me - I had a baby, fathered by this man, and because my body is not the perfect specimen of human physical form, I gave birth to this baby too early, and after almost a month in the hospital, the baby (Caleb) passed on to join his namesake in heaven. So yes, I am upset, and hurt, and jealous... even though I DON'T EVEN WANT A BABY, I am 100% done with baby-making and am biding my time until the doctors will let me schedule an appointment to carve out my baby-making parts. I really do not want to birth another baby AT ALL, never ever... But still I am upset about his having a baby. Emotions are crazy like that.

I'm just glad things are amicable between the two of us and, while we may not quite be friends, we're compassionate towards each other, and I think he knows it's a sensitive topic to me still.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Even though your relationship may be over, little things can still hurt... :hug: I'm sorry things happened like that, it's really shitty when it does. I'm glad at least that this community helped you get through such an emotionally draining time.

SUPER-SAD STORYTIME, don't read if you're easily emotionally traumatized (I'll keep it short)

My ex, whom I am still attempting to get divorced from, is now having a baby. To recap, since most people don't know this about me - I had a baby, fathered by this man, and because my body is not the perfect specimen of human physical form, I gave birth to this baby too early, and after almost a month in the hospital, the baby (Caleb) passed on to join his namesake in heaven. So yes, I am upset, and hurt, and jealous... even though I DON'T EVEN WANT A BABY, I am 100% done with baby-making and am biding my time until the doctors will let me schedule an appointment to carve out my baby-making parts. I really do not want to birth another baby AT ALL, never ever... But still I am upset about his having a baby. Emotions are crazy like that.

I'm just glad things are amicable between the two of us and, while we may not quite be friends, we're compassionate towards each other, and I think he knows it's a sensitive topic to me still.

*mer-hugs for both of us*

[Seatan]

I have been letting my students use my personal ipad and they looked up something dirty on it and MY internet usage was temporarily blocked. Aka it looks like I did the dirty search on the school system. Darn it!!!!

[-Annwyn-]

Well hopefully this will make you smile a little, Miyu and Lillium. I had broken up with my ex, oh, a good 10 years ago now. And what bothered me most was that before we had broken up, he told me that if I had told him right from the start that I didn't want to have sex with him, that he wouldn't have bothered to tell me he loved me (nice, huh?!)

So we broke up and a few years later he found another girl and got married. Lasted about 5 years before she recently left him.... saying that she preferred women! Imagine that!

I know that sounds snarky and bitchy, but given this guy being a total douchebag to me, I'm glad to know that he's been proven to be a lousy lover. It's been over 10 years, but my heart could finally heal. :)

[Meronica]

Annwyn -- I spit out my tea laughing at that! It seems the horniest guys tend to be the most selfish lovers!

Lilium-- I could see myself in your post. Cheating is up there with the worst things you can do to another human being. It just destroys the other person on so many emotional levels. I've been there more times than I'd like to admit, (I'm only 20, for crying out loud!), and totally get how you're feeling. Just remember that he lost someone who truly loved him, and you lost a lying douchebag who was only preventing you from meeting someone who will genuinely care for you. If that other chick wants to date him, let her go right ahead and cut ties with all of them. He'll most likely end up cheating on her as well.

Feel free to PM me if you ever feel alone with those dark thoughts. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to listen to you. :/

[deepblue]

Big hugs for both of you, Miyu and Lillium.

[Sherielle]

It may not be much, but it's stressing me out atm. I'm going to be the featured artist at the Texas Renaissance Festival. This is a huge deal to me. I will get to set up in an actual booth (not a tent) at the faire and sell my pendants. I'm in the program. I've been wire wrapping my fingers off trying to get stuff made.
I've been keeping an eye on the forecast for Saturday. First is was 60% chance of rain. Then 100% chance. Now they have added possible tornado activity.

[Mermaid Wesley]

You're going to do great


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Morticia Mermaid]

Part vent, part update- Went to the dentist this morning... Upper wisdom tooth had turned my lower cheek behind my last tooth into hamburger, which caused an infection. So what do they do? They pulled the tooth. For most people it wouldn't be so bad, but I am absolutely terrified of dental tools :/

Did the first shot ok, the cheek side one. Then they did the one in the roof of my mouth. We had to wait almost half an hour before they could pull it, during which they had me under surveillance because I was on the verge of a panic attack due to the second shot. But, tooth came out just fine, and now its just a waiting game for it to heal. Kinda funny actually, they said it would hurt more over the next 24 hours than it has over the last week, but I actually don't really feel any pain only a dull ache every now and then. Which I hope is ok and tat something isn't wrong O.o

So yeah, should be good to go for my next shift on Sunday (I hope)

[Mermaid Wesley]

Aw poor thing treat yourself to some pudding or something


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[Fun123joker]

i have a test in everyclass tomorrow. im using the promodoro technique to study. this is one of my 5 minuet break. uggggh

[Adalira]

About Morticia's headdress problem... I saw that particular headdress in person before it was shipped out. I also recognize quite a few of Morticia's trademarks and specific supplies in the video posted by the person claiming they made it themself - Morticia's work is awesome and she does a lot of little things to make her work have unique qualities, and I (thankfully) get to see enough of her awesome work to be able to identify it, even in a blurry video. I even have a headdress Morti gave me that has a lot of the same details, I can point out the exact same things on mine (I did stick my headdress onto a headband - because I got rid of all my hair - but I ALWAYS credit Morticia's work).

Adalira: Mold is seriously no laughing matter - thankfully my mertender is compassionate towards my many allergies and sensitivities, and he ALWAYS makes sure I stay away from anything that smells/looks like it has mold or mildew. Those spores can get in your brain, and that's pretty scary! Is is possible for you to get an inexpensive de-humidifier to keep around you, particularly while you sleep?
Another thing that can help the atmosphere around you is burning PURE beeswax candles (must be actual, pure beeswax, with a pure cotton wick). Beeswax candles help purify the air around you, and the cotton wicks don't have lead in them like regular candles do. I'm not sure what your local availability would be, but I know you can order them online from reputable herb stores (drop me a PM if you need some suppliers). I have a single beeswax candle (almost gone), and it's been a lifesaver for me - I live in a rainforest, and it's always wet, and my room is just an enclosed porch with some carpeting in it... so our windows are always damp, and a big section of the wall had to be replaced because of mold before I even moved in (which means there's a strong possibility there's still mold in the walls). Burning the beeswax candle always eases my breathing :) I also use things like tea tree oil (I use it in a lot of things, daily, it helps a lot) and make sure to eat kelp regularly so I can get rid of toxins better.
I use a ton of homemade remedies, because of my multiple sensitivities and conditions, so I have a lot of info if you're interested, just drop me a line, I could go on for days :p



So I guess I'm sick now, my eyes hurt and whenever I get sick, I get a cold sore in my nose... Gross, I know, but at least it's not on my lip anymore - my grandma gave it to me when I was little and now my immune system decided that I get it EVERY time I'm sick (not just once a year any more). Thankfully I managed to attack it with a SUPER-EFFECTIVE remedy as soon as I felt it come on (it's a mixture of pure, real vanilla extract; witch hazel; and tea tree oil), but now I need to wait at least another day or two before I can attempt to go take these photos that I desperately need to take for business/mermaid stuff...

Miyu, thank you so much for all your information! Please share more tips and tricks if you have them! It just so happens that i have an actual bee wax candle so that was an awesome tip! I will use it asap :-)
The past few days i have been walking around quite frustrated....i switched from the one nasal spray to the one from the doctor (which has a flowery smell that is pretty nice actually) but unfortunatly it is not working that great. Since i have been using it i barely slept at night because my nose gets stuffed again and i have trouble breathing.
Last night i stayed up until 4 am or so because i could feel my nose getting stuffed and i knew i was not going to be able to sleep. I ended up making a puzzle until i was exhausted and could fall asleep.
I am still low on energy as well which is very upsetting because i love to work hard and exercise and i have not exercised in a looooong time and i really miss it :-(
I bought a purifier which we have on everyday and also during the night. I don't think i can get a de-humidifier since my husband has a skin disease that gets worse when the air is dry so it would be bad for him. Unless i could be able to control how much the de-humidifier actually de-humidifies.
I have tea tree oil and i could use that in a oil burner, if you think that may help?
The frustrating thing is that since i am low on energy and can not function like i normally do i get frustrated and start eating more chocolate and other comfort foods which is not helping either in this case :-(
I also read somewhere that the mold can get into your body system and what you need to do is eat less bread, sugars, cheese, yeast products etc and more fruits and veggies.
Do you have any experience with that?
I am thinking of calling the doctor again soon if things do not get better soon and just telling them i WANT a anti biotic treatment or anything that may help cause i am so sick of this.
I think it is 6 weeks now that i have this. GRRRRRRR!!!!

[Adalira]

Part vent, part update- Went to the dentist this morning... Upper wisdom tooth had turned my lower cheek behind my last tooth into hamburger, which caused an infection. So what do they do? They pulled the tooth. For most people it wouldn't be so bad, but I am absolutely terrified of dental tools :/

Did the first shot ok, the cheek side one. Then they did the one in the roof of my mouth. We had to wait almost half an hour before they could pull it, during which they had me under surveillance because I was on the verge of a panic attack due to the second shot. But, tooth came out just fine, and now its just a waiting game for it to heal. Kinda funny actually, they said it would hurt more over the next 24 hours than it has over the last week, but I actually don't really feel any pain only a dull ache every now and then. Which I hope is ok and tat something isn't wrong O.o

So yeah, should be good to go for my next shift on Sunday (I hope)

So happy to hear you got the treatment! Hopefully you will recover well soon! Hugs coming your way!

[Adalira]

When your immune system is down like that (I know just how you feel, btw), strangely enough, all I have to do is eat a grapefruit a day for a couple of days and I bounce right back. True!

Damn....i need something to boost my immune system but i can not stand grape fruit.....
i love fruit....but grape fruit......Yikes!
Any other fruits that give a great boost?

[telzey.amberdon]

Have you tried local honey?

[Adalira]

Aurelia i can totally understand why you are stressing out.
I have been selling on fantasy fairs and other events myself and it was always nerve wrecking for me each time.
The preperations to get new items made, hoping to sell well, hoping to live up to expectations and then off course....the weather...hoping it will be dry and sunny.
To read that there may be tornado activity....yes....that would be adding on to the pressure and stress lol
Remember that all you can do is your best. Put your heart and soul into your work and hope for the best.
Even if the weather turns out to be bad and you can't go.... they will ask you for the next fair most likely and there will be other fairs and venues to go to.
There is not much you can do other than your best, everything else is out of your hands.
Please try not to worry about it too much or get upset if the worst case scenario actually does happen.
I know how it feels when it does not go as you had hoped, trust me, but there is always a next time.
Try to enjoy the preperations as much as possible and hope for good weather.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
Big hug coming your way :hug:

As for facebook....facebook sucks for businesses!
Since i started my page i have been getting barely any people to see my posts.
Everytime it says that about 20 people see my post and i have over 1500 likes.
It's ridiculous.
There is a big group of likes that i know personally and i know they all want to see my posts but now i need to pay for that?
Since when is facebook deciding who can and can not see my posts?
If someone has liked my page, doesn't that mean they would also like to get news and information?
So frustrating!

[Adalira]

What will local honey do and what exactly is local honey? Is it an organic honey?

[telzey.amberdon]

Local honey is an within fifty miles. It will boost your immune system and desensitise tor to local pollens. The sugar is also good for you. Organic depends on the farm you get it from.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Well hopefully this will make you smile a little, Miyu and Lillium. I had broken up with my ex, oh, a good 10 years ago now. And what bothered me most was that before we had broken up, he told me that if I had told him right from the start that I didn't want to have sex with him, that he wouldn't have bothered to tell me he loved me (nice, huh?!)

So we broke up and a few years later he found another girl and got married. Lasted about 5 years before she recently left him.... saying that she preferred women! Imagine that!

I know that sounds snarky and bitchy, but given this guy being a total douchebag to me, I'm glad to know that he's been proven to be a lousy lover. It's been over 10 years, but my heart could finally heal. :)

Karma in action is a beautiful thing :')
I said this to my friend the other day... it sounds horrible and something totally unlike me to say... but if they do date long-term... I hope he cheats on her almost every night. I would even still think it'd be karma if in his cheating he ended up giving her an STD. (again, I'm not normally that bitchy or vindictive... takes a lot to make me hate this much)

and thankyou to everyone for your kind words <3 Been keeping busy today so been a bit better, also not feeling as so yuck illness wise, mostly just an annoying cough now. Seeing my best friend tomorrow and going round the awesome xmas market in the city near me! Bratwurst, hot chocolate, indie shops, lots of xmas lights, and good sushi sound like the perfect thing right now =)

[Mermaid Freyja]

Big hugs from the South bay to everyone here! I'm sending you all positive vibes <3
This week has been a real 'winner' (was that too much sarcasm?).
Not only have I been dealing with Horrible allergies (I feel your pain, Adalira), I've been dealing with the logistics team of a very well known social media giant...that actually sucks at logistics.
Too often, my Assets team has to essentially do their job for them, yet we get paid a fraction of what they make.
I got snapped at today by one of them, over a mistake THEY had made, that I had no involvement in. They were trying to save face and cover their ass, but they were later reprimanded for it.
So, there was some satisfaction for me there, but in recent months crap like this is almost a daily occurrence.
I had arrived at work, on time, and usually I'm the only person there for at least 2 hours. This guy from the aforementioned company drops by with no warning, no email, no text/call, and no ticket open to approve the pick up of some data equipment. I make it clear that there is no way I can let him take anything without approval first. I know him and know he works for the company we assist, but rules are rules. He was practically yelling at me to let him take this stuff out of the warehouse. I stick to my guns and make him wait while I get approval...at 7:30 am...because that's a fabulous time to be dealing with a grown man throwing a temper tantrum...:mad:
Tomorrow we are actually having what we have started calling a 'come-to-Jesus' meeting over the subject. The head of logistics at this company heard all about her underlings behavior towards my team over the last few months, and what happened this morning. She is a really kind person and likely on our side, but it's no less stressful.
We manage their (insanely expensive) physical assets, and are basically there to make their job easier and more accountable. I just wish they'd let us do ours without harassment.
Grrrr.
xoxo

[Miyu]

Raw, local honey has all sorts of awesome immune-boosters built right in! It's generally less filtered than the kind that comes in a bear container (or whatever the cheap stuff come in). The bees create natural substances that help combat the local allergens - hence why local honey is best :) I adore raw local honey, it mine and my mertender's first solution to almost anything, LOL!

Some dehumidifiers will let you control the level of humidity!

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure about heating/warming tea tree oil, as I know a lot of essential oils lose their active chemicals when heated too much. That being said, I throw some tea tree oil in my homemade lotions and salves when they're still warm (not hot). I think it really depends on how hot the burner gets - some of them are meant to get hotter for harder wax candles. Other things I enjoy doing with tea tree oil are putting them in a spray (witch hazel and apple cider vinegar, + the oil - no water so it doesn't spoil as fast), and I use that as a facial/head spray (also helps my acne, and my dandruff), putting in a diffuser (kind of like reeds in a vase or something - does the same as the oil warmer), put it in my hair wash (helps get rid of stubborn allergens left in hair), put in foot soaks (with some epsom salt for magnesium - yes, you can absorb it through your skin!).

Yes, mold can get into your body and make you very sluggish and sick, I'm almost certain I've had this happen to me (I live in a high-mild area, it's EVERYWHERE). I do try to combat that by eating a lot of cleansing/detox foods - seaweed and turmeric every day, as well as teas and foods with high antioxidant levels, cinnamon, and detox tea (from a trusted brand, like Traditional Medicinals, not a "detox" tea that really just makes you poop a lot, those are dangerous and don't truly help you detox). Garlic is a powerful, natural antibiotic/antiviral/anit-lots-of-things... Seriously, eat raw garlic, this is what keeps me from needing to go to the hospital all the time like I used to. Raw honey is also antibiotic, etc. :)

[Adalira]

I make an anti inflammatory drink almost every day with turmeric in it. This is the recipe: lemon juice (half a lemon or a whole one), tabel spoon of honey, turmeric (i put a lot in it) 1 to 2 teaspoons of fresh grinded ginger (sometimes i put more in it). Then poor warm or hot water over it.
Stir each time before drinking it because the turmeric and ginger will sink to the bottom quite fast.
I washed the curtain in my work room yesterday since i saw there was mold on them too and have the purifier on almost all day throughout the house.
I will have to look into the local honey and see what i can find, thank you for the tips and advice, also on the tea tree oil. That was great! :hug:

[-Annwyn-]

Part vent, part update- Went to the dentist this morning... Upper wisdom tooth had turned my lower cheek behind my last tooth into hamburger, which caused an infection. So what do they do? They pulled the tooth. For most people it wouldn't be so bad, but I am absolutely terrified of dental tools :/

Did the first shot ok, the cheek side one. Then they did the one in the roof of my mouth. We had to wait almost half an hour before they could pull it, during which they had me under surveillance because I was on the verge of a panic attack due to the second shot. But, tooth came out just fine, and now its just a waiting game for it to heal. Kinda funny actually, they said it would hurt more over the next 24 hours than it has over the last week, but I actually don't really feel any pain only a dull ache every now and then. Which I hope is ok and tat something isn't wrong O.o

So yeah, should be good to go for my next shift on Sunday (I hope)

I had my two lower wizzies taken out at once. In the chair. Because I'm insane like that. Took nearly three hours to extract, and the dentist was justabout to give up for the day, but finally managed to get them out.

Of course, I lost the clots in both of them (ouch! Exposed nerves ) and ended up having to get a clove pack in each of them (that stuff is pure magic I swear). But they're out.

The part I hated most was a day or so later, having to brush my icky mouth for like the first time. :(

[Sherielle]

I had a panic attack in the dentist chair while they were pulling out an upper wisdom tooth. I could just imagine that the dentist was kneeling on my chest with the largest dental implement known to man destroying my upper jaw. It didn't help that I used to be a vet tech and I've seen how they pull teeth in animals. It all ended well and I felt foolish for freaking out.

[deepblue]

You're all making me glad my wisdom teeth removal was part of oral surgery- one tooth had impacted so badly it had worn a hole in my jaw, and was about to destroy the nerve that would have meant I lost all control of that side of my face. I ended up having to have glass to fill in the hole, which required my being under. Recovery was painful, but worth it. And now I can tell people I have a glass jaw, which is kind of funny to me.

[PearlieMae]

I did mine in twos, too...but I did right side, upper and lower, then left. They punctured my sinus and I could breathe through the tooth hole for a while!

HOORAY FOR PERCODAN! (Pre-percocet)

[deepblue]

I pulled a muscle this morning turning my daughter for cast maintenance, of all the silly ways. I've been lifting her, trasnferring from wheelchair to bed to couch etc., and I was fine, then I tilt her to check something, and TWANG goes a muscle. Now it's pulling my spine and I feel nauseated, whee!

Bah.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I had my two lower wizzies taken out at once. In the chair. Because I'm insane like that. Took nearly three hours to extract, and the dentist was justabout to give up for the day, but finally managed to get them out.

Of course, I lost the clots in both of them (ouch! Exposed nerves ) and ended up having to get a clove pack in each of them (that stuff is pure magic I swear). But they're out.

The part I hated most was a day or so later, having to brush my icky mouth for like the first time. :(

Yeah, I had all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth taken out at the same time, in the chair, just novacaine. They promised to have at least laughing gas for me, then surprised me when I got there that they "were out," so I'd be fully awake and aware of everything the whole time. After a panic attack, then calming down, then extra shots of novacaine because I was not getting numb, and about 4 hours, it was over. Honestly, the worst part was sitting there that long. I really did get numb, and didn't feel anything, and just kept singing songs in my mind to keep it occupied elsewhere. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I freaked out.

[deepblue]

Here's a general bitch-out: When people complain about being treated a certain way, such as being made fun of for wearing a tail or heck, anything! And then they turn around and make fun of others for any reason.

If being made fun of hurts you, then why the hell are you doing it to someone else? That really sucks and shows a pretty damn deep lack of self-awareness.

[Anahita]

OMG you all are making my wisdom teeth hurt as I read this! Eeeep! I didn't realize wisdom teeth did that!

[PearlieMae]

Imagine my panic when I was nearing my 36th birthday...my grandmother always said that getting your wisdom marked the halfway point of your life!

[Mermaid Kelda]

Halfway point? I know people who got their wisdom teeth out when they were 20!

[Anahita]

I grew my wisdom teeth in when I was 17.... Oh man, I better start enjoying life, I've only got a few more years left!

[Merman Dan]

I had all four wisdom teeth removed in one sitting. Nitrous, Novocain, and Demerol.., no worries. I was in no pain by that night and was eating regularly the next day but everyone reacts differently I suppose.

[Merman Jamie]

I had all my wisdom teeth removed in one sitting. I had one day that i had trouble eating but after that it was fine. thats my experience with that.

[deepblue]

My wisdom teeth grew in when I was in high school. So far, so good.

[Merman Dan]

(by his logic no one should ever buy a tail, or anything online for that matter)


...only to have him tell me how "it's not a real job" and how absolutely weird and stupid it is.

muggles....

[PearlieMae]

muggles....

:clap:

[Seatan]

That moment when the Starbucks barista turns to you right in front of your Deaf friend and says. "Oh thank god you know how to sign. I had no idea what she wanted a minute ago."

This always makes me want to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?"

Seriously, guys, it's called paper and pen. If you don't get it, use it.

[Seraphina Suds]

Wow, bad barista. D: That's just common sense that you would offer them an alternative way to order and also not be a dick about it.

[Seatan]

I understand that people don't always know how to deal with Deaf people, but circumstances like that put me in a really bad situation as it is not considered appropriate in the Deaf community for a hearie to "help" someone communicate unless they have specifically requested that you interpret. So I tend to be stuck in the middle with my friend next to me having no idea she is being talked about as if she is not there and a server/waiter/barista/whatever who has never met Deaf people before and therefore had no knowledge of their strong sense of self reliance and independence--aka, they don't know they have just made a huge Deaf faux pas and so you can't really get upset with them for their ignorance ofDeaf culture.

so what to do? I usually shrug and just say " only a little," even tho I am fully capable of interpreting a coffee order.

[Mermaid Aika]

muggles....

Yes!!!

[Rogue Siren]

I hate crazy customers..... Lady calls the front desk and gets transferred to me. I answer her question, which she apparently didn't like the answer to, so she hung up on me. Before I could even walk away from the phone, she calls back, this time to my phone, and asks where she can file a customer complaint. Smh.

[Mermaid Freyja]

I hate crazy customers..... Lady calls the front desk and gets transferred to me. I answer her question, which she apparently didn't like the answer to, so she hung up on me. Before I could even walk away from the phone, she calls back, this time to my phone, and asks where she can file a customer complaint. Smh.

WTF?! How on earth did she think hanging up on you would solve the problem? :confused:
I've had customers like that in the past, and even coworkers. It's like; "oh hey, my car is on fire. I'm going to get out, run around it a few times, then get back in it and hope it puts itself out...why is this not working?!"
:doh:

[Mermaid Momo]

That moment when the Starbucks barista turns to you right in front of your Deaf friend and says. "Oh thank god you know how to sign. I had no idea what she wanted a minute ago."

This always makes me want to say, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was that?"

Seriously, guys, it's called paper and pen. If you don't get it, use it.
I get it, it was sort of rude to say it that way, but you also have to realize that cashiers don't always have a pen and paper. When I worked at Mcdonalds, the only paper around was the receipts and there wasn't a pen anywhere to be seen most of the time. The barista was probably really really relived that someone who could help was there, because cashiers and baristas, have to work fast and the registers can see how long you're taking to take a transaction so she was probably worried that she may take a very long time which could get her/him penalized or even fired for being too slow.
When I worked at Mdconalds I encountered only one deaf person, we didn't have any pen or paper in sight and I panicked. What was going through my head was "oh my god, we have a full house, people are already getting antsy from being in line a while, and now I don't have any way to communicate with her, Can she red lips? how can I give her fast service but also not be rude and also not catch the attention of my manager for being slow?" Thankfully we have these placemats with nutritional info on it and I pulled that up and had her point to what she wanted and hold up fingers for the amounts, I still did get a stern talking to for taking too long with the order and holding up the line, even though she (the deaf woman) was happy with my service.
Yeah, I get it's rude to talk about a person as if they aren't there (I tried to avoid doing that, If I absolutely had to talk to someone else, I'd look at whoever was assisting then back to the original customer for a nod or something to say go ahead), but if there is no other way for the barista to communicate with your friend, they have to make do with hoping that someone accompanying them can help.

[Mermaid Momo]

I understand that people don't always know how to deal with Deaf people, but circumstances like that put me in a really bad situation as it is not considered appropriate in the Deaf community for a hearie to "help" someone communicate unless they have specifically requested that you interpret. So I tend to be stuck in the middle with my friend next to me having no idea she is being talked about as if she is not there and a server/waiter/barista/whatever who has never met Deaf people before and therefore had no knowledge of their strong sense of self reliance and independence--aka, they don't know they have just made a huge Deaf faux pas and so you can't really get upset with them for their ignorance ofDeaf culture.

so what to do? I usually shrug and just say " only a little," even tho I am fully capable of interpreting a coffee order.
I get ya here, I have a blind friend who also has such a strong sense of self reliance (I'm only partly blind myself so I can't really relate to why she has it but I guess she gets tired of people babying her) But it's also considered rude to try and help her with something and she doesn't ask, though eventually she'll ask (after a very long while) vs. me asking almost immediately if I realize that it's related to not being able to see as well as other people can. I've tried opening her up to more help though (like getting help reading menus, finding the right doors, etc)

[Seraphina Suds]

I'm a supervisor at Starbucks. There are always pens or Sharpies available, we're supposed to keep them in our apron. And receipt paper is easy to print out at the register for writing on. Maybe the barista was new and panicky, but I'm sure there were other communication options for them. Even pointing at the menu and holding up cup sizes. We get a lot of tourists in my area and they often have trouble expressing what they want in English. Not quite the sane situation, but similar enough that I know the barista could have done more than it sounds like they did. We're also lucky enough to not be timed on the cafe registers (drive thru is a different monster). But the pressure from uppity spoiled customers who haven't had their morning addiction yet can make you want to rush. So I can easily see both sides of the argument here.

[Miyu]

Starbucks employees ALWAYS have pens/Sharpies - they write people's names on every cup! Receipt paper is totally acceptable as a type of paper, especially in an "emergency".

I worked at a Seattle's Best Coffee cafe as my first job, and I've had to serve deaf customers. I never had to get help from someone who signs to be able to take a deaf customer's order.


But who knows, she may have been super-new or something. I sure hope so, because communicating with deaf people in face-to-face business is a very common thing, and she needs to learn how to properly communicate if she's going to stay in barista/retail business!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I'm a supervisor at Starbucks. There are always pens or Sharpies available, we're supposed to keep them in our apron. And receipt paper is easy to print out at the register for writing on. Maybe the barista was new and panicky, but I'm sure there were other communication options for them. Even pointing at the menu and holding up cup sizes. We get a lot of tourists in my area and they often have trouble expressing what they want in English. Not quite the sane situation, but similar enough that I know the barista could have done more than it sounds like they did. We're also lucky enough to not be timed on the cafe registers (drive thru is a different monster). But the pressure from uppity spoiled customers who haven't had their morning addiction yet can make you want to rush. So I can easily see both sides of the argument here.

Definitely. I've been a barista at a S-Bux and people can get NASTY to you. You have a Sharpie glued to your hand the whole day, but after a shift of rudeness, you kind of lose your sense of decency as well a little. Even worse, you get a cool customer who isn't a dick, and you're so happy to help them out, and there's some reason you can't do it, and everything falls apart. In a job like that, a lot of the action is kind of robotic. You have to get in a "zone" to get through it. When something throws that off and you have to break out of your carefully orchestrated routine, it's like you're suddenly roller skating on ice. That person was most likely not trying to be rude at all, and might have face palmed later when they thought back, and in any other situation would have reacted much better. I don't know if that's the case for that particular person, but your friend might get that a lot in those situations, and a large percentage of the time, that could be why.

[Raayvhen]

This lady got pissed at me yesterday for my manager telling me too give store credit instead of cash for an empty moisturizer without a receipt. At least that's the only bad experience I've had at Sephora. Granted it was day two.

[Seatan]

I get ya here, I have a blind friend who also has such a strong sense of self reliance (I'm only partly blind myself so I can't really relate to why she has it but I guess she gets tired of people babying her) But it's also considered rude to try and help her with something and she doesn't ask, though eventually she'll ask (after a very long while) vs. me asking almost immediately if I realize that it's related to not being able to see as well as other people can. I've tried opening her up to more help though (like getting help reading menus, finding the right doors, etc)

It's a major thing in the Deaf culture. You do NOT play interpreter for capital D Deaf people without their permission--you would lose all the respect you have from them.

I'm not hating ON the barista, just the fact that people's ignorance about Deaf people puts me in very uncomfortable postions quite often. And no, speechreading is not an option for most Deaf people as it is very difficult to read words on people's lips--but why would you need to speechread at a McDonald's? You both know what they are there for, and if your boss has a problem with taking an extra moment to allow a Deaf person to write something down then I suggest that she take a good, hard look at the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Deaf people are very capable of getting around in life--the problem is mostly hearing people freaking out when they realize that they are dealing with someone Deaf. Why do Hearing people freak? Because they are under the false impression that being Deaf means that you need to somehow treat that person differently and they do not know what they are supposed to do. The answer? Relax and let the Deaf person tell you what you are supposed to do--they have spent their whole lives expressing to Hearing people what they do or do not want. Trust me, I could write a post the size of Moby Dick on the Hearing world's perception of Deaf people in this section, because it drives me nuts. My friend went to vote at the midterms and they wouldn't let him vote on the computer because they thought he was intellectually disabled and needed someone to help him fill out a paper ballot, even after he told them he was just Deaf. He is an IT person. But yeah... Too long of a rant for this post, LOL. But like I said, not really hating on the barista--just the fact that I so often get stuck in the difficult position of Hearing people expecting me to interpret as the "easy way" of communicating with Deaf people instead of interacting with the Deaf people themselves.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Well said Seavanna.

[PhaylennMurúch]

If the barista was new, or has never served a deaf customer, they very well might have been in full on panic mode. The training modules talk about extra service at the hand-off plane but not so much how to handle a deaf customer. Especially now with training being cut so far down. When I went through training it took over a month and included freaking seminars at our city HQ. Now training is like a week and a half, tops. DH is a shift supervisor and his crew is pretty much all new hires, there is SO much that gets dropped on them that they didn't train for. The last store meeting the manager had him do a quick lesson in how to read ASL and how to sign responses pertaining to coffee.
Heck, I worked at Sbux for years and never once had a deaf customer, plenty of tourists and transplants with heavy accents, but not a single deaf person

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Yeah, most people never get the opportunity to interact with deaf or blind people ever in their daily lives. So, they really, literally have no idea how to react, and have never been in a situation where they could learn. Common sense says to let the deaf person lead and show you what they need, but common sense only comes into play when a situation is common. People aren't trying to be jerks, and I know it's annoying— they're just plain ignorant. At least ignorance can be fixed. Being a jerk is harder to reverse. But still, when your daily existence consists of dealing with ignorant people, that's the worst.

[deepblue]

Gah that has got to be so frustrating for a deaf person. They must run into the 'never dealt with anyone deaf' servers, clerks, etc., all the time. I was in retail for 16 years, and never had one deaf customer. Same with being in the corporate world, never had even one interaction with someone who was deaf.

Oh eta- not entirely so, recalling when I worked for Nordstrom mail order and I was the one who was trained to use the machine TTY, and even with that, I only recall having had one call from a customer on it. Just one, that's it. And that's not in person, and on a device intended for deaf people to contact you on, so there were no expectations of speech.

I already told my daughter I want her to take ASL one day so she can talk with more people. But it's probably on my mind because I know a man who has a genetic deafness, he only recently had cochlear implants which worked for him. But his son has a 50/50 chance of losing his hearing by the time he's in his 20s, too.

[PearlieMae]

I have made so many faux pas' in this arena...I asked a deaf man if anyone called while we were out (my boyfriend's dad), I even signed my question and didn't realize my mistake until he shrugged and laughed. I insisted on turning on lights for a blind piano tuner (long story...he had to tell me it was ok, he was blind). And once, I asked a one-armed man if I could lend a hand. :doh:

'Lefty' and I did have a good laugh about it.

I do think everyone needs to lighten up.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

My sister and I were in a "mall" together. It was the tiniest mall ever, and I was joking and told her to hold my hand so she wouldn't get lost. She said, "Please, a one-legged man couldn't work up a sweat getting around here." I just looked at her, and pointed over her shoulder, where a one-legged man was glaring at her. She had no idea he was there. The mall was empty otherwise. She was so horrified, she just took off and I've never seen anybody run that fast.

[Mermaid Lilium]

My sister and I were in a "mall" together. It was the tiniest mall ever, and I was joking and told her to hold my hand so she wouldn't get lost. She said, "Please, a one-legged man couldn't work up a sweat getting around here." I just looked at her, and pointed over her shoulder, where a one-legged man was glaring at her. She had no idea he was there. The mall was empty otherwise. She was so horrified, she just took off and I've never seen anybody run that fast.

*crying with politically incorrect laughter* oh my gosh I feel so bad but that's bloody hilarious xD I'm laid in bed sick at the moment nearly loosing my voice at times so it was funny-sounding laughter too :P

[PearlieMae]

Hahahahahaa!

I did the same thing driving around a group of people trying to get a huge snapping turtle out of the road. I was driving a convertible and said "Look out, it'll take your arm off!' And the man with the pool skimmer stood up to reveal his articulated hook!

When I got to my friend's house (which was nearby), she said "That's probably Steve. He lives across the street." I hid all afternoon.

[MermaidCelesteFL]

So, my live-in boyfriend (and only mertender) broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle my mood swings (I'm bipolar, and do take a TON of medications to balance my moods), and all I do is drag him down whenever I have a major meltdown. His family urged for him to break up with me, so he did.

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Never mind the fact that I came home from a 13 hr shift and find half of his stuff unexpectedly packed up in his car before he explained anything.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Don't let him come back. If he can't accept you for who you are, he's not worth the energy.

[Meronica]

Screw him. Really. Cut all contact and move on.

You're probably super bummed out right now but it sounds to me like you dodged a bullet here. He sounds like an egocentric imbecile and your life is too precious to waste on someone that can't look beyond themselves.

[Starfrit]

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Pardon my language, but: Fuck him with the wide end of a spiny conch! He MAY consider it?? As if he'd be doing YOU some sort of favor? And WOW at him expecting you to lose weight for him!

He seems shallow. Like, step-in-a-puddle-of-him-and-not-get-your-feet-wet kind of shallow. If that's the way he's going to treat you, on top of not even trying to discuss it with you? You're way better off, to be honest.

I agree with Jaffa and Meronica; even if six months down the road he decides you've "improved" enough for his shallow, selfish standards— Tell him to take a nice long walk off a short pier. You don't need a gross flake like that in your life and you can find someone else who will accept you for who you are!

Lots of long-distance hugs in the meantime, if you want them. <3 Breakups are super rough, but I'm sure you'll bounce back with a vengeance! If you ever need someone to talk to or vent at, you can drop me a line if it'll help!

[Mermaid Aika]

I'm so sorry this happened, Celeste! Just don't let him get you down. If he doesn't except you the way you are, then he doesn't deserve you.

[Seatan]

It is almost impossible to find a high level riding instructor without owning a sport horse. I am going to have to pay fifty extra bucks to use a horse belonging to the one instructor I found willing to lend a mount, bringing the lesson price up to $150 USD per lesson. I understand that horses is a tough business but I wish there was some kind of middle ground between a mostly beginner barn where you compete at schooling shows that basically give ribbons to "the best of the worst" and A show barns that expect you to own a $20,000 horse, pay $1,200 a month for training and board, and spend at least $1,000 per show. I just feel so frustrated! I LOVE riding and I want to be a GOOD rider, but it is so expensive! I went to a schooling show yesterday just to watch and it HAMMERED into me, however, why I need a good barn. The riding was TERRIBLE. Not a single horse in the "hunter division" moved like a hunter and some were just flat out nags. There were riders who shouldn't have been allowed out if the roundpen riding the 2 foot division and no one even signed up for their "highest" division--3 foot. I do not want to be stuck at that level forever, but I can't afford a horse that costs as much as my car and can colic at any moment.

I am SO not the one to care about having money or designer brands or anything like that, but my love of horses is the one thing that makes me really wish I was a trust fund baby.

[Seatan]

So, my live-in boyfriend (and only mertender) broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle my mood swings (I'm bipolar, and do take a TON of medications to balance my moods), and all I do is drag him down whenever I have a major meltdown. His family urged for him to break up with me, so he did.

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Never mind the fact that I came home from a 13 hr shift and find half of his stuff unexpectedly packed up in his car before he explained anything.

I am also bipolar, do I understand that it can be tough on friends and family.... However, what he said was flat out wrong. He's a bastard, plain and simple. If he really loved you he would try and join up with you to help you and work things out, not throw you away and act like him being around is some big favor.

[Naufra]

So, my live-in boyfriend (and only mertender) broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle my mood swings (I'm bipolar, and do take a TON of medications to balance my moods), and all I do is drag him down whenever I have a major meltdown. His family urged for him to break up with me, so he did.

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Never mind the fact that I came home from a 13 hr shift and find half of his stuff unexpectedly packed up in his car before he explained anything.

Don't even consider taking that slimeball back! He's demanding that you suddenly not have a serious health problem, one that's lifelong in most patients, in six months time AND demanding that you not take the medicine you need to manage that condition? Seriously? Would he dump a diabetic for taking insulin, too? He wants you to lose weight, too! Brilliant idea, you'll only have to chop off a limb! You're a fit woman, you don't need to lose any weight. The man is sleaze! A man like that is very easy to replace, since they're a dime a dozen. Loving someone with mood swings may not be easy at times, but if he was half the man he seems to think he is, he would find it the most rewarding relationship he's ever been in. You can do so much better than him!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Celeste, what everyone else said about your ex is dead on. I know you're hurting, and knowing he's a jerk doesn't stop that, at least for a while. I'm sorry that happened to you. Just don't take his behavior or anything he said to you as a reflection of YOU. He just outed himself for being a creep, and he must secretly hate himself to treat someone else like that. You have people who really care about you, so remember that, and don't feel alone. And you don't owe him anything, not another word, or breath, or minute of your time. Just focus on yourself and healing your heart. :)

[MermaidCelesteFL]

Thank you guys for all of your kind words. I'm going to get used to the empty spot in my bed by buying an anime-boy (Haru from Free!) shaped body pillow. At least it won't steal the sheets.

[Naufra]

Thank you guys for all of your kind words. I'm going to get used to the empty spot in my bed by buying an anime-boy (Haru from Free!) shaped body pillow. At least it won't steal the sheets.

I've been meaning to get one of those, myself, but I'm having a hard time finding one of Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji. I've been told that sleeping in the middle of the bed can help one adapt to not having to share it anymore.

[PhaylennMurúch]

ok so not really bitching but frusterating. I was friended by a teen from Poland recently, we have more than 10 friends in common, all mers. The past two days she messages me with 'how are you?' to which I reply with 'fine, and you?' and 'good, busy getting ready for the 4 day weekend for the kids'. her responses? 'ok'. so I try to engage her in conversation
me: what are you up to?
her: ok
me: is it snowing yet, where you are? We never get snow here, I miss it
her: ok


I mean come on! the language barrier isn't that bad between us, hell I have amazing conversations with my friend (and one of my favorite actors/musicians) Max and he speaks primarily German. We use translators for certain things.

[Mermaid Freyja]

ok so not really bitching but frusterating. I was friended by a teen from Poland recently, we have more than 10 friends in common, all mers. The past two days she messages me with 'how are you?' to which I reply with 'fine, and you?' and 'good, busy getting ready for the 4 day weekend for the kids'. her responses? 'ok'. so I try to engage her in conversation
me: what are you up to?
her: ok
me: is it snowing yet, where you are? We never get snow here, I miss it
her: ok


I mean come on! the language barrier isn't that bad between us, hell I have amazing conversations with my friend (and one of my favorite actors/musicians) Max and he speaks primarily German. We use translators for certain things.

That almost sounds like a spam bot. There's been a lot of them popping up recently. I had a similar encounter via my mer facebook page. Very weird.

[Echidna]

What's a spam bot for?

And that explains some weird "conversations" I have had (or rather, not had) on FB.
Always starts with some random, who may or may not have friended me before, messaging me with "hey how are you", and reply with "ok" or "well" and nothing else if you say something back.

I asked someone who I didn't recognize, "I'm well, and do I know you?" and the reply was "well" and nothing else was forthcoming lol.

[PhaylennMurúch]

Spam bot would make sense, but this one plays games on FB too

[Mermaid Freyja]

Spam bot would make sense, but this one plays games on FB too

Or just an actual human who's a bit mental :crazy:

[Mermaid Melanie]

Does anyone know a girl called Ashlee Shepherd? She came onto my mermaid page and commented on a video of mine saying my tails were hideous and the ugliest things she has ever seen. - okay so in the video i have my blue tail home made and my green magic tail. I responded to the comment saying - sorry you don't like them Ashlee, good thing you don't have to wear them then. I also sent her a personal message to ask what her problem was and why she felt the need to publicly bash my work. I checked her page and we have no mutual friends, however she has liked a bunch of other mer pages - mostly mers with silicone tails. Her reply to me was just dismissive and rude so I gave as good as she was giving, she's so quick to judge even though she's not even a mermaid ? and now I'm getting bitchy but jeezzzz look in the mirror before you start judging others... her cosplay isn't anything to rave about ! has she been on anyone else's page spreading her nastiness ?

[PhaylennMurúch]

Does anyone know a girl called Ashlee Shepherd? She came onto my mermaid page and commented on a video of mine saying my tails were hideous and the ugliest things she has ever seen. - okay so in the video i have my blue tail home made and my green magic tail. I responded to the comment saying - sorry you don't like them Ashlee, good thing you don't have to wear them then. I also sent her a personal message to ask what her problem was and why she felt the need to publicly bash my work. I checked her page and we have no mutual friends, however she has liked a bunch of other mer pages - mostly mers with silicone tails. Her reply to me was just dismissive and rude so I gave as good as she was giving, she's so quick to judge even though she's not even a mermaid ? and now I'm getting bitchy but jeezzzz look in the mirror before you start judging others... her cosplay isn't anything to rave about ! has she been on anyone else's page spreading her nastiness ?


sounds like she is envious of you. She certainly has a lot of anger

[Mermaid Melanie]

Yeah I don't know its just so weird - it doesnt seem like she is in the mer community other than liking a few pages but oh well, I guess it might make her feel better about something

[Talia]

There are plenty of people (mainly I have seen YouTube users) who bash mermaids that don't use silicone tails. I guess that in their mind, if you don't have the most expensive and realistic tail there is, you are a "fail", "not real", "OMG fake" and so on.
I had a comment saying that I "defiantly (sic) needed a Mertailor tail". I read it as "You have potential but unless you get a realistic tail you are not worth it".

[AniaR]

Someone said I lied about who made my tail lol

[Echidna]

There are plenty of people (mainly I have seen YouTube users) who bash mermaids that don't use silicone tails. I guess that in their mind, if you don't have the most expensive and realistic tail there is, you are a "fail", "not real", "OMG fake" and so on.

this.
Thankfully, Nagas aren't as popular as mermaids, but even so I get some comments like "this fabric is slightly translucent when wet, that's a problem" on videos where I'm trying out if it's possible to swim in a long snake tail without monofin.

If there were tailmakers who made silicone snake tails, I'm sure I would get just as much crap as other mers :p

[Lucinda]

There are plenty of people (mainly I have seen YouTube users) who bash mermaids that don't use silicone tails. I guess that in their mind, if you don't have the most expensive and realistic tail there is, you are a "fail", "not real", "OMG fake" and so on...




This is one of the reasons why I have no immediate ambitions to become a professional mermaid. If I were to advertise myself as a mermaid, then everybody would expect me not only to have a tail but an expensive, "realistic" one at that. And that would mean having to invest a lot of money right from the start. I haven't even figured out whether or not I'd be comfortable with swimming with my legs together (comfortable in the sense that I'm not having panic attacks all the time wondering if I'm about to drown). Being a hobbyist has its advantages sometimes. I can take things at my own pace and do things my own way (such as go for scale-patterned leggings plus swim fins instead of a tail, at least to begin with). But yeah, it bothers me too that some people think silicone is the only option.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

When you're actually doing something that you love to do, professionally or not, it makes people mad. They get furious that you've ignored societies stigmas and bullshit and are doing something different and they are not doing it because they are afraid. So instead of seeing what you do as inspiration to be brave, they attack you. All of those negative comments and the "fake!" shouts say everything about the person saying them, nothing about you. That person is being fake about who they are and who they want to be, while you are being honest about what makes you happy. Don't let their insecurities get you down. You don't have time for that, you have mermaid shit to do. :)

[Mermaid Aika]

Someone said I lied about who made my tail lol

Wow... just.... wow... :lol:

[MermaidCelesteFL]

I just wanted to say, Thank you, Naufra! Your suggestion to sleep in the middle of the bed works wonderfully! I finally got a good night's sleep, and my cat can now sleep on either side of me! I'm starting to feel better as long as he cuts off contact to me. Next week, swim team exercises! And this time, I'm doing it for myself!

[SeaGlass Siren]

so my mother in law's father (my husbands grandpa) might be passing tonight. everyone of his children was called into the hospital and they are spending their final moments with him. it's stressing my mom in law out so much that she's not thinking properly. it got so bad that my father in law was actually yelling at her as soon as they both came home. i can't understand Cantonese but it was terrifying for me.
it's stressing my husband out a lot too.
quite frankly i kind of don't know how to act or behave. both of my grandfathers have passed back at home but i was never able to actually go see them due to flight cost + distance, and i never really got to spend as much time with them. and i never really received or gave much sympathy either because i have never seen or was put into a situation like this. ever. 3 of my friends have passed away in my lifetime and it was a traumatic thing for me personally because i spent most of my time in school, like i literally grew up with these people. my family on the other hand, well....
so when i heard about this, i... really have no idea how to react.
i talked to my mom about it and she said it's part of life, she'll get over the pain eventually. she's sad, so just provide comfort. but i can't really provide sympathy/empathy because i really don't know what it feels like to lose a member of your family. (i mean i had a pet hamster die, and she was like family but i am pretty sure it's not the same. i grieved over a year and i'm over it now..ish..)

guys.. i have no idea what to do :|..

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Just be there for your husband. Whether he shows he needs the comfort or not, be there for him. You don't have to talk to him about it if you don't want to or know how to, just show him that you're by his side no matter what.

[deepblue]

This is one of the reasons why I have no immediate ambitions to become a professional mermaid. If I were to advertise myself as a mermaid, then everybody would expect me not only to have a tail but an expensive, "realistic" one at that. And that would mean having to invest a lot of money right from the start.

Gotta tell you, though, many pro mers use tails that aren't silicone and they do great. MeduSirena (http://www.medusirena.com/)'s tails are fabric, and she does great. I hear about her all the time, see her gig vids show up here and there. People who demand a 'kind' of tail over a good performance are just wasting your time, and their protestations are pretty pointless. Ignoring them is anyone's best bet.

[Miyu]

MermaidCeleste: Wow, what a scumbag! You get that awesome anime body pillow and cuddles with your cat <3 I'm sorry that happened, that's just wrong. There's someone better and more understanding out there for you.

On the topic of fabric tails: If you haven't seen Stella the Siren's youtube videos yet, you should totally check them out! She makes the most beautiful, flowing, realistic fabric tails, and somehow she seems to have a really neat way of moving in them to seem like she's swimming side-to-side, like a fish! I would absolutely hire her as a pro mermaid. Just because tails are made of fabric doesn't mean you can't be a quality pro-mer!

[Adalira]

I just wanted to say, Thank you, Naufra! Your suggestion to sleep in the middle of the bed works wonderfully! I finally got a good night's sleep, and my cat can now sleep on either side of me! I'm starting to feel better as long as he cuts off contact to me. Next week, swim team exercises! And this time, I'm doing it for myself!

Celeste i am sorry that your ex treated you this way. You did not deserve that at all.
I will tell you a quote my brother has used for scumbags in my past:' Put a stamp on him" in other words: get rid of him asap.
That is the same advice i would give you. Do not take him back. He is the kind of guy that deserves a stamp on him, send him on his way ;)

[Adalira]

Even though we live in the Netherlands we celebrate Thanksgiving since my husband is from the US.
It is getting colder and colder here so i wanted to wear a nice warm sweater...went into the closet only to find all my warm sweaters (they are a bit in the back of the closet) to be completly smelling of mold! :anger explode:
So i packed everything in bags and my mom will wash it out this weekend (we do not have a washing machine)
Today i decided to go through the closet only to find 2 more sections to have clothing that smelled like mold GRRRR
Had to take those out....all the shoes in there were covered in mold as well.
So i had to clean it all up tonight. So sick of this damn mold everywhere!

[Merman Chatfish]

So, my live-in boyfriend (and only mertender) broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle my mood swings (I'm bipolar, and do take a TON of medications to balance my moods), and all I do is drag him down whenever I have a major meltdown. His family urged for him to break up with me, so he did.

He also told me that he MAY consider getting back together with me in about 6 months if I have lost weight, take fewer medications, and can function normally.

Never mind the fact that I came home from a 13 hr shift and find half of his stuff unexpectedly packed up in his car before he explained anything.


Its so sad how the public in general have a negative attitude towards people with mental illness. I also suffer from mental illness, anxiety and depression, and when I have a bad night it can be hard to find someone to talk to or support you. Some of my friends would go out of their way to avoid me if they knew I was down. I know I have freaked some out when I am laying on the ground under a playground curled into a ball crying. Most people expect that from a child, not a 20 year old 6'4" man.

[Naufra]

I just wanted to say, Thank you, Naufra! Your suggestion to sleep in the middle of the bed works wonderfully! I finally got a good night's sleep, and my cat can now sleep on either side of me! I'm starting to feel better as long as he cuts off contact to me. Next week, swim team exercises! And this time, I'm doing it for myself!
I'm glad that helped. ^_^

[SeaGlass Siren]

Well bit of an update not really a bitching..
he passed away yesterday morning (12 am ish). It was really sad during his final moments. It seemed like he had so much to say but couldn't say it because he was physically struggling. All he kept doing was move his mouth and cry.
Funeral is on Tuesday.

[PearlieMae]

I'm so sorry you are going through all this...my condolences to you and your family.

[Lucinda]

My condolences, SeaGlass Siren.

[Mermaid Galene]

I'm so sorry for your loss, SeaGlass.

[Lucinda]

Gotta tell you, though, many pro mers use tails that aren't silicone and they do great. MeduSirena (http://www.medusirena.com/)'s tails are fabric, and she does great. I hear about her all the time, see her gig vids show up here and there. People who demand a 'kind' of tail over a good performance are just wasting your time, and their protestations are pretty pointless. Ignoring them is anyone's best bet.


Actually, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to throw myself into something that I'm not ready for. It's not as such about tails and their materials, but about various issues. My swimming\diving skills are rusty after 14 years of only a few stray swims per year. My sewing skills are rubbish too. And I have social anxiety. So, the last thing I need at the moment is to be tackling trolls who complain about petty things like what kind of material a tail is made from.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Thankyou Lucinda, pearlie and Galene.

[Mermaid Aika]

I'm sorry for your loss, SeaGlass Siren.

[Merman Chatfish]

My dad moved my bike from the garage to one of our barns, the one that has a crazy number of pidgons. And he puts the bike right under where they roost. Now my bike is covered in shit and its an absolute mess. He is always complaining about not being considerate. Had he told me it needed moved I wouldn't have put it under the birds and I would have used the bike cover I bought this summer but didn't use because I thought it didn't need one in the garage. And I can't say anything about it because he will be pissed at me. He got angry at me the other night because I forgot I put my pop into the fridge and drank from my brother's can.

[Miyu]

...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).

I really don't know where to talk abut this, because it's not even technically a diagnosable disorder right now, and I'm not sure if it falls under the "vent about your health" thread or the "living with mental issues" thread, or here. So if I need to move my talk to another thread, just let me know. But I would like someone to talk to about this who doesn't just tell me about the starving kids in Africa who would be happy for the food that's in front of me - because all that makes me think is that someone should find me a way to send my breakfast to them and THEY can eat it and we'll all be happy. :doh:


On another note, I'm getting really sick of the housemates/my bf's family who just barged in here and are totally disrupting everyone's lives, and keeping me and my mertender from being able to do any crafts or take photoshoots, so we can't make money. Also, they like to just sit in their monster gaz-guzzler with poor emissions and just LET IT IDLE FOR AN HOUR while he smokes cigarettes... and of course the fumes all waft into MY room, because I live on a porch with a door that won't close.

[Mermaid Lilium]

so sorry for your loss SeaGlass *huge mer hugs*

[SeaGlass Siren]

Miyu that's horrible! If u want you can totally talk to me about it. I hate artificial shit in my food. Can't do it. Pm me and u can vent!!

Update on the funeral, my husbands mother feels a lot better now because she saw Santa at her local bank and he was trying to cheer her up. So she's definitely feeling better about the recent death.
Now we're jut kind of worried about the will. I know it wasn't split equally between siblings and I know there will be internal fighting going on and it's making me nervous :| I know I'm not in it it makes no sense for me to be in it lol so I'm not complaining. I'm just worried about my husbands family breaking apart because he was the only person that tied the family together.

[Merman Chatfish]

...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).

When I look up orthorexia its avoiding healthy food to the extreme. Seems healthy to me.

[Miyu]

No, it's trying to eat extremely healthy... to the point where it starts causing problems socially or whatever. I LIKE to eat super-healthy, I don't want to eat regularly... but now my mertender is starting to get very frustrated with me because I didn't want to eat the breakfast his cousin cooked because he cooked it on Teflon and things like that. This Thanksgiving I avoided anything that I saw being cooked in Teflon/microwaved, and even avoiding some things because I couldn't see how they were made. I drink organic coffee, use special sugar, buy fair-trade where I can... all on a super-tight budget, because unfortunately I have some sort of disorder that makes me obsess about things like this... But HOW can it be a bad thing if I'm concerned about the planet, the farmers, and my body??!? I don't do it to be "more virtuous" than other people or anything, I do it because if I don't, then I feel like I want to scream and cry and am a horrible person because we have to treat the Earth right and things like that.

It's starting to be a problem because I live in redneckville, and apparently it hurts people's feelings if I don't want to eat their food because of the way it's cooked. I only get frustrated that people expect me to eat like that when it's my dang body... If I want to obsess over the quality of food that's going into my body, I should be allowed to! I shouldn't be reprimanded for not wanting food just because it's hot food in styrofoam. It shouldn't be a big deal if I don't want to eat anything from a non-stick surface. I want to live long enough and make enough money so that I can be a cyborg or something someday (for serious). If I feel like I don't want to eat something so I don't put more carcinogens in my body, then it should be just fine.

So I guess my problem is in the people who tell me that I'm being too picky about things. Who cares if I want to bring my own food or coffee places? It's not fair that there's such a lack of real, whole foods out in general society (at least where I live now - in some cities it's super-easy to eat locally/organically/fair trade).

#firstworldproblems

Seaglass Siren:Thank you for the invitation, I'll keep that in mind :hug: I'm sorry you've gotta deal with that, deaths can cause so much drama sometimes, so I hope you don't have to put up with too much.

[Merman Chatfish]

treating the Earth right seems virtuous to me.

[Naufra]

...I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I probably have an eating disorder (orthorexia)... and unfortunately it's not one of the usual ones, so most therapists/doctors don't even know how to treat it... Not that I'd want to "recover", because then I would just be giving in and eating all these bad foods all the time, because I just know that if I'm suddenly not "OCD about food" anymore, then everyone's just going to go balls-to-the-wall giving me artificial colours and flavours and things cooked in Teflon (which is what started the confrontation this morning).

I really don't know where to talk abut this, because it's not even technically a diagnosable disorder right now, and I'm not sure if it falls under the "vent about your health" thread or the "living with mental issues" thread, or here. So if I need to move my talk to another thread, just let me know. But I would like someone to talk to about this who doesn't just tell me about the starving kids in Africa who would be happy for the food that's in front of me - because all that makes me think is that someone should find me a way to send my breakfast to them and THEY can eat it and we'll all be happy. :doh:


On another note, I'm getting really sick of the housemates/my bf's family who just barged in here and are totally disrupting everyone's lives, and keeping me and my mertender from being able to do any crafts or take photoshoots, so we can't make money. Also, they like to just sit in their monster gaz-guzzler with poor emissions and just LET IT IDLE FOR AN HOUR while he smokes cigarettes... and of course the fumes all waft into MY room, because I live on a porch with a door that won't close.

Wow, the housemates sound obnoxious. Orthorexia may not be officially on the books yet, but any eating disorder, even a recently discovered one, is a legitimate health issue and should be able to go in either of the threads you mentioned. I can understand wanting to eat healthy, but if it's interfering with your life then it's a real problem.

[Naufra]

My head is KILLING me and I know it's just the start. Tomorrow morning, I will get up with a brutal migraine and get on the city bus to school where, if past migraines are any indication, I will literally cry at least three times from the pain before my classes are over for the day. I should be staying home, in bed, sleeping it off, but I'm too damned proud to take a day off for this. I'm too damned proud for my own good. I'm already in tears from the pain, and this is nowhere near the worst of it. I'm considering taking the first absence I've taken all semester with only three school days left. I'd be a sucker to take it now, but I just don't know if I can do it. I'm already taking ibuprofen, but it just hurts so much! I don't know what to do.

[SeaMansa]

I just....dont get it >_< what does it mean when a girl tells you that you are.... "Too nice"??? Like, what? I just... I just can't even... Basically a converstion occurred between me and a group of female friends where the concept of dating came up and the response from a few of them about me went basically like this: "Yeah, you're a great guy and ur funny and cool and all that... You're just... Too nice... Like, you are just really GOOD. I couldn't deal with that, we would never work out. I need a "rude" guy"
Can someone please explain that to me because not only did a few of the other girls in the group agree, this isn't the first time I have heard that. I actually had a friend who dumped her boyfriend because he was "too nice and romantic" >_< I'm like.... So I should start being rude, calling you b*tches, slapping you on the ass, and just being an all around prick to get your attention now? I am not even interested in ANY of them but the simple fact that me being nice and good makes them not interested in me is just simply mind blowing. Like... I just can't even describe in words the confusion I am feeling.... Ugh. I dont know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Take it as a compliment, definitely. It's a sad state of affairs that some women accept rude behaviour from men, and even encourage it. As a society we need to establish that kindness, and just generally be a decent person in relationships should be the norm.

Here's an interesting article discussing the trend: http://www.theproblemismen.com/rants/badboys

[SeaGlass Siren]

They're stupid.

Who the fuck wants a horrible boyfriend who disrespects them??

[Mermaid Kelda]

It can often stem from low self esteem, but yeah, in many cases I have to suppose that they don't have all their cornflakes in one box.

[deepblue]

A lot of women are coming from psych 101- their dads are jerks, so they are attracted to men who are jerks. Also, a lot of women mistake rude men who are jerks for men with confidence, and there is a difference.

Don't waste your time with a girl who thinks you're too nice, she has all sorts of issues and you're dodging a bullet.

[Mermaid Lilium]

I am going to chip in my 5cents on the whole 'badboy' thing but a warning that this will be kinda NSFW so any minors, please cover your eyes with your fins and skip reading this, k? :P

I'm kinda a mix of preferences. Best way to put it.... I like a guy who treats me as an equal, who treats me well and cares deeply, and treats me like a princess. BUT I need a guy who can eh... also take control :P I could never date a guy who pandered to my every whim and was a pushover because I need someone strong enough not to move when I push, because I push to test. If that makes sense? lol I can BS and play up, and need someone to basically be like 'nope not happening sweetheart' because they care enough and know me enough to see through it. It makes me feel more secure and safe. So someone 'too nice' who would just let me walk all over them isn't going to work. I want to fee like I'm with someone strong who can protect me (even from myself). Not because i'm weak, I am strong. It's just who and what I need. But I would never put up with rudeness, abuse etc. There is a very big difference. And I think a lot of women forget that when they're looking for guys.

[PearlieMae]

I TOTALLY get where you are coming from, but it has been my experience that when a girl tells a guy that, she is putting him firmly into the 'friend zone'. Meaning, never in a million years, but you can do favors for me.

Ignore them.

Ms. Right will come along when you least expect her.

[Talia]

Once I read that one of the reasons women like "bad boys" is because in their heart, they (women) want to be "the one" that changes them (men) from "bad boy" into "perfect companion". In being with them, the guy will realize he is being a jerk and change for good, and it will all have happened because of their love - cue romantic music and Hollywood finale of them being happily ever after.

It sounded quite reasonable to me. Of course, perusing the article briefly, the self-steem issue sounded right too. The one I cannot bunderstand is the "sex" one. A guy that is a jerk is not going to be concerned how his partner is enjoying intimacy, and will look only after his own needs, masculine features or not. IMHO.

[Mermaid Clara]

So on Friday 11/28 I went to an interview for a new pizza place in the little shopping center in my neighborhood. They told me to bring a coppy of my id and social security card, and my food handlers license today. So I did and the lady then told me that I needed to bring a copy of a signed M2 paperwork, which my parents promptly said wasn't right and they were making a mistake and to bring them the M4 paperwork which they then told me they sent me an email which had the M2 paperwork or something. I never got an email even though they then made me double check the had the right email address which they did and then the guy told me that needed a I9 form and to call or text him if i had anymore trouble. So I went home and double checked my email and junk mail there was and still is nothing, I tried calling the guy and he didn't answer so I waited about 10 minuets and texted him asking to resend the email which he never replied to. the worst thing is that they told me that they needed all the paperwork by 5pm tonight... can i just say FML right now!! They are wasting my whole day on this crap and I have to still work on a project for college.

[deepblue]

I am going to chip in my 5cents on the whole 'badboy' thing but a warning that this will be kinda NSFW so any minors, please cover your eyes with your fins and skip reading this, k? :P

I'm kinda a mix of preferences. Best way to put it.... I like a guy who treats me as an equal, who treats me well and cares deeply, and treats me like a princess. BUT I need a guy who can eh... also take control :P I could never date a guy who pandered to my every whim and was a pushover because I need someone strong enough not to move when I push, because I push to test. If that makes sense?

It makes sense. I need a strong partner, because if a significant other doesn't have a spine, it drives me crazy. Someone turning into a stingless jellyfish when push comes to shove... a huge turn off.

[Fifi Tigg]

Ok totally off subject but I just want an opinion on this message I received on Mermaid Emily's facebook page.

Hello from Germany,
I am sorry to bother you and thank you of reading this. There is a saying in Germany: wer nicht fragt, bekommt keine Antwort . If you never ask, u won't get an answer. So I ask.
My name is Anne-Mareike and I am from Germany. I am writing on a card deck and little booklet about the light full messages about mermaids with my twin-sister Wibke. We wrote in the beginning of this year a small book about mermaids and explained in it about the myths and legends of mermaids, their spiritual side and showed ways to connect with the inner mermaid in us. We wanna rise awareness of the waterworld, their animals and wanna bring a good or better connection with the mermaids and the inner mermaid in ourselves ... and we hope that the spiritual side shows our readers that the underwater world is nothing scary and we can connect with the mermaid in us and mermaids around the world. The cards are used to draw a day/week card for guidance inspired by the mermaids or get in contact with the inner mermaid.
Well...sorry for writing so much.
Anyway we work with photos of mermaids and in our book we used pix of my sister, but we are now creating 44 cards, we thought it would be more fun, if we have some beautiful pix of other mermaids. There are already beautiful Mermaids, who are supporting us with pictures, but we wanna create 44 cards and on the search for picture, I came across your side.
I have already created a dolphin card deck and an ocean card deck and we got supported with pix from lovely photographers from Hawaii, California and Germany and they allowed us to use the pix for free & the photocredit will be published in the booklet. The pix will be used only for this product although it could be that the deck is going to be translated in different languages and published in different countries. In the photo credits it is always mention the homepage of the pic donator and I write a 2-6 sentence about the work of the person, if it is wished. We have been blessed and mermaids from USA, Germany, Belgium and Netherlands are already supporting us.


The Cards are going to be published in June/July 2015 in Germany and Austria and if you support us, we are more than happy to send you the finished product.
Well now my question: is there a possibility to get a pic of you as mermaid for this project? I thought I ask ... And I do not want to sound brash or pushy ... I just thought I ask. Thank you that you took the time to read this… I really do appreciate this. And thank you for your beautiful work. I really do hope to hear from you. Have a mermaid day and greets and hugs from Germany, Anne-Mareike


This how the cards are going to look like �� … the Mermaid on the pix is my Twin sister and a friend ��. All the extras like Dolphins or Stars in the cards I add with Photoshop �� ... you do not need to worry about that.

I just want to make sure these people are legit and if they don't checkout I will just ignore the message and block ;)
Thank you xx

[PearlieMae]

They are probably legit, in that they are self-publishing. If it gets picked up by a bigger publisher, it might get distribution. They want to use your photos for no recompense other than a vague mention.

I would say thanks, but no. Not when it's a minor-aged person...who knows where the photos might end up? There's plenty of creative commons shots and stock photos they can use.

That's just my first impression opinion.

[Meronica]

Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.

[Mermaid Lorelei]

I got that message about a month ago. I went ahead and ignored it, but mostly because I wasn't interested.