B!TC# IT OUT!

[SeaGlass Siren]

I married the nice boy. They're husband material. I ditched the bad boy because I don't want to commit to a short term relationship.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.

I agree super hard with this.

And as an add on, I think what originally was said by his two friends might have been a misunderstanding. I highly doubt they want a guy whom will call them names and such. I think when they said rude what they PROBABLY meant was someone CAPABLE of being rude in general. Like, if someone mistreated them or the guy they would want to know that the guy is not 'too nice' to just stand by and let it happen. Plus, I think there is this internal reasoning screwed into a lot of women's minds that if they don't want to date a guy then they can't just say 'I don't feel attracted to you' they have to give a reason WHY they aren't attracted to someone, at least that is something I feel is drilled into a lot of ladies. So by saying he is 'too nice' they thought it was the best way to say they were not interested and yet still have some form of a reason.

But, I wasn't there so whom knows what they meant. All in all though, no matter what they said being a jerk is very unlikely to get anyone a relationship (or at least one that is not HELLA f*cked up) so I suggest just staying nice and then an equally nice person will come along :) also, if you aren't interested in these girls then there is no need to worry about them thinking you are too nice because well, that's probably a good thing because you are not interested in them anyway ^^

[Mermaid Lunette]

oh man, I dunno what brought this to mind but I remember once I was at a convention and I actually dressed up and I was waiting for My husband to come back from somewhere. I was waiting by this group of people and I heard this one guy say, 'watch this', which honestly I should have realized something was fishy about that, because he immediately walked over to me and said, 'hey great costume' and held up his hand for a high five.

I should have known better but I guess I was just trying to be nice so I lifted my hand and he did the fake out high-five thing and got right up in my face yelling, "PSYCH". I was surprisingly shocked, first of all because for some reason the closeness of his face coupled with the anger in his voice just, I just IMMEDIATELY felt horrible. He just kinda walked back over to his friends, however I did appreciate that one of the girls that was with him leaned in and said, "I'm sorry about that, he's an a**hole."

I remember being so angry, this complete stranger decided to approach me and just, it has bugged me for so long, and what is worse I heard him say, 'watch this' and I have seen enough TV to know when someone says that carp you need to get the heck away from them because they are about to do something dangerous or mean, But I went and lifted my hand anyway.

this was actually over a year ago and it still bothers me. This convention was the first one I spent with my husband where we actually stayed the whole weekend. I dunno, I just had such a problem with this gross dude-bro coming up to me and just putting bad vibes on me for no reason at all, I mean, no one laughed at what he did, HE didn't even laugh! It was like the ONLY purpose of that interaction was to make me feel bad about myself, and what was worse was I was completely alone so when he leaned in for a split second I thought he might try to hit me and I just...I ended up having an anxiety attack for I dunno how long after that.

I know logically it was not a big deal, but every now and again I think about it and it still upsets me.

[AniaR]

Fifi she messaged me I ignored

[deepblue]

I married the nice boy. They're husband material. I ditched the bad boy because I don't want to commit to a short term relationship.

That is one of the things I love about my man, he is the kindest man. So nice, and yet not a pushover, and actually pretty intimidating to some because of his size. But to me, and my child, he's been the sweetest, most thoughtful man I've ever known. SCORE.

[Mermaid Leira]

Honestly I don't think that any healthy-minded girl wants a jerk boyfriend. They're probably just saying that you're "too nice" because they value your friendship but aren't romantically/sexually attracted to you.

I don't like this idea going around that women want to "tame the bad boy" and "nice guys finish last". If any guy is disrespectful to me I cut them off no matter how good looking they are. Likewise, if I'm not attracted to them but they're a nice person, I will accept them as a friend but there is no reason why I should feel guilty about not wanting to date them.

I LOVE this. Talk about keeping it simple, you sure have your head screwed on Meronica :)

[-Annwyn-]

annnndddd.....I got a flasher on the train into the city this morning.

Nothing too dramatic. Just a 30 something guy, with his fly undone and no underpants on. I paid no attention to him, because if he was a true flasher he'd like the humiliation, and perhaps he simply forgot to do his fly up (it happens).

Nope, as soon as a dude came to sit next to him (he was across from me) he promptly made to move his backpack well over his crotch.

Indeed.

[Miyu]

Eeww, that sucks Annwyn :( Boys (no matter their physical age) and their willies can be so weird sometimes...

[Naufra]

The "bad boy" thing is bull carp. I never stay with men who treat me poorly, and I firmly believe that no one should stay with a romantic partner that treats them poorly. I treat my partners with respect and dignity, and I demand the same in return.

[Merman Chatfish]

The "bad boy" thing is bull carp. I never stay with men who treat me poorly, and I firmly believe that no one should stay with a romantic partner that treats them poorly. I treat my partners with respect and dignity, and I demand the same in return.

IDK, I am always good and usually just get walked over and only been in 2 relationships, the longest was 6 months.

[Naufra]

IDK, I am always good and usually just get walked over and only been in 2 relationships, the longest was 6 months.

Sweetheart, the moment you realize that you're being used as a doormat is the moment you should rethink your relationship. First offense, discuss it with your partner civilly. Second offense, remind your partner of the conversation about the first offense and explain that this is a similar situation. Third offense, walk out the door.

[Miyu]

I agree. There is indeed a place in the world for "good guys". That link Melaina posted on the last page is pretty dang accurate - girls don't want a long-term relationship with a "bad boy". I, myself, prefer "good guys" with a little bit of a bad side to them... As in, someone who is really nice but looks "bad", or someone who is actually a complete gentleman/woman but who likes to play with darker roles in good fun.

Build up your confidence, any way you can! Confidence is the #1 thing girls like more about "bad guys" than "good guys"... Bad boys just tend to have more of it!

[Merman Chatfish]

Sweetheart, the moment you realize that you're being used as a doormat is the moment you should rethink your relationship. First offense, discuss it with your partner civilly. Second offense, remind your partner of the conversation about the first offense and explain that this is a similar situation. Third offense, walk out the door.


Oh I wasn't talking those relationships in specific, just in general I have been told and am overly trusting and gullible. Don't have much social life experience so I always assume the best and not realize when I am getting played until later when someone else tells me. Its also some of letting "friends" do that so they will be my friend.
The relationships themselves had their own issues. The first one (lasted 2 months) ended because I didn't love the girl bad because my heart was still after my best friend in college who hurt me a lot and had no interested in me. We started dating because partially because I was so alone I would basically settle for anyone who would want me and hope as I got to know her we would get close. She was also way more into sex than I was and not knowing what I was doing, the antidepressants I was on, and not being in love with her, well losing my virginity was really not what they make it sound like on TV.

The second girl who I dated for about 5 or 6 months was a better match and I developed a little more interest in her but then when I didn't see her for 3 months I didn't miss her at all (still had feelings for the girl from college (still do and I haven't seen her in 4 years)).

And I just started watching UP. Probably not a good time to do that after writing this.

[SeaMansa]

Well nice doesn't always equal pushover. Especially when it comes to me. I already hate people (I'm not a social person at all) and I'll be damned if anyone thinks they could walk over me or use me whether they be male female, girlfriend, wife or otherwise. But even so, I try to be nice, respectable, polite, and there is no one who knows me who could say I am anything other than that. Its just surprising that that kind of thinking is even a thing. At the end of the day, I just hope they all find what they are looking for and whoever that is, I hope they get treated with respect.
As far ad previous relationships go, for me, I was never a pushover, jealous, overbearing, or anything like that. My last girlfriend actually got miffed at me because I didn't care that she wanted to go to the movies with her (male) best friend. I honestly didn't think that was something I needed to like, give permission for or something, but according to her I should be concerned about her and other guys. Meanwhile I'm just standing there like... Oh, well excuse me for having trust in you and faith in our relationship. I guess a ruder, bad boy guy would have forbid her going anywhere with another guy or something? Idk. Just went off a tangent there for some reason lol

[Meronica]

Seamage, it sounds like she was the insecure one and projecting those feelings onto you. Life is too short to play games like that. -___-

Most of my close friends are guys (for no reason, that's just how it worked out), and my boyfriend has befriended all of them and has them in the "bro-zone". There are definitely better ways to handle that situation than how your ex did.

[CowgirlMermaid]

What do I do?
So a few weeks ago, some guy here wanted to do to free design drawings for members. So having sketched my dreamtail design so many times and not seeing the perfect one anymore, I asked him to try it and keep the design a secret since I did not wanted someone to come up with a similar design. . He did and showed me a rough sketch. I approved and he started on the detailed version. Then it was silent for 2 weeks, so I sent a mail and asked how it was going, and he said everything was going allright and the designs were almost finished. Then another silence for 2 weeks. So 2 days ago I mailed again. Turns out I don't get to see the design for over a year, because his art teacher wants to splace them on display for other people to see! I asked him to keep them a secret! Why on earth would he shown MY dreamtail to the rest of the world! What do I do? I'm really sad, disappointed, frustrated and angry right now. I don't want someone else taking my dream design....

(This below is my signature)

[PhaylennMurúch]

Flyer I think that your problem is that you're hung up on an ideal. Your best friend in college wanted to be your best friend but you wanted something more. Release that 'relationship what if' because if you don't you will end up comparing every other relationship to it

[Merman Chatfish]

Flyer I think that your problem is that you're hung up on an ideal. Your best friend in college wanted to be your best friend but you wanted something more. Release that 'relationship what if' because if you don't you will end up comparing every other relationship to it

Yea I am defiantly more hung up on the idea of my college friend than the actual her. In my mind she was nicer and actually wanted to be friends, not just a friend because of pity (which she has said is the reason she first became my friend).
I have been trying to release it for years but so far to no success. Last summer while working at the pool became friends with a coworker and now I consider her my best friend. We both have expressed we like each other more than just friends (came up when she was saying how she doesn't think she will ever get married because she doesn't think she is attractive). Now I think about her more than the friend in college but she lives 2 states away and because of her age (16) my mom and my councilor do not like me being friends with out of worry her parents might say I did something and I get put on the sex offender registry.

[PhaylennMurúch]

it's called Jailbait for a reason, be friends with her but hold off on anything more (even online) emotional until she graduates, kwim?

I've found, in my work, that a lot of people who can't release an old relationship are focusing on releasing the person rather than the resentment that came out of it. My first BF (and only EX) tried to run me down with his car during the breakup, it took me years to recover from his abuse and longer to just let go because I resented the hell out of him and what his actions did to my life. Once I let go of the resentment things got much clearer

[Merman Chatfish]

it's called Jailbait for a reason, be friends with her but hold off on anything more (even online) emotional until she graduates, kwim?

I've found, in my work, that a lot of people who can't release an old relationship are focusing on releasing the person rather than the resentment that came out of it. My first BF (and only EX) tried to run me down with his car during the breakup, it took me years to recover from his abuse and longer to just let go because I resented the hell out of him and what his actions did to my life. Once I let go of the resentment things got much clearer

Yep that is what we are doing.

He tried to run you down!? Thats insane! People like that need to come with a warning sign: WARNING! This person is NUTS!

[PhaylennMurúch]

Yup, he was 100% batcrapcrazy. Still is, I know he still uses me as an excuse for his bad behavior.

[SeaMansa]

When people aren't on time....to an event they planned -______-

[Kitty Kyuppi]

A few weeks ago, I sent an email to my town's pools administration to ask if I could train in a pool with my tail, I properly explained everything about it.
They replied today, sending me the aqua gym classes schedule.... Why do we always have to deal with really dumb people in life? (￣△￣) meh

[Merman Chatfish]

A few weeks ago, I sent an email to my town's pools administration to ask if I could train in a pool with my tail, I properly explained everything about it.
They replied today, sending me the aqua gym classes schedule.... Why do we always have to deal with really dumb people in life? (￣△￣) meh

They probably just saw the word train and that was it.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Ugh! I am so upset... I don't even know how to feel, but my situation is causing me so much emotional stress and I just don't know how to deal with it. So, my sister, Kayla who I cannot stand at all... AT ALL, she's such a vile person. She's bullied me all my life, and she's only nice when she wants something. My parents know this. I have never really had my own room. I've always shared. Kayla is the one who's always had her own room because out of the two of us (Myself, my youngest sister Ciara), nobody wants to share a room with her. Now Kayla is getting her room taken away because she never cleans it. There were moldy dishes and bugs... Yuck. The original plan (of my mother) was to give Ciara Kayla's room and have Kayla move onto the back porch. Then my mom said Kayla was allowed to sleep in my room on the top bunk... WHY?! I feel like Im being punished. Ciara is getting her own room, which is wonderful, but now I have to deal with Kayla. I now have to sleep in the same room with the sister who has constantly bullied me about my health, about my absences from school, about my acne, and about me as a person. Not only that but she's known for stealing. Over the past month I've had over $40 dollars go missing... And now I have to share a room with her. (My moms explanation is that I've had my privacy long enough, this is because Ciara has been sleeping out on the couch. This is not my fault but my mom apparently thinks it to be... No matter how much I beg I have a feeling that Kayla once again will get her way and I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

[Merman Chatfish]

Well on back nights you could go to Ciara's room. Is Kayla mean to Ciara too?

[Mermaid Jaffa]

If Kayla were my sister, I'd slap her so hard it'd leave my wonderful and bright red hand print on her face, each time she insulted me.

What do you do when she bullies you? Do you fight back or go away and cry? If telling your parents don't do anything for you, its time to fight back. Not saying to resort to dirty tricks like she does, but each time she insults you, give her enough of a whack to hurt but not break. She'll soon get the message that if she hurts you, you'll hurt her back. That's the thing about bullies, they always pick on the weaker person, even more if the other person does not fight back. They think you're easy prey.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Well on back nights you could go to Ciara's room. Is Kayla mean to Ciara too?
Yes, she's basically mean to everyone. Ciara's nice enough to let me room with her when things get bad, but it just upsets me that Kayla is basically getting what she wants. And I know eventually this will become her room and shell be allowed in here all the time because I will not be in the room when she is.

[Mermaid Cascada]

If Kayla were my sister, I'd slap her so hard it'd leave my wonderful and bright red hand print on her face, each time she insulted me.

What do you do when she bullies you? Do you fight back or go away and cry? If telling your parents don't do anything for you, its time to fight back. Not saying to resort to dirty tricks like she does, but each time she insults you, give her enough of a whack to hurt but not break. She'll soon get the message that if she hurts you, you'll hurt her back. That's the thing about bullies, they always pick on the weaker person, even more if the other person does not fight back. They think you're easy prey.
Lol, that made me laugh so hard...
There have been a couple times where I do fight back and our fights become physical. I don't know where my strength comes from because I'm a weak person but I always overpower her. But the trouble with that is, I get in trouble. Where a my parents have kind of given up on Kayla and let her get way with her bullying.

[Merman Chatfish]

Lol, that made me laugh so hard...
There have been a couple times where I do fight back and our fights become physical. I don't know where my strength comes from because I'm a weak person but I always overpower her. But the trouble with that is, I get in trouble. Where a my parents have kind of given up on Kayla and let her get way with her bullying.

How old is your sister?

[Meronica]

How old are you and your sisters, if you don't mind me asking? If you're in your mid-late teens, take solace in the idea that one of you will be able to move out for college soon. Get out of the house when your sister is bugging you-- get a job, do some mermaid stuff, whatever.

My younger sister is the same way, with the sudden anger and bullying, and stealing clothes/money. All you can do is bite your lip and get away from her as much as possible. Hitting her will just get your parents to rush to her aid and that's even more frustrating. :/

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Hide a camera in your room, next time she starts up a fight with you, you have proof that you're not the one starting the fights.

[Mermaid Cascada]

I am 16, Kayla will be 16 in January, and Ciara is 14.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Thankfully my mother has said if Kayla begins to bully me then she will no longer be able to sleep in my room. However I think this is only temporary as she was going to let Kayla sleep here until KAYLA decided to sleep on the back porch -.- it's so frustrating. I'm planning on getting a job soon and I cannot wait... I already spend a lot of time in my room to get away from her and her sharing a room with me is just something I can't even wrap my head around.

[Meronica]

Two years will go by faster than you realize. (: It sucks that you guys are going to have to a share a room, but don't bother stooping to her level and ignore her when she's being a jerk. Also maybe invest in a small safe for your valuables. (:

[Mermaid Cascada]

I'm planning on buying a safe very soon. It's so hard to ignore her but it seems like that might be the only solution. Maybe even collecting the things she does in a notebook? It might convince my parents if they see the large amount of stuff she does.

[Raayvhen]

Looks like this might just be the end of this relationship.

[Mermaid Momo]

My last girlfriend actually got miffed at me because I didn't care that she wanted to go to the movies with her (male) best friend. I honestly didn't think that was something I needed to like, give permission for or something, but according to her I should be concerned about her and other guys. Meanwhile I'm just standing there like... Oh, well excuse me for having trust in you and faith in our relationship. I guess a ruder, bad boy guy would have forbid her going anywhere with another guy or something? Idk. Just went off a tangent there for some reason lol
I don’t think this has to do with her wanting you to be controlling, more so that she wanted you to be worried because it shows that you value her. I know I get a wave of pride and pleasure whenever my bf says he’s worried about my guy friends snatching me away because it means that I matter to him and he is worried about losing me. So basically, to me it feels like he cares whenever he gets worried about someone else catching my eye.


What do I do?
So a few weeks ago, some guy here wanted to do to free design drawings for members. So having sketched my dreamtail design so many times and not seeing the perfect one anymore, I asked him to try it and keep the design a secret since I did not wanted someone to come up with a similar design. . He did and showed me a rough sketch. I approved and he started on the detailed version. Then it was silent for 2 weeks, so I sent a mail and asked how it was going, and he said everything was going allright and the designs were almost finished. Then another silence for 2 weeks. So 2 days ago I mailed again. Turns out I don't get to see the design for over a year, because his art teacher wants to splace them on display for other people to see! I asked him to keep them a secret! Why on earth would he shown MY dreamtail to the rest of the world! What do I do? I'm really sad, disappointed, frustrated and angry right now. I don't want someone else taking my dream design....

(This below is my signature)

If it was free, then he holds all rights to the drawing still. He might have agreed not to share it, but there wasn’t an actual contract. I personally never show drawings people request to be private, mostly because I don’t do most for free and there is a fee people have to pay for private commissions :P (since it means I can’t post in a portfolio of any kind). Sure, it sucks, but hey that’s life. (Also, with free art you have to remember that you are getting a service for free and they also have life going on and are not obligated (by the fact that you paid and as such are in a contract) to get it done in a timely manner, though it’s my personal term of service to get it done asap, it’s different for every artist.) If you really want to see it, as him to email it to you.

Ugh! I am so upset... I don't even know how to feel, but my situation is causing me so much emotional stress and I just don't know how to deal with it. So, my sister, Kayla who I cannot stand at all... AT ALL, she's such a vile person. She's bullied me all my life, and she's only nice when she wants something. My parents know this. I have never really had my own room. I've always shared. Kayla is the one who's always had her own room because out of the two of us (Myself, my youngest sister Ciara), nobody wants to share a room with her. Now Kayla is getting her room taken away because she never cleans it. There were moldy dishes and bugs... Yuck. The original plan (of my mother) was to give Ciara Kayla's room and have Kayla move onto the back porch. Then my mom said Kayla was allowed to sleep in my room on the top bunk... WHY?! I feel like Im being punished. Ciara is getting her own room, which is wonderful, but now I have to deal with Kayla. I now have to sleep in the same room with the sister who has constantly bullied me about my health, about my absences from school, about my acne, and about me as a person. Not only that but she's known for stealing. Over the past month I've had over $40 dollars go missing... And now I have to share a room with her. (My moms explanation is that I've had my privacy long enough, this is because Ciara has been sleeping out on the couch. This is not my fault but my mom apparently thinks it to be... No matter how much I beg I have a feeling that Kayla once again will get her way and I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

Having to deal with a sister just like this once, she bullied me over the way I looked, over my hair, over how I didn’t have many friends, and stole money from me (I once save up $800 for a tail and she stole it and my mom refused to do anything, my dad tried but mom didn’t want him to punish her, because “maybe she just had the exact amount of money and Ronda lost hers, yada yada”)etc, I can only give you advice on what worked for me : I showed her that I didn’t care, and that nothing she said actually registered because I know it was mean of me but I made sure she knew that I held no value to anything she ever said to me. And I also beat the brakes off of her whenever she tried to show out too :P But anyway, the main reason why many people do things like this and be total douche bats is because either they want attention or they’re so uncomfortable being themselves that they draw attention to their acts instead of to themselves (my sister’s reason was both of those) Give her time to grow the Flipper up and don’t be afraid to stand your ground and show her that she can’t push you around. If she steals money of yours, confront her, if she mocks you, ignore her like she isn’t even there, don’t even look at her, but don’t actually avoid looking at her, just go about your day like you’re there alone and she isn’t there and only when she says something nice will you pay any attention to something she says.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Thankyou everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it! I'm not so stressed about the situation now, and it'll be easier to keep calm about it.

[coral_sybil]

I don't even know why I bother anymore or anyways! I'm continuously ignored. But that is both an okay thing and the most annoying thing in the world. There are times when I just want to be left alone, and others when I want to talk and socialize. But all the flipping time. Ignored, no comments, maybe someone will glance my way but nah. Ignored again.

Sometimes I swear i have a superpower. People forget I'm there. I've honestly had people ask me a question and when I turn to look at them to answer they are walking away forgetting they even said anything, or hell even fade out midsentence and walk away.

It's annoying. It's upsetting. It's like I'm less of a person because I cannot seem to exist in the same reality they do. Like I'm a friggin ghost playing house with everyone around me.

It pisses me off, and makes me want to cry at the same time.

[Merman Chatfish]

I don't even know why I bother anymore or anyways! I'm continuously ignored. But that is both an okay thing and the most annoying thing in the world. There are times when I just want to be left alone, and others when I want to talk and socialize. But all the flipping time. Ignored, no comments, maybe someone will glance my way but nah. Ignored again.

Sometimes I swear i have a superpower. People forget I'm there. I've honestly had people ask me a question and when I turn to look at them to answer they are walking away forgetting they even said anything, or hell even fade out midsentence and walk away.

It's annoying. It's upsetting. It's like I'm less of a person because I cannot seem to exist in the same reality they do. Like I'm a friggin ghost playing house with everyone around me.

It pisses me off, and makes me want to cry at the same time.

*Hug*. My guess is people see you as an introvert and treat you as such, which includes "just slowly back away they don't want to talk". Can't think of any advice to give though besides going up to the person and shake them shouting listen to what I have to say!

I felt the same way in elementary school, so I just faded away myself. Led to getting counciling and diagnosed with ADD.

I had a saying that also sounds like it would fit...When I sit with my friends I sit by myself, I sit by myself I sit with no one. That came up after I was eating lunch alone in middle school and a kid was causing trouble and a teacher made him sit at an empty table so he would stop causing trouble. Of course that empty table was mine.

[Mermaid Momo]

I don't even know why I bother anymore or anyways! I'm continuously ignored. But that is both an okay thing and the most annoying thing in the world. There are times when I just want to be left alone, and others when I want to talk and socialize. But all the flipping time. Ignored, no comments, maybe someone will glance my way but nah. Ignored again.

Sometimes I swear i have a superpower. People forget I'm there. I've honestly had people ask me a question and when I turn to look at them to answer they are walking away forgetting they even said anything, or hell even fade out midsentence and walk away.

It's annoying. It's upsetting. It's like I'm less of a person because I cannot seem to exist in the same reality they do. Like I'm a friggin ghost playing house with everyone around me.

It pisses me off, and makes me want to cry at the same time.

Usually when people trail off mid sentence and walk away, that means that they feel like whoever they're talking to isn't paying them any attention. So if you aren't looking at them when they're speaking, they'll assume you aren't listening or you don't care or they're annoying you and just deem it not worth their time or breathe to continue talking to someone who doesn't care.
And about being ignored when you talk, are you talking or are you mumbling? are you making your presence known in the group, or sort of lingering on the outskirts of it contributing a few sentences in a soft spoken, shakey, uncertain voice? When speaking in a larger group, you have to make sure to speak up, to make sure you speak with confidence, you have to demand that everyone listen to you. When you speak, you have to send the signal "It's my turn to talk now and you're going to listen"

[coral_sybil]

I am looking at them, they end walking away and looking away first. Usually i have something in my hand and I turn my head to look at them immediately. When I try to reach out to them and try to get them to finish they've honestly forgotten.

They end up talking over me in group setting even if I've been told to hush it because I'm getting excited.

[Mermaid Momo]

I am looking at them, they end walking away and looking away first. Usually i have something in my hand and I turn my head to look at them immediately. When I try to reach out to them and try to get them to finish they've honestly forgotten.

They end up talking over me in group setting even if I've been told to hush it because I'm getting excited.
okay first off if they're hushing you, you need to find some other people to hang around with because they're a-holes. Secondly, notice anything else people do when they walk away? what're they talking about? doing? maybe they got distracted? because that's odd and rude to just walk away.

[Echidna]

I'm tired of pools all giving me the "no fins and mermaid tails, in consideration of the normal users"-line.
It feels like I'm getting nowhere, because I found only one pool where I can really train.

What angers me is that all sort of crap gear is allowed into the pools (big corsets they jump around in, shoes huger than my small shortfins, frigging aquabikes), but as soon as you say "fin" they all close their minds down and give you standard answer bs.

Mentioning I've never hit another swimmer with my fin or my limbs, while in return, I've been struck by flailing frogkickers who didn't watch where they were going hundreds of times doesn't make a difference.
I'm half tempted to use those pools with some of the stuff they allow, and then go flail around uncoordinatedly like all the "normal users" do, and hit them nicely back.
They couldn't complain either, because I'm just another "normal user" :mad:

[Merman Chatfish]

I'm tired of pools all giving me the "no fins and mermaid tails, in consideration of the normal users"-line.
It feels like I'm getting nowhere, because I found only one pool where I can really train.

What angers me is that all sort of crap gear is allowed into the pools (big corsets they jump around in, shoes huger than my small shortfins, frigging aquabikes), but as soon as you say "fin" they all close their minds down and give you standard answer bs.

Mentioning I've never hit another swimmer with my fin or my limbs, while in return, I've been struck by flailing frogkickers who didn't watch where they were going hundreds of times doesn't make a difference.
I'm half tempted to use those pools with some of the stuff they allow, and then go flail around uncoordinatedly like all the "normal users" do, and hit them nicely back.
They couldn't complain either, because I'm just another "normal user" :mad:


Aquabikes!? Dang. As a lifeguard I am fine with fins and mermaid tails. What I don't like are inter tubes or anything really big that can block my view.

[Naufra]

If Kayla were my sister, I'd slap her so hard it'd leave my wonderful and bright red hand print on her face, each time she insulted me.

What do you do when she bullies you? Do you fight back or go away and cry? If telling your parents don't do anything for you, its time to fight back. Not saying to resort to dirty tricks like she does, but each time she insults you, give her enough of a whack to hurt but not break. She'll soon get the message that if she hurts you, you'll hurt her back. That's the thing about bullies, they always pick on the weaker person, even more if the other person does not fight back. They think you're easy prey.

@ Cascada: I propose a similar, but alternate strategy that I doubt you'll get in trouble for: laugh at her. Mock her pathetic attempts to insult you as cruelly as you possibly can. At first, she'll question your sanity and maybe your intelligence, and might redouble her efforts initially, but when she sees her insults continually failing to bother you she'll start to wonder if they have any effect. If you can keep it up long enough, and it does get easier as you go, she'll eventually give up, and may even lose a lot of self-esteem. I can tell you from personal experience that this method works, it has worked for me many times and I still use it when suitable. This strategy not only shows bullies that they have no power over you and blocks their attempts at manipulating your emotions, it also manipulates their emotions and allows you power over them. It's a double-header that you can't really get in trouble for as long as you only use it as a direct response to her bullying.

[PhaylennMurúch]

I'm so frustrated with our bank. I had it set up so they would direct deposit for electricity bill find out today they haven't paid the bill in two months. Now I have to put the money that I saved up for my tail into the bank so I can pay PG&E so they won't turn off our electricity tomorrow. I'm just so frustrated


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[AniaR]

Getting up early. Getting all my mer-gear on and together. Picking up another mermaid. Driving 40 minutes to venue. Finding out the client changed the party to TOMORROW without telling me, when I already have another party that day at the exact same time in another location. So, juggle mermaids around, figure out how to have both parties go at same time and make sure photographer is in right place. Write client, not only do they not apologize, they don't say thankyou for working it all out -_-

They had already paid in advanced and I'd already paid everyone and paid off the materials. Otherwise I'd have been like "sorry."

This is the SECOND time a client has changed date and not told me.... thank goodness the woman at the front desk was new and made us check in. They usually just let us go down and get ready!

[PhaylennMurúch]

Looks like it's time to toss a scheduling clause into the contracts so they have to notify you or they forfeit a portion of their payment


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[PearlieMae]

absolutely! My dentist does it, I do, too. A 50% kill fee, minimum.

[AniaR]

Yes that's a fintastic idea.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Or all of it, shit. That's just rude.


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[Anahita]

I'm actually really surprised you don't have a clause somewhere that basically says "too bad, you change it and forget to tell me, not my fault/problem. No refunds for that, and no rescheduling."

Even I have one in my scheduling contracts, despite not doing much performance work anymore. I learned quickly when I jumped from doing stuff for Iranians to doing stuff for non-Iranians that this was a problem. You'd think that the entertainment for an event would be the first people you tell after the venue and caterers that you changed the date, but nope.... People just don't give a shit, or they assume the venue will tell you, or that you'll magically find out.....

[AniaR]

In 5 years it only happened once and that was a few months ago. Trust me it is in there now!!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I live in an area where people basically worship their dogs and humans can go to hell. In my apartment complex, dogs live here and humans get to stay too. Every place in this area is like that. Most of these apartments have at least 2 dogs, and their owners are away during the day and just leave the dogs. I work from home, and it sounds like a freaking kennel. Dogs barking and/or howling non-stop all frigging day. And the dog fights. Constantly. I find dog hair everywhere—in my car, all over my front walkway—I DON'T HAVE A DOG!! There's a dog park, and then another park. People take their dogs to the "human" park to shit there so there's nowhere I can go without stepping in dog shit. And their attitude is if you don't bow down to the dogs than you're a horrible heartless, soulless person. I'd just like a day where I don't hear people's pets going mad in their apartments alone all day. I'd like to walk down the sidewalk without being lunged at by neighbor's pets, in front of my own place, and then get dirty looks from the owners like I did something wrong.

I love animals, but their owners are another story. And the next dog that lunges at me will get reported. If one more person says, "oh no he's friendly!" while their Kujo is snapping and growling at me, I'm going to lose it.

[Grey Gambit]

My upstairs neighbors recently got a second dog - AFTER the new apartment management sent out a revised rule list stating no pets. So now instead of one dog they leave alone during the day (and sometimes nights) there's a second one barking, howling, and scratching at doors. Only consolation is that it looks like they're trying to move out... or at least that's what they've been saying. Even though they've been "moving out" since April.

[Adalira]

In 5 years it only happened once and that was a few months ago. Trust me it is in there now!!

Good for you! So sorry that happened to you.
Unfortunatly artists are forgotten about A LOT.
It happens here to and it has happened to us plenty of times in the past many years.
It sucks that you need to make a clause for things like this but that is what's needed
Hope it helps in the future :-)

[AniaR]

Both of these were birthday bookings for the soul purpose of having mermaids lol

[Grey Gambit]

Both of these were birthday bookings for the soul purpose of having mermaids lol
Sounds like they assumed you were a psychic mermaid who would instantly know about the rescheduling. :P
Hopefully the new clause will clear things up for future bookings.

[Adalira]

I live in an area where people basically worship their dogs and humans can go to hell. In my apartment complex, dogs live here and humans get to stay too. Every place in this area is like that. Most of these apartments have at least 2 dogs, and their owners are away during the day and just leave the dogs. I work from home, and it sounds like a freaking kennel. Dogs barking and/or howling non-stop all frigging day. And the dog fights. Constantly. I find dog hair everywhere—in my car, all over my front walkway—I DON'T HAVE A DOG!! There's a dog park, and then another park. People take their dogs to the "human" park to shit there so there's nowhere I can go without stepping in dog shit. And their attitude is if you don't bow down to the dogs than you're a horrible heartless, soulless person. I'd just like a day where I don't hear people's pets going mad in their apartments alone all day. I'd like to walk down the sidewalk without being lunged at by neighbor's pets, in front of my own place, and then get dirty looks from the owners like I did something wrong.

I love animals, but their owners are another story. And the next dog that lunges at me will get reported. If one more person says, "oh no he's friendly!" while their Kujo is snapping and growling at me, I'm going to lose it.

I have a dog myself and am a dog lover....BUT....there are limits and boundaries that everyone needs to live by.
If these dogs are making your life miserable and unpleasant i say, report them.
It is up to the owners to make sure the dogs are doing well when they leave the appartment and leave the dogs all alone.
If their dogs are the kind that can't be left alone...they need to find a dog sitter for the day to entertain them or place them in a doggy daycare.
We live in the middle of a forest. The road iin our street is a dirt road, a private road, yet every weekend en even during the week people walk their dogs here....not even having them on a leash! And having them shit everywhere.
I have opened my mouth a few times telling them their dogs need to be on a leash. My god....they are in a forest with wild animals like deers, rabbits etc. They are obligated to have them on a leash....and don't even get me started on the dog poop!
I think i will invest some money in an official sign saying that this is a private road and another sign that says dogs need to be on a leash and dog poop has to be picked up.
It is unbelievable how ignorant dog owners can be!
So once again....i would say either talk to the dog owners and share your concern and see if it helps.
If it does not help, you have given them a fair warning and it is time to report them.
Good luck!

[Mermaid Cascada]

@ Cascada: I propose a similar, but alternate strategy that I doubt you'll get in trouble for: laugh at her. Mock her pathetic attempts to insult you as cruelly as you possibly can. At first, she'll question your sanity and maybe your intelligence, and might redouble her efforts initially, but when she sees her insults continually failing to bother you she'll start to wonder if they have any effect. If you can keep it up long enough, and it does get easier as you go, she'll eventually give up, and may even lose a lot of self-esteem. I can tell you from personal experience that this method works, it has worked for me many times and I still use it when suitable. This strategy not only shows bullies that they have no power over you and blocks their attempts at manipulating your emotions, it also manipulates their emotions and allows you power over them. It's a double-header that you can't really get in trouble for as long as you only use it as a direct response to her bullying.
thankyou for the advice :) I have been exceptionally kind to her and I laugh at her attempt to hurt me. Recently while we were in church, she was being extremely rude and she even ended up shoving me. She has had a horrid attitude and because of this my mom is removing her from my room until she's nicer. Seems like she caused her own self destruction. AND my mom and I have set some money out to see if she takes it. That is pretty much the deal breaker. If she takes the money she is out of a room. ^.^

[Mermaid Kelda]

That's fantastic! Glad to hear your mum is seeing her behaviour and acting on it. Hopefully this will be the start of an attitude change for her.

[Mermaid Cascada]

That's fantastic! Glad to hear your mum is seeing her behaviour and acting on it. Hopefully this will be the start of an attitude change for her.
Hopefully! When my mom told her that she was no longer allowed in my room, she replied with, "Good, I don't care". It's pretty obvious she does care.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I have a dog myself and am a dog lover....BUT....there are limits and boundaries that everyone needs to live by.
If these dogs are making your life miserable and unpleasant i say, report them.
It is up to the owners to make sure the dogs are doing well when they leave the appartment and leave the dogs all alone.
If their dogs are the kind that can't be left alone...they need to find a dog sitter for the day to entertain them or place them in a doggy daycare.
We live in the middle of a forest. The road iin our street is a dirt road, a private road, yet every weekend en even during the week people walk their dogs here....not even having them on a leash! And having them shit everywhere.
I have opened my mouth a few times telling them their dogs need to be on a leash. My god....they are in a forest with wild animals like deers, rabbits etc. They are obligated to have them on a leash....and don't even get me started on the dog poop!
I think i will invest some money in an official sign saying that this is a private road and another sign that says dogs need to be on a leash and dog poop has to be picked up.
It is unbelievable how ignorant dog owners can be!
So once again....i would say either talk to the dog owners and share your concern and see if it helps.
If it does not help, you have given them a fair warning and it is time to report them.
Good luck!


Thanks! There are a few dog owners who are really awesome with their dogs. But having a dog here is like the fashion accessary that is most necessary, and having multiple is like some kind of status symbol, and so many people aren't responsible with these living beings that require a lot of care and attention. It's awful.

[Fun123joker]

wasted and hour and my phone battery trying to post a vine. its so frustrating i could of spent that time working on my cosplay :mad:

[Mermaid Cascada]

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...

[Mermaid Momo]

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...
Well now that she is moving in, you need to lay out clear boundaries and rules, Let her know what's her side and what's yours, set rules for when she can be loud and when she can't, and if she attacks you, I say ignore her the first 2 times but let her have that back hand on the third. If she doesn't want to stay in her place, put her in it.

[Mermaid Momo]

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)

[Mermaid Cascada]

Well now that she is moving in, you need to lay out clear boundaries and rules, Let her know what's her side and what's yours, set rules for when she can be loud and when she can't, and if she attacks you, I say ignore her the first 2 times but let her have that back hand on the third. If she doesn't want to stay in her place, put her in it.
I can't even do that. If she moves in my parents will most likely scold me for trying to put down rules, when "it's her room too". This is the worst thing about it. I have no control over the situation. I feel like nothing I say or do will change anything and I will continue on this downward spiral. Honestly she could probably break my arm and my parents would place blame on me or not take the appropriate actions. I don't want to disrespect my parents but Kayla does not dude serve a room at all. If she wants to share a room with me her attitude should change. I don't understand why my parents have the physiology of: If Kayla is mean to you, even though your in the same room, even though she steals from you, ignore her for the next two years until you move out. Even thoug Kayla is undeserving of a room and even though she is mean, you can suffer so she can sleep in a room.
It's not even garunteed that I will move out in two years -.- Unfortunatley, I'd move out now if I could. I'm pretty sure that at this point. Even if she stole from me, in two hours she'd be allowed back in. I feel like saying: You know what mom and dad? If you want Kayla to sleep in a room other than the back porch because its cold, let her sleep in your room lol.

[Mermaid Cascada]

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)
That really sucks :( It seems that you are skilled in sewing? Maybe instead of making full Lolita dresses, start out with accessories, or cute animals with mini Lolita dresses? Perhaps that wouldn't be so stressing on your schedule and schooling?
You could even make gift baskets and sell them around your campus (?) or start selling candy grams.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Well, I guess I am back at square one... My dad told my mom that it's cold on the back porch (where Kayla now has to sleep) and he basically convinced her to let Kayla back into my room. o now I feel like my parents are both against me. My mother told me that I should ignore Kayla and kill her with kindness... I am sick and tired of this. You know what's cold? It's not the back porch, it's the way Kayla treats me. I get so stressed that I begin having chest pains (I have a heart condition it's not relevant but it's not random lol) over this. I handle stress well too. I'm known for keeping a cool head and I don't get stressed easily like this. It hurts :( It really does. Even after protesting to my mother she turned around and told Kayla that she could sleep in the room again. Not only that but Kayla is now calling it "my" room or "our" room. We were not supposed to share at all. The plan was for her to only sleep in there. But now her clothes are coming in and slowly so are her belongings. This isn't fair. I know life is not fair but this is just cruel.... My youngest sister gets her own room and I am forced to share a room with a horrible fiend of a sister. The worst part is, is that my own parents are putting me in this situation even they know it hurts me. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to be here, I want to run away or something. *sigh* I'd wait two more years until I can move but I seriously cannot handle her for two more years. She is a vile person. The only place I could get away from her was my room and now I can't even go there for peace. This sucks...

I hope this isn't odd but have you thought about talking to a school guidence counselor? I mean, if your living situation is so bad you feel like you would rather run away then maybe you need to bring in some sort of third party? There are probably a number of people you could call? It might take someone from the outside to help fix it. You are both teens and honestly, you shouldn't have to deal with this, ADULTS should. You are not yet an adult and should not have adult responsibilities dumped on you (I am refering to trying to deal with your misbehaving sister.) So if your parents won't do anything, maybe someone from school or some kind of social services could? If it is so bad it hurts you I think it would be appropriate.

(Sorry for wall of text ^^; )

[Mermaid Cascada]

I hope this isn't odd but have you thought about talking to a school guidence counselor? I mean, if your living situation is so bad you feel like you would rather run away then maybe you need to bring in some sort of third party? There are probably a number of people you could call? It might take someone from the outside to help fix it. You are both teens and honestly, you shouldn't have to deal with this, ADULTS should. You are not yet an adult and should not have adult responsibilities dumped on you (I am refering to trying to deal with your misbehaving sister.) So if your parents won't do anything, maybe someone from school or some kind of social services could? If it is so bad it hurts you I think it would be appropriate.

(Sorry for wall of text ^^; )
Hmmm I haven't considered that... I was hoping my parents would be parents lol. However, I am home bound do to my health conditions so I don't really have access to my counsler. Maybe I could call? I mean seriously, Kayla has only been in my room for two or three days and I'm already to this point. At the end of the week I will be a nervous wreck. I am going to have a serious talk with my mom tomorrow... It's ridiculous that my parents are disregarding me so Kayla can be comfortable -.- I certainly don't feel comfortable lol.

[JessieMermaid]

This may sound cruel to you at first but why don't you move on to the porch? Use some of your money to make it more habitable/comfortable for you. I know this time of year it will be freezing but I feel that if you do that it may show your parents how desperate you are to be rid of the psycho bitch sister? I had to do something similar when my YOUNGER sister terrorized me.....though eventually we reconciled and are like besties now.

[Mermaid Cascada]

This may sound cruel to you at first but why don't you move on to the porch? Use some of your money to make it more habitable/comfortable for you. I know this time of year it will be freezing but I feel that if you do that it may show your parents how desperate you are to be rid of the psycho bitch sister? I had to do something similar when my YOUNGER sister terrorized me.....though eventually we reconciled and are like besties now.
I've been consider this. There'd be absolutely no privacy but it's better than being in a room with her. Sadly I don't think my parents care, I'm starting to think they are doing this to avoid confrontation with Kayla, and they don't care enough about me to do something -.-

[Mermaid Lunette]

It definately sounds like you should bring in a third party to deal with it. In a way your parents are neglecting you so they can favor her. You should look up the local social/child services number and see if there is something they can do. Just make sure to be even more detailed about your sis and parents then you were here, so they can full access the bad situation.

[PhaylennMurúch]

Talk to a counselor, my armchair psychology degree (dr Google, and years of dealing with a narcissist parent) suspects that you may be living in a Golden Child/ scapegoat dynamic. This definitely needs to be discussed with a real professional


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[Merman Chatfish]

I make 7$ an hour before taxes and have been saving my money and have 7K in my checking account and 9K in CDs. I found out today that this coming year I am not covered under county health insurance because I have so much money in my accounts. My primary insurance company sucks* and its now going to cost me 400$ a year for psyotheropy. I know its not that much but still grr. You would think insurance companies would want to encourage you to go.

*before anyone starts with "well Obama said if you liked your insurance company you can keep it", I got off my parent's one this last summer when I turned 26.

[PearlieMae]

so dump all your savings into an IRA, and then sign up for the Affordable Care Insurance. 400 dollars a year is a little more than a buck a day. That's nothing! it cost me over 1,600 dollars to get one tooth fixed, and that was with insurance!

insurance companies don't care if you get better, all they care about is their bottom line and the money they can get to their shareholders.

[PhaylennMurúch]

I agree with pearlie,
We pay nearly $300 out of every paycheck DH gets and healthcare still costs us nearly 1,000 a year


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[Meronica]

Okay, now time for me to vent haha,
I am tired of being broke! I'm in my first year of university and I know I could expect to be broke, but I don't like it and it's nearly impossible finding a job in the tiny town that my school is located in! I know there are a few options for me to make some cash but there are some hold ups: option 1 is sell art and sewing commissions but commissions are very slow during school season. 2nd option is make premade lolita dresses and the holdup there is that I need money to spend on the materials for said dresses. 3rd option is to sell night wear and lingerie that I make but the same hold up as option 2. Option 4 is being a party fairy/princess... but I need money to make the costumes, and get off the ground. I need to spend money to make money and I don't have any money to spend. The 5th option was to start camming. I thought about doing it to help pay off my loans and nursing school and I know I would enjoy it but I talked to my bf about it and he wants me to keep that as a very last resort as in, I'm drowning in debt and I can't get food last resort and I want to respect his wishes (and not to mention I'd need privacy to make material to sell and when you share a room with a very conservative girl who never seems to leave even when you ask her.. that's nearly impossible)
For what it's worth, if you start making some cute lolita lingerie/day dresses, I would love to buy a few. (: (maybe even with a mermaid-themed print..?)

I can totally empathize with being a broke college student. I work a lame mall job to afford going out occasionally/mermaiding/my horse & clothing addictions. All of the jobs that pay a decent wage want you full-time, and these crap jobs don't even feel worth showing up to...

[Raayvhen]

So I know that breaking up with Ryan was the right thing to do.
I just hate that I’m going to be lonely for Christmas again.
I’ve also been feeling lonely the past few days. I don’t really have a lot friends I can do things with and now that I’m not dating anyone I can’t figure out how to fill my time. I know that the loneliness will pass in a few days but until then I just hate feeling so lonely.
I don’t know how to make friends and I really need to figure it out.
No matter how much I tell myself that I’m okay being alone I know it isn’t true.

[Merman Chatfish]

So I know that breaking up with Ryan was the right thing to do.
I just hate that I’m going to be lonely for Christmas again.
I’ve also been feeling lonely the past few days. I don’t really have a lot friends I can do things with and now that I’m not dating anyone I can’t figure out how to fill my time. I know that the loneliness will pass in a few days but until then I just hate feeling so lonely.
I don’t know how to make friends and I really need to figure it out.
No matter how much I tell myself that I’m okay being alone I know it isn’t true.


I read this first on tumbler. Im sorry about the breakup. I have trouble making friends too. *hug*. Your welcome to talk to us here, we may not be in person but we will be your friend.

[Princess Pearl]

This is just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy little vent, but dear GOD I'm sick of getting the "mermaid school" video sent to me on Facebook. I am very very happy my friends are supportive, but every time it comes up I can't help but think "gah, again!"

[Mermaid Meko]

Hey Guys :)

After some discussion elsewhere and with admins, we decided this seems the best and most appropriate place to post this comment:

I had a best friend, and we were close friends for almost 10 years.
We worked, played, performed, lived and toured together.
Until one day, really ugly Truth after Truth started turning up.
And I realized two things:
1 - the person i thought was my best friend had been lying to me for our entire relationship (about multiple, deep deep issues)
2 - many other people around me were also realizing the same thing about their interactions with her

After taking some space from her & seeing and experiencing all the damage and destruction she has caused,
I recently found out she is working her way into our mermaid community.
(Quite a shocking move from someone who once told me that she would never trade her dancing feet for fins....
but easier to understand if you imagine that person in your life who moves up however they can, whomever is in the way).
Through a unique set of circumstances, she will be attending MERFEST 2015.
It was only after I found out that she was attending that I decided to make this post at all.

While I believe that everyone has the right to be their self, make their own judgments, and express themselves freely;
I also believe that if you could have prevented someone from being hurt and didn’t at least try to stop it, then you bear part of the blame.

Hopefully this will just be a word of warning and taken as just and only that, but I am willing to take the risk.

This Mermaid Community was there for me when her choices hurt me. You all helped me (even if you didnt even know it!) move on and find something good in the world again.
I feel incredibly grateful, very lucky....and a bit protective of my all around the world MerFamily.
I don't ever want any of you being hurt!

So.
With all of that having been said:

If/When you come across the girl with a rainbow of stars falling over her left shoulder, a heart on her left wrist and a colorful tree on her right calf,
Swim carefully.
The ocean has enough sharks already.

If you have more questions/comments/concerns, please feel free to PM me and we can discuss it further there.

Much Love.

[Adalira]

Hey Guys :)

After some discussion elsewhere and with admins, we decided this seems the best and most appropriate place to post this comment:

I had a best friend, and we were close friends for almost 10 years.
We worked, played, performed, lived and toured together.
Until one day, really ugly Truth after Truth started turning up.
And I realized two things:
1 - the person i thought was my best friend had been lying to me for our entire relationship (about multiple, deep deep issues)
2 - many other people around me were also realizing the same thing about their interactions with her

After taking some space from her & seeing and experiencing all the damage and destruction she has caused,
I recently found out she is working her way into our mermaid community.
(Quite a shocking move from someone who once told me that she would never trade her dancing feet for fins....
but easier to understand if you imagine that person in your life who moves up however they can, whomever is in the way).
Through a unique set of circumstances, she will be attending MERFEST 2015.
It was only after I found out that she was attending that I decided to make this post at all.

While I believe that everyone has the right to be their self, make their own judgments, and express themselves freely;
I also believe that if you could have prevented someone from being hurt and didn’t at least try to stop it, then you bear part of the blame.

Hopefully this will just be a word of warning and taken as just and only that, but I am willing to take the risk.

This Mermaid Community was there for me when her choices hurt me. You all helped me (even if you didnt even know it!) move on and find something good in the world again.
I feel incredibly grateful, very lucky....and a bit protective of my all around the world MerFamily.
I don't ever want any of you being hurt!

So.
With all of that having been said:

If/When you come across the girl with a rainbow of stars falling over her left shoulder, a heart on her left wrist and a colorful tree on her right calf,
Swim carefully.
The ocean has enough sharks already.

If you have more questions/comments/concerns, please feel free to PM me and we can discuss it further there.

Much Love.

I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you :( It is such an awful and sad experience when someone you share everything with turns out to be someone they are not.
Unfortunatly i will not be attending Merfest, i wish you a lot of strenght in the time coming.
Big mer hug coming your way! :hug:

[Adalira]

Let me start by saying: HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you :)
If any of you were lighting up fireworks, i hope you were all safe!

Unfortunatly i have not been on here much lately. My health has not been the way it should have been :-( and i was very busy at the same time before christmas to get all of our orders out in time.
Something pretty awfull happened last night and i am hoping i can get some opinions from all of you out there cause i am very upset, sad and i am starting to doubt myself.
So in septembre i opened up my Etsy shop. I was so proud that i took the big step (i already wanted to open an Etsy shop for so long but for some reason was terrified of doing so).
My sales have been going well and i have gotten a lot of compliments about my work through private messages, even had some customers buying a second time already since they loved the items so much.
Anyway, last night (yes on new years eve) i got an email from a woman in the US that she was unhappy with her purchase.
It was evening time for us in the Netherlands and i was celebrating new years with my family when i received the message.
The woman was very hurtful in her message to me and i instantly got a stomache ache when i read it.
I got up from the dinner table and went on my families computer so i could reply to her asap.
This is what she wrote me:

I want to return this item...not what I want...looks cheap and dangerous for kids...beads and glitter on cheap wooden stick...they will eat it. How do I return it?

Off course i understand that not everyone will be happy with a purchase but the way she said it was very hurtful to me it felt like a personal attack to the way i design and make my items.
Anyway, i emailed her back on Etsy in the most professional way that i could, letting her know that she could off course return the item if she was not satisfied. Simply trying to help her asap.
I did mention that if she would have told us that the Magic Wand she purchased was for a little kid who puts things in his mouth and eats it i would have told her not to buy it.
I so not have children myself nor do i have motherly instinct but i know not to buy pointy objects for children who put things in their mouths. After i emailed her i went back to celebrating New Years Eve with my family. About 25 minutes before midnight i checked my messages on facebook since my in laws live in the US and they normally write something for new years and i wanted to see if they had already done so. What i saw shocked me....the same woman had also written a very hurtful message on our facebook page for the whole world to see, then also written it as a private message. My heart dropped and my stomache ache got really bad. I literally felt sick to my stomache about what i read. This is the message she posted on facebook:

I recieved a wand today and it is not acceptable....I ordered it thinking I was getting a Harry Potter wand..."w" like I ordered for my other gkids. this one is on a wooden stick with glitter and a few beads and is in no way safe for children...they will eat the glitter, the glue and the beads that are stuck on with glue...I am not crafty but I think I could have done a better job. How can I return it...it is from a foreign country!! I truly thought I was on another website and must have got routed here...


I feel this message was a direct attack at us and very hurtfull. I instantly went back on the computer and looked on Etsy to get her personal email adress and wrote to her a second time. I copy pasted the message from Etsy that i had written to her earlier and than added some more lines in it. I was so hurt and decided to share that with the customer.
I told her that it was very hurtful to read such a message on our facebook page and i also told her it was very close to midnight for us in the Netherlands, to start the new year off with an insult to my work was very hurtfull. I probably should not have written it but i felt beyong hurt and publically himiliated by her. I honestly do not get where her anger is coming from.
In the big message on facebook she wrote that she wanted a Harry Potter wand, which are normally plane brown colored wands with shaped to it. Off course i understand that my Magic Wands are anything but that. However she could have seen the glitter, rinestones etc in the photos when she purchased a Magic Wand. She chose the color "copper" herself as well.
How can it be my fault that she went to our Etsy shop, bought a copper colored magic wand with glitters on it, rinestones etc and then is unhappy that it is a magic wand with glitter and rinestones.
I also explained to her in the first message that we put a lot of time, love and dedication into each Magic Wand and that it is all done by hand. Anyway shortly after midnight me and my husband returned home. I asked my husband to be honest and honestly tell me if my work is really as bad as this woman claims and he told me that it is not.
Isn't it weird that even though you may get 100 or even thousands of compliments that the 1 hurtfull message will stick and will make you doubt everything you do?
If you think the story ends here...then you are wrong lol
So i was back home after midnight and on facebook writing to my in laws (who then called us which was lovely) and talking to a close friend of mine as well.
I then checked our facebook page only to find that this woman also gave us a very bad review on facebook and 1 out of 5 stars!
My husband changed our facebook page since i already am not a fan of the reviews as it is (even though they were all great before this woman got on our page) and he changed it so people can no longer leave reviews on there.
Here is what she wrote:

The wand I got was cheap and dangerous for children. I want to return it...or throw it in trash.

Once again, i do not understand why she is so upset and angry. I replied to her message on Etsy so quickly after she wrote it to help her. What could possibly possess someone to do this? Does anyone here have any experience with situations like this?
She also claims she had no idea we are located in the Netherlands even though this information is in every ad we post on Etsy. She will most likely be very upset once she finds out how much shipping is to the Netherlands.
My mother in law told me to have her ship the magic wand back to her and she will send the wand back to us when she sends us a package from the US and even though in any other case i would have liked that option....this woman was so hurtful that i don;t feel like being all that helpfull anymore with her.
My other question to you all is more like a request: Could any of you please go to my Etsy shop and let me know what you think of my Magic Wands? Could you let me know if the photos do not show that there are glitters on there and gemstones/rinestones?
And if you feel my work is very bad/ugly or anything like that, even with my Earwings, notebooks, stained glass work or whatever...please let me know.

I already realise that one thing i need to work on in the new year is to let go of things. To not take things as personal.
At the moment however i am completly confused and doubting my work. Any advice or help from any of you is most appreciated.
It is 1pm over here and i had the most awful night where i had a headache that started to turn into a migraine and a big stomache as well so for today i am taking a personal day and staying in bed to relax.

[SummerRogue]

I think maybe you could say in the description that they are not really suitable for very small children but after that there isn't any thing wrong with your etsy :)

[Mermaid Lunette]

BLUNT TIME!

That woman has no real basis for a refund at this point. SHE is the one that made a mistake and is blaming you for not realizing what she bought. That is like someone going to a bakery, buying a chocolate chip cookie and then going online ranting about how they wanted a sugar cookie instead saying nonsense about not seeing the clearly visible chocolate chips all in it.

You etsy is GORGEOUS, and those wands CLEARLY show there is stuff on them. Also, she keeps saying she wants to retunr it as if she doesn't know how or was not contacts when you replied within minutes.. There is a chance she actually loves it but wants to keep her money, so she does not ACTUALLY want to return it, she might just be acting badly in hopes you will just give her money back so she can have the product AND her cash. When I worked at kroger I saw this all the time, people would act carpy so that managment would just cave and give them what they want despite it obviously just being so they could get something free/cheaper.

The item was not damaged, the item was shown clearly in pictures, you did not say the items were for children (although, I agree, maybe say in description specifically not fot lil kids.) And it arrived on time and in one piece. If she does not return the item in like-new condition than she has no basis to get a refund, in my opinion.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Your photos are good and clearly show that they have glitter and rhinestones on them. Any person with half a brain would know they aren't suitable for children so young that they would eat them :\

This woman is obviously an idiot, so all you can do is explain yourself (which you have done), offer the refund, then forget about her. Such people don't deserve your thoughts!

Hopefully she doesn't go as far as opening a complaint with Etsy. Even if she does, I'm positive it would go nowhere, but it'd be an extra headache for you.

[PearlieMae]

Screw her! Honestly, if she couldn't be bothered to actually look at the photo, read the description or see that your price is listed in Euros, then she is a stupid, bitter, idiot. The wands are lovely, and obviously not for little kids! What kind of dumbass gives a small child a pointed stick??? And she seems like the kind off person who isn't happy unless she's complaining. Forget her!

Anyone who buys anything handmade on Etsy should remember "caveat emptor", let the buyer beware...she has a responsibility to research what she is buying. I just feel bad for the kid whose mother is such an idiot!

Have her return it to your family in the US and refund her money and be done with the bitch... what an asshole! I've been on Etsy for nearly ten years and have found that you just can't make some people happy. Your best response is to refund and forget her. You are obviously a very sensitive person and you have to develop a thick skin to deal with idiots like her. I know how one negative comment can derail a thousand compliments, but you have to just move ahead and let it go.

Just add "not for small children" and "contains small parts" to your listings. Good luck and happy new year!

[Adalira]

Thank you guys soooo much! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes....i really am! :hug:
I agree that it is best to have the extra line about it not being suitable for kids in the decription, even though it speaks for itself it is better to ad it so people can not complain later.
That was great advice!
In stead of being in bed all day i have been working on my Etsy shop for hours now and also changed the description.
I have added the following to the Magic Wands:

"Warning: extensive training needed in order to successfully combat Dark Wizards.

Please note that Magic Wands are not suitable for very small children who still put objects in their mouths. Even though all the small decorations on the Magic Wand are secured very strongly, there is always a danger when small children start chewing on a Magic Wand not to mention all the spells that may accidentally shoot out of them. "

I also had to change all the shipping prices in each and every ad since the Dutch postal service decided to raise all their prices from January 1st :mad:

By the way, my husband and a friend also both said to me that she most likely wants to keep it to either copy it herself or just to keep it for free.
They felt the way she had written and the amount of messages everywhere from her almost make it seem like she does this more often.
I just hope she does not post a bad review on Etsy cause that will make me look very bad :-(

[Adalira]

Screw her! Honestly, if she couldn't be bothered to actually look at the photo, read the description or see that your price is listed in Euros, then she is a stupid, bitter, idiot. The wands are lovely, and obviously not for little kids! What kind of dumbass gives a small child a pointed stick??? And she seems like the kind off person who isn't happy unless she's complaining. Forget her!

Anyone who buys anything handmade on Etsy should remember "caveat emptor", let the buyer beware...she has a responsibility to research what she is buying. I just feel bad for the kid whose mother is such an idiot!

Have her return it to your family in the US and refund her money and be done with the bitch... what an asshole! I've been on Etsy for nearly ten years and have found that you just can't make some people happy. Your best response is to refund and forget her. You are obviously a very sensitive person and you have to develop a thick skin to deal with idiots like her. I know how one negative comment can derail a thousand compliments, but you have to just move ahead and let it go.

Just add "not for small children" and "contains small parts" to your listings. Good luck and happy new year!


Thank you so much Paerlie Mae! Any advice on how to develop a thick skin? Any exercises i can do for that mentally or anything? I would love to get some thicker skin and not let it bother me as much!

[PearlieMae]

don't worry, one bad review will not ruin you.

[PearlieMae]

I don't want to tell you that you have to develop a thicker skin through experience, because that would just be terrible. Just realize that her entire life is probably miserable and it's not your fault. If you don't care about getting the wand back, refund her money immediately and put her out of your mind. Otherwise, wait until she sends it back. If she lodges a complaint with Etsy, they will see what a dummy she is. She doesn't deserve to have one of your wands!

[SeaGlass Siren]

Wow this woman is stupid... Why are you letting your children gnaw on stuff in the first place?

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Wow this woman is stupid... Why are you letting your children gnaw on stuff in the first place?

Because they're beavers!:lol:

[Starfrit]

Adalira, let me start by saying that your wands (and everything else in your shop; the steam punk ear wings are incredible!) are very beautifully done. The pictures show them clearly.

It sounds to me like you ran into an idiot mom who doesn't know how Etsy works— she clearly didn't look at the picture, and... What is the deal with her bringing up the fact that it's coming from a "foreign country"??? If shed used that squishy mass between her ears to check the shipping information, she would have seen where it was coming from.

This incident and her review reflects more on her incompetence than the quality of your work. Honestly I don't even know how she managed to place an order in the first place without... Apparently looking at anything.

[Adalira]

Thank you so much for all of your positive words!
I am still unsure of what has happened with this woman. I checked her facebook page to see if she has been online at all and she has been posting on her facebook page mulitple times since then.
But for some reason she has not read my 2 emails to her or simply dos not want to respond.
I do not believe the woman when she states that she did not look correctly or anything like that since when someone wants to purchase a magic wand they have to choose a color in the order form and she chose Copper #14.
Therefor she did look at something. Maybe she only looked at the options form when she ordered in stead of the actual photo...who knows....plenty of idiots out there.
Last night (i think around 2 or 3 am in the morning) i did write an email to Etsy to let them know what was going on and i included her messages in the email as well.
I also asked Etsy if the woman is allowed to write a review on Etsy with just anything she wants without communicating with me at all.
I am truly thankful for all of the honesty i have gotten from all of you and the advice (which i immediatly took to heart and added the "not safe for children" thing with the magic wands, and if any of you feel i need to add some more info in my ads or if i am doing something wrong on Etsy please let me know.
I am always open to critisism and very much willing to learn.
Thank you again to my merfamily! :hug::mermaid kiss:

[PearlieMae]

Because they're beavers!:lol:

hey now! That is clearly an insult to beavers. ;)

[Mermaid Momo]

@Adalira:

I suggest the same thing Pearlie says, just refund her, BUT I also suggest commenting on the post she made on her page. Something along the lines of " Hello, I'm sorry you feel that way. I've sent you messages at both your etsy, email, and here on facebook and have yet to recieve a reply. Please message me on any of those platforms and we can get something sorted out. Thank you." Make sure you don't let your emotions get in the way when you comment/reply to her. (think retail worker who has a smile on their face all the time. That has to be you now.) I also think that if she replies to you, gently mention that you do not sell harry potter wands and that your wands are not intended for small children and shouldn't be given/bought for them as gifts.
And Like Pearlie says, just a thicker skin is basically the only thing you can do to make this hurt less. I haven't gotten a bad review yet, but I know that won't last forever haha.
Also, I think you should keep the review section of your page up :) It's a good tool to use where all of your happy customers can leave their praise. One bad review won't kill your image, mostly if it's the only review, it'll make happy customers visiting the page see they can leave a review and notice that you've got a bad one and write even more praise in their review for you.

[Adalira]

LOL Pearliemae! :lol:

@Draggersprez: Thank you for all you support and advice! I definitly need to work on getting a thicker skin and to not take things so personal. That is a news years resolution i will be working on this year for sure!
Also i will refund the woman like i already told her in my first message to her. But only if she returns the wand and only after i have received the wand.
I will even let her ship it to my mother in law if that will avoid a lot of drama.
But i will not refund her AND let her keep the magic wand for several reasons:
1: like PearlieMae said....she does not deserve one of my magic wands
2: i will not be bullied into refunding and letting customers keep it...you dont like the item? Send it back and get a refund. They can not have it both ways
3: If i do refund her AND let her keep the magic wand...who is to say she won't start doing the same thing to other Etsy shops or maybe already has done that?
What if she tells a friend or more friends about it that harassing shops with messages and bad reviews will not only give you a refund but also lets you keep the item.
That is something i am not willing to risk.
I have seen my share of nut jobs out there.
I have been in show business all my life and when i was about 14 or 15 i was not on stage yet but doing back stage work and selling tickets at the shows. This one night a man comes to the cash register and tells us his friend could not make it so he wanted a refund for the ticket. We told him it was sold out and he could not refund it 30 minutes before the show. He got upset and started to make a fuzz and a scene with people looking. So i told him to hand me the ticket over...i was tempted to simply refund him to make him go away....i looked at the ticket and guess what....it was a free ticket that he won at a radio show!!! He was trying to get money for a ticket he did not even pay for! A promotion ticket!
I looked at him and simply said;" This is a free ticket you won at a radio show. You want us to refund you a free ticket? We can not do that." People started looking at him now and he walked into the venue all embarrassed.
This was many years ago and i have seen many many people pull all kinds of tricks...even people i know personally who were going to a store and making a big fuzz about how something broke and they did not have a receipt or anything and they made such a fuzz that they got a complete new item (in one of the cases a laptop!). That really pisses me off so i want to make sure never to simply cave when people make a scene.
As far as the review section...there is a review section on my Etsy page and that is more than enough for me lol.
My husband removed the one on Facebook and i am very happy he did. I did not like that thing to begin with even though i got mostly only 5 and 4 stars ( i think only 1 three star).
I looked around on facebook and saw that other big pages that have very popular stored on Etsy also don't have the review option on there facebook page so i am fine with not having one :)

[Mermaid Lunette]

LOL Pearliemae! :lol:

@Draggersprez: Thank you for all you support and advice! I definitly need to work on getting a thicker skin and to not take things so personal. That is a news years resolution i will be working on this year for sure!
Also i will refund the woman like i already told her in my first message to her. But only if she returns the wand and only after i have received the wand.
I will even let her ship it to my mother in law if that will avoid a lot of drama.
But i will not refund her AND let her keep the magic wand for several reasons:
1: like PearlieMae said....she does not deserve one of my magic wands
2: i will not be bullied into refunding and letting customers keep it...you dont like the item? Send it back and get a refund. They can not have it both ways
3: If i do refund her AND let her keep the magic wand...who is to say she won't start doing the same thing to other Etsy shops or maybe already has done that?
What if she tells a friend or more friends about it that harassing shops with messages and bad reviews will not only give you a refund but also lets you keep the item.
That is something i am not willing to risk.
I have seen my share of nut jobs out there.
I have been in show business all my life and when i was about 14 or 15 i was not on stage yet but doing back stage work and selling tickets at the shows. This one night a man comes to the cash register and tells us his friend could not make it so he wanted a refund for the ticket. We told him it was sold out and he could not refund it 30 minutes before the show. He got upset and started to make a fuzz and a scene with people looking. So i told him to hand me the ticket over...i was tempted to simply refund him to make him go away....i looked at the ticket and guess what....it was a free ticket that he won at a radio show!!! He was trying to get money for a ticket he did not even pay for! A promotion ticket!
I looked at him and simply said;" This is a free ticket you won at a radio show. You want us to refund you a free ticket? We can not do that." People started looking at him now and he walked into the venue all embarrassed.
This was many years ago and i have seen many many people pull all kinds of tricks...even people i know personally who were going to a store and making a big fuzz about how something broke and they did not have a receipt or anything and they made such a fuzz that they got a complete new item (in one of the cases a laptop!). That really pisses me off so i want to make sure never to simply cave when people make a scene.
As far as the review section...there is a review section on my Etsy page and that is more than enough for me lol.
My husband removed the one on Facebook and i am very happy he did. I did not like that thing to begin with even though i got mostly only 5 and 4 stars ( i think only 1 three star).
I looked around on facebook and saw that other big pages that have very popular stored on Etsy also don't have the review option on there facebook page so i am fine with not having one :)

So glad to hear it ^_^ I was worried this temper tantrum having jerk might get a refund and keep the item, so glad that is not the case. Hope the rest on the interactions are less of a headache now ^^

[Adalira]

I received an email from Etsy today and they said that if the woman will open a case against me that they will be on my side.
I explained how i handled the situation and she said that if i handled it the way i said i did, i have handled it professionally.
From the replies you gave me i think quite a few of you have Etsy shops yourselfs, am i correct?
For all of you that do and have a facebook page for you shop as well....i found a new app with which you can connect your Etsy shop to your facebook page and people can purchase items from your etsy shop through facebook and it is free.
I installed it today to my page.
If anyone is interested you can go to my facebook page and check it out and download it yourselfs as well.
It may increase sales for you.
You can find it under the tab "shop" on my page and also on the left side on my page under "apps"
https://www.facebook.com/FairyMeShop
Hope it can help some of you :)

[Mermaid Kelda]

I'm glad etsy have backed you up!
That app is neato - if I ever make a FB page for my store I'll definitely find use in it :) thanks for the tip!

[Fun123joker]

ok hun. i bet she i lying about "not able to see the glitter and rhinestones."
i bet she is one of those moms who first dont pay attention and make assumptions and after they bought it then they get mad.
why is she mad and maybe lying? because she probably knows that she is wrong but she dosnt want to admit it and has to be right

[Adalira]

@Mermaid Melaina
You are very welcome :-)

@ Fun123joker
I agree with you. The strange thing is that new years eve she was writing messages and leaving a review like no tomorrow like she was in a rage.
Now i have heard nothing from her.
Here comes the tricky part: In my return policy on Etsy i have it written that customers can ship an item back within 2 days after receiving the item....i have heard nothing and have no idea if she has shipped it back already or not.
What to do next? What if she does not answer until a week from now and wants to return it then? I want to be strict on it and say" Sorry, you missed your change" but on the other hand...what if that gives her another rage? Who knows what she will do next?

[Mermaid Lunette]

@Mermaid Melaina
You are very welcome :-)

@ Fun123joker
I agree with you. The strange thing is that new years eve she was writing messages and leaving a review like no tomorrow like she was in a rage.
Now i have heard nothing from her.
Here comes the tricky part: In my return policy on Etsy i have it written that customers can ship an item back within 2 days after receiving the item....i have heard nothing and have no idea if she has shipped it back already or not.
What to do next? What if she does not answer until a week from now and wants to return it then? I want to be strict on it and say" Sorry, you missed your change" but on the other hand...what if that gives her another rage? Who knows what she will do next?

Etsy already said they were on your side yes? And if it is in your policy then she should have paid attention. You can be proffesional about it and say "I am sorry ma'am, but you have missed the dead line in my policy ,outlined when you need to return the item in order to get a refund." And leave it at that. I mean, if she bullies you know and you bend your policies now then you might meet another bad customer and it will just be a. Visious circle of having to bend your own rules for adults throwing temper tantrums.

And it will encourage them to behave the same way to other etsy owners.

[Adalira]

Etsy already said they were on your side yes? And if it is in your policy then she should have paid attention. You can be proffesional about it and say "I am sorry ma'am, but you have missed the dead line in my policy ,outlined when you need to return the item in order to get a refund." And leave it at that. I mean, if she bullies you know and you bend your policies now then you might meet another bad customer and it will just be a. Visious circle of having to bend your own rules for adults throwing temper tantrums.

And it will encourage them to behave the same way to other etsy owners.

You hit the hammer on the nail with everything you said and especially your last line.
She will do it to other shops as well and i would not want to be the start of that.
Etsy told me that they are "behind me" as we cold it, so supporting my shop policies and that if the woman opens up a case against me and i can show them that i provided good customer service to her, then Etsy will do whatever they can to help me.
She said that it could be that this woman is new on Etsy and that she was not paying attention to any of the information that was given to her when she made a purchase.
She also said she took a look at my shop and that she can see i don't have a lot of reviews yet fomr customers and that in the future i should ask customers to write one when they are happy with a purchase.
I never thought to ask customers about a review but i will in the future. I am not sure how to go about it though. Maybe i should write it in the message i sent them when i have shipped out an item....somethig to think about...

[Mermaid Meko]

Adalira - keep being you.

There will always be grumps out there and people who don't read or pay attention and blame other for their lack of awarenes....

But you? There will only ever be one amazing woman who creates beautiful 'toys' with love and dedication for children and adults alike.
You spread love and magic.
Dont ever forget that! :)

[Adalira]

Adalira - keep being you.

There will always be grumps out there and people who don't read or pay attention and blame other for their lack of awarenes....

But you? There will only ever be one amazing woman who creates beautiful 'toys' with love and dedication for children and adults alike.
You spread love and magic.
Dont ever forget that! :)

Mermaid Meko.......I'm speechless....thank you so much! You are too kind..... :hug:

[Mermaid Momo]

Do you have business cards Adalira? If you do, you can write on the back of them something about leaving a review on. Usually when I buy something (either from etsy, or from other small business owners) they include a business card in the package and a small little hand written quick thank you for ordering note that asks for reviews. I do this too, since I haven't made new business cards, I invest in cute stationary and write small thank you notes to include in orders and a reminder to leave a review.

[Adalira]

Do you have business cards Adalira? If you do, you can write on the back of them something about leaving a review on. Usually when I buy something (either from etsy, or from other small business owners) they include a business card in the package and a small little hand written quick thank you for ordering note that asks for reviews. I do this too, since I haven't made new business cards, I invest in cute stationary and write small thank you notes to include in orders and a reminder to leave a review.

Thank you, i really like the idea.
I do have business cards but they have old information on them. I do write a hand written letter for each customer with a thank you and a small fun story about the magic wands or earwings or what else they have purchased. I like the idea very much of including the review request in that letter.
How would i remind them of a review though. something like:" if you are happy with your purchase, please feel free to share it on Etsy in our review section." ? Something like that?
It's 2.15 am over here so it's bedtime for me :-)
Draggersprez....did you see the shop app for facebook i posted today? Maybe it's something for you if you have a facebook page for your shop?

[Fun123joker]

i just need to vent

im gonna try to make this short because the details are longer then the anger i can express.

my family went to dinner except for my oldest sister and i. apperntly my parents got in a fight with my other sister. my mom told us not to get involved but is trying to get us involved! she wanted my oldest sister to stalk my other sister's facebook to see if she posted anything. my oldest sister refused to get involved and my mom is still demanding that she do it my siblings told me that my dad is gonna sit me down tomorrow and ask me about my future career planes (im a 15 y/o girl). so i get really nervous and preparing what im gonna say and then i asked my siblings how my dad told them because my dad didnt tell me, just my siblings.

apparently im going to be used to prove my dad's point that we keep secrets from them and only tell eachother stuff. which is not true! i always told my parents i want to go into physical therapy but they just wont listen! this makes me so mad i wanna cry about how they are gonna use me. too bad thier experiment was tainted but now im really hurt. i dont want to get involved with anything of thier argument but im gonna be forced to! that and they are probably gonna expect me to prove thier hypothesis right. ugh i just hope this will be quick because this akwardness is gonna last atleast all weekend

[Naufra]

Fun123joker, when your dad asks about your career plans say these exact words: "I want to be a physical therapist, just like I've been telling you." It's important that you stick with what you've been saying and remind them that you've already told them about it before. Be very careful not to come across like you have an attitude, because that would make the situation worse, but be honest. You can disprove his paranoia without getting yourself or anybody else in trouble if you're careful. Good luck!

[Echidna]

Could any of you please go to my Etsy shop and let me know what you think of my Magic Wands?

Just chiming in here:
Your stuff is really pretty.
I've seen my share of wands, and I think yours have a certain magical vibe :)

Also, anyone with eyes can see what they are like (and that the shop is in the Netherlands).
You absolutely shouldn't let such a stupidity get to you.

You were far too polite and patient with that...customer.
But that only means you're a professional. :)

[Adalira]

@Echidna: Thank you so much :-) That brought a big smile on my face! :hug:

@123Joker: I agree with Naufra, stay calm and tell them exactly what you want.
I have had a "talk" with my family when i was in my early twenties. I was forced into it and it was beyond rediculous. Also in my case i had been telling them what i wanted to do and yet nobody was listening.
In my case it were my parents, brother and his girlfriend against me and they were anything but friendly. I got the whole:" Where do you think your life is going" crap.
I was actually designing and sketching in my room when they called me to come in for a talk. I was baffled.
But i stuck to what i wanted to do and them treating me that way and wanting to try and change my mind on my future....only made me more detirmend and made me stronger in the end.
Try and look at this experience as a learning experience. This is your chance to speak, your moment to show and tell them what you want your future to look like. Stay calm and strong.
Know that you are unique in this world and you are free to choose the path that makes you happy.
We are all here for you, if it helps you can picture us in the room with you backing you up :)
Big hug to you :hug:

[Carolina Mermaid]

I'm so pissed off right now and I really need to vent.

1st: I get a letter from the college that I had just finished transferring from, and they tell me that I am now on academic probation (screw you Lander professors and my advisor)
2nd: after learning about the probation I talk to my mother and she tells me that it will probably affect my student loans and I may not be able to take but one class...
3rd: Trident doesn't open until the 5th and I am having issues with my school email and have no way to contact anyone to find out if I'm even going to be able to go Trident and take classes.
4: And to top everything off today we just learned that my great grandmother just had a stroke, and the hospital she is in took 3 DAYS to even take a look at her.

Had to get that off of my chest, maybe now I can try to sleep. Even though I have not slept in 36 hours.

[Adalira]

I'm so pissed off right now and I really need to vent.

1st: I get a letter from the college that I had just finished transferring from, and they tell me that I am now on academic probation (screw you Lander professors and my advisor)
2nd: after learning about the probation I talk to my mother and she tells me that it will probably affect my student loans and I may not be able to take but one class...
3rd: Trident doesn't open until the 5th and I am having issues with my school email and have no way to contact anyone to find out if I'm even going to be able to go Trident and take classes.
4: And to top everything off today we just learned that my great grandmother just had a stroke, and the hospital she is in took 3 DAYS to even take a look at her.

Had to get that off of my chest, maybe now I can try to sleep. Even though I have not slept in 36 hours.

Oh no! :( I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a stressfull time!
Just remember that life throws challenges at you to make you stronger and for you to learn from.
Life never gives you lessons you can not handle.
In the end it will make you stronger.
As far as the student loans go...will you be able to get money in some other way to pay for classes you need?
Like loan money from your family or get a side job if possible?
Unfortunatly i don't know what Trident is but if it is not open until the 5th event hough you need it, there is most likely nothing you can do about that now.
I am soooo sorry to hear about your great grandmother! I hope she will be allright.
Do you know anything about her condition?
For now i would make a list of all the things you need to do to get through this.
For instance write:" Contact Trident first thing in the morning on the 5th."
What i am trying to learn is to take a step back from things and look at it as a third party, that way you are not as emotionally involved in it.
Trust me...it is hard to do but it may help.
I learned that lesson from my mers on here the past week and i am working on it myself.
Try to look at everything as a total stranger would to make it through.
Untill then if you live close to your great grandmother go visit her as much as you can cause she will need it.
Same thing happened with my grandmother....she had a stroke and we knew something was up, the doctor came and did nothing. We asked him to come again (she could not get out of bed nor ate or drank in a few days) again he did nothing!
My dad had to threaten him on the phone before he would get us an ambulance. Luckily they were in time and gave her fluids instantly and she made it through in the end and completly recovered from it.
Anyway....i really hope your great grandmother will be ok.
If you are very upset it is best to try and blow of some steam before going to bed else you will be up all night anyway.
Something as simple as getting a pillow and starting to beat the sh*t out of it may help (done it myself and it works really well).
Keep beating the pillow untill you are exhausted and simply can't beat it no more.
Hope it helps!
Big mer hug coming your way :hug:

[SeaGlass Siren]

So over the weekend i kept getting asked for babies. i typed up the whole thing on my blog:

http://seaglasssiren.blogspot.ca/2015/01/stop-asking-me-for-babies-tmi-warning.html

TL;DR, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING ME FOR BABIES. I AM NOT A BABY PUMPING MACHINE.

[Adalira]

So over the weekend i kept getting asked for babies. i typed up the whole thing on my blog:

http://seaglasssiren.blogspot.ca/2015/01/stop-asking-me-for-babies-tmi-warning.html

TL;DR, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING ME FOR BABIES. I AM NOT A BABY PUMPING MACHINE.

Wow...i totally get where you are coming from here.
Me and my husband are not officially married yet. We just feel married and already people ask us about babies. I am 31 and not planning to have kids any time soon and most likely not ever.
We may adopt one day...who knows but i do not want kids for the next years to come.
For some reason the general "normal" way of thinking seems to be that happy man and happy woman equals baby making lol.
I have no idea why people feel that your lifes are not complete without babies?
People ask me to when we will have babies or when we will get married. It is strange that people feel the need to push their opinion on you in this case.
Since you and your husband have decided to do things differently than "normal" couples....you have to pay a price of having to hear others opinions on it and their "concerns" and doubts off you not pooping out babies by the dozen lol.
Stay strong in what you believe in. It is annoying for sure but don't let it doubt yourself.
Mer hug coming your way! :hug:

[-Annwyn-]

Wow...i totally get where you are coming from here.
Me and my husband are not officially married yet. We just feel married and already people ask us about babies. I am 31 and not planning to have kids any time soon and most likely not ever.
We may adopt one day...who knows but i do not want kids for the next years to come.
For some reason the general "normal" way of thinking seems to be that happy man and happy woman equals baby making lol.
I have no idea why people feel that your lifes are not complete without babies?
People ask me to when we will have babies or when we will get married. It is strange that people feel the need to push their opinion on you in this case.
Since you and your husband have decided to do things differently than "normal" couples....you have to pay a price of having to hear others opinions on it and their "concerns" and doubts off you not pooping out babies by the dozen lol.
Stay strong in what you believe in. It is annoying for sure but don't let it doubt yourself.
Mer hug coming your way! :hug:


I know them feels. My SO and I aren't planning on marrying, aren't planning on children either, and we;re both Atheists. We are the 'sore thumbs' on both sides of our family, who expect us to be religious, married, and popping out the babies. All just to please them.

[Adalira]

I know them feels. My SO and I aren't planning on marrying, aren't planning on children either, and we;re both Atheists. We are the 'sore thumbs' on both sides of our family, who expect us to be religious, married, and popping out the babies. All just to please them.

It is weird how old fashioned people are still thinking.
My hubby and i are both non religious and are families aren't religious either luckily. I am sorry you also have to deal with that issue :(

[-Annwyn-]

It is weird how old fashioned people are still thinking.
My hubby and i are both non religious and are families aren't religious either luckily. I am sorry you also have to deal with that issue :(

The religious side can be interesting for the LOL factor. But my sister's husband is dangerous type of religious fucktard. For example, at my (now 7 years old) nieces christening, he decides to do a sermon on the 'Binding of Isaac', complete with a live demonstration by holding a live blade to my infant niece's throat. Last christmas he verbally abused me, physically abused my niece and instead of an apology, he's now telling his children that he hates be because I'm 'Evil'. And there's my sister being a stupid, quiet, compliant, 'godly' woman. Urrrghhhh.

[Adalira]

The religious side can be interesting for the LOL factor. But my sister's husband is dangerous type of religious fucktard. For example, at my (now 7 years old) nieces christening, he decides to do a sermon on the 'Binding of Isaac', complete with a live demonstration by holding a live blade to my infant niece's throat. Last christmas he verbally abused me, physically abused my niece and instead of an apology, he's now telling his children that he hates be because I'm 'Evil'. And there's my sister being a stupid, quiet, compliant, 'godly' woman. Urrrghhhh.

Oh my god...that is absolutly awfull.....i don't want to offend anyone here that is religious but religious people scare me...especially the ones that are REALLY religious like you just described....off course everything they do....good or bad... they can defend because it's in the bible or because it is god's will or any other religious type sayings......yikes!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

So over the weekend i kept getting asked for babies. i typed up the whole thing on my blog:

http://seaglasssiren.blogspot.ca/2015/01/stop-asking-me-for-babies-tmi-warning.html

TL;DR, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ASKING ME FOR BABIES. I AM NOT A BABY PUMPING MACHINE.

You are not the only one! I feel you. I literally had to tell my mother that our relationship would be over if she brought up me having babies one more time, and if I found out she was pressuring my sister, I'd stop talking to her too. No one - not even our husbands - has any right to demand babies from us. Fortunately, plenty of our husbands also don't want children.

Congrats on getting married! :)

[Naufra]

Babies? Ewww! I don't plan on ever procreating either, children are not something I want in my life. It's weird enough being around my friend's kids, and I hardly ever see them! It sucks getting harassed about having kids, I'm not even in a relationship! Whenever I say "Kids just aren't for me," because people look at me like I'm the scum of the Earth if I'm blunt and say that I hate kids, I always get remarks like "You're still young, you never know," or "You may change your mind later." It's almost always from other women, too! You would think they'd be more supportive of a fellow female exercising agency in her own life!

[Mermaid Lunette]

Babies? Ewww! I don't plan on ever procreating either, children are not something I want in my life. It's weird enough being around my friend's kids, and I hardly ever see them! It sucks getting harassed about having kids, I'm not even in a relationship! Whenever I say "Kids just aren't for me," because people look at me like I'm the scum of the Earth if I'm blunt and say that I hate kids, I always get remarks like "You're still young, you never know," or "You may change your mind later." It's almost always from other women, too! You would think they'd be more supportive of a fellow female exercising agency in her own life!

Oh same boat, I do not want kids, but soooooooo many people get up in arms about it. I also get the "you'll change your mind" line a lot too! Sometimes it as if they are trying to jinx me! They will tell me stories of women before me who said the same thing and be like, "and SHE has 3 kids now!" So basically they are trying to dismiss my decisions as naive or temporary. ONE PERSON EVEN HAD THEN NERVE TO TELL ME THE REASON I SHOULD HAVE KIDS IS BECAUSE I HAVE "BIRTHING HIPS". All I can think is like, my figure is not a reason to have kids, WANTING TO HAVE KIDS IS THE ONLY REASON SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE KIDS.

And ya know what should be the best reason for not having kids?
Because you don't want them!

I hate as if people think that if you don't want kids that is not a good enough reason not to have them xc like, you want people to have kids they don't want? Bro, that is why foster cares and such are over-run.

Gah, people just don't give a poop at my heavy desire to not want kids (well, the people I care about most do, so that is a major help.) Oh, and trying to explain that I am tokaphobic? Forget about it!

[Mermaid Lunette]

And to be honest, I wanna get my tubes tied, but I have heard so many horror stories of doctors being like, "you have to at least have 1 baby first" or "I don't feel it would be ritght for me ethically to do that." Which, just the thought makes me want to vomit.

[Mermaid Kelda]

And to be honest, I wanna get my tubes tied, but I have heard so many horror stories of doctors being like, "you have to at least have 1 baby first" or "I don't feel it would be ritght for me ethically to do that." Which, just the thought makes me want to vomit.
Ugh tell me about it. If someone suddenly decides they want to have kids after having their tubes tied they can adopt. Too many people in the world already, many of them parent-less. I plan on having kids, but that plan comes with the cognitive dissonance of not wanting to ruin the planet :\

[Adalira]

Exactly....My hubby and i have said that we may adopt in the future since there are tons of babies who need a home already out there.
But both of us don't like kids....so maybe we will never adopt either.
Some women just all melt inside when they hold a baby and go oooh and aaaaah....when i hold one i feel soooo uncomfortable.....no motherly instincts in this one over here lol.
I fully agree that the only reason to have kids is if you want them, not because people feel you should have them because they feel it is "normal" to have them.

[Adalira]

I have some very good news by the way....an update about the woman who ordered the Magic Wand and went insane on me....
She finally wrote me back and wrote me an apology. She said she was old and new to the internet and had no idea what she was doing.
She also said she did not mean for everyone to see her message on our facebook page....honestly i don't buy a word of it since she posted it everywhere and even left us the bad review.
She even wrote again she had no idea she was ordering a wand from me even though you have to choose a color yourself when ordering one and it has the number of each specific wand in the order form so she had to click on that specifically.
I think she is afraid that she won't get a refund if she is not nice to us.
I am happy to have her apology in writing though.
In the end she wrote that she would ship the Magic Wand back to me :)

[PhaylennMurúch]

Quick warning about a tubal, they're not foolproof. Especially after the 5 year mark. It's not common but I've known a few ladies who have had surprises years and years after getting tubals.

That being said, babies are not for everyone. Don't let anyone bitch at you for your choice


Sent from my Shellphone using Tapatalk

[SeaGlass Siren]

I was typing up a long winded response on my phone when the forum logged me out. so i hopped on my computer to retype everything. this is how much i love you ladies.

On top of what you guys have said (btw totally agree with each and every single one of you) My main reasons for not having children were from a financial standpoint. Just bought a house, have my whole life to live and once you have that baby, all that income will be put towards the baby and not for your enjoyment. I'm still young i have my entire life to live, i don't plan on throwing all my hopes and dreams down the proverbial toilet just yet to have a kid i don't want.

It's not even the fact that i dislike children. i know how to take care of children and i'm great with kids, i've been a babysitter for my niece ever since she was a baby (actually like a second mother since hers would always leave her) and i HAVE experienced the joys of raising a child, even though she wasn't mine. to top that off, children cling onto me wherever i go. + i worked at an anumement park and now at disney. kids. kids everywhere. I've even taken a parenting class, fake baby and everything. i did exceptionally well.
And i have very mild tokophobia. i finally decided parenting wasn't for me.
some people aren't meant for parenthood....
Like Annwyn's brother in law. seriously he is fucked up.. how come no one sent him to the police?? he put a knife on his BABY'S THROAT....

I also get the "you'll change your mind" talk from people who are... less understanding. Like my mother. But at the same time she also agrees with the points i've made so she's actually been really supportive of my decision to be child-free. (i hate the term child-less, that makes it sound like i want children but can't have any.) My mom AND dad DEFENDED ME against my mother-in-law and her sisters because they kept trying to enforce the "carrying on the lineage or legacy" bullshit.

[SeaGlass Siren]

it got to a point where my husband and i had a sit down to talk about child planning and what we're gonna do. i had told him if it was about "passing down legacy" issues i am allowing him to sleep with another woman to extend his blood line, and that i have no such intentions of ruining my life so early on just because his mother demands us of it. fuck oldschool mentality.
we also talked about the adoption method.
1) the child benefits and gets to live in a loving home and will be cared for. hopefully.
2) no childbirthing = no pain.
3) like adarila said, tons of children on the earth already that don't have a home. world is way too overpopulated.

In the end we agreed, "no children."

[SeaGlass Siren]

Oh my god...that is absolutly awfull.....i don't want to offend anyone here that is religious but religious people scare me...especially the ones that are REALLY religious like you just described....off course everything they do....good or bad... they can defend because it's in the bible or because it is god's will or any other religious type sayings......yikes!

I'd like to counter this. It isn't technically religion that destroys people. It's the extremists believers that like to twist every word of religious texts to control people.
even if they defend their actions because it's some part of the holy scripture, i call bullshark on it. there's a reason why there's a new testament in the bible; it's because the old testament doesn't apply any more.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Yeah if people aren't particularly concerned with lineage or having a child that looks like them and their partner, adoption is the way to go. It also means you can choose to adopt if/whenever you like, when you know you're financially stable and are happy with your place in life. One could adopt at 50, when you've made a pretty sum and are close to kicking back in retirement!

[SeaGlass Siren]

actually studies show that if you remain child free, the money you make and save within your entire lifetime (that usually goes into a child...keyword, A child.. only one.) will make you a millionaire.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Exactly! If someone did want kids later in life, they'd have plenty of money to support an adopted child. As such there's no reason why anyone should be "forced" to have kids while they still can, even for the reason that "you might want them later on". It is a massive life decision and one that could easily take your entire life to decide on.

[Adalira]

.

[SeaGlass Siren]

YES. THANKYOU MELAINA. Women are not baby-making machine guns.

... and on that note...

http://d.justpo.st/images/2014/10/c0bd1d81e322d5b05f553503c5c9bf2f.png

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I started early menopause last year in May. I'm in my late 30s.
My Mum and sister in law (brother's wife) knows. My brother may know, but I didn't tell him directly.
Recent emails from friends and family in Singapore...
"So when are you going to get married and have kids? You're 40 years old now. Start soon or its too late."

They're not usually that brash. I'm guessing my Grandma has been asking them what and when about me. She did tell me once in Chinese, that whomever I chose, boy or girl, that she'd be happy for me.

Had to think for a day how to word it nicely but it ended up being, "My parts don't work anymore. They stopped working in May last year. I don't like anyone. They only kids I'm likely to have are either pet goats or some other four legged furry friend."

I don't know how or what they said to Grandma, but at least the marriage questions have stopped!:lol:

Then I kinda dread the thought of when I have to go back for my cousin's wedding sometime this year... She's old, so I'm hoping her Alzheimer's kicks in on that day!

[SeaGlass Siren]

chinese people are always brash :cry:
what i dont understand is why our personal decisions affect them so much.. since really it doesn't freaking involve them wtf.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

chinese people are always brash :cry:
what i dont understand is why our personal decisions affect them so much.. since really it doesn't freaking involve them wtf.
Its all about giving face to the relatives. Even the so distant ones that you only see during major events like a wedding, funeral, Chinese New Year etc. That you don't even see them during Easter or a birthday...

[SeaGlass Siren]

fuck face. that's so bullshit. why try to impress people you barely know and only talk to during important events?

[Mermaid Jaffa]

fuck face. that's so bullshit. why try to impress people you barely know and only talk to during important events?
I don't. Its too much hard work. If they don't accept me as I am, I don't bother trying to be friends with them.

[Echidna]

I started early menopause last year in May. I'm in my late 30s.

I think you're lucky!
My migraines are mostly hormonal, and all my female relatives suffered horribly before their menopauses...I can only hope.

And due to the marriage nagging (and being presented with some dimwit half my height and thrice my weight at every opportunity), I no longer have contact to the chinese part of my family :p

[SeaGlass Siren]

Paternal grandmother passed away. Not sure when but i was only informed about it this morning. a little miffed i had to find out over social media. also fairly pissed off my aunts treated her like utter shit on her final years.
tbh i didn't know her all that well because she's in vietnam, and i'm in canada, but she was the nicer grandmother for sure and treated all of her children and grandchildren as equals. she didn't beat any of us for no reason either which was uncommon.
...though i'm pretty sure i was the favourite because i was the canadian-born, first-born granddaughter. "and the prettiest, and the ideal female" she says. favouritism. well. I'm ok with that. she was my favourite grandmother even though i only ever saw her when i visited the motherland, or talked to her when she called regardless of the language barrier.
She is going to be sorely missed.

[-Annwyn-]

Okay, so this is my b**ch:

For the past two years I've pretty much been the sole income earner because my SO had two more lung collapses, the second requiring surgery. I hate my job; it's horrible, it truly is and I feel like shit doing it because I'm treated like shit from both the customer and my managers. But I have stayed, because of obvious money issues, and the fear that jobs are hard to come by these days.

So now I'm taking a month off to chill and figure out what I want to do. My partner had recently acquired a job, so money is slowly starting to come back in, or rather, I'm having to fork out less money. I have absolutely busted my hump trying to keep our shit together and I haven't been able to save much either.

For my sanity, I plan to resign next month and look at getting into cleaning (I'll explain later). My dad is already asking "When are you going back to work?" because that's all he cares about -money. So when I resign, I may or may not have a job to move on to, and I can hear my father already berating me over what a lazy daughter I apparently am. And trying to explain why I am leaving my job will be useless because he doesn't give a damn about anything else about me.

I'm just hoping against hope that they sell the house soon so they can move into their retirement village all the way across the other side of town and I can get some peace.

[Theta]

Okay, so this is my b**ch:

For the past two years I've pretty much been the sole income earner because my SO had two more lung collapses, the second requiring surgery. I hate my job; it's horrible, it truly is and I feel like shit doing it because I'm treated like shit from both the customer and my managers. But I have stayed, because of obvious money issues, and the fear that jobs are hard to come by these days.

So now I'm taking a month off to chill and figure out what I want to do. My partner had recently acquired a job, so money is slowly starting to come back in, or rather, I'm having to fork out less money. I have absolutely busted my hump trying to keep our shit together and I haven't been able to save much either.

For my sanity, I plan to resign next month and look at getting into cleaning (I'll explain later). My dad is already asking "When are you going back to work?" because that's all he cares about -money. So when I resign, I may or may not have a job to move on to, and I can hear my father already berating me over what a lazy daughter I apparently am. And trying to explain why I am leaving my job will be useless because he doesn't give a damn about anything else about me.

I'm just hoping against hope that they sell the house soon so they can move into their retirement village all the way across the other side of town and I can get some peace.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I don't think people realize how soul-crushing some jobs can be, and that it's better to leap without the safety net then deal with it a moment longer. I had one of those jobs once, and the minute I walked out on my last day I felt a weight come off my shoulders. I can totally sympathize with you. I'm glad you seem to be in a good enough place financially to go and do something for you :)

Also hooray cleaning jobs! I've had a couple of those over the years and I've always enjoyed them.

[-Annwyn-]

Also hooray cleaning jobs! I've had a couple of those over the years and I've always enjoyed them.

Thanks, Theta :) I figured at least with cleaning jobs its wayyyyy less stressful, and if I apply myself, I can get a reasonable amount of work for more pay then I'm getting now. Seriously, I DO NOT get paid enough to take the crap I take. And yet, when I mentioned the idea to one of my work colleagues, she looks at me and says "...but you speak English!" Ohhhhhhhhh! Grrrrrr!!

[Theta]

Thanks, Theta :) I figured at least with cleaning jobs its wayyyyy less stressful, and if I apply myself, I can get a reasonable amount of work for more pay then I'm getting now. Seriously, I DO NOT get paid enough to take the crap I take. And yet, when I mentioned the idea to one of my work colleagues, she looks at me and says "...but you speak English!" Ohhhhhhhhh! Grrrrrr!!

The part about speaking English is obnoxious. I really hate the way cleaners are lumped into a lesser class because they a) clean and b) don't often speak English. Those people are a godsend, frankly. Anyone who cleans up after someone else deserves a medal, and English speakers clean too! Arrgh.

Side note, what kind of cleaning are you looking at doing? I cleaned houses and offices, and always thought that if I went further into that field I'd be really interested in heavy cleaning (crime scene, industrial hazards.)

[Samantha Siren]

Ok, I am sorry to be going on about this again for all those who have read this a dozen times but I am absolutely fuming with Jesse from Mermaid Creations. Today I had an opportunity to do a TV show but because my tail is now 8 months late I have missed out again! He said he had started my tail three weeks ago and promised me pictures, he then did a 2 1/2 week vanishing act.

NYE he miraculously appears after seeing a refund invoice i sent him on paypal and said my scales have been pulled an he would send a picture. It is now Tuesday and I have has no pictures and no word. I am this close to flying to Ohio and kicking his fishy ass! Agggggggghhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Rant over, thank you for reading. xxxx

[Merman Chatfish]

I think crime scenes would be too disturbing for me.

[Merman Chatfish]

Ok, I am sorry to be going on about this again for all those who have read this a dozen times but I am absolutely fuming with Jesse from Mermaid Creations. Today I had an opportunity to do a TV show but because my tail is now 8 months late I have missed out again! He said he had started my tail three weeks ago and promised me pictures, he then did a 2 1/2 week vanishing act.

NYE he miraculously appears after seeing a refund invoice i sent him on paypal and said my scales have been pulled an he would send a picture. It is now Tuesday and I have has no pictures and no word. I am this close to flying to Ohio and kicking his fishy ass! Agggggggghhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Rant over, thank you for reading. xxxx

Bring Theta along, she is the cranky mermaid after all and she knows how to clean away all the evidence.

[SeaGlass Siren]

well played.

[Samantha Siren]

Hahaha Flyer2002 you are awesome! Though I don't wanna kill the guy cause then i'd be a murderer and still without a tail. but a good kick up the ass would make me feel better!

[Merman Chatfish]

Hahaha Flyer2002 you are awesome! Though I don't wanna kill the guy cause then i'd be a murderer and still without a tail. but a good kick up the ass would make me feel better!

True or you could get your money back and pay someone else and give them all the supplies from him so it doesn't cost that much.

[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[Samantha Siren]

If he wasn't paying people back refunds in dribs and drabs I would but i don't ave the money to get a tail from anyone else. Not right now at least. I still have hope that he'll pull through but it is looking bleaker and bleaker by the day! :(

[Adalira]

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[Samantha Siren]

Of course there will be. I have literally the entire outfit, the top, the circlet, the tiara everything, just not the bloody tail. I know its gonna take another 5 weeks but all I want is a picture or two to prove he's started and for him to ask for my measurements. Is that too much to ask for?

[Adalira]

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[PhaylennMurúch]

Didn't Chris just have a horrible experience with Mermaid Creations? To the point where the finished product didn't even come close to fitting?


Sent from my Shellphone using Tapatalk

[Merman Chatfish]

he did not even take your measurements yet? But he said he has started on it already?
Is that standard?
I would think you would give the measurements before they get started on it, off course i don't know the normal protocol on mermaid tails though.
Just would make more sense to me to first give the measurements.


Agreed. How do you make something without measurements.

[Samantha Siren]

Noooooo idea!

[deepblue]

I go for walks with my daughter, whom I carried in the womb for over nine months and yes, she's biologically my child. And people ask me almost every day... someone just dropped off her new wheelchair and asked:

"Is that her real hair?" Her hair is real. In spite of the fact that many people walking around with this color and texture have paid for it, she's FIVE years old, do you really think it's not real?

Usually it's:

"Is her mom's hair red?" WTF, do you people think I'm the nanny? It was me she just called mama. Her eyes are the same color, her lips, ears, facial shape, most of her resembles me, but her hair doesn't so suddenly I'm not the mom. My coloring is different from hers. This happens due to this thing called GENETICS, and the fact that not every family has some super neat blue-blood family line. My blood is multi-national, and so is my daughter's. She's enrolled in my tribe and also descended from two Highland clans in Scotland (which shall remain nameless here for privacy). It happens, esp in the USA.

"WOW, where'd she get that red hair!? OH, she didn't get that from you." And, "Does she take after her dad?" She does get it from me, since my dad's Scottish and Irish blood came through strong and her hair is exactly like his aunt's in color and texture.

Have some tact. What if she WERE adopted, at this age, perhaps she would not know yet? Do people think at all?

As for mentioning the dad when he's not around, that's an understandable, innocent mistake, but my child's biological sperm donor is not involved, and she's never known him, he's dangerously psychotic and I've reported him for child porn on his computer, and hope he ends up in jail or a psych ward permanently some day soon, which is entirely possible. I'm extremely grateful that the man in our lives loves her like she's his own daughter and hopes to be her dad one day.

GAH!

Just. People need to think before asking questions, esp in front of the child.

I might have complained about this before. lol

[Theta]

Bring Theta along, she is the cranky mermaid after all and she knows how to clean away all the evidence.

Ahahaha, bleach denatures *ALL* the DNA!

[Fun123joker]

my county was the only one in the area who didnt close for school. ok so i dont want to get too into it but it was really bad. ok the snow wasnt it was just 4 inches BUT HOW THE ROADS WERE HANDELED MADE IT FEEL MUCH WORSE in northern VA we dont have real snowplows, we have dump trucks with shovels infront witch will do for 97% of our snowfall but the roads were terrible. buses crashed. what took 10 minuets to drive would take 2 hours. its soooooo bad that the tag #closefcps is trending world wide on twitter. if you googled close fcps you wil hear abunch of stories where the bus would crash so the students elementry-highschoolers would have to walk to school.

again i dont want to go into much detail but the weather outside is terrible and dangerous. so if any Northerner decides to give us shit about this THEN i will tell you bout how 18 students were hospitalized and how 48 buses crashed and how bad it is. i was lucky because my school is right across the street. if you want detail just google "close fcps"

[Merman Chatfish]

I don't know which is worse...the amount of violence or that two movie announcements are getting more attention.
26406
I wish I could disable Facebook trending...it gets depressing to see what more people are talking about.

[Mermaid Kelda]

What? Facebook trending is a thing? I've never seen it. Does AdBlock stop it?

[SeaGlass Siren]

no it's a new thing they added. personally i dont mind it. lets me keep track of all the movies coming out.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Ah, I appear to be blind.

[Mermaid Lunette]

Just need to let myself let this out just so I can let it go and hopefully sleep :'(

Yesterday my throat was sore and today it turned into a sore throat, acheing sinuses, and being lethargic. I have felt horrible this entire day, and I am pretty sure this will continue for a day or two more. The thing is, my husband has a daughter from a previous relationship and this weekend is his weekend. However he works 2pm-10pm so I am the one whom will have to drive to go get her (oh, did I mention I hate driving and it makes me feel severely anxious? And I won't even mention exactly how I feel about the mom whom I will HAVE to interact with when I go pick her up.)
So, the mom cannot drop her off but feels that I am not sick enough to not watch her so I will have to drive feeling this way. Also, she will have to be put to bed before he even gets home because of school and he works Saturday and she goes home Sunday so while sick I am fully responsible for her and I will have to drive to get her several times which is upsetting enough as it is. (It goes without saying I don't blame my step daughter or anything like that.) It just sucks that I have to do all this stuff while I am sick.

This all happened and was found out today and I am just very upset and, well, crying when your nose is already stuffy just sucks SO. VERY. MUCH.

[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[Starfrit]

I think just saying that would be fine, along with a simple apology that things couldn't be resolved the way the customer wanted— not that you did anything wrong, really, but but just for the sake of good customer service.

On the upside, you'll have her off your back now. Hopefully your next customers will be much easier to handle, and this woman will have learned to pay more attention to what she buys. :P

[deepblue]

I don't know which is worse...the amount of violence or that two movie announcements are getting more attention.


I wish I could disable Facebook trending...it gets depressing to see what more people are talking about.

You can - I do using Social Fixer (http://socialfixer.com/) which is a browser extension. When you use it, you can customize your FB feed, and there are little Xs next to various sections. Just hit the X on the upper right for Trending and choose 'Hide Trending Topics'.

That trending topics section gives my depression a depression. And anyway, if it's important enough and I need to see it, one or more of my friends will post it. No one needs that section.

[Merman Chatfish]

You can - I do using Social Fixer (http://socialfixer.com/) which is a browser extension. When you use it, you can customize your FB feed, and there are little Xs next to various sections. Just hit the X on the upper right for Trending and choose 'Hide Trending Topics'.

That trending topics section gives my depression a depression. And anyway, if it's important enough and I need to see it, one or more of my friends will post it. No one needs that section.

OMG OMG *runs around in a circle screaming* OMG OMG.
THIS
IS
AWESOME!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you!
*runs around in a circle again*
THANK YOU!!!!
:dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:: dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::d ance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::da nce::dance::dance::dance:

[deepblue]

You are quite welcome!

[-Annwyn-]

So for all the people who read what happened to me and that awful woman in America with the Magic Wand....here is an update.
I think i already told you that she wrote an email with an apology and said she wants to return the wand.
I took a few days before replying back because i have not been feeling very well.
Last night i got very sick and threw up twice...stayed up all night with stomache aches...
Anyway, since i could not sleep and had to get out of my hot bed i replied to her letting her know we will be waiting for the magic wand and will refund her minus shipping costs and fees when the magic wands arrives here.
She replied this afternoon and let me know she will not be returning the magic wand since she feels shipping costs are too high.
Sigh.....some people....
I know i need to reply to her now but i am not sure what i should say.
Would something like:" Ok, thank you for letting us now." be a good reply?

Perfect response :) Just saying "Ok, Thanks for letting us know" means you have read what she's written but that you're also not getting any further involvement with her.

[Adalira]

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[SeaMansa]

Okay, I really wish my friends would understand one simple thing: EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION!!!!!!! In this case, mine is: I. DON'T. LIKE. ANIME! And let me just clarify, for the most part anime isn't my thing. I have seen a few animes and read a few mangas that I have enjoyed but as a whole, im just not a fan. That's not to say its bad, some are good, some are not. It just isn't for me. So someone needs to tell me why whenever I make it known that I am not a huge anime lover, everyone acts like I just said I got married to Hitler?? Like really?? I get it, they love it and are super passionate about it but that doesn't mean you have to bash everyone who disagrees with you. I am a grown ass adult (well im 20 so close enough, eh?) I don't have to sit here and give u a friggin bulleted list about WHY I don't like something. If I don't like, I don't like it. Anime is not the best thing in the world, everyone doesn't love it, and everyone doesn't HAVE to love it.
I just really wanna tail smack a few humans today.

But know I am not just a flagrant "hater". I do like some anime. I will like anything so long as it sounds appealing to me, no matter what it is. The issue is that whenever my friends try to recommend me some of the "best" anime that I am guaranteed to love, the plots of those things sound terrible, stupid, boring, or just not of my taste. SOME anime is really good. I could name a few right now that I would love to get into when I have the time. But apparently I am being too critical when it comes down to what I watch. Because apparently everything that I personally don't like, but others like, I should take the time out of my day to watch just because THEY like it. <----- *sarcasm*

[Yulia]

Went to swim for my second time in my tail, it's just been laying on my chair waiting to be used since the first time. It was great, managed to get some footage of it underwater. Later when I was cleaning it out in the showers I saw that the silicone was starting to let go from the fabric beneath it where it connects to the scales. I think the stitches got up. "I can fix that with some silicone home" I thought. But then I saw a quite big hole on the edge, so I put in my fingers there to feel it, and almost pricked myself on a sharp edge. My monofin has shattered and poked through. There's a split from side to side, and more cracks near the edge. Feels like a broken window and it's crazy sharp.
What is it with me and drama?
What have I done to deserve yet another let down tailwise?
;_____;

[PearlieMae]

??? What kind of monofin is in it?

[Yulia]

It's something homemade, it's hard to see, but something like bi-fins that has been cut and then some kind of plastic under it.

Edit: it's not lexan. It's plexiglass.

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/OLuexdJXMYtd5Ec_sJiE3snooCecXrDAgU6_0OTEgcgVbRDskx tltU4TukR92qN-e3tw8fwSCfQ=w2560-h1318

[Adalira]

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[Yulia]

It's terrible to hear that you have to deal with these jackasses. You handle them in good way, and there's nothing wrong with your product! <3

[Adalira]

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[SeaGlass Siren]

just be like "to ensure that we can improve our orders in the future and provide quality products, could you please tell me what was wrong with the wand?"

[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[SeaGlass Siren]

I'd ask her that still. If she still does not respond that doesn't really give we a basis to return the wand.

[Echidna]

Adalira, I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Formerly, all stores (online and physical) used to have very accomodating refund and return policies, which was nice for honest, normal customers.
But as with everything, there are people who abuse the system.

I hate to tell you that, but the case of the woman getting a wand, just to send it back shortly after without giving a reason is probably one of those.
There are smartalecs out there who need a special item (especially when not easy to find) for just one opportunity, so they order the item, use it, then send it back.

Example: Amazon created restrictions on their shipping policies because some guys ordered a big TV just to watch some football game with their buddies, then returning the TV and getting a full refund.

I wager the woman with your wand wanted it for a birthday party or somesuch, but didn't intend to keep it anyway.

Just stick to your rules, there is nothing wrong with your product.
(and saying the wand doesn't "function" sounds like a dead giveaway)

[PearlieMae]

if she doesn't give you a reason, screw her! Move ahead, sell to other people.. You don't need this headache, your return policy is spelled out perfectly... just let it go. If she still complains, let her complain to Etsy and explain to them what her problem is. There are seller protection in place with Etsy, and they are pretty good at judging a situation. You are being way too sensitive about this, and you need to move forward...forget these idiots that are trying to take advantage of you!

[PearlieMae]

PS: Echidna is right, she probably wanted it for a party and is a cheapo. Or, she really thinks she can cast Harry Potter-type spells and doesn't deserve her money back because she is an idiot.

[Adalira]

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[Echidna]

eh...well that is so stupid I'm actually speechless.

If she bothers you further, maybe you can show etsy that mail.

Edit:
You can also tell her that wands and other equipment do not give magical powers, they are just tools for those who already have them.
(and that's nothing but the truth even among those who do believe in said powers.)

And I'd probably add some scathing remarks about watching less Disney and Harry Potter and read a good book instead, but that's just me. :p

[Mermaid Lunette]

omg.....the woman replied....i think she has a mental issue.
Her reply was that it simply does not work. She tried pointing it at the tv and it did not work..then she pointed it at herself to give herself magical powers and it does not work.....
She asked how she has to hold it, on the glitters or the pointy part.
I mean.....how i am to reply to that?
I was writing her a reply about magic but if she has a mental issue i do not want to encourage anything....what do i do?
Should i just write to her that it takes years and years of study and practice to use a magic wand and that she needs training with an actual witch or wizard?
I mean...what the hell?
Do i really need to write in my ad that it is not an actual real magic wand?
That would make no sense to me....why do i have to run into these idiots?! :O_o:

Just a quick thought, do you think there is anyway this could be a child posing as an adult? Maybe they stole their parents credit card thinking the wand was 'real"and since it obviously is not she does not want to get in trouble so she is trying to get her parents money back? (Or maybe it is a child whom does not think it is real but stil knows she might get introuble for the above reason so thinks if she is ridiculious you will concede?) If this person is an adult well, maybe even contact etsy and see if they can handle this unusal situation?

[Adalira]

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[SeaGlass Siren]

... now i'm all for encouraging imagination, but when they seriously believe in magic wands well... i think you need to put in a disclaimer that they are not magical in anyway shape or form.

[QueenZero]

Oh dear...Maybe tell her that you are not responsible for the magic in the wand? Something along those lines? I'm left scratching my head here, I've never encountered something like this before. I hope you work something out.

[Mermaid Kelda]

What a strange situation :\
If you say in your policy that they can return it if unsatisfied, then by all means let her do so if she's willing to pay the postage. Don't do your head in trying to figure out what she's on about.

I don't think you need to say they're fake. Perhaps you could say something more indirect, like "using wands requires a great amount of imagination and we cannot guarantee everyone will have enough of it to be successful spell-casters"

[PearlieMae]

do not get sucked into her idiotic drama! Tell her she does not have a right to have a refund. It's her own fault her magic doesn't work. Don't explain magic to her. After that don't respond to her at all.

[Merman Chatfish]

The girl I really like and I have been under the impression that she liked me back when we talked over the summer. She had asked if I was serious about liking her and wanting to visit her and about working together the next summer. I told her I was. She had never had a guy interested in her before. I asked her if she felt the same way and she said she did. We just had a problem with ages and age difference. I found out thru her aunt today that I surprised (made sound to be like scared) her saying I was interested in her. So I asked her today and she said she was surprised and didn't know how to respond.

At this point I'm not sure what to write anymore. She means so much to me and I thought it was more mutual.
:cry:

[PhaylennMurúch]

In my line of work you always have to put the disclaimer "for entertainment purposes only. Psychic readings and medium sessions are not a replacement for medical/legal/psychiatric advice"

you might want to put a 'for entertainment purposes only. Seller is not responsible for any magic that may or may not be channeled through wands'

[SeaGlass Siren]

I like Phaylenn's disclaimer better actually.

[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[Mermaid Momo]

The girl I really like and I have been under the impression that she liked me back when we talked over the summer. She had asked if I was serious about liking her and wanting to visit her and about working together the next summer. I told her I was. She had never had a guy interested in her before. I asked her if she felt the same way and she said she did. We just had a problem with ages and age difference. I found out thru her aunt today that I surprised (made sound to be like scared) her saying I was interested in her. So I asked her today and she said she was surprised and didn't know how to respond.

At this point I'm not sure what to write anymore. She means so much to me and I thought it was more mutual.
:cry:
If I remember correctly, said girl is 16 and you're I think 25 right? You need to stay away from her. You're going to end up on the sex offender list if you get involved with her. Even talking to her online in a certain way can get you arrested. Leave it alone.

[Adalira]

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[Adalira]

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[Mermaid Momo]

Are you serious? Are laws that strict in America?
When my dad was 26 he was in a band playing in disco's and he saw a girl in the audience and bought her a drink.
That girl was my mom and she was 16 at the time.
They have been together ever since.
Yes. You aren't legally an adult until you're 18. (however, and 18 year old who is an adult can legally date a 16 year old since it's legal if it's only 2 years or something like that.) I like the laws because generally in my experience (and not saying you're like this at all Flyer) but older men like to try and take advantage of young girls and boys who don't know any better and are easily manipulated and abused. And not to mention how guys literally wait like hawks for girls to turn legal because they seems to have this thing about young girls.

I saw a nice quote about something like this going around tumblr (sadly I can't remember who said it) but it goes something like this :
"It's not the girl's job to tell you no, as an adult, it is your job to tell the girl no."
If I find the actual quote I'll update this lol

[Mermaid Lunette]

If I remember correctly, said girl is 16 and you're I think 25 right? You need to stay away from her. You're going to end up on the sex offender list if you get involved with her. Even talking to her online in a certain way can get you arrested. Leave it alone.

I agree, just stay away. It is illegal and won't be legal for a couple of years, besides, she is obviously confused about the situation so she is probably not actually mature enough to pursue a relationship even if it was legal.

[Mermaid Momo]

I agree, just stay away. It is illegal and won't be legal for a couple of years, besides, she is obviously confused about the situation so she is probably not actually mature enough to pursue a relationship even if it was legal.
Exactly. Trust me, my sister did the whole dating older men when she was 14 up until now (she's 20 now) and she wasn't mature AT ALL.(still isn't actually) but she was so convinced these men were what true love was, she let them convince her to do all sorts of things. (drugs, un-safe sex, she even sold sex act for money for him, weed and other drugs, stealing, etc.) she wasn't mature to be with someone his age, he walked all over her and she wasn't able to tell what was right and what wasn't because she was so blinded by this "love". When my parents found out about it (when she was 15) she ran away and didn't come back for a week. Now she still dates older men, but know what else she's doing? She's sitting at home knocked up by some guy that wants nothing to do with her, with a felony and under house arrest because she let some guy convince her to do some wrong stuff. Let her be. Let her mature some.

[Starfrit]

If I remember correctly, said girl is 16 and you're I think 25 right? You need to stay away from her. You're going to end up on the sex offender list if you get involved with her. Even talking to her online in a certain way can get you arrested. Leave it alone.

This, absolutely. Flyer, you've got to leave this one alone because it's going to lead to nothing but trouble.

This is reminding me of what happened when I was 16-- I met a guy who was... I think around the 25-27 range? Dude was super into me, I was young and insecure and had never had a guy interested in me before so I made a lot of reeeeaaaaaaallly bad decisions, because I was young and didn't know any better. Dude was planning to hop on a plane from America to Canada to come visit me. Parents found out and got the police involved.

Granted, in that case it turned out the guy was actually a sexual predator with a habit of trying to solicit minors for sex online, but still-- even if you're not planning on anything sexual, any sort of relationship AT ALL with this girl is gonna get you into serious legal shit no matter what your intentions are. You're in reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaally skeevy territory, man.

[Yulia]

In Europe we have different laws in different countries for when it's considered legal to have sex, so it's not connected to when your considered an adult (which I believe is also at 18 in every country here)

[Starfrit]

Yeah, here in Canada the age of sexual consent is 16, but that depends on the age of the other party-- So, for example, if Flyer and this girl-interest of his lived in Canada and decided to pursue a relationship, he could get in legal trouble for exploitation of a minor or statutory rape. I'm not 100% up to date on America's laws on these sorts of things, but I think things like Age of Consent and Romeo + Juliet laws vary from state to state, which could make things trickier.

[deepblue]

It varies by state here in the US- age of consent and legal adulthood aren't the same thing, but a 16 yr old girl who is 'surprised' by your interest probably thought it was friendly. As almost anyone would, since the age disparity is quite a large one and she's a minor.

[Mermaid Momo]

Yeah, here in Canada the age of sexual consent is 16, but that depends on the age of the other party-- So, for example, if Flyer and this girl-interest of his lived in Canada and decided to pursue a relationship, he could get in legal trouble for exploitation of a minor or statutory rape. I'm not 100% up to date on America's laws on these sorts of things, but I think things like Age of Consent and Romeo + Juliet laws vary from state to state, which could make things trickier.
Yeah, they vary. But most states have them at 18 too. I did some googling and here's what wikipedia has to say about Iowa's laws: (I have no idea how up to date this is just fyi. so it could have changed but I'm lazy and I'm not digging any deeper.)

The age of consent in Iowa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iowa) is 16, with a close-in-age exemption for those aged 14 and 15, who may engage in sexual acts with partners less than 4 years older.Section 709.4 states: A person commits sexual abuse in the third degree when the person performs a sex act under any of the following circumstances... 2(c) The other person is fourteen or fifteen years of age and any of the following are true...(4) The person is four or more years older than the other person.
Section 709.15 forbids, amongst other things, sexual contact between a school employee and a "...person who is currently enrolled in or attending a public or nonpublic elementary or secondary school, or who was a student enrolled in or who attended a public or nonpublic elementary or secondary school within thirty days of any violation..." There exist similar laws for those who provide or purport to provide mental health services {§709.15}, officers in charge of offenders and juveniles {§709.16}.

But remember, even if it is legal, she isn't (imo) mature enough for a relationship with someone older. And I doubt her family will approve of it much.

[Starfrit]

Exactly. She's not mature enough, and even if she was her family likely wouldn't approve, which would put a lot more pressure on her and cause a lot of stress or tension between her and Flyer. Relationships like this never last and often end on a terrible note. Flyer's setting himself up for a lot of drama and hurt, IMO.

[Merman Chatfish]

I am a little bit confused here.....so she asked you if you liked her, even enough to visit her and to be working together and you replied yes and she said she felt the same way and is now basically backing out?
If that is the case....it may be due to the fact that she had no one liking her before (like you said) and she got scared.
If there is an age difference than if she talked about it with family like you said they may have shared their opinions on it that made her scared.
Her being scared may have nothing to do with you in this case.
You can always contact her (what i would suggest) and simply talk to her.
If she is getting cold feet and simply to scared then take a step back and be friends for now.
If it turns out not to be mutual at all between you well then just know that fate has someone better for you in store :)
I actually have experience on the subject and i think it is save to say that many in here most likely have at some point in their lives so you are not alone in this <3

Your summery is correct Adalira.


If I remember correctly, said girl is 16 and you're I think 25 right? You need to stay away from her. You're going to end up on the sex offender list if you get involved with her. Even talking to her online in a certain way can get you arrested. Leave it alone.


Are you serious? Are laws that strict in America?
When my dad was 26 he was in a band playing in disco's and he saw a girl in the audience and bought her a drink.
That girl was my mom and she was 16 at the time.
They have been together ever since.

Close draggersprez. She is 16 and I am 26 so 10 years apart (my grandparents were 17). Yes Adalira, laws are that struck and even worse. We have children who are 11 get placed on the sex offender registry for touching someone wrong or playing doctor (basically I show you mine you show me yours).


Yes. You aren't legally an adult until you're 18. (however, and 18 year old who is an adult can legally date a 16 year old since it's legal if it's only 2 years or something like that.) I like the laws because generally in my experience (and not saying you're like this at all Flyer) but older men like to try and take advantage of young girls and boys who don't know any better and are easily manipulated and abused. And not to mention how guys literally wait like hawks for girls to turn legal because they seems to have this thing about young girls.

I saw a nice quote about something like this going around tumblr (sadly I can't remember who said it) but it goes something like this :
"It's not the girl's job to tell you no, as an adult, it is your job to tell the girl no."
If I find the actual quote I'll update this lol

One of the things I like about this relationship is I am NOT getting pressured for sex. My first relationship was like that and I didn't like it. I am currently not capable of sex due to my anti-depressents and she's not interested sex which makes things much easier.

[Merman Chatfish]

Exactly. She's not mature enough, and even if she was her family likely wouldn't approve, which would put a lot more pressure on her and cause a lot of stress or tension between her and Flyer. Relationships like this never last and often end on a terrible note. Flyer's setting himself up for a lot of drama and hurt, IMO.

Yea that has been a problem, some of her family members (mainly aunt) don't approve of our friendship, but that is common around town here, the pool manager was nuts about us being friends for the sake of coworkers shouldn't be friends, even though most the coworkers were were friend, including her best friend.

[Mermaid Momo]

Yea that has been a problem, some of her family members (mainly aunt) don't approve of our friendship, but that is common around town here, the pool manager was nuts about us being friends for the sake of coworkers shouldn't be friends, even though most the coworkers were were friend, including her best friend.
Mostly anywhere you go in the US won't approve of a grown man being friends with a minor. That's just how things are here. he probably wasn't so much nuts about coworkers being friends but more so about a grown man and a minor who happen to be coworkers being friends. (and he might have noticed how you seemed to be interested in her and thought it was very very inappropriate and wanted to let you know it's inappropriate without out right saying it.)

[Mermaid Momo]

Close draggersprez. She is 16 and I am 26 so 10 years apart (my grandparents were 17). Yes Adalira, laws are that struck and even worse. We have children who are 11 get placed on the sex offender registry for touching someone wrong or playing doctor (basically I show you mine you show me yours).



It was a different time when your grandparents started dating. In those times it was common for girls to marry at 17 or 16 (and older men weren't really discouraged since it was still common for younger girls to marry older men) and start a family immediately. Not so much now.

One of the things I like about this relationship is I am NOT getting pressured for sex. My first relationship was like that and I didn't like it. I am currently not capable of sex due to my anti-depressents and she's not interested sex which makes things much easier.
I wasn't necessarily talking about sexual abuse or manipulation, that's not the only kind of manipulation that happens in relationships that young girls are especially susceptible to.

[PhaylennMurúch]

Flyer there is a HUGE difference in maturity between 16 and 26. Seriously. She was potty training when you hit puberty.

In a past post you had discussed NOT being in a relationship with her just yet because you weren't ready, go with that.

If you're associating a relationship as either pressure or disinterest in sex then you may be looking in the wrong places. A good solid relationship should not have to have one or the other. My relationship with my DH was long distance for a good long time, we connected as people first and fell in love with eachother for who we are. Is the sex amazing? you bet your sweet tailfins it is, that man can make me melt with a look. But intimacy does not have to mean sex, some of our most intimate moments have been simple nonsexual togetherness.

[Merman Chatfish]

Mostly anywhere you go in the US won't approve of a grown man being friends with a minor. That's just how things are here. he probably wasn't so much nuts about coworkers being friends but more so about a grown man and a minor who happen to be coworkers being friends. (and he might have noticed how you seemed to be interested in her and thought it was very very inappropriate and wanted to let you know it's inappropriate without out right saying it.)

Oh no she was very verbal about how I should be friends with her or anyone. She didn't like me already because I was hired on and made manager over her after she was there for 3 years because I had 8 more years of experience.


I wasn't necessarily talking about sexual abuse or manipulation, that's not the only kind of manipulation that happens in relationships that young girls are especially susceptible to.

Yea I know but multiple people were bringing up sex so I thought I should address it.


Flyer there is a HUGE difference in maturity between 16 and 26. Seriously. She was potty training when you hit puberty.

In a past post you had discussed NOT being in a relationship with her just yet because you weren't ready, go with that.

If you're associating a relationship as either pressure or disinterest in sex then you may be looking in the wrong places. A good solid relationship should not have to have one or the other. My relationship with my DH was long distance for a good long time, we connected as people first and fell in love with eachother for who we are. Is the sex amazing? you bet your sweet tailfins it is, that man can make me melt with a look. But intimacy does not have to mean sex, some of our most intimate moments have been simple nonsexual togetherness.

Thats why my first one was and I hated it. With my friend its not and so our relationship was because we like each other, not because sex.

[SeaGlass Siren]

yeah i'd say get out of that. or at least wait until she's legal.

[QueenZero]

Flyer, I don't know you from Adam, but you are cruising for trouble. If you're that interested, then you can wait two years. As it stands now, you're just putting yourself and her in danger.

[Starfrit]

Wait a minute, Flyer... This 16-year-old is your coworker, right? And... You're a manager at this place? Am I putting all this together right? It's super late for me and my reading comprehension is kind of off.

If that IS the case, then... That puts you in a position of authority over her, which... Makes things a whole lot sketchier from an outsider's perspective. And much more legally dangerous.

[Merman Chatfish]

Wait a minute, Flyer... This 16-year-old is your coworker, right? And... You're a manager at this place? Am I putting all this together right? It's super late for me and my reading comprehension is kind of off.

If that IS the case, then... That puts you in a position of authority over her, which... Makes things a whole lot sketchier from an outsider's perspective. And much more legally dangerous.

No your confusion is understandable. In 2013 when I started there I was made manager by a company running the pool purely because of my lifeguarding experience of 8 years, which yes I was head lifeguard for many of those years but not manager, I am not manager material. In 2014 I was training guards and swim instructors, was not manager at all. That was her first year there.


yeah i'd say get out of that. or at least wait until she's legal.

We are only friends, nothing that could be consider legal. One night she kept going on how no guys have ever been interested in her and so has no hope of getting married. I told her thats not true, I am interested in her and willing to wait and not see anyone else until she turns 18 and heads to college because she was thinking of one near here.

Here is the conversation where it happened: (I don't know how to collapse the text, sorry).


Friend:It's hard for me to believe that someone would be satisfied with just me.


Me:
why are you so hard on yourself? your still very young.


Friend:
I'm not being hard on myself, I'm just surprised with everything you told me.


Me:
that I like you?


Friend:
yeah


Me:
Why do you think I wouldn’t?


Friend:
I told you. I didn't think I'd be enough or anyone, nor do I feel that I'm thin or pretty. Oh and I think the exact date that I'm leaving is August 1st


Me:
have to do smores before then.
I am someone who does’t care if your pretty or thin or not (though I do think your thin, but then I am a bit fat, and you do not have the belly bump I do). Its who you are that is important.


Friend:
I've never once heard a guy say that they care about something beyond looks. I appreciate your refreshing change in viewpoint.


Me:
you have to remember I grew up in Iowa.


No, I think its becuase I grew up without friends and so I didnt get that peer learning of go for the attractive cheerleader


Friend:
I need to know if everything you've said is serious or is just you thinking out loud. I'm taking you seriously with the stuff your saying about being excited for next summer, visiting colorado, etc.


Me:
I am serious. I even told a friend how there is a girl at work I really like, unforchently she is way too young for me right now.


Friend:
I just can't see a way around the age difference. But I want to, I really do.


Me:
Just waiting until we are both older..at minimum marriage is best for after college. It gives us time to work our way slowly.
you do? I was telling you what I thought, wasn't sure what you thought.
And so you know, dont choose Luther college just because I like you.


Friend: Yeah, I do. By now you should know what that means coming from me.
By the time I graduate from college, assuming I go, you would be 32.
How does your mom feel about all this? Did you say anything to her?


Me:
Took 22 years for my first girlfriend, been over a year since my last. I can wait a few more if its someone I truly like. The way I feel about you is the same I felt about the one girl from college I told you about. The difference though is I have never felt hurt by you.


(parallel conversations happening) I never thought you and I would even be having this conversation. Like I said, your still too young to date and didnt know how you felt about me and if you didnt like me I didnt want to make it awkward at the pool


Friend:
I'm sure all couples hurt each other at some points, it's being able to move on past the hurt and forgive that makes a couple even stronger.

[Echidna]

Like the other European mers on here, I don't see anything wrong in a relationship with an an almost adult, especially if it isn't sexual.
I've also made the experience age difference doesn't mean much if you like the same things.

Because of the special attitude over in the US, though, I'd listen to the mers advising for caution.

[Mermaid Mhara]

((Haha..the conversations happening above reminds me of how one of my American friends basically blanked me and stopped talking to me when we had a disagreement over this. My first boyfriend was 18...I was 14, she found it weird and I didn't? Yeah funny how attitudes differ between continents))

Anywaaaay I need a rant.

So my mother and sister decide to go out tonight, which is fair enough...down to the local pub they say until closing which is 11:30pm, and I'm pressured into looking after my nephew. My mum was a bit tipsy as they'd been drinking wine (this was around 8pm it's 6am here now) and decided to use the fact she's taking me to my big Ballet audition down in London in a couple of weeks, and has splashed out a lot of money for us to be able to go...it hurt a bit and seemed like she was trying to make me feel bad, so I agreed thinking what's looking after a kid for like, 3 hours? Maybe I could get him to fall asleep...though I doubt it.

I don't do children, I actually despise those I'm not related to...Like, don't get me wrong I love their creativity and imaginations and some kids are great, but most children around here are tracksuit wearing mini chavs with loud mouthed parents who swear and cough and burp, then get mad when their kids do these things? hmm kayyy. So I can deal with my nephew...to an extent, but as most of his school friends are these loud, obnoxious basically mimi annoying chav adults...sometimes you see that coming out of him and it annoys me, and I have no tact nor skill in knowing how to deal with children when they get 'too much' so I'll either ignore him, or tell him straight as I would to an adult that he's acting like a brat and a stupid one at that, which leads to tears, which leads to me stressing and just...ARGH why could I not have been born with some kind of skill to deal with kids?! I just can't do this.

Anyway, tonight went okay...up until it turned 11:30. He wouldn't sleep, he refused to...I'd been trying since my mum and sister left to get him down...but he just wanted to play on his games console. I let him thinking it was the easiest option and he'd get tired and sleep maybe. I was wrong. Half eleven came and he kicked up a fuss saying he was staying up until his mum came home, after some screaming and crying on his part and my cold, angry I-HATE-THE-WROLD-BECAUSE-I'M-A-SAD-TEENAGER face staring him down, I eventually compromised with him that if he went into the spare room and watched a film in bed he could stay up.

He came down every. Freaking. Ten. Minutes asking 'are they back yet?'.

I got s text about midnight saying they'd gone over to the next village and my sis was staying at a friends and mum was going over to her boyfriends for the night. I got pissed at this point. I had to watch him all night and he was refusing to go to sleep. He came down and me in my mood told him his mother wasn't coming home so he should just go to sleep...which led to tears and stress. So I put on another film and hey presto, he went to sleep quite well.

But I'm still just ARGHGFGHSDJ. Why am I always left with babysitting? And always pressured into it.

I just don't care anymore. Never doing this again. 3 hours my ass. Haven't slept, stressing over this audition, and just cba right now. Ugh.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

((Haha..the conversations happening above reminds me of how one of my American friends basically blanked me and stopped talking to me when we had a disagreement over this. My first boyfriend was 18...I was 14, she found it weird and I didn't? Yeah funny how attitudes differ between continents))

Anywaaaay I need a rant.

So my mother and sister decide to go out tonight, which is fair enough...down to the local pub they say until closing which is 11:30pm, and I'm pressured into looking after my nephew. My mum was a bit tipsy as they'd been drinking wine (this was around 8pm it's 6am here now) and decided to use the fact she's taking me to my big Ballet audition down in London in a couple of weeks, and has splashed out a lot of money for us to be able to go...it hurt a bit and seemed like she was trying to make me feel bad, so I agreed thinking what's looking after a kid for like, 3 hours? Maybe I could get him to fall asleep...though I doubt it.

I don't do children, I actually despise those I'm not related to...Like, don't get me wrong I love their creativity and imaginations and some kids are great, but most children around here are tracksuit wearing mini chavs with loud mouthed parents who swear and cough and burp, then get mad when their kids do these things? hmm kayyy. So I can deal with my nephew...to an extent, but as most of his school friends are these loud, obnoxious basically mimi annoying chav adults...sometimes you see that coming out of him and it annoys me, and I have no tact nor skill in knowing how to deal with children when they get 'too much' so I'll either ignore him, or tell him straight as I would to an adult that he's acting like a brat and a stupid one at that, which leads to tears, which leads to me stressing and just...ARGH why could I not have been born with some kind of skill to deal with kids?! I just can't do this.

Anyway, tonight went okay...up until it turned 11:30. He wouldn't sleep, he refused to...I'd been trying since my mum and sister left to get him down...but he just wanted to play on his games console. I let him thinking it was the easiest option and he'd get tired and sleep maybe. I was wrong. Half eleven came and he kicked up a fuss saying he was staying up until his mum came home, after some screaming and crying on his part and my cold, angry I-HATE-THE-WROLD-BECAUSE-I'M-A-SAD-TEENAGER face staring him down, I eventually compromised with him that if he went into the spare room and watched a film in bed he could stay up.

He came down every. Freaking. Ten. Minutes asking 'are they back yet?'.

I got s text about midnight saying they'd gone over to the next village and my sis was staying at a friends and mum was going over to her boyfriends for the night. I got pissed at this point. I had to watch him all night and he was refusing to go to sleep. He came down and me in my mood told him his mother wasn't coming home so he should just go to sleep...which led to tears and stress. So I put on another film and hey presto, he went to sleep quite well.

But I'm still just ARGHGFGHSDJ. Why am I always left with babysitting? And always pressured into it.

I just don't care anymore. Never doing this again. 3 hours my ass. Haven't slept, stressing over this audition, and just cba right now. Ugh.

Put some brandy in his drink. He'll sleep all night...

[Echidna]

ahaha, babysitting is a nightmare if you're not into children.

I let myself be pressurized into doing it only once.
My family had been nagging me about babies for years ("normal girls love babies, they want to spend all their time with them, a good girl would give her right arm to babysit and earn some money for her family" and so on and so forth),
so I agreed to babysit our lazy disorganized neighbour's toddler while she went out with her two older children.

She said she'd be an hour, but stayed away three, and I never could take my eyes off that brat for one second because it was trying to grab dangerous things nonstop.
Once the mother returned, she said "well thanks for helping out, that was soooo sweet of you hun! Want a cookie?"
I don't eat sugar, so I said no.

Then I went home, and my family was waiting and asking "Where is the moneyz?!!"
I told them I didn't get any, and that the neighbour wanted to pay me with a cookie.
The dumb faces of my family were almost worth the hassle :p

Since then, they haven't bothered me again about babies either LOL.

[Merman Chatfish]

What also makes it harder is I've known her since June, and right now she is two states away, but she is my best friend, not just because she is such a good friend but because I don't have any others really.

[SeaGlass Siren]

You seem like a nice guy. if you're willing to wait it out, definitely do. don't over complicate it.

[Adalira]

.

[SeaGlass Siren]

i think you need to get the house eradicated of mold and fungus. that's just unhealthy.

[Mermaid Kelda]

Are there reviews for her products anywhere online?

[Adalira]

.

[Mermaid Mhara]

Aww I understand that problemo Adalira! My friend lives in a house just like yours, and no matter how much he does and tries the mold just will not budge...and moving house is stressful and money consuming at best.

I'd say deffo try the air purifying plants! Especially where you sleep, another thing my friend does is he uses a de-humidifier (his model you can even place oils in it to make the air smell lovely!)

As with the herbs, be careful! But if you truly think it'll help, go for it, so long as you have enough money to try it!

[SeaGlass Siren]

yikes... :( im sorry :hugs:

[Adalira]

.

[-Annwyn-]

As many of you may know i have been feeling sick most of last year most likely due to mold and fungus in the house.
A friend of mine in England introduced me (on facebook) to a woman in England who makes herb capsules and tinctures herself.
This woman treats both humans and animals with all kinds of viruses and bacterias, but also cysts and other ailments with her herbs with great succes.
I contacted her and a treatment of 3 weeks with capsules and tinctures will be 63 pounds including shipping to the Netherlands.
I am debating if i should do it or not.
I feel it could be very benificial to my health since something has been bothering me all year and if it is a mold bacteria in my body or any other bacteria/virus this could be just the thing for me.
I asked my friend and she said she uses her 3 week treatment once a year to give her body a good cleanse and she loves what it does for her.
What do you guys think?

These pills are just fucking bullshit. Unless she had a medical/pharmaceutical degree with peer reviewed evidence to back up the claims that those pills work, then you got scammed, honey. How do you know those pills are not just powdered sugar and ground up parsley? Also, there is not such thing as a 'cleanse' - you can only just restore your body to good health again by eating fruits and veggies (and moving out of your mold-house). You body ALREADY has cleansing systems in place. Sugar pills won't do shit.

Sorry to sound so aggressive about it, but this fucking woo-based shit really pisses me off. Scamming innocent people.

[Echidna]

These pills are just fucking bullshit. Unless she had a medical/pharmaceutical degree with peer reviewed evidence to back up the claims that those pills work, then you got scammed, honey.

While I agree with you that most of these "alternate" healing products are scam, I'd like to say that many pharmaceutical drugs (complete with backing studies and evidence) are scam also.
Just because it's produced by a pharmaceutical business, prescribed by a doctor, and sold in a pharmacy, doesn't mean
a) that it will help
b) that it won't harm you.

Loads of drugs I've been prescribed do more harm than good. Some can be lethal.
I suffered from severe heart problems after taking a drug that years later was discovered to cause heart failures.
This happens because pharmacy is a big business that doesn't strive to cure people, but to make money, no matter what.

And loads of said studies and "evidence" are faked to sell the drugs sooner and spend less money.
When people then die from the untested drugs, very little happens.
People who know this often turn to natural remedies, because they've seen the harm of "scientific" pharmaceutic medicine.


That said; there are many plants that do indeed have very good effect on all sorts of viruses and bacteria (and fungus and parasites too), but they are not top secret.
Onions, garlic, and many herbal teas are among them.
If someone does not want to tell you which plants are in their "magical pills", it's very likely they want to scam you.

And concerning mold problems, I fear none of them will go away as long as you're sitting in it, no matter what kind of remedy you try.

[-Annwyn-]

While I agree with you that most of these "alternate" healing products are scam, I'd like to say that many pharmaceutical drugs (complete with backing studies and evidence) are scam also.
Just because it's produced by a pharmaceutical business, prescribed by a doctor, and sold in a pharmacy, doesn't mean
a) that it will help
b) that it won't harm you.

Loads of drugs I've been prescribed do more harm than good. Some can be lethal.
I suffered from severe heart problems after taking a drug that years later was discovered to cause heart failures.
This happens because pharmacy is a big business that doesn't strive to cure people, but to make money, no matter what.

And loads of said studies and "evidence" are faked to sell the drugs sooner and spend less money.
When people then die from the untested drugs, very little happens.
People who know this often turn to natural remedies, because they've seen the harm of "scientific" pharmaceutic medicine.


That said; there are many plants that do indeed have very good effect on all sorts of viruses and bacteria (and fungus and parasites too), but they are not top secret.
Onions, garlic, and many herbal teas are among them.
If someone does not want to tell you which plants are in their "magical pills", it's very likely they want to scam you.

And concerning mold problems, I fear none of them will go away as long as you're sitting in it, no matter what kind of remedy you try.


"You know what they call alternate medicine that's been proven to work? 'Medicine' " - Tim Minchin.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U

[Talia]

While I agree with you that most of these "alternate" healing products are scam, I'd like to say that many pharmaceutical drugs (complete with backing studies and evidence) are scam also.
Just because it's produced by a pharmaceutical business, prescribed by a doctor, and sold in a pharmacy, doesn't mean
a) that it will help
b) that it won't harm you.

Loads of drugs I've been prescribed do more harm than good. Some can be lethal.
I suffered from severe heart problems after taking a drug that years later was discovered to cause heart failures.
This happens because pharmacy is a big business that doesn't strive to cure people, but to make money, no matter what.

And loads of said studies and "evidence" are faked to sell the drugs sooner and spend less money.
When people then die from the untested drugs, very little happens.
People who know this often turn to natural remedies, because they've seen the harm of "scientific" pharmaceutic medicine.


That said; there are many plants that do indeed have very good effect on all sorts of viruses and bacteria (and fungus and parasites too), but they are not top secret.
Onions, garlic, and many herbal teas are among them.
If someone does not want to tell you which plants are in their "magical pills", it's very likely they want to scam you.

And concerning mold problems, I fear none of them will go away as long as you're sitting in it, no matter what kind of remedy you try.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I do not trust anyone selling "magical cleansing remedies" over the internet. Even though you are rigth, Echidna, and some medicines that are given for public consumption end up being not good, they still are regulated, and doctors keep records of how patients respond to treatments to be aware of anything that could go wrong and detect the problem. But these drugs are not a scam. They are medicine gone wrong and being proved so by scientific evidence.

Some woman saying her potions cure *insert illness here* is selling snake oil. People are advised not to medicate themselves and to not take homemade remedies for a reason, and that is not only for the pharmaceutical companies to make money. A lot of people don't know that simply taking 6 mg of ibuprofen in 24 hours will (not may, will) cause them liver failure. Just as many people don't know that drinking moonshine or home-made absinthe can cause blindness and kidney failure.

Scammers take advantage of people's ignorance. It does not matter something works for so and so person. And if the ingredients are not released, then I would be double suspicious.