B!TC# IT OUT!

[Anahita]

Oh man, Phoenix, that sucks. :( I'm sorry you have to deal with that. It's hard enough when someone you care about so much passes; it's even harder when you have a family member like your uncle just being a prick just because.

[Ariadne]

That is just...yuck. Bless your heart and don't even give this person any more of your thought or time. ((hugs))

[Jadestone]

Phoenix I am SO sorry for your loss, and your situation *hugs*

It sounds like you really knew your Grandmother and what she wanted best, and that you made your choices based on this. You have nothing to feel bad about in regards to your actions/decisions. Your other family members really have no right to be ragging on you this way.

Again, *hugs* Stay strong buddy :( Hope the waters calm soon.

[Phoenix Mermaid]

Thank you all very much for you kind words

[Mermaid_Dominique]

Phoenix, I'm really sorry for your loss :(, Big hug! I wish you all the best. I do believe hard times make us stronger. Don't feel guilty about yourself, you deserve a really big hug and some rest!

[SeaGlass Siren]

oh my god phoenix.. that's horrible. seriously you should say it to his face and publicly in front of everyone (that's what i'd do anyway.. with no shame). :hugs:

[Amphitrite]

*sobs for no reason* :mad:


I went to meet up with some new 'friends' and they never even showed up. I was supposed to go to an important meeting with them. I don't even feel like bothering with what we were going to do in the first place any more.

[Azurin Luna]

That really sucks if they left you waiting like that for nothing :(
*mer huggles*

[mermaidwhisperer]

Oh my god you poor thing!

[mermaidwhisperer]

Lol

[New York Mermaid]

My estranged older sister gets $40,000 for a settlement which she currently has and she calls me to complain about my mom (who is 66yrs old and not working mind you. I give her money when I get money, even if its my last $20. She's my mom.) for $100 dollars to buy some groceries. Then my sister brags about spending $5,000 on her 2 daughters for school clothes and accessories (my Nieces). How is it My Sister is now asking me for money because "things are getting tight" and wants $50. a week from me. Just to make it clear I don't/haven't owed her any money at all.

It upsets me because, I have no food in my house right now- with the exception of one box of raspberry Jello. She knows in my case I'm only doing random work when I can (cause i quit my other job), my hubby is already paying our bills and she has $35 grand to use at her leisure. Meanwhile she already planning an extravagant trip to Disney world and to buy another Gucci bag (which cost oh somewhere in the $1,900-$2,000 range).

I'm Just:
14507

Sorry about that I'm just fuming right now :( Ive been sick all day, I could barely eat soup and I got to do something tomorrow,Im just (revert to photo above)

[Dacora]

~sigh~ Its ok. Its not like I need to see or anything....
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/09/12/ry6uquja.jpg

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk 2

[PearlieMae]

My estranged older sister gets $40,000 for a settlement which she currently has and she calls me to complain about my mom (who is 66yrs old and not working mind you. I give her money when I get money, even if its my last $20. She's my mom.) for $100 dollars to buy some groceries. Then my sister brags about spending $5,000 on her 2 daughters for school clothes and accessories (my Nieces). How is it My Sister is now asking me for money because "things are getting tight" and wants $50. a week from me. Just to make it clear I don't/haven't owed her any money at all.

It upsets me because, I have no food in my house right now- with the exception of one box of raspberry Jello. She knows in my case I'm only doing random work when I can (cause i quit my other job), my hubby is already paying our bills and she has $35 grand to use at her leisure. Meanwhile she already planning an extravagant trip to Disney world and to buy another Gucci bag (which cost oh somewhere in the $1,900-$2,000 range).

I'm Just:
14507

Sorry about that I'm just fuming right now :( Ive been sick all day, I could barely eat soup and I got to do something tomorrow,Im just (revert to photo above)


SHE wants $50 a week from you FOR WHAT?

Sorry, I know she's your sister, but as we say in Jersey, F*** dat HO! Tell her to jam her trip, her purse, and settlement straight up her a**. You want I should pay her a visit? I'm in the mood for a fight!

[PearlieMae]

~sigh~ Its ok. Its not like I need to see or anything....
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/09/12/ry6uquja.jpg

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk 2


Get your eye prescription from your eye doctor (they HAVE to give it to you), including your pupilar distance - I think that's the word for the distance between your pupils - and go here: http://www.zennioptical.com/

My favorite pair cost me under ten bucks (plus shipping)!

[Mermaid Octavia]

but as we say in Jersey, F*** dat HO!

THIS! PearlieMae, can you adopt me and be my sassy aunt from Jersey? Please?

/massive merhugs for NYM!

[PearlieMae]

Oh yeah! Funny thing is, I'm Hawaiian and grew up in Kentucky!

Jersey by osmosis. Call me Auntie Pearl!

[New York Mermaid]

Thanks Octavia,

@Pearliemae trust me she's a ... greedy person. Lol you're from jersey awesome!!

[PearlieMae]

Sometimes you have to distance yourself from toxic people, even if (and sometimes especially if) they are related to you!

[Mermaid Oshun]

Pearl I am too old to call you aunt so I will call you Sister Pearl

[PearlieMae]

Pearl I am too old to call you aunt so I will call you Sister Pearl

:D Makes me sound religious!

[Mermaid Octavia]

We are of the Sacred Cloister of Sister Pearl.

Doesn't that sound so... important?

@NYM - Pearl is right, distancing yourself from toxic people, even if they're related to you, can save you so much time and stress. I had to do this with my father, who values material goods way over the people in his family. He said a particular table was more important to him than me, to my face. A dining table. >_< Some people just never get it.

[Mermaid Oshun]

:lol:

[Anahita]

Since we're mermaids, can we be the Sacred Cloyster of Sister Pearl?

Or we can drop the "cl" all together and just be the Sacred Oyster of Sister Pearl.... :D

[Merman Dan]

~sigh~ Its ok. Its not like I need to see or anything....

Oculus Reparo!

[Merman Dan]

:D Makes me sound religious!


We'll have nun of that around here! ;)

[Merman Dan]

Or we can drop the "cl" all together and just be the Sacred Oyster of Sister Pearl.... :D

I cannot help but think of the Pearl of Lao Tzu (http://themarinebiologist.wordpress.com/tag/pearl-of-lao-tzu/)

http://www.jewelrybloguncovered.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/pearl-of-allah-lao-tzu-lao-tse.jpg

[New York Mermaid]

I do distance myself from my sister but I keep close to my nieces. I want to move away so bad but living here I'm close to all my family, literally 40 feet away.

[Anahita]

I cannot help but think of the Pearl of Lao Tzu (http://themarinebiologist.wordpress.com/tag/pearl-of-lao-tzu/)

http://www.jewelrybloguncovered.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/pearl-of-allah-lao-tzu-lao-tse.jpg

Lol, that is one ugly pearl... Give me the average sized, smooth, and shiny ones any day! It's a shame someone died for it.

[PearlieMae]

Since we're mermaids, can we be the Sacred Cloyster of Sister Pearl?

Or we can drop the "cl" all together and just be the Sacred Oyster of Sister Pearl.... :D

Hahaha! Yeah! And instead of genuflecting, we adopt Raina's water spit move!

MermanDan , you're punny!

[Elle]

So on Friday my parents front fence fell down onto the foot path! (rotten wood and windy days aren't a good combination)
So I had to help my mum move it off the foot path and back into our front yard. But she didn't want to squash her plant. So I got a hammer and cleared a hole (really easy as the whole thing is full of rot)
so I put the lengths from the fence down and proceeded to help my mum lift it so we could put it in the front yard. and I stood on a length...on the nailed end....where there was a nice rusty nail waiting for my foot.
it went straight through my havaianas (my thong now has a drainage hole through it) and into my foot :(
Through some random miracle I missed all the blood vessels as it didn't bleed. So called up the health line and they told me I should go to the dr, since it's been 10years since my last tetanus injection.
Went to the Drs, she cleaned my foot and gave me my tetanus. So now I'm hobbling around the house and I'm out of parracetamol.
At least it didn't cost me anything

[SeaGlass Siren]

Forum got hacked again!!!

[NerineArcticMermaid]

Iona is aware. These hackers have been reported to the FBI as well.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Oh I know but since it's the bitching thread I'm venting out my frustration lol.

already reported.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Oh look it's baaaack! Previous post does not apply anymore I is happy :3

[Merman Dan]

The other day, the local tattoo parlor had a Friday the 13th piercing special. My 15 year old talked her mother into taking her there to get her nose pierced. My wife wanted to do hers as well but then again so did I. She thought it would be stupid if I got one, so she finally said she would not get one, so long as I would not get one. The place was packed, so we went home.

The next day my wife took my daughter to another place. She called on the phone and said “So I can’t get one?”. I said “Whatever”, expecting my displeasure to be evident. As you might expect, my wife got he nose pierced. I did not speak to her the rest of the night.



The next day she continued to express her displeasure, saying that men with nose piercings were “gay”. I then proceeded to ask where she was keeping her lesbian girlfriend. That did not go over well.



I would have been fine not getting my nose pierced, if my wife had kept her side of the bargain. As it stands, I will be getting a nose ring tomorrow. I feel that I have to, now, just to put things right.

[Mermaid Lilium]

The other day, the local tattoo parlor had a Friday the 13th piercing special. My 15 year old talked her mother into taking her there to get her nose pierced. My wife wanted to do hers as well but then again so did I. She thought it would be stupid if I got one, so she finally said she would not get one, so long as I would not get one. The place was packed, so we went home.

The next day my wife took my daughter to another place. She called on the phone and said “So I can’t get one?”. I said “Whatever”, expecting my displeasure to be evident. As you might expect, my wife got he nose pierced. I did not speak to her the rest of the night.



The next day she continued to express her displeasure, saying that men with nose piercings were “gay”. I then proceeded to ask where she was keeping her lesbian girlfriend. That did not go over well.



I would have been fine not getting my nose pierced, if my wife had kept her side of the bargain. As it stands, I will be getting a nose ring tomorrow. I feel that I have to, now, just to put things right.

seems like she's more concerned about how you having a nose piercing reflects on HER rather than what would make you happy. Letting you get one is the easier and loving thing to do - I mean, a nose piercing can be taken out whereas a marriage takes a lot longer to heal than a tiny hole in a nose.

[Dacora]

So I made a deal with my mom. If I took the birds into my room we could put my 110 gallon fish tank in the living room as long as it looks good. So I started plans to plant it and make it look awesome. I ran the plan by her again and she said it was fine. So I told her I was going ahead and buying a light fixture to hang over the tank.

So I bought a $140 dollar light fixture. Made plans with my grandfather to build the rig to hang it on. Even started to clean out the space for the tank and she throws a fit saying she wants the space for her stuff. Now I have a 140 dollar light fixture in my bedroom floor. Just waiting to be stepped on and broken doing nothing. I think I might just move it when she is not there with my dad. She won't be able to do shit about it since the tank is heavy as fuck empty and she has no idea how to handle the equipment.

Ever since her and my dad decided to get a divorce and she hooked up with her sorry excuse for a bf she has been acting like a kid.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk 2

[deepblue]

Ugh, I'm so sorry Dacora- there's little worse than when the parents starts acting like the child.


seems like she's more concerned about how you having a nose piercing reflects on HER rather than what would make you happy. Letting you get one is the easier and loving thing to do - I mean, a nose piercing can be taken out whereas a marriage takes a lot longer to heal than a tiny hole in a nose.

These are wise words.

And incidentally, several of my male exes through the years have had their noses pierced, and it looked good on all of them. One got a funny comment by a Klingon when Star Trek Experience was still around... that was Chris, who had several piercings- nose, eyebrow, ears, tongue- and a Klingon walked up and said, "I see you have been in many battles. There is still schrapnel in your face." LOL But those piercings were hot. <3

[Merman Dan]

As it turns out, I looked through the Employee Handbook where I work and a draconian clause prohibits nose rings anyway. No worries, I'll just get another tattoo ;)

[Mermaid_Dominique]

Ugh I'm so nervous right now, my wisdom teeth are killing me and tomorrow two of them are going to be pulled. I never had any problems with my teeth hence my fear :/. I'm afraid it's going to hurt really bad and I wish it was over already. And the worst of all is that my boyfriends' grandfather died yesterday so I have to attend another funeral next week :(. We saw it coming and he was pretty old but darn, this week really s*cks!

[Mermaid Cecelia]

Tomorrow my dog has to get surgery because the vet thinks she has some sort of mammary gland cancer :( my other dog also has cancer and my rabbit has lung cancer and will probably die in a few weeks :( it's like I'm cursed or something!!!

[Dacora]

Not really a "bitch it out" post but just ranting maybe? I think rant is the right word. Not sure but I need to get it out of me and I figured here was the best place. Warning, its depressing.

Today a man from my mothers church was taking his 9 year old daughter to a school meet. Well it had been raining all day and the roads were wet. They collided head on with another vehicle. The daughter had to be airlifted to the hospital and saddly died on the way. The father, from what I understand did not suffer any fatal wounds and physically will be fine. I feel really bad for the family especially since they just had their fifth child and that baby will never know her sister. No parent should ever have to go through that and its not fair that the poor girl never got to start her life. I hate that it happened and I wish it never did.

Now here is where I start to sound like a heartless bitch. These parents don't know how to parent. They let their 3 year old walk around in the road and around the church pool unsupervised while they go off to talk to people. They don't make their kids sit down while they are driving. And the kids sit in the front seat of the car when the kids are not tall or old enough to do that yet. Now I'm not saying its the dads fault she died. And I am probably being way too harsh. And hindsight is 20/20. But I can't help but wonder if maybe she would have made it if they practiced proper saftey in the vehicle. Maybe if she was in the back seat she would have lived. Is that too fucked up for me to say? I feel like its common sense for everyone to know vehicle saftey, especially if you have kids.

I guess its easy for me or anyone to look at it and say that though. It was an accident after all. You just don't assume the worst like that. No one expects death, especially for a kid. It was a simple drive to a school meet, they drive that road every morning for school and drive it again every evening to go home. No one thought she wouldn't go home, why would they?

Anyway the school counselors from the high school, middle school and second elementary school in our town are going to her school to talk to her classmates and the rest of the students since none of them even know it happned.

I can't imagine how her family feels. Its such a terrible loss to lose a child. Or how her friends are going to take it. Their all so young, they shouldn't have to worry about death yet. How do you even tell a kid their friend is gone?

It just sucks.

Sorry if I just depressed anyone. But I just needed to get that out.


Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk 2

[Yulia]

I get exactly how you feel Dacora, it's not wrong or harsh of you to think like that, almost everyone does, especially when it comes to something as
serious as death. It's part of the mourning process.
As you said, no one lives their everyday life expecting the worst, if you do, you can't live.
The end of spring this year my boyfriend of two years sister died. She was supposed to turn 20 a month ago.
She had been feeling sick all day, but thought maybe it was just the flu or some kind of stomach-thing, since she had ulcerative colitis.
In the afternoon she used her last energy to call 911, and ambulance came. Her body started to give up in the ambulance, even before they had time to go to the hospital.
At the hospital they revived her 3-4 times, but she faded away.
She died from meningococcal sepsis
From one hour to another someone can forever disappear. It's not fair, but there's nothing we can do about it.
Yes, maybe there was a way to save the girl,
yes, maybe the dad could have prevented it in some way,
but she is already dead.
The dad will probably live his whole life in guilt, maybe he will never forget himself for surviving his daughter.

As you said it Dacora;
It just sucks.

[Mermaid Kalliope]

Dacora - You have a point, good parenting probably could have saved her, but then again, we may never truly know. :-(


Now..........

Just ugh! My roommate's dad. He is such an insensitive, selfish, uncompassionate asshole. For many, many reasons and in many, many cases.... I'm just so f*cking sick of it! I mean, seriously! If you knew half the sh*t he pulls.... I want to just punch him in the face and give him a piece of my mind, but NOOOOOOOOOO gods forbid I have an opinion on him. Gods forbid I could possibly have anything constructive to say about him. If I so much as get an "attitude" I can be kicked out with no where to live. I am constantly living under stress and the fear of being homeless. Also! It isn't even his house, it's his parents' house, who are still alive.

Now, he's all pissy and wants to bomb for fleas upstairs because all of the fleas must be coming from us. -.- We didn't really have a bad flea problem until he got his... girlfriend? A new dog. He keeps saying the fleas are falling down on him... uh, yeah, fleas can jump! Dur! Not everything bad in this house revolves around us!


AUUUUUGH! JUST SO ANGRY.

PS - I have been holding this anger and stress towards him for about... 2 years now?Yeah... sounds about right.

[TheSolitarySiren]

Summer of 2013 My mother received her backpay for her social security disability money. I was extremely happy for her. She received over 30k and constantly talked about giving us, her kids, some gifts exclaiming how much she appreciated us for tolerating 2 years of struggling and living paycheck to paycheck. --By the way, those paychecks? Were all mine.-- Now, at the time I didn't really expect anything because I could really care less. I was just happy that I could finally spend my own money on myself I mean, it was my first job after all. But a month in, my mom sat me down and surprised me with announcing that she would be buying my mermaid tail! I was extremely surprise and extremely happy. I never thought she was willing to give such a gift!

I told her how much the mermaid tail was, which--if you couldn't guess-- was a $3k Merbellas Mermaid tail. Granted, she was taken back by the price and I didn't blame her. But we spoke openly, I explained to her how it was a fair price. I told her what I planned to do with it, why I wanted it, and the wonderful amenities that came with the 3k tail. She seemed to agree that it was a fair price as well. She ended the conversation with, "I'll see what I can do." I took that as an 'okay' sign.

Weeks later, the subject came up again. She told to me that she wanted to pay off some bills and calculated that she could only pay for half of the tail. I was still excited and agreed with her. She would pay $1500 and I would pay $1500 + extra fins + shipping. The amount she was willing to pay was still wonderfully generous. At this point, I was taking extra shifts at work, lowering etsy prices for sales and my half for the tail was gradually approaching. With my excitement in tow in finally owning my dream tail, I would start counting down when I would possibly have the full amount, the count down period of the tail process, and the count down of when I would probably get it. I was ecstatic! I went through tail colour changes, fins, themes, accessories, ect!

As the month went by, I would casually bring up the mermaid subject again making sure she didn't forget her half of the bargain. One day, she exclaimed, "I want to pay 'these many bills'. Which means, I wont be able to pay half of your tail. How about I only pay $500 instead?"

My heart became heavy and I started to get concerned, but nonetheless, I was still excited. I had already saved up close to my half of $1500. All I needed was a little over $500 more for everything I ever wanted. Around this time, I practiced breath holding (officially 2 mins!), working out a lot with my monofin, looking at underwater timers, weights, cameras and I even planned to get suba lessons! I worked so hard at my job! I did my best! I even had customers recommend me to other customers! and then the greatest happened, I had finally raised $2400! Just a few under what I needed before I would ask my mother for the rest.

Then, it came time for us to move out of state. This move costed us a lot. Mainly, gas, food, some bills I had to finish up. My mom would even ask me to for certain things, which also took away from my savings. When we moved, I was coerced to pay partial rent and because my job transfer didn't go through, I was forced to dip into my savings once more . . . which completely wiped me out. All my mermaid tail savings, gone. I was so close to my dream, only to have the tide pull me away.

A week ago, my mother confessed to me that most of her money is gone now from bills she had to pay, the move, and rent. I don't blame her. Because deep down, I knew she was never really going to pay for my tail. The only reason why it upsets me, is because she brought my hopes up. I guess, it's also my fault because I brought my own hopes up too and raised $2400 for it, only to have it gone so suddenly. I'm so stupid. I hate myself.

I worked and worked and worked so hard, for something I wanted so badly. There are times when I think about what happened and how I swear I almost had my dream tail and I just cry. It feels like, I'm stuck in the desert desperate for water, but only being able to gulp down dry spit.

Recently, I got two jobs, but with me having to pay rent and bills now, the tide wont be pushing me any closer to my dream.

I worked so hard. So fucking hard.

[New York Mermaid]

I have an ulcer and my uncle is dying, he has dementia and stomach cancer their giving him max 2 months. This month just keeps getting better and better.

I am trying to look forward to tomorrow (shoot) and Thursday (9yr wedding anniversary) but have you ever felt as if all is piling up on you to break your spirit?? Cause I feel like that right now. Maybe I should drop everything and take that whale watch to clear my head

[SeaGlass Siren]

Everyone on here... Needs a shoulder to cry on and a big group hug...

Hugs from up north!

[Mermaid Momo]

Sorry for mistakes , on mobile
Okay so I went to my high school's anime club yesterday after avoiding it like the Black Plague (they want me to teach he japanese and I figured that I may as well get involved with others things) The club is getting ready for the homecoming carnival and are coming up with ideas for booths. At first they had good ideas: a cosplay photovoltaic, drawing caricutures (sp?), a pikachu grab , that game where you fill a jar with candy and people have to guess the anount, fishing for rubber sucks in a kiddie pool but they scrapped all those for....a stalker booth. They will be paid by carnival goers to stalk unknowing and unsuspecting people. When I pointed out how that is really inappropriate and possibly triggering to people and could get members hurt the teacher/ club sponsor for really defensive and goes on a rant yabbering about how she's sure that people won't confront them, that the point is for it to be creepy and awkward, that I was overreacting , and that she's sure that since the members will be in costumes that people would obviously get that it's the anime club doing its booth. And she didn't get what was wrong with the idea! Even when some of the club members started making rape jokes and jokes about following their "prey" into the barhroom, finding their numbers, and through the school day. Or even when boys started to ask if it was okay for them to touch people anywher they wanted to! (Particularly girls ) SHE SAW NOTHING WRONG. I decided to never go back to the club because I don't want to be involved in something that thinks that this is a big joke and triggering people is bit of fun for for a family carnival event for the WHOLE COMMUNITY. I've already seen some of the member who asked why I left the meeting early and I told them exactly why and exactly why what they're doing is disgusting .

[Anahita]

Holy shit.... That's effed up. Is there a higher authority, like a principal or counselor. you can report to about that? Because I mean, she's a teacher, she should know better and put her foot down instead of letting that go on. Kids are bad at judgement calls, but the teacher is supposed to CORRECT that bad judgement call instead of laughing it off and getting defensive that another student pointed out that it was wrong.

[AniaR]

you call the school board. Skip the principal. Calling the school board will get disciplinary action done.

[ShyMer]

Dude, that's way inappropriate, especially for a school function. I hope you can get authorities involved, because that's dangerous. I can't believe nobody else thought the stalker booth was a problem, especially after the rape jokes and such. Also whoever was joking about rape needs disciplinary action of some sort as well... stalking and rape are not funny.

[deepblue]

I agree... call anyone you have to. Keep going up the ladder until someone listens.

And people question that we live in a rape culture.

[Imogen Finnly]

Ugh I'm so nervous right now, my wisdom teeth are killing me and tomorrow two of them are going to be pulled. I never had any problems with my teeth hence my fear :/. I'm afraid it's going to hurt really bad and I wish it was over already. And the worst of all is that my boyfriends' grandfather died yesterday so I have to attend another funeral next week :(. We saw it coming and he was pretty old but darn, this week really s*cks!
I had the same problem with my two wisdom teeth. one was growing into my jaw bone instead of ..not haha and the other was so infected that my left side was swollen :/ I don't have the insurance and money to get it pulled and my dentist refused to take it out because it was so infected. So I am on meds... BUT I have also had a screw placed into my jaw (for an anchor) and that wasn't so bad either!:D you'll be fine!
I am also sorry for your loss but everything always gets better.

[Imogen Finnly]

So I have a bit of bitching to do myself.. its more like mild..heated complaining.
So I work about 40 hours a week as a groomer/bather. My boss has a system of 'first come first serve' where basically the first person gets the first dog to come in and then its the second, third, fourth and so on until the cycle starts back with the first person. I'm usually ALWAYS person number two or three to arrive to work while the others come two hours late without even being reprimanded. So it bugs me that when her daughter and daughter in law work there and its a slow day, they'll have 8 or nine dogs under their belt and I'm sitting on my ass NOT MAKING MONEY. Keep in mind this is ALL commission based. not hourly. even when her daughter isn't there her daughter in law has special requests and I get that but then when everyone else has 3 or four dogs I still have nothing and its already 12pm. I get upset and get ready to leave. then as I am about to leave she sticks me with the the most matted complex mess of a dog then says "they want a 2" (which is like barely getting anything off the top of like a well kept Pomeranian for ex.) Then my check ends up being like 150 for the week when it should be about 300. That is suppose to be the money for my car insurance, phone bill, basic stuff for the week and savings oh and money for an apartment. I totally pisses me off because I am the only one that is ALWAYS on time every day unless I am sick then I call) or in traffic (still call). I show up every day even when I am sick and I am so prompt that I should be getting what I deserve instead of how she feels that day. And her mood makes my wallet suffer.
Not to mention that when I come home from work, I've been pooped on, peed, on bit, head butted and clawed. So I am exhausted, and when I come home I want to shower number one and sleep. I feel like sometimes my family thinks that my job is so easy and that I am just exaggerating my tiredness. As if anyone could go through what I do and not loose their temper and not get upset and cry when you aren't doing your best on top of everything.

[emma11]

I rarely bitch about things but.... Yeah this needs to be said.

So my roommate is a nice person, she totally is. But she is a little flawed. Mostly just because she is NOT afraid to say that she's absolutely freaking gorgeous, which shes' average, and brags about how many guys like her.

Usually this wouldn't bother me at all. I could care less, and it's a good thing that she has such high confidence. Yay for you!

But I've been living with her for 5 weeks now, and I just met guy number 5 last night. We live off the beaten path and each guy is from a different town around here, and she is having sex with every guy, and rotating them around our apartment like she's a merry go round. And I for one, am getting sick of it.

A person like this can't go on and on about how gorgeous she is, when all I want to do is say "Honey there's a difference between gorgeous and easy." I like QUIET that's why I got the apartment for us in the first place, and it's only my name on the lease I'll have you know. And now it's like every time I come home I'm tripping over my words because I can't remember if this guy is Jason or Derek, and if I say something wrong they're going to get the "right" idea!

I need to just zip my lip and keep out of it, but omg girl. A new guy every week added into your fuck buddies is not okay. My own head is spinning, I can't imagine what her's is doing.

[Mermaid Kelda]

There's nothing wrong with casual sex in my books, but she's not the only tenant and if it's bothering you she needs to hear about it. There's nothing more awkward than frequent, loud sex in a share-house. -___-

[Aziara]

I've been really frustrated about something. Been doing some reading lately about fibromyalgia, which I think I may have. The symptoms read like a diary for me. I tell my mom about this and she goes, "Well, I guess that makes sense. I just always though you were being lazy as a teen when you said you were always tired" WHAT?! You didn't believe me when I said, "I'm so tired, I'm going back to bed after chores"? You must know, I have NEVER in my life faked an illness. I usually let little things fester because I didn't want to bother YOU with them, mom! That just pisses me off. Not to mention, we're not talking right now, because she asks me to do something for her, and I can never do anything to her 'perfect' specifications. I've had enough. Living 20 minutes away is not far enough away from this woman. I seriously want to move to another state, so she can't guilt me into favors that I can never do 'right'. However, she did say once that if I move more than an hour away, she'll move to where I am. I CAN'T WIN! If I say anything to her, she whines and plays the victim, as if I'm the bad one. Then my dad will talk to me later and beg me to make up with her because she makes his life hell when she's upset. Well I'm done. Enough of this crap. I have enough hell in my life without her shoveling more sh*t on top.

[Imogen Finnly]

So I am kinda upset... I usually keep my usb flash drive with me just for security purposes and I have been writing these stories that were almost basically done on there.. and I happen to leave my keys in a girlfriends glove box while we went shopping and her car was stolen. I know she is the victim and trust me she was upset (I probably would be pulling my hair out if I were her) but all my hard work is gone and I feel like I cannot get those stories back because the characters were so unique. I am too scared to try to write them again. I feel as if all my hard work was for nothing and I should give up writing.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Jayy, I know how you feel! A similar thing happened to me - a few years back I had to re-format my computer, and somehow I lost my file of stories/poems/ideas. Like, a 50 page document. I was heartbroken!
But the best stories, the stories that I loved, stayed with me; and I kept thinking about them, which led me to think of new and better ideas; so I re-wrote them, and I'm happier with them now than I was before, and glad I re-wrote them.
As for the ones that didn't stay with me, every once in a while something will happen, and I'll think "Oh! That reminds me of that story I had half written..." and not only does it bring back a bit of nostalgia for something I haven't thought about in a while, it also gives me some fresh ideas and inspiration.

So, it's not all bad! And you certainly shouldn't give up writing. Think of it as a "forced" purge of your not-so-good stuff - only the best ones will survive the re-write! ;)
That being said, it also taught me to keep at least one back-up of everything - I even print out hard copies of my favourite stuff :)

[ShyMer]

I teach a small, 8 week beginner's karate class with through the rec program. There's a pee wee group (5-7) and a junior group (8-14.) I've been teaching this class for a couple years now, and I feel pretty confidant in the program I run. I've gotten some generally good feedback from most classes I've taught, and have even had a few sign up for regular lessons at the school I belong to as a result. I got my first complaint today though, and I'm feeling pretty upset about it.
This mom has never given me any indication that she had a problem with the way things were going, of course.

She has a kid in the pee wee class and another in the junior class. She seemed to mostly be upset about this one time her kid got kicked in the face. Apparently I had told him he was okay, but he had footprint on his face that he needed an ice pack for...? It's weird, because I'm not even sure I remember this happening. I feel like he got kicked, started to fuss from the surprise at getting hit, and I told him he was okay and encouraged him to continue instead of falling apart. This happens all the time, especially when they're learning how to space themselves so they don't bump into anyone. They're usually perfectly fine after they jump back into whatever we were doing. The other thing I can imagine happening is that I tried to see what the problem was, but the kid was inconsolable and was sent to mom, but mom left the class early with her kid and I didn't see him afterward. I can't imagine I would have let a kid with a foot mark on his face leave with nothing more than "oh, you'll be okay."

So whenever this happened, it was weeks ago, and I can't remember it. She's fussing because I'd forgotten my tape for the second week in a row that I was planning on using as markers on the floor. The idea is that they're spaced far enough apart that they won't bump each other when working, assuming they remember to stay in their spot. They are actually pretty good at finding enough space on their own now without tools to help them, and nobody's been kicked for a couple weeks, but I guess now I'll be using the tape.

Also she said something about my uniform. I have a hole in one of the armpits just from the stress of the movement of the fabric. And because, you know, I train in it, so it's worn. Armpit holes are a problem for some people, I guess. Also she said something about me coming in with sweatpants and a tshirt the first day... it was the summer uniform, and definitely not sweatpants. Besides, she has no idea what's normal for uniforms, so I'm not sure why she thinks she has any reason to complain. I guess I'll be wearing the newer, poorly fitting jacket top I have instead so I don't offend any more parents who don't like armpits.

I think she also said something about me being 16 or so. I'm not entirely sure why that was relevant, and why she couldn't remember my name when she referenced that, but it's starting to really get on my nerves when people assume I'm a high schooler.

Also, go figure, I showed up late last week. Every other class I've been there 15-20 minutes early, so you would think the rec staff lady would know that this was an exception to the norm. No, she had the director email my teacher to let him know I was late, and apparently made it seem as if it's a chronic problem. It would naturally be the same week someone else was complaining about things. Yes, I was late, and it's not right. I would have expected a little more grace from these people, though.

Anyway, this looks bad for me, and my teacher's pretty understanding, but I worry that he thinks I'm not doing a good job. He's going to come in next week to observe and provide damage control for anything mom might have been spreading around. I'm also worried that this will effect my chances at getting to teach this class again in the future, as well as the regular classes I teach at the studio.

I've had to deal with crazy parents through school things before, but it hurts more in this setting. I guess it bothers me also because there's some truth to the complaints. I think that otherwise the classes are going very well. The kids are learning and enjoying the lessons, which is what I should focus on. The kids don't care that my uniform has a hole in it or that I forgot my tape. Even the kids that have gotten kicked love the class. I just wish these people had said something to me first instead of taking it to my boss. At least there's only two more sessions with this group.

[Coradion]

What really pisses me off are people who must seek self validation constantly. If you continually have to say "I'm a pro" because of X. You're not a pro. You're a wannabe. It's just like Game of Thrones where having to say "I am the King" actually means you're not a true king.

Like if you post twenty minute videos of yourself doing a whole bunch of the same thing you're probably not doing anything truly worthwhile. For some of my friends with show reels they like to keep it to one song's duration with emphasis on their talents and highlights of their career, not continual day to day activities.

[AniaR]

I'll keep being the wannabe pro that pisses you off then. ;) *blows kiss* thankfully your opinions of other mermaids don't actually define them.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[Echidna]

I find it highly amusing when people run out of arguments (in case they had any to begin with),
and then come to this thread spewing poison.

Reminds me of little children.
Always makes me smile.

Wrong thread, I guess ;)

[AniaR]

Perhaps people's 20 minute videos aren't even intended to be showreels??? Since demo reels tend to have that in the title? My fans enjoy my 20 minute behind the scenes video, and my 20 minute montage videos. If you don't, don't watch. Who are you to complain about what other mermaids put out, especially if you aren't a professional mermaid. In the words of George R.R. Martin from A Game of Thrones, Oh you sweet summer child.

[Dacora]

Spent almost 2 days making my costume. I won't even get to use it since the bf decided he does not want to go out now....

~The goldfish mermaid~

[Seatan]

So, i teach 12th grade English and today my principal and department head walk into my room and are like "someone told the district that you've been talking about orgies in your class." I stare at them for a moment and then go, "yeah, because we are reading Brave New World which is full of sex and orgies." Note that it is not me who picks the damn books--the whole department is reading this pornographic insanity of a dystopia). "It's on the approved reading list and the whole department is doing the exact same stuff I am. " I never wanted to teach the sexaholic anonymous' classical fiction piece to teenagers!

"Well, just because it is in the approved reading list doesn't mean that it should all be read aloud.... Hem haw, hem haw."

WTF? Then why did you put it on the approved reading list and assign it to me to teach???

"you just need to, you know, redirect so the kids go home talking about the merit worthy parts of the book and not the sex."

Oh, yeah, cause THAT is gonna happen. It has an orgy in it. No teen is gonna get past that.

note that everytime we read, I emphasize that this is the authors view of a terrible world, not what he wants life to be like. But still some parent wants to string me up.

Luckily my principal and department chair seemed to be on my side--I mean, they ARE the ones who chose a book with orgies!--but it still made me cry and feel like crap.

Sigh. I miss my old job. When I worked with intellectually disabled teens I could just read em Sr. Seuss and be done with it.

[WillowAnne]

I teach English, too! I have 10th and 11th grade. I REALLY feel ya. I taught Fahrenheit 451 (which is WAY more mild than BNW) and a parent called me, yelling because I said "damn" out loud as I read it to the class. Ummmm. It's in the book. It's in the syllabus. And of course, the kiddos will ALWAYS talk about the "bad" parts.

I can't believe they came in and did that to you, though. Were you in the middle of a class when they came in?

[Seatan]

Nah, they were really good about it. Came in on my break and wanted to know "my side." But it had gone straight to the district--luckily an informal complaint--and I just started in this district two weeks ago. I've cried a half a dozen times since I started, it's been so hard starting in the middle of the year. Some of the kids have been horrible, so bad they had to move a girl to another class, and I've been thrown head first in with no idea what's been happening. I've only worked with emotionally disturbed and intellectually disabled kids before and so am used to intimate classes--now I have almost 35 kids in each of my six classes. Being sort of reprimanded for simply reading what was in the book I was assigned was like one more blow. It's not as if you can hide the sex in BNW like you can in, say, Mudsummer Nights Dream where kids don't understand the language. If they don't want you to read it, take it off the approved list! I am only teaching what you gave me! Ugh. Just a bad couple of weeks overall. I miss my kids in my old program. This job pays four times as much, though, so I am just trying to keep focused on the awesome tail I'm getting and the blue water scuba trip I am taking this summer. I really do feel like I spend every day being kicked in the face, though.

[WillowAnne]

Oh, that sucks SO bad... I worked in my district for three years, and then our school had a huge drop in attendance, so being the last teacher hired (I only had three years experience) I was let go. I went to a conference in San Francisco where only 200 out of 3500 people were chosen and I was let go from my teaching position the day I came back to work, that Monday. suuuuuucks. I found another job within the district, but I don't have a classroom and I have to teach from a cart. I can't tell you how many times I've cried. It just sucks. ESPECIALLY when a teacher in our department plays checkers with her kids DAILY and watches movies, but she has tenure and basically can't be touched. I feel like I teach in fear, now.

Seriously, if you need materials or anything, or if there is anything I can do, let me know.

[Seatan]

Oh and this district has a policy of allowing students to vent all their problems about you, THEN after they all talk horrible about you, the principal will step in and be like "Now that you've gotten that off your chest you need to obey her." Talk about humiliating. That one made me cry. They walked into my room after I asked for help, without telling me they were coming, asked me to leave, let the kids talk about me as I stood outside, embarrassed as hell, then after they had leg a bunch of misbehaving teens complain about me, told the kids that I'm the teacher. Then one of the principals said there's not a big difference between 27 and a senior in Highschool and maybe I should be more of a "facilitator" instead of a teacher and let them work on their own because they felt I was treating them like children. I was treating them like children because they were acting like children and wouldn't do anything and constantly said I had no right to tell then what to so! Yuck, seriously this has been a horrible three weeks. I pray it gets better.

[Seatan]

Thanks, WillowAnne, I appreciate it. And I feel for you too. Working off a cart SUCKS and having my own room is one of the best parts of this district. The joys of teaching, right? Lol

[WillowAnne]

I know, it SUCKS. I had my own classroom for three years, then I lost my job, and now I'm teaching from a cart. I feel disorganized, and I don't feel like the awesome teacher I used to be. My entire spare room is filled with books, binders, files, and decorations, and I have nowhere to put it. I have to look at it all the time and be reminded of how things used to be.

If it makes you feel better, we had a student last year who urinated in a bottle during class and rolled it to the front of the classroom. It wasn't one of my kiddos, but sheesh!

[AniaR]

I feel your pain ladies, there are no jobs where I live. People sub for a decade trying to get a perm job and they make it impossible to go perm. I get much more mermaid work than teaching. :( we have like 20,000 more teachers than we need in my province and they keep cutting the education budget.

[WillowAnne]

Wow... That really stinks. I feel lucky because I wouldn't have gotten another job if it weren't for my previous principal. He spent two days out of the building talking to principals within and outside of the district to try to find me a job. It isn't a good time to be a teacher. Way too many budget cuts, class sizes are huge, and we wonder why our students aren't learning? Eek, rant over. Raina, did you find a permanent job, or are you still forced to play the system and wait? Sounds like you've got it bad over there... yikes.

[Seatan]

Yeah, I was a TA for an eternity before I found a teaching job. I am definitely gratefully to have it, despite the headaches. It really can be SUCH a difficult job, though. People have no idea how much work is involved. I emailed over forty parents, graded over a thousand assignments and entered the grades, wrote different material for my English Language Learners, dealt with a half a dozen SpEd issues, and did three tutoring sessions after school just this week--oh yeah, and taught class, lol. But I do love kids, and when things go well it can be so rewarding. I just hope I settle into my new home school. I found out yesterday that one if my sped kids from my old school is refusing to do his work--"I want Miss Wilson back!--and it made me yearn to be back with the kids I know in the school I'm used to. But I am still grateful for this chance, and really feel for you, Raina. On the good days its a tough job to get, and when they're cutting funds like they always do then it gets harder and harder!

[AniaR]

Honestly, I work constantly as a mermaid so I'm okay with it for right now. Eventually I'll have a classroom but I'm busy right now :) I mean, I won't be able to be a mermaid forever, so I'm going to keep going and see how far I can take it! :D

[Elle]

So I got married on Saturday been (the 26th of October) and that went really well. Except that two of my husbands brothers didn't end up coming because of my mother in law (she was uninvited and got them to not come because of it. and because we invited them and their girlfriends it was actually 4 people who didn't show up. and they told us that they weren't coming the day of the wedding. :(

[AniaR]

I'm so happy for you. Sorry some family didn't come but it's their loss.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[Winged Mermaid]

Congratulations! I know it's a bummer, but those family members are going to regret not coming in a few months, and it's a mistake they'll have to live with. Hopefully they realize after that, that temporary drama isn't worth permanently missing something like that. :/

[Azurin Luna]

Congratz! To bad some people have to think like that

[Elle]

I'm so happy for you. Sorry some family didn't come but it's their loss.


Congratulations! I know it's a bummer, but those family members are going to regret not coming in a few months, and it's a mistake they'll have to live with. Hopefully they realize after that, that temporary drama isn't worth permanently missing something like that. :/


Congratz! To bad some people have to think like that

Thanks everyone. We aren't angry with them, we're just disappointed that this is the way it all panned out. Them coming to our wedding had been the point of discussion leading up to the event. And they were aware that she hadn't been invited because of her behaviours. its just sad that the waited for the day of to turn around and say they weren't coming. I know my husband feels particularly disappointed in his younger brothers because of what happened. and I'm concerned about healing times for new wounds

[AniaR]

it's hard with (what sounds like a very emotionally) abusive parents. My mother wont be invited to my wedding. Then again she hasn't been welcomed in my life for 4 years. But because of not having her in my life basically her entire side of my family dropped me. Over the 4 years a few have come out of the wood work, but when you're the CHILD of the person like that you're conditioned and guilted to enable them. Because you only have one mom. Even society encourages it. :(

[Elle]

it's hard with (what sounds like a very emotionally) abusive parents. My mother wont be invited to my wedding. Then again she hasn't been welcomed in my life for 4 years. But because of not having her in my life basically her entire side of my family dropped me. Over the 4 years a few have come out of the wood work, but when you're the CHILD of the person like that you're conditioned and guilted to enable them. Because you only have one mom. Even society encourages it. :(

Indeed. We reckon the youngest would of come regardless but the second youngest is (for lack of a better word) a mummy's boy. Regardless of what she has done to him in the past, he will defend her tooth and nail. And he can be very controlling of the youngest. It's just a shame that it had to come to it. Particularly because she didn't want to come in the first place, and she still sought a way to try and ruin it for us. It sucks :( but hopefully they will come around and everything will be good

[AniaR]

hmm that is actually VERY typical from what I have read learning about my own mom. I don't wanna make any assumptions but I may have some books and links (If I haven't already sent them to you, sorry I can't remember) that may empower you and your husband. I mean there is only so much YOU can do but if she is going to be a part of your life in anyway I found them very helpful. And also very insightful to family dynamic.

[Elle]

yeah you did send me a couple. and I've spent a lot of time reading. It definitely helps :)

[MermaidSabrina]

I hate Waiting for a company to finish your top and send you your tail xD I'm so impatient

[Ilyena]

Just a little lurker here about the family thing, my parents divorced when I was young and I haven't seen my dad in 9 years, recently I went to my cousins birthday on my dads side, they all still welcome me and he doesn't get invited to any function. But when I got there my grandparents, after saying hello and the usual stuff, had a massive hissy fit that I, (the child at the time and till this day) was meant to keep in contact with him and make the effort (yet they don't realise the hell he put me through). They left 5 mins after I got there. Supposed family, sometimes they need to learn to stop behaving like children in my opinion.....

[deepblue]

Someone I know is missing.

It's mind blowing that someone can be on the phone with a friend, headed to them, never arrive.... and she's just gone.

Missing persons report has been filed. All my circle friends is so very worried because Carly isn't someone who would just take off. It's completely out of character. Also, she had left someone with the impression she was in San Diego on a day when she was not, and that's not like her. All this has all of us pretty worried. I am not close to her- but I've gone to club with her, used to have her on my LiveJournal (when I had one), and I admire her- she started her own bodywork and yoga studio.

But right now, she's just gone. She's just disappeared. In this day and age, someone can still just vanish.

I'm posting this flyer here. Anyone seeing this who's in the San Francisco/Bay area, please keep your eyes open. Carly has a very young daughter and so many loved ones waiting for her to come home. This is the latest flyer.


EDIT: She's been found, safe, apparently. I don't know details, but that's all that really matters.

[Echidna]

It's mind blowing that someone can be on the phone with a friend, headed to them, never arrive.... and she's just gone.

In some cases when this happens, the person in question has had an accident on the way.
If she was driving through an isolated region (?), it could be she veered from the road and is somewhere stuck.

There was this report of a man a few days ago, who vanished in the same manner,
it turned out his car fell off the road into a ravine and he couldn't free himself.

Be sure to check this possibility when looking for her!

Good luck, I hope she turns up unharmed again.

[Mermaid Octavia]

I hope she turns up quickly, Deepblue. :(

[deepblue]

In some cases when this happens, the person in question has had an accident on the way.
If she was driving through an isolated region (?), it could be she veered from the road and is somewhere stuck.

It's rather the opposite problem- she disappeared in a highly populated area. San Francisco, Bay area, it's one of the most populated areas in Northern California.

Her car had broken down on the freeway, we know that, because she spoke with a friend and was going to meet that friend by taking BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) and supposed to call her friend when she arrived. That was the last time anyone spoke with her, as she never called to say she'd arrived.

[Mermaid_Dominique]

Jesus that's terrible :( I hope you find her very soon! Good luck to you!

[deepblue]

I don't even know if all this goes in this thread, but I needed to vent. And it seems like a venting thread in general.

The SF Weekly wrote an article. I'm really glad to see so many people are trying to find her. http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2013/11/carly_gutierrez_san_diego_woma.php

[Mermaid Lilium]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend DeepBlue =( I hope she turns up and is ok!

OK so I need to majorly rant (and show that I am infact still alive seeing as I've not been on MN since... mid september?)

so I had to spend all summer catching up on my work from last year (2nd year of my BAhons Degree in Photography) because of shit that happened last year that culminated in me being crippled with social anxiety ontop of my depression, meaning that I missed the entirety of the rest of the academic year from Feb.
But I managed to turn things around and get everything in. My deadline for it all (after several extensions due to the amount of work I had mitigating circumstances for) was August 23rd. Which was the friday during the week my Mom-in-Law (Sue) was over visiting from PA. (husband is American, I'm english).

The thursday I was glued to my sketchbooks trying to get all the work done and only took a break to eat - Sue had bought chinese for us. A bit after dinner, Sue kicked off (justifiably) at me, my husband and my older brother for not doing enough to help my mum around the house. Then she turned on Paul.

Bear in mind paul is an acoholic, emotionally abusive asshole that mum already wanted to escape from, but was trying to financially extricate herself from and pay off her debts to put herself in a better situation.

Paul and Sue ended up in a huge shouting match that thursday night which ended up with sue saying she would call and change her tickets to go home early (which my husband later talked her out of) and paul finishing off the rest of a bottle of whiskey and passing out in bed (typical behaviour).

I stayed up all night desperately trying to finish my work, and only stopped to have a slight nap after I quietly took my work downstairs out of the way of my husband who was trying to sleep. At 7.30am-ish Paul came down and stood at the end of the sofa looking at me/what I was doing and I was just like 'been up all night, deadline at 4.30, need to focus' and he walked back out the room and then came back in, grabbing the remote and I went to say 'if you're putting the tv on can you stick to something like the news or at least....(keep the voume down)' and he just snapped at me, threw the remote down and was like 'after last night, I'm not taking it, I'm not taking anything' and stormed out the room - and eventually came back in, turned on the tv pretty loudly, which woke sue up so she came in and sat down and paul started sniping at her being like 'so what time's your flight?' and we told him it was sunday like planned. He came and went from the room several times and one of these times he went upstairs where mum was in bed and said 'sue has to go. And if anyone else has something to say about me, they can say it to my face, and I'll rip their f*cking head off and sh*t down their necks!' the last half was so explosively loud that it made my cat (Mew) jump right up in the air and run out, and woke my husband and brother up who had been out cold.... Paul ended up dissapearing out and we called the cops on him finally (he came back while mum was on the phone to them) and long story short(er): the cops escorted him from the house to 'calm down' but as he owns 50% of the house they couldn't stop him from returning.

Since then we have had to call the cops on him again 2? more times - one of which was because he threatened to burn the house down (which is a threat he has made in the past) and the last of which they removed him overnight (he works like 4am-12 though cause he's a baker) but again, couldn't/didn't stop him from returning from the house - they should have actually put him on bail with bail restrictions, for breach of the peace. *sigh*

basically since then we have been in this stagnant position where repeatedly mum has been saying 'you have 14 days to get out before we file for a court order' (restriction order type thing) with paul not budging and CONSTANTLY pressuring mum into giving him 'another chance', having issues with paul's shitty solicitor (lawyer) not responding to mum's and so endlessly delaying the process. Even when he finally turned around (like a month or more ago) and said 'the house is yours, I just need £10k, to be allowed to stay in the house til everything is sorted (apart from mum's room) and no more calling the cops' (last part is completely illeagal btw) He is STILL here, mum still hasn't done the court-order (even though it's sat ready to file, I think we're once again waiting for his solicitor to respond to the 'we're filing in 7 days' letter), and he is STILL pressuring mum into giving him another chance/to try to fix things. It's a fucking nightmare! And for example in the last week mum has had a work meal to go to, and a counselling session to go to (she told him that was a meeting - for church I think) and both times he's made snarky comments such as when she came down in her smart black skater dress ready to leave for that meal, he said 'I hope he's worth it' asdfghjkl;'\ *ragequits* he made another comment on monday and my husband had to talk me down from storming downstairs and giving the douchebag a piece of my mind and/or fist. (I'm not actually a violent person, I've never been in a fight, and I'm actually terrified of conflict/shouting)

and throughout working myself to the bone trying to get the work done over summer, and this situation where mum and my family have enough to deal with already, I've had a medical issue that's been getting worse that I've been dealing/putting up with so I could go back to the doctors and get it sorted once this situation was sorted. But that's just gotten MUCH worse in the last week so now I've had to book in at the doctors tomorrow and will likely have to have some kind of surgery at some point soon. This is with me already struggling to keep up with my uni work - I have two huge projects that i'm combining into one long project this year, and my dissertation - both of which have mini-deadlines throughout.

And just to add to the fuck-fest that is my life recently, a few days before halloween I had to put my cat down - she came home in a state on the friday, we rushed her to the vets on the monday because she wasn't improving and after a night of trying to syringe-feed her, I had to put her down because the blood-test said her kidneys were failing and her immune system was shutting down. She was a rescue cat, I chose her 13 years ago (she was 15/16), and I was the one who made the choice to put her to sleep. I'm still bursting into tears now while I'm writing this for heavensake. Even in amongst all that paul was still right on form on the monday - I gave in to his offer of a lift to the vets on the monday due to how bad mew was, thinking he would drop me and go home - nope! he stuck around, especially as mum was meeting me there, and was in the room with us when the vet was seeing her and was trying to offer to pay for mew to stay at the vets overnight and such (I didn't want her to be left in a cold cage unsupervised for half the night) and when mum was at the counter trying to pay he walked over and shoved his face down right near hers and was like 'you got the money for it?' - again, a moment of me wanting to beat the shit out of him.

I'd beaten back my depression over the summer but loosing mew and this medical stuff that is making me feel like hell at the moment, have started letting bad thoughts creep back in =(

I just wish life would give me a fucking chance sometimes.

Sorry for the novel =/

[Mermaid Lilium]

oh and basically, we were trying to negotiate with paul on that 10k to buy him out and then mum spoke to a mortguage advisor who actually knew what he was on about and found out she wouldn't be able to get a new mortgauge for this house, so we're putting this house up for sale and hopefully, with her raise in jan, we'll be buying a new house - but the monthly payments will be £900ish due to her age =(

This woman already built her life up from having escaped my emotionally abusive and manipulative psychopath of a father (who just happens to be Paul's older brother FYI), we had our own house back in my hometown and she sold that house and moved half way across the country 7 years ago to be with Paul. And now because of this dickhead she's essentially having to start all over again even though she's nearing 60 =/

[SeaSister]

Oh. My. God.

I'm so sorry about this nightmare you're going through, Kat (is it okay if I call you that?)! NO ONE should have to put up with that much bs. This Paul guy... ugh, I just feel like he needs a serious whack over the head. Honestly, I don't think you should have to pay him to leave. It's your mom's house, right? (well, now that she's selling it I guess not, but still) From what you've said, she doesn't seem to have any obligation to help him out, but then again I don't know the full story. This whole thing is just... ugh, I can't imagine what it's been like for you.

BUT please know that we here at Mernetwork are behind you! Please don't give in to negative thoughts; depression is such a dark place to be in. Remember that shit happens; it's not your fault, you shouldn't feel responsible for it in any way. As Forrest Gump would say, life is a box of chocolates and you never know what you're gonna get. Looks like you got stuck with a bad batch, but don't give up! You'll be sure to find that dreamy, nutty, caramelly chocolate-coated candy at the bottom of the box one day.

I'll be sending prayers and happy thoughts your way. :)

[Mermaid Lilium]

Oh. My. God.

I'm so sorry about this nightmare you're going through, Kat (is it okay if I call you that?)! NO ONE should have to put up with that much bs. This Paul guy... ugh, I just feel like he needs a serious whack over the head. Honestly, I don't think you should have to pay him to leave. It's your mom's house, right? (well, now that she's selling it I guess not, but still) From what you've said, she doesn't seem to have any obligation to help him out, but then again I don't know the full story. This whole thing is just... ugh, I can't imagine what it's been like for you.

BUT please know that we here at Mernetwork are behind you! Please don't give in to negative thoughts; depression is such a dark place to be in. Remember that shit happens; it's not your fault, you shouldn't feel responsible for it in any way. As Forrest Gump would say, life is a box of chocolates and you never know what you're gonna get. Looks like you got stuck with a bad batch, but don't give up! You'll be sure to find that dreamy, nutty, caramelly chocolate-coated candy at the bottom of the box one day.

I'll be sending prayers and happy thoughts your way. :)

Always fine to call me Kat! =)

and yeah I didn't want us to give him any money and there would be no legal standing for that 10k (he turned around after mum snubbed him over some flowers and said 'it's going to be 20k now' and then when the first offer of 5k went through he sent a solicitors letter back saying he needed 15k). That lump sum would be on top of buying him out - essentially money to get him to fuck off (he said it was for his deposit and first month's payment/rent etc) BUT now we're selling the house he won't get a penny from us :D just his half of the house and he'll be lucky to get £5k equity from the house. Mum just needs to get this damn court order sent off - she has to convince a judge that paul needs to be removed from the house in a written statement, and I may also have to testify in court about paul for it.

I keep saying this to people... but I swear that I deserve a medal for being a redhead in this situation (with the steretypical firey nature) and managing to keep shtum and/or not kill him. Lol

and I get that this stuff happens in life, but my life just seems to be a never-ending supply of those 'bad batches' stacked up on on top of the other. It just gets to me sometimes =/ And dealing with paul gets to me sometimes like I just end up feeling like my mind is cracking open or like I'm loosing my mind. I'm used to just keeping swimming as good ol' Dory says, but I feel like I'm running out of steam right now. Could just use a hug, yaknow?

The other sucky thing is that it means I can't start sculpting my first tail commission until we're in the new house =/

And I've only managed to sneak in two swims with my monofin, at two gyms -
The first place, the pool is tiny, shallow (but managable for getting some training done) and oddly shaped (not to mention low lighting) but they will let you pay for a day's swimming (£6/7) and during most of the week the pool is empty 90% of the time.
The second place is a swanky resort-type hotel gym and they only have monthly membership options and the cheapest one is £32 and that's limited to 9am - 3pm monday - friday. =/ But at least they have a full size outdoor pool. It's not super deep though as I can still stand up in the deepest part (water at shoulder height)
and right now I just don't have the money to pay for an annual membership, and with the medical stuff, I don't think swimming will be an option for a while =( I do have one more hotel gym to contact and see if they'll let me test out the pool, but I'll have to wait til the medical stuff is fixed to do that =( ah well.

[deepblue]

Just to update: Carly has been found, and is safe. I don't know any details, but I wanted to say thank you, mers, for your support. :)

[Mermaid Octavia]

Oh thank goodness!! I am so happy for you guys! I'm glad she's okay!

[Seatan]

Worked three twelve hour days, went home and graded for another four hours, am up to my ears in essays for report card grades this Friday, had to deal with pissed off seventeen year olds who didn't like being called out for cheating, had ninety fourteen year olds treat me like an annoying homeless person, and got a surprise inspection from administration with a billion senior memory books spread out all over my floor.

*done for the day*

[JamesGunnels]

okay...so...anyone who works in retail knows how FUCKING STUPID! people can be. So, in Austin we have this bag ban law...I am totally for it. We have a sign that says we can no longer give away single use bags...now, for a lot of these people...they come in daily or a few times a week (It's a campus grocery store) and it really pisses me the fuck off when I see someone come in twice a day...buy the same shit, and take another bag when I am pretty sure they have accumulated a shit ton of bags. Some people may see this as petty, but it is so fucking stupid. You know that you need to bring your own bags...like you have to do at ALL grocery stores in Austin as of the 1st of this last January! I try to explain to them that I can't keep giving them bags and yet they buy so much shit that I have to give them one! ALSO!! fucking dumb ass bitches who see me at one register go to the other register because it is closest to where they are...yet I am closest to the door...they go to the other register (There are only two) I wait until they realize that I am not going to move from where I am logged into, then it's my fault when they look stupid for not realizing that the other register is not even logged into! and the rude fucking bimbos! OMG! seriously! STOP BLEACHING YOUR HAIR! YOU DON'T HAVE BRAINCELLS TO SPARE! I can't even imagine how some of these people got into UT! It's one of the best universities in the nation! Like this one bitch who was talking to her friend about the new Mercedes her parents got her...it wasn't the right shade of red...SO SHE MADE THEM TAKE IT THE FUCK BACK! STOP BITCHING!

on a side note! I am happy you found her!!!!

[Alveric]

:);):D:cool::lol: For the found person. So many of these turn out badly, it's nice to hear of one that didn't. :lol:

[Fun123joker]

its not really a problem but a movie one night only thing of Doctor Who was sold out and my bro is such a big fan :(

[Dacora]

So I haven't been here in a long time due to life being such an asshole. Which in itself should be a bitch it out but I have more to rant about....

I got not long ago, I was promised I was going to be trained to be the assistant manager. It was far out of my way but since my mom and I where going to work together it was alright since we could carpool. Started the job, the already assistant manger is a bitch. She hates being there and lets everyone know it. She has no common sense and when I am able to figure things out she gets pissy because someone younger than her knows more about something.
She is also a two face and kisses my moms ass. But is a bitch to me when my mom is not there.
Well my mom had asked her something about splitting the tips one day and she could not explain it to my mom. We though it was supposed to be split between cashier (me) and the cook. But she expled it weird to my mom so my mom went and asked the boss above her just to clear things up.

I dont give a fuck about the tips. At the end of the day we are lucky to get 3 bucks total. Its not worth me worrying about. But the head boss told the assent manager that I had called and asked about it, when in fact my mom txted her and asked. The next day the assistant manager bitched me out and got pissed at me when I had NOTHING to do with it. Like I said I dont care about the damn tips!! So I was nice and said "My mom asked because it was not clear enough for her. If you have an issue tank to her." And she kept on about it so I ignored her.

Fast forward to about two weeks before Halloween. My BF and I had a night planned out so I told her I was not able to come in. She said put it on the calender. So I did. The weekend before Halloween she handed me the work schedule and she had me down to work. I told her I couldn't, I will be out of town and she goes "Well geez do you want to work?". So I said yes when I want to tell her to put it where the sun dont shine.

And now they have me working one day a week. ONE DAY. That is minimum wage. About 6 hours. That does not even cover my gas to get there. Also she had my mom work for her at a different time so I could not carpool with her. This started last week and I made a whopping 39 bucks.
So I talked to her this week saying if I cant get more hours I cant work because I am losing money working for them. She told me to wait until next week beofore I decide because they are going to cut the one damn day I work out for the winter since its slow. So I told her I was just going to find a new job.

Thing is there is no jobs where I live. Im in a small town with hardly any business. The nearest towns are about an hour away and my truck is 21 years old. Either I drive my truck into the ground even though its almost there, get a loan to move into one of the towns even though I have no credit and wont likely be able to get one or just live with my parents until my bf is ready for me to move in with him which wont be for awhile since he is having a hard time supporting himself right now.

I just graduated high school. I should be going to college and starting my life. Not already stuck in one place with no money and cant get out. I feel like no matter how hard I try I just cant go anywhere....

[Mermaid Lilium]

its not really a problem but a movie one night only thing of Doctor Who was sold out and my bro is such a big fan :(

Day of the doctor should go out 'live' on bbc america too as it's being shown simultaniously around the world including special showings at cinemas etc, so maybe check the listings and if I'm correct and it's on, you could make it a little dr who party at your house? =) That way it's still made a little bit special to celebrate the 50th anniversary! =)

[Echidna]

Just to update: Carly has been found, and is safe. I don't know any details, but I wanted to say thank you, mers, for your support. :)

I'm really glad it turned out this way!

[Mermaid Momo]

its not really a problem but a movie one night only thing of Doctor Who was sold out and my bro is such a big fan :(

Maybe you can check and see if any comic book stores will be having parties. I know almost all of the stores here will be having parties and it will be shown in some cinemas and not to mention the individual parties.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[JamesGunnels]

So...would someone please be kind enough and explain something to me. I work for a student grocery/bookstore. We have these little black baskets with wheels that you drag around...they're right next to the door. HOW FUCKING DIFFICULT IS IT TO FUCKING DRAG IT BEHIND YOUR LAZY FUCKING ASS AND PUT IT UP YOURSELVES?!?!?!?! (not any of you, obviously, just in general.) Oh! And...if you decide that the milk you took out of the cooler wasn't something you wanted...WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST OUT IT ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE OF THE FRIGGEN COOLER?!?!?!?! YOU OPENED THE DOOR ONCE ALREADY TO GET IT...WHY CAN"T YOU DO IT ONCE MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I hate people so much sometimes. Human evolution and respect seems to have completely halted.

[JamesGunnels]

So I haven't been here in a long time due to life being such an asshole. Which in itself should be a bitch it out but I have more to rant about....

I got not long ago, I was promised I was going to be trained to be the assistant manager. It was far out of my way but since my mom and I where going to work together it was alright since we could carpool. Started the job, the already assistant manger is a bitch. She hates being there and lets everyone know it. She has no common sense and when I am able to figure things out she gets pissy because someone younger than her knows more about something.
She is also a two face and kisses my moms ass. But is a bitch to me when my mom is not there.
Well my mom had asked her something about splitting the tips one day and she could not explain it to my mom. We though it was supposed to be split between cashier (me) and the cook. But she expled it weird to my mom so my mom went and asked the boss above her just to clear things up.

I dont give a fuck about the tips. At the end of the day we are lucky to get 3 bucks total. Its not worth me worrying about. But the head boss told the assent manager that I had called and asked about it, when in fact my mom txted her and asked. The next day the assistant manager bitched me out and got pissed at me when I had NOTHING to do with it. Like I said I dont care about the damn tips!! So I was nice and said "My mom asked because it was not clear enough for her. If you have an issue tank to her." And she kept on about it so I ignored her.

Fast forward to about two weeks before Halloween. My BF and I had a night planned out so I told her I was not able to come in. She said put it on the calender. So I did. The weekend before Halloween she handed me the work schedule and she had me down to work. I told her I couldn't, I will be out of town and she goes "Well geez do you want to work?". So I said yes when I want to tell her to put it where the sun dont shine.

And now they have me working one day a week. ONE DAY. That is minimum wage. About 6 hours. That does not even cover my gas to get there. Also she had my mom work for her at a different time so I could not carpool with her. This started last week and I made a whopping 39 bucks.
So I talked to her this week saying if I cant get more hours I cant work because I am losing money working for them. She told me to wait until next week beofore I decide because they are going to cut the one damn day I work out for the winter since its slow. So I told her I was just going to find a new job.

Thing is there is no jobs where I live. Im in a small town with hardly any business. The nearest towns are about an hour away and my truck is 21 years old. Either I drive my truck into the ground even though its almost there, get a loan to move into one of the towns even though I have no credit and wont likely be able to get one or just live with my parents until my bf is ready for me to move in with him which wont be for awhile since he is having a hard time supporting himself right now.

I just graduated high school. I should be going to college and starting my life. Not already stuck in one place with no money and cant get out. I feel like no matter how hard I try I just cant go anywhere....

finding work, sadly is hard everywhere. I live in Austin...the capital of Texas bla bla bla how exciting. It took me a year to find a job here, because as fucked up as it is...one of Austins things is, "Keep it local," I am from Canada....(well...born in Mississippi, raised in Canada) I had one woman actually ask me how long I have been in Austin...when I told her only a few months, she just looked at me and said..."oh...we'll get back to you."

I currently work for a company that sells all the books and other merchandise for the university. I have been here for a year and a half now with this company...and I am still considered a "permanent-temp" because they do not want to hire anyone on full-time so they are not obligated to pay for our health insurance. Also, temps are not allowed to park for free in the garage. We have to pay daily. That's 8 dollars a day..for however many days they have us working...which is normally only 29 hours unless it's during football season, then it could be 12 hour shifts for nine or ten without days of. What they do is pretty much illegal but, when you need the money you take it. I would not be here anymore if I could find another job. I hope you will be able to get out of your small town and start your life for yourself. I didn't move out of my parents place until I met my boyfriend. It's been a nice parent free three years lol

[sunrise]

This is going to be a bit of a rant, just a warning. I bite my nails, a LOT. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there's still blood involved on occasion, and the only reason I don't go to the doctor's office with infected fingers anymore is because I've learned to catch the signs of a beginning infection, and treat it right away. My thumb nail isn't even half an inch long, and I've never had any of my fingernails grow over the skin at the top. I've tried to stop biting a few times over the years, but nothing works for very long. If anything, actually having my nails "long" (two millimeters longer than normal) makes it harder to resist biting. :( This is a habit I've had, as my mom says, since I've had teeth, making it really hard to stop, but I really want to, and I'm really determined this time.

I haven't bitten my nails since, I want to say Friday, night. I hadn't been biting, since I was playing with modeling clay, and so I decided to keep that up. It's been three days now, and it's really frustrating, because I keep wanting to bite, and I have to keep reminding myself not to. Plus, I know that when my nails grow, they're going to dig into the skin for a while, which will be very annoying and uncomfortable. I guess I just needed to let this out, since it's been bugging me. Also, typing this helped me to keep my fingers busy, and when I wasn't typing, I was playing with a ball of modeling clay. :) Wednesday I'm going to see my neurologist about my epilepsy, but I'm just going to worry about one day at a time, or I'll never stop biting my nails. :lol:

[Thalassa]

Sunrise: you can do it! Ingrained habits are really hard to break, but you're on your way! A note: don't be discouraged if you backslide and have to start again. Each day you don't bite, each TIME you don't bite is a success and step towards breaking the habit.

Having something to do with your hands helps. I got a ring that I twist a lot.

You can do it! Take it from a fellow nail-biter! Used to be I'd bite them to the quick, too!

http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/11/19/5a9y5udy.jpg

[SeaSister]

Sunrise, I feel your pain! I, too, am a chronic nail biter. I can't remember a time when I had long nails (if I ever did, anyways). Mine haven't gotten infected, thankfully, but they do bleed sometimes. I've tried a lot of things but nothing seems to work. Maybe I just need to put band-aids over all of my fingers all the time, lol. But that would look really bad and probably be annoying...
Anyways, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! If you find something that helps curb the habit, please let me know!

[Aziara]

I bit my nails for years. For some reason I couldn't stand to bite them while they were painted, so I had to leave them painted for a while until I broke the habit. What really helps is having something else to occupy your hands, like a worry stone or something else small in your pocket to fiddle with.

[PearlieMae]

I made myself a bracelet for each wrist with the saying "Every bite is a choice."

And then one day, the nailbiting was done. Good luck!

[SeaSister]

Whenever I painted my nails I would just scrape the polish off with my teeth subconsciously... them continue to bite. :/

[deepblue]

Damn my lack of social skills. Damn being shy. Damn having had a life dealing with mental shit so that now that I don't as often, I have no idea what I'm doing. Learning to cope with a disorder means that, once the disorder is fading or in the background, I no longer really know how to cope and am learning all over. All this is the result of getting better, but still. Gah.

My boyfriend- who is hands down THE most incredibly awesome wonderful man I have ever met- really wants me to see and meet his friends. No pressure at all, but it's something he'd like. For all the obvious reasons that most people would have. He is, in fact, being his awesome usual self in not pressuring me.

The idea makes me feel nauseated because of the nerves. I'm not used to socializing outside of my small circle of friends and my clubs (goth clubs) which have long been like a second family and home. I'm far more at ease among them, but even there it's just...

GAH. Shyness. Social skills lacking. No idea how to talk with people I don't know quite well or instantly hit it off with. *headdesk* And the worst part is... for me, anyway, they already know a little more about me than I'd like. I have nothing to hide, but at the same time, some things are personal and when they asked him why I don't work... he was, as I'd expect, honest without too much detail. I'm on disability due to disorders, and he told them the basics, because they're his good friends, and they care about him and asked. And I have no problem with that. Except that I now feel at even more of a disadvantage- these people, I don't know them, and they already know something that makes me feel quite exposed. Something I don't tell people in person unless I've known them awhile. Except him, I told him, because he deserved to know if we were going to date and eventually be together. Which we are. And hence his friends want to meet me.

Sigh. And aaaaggghhH!

[Alveric]

Try meeting them one at a time in a setting of your choosing at a time of your choosing. If there's no pressure, there's no hurry. Works for me.

[JamesGunnels]

so...today as I walked into work, I was told by my coworkers that the head of HR needed to speak with me...well...I'm kind of crazy and always think the worst. I was pretty much panicking for a good 20 minutes when she walked in with this look on her face that told me the news weren't good. I figured that it had to do with all of us when we walked into the back office and she started to talk openly in front of everyone. She started by saying, "I talked to everyone this morning about this, and since you weren't here...I needed to tell you before you heard it from someone else, and I don't think that would be fair...we're laying you off...not just you...everyone who work in the market." Oh...and this is where I GET SERIOUSLY FUCKING PISSED OFF!!! AT&T wanted our building because it's prime location...we still have a lease in that building for a few more years and AT&T is willing to pay double or some fucking bullshit like that. The president and top VP, might I also add, are FUCKING ASSHOLES! The president was mentioned in the local newspaper for tax evasion, and he makes a shit ton of money every year, he's just a crooked old asshat. The VP doesn't care about the sales associates. He looks down on us, and if we try and tell him hi, he looks right past us and doesn't even act like we fucking live. He also made it to where all the temps were no longer allowed to park for free in the parking garage because we aren't fulltime and those spaces take up perfectly good "money" that could be going to the store....we make MILLIONS EVERY FUCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! So...that's 8 dollars a day per temp...it fucking adds up...we don't want to make money just to fucking GIVE IT BACK TO THIS FUCKING CROOKED BUSINESS!!!!!!!!! What makes me even more fucking pissed off is that they aren't even offering us positions in the company. I worked at the main store for over a year before I started working there and still they won't offer me a job...ONE OF MY COWORKERS HAS WORKED IN THIS DEPARTMENT FOR 10 YEARS!!!! It isn't fair to them! The bosses could careless whether or not we have a place to live or food to eat. Oh yeah...I can apply for unemployment, but I already make shit pay...so, I'll get what? Half of the 390 to 450 I make every two weeks? I cannot FUCKING SURVIVE on that every month YOU FUCKING EGOTISTICAL PIGS!!!!!! I FUCKING CAN'T STAND YOU WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BEING AND DO NOT! WISH YOU THE BEST!!!!! YOU FUCK TOO MANY PEOPLE OVER AND COULD CARELESS!!! I HOPE THE COMPANY GOES BELLY UP AND YOU LOSE EVERYTHING BECAUSE YOU COULD CARELESS IF WE DO!

[Thalassa]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately it seems to be the way many businesses are run now. My dad worked for a company for 20 years and they lay him off without a second thought. He got another job in a startup business and supported them through their tough times (5 years)...they just merged with another larger company and he got laid off once again with a paltry severance pay (enough to last a month). So my dad, who is a loyal and hard worker and well over 50, is out there looking for work around Christmas. It makes me upset that there's no reward for company loyalty anymore.

[Mer_Adella]

This is going to be a bit of a rant, just a warning. I bite my nails, a LOT. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there's still blood involved on occasion, and the only reason I don't go to the doctor's office with infected fingers anymore is because I've learned to catch the signs of a beginning infection, and treat it right away. My thumb nail isn't even half an inch long, and I've never had any of my fingernails grow over the skin at the top. I've tried to stop biting a few times over the years, but nothing works for very long. If anything, actually having my nails "long" (two millimeters longer than normal) makes it harder to resist biting. :( This is a habit I've had, as my mom says, since I've had teeth, making it really hard to stop, but I really want to, and I'm really determined this time.

I haven't bitten my nails since, I want to say Friday, night. I hadn't been biting, since I was playing with modeling clay, and so I decided to keep that up. It's been three days now, and it's really frustrating, because I keep wanting to bite, and I have to keep reminding myself not to. Plus, I know that when my nails grow, they're going to dig into the skin for a while, which will be very annoying and uncomfortable. I guess I just needed to let this out, since it's been bugging me. Also, typing this helped me to keep my fingers busy, and when I wasn't typing, I was playing with a ball of modeling clay. :) Wednesday I'm going to see my neurologist about my epilepsy, but I'm just going to worry about one day at a time, or I'll never stop biting my nails. :lol:


Sunrise, I know what you mean. When I was younger (since a baby till i was 5) I sucked my thumb. Once I was teased at school about it, I started biting my nails. Low and behold my father bites his down to the quick. If I had to guess he only has 1/2" on each finger. I never had long nails. And I wanted them so bad. I've stopped biting but unfortunately have started biting the skin around the nail. Not all the way around, just the corners of where the nail comes out. I can't help it! Sometimes I don't think i'm doing it until i see that i've bitten down so far that its bleeding. Or my other bad habit is that I pick at my nails. I have learned not to pick at the nailpolish on my nails, but its when you have a nail that was bent and is about to break, I will break it and then try to make it smooth out and equal again with my teeth or nails. I used to have gorgeous long nails that I could do a french manicure on, but alass three nails on one hand and two on the other broke the other day. I said "oh well, so Iwill have to come up with a story about how those ones are shorter".

One thing that I have noticed tho. If you want to make your nails stronger, harder, and grow is to take a clear nail polish, or any color that you want, paint your nails that color. Then every day just apply another coat. My Greatx2 Aunt did this and she had super long Elvira nails!

I would dare say that all the other advice you have gotten from these lovely mers is right. If you can find something to do with your hands, that helps ALOT. I work with clay, crochet, sew, write, play guitar, and am currently working on fixing my house up (redoing furniture and prepping walls to paint). Just start crafting and see how you quickly forget about biting :)

[Mer_Adella]

Ok WARNING: this rant may contain strong language.

Ok so first off let me say that after reading this rant, please remember that I love my BF and won't leave him or anything like that so please just be kind in remembering that.
My BF works in Alabama, while I...stay at our house in Michigan. That's a 13hr drive difference. He pays for the bills of the house because I am a self employeed contractor and therefore work can come in hardcore or barely at all. Last time that he was home everything was all good. Having fun and stuff. He came in from outside, showered, and was being funny as I lay in bed reading a book (it was getting to be midnight). He walked into the living room and went to put his laptop in the office. The office was packed full of boxes and bags. (I had started going through all my boxes from moving in so it was even messier than it had been before) He came back into the bedroom and started just yelling.
"This house is a disaster" i replied with "I know" in a calm voice (learned it from my mom cus when dad would yell and yell she would be calm and then he looked like an ass and calmed down himself) "Even this bedroom, my side is immaculate and your side is a cluster fuck!" (Part of me wanted to tell him that he only "visits" while i acutally live there, but I restrained) "If this shit doesn't get picked up, I am calling and having a dumpster dropped off and anything on the floor, whether yours or mine, is getting pitched."
At this point, I threw my book onto the floor, it bounced, and I walked out of the bedroom slamming the door behind me. I went into the office and started throwing my shit away. I knew what to keep and what not to, but I was so mad at him (he almost paraphrased my father word for word) that I needed to get away. I don't like being threatened. Whether it was actually a threat or he was saying it to get me mad, its NOT cool. He has never done this before, so I knew that he was mad. I turned music on and made it loud so that I could drown out my thoughts. Eventually the door opened and he stood in the office doorway. I turned around and said "WHAT?!" in a very, very angry voice. He just closed the door and walked out. At 1:30am I stopped (cus I was done) and went to bed.
The next morning I finished unpacking/sorting/throwing out all the boxes that were mine in the house. I refused to touch his boxes cus they were his responsibility. He did do his stuff, taking longer than I had. When he left to go back to Alabama, he left all his coats on the spare bed, and empty boxes and shit he was keeping on the office bed. I then decided (since I have no work this week) to start prepping the walls in our kitchen for paint. We have stupid panel walls with that strip between the panels that sticks out an inch past the walls. I have to tear that off, fill it, sand it, then prep it. I told him that I was going to get the stuff to fill the holes in the wall and such. He told me "finish the end tables first" well no shit Sherlock! Those are almost done and they will get done. then he goes on "you need to do the coffee table too" Listen asshole we don't have room in our living room for the damned coffee table now that you have a recliner! Then he goes on to tell me that I can clean off the two beds in the spare rooms (which is all his shit) clean up my side of the bedroom, clean the bathroom, dust blah blah blah.

Now I dont know about some of you ladies but there is a time when you want to clean and then there's a time when you want to make something your own. I wanted to take time and make the house feel more homey and that way i could look at a piece of furniture or the walls and know that I DID IT. Cleaning is a bitch and the house is clean. But his mother is the type of person where there wouldn't be a speck of dust on anything. IM NOT HIS MOTHER, IM NOT HIS MAID. I refuse to clean off the beds just cus it is his stuff. If there is something of mine on there I will pick it up but I will leave all his shit. My way of rebelling I guess. Tahnks for the rant

[Azurin Luna]

That's just stupid :( He could just have asked you to clean your side of the bedroom, if it was needed, and not yell at you like that. But yeah, people who work at the office vs people working like freelancers can get clashes like this. As the office people think that the freelancers when they wait for a new gig to do, can do house keeping, especially in low times. It still doesn't make it fair though.
I hope he has calmed down the next time he gets home, maybe he had a stresful week?
But indeed as you said, I would leave his stuff alone and clean up your own stuff so that he can't be angry about your stuff anymore.

[Mer_Adella]

@ Azurin Luna :
thanks for seeing what I saw lol. I think if I do clean it will be things I want ya know? Like my clothes in the bedroom (he has more clothes than me but for 5 years before he met me he lived on the road in hotels so when he needed clothes he just bought more) so i have one dresser and the closet and they are both full. so it makes it hard. i think i might clear out my closet and give some to charity.

for this next rant....i have a reoccurring dream that my bf cheats...well ok...in the dream i never see him cheat its just an underlying feeling...with his friends daughter. Last night I had it cus I am still sore at him. In my dream last night, i was playing cards at the table with our friends and was winning. I made a bet with someone about their garage roof (dont ask me why). I won and turned around to look at my BF and he had his arm around this girl. He looked at me almost daring me to say something. I got up and grabbed a beer and walked outside very pissed off. He came outside but I avoided him and he ignored me in return, all the while he was chatting happily with his friends and this girl was hanging on him.

This dream bugs me cus I KNOW the daughter he was hanging on bugs me in real life. She hates me in real life because she has a crush on my BF. She is nice to me when he is around but can be a real bitch when he is not. So that was why she was in it, just to piss me off (lol). I looked it up in dreamology and it says that a cheating BF in a dream basically means that you worry about him leaving, fearing that he will leave, or that it happened to you in the past and hence the guy your dating now will do the same thing. I have told him about the dream, not telling him who the girl was just because ...well...i dont know really why. I don't exactly want to tell him cus its kind of stupid. But I have had BF's cheat on me in the past and it never feels good.

Now...some might say "well how do you KNOW he isn't cheating on you? He works on the road..." well we have been together for 4 years and he bought a house so that when he came home...he was coming home to me. I mean come on...lol...4 years of where he was on the road for work and nothing has happened. Plus he is the kind of guy that if he did cheat, he would call his mom to see what he should do (he can't hold guilt in) and she would call me. Sounds wrong, but you understand that he can't keep guilt inside him. I've been pissy with him through text messages for the last few days and it was because i kept having that dream. so finally this morning I told him why. He said that he KNEW something was up and knew that eventually I would break down and tell him. But he also said that it was a weird dream indeed because I knew he wouldn't cheat, he knew I wouldn't cheat, so he kinda hates my subconscious right now LOL. Anyways thanks for letting me rant about that...it just pisses me off cus I dont like that dream and I have had it since Wednesday.

[sunrise]

I do the same thing with nail polish. :/ Also, I can't really stand to have stuff like that on me, which just makes it all the more tempting to scrape it off. I have some nail polish, one I got to try and stop myself from biting four years ago, and the rest I've just accumulated from friends and birthday parties, but because I'll just get annoyed with it in a few hours tops, I don't bother putting any on.

I actually haven't bitten my nails all week! I did end up catching myself starting to, but I made myself stop. I've been playing with that ball of modeling clay all week at home to keep my hands busy. I've noticed that since starting to doodle in class more, it's been easier to keep myself from biting, especially in English, so I think my nail biting is somewhat to do with boredom and lack of stimulation. I can see that my nails are growing now, which makes me really happy. I'm going to keep my nails short (to my sister's perspective, not mine.), so around the fingertip, once they've grown more, because any more than that might make it too hard to keep from biting them.

[Gem Stone]

OK, I make my own tails, and they turn out great. so yeah, when someone said they'd pay for to make them a spandex tail, I said sure. problem was, when she showed me the tail she wanted me to make, it was a silicone raven tail! she wants me to recreate a Raven tail on spandex?! but I already said yes, so now I've got to remake a raven tail. thank goodness she chose one that's not all that difficult to paint, I hope. but what tail maker beginner tail maker gets asked to do a Raven tail design?! it's just so frustrating! OK, rant over. thanks for listening

[PearlieMae]

OK, I make my own tails, and they turn out great. so yeah, when someone said they'd pay for to make them a spandex tail, I said sure. problem was, when she showed me the tail she wanted me to make, it was a silicone raven tail! she wants me to recreate a Raven tail on spandex?! but I already said yes, so now I've got to remake a raven tail. thank goodness she chose one that's not all that difficult to paint, I hope. but what tail maker beginner tail maker gets asked to do a Raven tail design?! it's just so frustrating! OK, rant over. thanks for listening

Then you be sure to point out that you will be doing a fabric version of said tail and that there will be madore differences in the two. If she wants a Raven tail, then she can shell out a couple of grand up front and wait a year.

[Gem Stone]

^ she knows. but I just freaked out when she told me which tail she wanted me to base her tail off. I mean, who wants to compare their tail to a Raven tail? this is the first tail I'm making for someone else, and it has to be a remix of Ravens?

[Seatan]

I am so depressed. My engagement to the man I loved was broken off almost a year ago, and I have been dreaming of him. In my dream I call him and tell him that I needed to know how he is doing so I can have some closure and stop dreaming about him (yes, I dream a way to stop dreaming about him., lol!). Tell me, do you guys think I should do as my dream suggests? At night I always get up the courage, but when I sm awake I am too afraid. We broke up just three months before the wedding after a lot of stress from his mother (who did not want him to have a wife) and him basically being unsure. I told him he needed to decide what he really wanted and he said that "I want to marry you, just not right now". I decided that was not good enough, not with the dress bought and the save the date cards sent... So we broke up. But I still miss him and it is showing in my dreams!! Any advice?

[SeaGlass Siren]

Some guy I used to know an who was close to has been in my dreams for 7years. Recurring dreams suck. It's your way of telling you that you need closure. Try calling him up and get closure that way.

[Amphitrite]

HATERS SUCK! And they make EVERYTHING unfun and sucky. >.< :mad:

[Mermaid Kelda]

I am so depressed. My engagement to the man I loved was broken off almost a year ago, and I have been dreaming of him. In my dream I call him and tell him that I needed to know how he is doing so I can have some closure and stop dreaming about him (yes, I dream a way to stop dreaming about him., lol!). Tell me, do you guys think I should do as my dream suggests? At night I always get up the courage, but when I sm awake I am too afraid. We broke up just three months before the wedding after a lot of stress from his mother (who did not want him to have a wife) and him basically being unsure. I told him he needed to decide what he really wanted and he said that "I want to marry you, just not right now". I decided that was not good enough, not with the dress bought and the save the date cards sent... So we broke up. But I still miss him and it is showing in my dreams!! Any advice?
For sure, I'd say get back in contact with him. I keep in contact with all of my exes! Even if you don't get back together, clearly you two suited each other and could be great friends :)

[PearlieMae]

I've been thinking about this and without tons of backstory, it's hard to comment.

That being said, here's an observation...You might be able to remain friends, but someone who chooses his mother over you will ALWAYS choose his mother over you, until she dies. Then, he will want you to be his mother.

Been there, done that.

Contact him? Personally, I would not.

[Mer_Adella]

My mother-in-law (techincally bf's mother but we plan on getting married so she will be that one day) is very materialistic. I mean I like gifts that really touch peoples hearts. I don't like to see people cry over a present...but to me its much more statisfying to make something that is significant to someone else. Last christmas, My MIL (mother-in-law) bought my bf an ipad and bought me a Coach purse. Let me explain something. I shop at walmart. I get hand me down purses from my mom (they might be leather, but she bought them, got a new one and gave me the old one that still is in good shape) HELL sometimes I see a cute purse at the dollar store and buy it! I go for more of the look and my budget than something that is "in style"

We have Christmas with his parents at his sisters in Ohio this upcoming weekend. My bf and I as well as his sister and husband went in together and bought the parents a new grill. I decided to make a family tree for each of his parents. Its touching, it has everyone on there and as a plus there is enough room that when someone gets married or has a child, I can add another tag onto it. I am so worried that she will look down her nose on it because it isn't to her materialistic standards. This is the first year we are having Christmas some where else besides her house. (She has a huge 3,000sqft house that is decorated from top to bottom for Christmas) She even went as far to tell my bf that they will have Christmas at our house once we are married and legal. That's the type of person she is. She's even gone as far as had a conversation with me about her niece that got pregnant at 15, dumped the boyfriend (because he wanted her to give the baby up for adoption) and decided to be a single parent. She was appalled and then told me that if her son and I got pregnant it wouldn't be technically her grandchild because we weren't married. [ this is just to give you an idea of whom she really is] Don't get me wrong, she can be very nice and very sweet. But she scares me because of how she acts. I am the person that I have NEVER had a problem of keeping my mouth shut. If i see you acting up (no matter the age) I will tell you exactly what I think. But I don't want to make her hate me like she did when her son and I started dating. [she also tried telling her son that while at his sister's house this weekend we shouldn't sleep together because it would show our nephew that its ok to sleep together though you aren't married to someone, BTW he's three. He told her that we have been dating for 4 years, sleeping in the same bed the whole time, and living together for a year and a half...if she wanted to tell us how to sleep, we wouldn't be coming and a little info...i'm 24 and he's 28]

Anyone have any advice on how to make this Christmas go smoothly?

[Echidna]

well, that's a tough one.
Family and in-laws are the one thing you cannot choose.

I find your present very apt and sweet.
Materialistic thoughts have NO place in a celebration, whether it be Christmas, Yule, or whatever.
Over the years, I've had a tough time to persuade my parents to not buy any presents.
Only what's in the heart counts.
Nowadays, we make practical things ourselves, but old traditions are hard to break, and people who expect bought presents ("please not the most inexpensive one!!" was what one in-law said when telling us what her kid wanted for their birthday) will likely not change.

To make your stay go smoothly, I can only advise you to not pick a fight by telling them what you really think (also about the sleeping/marriage thing).
You have your values and opinions, and they have theirs.
It probably won't kill you to sleep in a different room for a few days, if that is what she expects.
It's their house after all.
You might not agree with them, but you could make a show of good-will and respect their rules.

It's probably the best thing you can do if you want to have a friendly relationship in the future.

[Echinacea]

My husband and I joke about that being the main reason we got married - to simplify the sleeping arrangements! How big is his sister's house? Will there be enough room for you to sleep in a separate bed/bedroom? Possibly call his sister, and talk to her about the sleeping arrangements, explaining that you don't want to cause any drama/discomfort, that you know that their mother does not want you and your bf sharing a bed 'in public' and what are the options. Would it be possible to share a room, but maybe put a cot in there or an air bed or something, so you can at least make it *look* like you are not sleeping in the same bed?

[Mer_Adella]

His sister doesn't care. its at her house anyways and not at his mom's. She told me just to bring our queen sized air mattress and we can sleep in the theater room in the basement. Honestly, I would rather not give into her wishes of sleeping seperatly anyways. I am not someone that she can push around. Maybe that's just me because I am stubborn. But she has this way about her where she pushes people to do what she wants. Whether it's against their beliefs or not. Instead of asking, she tells you. I hate it. My bf even says not to listen to her and that he will tell her what is going to happen.

[PearlieMae]

The hell with her. You aren't marrying her.

Give her a card that says a donation to Greenpeace has been made in her name in for Xmas. Stay at the sister's, smile at your in-laws and be polite, drink enough to take off the edge (if you drink) but not enough to get mouthy, bang your boyfriend loudly in the bathroom right before you leave. Leave as soon as possible.

Next year, have a Wiccan Yule celebration at your place, invite the in-laws and be sure to tell them the Yule ceremony is held in the nude.

But don't listen to me. I'm cuckoo. :D

[Jessica]

The hell with her. You aren't marrying her.

Give her a card that says a donation to Greenpeace has been made in her name in for Xmas. Stay at the sister's, smile at your in-laws and be polite, drink enough to take off the edge (if you drink) but not enough to get mouthy, bang your boyfriend loudly in the bathroom right before you leave. Leave as soon as possible.

Next year, have a Wiccan Yule celebration at your place, invite the in-laws and be sure to tell them the Yule ceremony is held in the nude.

But don't listen to me. I'm cuckoo. :D

^^^:lol: You are so funny pearlie!

Adella, good luck! Inlaws are tough to deal with! It's Christmas so do your best to get along, but if she starts to be rude or tell you how to live your life (or where to sleep) politely thank her for her input/concern, but firmly say that you are both adults and can make your own decisions. If she starts lecturing you about setting a bad example for little kids, tell her that since it bothers her so much you are happy to have a talk with the children about sex and only having sex in a committed, loving relationship. If that doesn't stop her in her tracks, nothing will!

Why don't you just get a hotel room? You would have the space you need and could avoid the whole sleeping arrangement issue.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Pearlie id listen xD!!!

[Echidna]

Next year, have a Wiccan Yule celebration at your place, invite the in-laws and be sure to tell them the Yule ceremony is held in the nude.


Actually, I like this advice more than my own.
It's a lot more fun too, if you can live with the consequences lol.

[Mer_Adella]

The hell with her. You aren't marrying her.

Give her a card that says a donation to Greenpeace has been made in her name in for Xmas. Stay at the sister's, smile at your in-laws and be polite, drink enough to take off the edge (if you drink) but not enough to get mouthy, bang your boyfriend loudly in the bathroom right before you leave. Leave as soon as possible.

Next year, have a Wiccan Yule celebration at your place, invite the in-laws and be sure to tell them the Yule ceremony is held in the nude.

But don't listen to me. I'm cuckoo. :D

OMG....LAUGHING....SO ....HARD!!!! thank you for that PearlieMae.....and I don't drink hard liquor much but i thought about buy some of those small bottles of rum just to mix at night. but thank you for making me laugh.

Jessica, thanks for the suggestion. I will take that advice for sure! We don't want to rent a hotel room because we don't get to see our nephew or his sister very much anyways.

[Seatan]

I've been thinking about this and without tons of backstory, it's hard to comment.

That being said, here's an observation...You might be able to remain friends, but someone who chooses his mother over you will ALWAYS choose his mother over you, until she dies. Then, he will want you to be his mother.

Been there, done that.

Contact him? Personally, I would not.

ive been thinking and I have decided you are right, Pearlie. Everyone says that ending it was the right thing to do and that it was better to know about his inmaturity with his mother before we actually got married instead of suffering through years since we were both strongly Christian and believe that divorce should be saved for an absolute worst case after you have done everything to try and mend it (unless, of course, there is abuse, in that case I firmly believe Christ's response is "get out of there NOW!"). So there probably would have been major problems and grief. I just loved him so much, and I wish it had worked out. Consciously I have moved on, but deep down inside I know if he appeared and begged forgiveness, I would take him back. It's given me a glimmer of understanding as to why women who ARE abused take those men back, though he only hurt me in a "I lost my love" sort of way. You want to believe that someone can fix themselves if you love them. I think I will refrain from contacting him, but it still hurts.

[PearlieMae]

Oh, I know it still hurts, and it will for a while...but eventually, you will realize it was the right choice. You will be suprised at your own inner strength.

Then, when you least expect it, someone incredibly fascinating will appear, and you will be glad you are not tethered to a relationship that could have been less than optimal.

[Thalassa]

Okay...the in laws thing, I'm sorry Adella but it seems like you're not interested in making things go smoothly. You're interested in soothing your pride and tips on how to try to force your in laws to accept your view of morality. It's a few days, maybe a couple of weeks to put up with the situation, but you don't want to "give in." This will not help things go smoothly. Now, as others have said you're not marrying the in-laws and you have the right to your own choices. But they also have the right to believe those choices are wrong, and trying to force them to accept your morality is the quickest way to alienate them.

So decide which is more important: keeping to your moral pride or making things go smoothly with the in-laws. Just don't say that you have done your best to make things go smoothly if you choose the former.

Unrelated rant: I am sick of people who make stupid choices and then whine on and on about how hard it makes their life. I can't tell them not to make those choices or I'm branded as a moral snob, but I'm expected to sympathize as they complain about how hard their life is. I've got a solution: straighten up! Stop clinging to your "freedom" and filling my feeds with how hung over you are, what you stupidly did while you were drunk and now regret, sappy you're-so-hot posts followed an hour later by I-hate-you sex regret posts, and I-hope-I'm-not-pregnant posts. Stop messaging me telling me I have life so easy. I haven't told you this: my life ain't a bed of roses, but it's easier than yours because I haven't made the stupid choices! And yeah, it's made harder by idiots that try to "free" me into sharing their misery. No, thank you!

[Merman Dan]

I hope I'm not pregnant. :lol:

[Thalassa]

Lol! I hope not, too, Dan! Cuz that could get awkward...XD

[Mermaid Oshun]

do you know who the father might be Dan?

[Spindrift]

She was appalled and then told me that if her son and I got pregnant it wouldn't be technically her grandchild because we weren't married. [ this is just to give you an idea of whom she really is]

Wait, how would she not be a grandmother? If you guys had a kid and she was the mother of your boyfriend, kid is still going to go underneath you two on a lineage tree with her above your boyfriend. That makes the kid her grandkid, marriage or not. Genetics doesn't care if you have a marriage license.

Also I think it's weird to look down at a gift just because it wasn't your style. There's nothing wrong with having nice things, and she thought of you before buying something expensive. And your gift is fine. You said you also bought them a grill too, right? That + the lineage thing is a great gift. And you could always just spend more time with her. Take her out on an outing, watch a movie or take her out to get food somewhere. It's not that hard to make a gift personable. She knows you're young and stuff and probably doesn't have as much money as her. It's not like she's going to have huge expectations. What's the worst that she will do about it? Bitch to your boyfriend's father? It sounds like you're really intimidated by her. I do think you're over thinking it. You're not contemplating changing the gift, right? If you've already decided that is what you are going to give her, then there's nothing you're going to do about it anyway.

[Merman Dan]

Lol! I hope not, too, Dan! Cuz that could get awkward...XD


do you know who the father might be Dan?

As I have seven kids, I do often refer to myself as a papa seahorse. :)

[Elle]

have your sister in law make it so you can't possibly sleep anywhere else. Then there is no choice but for you to sleep in the same bed!
alternatively you can try to divert the question i.e
"I understand you concerns/thinking/crazy talk about your son and I having shared sleeping arrangements. But I don't see this as an appropriate time to talk about such issues."

you could also add something along the lines of "Besides we were at it like rabbits before we came here, so I'm all worn out now anyway" if you're brave enough to add that in :)

[Mer_Adella]

Okay...I am back from Ohio and his family christmas....a day early. It was good for the first two days, but Sunday shit hit the fan.

Our dog is a black and tan coonhound she is going to be 2 years old next may. She is well trained. I got her and trained her myself. She knows how to sit, shake (with both paws) lay down, roll over, and we are working on "stay" and "come". I mean...come on...she is a coonhound! When they catch a scent of something, they aren't going to follow commands very easily. Lol

Well she [Daisy] was lying on the floor in the living room chewing on her rawhide bone. She had been doing so for an hour and all throughout breakfast. She was very quiet and content. I took the opportunity to go upstairs and take a shower. As I got out I heard growling, snapping, and the carrying on of dogs fighting. Then my boyfriends mother was yelling and I heard her say "Bad dog, Daisy, get your ass in the kitchen!" And my dog yelped as it was hit on the ass [my bf told me this later]. I got dressed and stayed upstairs, because I KNEW that if I went down to see what went on, I probably would have said things that wouldn't have been good. My bf's cellphone started ringing while I was getting dressed, but I missed answering it. So I took it and went downstairs to find him. He was just coming in from smoking and I handed the phone to him.

I went outside to smoke and called my mom and was talking to her about what was going on. After I was done, I went in and his sister, her husband, his nephew, and his mom were walking outside to play in the snow. I went upstairs and saw that my bf was sitting on the hide-a-bed couch (which had been pulled out as our bed only 10 min before) and our blankets, bags and pillows were packed and stacked up.

He got off the phone, told me that he would explain in the car, and we packed up. We were supposed to go on the "polar express train ride" that night with everyone for his nephew. So when he told everyone we were leaving because the roads by our house were dangerous now and wouldn't get better (we had a 4.5 hr drive) his mom exploded and said she had paid $40/person for the train tickets and it was wasted now. My bf took $80 out of his wallet and handed it to his mom, who wasn't happy. He said goodbye to his nephew and explained that we had to get home because the roads weren't safe. His 3 year old nephew said he understood told us to drive safe and he loved us.

As soon as we got into the car he turned to me and said "We are leaving because my mom is a c**t" (i know this is very harsh language to my ears and most of yours, but understand that he doesn't use that word EVER...that tells you how mad he was)

WHAT HAD HAPPENED:
(i was told this by my bf as he was there)

Our dog daisy was chewing on her bone, and his sister's dog Abby [a golden retriver that is 7] decided that she was going to get my dogs bone. So she attacked our dog, snarling, jumping on her, and barking, baring her teeth. She never actually bit our dog and ours never bit theirs. But if any of you have seen two dogs fight over a toy or food, you know that it sounds dangerous, but no blood or fur was lost. My dog backed away because she didn't know what was going on. His mother was yelling at them but then she yelled at my dog and slapped her hard on the ass.
She then turned to my bf and said "You need to train your dog better and [Adella] needs to teach her not to be so food agressive!" (remember my dog was the one that was chewing on the bone, his sisters dog was the one who wanted the bone)
He replied, "My dog didn't do shit, it was Abby that started it."
She replied, "You are a guest in this house, you and your dog need to remember and respect that. If she can't behave then she shouldn't come."
His sister said "I told [Adella] that bone would be a problem."
He replied "You did tell her that, but nothing had happened until now. They fought once for it and everyone acts as if it has been going on all fucking weekend. No dog was hurt what is the fucking deal?"
his mom: "You are a guest, start fucking acting like it! This isn't your house! You would be upset too if this happened at your house!"
my bf: "Well i am done being a fucking guest. And besides if this happened at our house, I would be upset, but I would yell at the dog that started it and then tell the owner to get the fuck out. Besides mom, you need to act like a guest. It didn't bother you when your dog pissed on the couch last night and yet my dog is food agressive when I can take her bone and food away from her. fuck off"

i didn't know any of this went on because I was upstairs but I was so upset in the car when he was telling me I was crying. It was as if she was telling me and my bf we were bad parents. Part of me wished that I did go downstairs just so I could have told her off. No one wants to be told that they raised a pet or child wrong. And I take high offense at it. My dog is not food aggressive. I trained her to back up and sit down when I stick my hand in her bowl! I'm trying not to dwell on it or anything, but I can't help but be upset. She has always found fault with me, and has since moved on from that, and onto my dog!

[Aziara]

I get where you are right now... My mother tends to act a bit like that sometimes. Some people are just IMPOSSIBLE to please. I just had to come to the realization that I don't have a problem, she does. It sounds like you did your part in attempting to keep things civil between you and her. At times, I actually pity my mother. It must be difficult going through life constantly being angry or sad.

[Mer_Adella]

No one complained about the sleeping arrangements either. BTW. The sister, mother and I all sat and watched "love actually" while we knitted or crocheted. Nothing rude was said. We talked, had fun, got caught up on our lives (as the sister lives in ohio, the mother in mi and my bf and i three hours from the mother). it was a nice time. i didn't act up like some thought i would or in not so many terms. I am a little intimidated by the mother just because I dont want to say anything that would upset our relationship. No one wants the mother-in-law that hates you. It was an all around good time, before the dog thing.

I dont make it my obligation to make sure that she likes me 100%. I could care less, i am just not going to fight with her about stupid things. But you tell me that I am training/raising my dog wrong, I take offense at that. Yet I chose not to say anything. Had I witnessed it with my bf and saw how upset he was, I might have put my two-cents in but since that is neither here nor there, it doesn't matter.

I just wanted people to understand that I am not going to overly object to what the mother/sister says and argue with them and think that I am right in all regards. I understand that they have their own opinions. I guess its just a little hard to describe it over the internet. I am just a person that thinks that when you are over the age of 18, are practically sound in your ways of thinking and maturity (which doesn't hit until a few years AFTER 18 for some people lol) that an adult could "advise" you on what you should/could do....not tell you that is what you have to do. I am an independent person. If you would like me to do something, please ask. Weren't we taught that as children? when we wanted something, we had to ask and say please?

( I watched that happen this past weekend too. The mother's grandson would want something and she would tell him that he needed to ask and say please. He would ask with a please at the end and would get it. Then the mother would turn around to my bf and say "you need to clean this table off so we can have dinner now." in a stern, don't argue with me tone. And my bf started laughing and told his mom to ask and say please at the end [his nephew was watching ] and his mother got pissed cus he told her to ask as say please. she yelled at him and turned around and knocked her grandson to the floor because she didn't know he was right behind her.)

Anyways I guess I will shut up now.

[PearlieMae]

She sounds like a real peach.

Control freaks like that will never be happy, no matter how hard you try.

Good luck!

[SeaGlass Siren]

A peach? More like a beach. 0-0 a big fat beach.

[AniaR]

ahahah beach.

My bitch: pain and illness. booo

[Echidna]

Oh yes, those suck so much.
You can't even kill them :/

My life divides nicely in two halves;
BTB (before tickbite), and ATB (after tb).

During some times, I debate whether ATB can even be called "life" :p
And man, was stuff easy before.
18 hour shifts, no food, no sleep, freezing cold, lots of stress, used to be no problem at all.
Meh.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Caltuna, my mum's the same way - after she got some Rickettsia from a tick, she hasn't felt quite the same. Not as bad as you I don't think, but she can "feel" every breath, as if hair was tickling her throat, which sounds awfully irritating if not actually debilitating.

[Echidna]

yep, ticks can carry a buttload of stuff- from a mixture of vile bacteria to deadly viruses.

It's why I'm quite unhappy we have a garden that needs frequent work, it's hellishly dangerous,
and some ticks are so small you can only identify them with a magnifying glass to boot :p

[spottedcatfish]

I've been trying to keep this from bothering me for the past two weeks and dealing with the pain the best I can but I have a broken ankle and It happened right around finals!!! Now I've gotten to wits end...I want this to end and be able to stand up and walk like I normal!! Getting around and doing anything is HARD!!! ARRGH!!! I also had to postpone a vacation I had planned for Christmas!! Life Is Not FUN right now... I want this to be over. Finals have been driving me CRAZY TOO!!! :crazy::mad::mad::mad::sad eyes::sad eyes::anger explode::soap box::gah::cthulhu::shark: (Having fun with the emoticons... my life has become a disaster. I can"t wait till this is over!!!)

[sunrise]

I think I may have missed two doses of my morning meds, one yesterday, one today, but I can't be sure, because on Saturday night, I was so tired (I thought I was tired before these meds, but now, oh man..) that I only put one pill in each box for a medication I take two a day of- one in the morning, and one at night. So, when I checked it, it looked like I'd taken my medication, but I can't really be sure. I'm really sick of this, but I guess the new stuff is working,since I haven't had a seizure in a month. But that could just mean I'll have one during finals, or after finals, at my middle school when my mom is watching me, or even on Sunday, when we're all at my Grama's for Christmas two days early. I really don't want to fall on a five year old, or on my grandma (again). I'm glad I'm not having them every two weeks, but I really wish I could just get it over with.

To clarify, my seizures are usually two weeks to a month apart, which is why this week is stressful.

[Seatan]

Oh my gosh, someone on Facebook will not stop whining that she and I have an identical tail design based on a sketch she sent Finfolk a LONG time ago (so, obviously, they must have stolen it). She decided her idea was stolen based upon this sketch made by Finfolk:

16468

Because that sketch has SO many details, right? Heck, she even deleted a comment she made before the Sneak Peek of my tail where the colors were shown, where she has stated her design was blue and red, while mine is obviously seafoam and blue and pink and purple. Because then, you know, it wouldn't be an EXACT copy. *rolls eyes* I am trying to enjoy the making of my freakin' tail. Please stop TROLLING the Finfolk page all upset because you also want a tail with tentacles. Lots of sea animals have tentacles--that doesn't mean I am STEALING your idea, just because you thought "hey, I want tentacles on a tail", too. Of course this is all hidden beneath "hahahaha, I guess we have absolutelu 100% identical tail designs, what a coincidence when I sent my design so LONG ago before you did and was completely ignored *gigglegiggle*".

QUIT WITH THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE CRAP AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL. I HATE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS!!!!!

Okay, I feel better now.

[New York Mermaid]

Im highly upset, apparently there is something im eating that is making me break out in serious hives. this has been happening for a week now. I've been trying to figure it out and even gone as far as not eating those things, but its come to the point that even drinking soy milk is giving me hives. But Tomorrow I have an allergy test. Im severely terrified I don't like needles and Im not looking forward to what's happening tomorrow. I know im allergic to corn and some heavy spices (jalapenos, and red peppers) (and Oh the irony my allergist doctor is named- Dr. CORN!) so please keep me in your thoughts. I just want to stop breaking out into hives already Im on Benadryl, zertec and using calamine lotion to at least calm the itch. (which helps) bit hopefully we can figure this out before I swim off to Merfest.

[Seatan]

Oh my gosh, that SUCKS. That started happening to me once and I never did figure out why... It went on for about a month then disappeared. I know how ya feel about the needles. They're never fun. Hopefully the ends will be worth the means, though!

[New York Mermaid]

So blood work and 14 pricks in the arm later.. I feel like minced meat. Next week I have to get one of the larger hives biopsied (more needles, :shark: )I've have been breaking out into hives for about 7 weeks now and zyrtec and Benadryl isn't helping, which is why I had no choice here. my entire right arm is super sore. Goodness I hope its worth the pain. But thanks, it just sux

[deepblue]

I had similar, turned out I was accidentally ODing on B12. If you were to look it up, you'll find conflicting info- a lot of people saying you can't OD on B12. But I get OD reactions to things by taking 1/4 lowest doses of various meds and such, so I think sometimes, people can be sensitive. I was accidentally getting something like 400% RDA, and when I stopped, it took a couple weeks but it basically went away. I had every freaking symptom of the OD. It was HORRID.

So this is not entirely a bitch but a mild complaint: Been looking for pics of holiday theme mers and have come up with very little. I found some mers decorating an underwater tree, and that WOULD have been cute but for the goggles. I know they're necessary for some, but I prefer no goggles on images for things like a FB cover photo.

So next year, could some of the mers here maybe do some adorable Santa-hat wearing underwater shots? :) I'll totally put you on my FB cover photo. :D

[SeaGlass Siren]

I Wang to decorate or make a shell tree when I move out. Mom says I can't use her tree :|

[Blondie]

Lanai,
I had this happen to me two years ago. They could not figure out what was making me break out in hives. It wasn't food, it wasn't my detergent, make up, perfume, and so on and so on... I had huge hives that would cover me all over. It looked like I was attacked by a herd of mosquitos. Finally, after two weeks they faded. (Then I broke out in a drug related rash from a med, but that's another story). However, doctors deemed it to be a stress reaction. I argued with them saying I wasn't stressed. But now when I do get stressed I get hives. But only when it's something super serious. The last time I broke out in hives was when I got in a small accident (it was my first) which was over a year ago.

But we did find out that I had a hemorrhage in my thyroid the following year. Apparently the extra Thyroglobulin was making me get hives. I highly recommend seeing an endocrinologist or ask your doctor about your thyroid levels.

[AniaR]

It can be autoimmune. Speaking of which I am so tired of hurting
A month of this shit is too much

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[Seatan]

This seems like the month of hurt. My best friend has been bed ridden for over two years with an illness that they can't figure out and she's had a LOT of pain problems this month. As she describes her life: #foreversick I feel for everyone out there who has to deal with this kind of thing, especially during a season where you're supposed to be so happy.

[Merman Dan]

I assume she's been tested or lyme?

[Echidna]

I assume she's been tested on lyme?

was thinking the same.
it's one of the few things that can lead to people languishing in bed for decades, without the docs having any clue on what's going on :/

I hope for her sake, that it's something else that can be cured.

[New York Mermaid]

Lanai,
I had this happen to me two years ago. They could not figure out what was making me break out in hives. It wasn't food, it wasn't my detergent, make up, perfume, and so on and so on... I had huge hives that would cover me all over. It looked like I was attacked by a herd of mosquitos. Finally, after two weeks they faded. (Then I broke out in a drug related rash from a med, but that's another story). However, doctors deemed it to be a stress reaction. I argued with them saying I wasn't stressed. But now when I do get stressed I get hives. But only when it's something super serious. The last time I broke out in hives was when I got in a small accident (it was my first) which was over a year ago.

But we did find out that I had a hemorrhage in my thyroid the following year. Apparently the extra Thyroglobulin was making me get hives. I highly recommend seeing an endocrinologist or ask your doctor about your thyroid levels.

After al this testing and stuff I get my results back, Im allergic to Dust, Mold, Bugs, pet dander (dog) and Soil. in a few days I get my food allergy test. today I went all neurotic and scrubbed everything in my house from top to bottom and did laundry (I only use dreft, my skin is sensitive). My thyroid results came back just a slight bit off which also is a trigger for hives. So far the meds doc prescribed (high dose of antihistamines) is helping, no itching but the occasional hive. Thursday im dreading but they need to make sure nothing else is in my system.

[AniaR]

this month is seriously killing me. I already have autoimmune disorder, and I started out the month with a mega chest/throat infection. It lasted almost 3 weeks. Then I got an ear infection, then I had an endometriosis attack, and then on Christmas day I got norovirus. I also have chronic pain and when I get sick like this my joints lock up so my hips and legs are in mega pain. I have been in and out of the hospital and am now lined up to have a surgery. I can't remember the last time I'd been so sick, and I basically skipped christmas :( I try reallllly hard to be positive. But holy crap I'm tired of chronic illness and pain

[Thalassa]

I am so sorry, Raina! Sending prayers and positive wishes your way, I hope you get feeling okay soon! :-(

[deepblue]

After al this testing and stuff I get my results back, Im allergic to Dust, Mold, Bugs, pet dander (dog) and Soil. in a few days I get my food allergy test. today I went all neurotic and scrubbed everything in my house from top to bottom and did laundry (I only use dreft, my skin is sensitive). My thyroid results came back just a slight bit off which also is a trigger for hives. So far the meds doc prescribed (high dose of antihistamines) is helping, no itching but the occasional hive. Thursday im dreading but they need to make sure nothing else is in my system.

I'm also allergic to dust, mold, many insects (it's their dust, really, for me) and a few other things. Detergent also makes my skin go nuts, but Dreft actually made my skin worse. It leaves a coating on clothes. What I find works is any brand of natural (or more natural) laundry detergent for sensitive skin and unscented.

But Dreft, man... that stuff makes me break out in hives.

[Mermaid Oshun]

You are in my prayers Raina

[Merman Arion]

this month is seriously killing me. I already have autoimmune disorder, and I started out the month with a mega chest/throat infection. It lasted almost 3 weeks. Then I got an ear infection, then I had an endometriosis attack, and then on Christmas day I got norovirus. I also have chronic pain and when I get sick like this my joints lock up so my hips and legs are in mega pain. I have been in and out of the hospital and am now lined up to have a surgery. I can't remember the last time I'd been so sick, and I basically skipped christmas :( I try reallllly hard to be positive. But holy crap I'm tired of chronic illness and pain

It hurts me deeply to know that you are in so much pain and there is so little that we can do for you... It's so frustrating and i'm really sad that your condition made you skipping Christmas. I really hope and i will pray that you will get better for NCMerfest.
Raina, you are the strongest girl that i know. I really admire that.

*sending you positive vibes from France*

[Marlin]

@ Raina- Norovirus is a tough one... While I was still at the Air Force Academy- about 2000 of my fellow cadets came down with it and we had to quarantine entire squadrons.

Sorry to hear you are so down- sending prayers and happy thoughts your way! :)

@ deepblue- I have the same issue with detergent- have you tried the free and clear stuff? It has made pants much more bearable for me.

[Miyu]

I am uber-sensitive to detergent (among many, many other things) as well. I've found that the various brands' "free and clear" detergents work better than regular detergent for me. Not the baby detergent, though, because I think that has something I'm allergic to in it.

At any rate, I've found that adding a bit of either baking soda or vinegar to the wash with regular detergent helps. I also use what is probably FAR less detergent in my wash than most people... I've washed clothes by hand on a wash board many times, and I can tell you that it's mostly the motion + a little soap that does the trick - too much soap and the darn clothes will NEVER BE CLEAN :P

To every mer having bad health right now: I am so sorry :( Sending positive healing vibes your way <3

[deepblue]

I do the same thing, Miyu- every now and then, no matter what detergent I use, I do a load with just baking soda. My daughter and I both have crazy-sensitive skin.

I'm going to bitch about Skype. Total first world problem, but because I don't have a cell phone, it's the best way for me stay in touch with a lot of people, and it didn't send me any msgs from 6:30 last night til noon today. I would upgrade to a paid acct but not with that kind of problem!


Raina- I hope your system gets back on track soon. :( I can't imagine trying to do gigs when you feel like crap and in that way.

[Merman Dan]

I am the same way. Plus I have to wash new things before I wear them or I get a rash.

[Mermaid Kelda]

I am so grateful I don't have any allergies. That just sucks so much and must be so much extra work :( sending my best wishes to you all! :hug:

[Mermaid Tula]

So stressed out. So my hubby's son is having some legal issues. I can't really go into it, other than charges are being pressed against a 10 year old. I just found out that my hubby's ex is now wanting to move out of state to one of the states that my hubby and I have thought about moving to. So my hubby let me know and pretty much told me that that's just another reason we need to move there. Right now, I'm not prepared to move, seeing as how I'm in college, my daughter just started school this year and her school is amazing. The biggest issue is that once his son is in a different state, it's going to be next to impossible for us to see him because I don't think our vehicle will make it, and I doubt my hubby's ex would be willing to drive even halfway to meet us. I'm so stressed about everything that's going on. I'm going to be starting up a new semester soon, my daughter still has the rest of the school year to go, plus I don't want to leave my family. I've been trying to start up a business with one of my friends who's more like my sister than anything. On top of that, I've already made a business relationship with a local guy who's working on building up an aquarium and I've been in talks with him about having mermaids swimming in the tanks. If we were to move (even if it's not right now), I would still be uprooting my whole life, my daughter's life just to move to a place that costs more, where I won't own my own house, where I won't have my family/friends, and there's no guarantees that everything would work out there. We've already been told by family how expensive it is compared to where we are now. Hubby's cousin has 3 jobs just to afford rent. How can we afford that when we're scraping by here now? I have no job, but I do get student loans (Yay debt.) and those help out a ton.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I just needed to get that out. Either that or I would probably break down in tears and hide in a corner.

Oh and I just found out that my hubby's ex and son (and rest of her family) are going to be leaving at the end of January.

Normally, I would suggest that he come stay with us, so he doesn't have to be uprooted from his school or anything, but due to the legal issues, that's not possible because for the time being, he cannot be around other kids.

Anyway. I'm done ranting for now. I just needed to get that off my chest.

[deepblue]

Tula, that sounds horrid. I hope whatever charges are being pressed really need to be- so often kids that age who do something which could create such a situation are really in need of help, and the system doesn't give it. I can understand your concerns with everything else, too. Even without the business aspect, you have the family connections and those are a big deal.

If you care to talk about what state you're looking at the possibility of ending up in, perhaps someone here can give you info about it. I (for instance) live in San Diego, and everyone thinks it's hella expensive here, but living in Portland, Oregon was far pricier because of seasons affecting everything from heating bills to extra wardrobe. You never can tell.

[Mermaid Tula]

What I can say about the charges is that they're going overboard. He's already on house arrest, in counseling , and is working things through. We're hoping for dropped charges.

It's Oregon. Portland or the surrounding area as far as I know.

[deepblue]

I personally found it too expensive to live in Portland- I can see your concern. But the surrounding areas might be cheaper, and they do have a lot more low income housing than many places if you can get on a wait list. I hope charges can be dropped if at all possible.. at that age, this can either set him on a new path and he can still be okay. So much hope and good thoughts to you guys, for what it's worth. Big hugs.

ps. A good thing about living in Oregon is the Faeryworlds event in Eugene. That is a blast and something positive. :)

[Mermaid Tula]

Yeah. At the moment, my rent is only 265 a month (lot rent since I own my trailer) so moving somewhere else is going to be a huge jump in price.
So I talked with my hubby and he was just having wishful thinking about moving. Luckily he realizes it's too expensive to move.

We're hoping for the best. It could go well and he'll be just fine and go on with his life, or it could completely ruin his life forever.

That sounds like fun, but I'd rather just visit for the events and conventions and faires. <3

Thanks Deep <3 I appreciate you talking with me about this <3

[deepblue]

I'm glad you have a place to vent it out.

And, yeah you won't find that rental price anywhere else! I don't even want to visit Oregon for the events... ha. Just my personal thing, I have a bad attitude about Portland, had it been cheap or not, I had a lot of bad experiences there. :p Pretty trees, though. :)

[Jadestone]

I've just been feeling really really down :( My bf of 3 years broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago out of nowhere... he'd apparently been growing unhappy for a while but never thought to talk to me about it, just one night DURING MY FINALS WEEK AS I WAS WORKING ON A TAKE HOME TEST DUE THE NEXT DAY he basically said that we needed to break up and there was no other solution. I just wish he'd TALKED to me about things beforehand, even if the problems (I'm busy with schoolwork and applications all the time) aren't things we can change, I just wish we could have TRIED, you know? I just feel like he never gave us a chance to try to fix things :( I'm never gonna know if there was anything I could have done, even if it didn't work at least it would have been something. And now I'm just stuck wondering how long he was pretending for, and when he stopped being in love with me. And the thing is I can't even be angry at him (except for his timing... during finals, before the holidays, and my bday :( I don't know what to do with his christmas present...), he's one of the nicest people I've ever known, and I don't want him to be unhappy, I just... :( I still care about him a lot and that makes it so much harder.

I've been a wreck since :( today was especcially bad cause I got woken up be being yelled at by my mom and then got dragged shopping in a very overwhelming mall for 3 hours. I didn't cry too noticeably in public at least I think.

bluh. I just can't talk about these things in real life because I start crying to hard to form sentences and I don't want to keep bothering my friends with it. venting is good though.

[Rogue Siren]

I'm so sorry, Jadestone. :( But I wonder how much he really cared if he broke it off so easy. Then again....guys are't the best at communication. :P


And I wanted to applaud everyone with medical conditions for being so strong. I've got the common cold and feel like I'm going to die..


Anyway, my little rant starts out a coupld months ago. A friend and I got into an argument and it just never recovered. I've figured we handle things differently....which didn't work. I actually say my mind and talk to people when I'm upset.... she holds everything in until one little thing pushes her over the edge and she explodes (she told me this. Not healthy IMO) So I try to move past it when she just says to drop it (communication is key....whatever). We go a few months and are fine. A few spats here and there (we never argued before the first time. :/). Then I complain about all the people hating on others (such as Miley Cyrus), and she takes it personally as she was actually one of the people doing it. She yells at me and insults me so I stop talking to her. She doesn't try to speak with me either. This goes on a month.

She finally texts me asking if she should remove me form her contacts. She apologizes and we're good for maybe another month. Sort of..... Her comments to me were only ever rude or negative. I ignore it, hoping this would pass.

So the special of a show rolls around. I hate the show and think it's incredibly overrated, one of those things that a bunch of teens grab onto a make a big deal about for a few months then dies. I make a post about this (much less aggressive than the way I worded it just now) and she goes on to attack me for it. I don't respond because she's being immature and I remove her from my friends list so she can no longer comment on my things.

She sends me a nasty message about it, then goes on to make a big deal about how I'm a b!tch and some horrible person on her page for infriending her. I don't respond to any of this knowing she was just in it for attention.

A few weeks late I send her a message to apologize because I never meant to upset her. I'm glad I finally found out how immature she really is.... She hasn't responded and I doubt she ever will.

Oh, and she started yelling louder and being more aggressive when I try to apologize any other time....really? I seriously think she needs a therapist. Anyway, don't know where I was going with this. I'm done.


Edit: Sorry for all the typos! I'm on my phone, it's really early, I'm sick, and barely got any sleep last night. :x

[deepblue]

Jadestone, I'm so sorry he decided to pull such a thoughtless move. He waits this long without saying a word to you, and then drops the bomb when you need your focus? He could not have waited another week? That is maddening. I hope you feel better soon. Only time ever seems to take care of broken hearts. But pardon me if I say, "What a jerk!" about your now-ex.

Milleu- sounds like unfriending was totally the right thing to do! WOW. Some people. I think maybe that unfriend needs therapy.

Speaking of unfriending, here's a somewhat minor bitchout.
A friend of mine goes on date with a guy and apparently the entire time he talked about ME, while out with HER. She tells me one night at club. I guess because she knew I'd had a crush on him for some time. BUT he was on a DATE with her, and talking about another woman. I verified this. "He was on a date with you? And saying I'm amazing and all that?" Yes. So I said what I thought. What an ass. What a jerk, talking about another woman while on a date with her. I quickly lost interest beyond friendship with him. A little time passes, the next time I see him, this normally really friendly guy is cold-shouldering me- like seriously, ignoring me right in front of him, being incredibly juvenile- which is an insult to juveniles! It took me a minute, but I realized she must have told him. Okay. But then a little more time passes, and boom, she unfriends me and is still friends with him. (I have a bf now, this was right before my new guy.)

Nice. Well. I can do without such people in my life. His crap, her crap, it's all the same to me. Sad to have apparently lost her friendship. But she does have a lot of issues, so who knows what else she was thinking that she never told me. I want this to not bother me, but godsdammit, I knew her for ten years, so I'm bugged.

[Mermaid Adriel]

I dunno anymore if I can make my tail and I'm getting jealous of people who are happy because they can have a tail (mind you, I don't hate you!)
As you may know I'm depressed now and I'm just tired of everything. This year I had been planning to make a latex one, but I COULDN'T! Now I'd like to make my silicone one and maybe I can't, or I've fear of it. maybe I must give up and let this old dream go of.
I'm deluding...

I've not a tail and I'm starting feeling excluded from this community :(

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ well i still cant swim like one so imagine how THAT feels haha :P my tail has been in the closet for so long now.. and its molding.. and i need to clean it.. and since i have resorted to becoming a dry-mer instead, i could give it to you free of charge. mainly because, well... i dont wanna clean it and i am super lazy (to charge you for a tail i dont wanna clean myself is pretty mean so i'm opting to give it for free). also, you are in need of a tail and i'm not. :o
SOOOO shoot me a msg if youre interested.

back to unfriending, i just cleaned out 50 people from my list of people i havent talked to for years.. maybe months.. very liberating to spring clean your friends list. these people i've either lost contact with and we barely talk anymore but remain friends offline, some disagree with my beliefs and we've just remained acquaintances, or they just downright offended me or pissed me off about something so stupid.. (like how to NOT post 'once upon a time' spoilers.. bitch please its my facebook wall its like walking into my home and telling me what to NOT hang up in my own home.)

[Amphitrite]

OBVIOUSLY if I disagree with someone in authority I am automatically wrong. #$^&@!

[PearlieMae]

Claudia, you are a mer in your heart, not your tail. I'm sorry you feel excluded. How about making yourself a fabric tail for now? Make a nice basic spandex tail and spend time decorating it. Nothing that will keep you from swimming in it if you have the opportunity. Paint some scales, sew on some sequins...make it your own, and after a while, you'll be ready to make the jump into building a silicone tail. And you'll already have an awesome custom fabric tail!

[AniaR]

oh look. another bout of stomach flu. great

[deepblue]

Having a tail has nothing to do with it. I've no tail, either. Mer in spirit and heart, that's what matters. A person with a mermaid tail might not even feel merish.

[Mermaid Kelda]

(like how to NOT post 'once upon a time' spoilers.. bitch please its my facebook wall its like walking into my home and telling me what to NOT hang up in my own home.)
Except your Facebook wall is basically the opposite of your living room wall.
People don't automatically get updates on what paintings you put up in your home; but on Facebook, no one has to be in your home to see your paintings - they're forced to look at them unless they want to stop receiving any news about your paintings ever. So really, it's more like saying "Hey! Look! Look at this painting I just put up on my wall! You'll notice it's a depiction of the final scene of that show you love, isn't it great? Oh, you haven't seen it yet? Well you have now!"

Not that I'm trying to pick fights or anything, but I do think it's etiquette not to post spoilers on a public forum where the whole point of a post is to share it with your entire friends list ;)

[Merman Arion]

OK... That's it!
I have something to cheer up all of you. If that video doesn't put a big smile on your cheeks, i promise i will try harder. :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJlrJ55y3FM

[Rogue Siren]

Agree with Melaina. :) I'll start posting spoilers about a month later....if you haven't seen it yet I doubt you ever had plans to. Lol



And I'm totally pissed and knew I should have just let things be. *headdesk* So I apologized to this friend because yes, I knew she liked this show but complained about it anyway (then unfriended her with no notice though she had been being rude for over a month). Well she actually did respond. But what does she do? Bring someone else into the conversation that doesn't even have anything to do with it! This other person is my very good friend, and her friend as well. They live an hour from each other and I live three hours away. It seems like this crazy bitch (sorry, very upset. She's done this before), is constantly trying to make me seem like the bad guy. In her reply (which is a group post now) she exaggerates everything I've done about how /I'm/ the horrible person, then she goes on to a short little one sentence apology about blowing up on me. So my actual friend only knows a small fragment of the story. It's like this bitch is trying to take this friend to her side and make her hate me. Dx

I have no idea what to say, if I should say anything at all. If I do reply it will be to her ALONE, like it should have been! *beats her head against a wall* Therapy please! Someone get her help.....

[PearlieMae]

(I love you, Arion! :mermaid kiss:)

[Mermaid Kelda]

I have no idea what to say, if I should say anything at all. If I do reply it will be to her ALONE, like it should have been! *beats her head against a wall* Therapy please! Someone get her help.....
If it were me, I'd (privately) message the other friend too, briefly saying something along the lines of "sorry she dragged you into this, you didn't need to be included in our animosity" or some such. Nothing harsh, not defensive, just letting her know you thought it was inappropriate for the other girl to randomly add her to the argument.

[Mermaid Adriel]

@PearlieMae I know, I'm trying to get my monofin for doing a fabric tail, beacause I think it's more comfortable starting with it, but I'd like to take off the itch (dunno if it's written right) to make a home-made realistic tail. Maybe I need to wait more time.
The fact that I feel excluded is something that I carry around for years, because I don't feel like the others, but I won't dwell too much about it.
However, thank you and @deepblue for the words <3

@Arion I often watch that episode, it reminds me of my childhood :'3

[SeaGlass Siren]

I have it so only certain people can see it so it's not exactly public. But that's besides the point. My point is this chick goes on a tangent about anything she wants and no one is allowed to say anything regarding her anti religious, anti homophobe, whatever-it-is posts and suddenly I am not allowed to post what isn't really spoilers anyway (and in the future if I do that's my decision) because its not "etiquette". Pish posh I think there's other posts on the Internet people need to worry about :/ that's the whole reason why I'm so irked about it. "spoilers" or what people consider to be spoilers in the grande scheme of Facebook things is very minuscule compared to hate posts.

[Vixy]

I hope nobody minds me putting things on here.

I'm resenting my ex boyfriend, who I still love and have feelings for. He couldn't decide on what he wanted, I wish I looked at the warnings signs, like him saying he liked being single. He's a commitment phobic, but it seemed to have worked for the first month before he started freaking out. No future, me having more feelings for him then he for me. His actions spoke differently to his words. Then he stopped talking to me for days, and then when I finally got him he told me he only thought of me as a friend. His actions still speak differently, he confuses me even after we broke up and I sometimes hate him for it.

Perhaps he freaked out, perhaps not. But he knew he was going into a relationship with someone who's previous boyfriend cheated on her. He knew I was fragile and yet he still went into the relationship with me, and he was helping me heal.

Sorry... but it helped getting it off my chest.

[Mermaid Kelda]

@Seaglass: For sure; I'm not defending her actions at all. Some people can just fly off the handle and it's so much worse when they're hypocritical about it. It's a necessary skill to be able to respectfully disagree with someone, rather than attack.

If anyone disagreed with my anti-homophobic statements on Facebook, I wouldn't get angry. I'd respectfully disagree, then un-friend the bastards ;)

[PearlieMae]

Vixy, when you say his actions speak otherwise, do you men he still wants physical affection? If so, he just wants you as a fuck buddy with no responsibility of maintaining a relationship. Unless you are into sex as sport, get away from him, because that behavior rarely, if ever, changes. Sound like being involved with this guy could be pretty toxic. Not a life partner there. Ask yourself what you are supposed to learn from this experience, and move on. :)

[Vixy]

More he showed he cared by doing things like someone would if they had intense feelings and in love. When we broke up I cut any contact with him whatsoever. His actions that confused me, is that he was still keeping up on what I was up to and asking about me to mutual friends.

He's a confused boy not a man and I feel sorry for him. Letting his past interfere with his future.

[SeaGlass Siren]

wow i'm a retard LOL


i reread my entire post just now and i meant to say "homophobic", not anti homophobe LOL.. thats the last time i try to use my phone to quickly respond

back on topic.
It's a necessary skill to be able to respectfully disagree with someone, rather than attack. this, i can agree with.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Well, I can definitely see your point then! She doesn't sound like the sort of person you'd want to keep in touch with anyhow :\

Though, did you mean anti-religion? Because I don't know if I've ever met someone who was anti-religion and also homophobic.

[SeaGlass Siren]

She's very anti religion ._.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Sadly I know a ton of people who aren't religious and are also homophobic (i dont talk to them though) . This girl and I were only friends because we had the same interest in music

People I know who fit the description are or were "high school gangsters". Oh boy. I remember the days ....

[Dacora]

I understand that most people wont find value in fish like I do, and thats understandable. But why do people feel the need to say such negative things about my hobby? Some of yall know I have been dealing with bullies who are being rude toward me and my fish. Sadly it happened again. I was starting a water change on my tank and my uncle asked why I do it so often, so I explained then he said "Why dont you throw them away and get cooler fish?" To which I replied, very nicely and calmly I might add "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't say stuff like that about my fish. I have worked hard to get them where they are and they are important to me. I dont say rude things about your kids, so please dont say stuff about mine." He cut me off and called me immature and told me not to get so butt hurt over fish. I got really upset, said things not appropriate for this forum and walked off. The worst part is my parents, who know how much I care about my pets, didn't even stand up for me. They just let him talk down to me.

How should I deal with this?
Its normally very hard to get me upset but im really hurt. Hes not the type of person to stop either. He will keep on like this and its causing me to resent my parents for not stepping in and asking him to stop. He is over here every day too since he already killed his relationship with my grandpa, aunt and his ex wife and has no place to go since he has no money, Evan though he spoils his daughter with unneeded toys and buys cigarettes and alcohol with the rest. I just can't deal with it.

These fish are my kids. All my pets are, they help me emotionally and with my depression and the tank calms my anger issues. They are not just my fish, I rely on them just as much as they do me. :/

[Mermaid Tula]

Dacora, it sounds to me that he's jealous that you have something you truly care for. You have stability in your life, and he doesn't. So he's picking on you, making fun of your stability.
I would suggest talking with your parents when he's not around and let them know how upset he makes you when he teases / makes fun of you because of the care you give your fish. Like not just a "Mom & Dad, uncle is upsetting me." Have a full on conversation about what he's doing, how its affecting you, and ask for their support, because they have been pretty lax on not supporting you when he goes on the attack. Yes he may be a sibling, but you're their child. You're the one they should side with, especially since he's estranged himself from not only his other sister, but his own father and ex wife.

Just remember, that you're fish are awesome, you're awesome, and he's just a putz. <3

[deepblue]

I think what Tula said is right on. And you know what, when people say someone is butthurt, they're usually just dismissing that they have hurt someone. They don't want to take responsibility for their actions, and they negate the other person's feelings. I'm glad you stood up to him- esp if your parents won't, and it sucks when the child, adult or teen or younger, has to be the grown up when it comes to their own parents.

[Dacora]

Thank you guys. It nice to know I have some support. I did talk with them about it before, and I did after he left tonight. All my mom said was she wasn't on any ones side and just ignored everything else I said. Neither her or my dad really gives a shit. All they wanna do is kiss his ass, which is beyond me because he has started rumors when my mom and dad where considering getting a divorce about my dad getting a RV and taking my brother away. We talked to my dad about it and he never said that.

All my uncle is, is a liar,a bully and a mooch. And I get the brunt of it.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Instant karma is gonna get him! Gonna knock him right of his feet!

[PearlieMae]

When he starts in on you, tell him to go away and mind his own business. If he asks why you do anything with your fish, ask why he wants to know. He's only asking because he knows he can incite you into a conflict. Shut him out. He has no power over you.

He's obviously dealing with issues of his own insecurity and the only way he can is to pick on others - you. How old is this guy?

[Dacora]

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a lot better today. I talked with my grandpa about it today one on one and got it all out. Im just gonna ignore him all together upon my grandpas suggestion. My grandpa told me if he keeps it up he will kick him out since we all live on my grandpa's property. Apparently he has been pulling the same stuff at their house and my grandpa and aunt are sick of it. I dont want to see him kicked out but he has been causing a lot of isses beyond this and its causing my grandpa health issues.
@Pearlie he is 45, he acts abouts 4.

~The goldfish mermaid~

[Mermaid Lilium]

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a lot better today. I talked with my grandpa about it today one on one and got it all out. Im just gonna ignore him all together upon my grandpas suggestion. My grandpa told me if he keeps it up he will kick him out since we all live on my grandpa's property. Apparently he has been pulling the same stuff at their house and my grandpa and aunt are sick of it. I dont want to see him kicked out but he has been causing a lot of isses beyond this and its causing my grandpa health issues.
@Pearlie he is 45, he acts abouts 4.

~The goldfish mermaid~

Having lived with a sociopath I've had to learn the hard way that the best way to deal with people who take great delight in tearing others down is jut to ignore them and not give them a weapon - don't let them know that something hurts or upsets you, don't give them a reaction or they'll just keep doing it. Shut them down, turn the conversation onto something mundane and keep your chin up =) I'm glad you have someone to talk to about this though as that support is priceless =)

[Echidna]

I've had my (un)fair share of sociopaths.

The worst aspect about that is, if you absolutely cannot avoid them, all you can do is ignore them.
They won't change, and if there's nothing you can really DO (short of moving out and ceasing all contact, which isn't always possible), it usually tends to be very depressing in the long run. :(

[deepblue]

^That's the truth. If he hasn't changed by 45, he's REALLY not going to- there's obviously something very wrong with him, but there's nothing anyone can do about someone who behaves that way. Who knows... maybe getting kicked out and finally having it hit him that he's driven away everyone is the only thing that CAN get through to him.

So glad your grandpa has your back.

[Rogue Siren]

Stupid pet shop distributing people! Ugh!!!

I didn't know where else to complain about this...so I guess it fits here.

I work at a pet store (does not sell dogs/cats thank god). I work with the animals and receive animals. Well the other day was fish day. We've been having cooler weather the past few weeks, and the fish have been coming in at cooler temps than they should.... We contact the distribution center and let them know.

Well everyone should have heard about the artic-like temperatures around south lately! The DC should have freaking known! Well they send the fish with a single heat pack in the coolers with them. ONE. Needless to say they were freezing when we got them! These are tropical fish and the lowest temp I recorded was 43 degrees F. Most the fish were not moving. We did get some goldfish and they were fine, but the rest.... We let them slowly warm up at room temp, then added them to the tanks to acclimate a bit more. Most were dead. The rest are probably dead now because of stress. Argh! I want to beat those idiots for packing them so poorly!!!

[BlueMermaid]

Dacora, your uncle is one of those people to just avoid like the plague. If he speaks to you, just ignore him. If needed, tell him that when he can speak to you with respect, you will talk to him. Otherwise just pretend he isn't there. Do not tolerate abuse but don't abuse back either.

[BlueMermaid]

Poor fishes! :(


Stupid pet shop distributing people! Ugh!!!

I didn't know where else to complain about this...so I guess it fits here.

I work at a pet store (does not sell dogs/cats thank god). I work with the animals and receive animals. Well the other day was fish day. We've been having cooler weather the past few weeks, and the fish have been coming in at cooler temps than they should.... We contact the distribution center and let them know.

Well everyone should have heard about the artic-like temperatures around south lately! The DC should have freaking known! Well they send the fish with a single heat pack in the coolers with them. ONE. Needless to say they were freezing when we got them! These are tropical fish and the lowest temp I recorded was 43 degrees F. Most the fish were not moving. We did get some goldfish and they were fine, but the rest.... We let them slowly warm up at room temp, then added them to the tanks to acclimate a bit more. Most were dead. The rest are probably dead now because of stress. Argh! I want to beat those idiots for packing them so poorly!!!

[BlueMermaid]

Well I feel really bad complaining, because I have alot of blessings in my life. But I'm hoping my complaining will perhaps, not only make me feel better to get it out, but maybe someone will even know how to help.

So, in a rush of excitement I bought a tank from a guy on craigslist. I took his word for it that it was not damaged. I spent a large amount of money on it, but not nearly what it would cost to get new. It was great, but then I discovered just how insanely heavy this thing is and if I wanted to use it for events, I would have to hire 4 strong men just to get it on and off the trailer. So instead, I spent another large amount of money to have a custom trailer built that would support the weight of the tank while full of water. So it took a long time but I finally got the new trailer and got the tank on it, well actually my husband did, because I was out of town working. Well I told my husband to please fill up the tank and test everything out and make sure everything was working ok, because I had stupidly told a client I had a tank and they wanted it at their event the following month. I would not be getting back into town until a week before, so I needed him to do it for me. Well, he never did until I got home, 1 week before we were to use it at an event. A few days before the event he finally started filling it. Water spewed from all the seams. He went and got some special glue for tanks and fixed it. We filled it about half way and the water was staying in. *whew* I thought, that was close! Well, we took it to the event. I was so excited. I was worried because I had never even got to practice in it. Oh well, I'd have to wing it! Here I am, inside the dry tank, right before we filled it up.
17027
I got out and we started filling it. But then this happened:
17028
Long story short, the client was not happy, I was not happy. We took it home, tried fixing it 2 more times, still not fixed. In fact, the last try seemed to work until the water got to the top, and then the bottom separated from one of the walls and it cracked a spot on the wall.
17029
So, we took it to an aquarium builder to see if he could fix it. She said the wrong glue was used when it was built, it would have to be taken apart, the edges sawed off, and re-glued together. He said new glue won't stick to the old glue, and there is no way to get the old glue off. Oh, and he doesn't do that and neither does anyone else in the area.
I don't know what to do. I should probably just count my losses and move on.

On a side note, even if my tank had worked, wow, tanks are alot of money and work! I give alot of credit tho those who use them. They take alot of time money and patience to use. And I just have a small one!

[Mer_Adella]

I'm so sorry BlueMermaid :( that is horrible. I guess its a reminder to all of us about buying things on craigslist. And I didn't mean to insult you if it did :( I just meant that i have bought some things off of there and they weren't what they were supposed to be. I would love to have a tank too. Even a small one person one like yours :) But I can understand the frustration in buying it, spending the $ to have a special trailer made, and then finding out that the guy who built it basically didn't learn how to do it properly. I wish i could direct you somewhere to learn how to do it yourself or to someone that knew how to do it in your area :(. This is one of the big reasons why the pirate festival near me says that we shouldn't do tanks; they are expensive, they can be dangerous, and it takes the money to build them right.

[BlueMermaid]

No, it's something I hope people learn from my experience. In my excitement to get a tank, I did not think clearly. :doh:
[QUOTE=Mer_Adella;104887]I'm so sorry BlueMermaid :( that is horrible. I guess its a reminder to all of us about buying things on craigslist. And I didn't mean to insult you if it did :(

[Dacora]

@bluemermaid
There are several youtube how to's on how to reglue fish tanks when the silicone gets compromised. They are not that big but its basically the same thing in practice. Idk if you want to do that but its better than having a useless hunk of glass sitting around.

~The goldfish mermaid~

[BlueMermaid]

Thanks Dacora. I'll take a look. My tank is acrylic tho and that seems to be the reason they can't get the glue off or reglue it. But youtube is pretty amazing, I just may find a solution! Thanks!

@bluemermaid
There are several youtube how to's on how to reglue fish tanks when the silicone gets compromised. They are not that big but its basically the same thing in practice. Idk if you want to do that but its better than having a useless hunk of glass sitting around.

~The goldfish mermaid~

[Merman Dan]

There are several youtube how to's on how to reglue fish tanks when the silicone gets compromised.

You might also try the forums at Reef Central (http://www.reefcentral.com)

[Merman Arion]

I didn't know where to post so I might as well do it here. It's not really a rant but I feel like I should get it out of my chest :$

We are in 2014, I'm 25 and it has been officially 10 months since I registered here. I have evolved a lot. Many things happened and something just occured to me.

WHERE ARE THEY? :(

If you wonder who I'm talking about, it's the mermaids members who do not show since a while. I used to read lots of posts from them during Summer, some even before that, some afterwards and then, BAM! Nothing! Nada! Niente! Nichts! Rien! WTF happened?

I have checked some of my merfriends here in my profile data and eleven are MIA since more two months already. I wonder what is happening. Are they busy? Did they... quit? I could give some names but I don't get it. Some of them were very active for a while like it was their brand new passion and posted a lot of messages and then, POOF! Gone! I don't know how to interpret that. Is it the effect of the mermaid "trend" ? First it's so cool and then, once they get in a tail and swim, "oh that was it?"

I really don't know how to explain my feelings but I guess it could be a mix of sadness, disappointment, perplexity? :gah:


I noticed as well that a lot are still active but they just stop posting and expressing their opinions. I wonder why. Is it because of the last dramas that happened recently? They don't feel like their opinions matter anymore? I think it's a shame because we are a community, the last even Merfest proved that we are actually a family and yet, something just makes me feel like it could be so much better here. We have a lot of members but I feel like we are just a small group in fact.

We are having a lot of newbies at this moment and I confess that I kind of stopped welcoming them because they just don't last. I asked myself "what's the point? In some months, he/she may quit." I feel baffled a lot when I see newcomers asking many questions which can be answered if they do a little effort researching first and I don't mean to be rude or a jerk for saying that. I feel that the forum is changing. Maybe that's why I feel uneasy? I just don't know. I guess I'm a complicated fish in the end... :sad eyes:

I'm sorry. Thanks for taking some time to read my pathetic 2ç.

[Elle]

People do get busy. I know there have been times where i just haven't gotten around to getting on here and other times where i just don't feel i have anything to add to the conversations at hand.
Don't be too disappointed. Life happens. Usually they come back and it'll be like they never left. I always like that about good friends. You can go without seeing them fir weeks, months, years and then you run into them and its like thy never left :)

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[SeaGlass Siren]

I know a few have migrated forums, and others, well you gotta consider that some are still in school and it's exam season for most of them.

And then there's the people who do log on I see what's up but just lurk, and some use Chat box only

[Echidna]

While I wondered myself where some have gone, it's winter, the dearth time for mermaiding.
It's dark and bleak and cold, and even if people log here, they might not feel enough in the mer mood to post :p

also, winter's the time of influenza, colds and other nasties, those are big (mer) moodkillers.

[Mer_Adella]

Rant!

My boyfriend and I decided to get a trash service and we picked the big one because they are cheaper than most and they are really good about getting the trash and such (Waste Management). You can only get a trash service by doing online enrollement. So thats what we did. We paid the full amount for a full year as it was cheaper than paying per month. That was $171.68!!!!!!!! That night the payment was processed.

the next morning I asked him if we had to pick up our trash can (like we had to do in Alabama) or if they dropped it off. He said to call. So I did. They fucking told me that they DON'T SERVICE OUR AREA!!!!!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

Why in the hell did your website (after I typed in our zipcode) say that we could get a residential or commercial dumpster service if you dont freaking service our area??? So after getting a little snippy with the guy at the office he gave me a phone # to call to get it refunded. I called this morning and I waited for 8 minutes before someone answered. NOW THAT ASSHOLE IS TRANSFERING ME BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DO THAT!!!! I am getting so mad right now.

After I get this done, I am making a formal complaint against them that their website is a bunch of crap!!!! When we wanted to get broadband cable (and went to the website of a carrier around here) we typed in our zipcode and instantly it popped up with "I'm sorry but we do not serivce this area"....WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THE TRASH SERVICE DO THAT???? I'm so mad that I am being jerked around. $171.68 is a lot of money!!!! UGH!!!

[Mer_Adella]

Change of subject....

My uncle, his wife, and two kids had that NASTY flu...idk what strain it is this year, but whatever...they got over it. But my grandma got it today. My mom talked to her at 7 this morning and she was fine. I talked to her at 10am and she said she didn't feel well at all. I checked in with her at 1pm and she was way worse, actually had to get off the phone because she was going to throw up. I called my mom at work to let her know. She immediate said, "She probably got the flu that David and his family had. He wouldn't listen when she said she didn't want to go out to eat because she knew he had been sick the week before"

Well at 9:30pm I called my mom's house and my dad said that she wasn't there...something about my grandma. So I called my mom's cell. She said that my grandma couldn't move and didn't want to be alone. so she went over there and just hung out. My mother is a teacher and has school tomorrow. She told me that she called my Uncle (he lives closer than my mom) but he was home with his kids and couldn't come. So he called my mom and told her to go over there.

My mom had to help my grandma go to the bathroom and as my grandma was leaning on my mom washing her hands, she literally slid down the length of my mom and fell to the floor. My mom couldn't lift her up and had to call my uncle. he was in bed and came over in 15min but only stayed to get my gma up and in bed and left again.

I am very disgusted with him at the moment. He owns his own business and winter is his slow time. Yet he makes my mom go over there to be with his mother. I understand he has two small kids but his wife was home at the time. She won't be there tomorrow, but my mom has to take a day off of work tomorrow because she is so tired tonight and is worried that now she will be sick. Am I wrong to be mad at my uncle? I'm not SUPER mad, just more disappointed that he doesn't think of his situation versus my mothers. He lives 10 minutes away where my mom lives 1/2 an hour away. He has his own business where my mom is a school teacher. I dont know. I try to think about it and I try to understand. He has little kids. But my mind instantly thinks, you shoved off the thought of your mother being very sick onto another sibling.

If my mom were that sick and she called me...I would be there. Same with my brother (if she called him). Does anyone know what I mean or think it wrong?

[SIF]

Seahorses and jellyfish! I haven't done ANYTHING right today... :lol: I started out the day looking at character mark-ups for a friends senior project webseries/ film thing and freaking out when I got to one character in a confederate uniform cause she's got the cowboy i've been crushin' on for three years playing that character and he looks AMAZING in a uniform. We got to school and I feel off the school bus, into a little group of sixth graders. I went to get breakfast and got sidetracked by a friend asking me a theatre based Q and then my "6th grade buddy" needing to do our secret handshake. I went to class, but got the wrong class (every period of the day), and painted our set for Oliver the last two periods of the day. Our set is two stories and the platforms are 6 feet high. I painted set and stood up into a loudspeaker box about nine times (my "buddies" were having a good laugh at counting...) and then a ventilation shaft. Then I fell off the set, hit my head on the stage and apparently babbled "nonsense" about (...a corkboard and a lightswitch?) i think they said.... And when the guys came to move me from under the painters I thought one was my ex mertender and said some silly things about how pretty he was and something about getting inside my tail to the other(who happened to be the kid i'm crushing on), followed promptly by slipping on a stage-tarp and falling on my butt in a paint tray. At the end of shop class I had to wash out my brush, and ended washing all of the brushes and buckets, but lost my grip on a bucket and got a full ricochet blast of water to the face and boobs... It's been one depth of a day.... :doh::lol:

[Mermaid Lilium]

Change of subject....

My uncle, his wife, and two kids had that NASTY flu...idk what strain it is this year, but whatever...they got over it. But my grandma got it today. My mom talked to her at 7 this morning and she was fine. I talked to her at 10am and she said she didn't feel well at all. I checked in with her at 1pm and she was way worse, actually had to get off the phone because she was going to throw up. I called my mom at work to let her know. She immediate said, "She probably got the flu that David and his family had. He wouldn't listen when she said she didn't want to go out to eat because she knew he had been sick the week before"

Well at 9:30pm I called my mom's house and my dad said that she wasn't there...something about my grandma. So I called my mom's cell. She said that my grandma couldn't move and didn't want to be alone. so she went over there and just hung out. My mother is a teacher and has school tomorrow. She told me that she called my Uncle (he lives closer than my mom) but he was home with his kids and couldn't come. So he called my mom and told her to go over there.

My mom had to help my grandma go to the bathroom and as my grandma was leaning on my mom washing her hands, she literally slid down the length of my mom and fell to the floor. My mom couldn't lift her up and had to call my uncle. he was in bed and came over in 15min but only stayed to get my gma up and in bed and left again.

I am very disgusted with him at the moment. He owns his own business and winter is his slow time. Yet he makes my mom go over there to be with his mother. I understand he has two small kids but his wife was home at the time. She won't be there tomorrow, but my mom has to take a day off of work tomorrow because she is so tired tonight and is worried that now she will be sick. Am I wrong to be mad at my uncle? I'm not SUPER mad, just more disappointed that he doesn't think of his situation versus my mothers. He lives 10 minutes away where my mom lives 1/2 an hour away. He has his own business where my mom is a school teacher. I dont know. I try to think about it and I try to understand. He has little kids. But my mind instantly thinks, you shoved off the thought of your mother being very sick onto another sibling.

If my mom were that sick and she called me...I would be there. Same with my brother (if she called him). Does anyone know what I mean or think it wrong?

I have been through similar frustrations - until we finally kicked him out just before xmas, mum's partner (who was actually my dad's brother, just to complicate things lol) he basically never went to see his own 96 y/o mother, my mum was the one who did everything for her and the one who had to go to the hospital whenever gran's panic/careline button went off, usually because paul was too wasted to even get up. Mum has an important job and she would end up sitting with gran in the hospital til like 3am and then have to be up at 7.30am to get ready for work

[deepblue]

Adella, you have every right to feel the way you do. I'd be downright angry and probably tell him what I think of his shirking his duties as her son. But I don't have a lot of patience for crap like he's pulling. Compassion is too rare in this world as it is, but that's his MOTHER and sister you're talking about. He needs to step up.

[deepblue]

I wanted to edit into my response... but the forum won't let me see it and I don't want to repeat what I said, in case it shows up. haha. I was just going to say, even if he's perhaps having difficulty with seeing his mom in such a state, maybe someone needs to tell him the ways in which he's letting everyone down. Maybe he's just clueless.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Isn't he your uncle then?

[Mermaid Lilium]

Yup he's my uncle. It didn't go down well with me and my brother when she first started dating him like 7 years ago..... Our dad and his brother was a damn monster. He was supposed to be 'different'... aparently not.

also, with mum ending things with him, he suddenly went to see his mum a lot *rolls eyes* was trying to convince her to come out of the home and he'd care for her etc etc etc. She signed over power-of-attourney to her solicitor years ago and with the council/social services, she wouldn't be able to do that sort of thing - her house was already on the market to be sold to pay for her care home (an automatic governmental thing that can't be gotten out of).
Basically he wanted a free place to stay in her house, would drag her out of a home and back with carers because he'd never be able to care for her (she's in the home through her own choice and for the best as visiting carers wasn't enough anymore), and he wanted money. Then when he realised he wouldn't get the house, he just wanted money. In the end nan's solicitor released some cash for paul's deposit and first month's rent just so the situation would be resolved..... once he had the money he's not seen her since as far as we know. Charming fellow, eh?

then again I don't feel much pity - yes she's gotten worse because of dementia but it's brought out her true colours. My gran made me cry last xmas day after she was horrible and cruel to me, I walked out and said I'd only see her again if she apologised to me. she told mum she 'doesn't apologise' so I haven't seen her since. And as soon as paul went snivelling to her, she of course sided with him and forgot all the shit mum did for her. So mum and my brother and husband haven't been to see her since this all kicked off at the end of august. Wonder where her fucking kids got it from? heh. What a wonderful shit-heap of a family. Just glad I didn't turn out as a psychopath/sociopath like them and took after my mother more <3

Paul only moved out the friday before xmas so we finally got to enjoy xmas. Only after mum took him to the court to get him removed. Even with all of that paul kept texting her, even putting a card with a note through the front door etc, STILL asking her for a second chance. a few days after xmas he text again asking if they could have a first date again. Is he fucking clueless??!!!!!!!! For now, it seems he has given up and mum's ignoring him is working as we've heard nothing from him.

[Mermaid Dottie]

oh. my. word.
I think I would slap him right in his stupid face. Marshall Erikson-style.

[Miyu]

*SLAP OF A MILLION EXPLODING SUNS*

[Mermaid Lilium]

oh. my. word.
I think I would slap him right in his stupid face. Marshall Erikson-style.

which is exactly why I ended up living in my room and avoiding him at all costs. I have a short fuse and I speak my mind. Not something that would have been useful when we were trying to build the case to present to the court - we couldn't do anything to antagonise him.

Seems so fucking backwards when we'd had to call the cops 3 times, one for the original day mum ended things (when he shouted and threatened to rip off my mother-in-law's(/anyone who had a problem with him) head and shit down her neck), another where he'd been a nightmare all afternoon and mum was scared to come home, but paul was sleeping off a whole bottle of whiskey by the time she got home and the cop came in with her. Third time the police should have actually charged him with breach of the peace when he threatened to burn the house down.

Every single damn day from august 23rd - the friday before xmas, he was begging mum to give him another chance and then turning around and being like 'well i'll make sure we go to court and you end up getting no money' etc etc. He was drinking a bottle of whiskey a night, and then decided to 'prove' to mum that he'd changed by 'not drinking' but he would dissapear up to his room with his glass of coke and then come back down to drink it *rolls her eyes* he eventually gave up that ruse and openly drank again. You can probably imagine the drunken begging and how the conversations would go in endless circles, he would obsess on a few points that actually had nothing to do with what was going on.

and the best bit is. He thinks he's done nothing wrong and that mum BSed the letter to the court. *facepalm*

[Arella]

I think a lot of people just have more free time during summer :) It tend to lurk every season but summer because I have more time to post.

[Mermaid Dottie]

*SLAP OF A MILLION EXPLODING SUNS*
I. LOVE YOU!

[Mermaid Dottie]

which is exactly why I ended up living in my room and avoiding him at all costs. I have a short fuse and I speak my mind. Not something that would have been useful when we were trying to build the case to present to the court - we couldn't do anything to antagonise him.

Seems so fucking backwards when we'd had to call the cops 3 times, one for the original day mum ended things (when he shouted and threatened to rip off my mother-in-law's(/anyone who had a problem with him) head and shit down her neck), another where he'd been a nightmare all afternoon and mum was scared to come home, but paul was sleeping off a whole bottle of whiskey by the time she got home and the cop came in with her. Third time the police should have actually charged him with breach of the peace when he threatened to burn the house down.

Every single damn day from august 23rd - the friday before xmas, he was begging mum to give him another chance and then turning around and being like 'well i'll make sure we go to court and you end up getting no money' etc etc. He was drinking a bottle of whiskey a night, and then decided to 'prove' to mum that he'd changed by 'not drinking' but he would dissapear up to his room with his glass of coke and then come back down to drink it *rolls her eyes* he eventually gave up that ruse and openly drank again. You can probably imagine the drunken begging and how the conversations would go in endless circles, he would obsess on a few points that actually had nothing to do with what was going on.

and the best bit is. He thinks he's done nothing wrong and that mum BSed the letter to the court. *facepalm*
People like that make me feel physically ill, and slightly fear the world in which my sweet baby will someday find himself. I only hope I can raise a good, kind, loving and Compassionate human being, who will be strong enough to not let the world tear him down. I hope for this for all children.