B!TC# IT OUT!

[swordwhale]

A. the pic is fabulous (I commit art and photography and storytelling, that's good storytelling there, and leaves the right amount of info hidden and mysterious, also tasteful.

B. I don't know if you do pick your relatives before you incarnate here (some think you do) or if they just give them to you to show you something... or show THEM something. Basically pick your pod and keep boundaries around your DNA family. You are who you are, be that, don't let them put you in a bowl.

[swordwhale]

Wise. Not everyone can do their hobby or passion as a trade. Sometimes we balance our passions with what we do to make a living. Keep doing what you love, but know what you're diving into before you begin a business of any kind.

[swordwhale]

This could be a teachable moment if approached properly and positively... especially if you are a lifeguard at the pool. You could educate the parents... hopefully...

[Lucien]

This could be a teachable moment if approached properly and positively... especially if you are a lifeguard at the pool. You could educate the parents... hopefully...

We strive to make sure we’re educating while maintaining a firm stance in our authority to make sure everyone is safe. Luckily, the girl didn’t attempt to leave the very shallow water (one of our pools has a shore-like entry)...
You would be surprised at how little parents like to listen to lifeguards. It’s incredible at how quickly they are to forget that water is dangerous!

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Yep and crap like this ends in tail bans which ruins it for everyone else

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[Lucien]

Yeah, it really sucks.
Where I work, we have a specific test for swimmers with tails to take before they’re even allowed to leave the water that’s a couple inches deep. I wish more places would implement something similar.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Me too I'm fighting with our local council who own the pool to allow monofins and tails for those experienced to do it but it's not, not gonna happen if that makes sense. Not gonna be an overnight fix either

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[ChibyNerieda]

When I cant cuss on a discord server because kids could/are in it. ugh.

[Slim]

When I cant cuss on a discord server because kids could/are in it. ugh.

There a nsfw tab for that


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[BlueCorvidae]

All of the issues people are having lately with public pools makes me feel very fortunate to live in Florida. Most springs allow tails, and my apartment complex doesn't care what I do in the pool so long as it doesn't involve alcohol. I guess so long as we aren't being a Floridaman (or even if we are) people are generally very lax.

I've used 'because I'm in Florida' as my reason when people ask while I'm dressed as a pirate in public and everyone so far is satisfied with that answer. I've even open carried a functional sword and nobody says a thing. =/

[Mermaid Delphinidae]

All of the issues people are having lately with public pools makes me feel very fortunate to live in Florida. Most springs allow tails, and my apartment complex doesn't care what I do in the pool so long as it doesn't involve alcohol. I guess so long as we aren't being a Floridaman (or even if we are) people are generally very lax.

I've used 'because I'm in Florida' as my reason when people ask while I'm dressed as a pirate in public and everyone so far is satisfied with that answer. I've even open carried a functional sword and nobody says a thing. =/

I really wish my state had more good, natural swimming areas.

[swordwhale]

ergh! sad but true!

Though I just had a random story from a cousin... when they were little, their dad would take them to the local state park lake. He'd turn them loose in the water, and go sit under a tree reading the paper. He was a farmer so hated being in the water, but the kids loved it. There were, at times, lifeguards there, and the water was (until you got out by the floaty buoy rope) shallow. And we never wore helmets either... I have no idea how we survived...

[SirenGita]

I would have removed her from the pool. I had to fight soooo hard to get my pool to reallow adults with monofins bc these idiot parents trying to drown their children. I dont get it...kids are soooo expensive if nothing else! Sheeesh

[SirenGita]

my B it out is definitely the knockoff sets and stupid parents ruining everything and trying to murder their own kids while doing it! UUUUUUUUUUUUGH

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Hahahah love your ra t but your totally right. Its irresponsible people who have made it so hard for us to be able to use monofins it's taking the mick now. This is why I'm having a right fight on with my local council to allow me to use one once I've done my mermaid training. Do you think it's worth me doing some free diving lessons to

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[Trade Winds]

I would have removed her from the pool. I had to fight soooo hard to get my pool to reallow adults with monofins bc these idiot parents trying to drown their children. I dont get it...kids are soooo expensive if nothing else! Sheeesh

If this is about my story about the kid in a knockoff and no fin...people who go to a local mermaid school frequent that pool, thus the lifeguards probably didn't bat an eye. She did get around perfectly fine in the pool with no fin tho.

[SirenGita]

That makes sense. That dang video of the viral half drowning kids makes me crazy bc its always referenced...i don't get why swim tests arent more common in more pools?

They don't seem hard to administer and sure seems to prevent a lot of potential drowning attempts? I'm no lifeguard though so maybe there's a reason I'm missing

[Mermaid Delphinidae]

That makes sense. That dang video of the viral half drowning kids makes me crazy bc its always referenced...i don't get why swim tests arent more common in more pools?

They don't seem hard to administer and sure seems to prevent a lot of potential drowning attempts? I'm no lifeguard though so maybe there's a reason I'm missing

Maybe they think it's more trouble than it's worth? I dunno either.

[Trade Winds]

OHHH MMYYY GOOOODDDDDD I went to the usual pool we swim at and ANOTHER kid had a knockoff tail! No telling what knockoff brand it was but I know it was one because it had scales on the fluke. That's fine if the kid can swim well in it, but I have seen vids of adult mers testing knockoff tails and STRUGGLING to swim, and god it makes me nervous. this is a very merfriendly pool but I know once something happens with those cheapo tails, we are done for

[swordwhale]

argh!

I've had such a good time with my Fin Fun stuff, and so have other people. They are so affordable I can't imagine trying to save a buck and getting something unworkable.

We need to educate them.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

I really love the look of the new Hawaiian sun tail. Think I'll have to invest cos you can put the Linden monofin inside 43745

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[swordwhale]

I heard too that the Linden will fit in these tails.

The Linden has a lot of good reviews too.

I like my Fin Fun monofins too.

I like the look of this tail, even though my colors are cool ocean colors. They look good in motion too.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

I checked with the table someone posted on here with was fantastic. I'm gonna buy one in the next couple weeks. Got fabric coming from spandex work to make and paint my own tails so I'm really excited to get it and start

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[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Here's the table.43747

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[swordwhale]

good chart!

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

I thought so too

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[Mermaid Avalynn]

Ok does anybody else have this problem. Me and my husband went to WalMart and I saw some little girl pjs that were mermaid themed. At first I was like awwww how cute , (wishing they were my size) but then I notice that they have the scales running up the pants the wrong way. I pretty much went on a wild rant right then and there (my husband just stared at me in disbelief). Mermaid scales facing the wrong direction just make me sooooo upset! Like a cat getting their fur rubbed the wrong way. Perhaps it's just the pregnancy hormones I'm dealing with right now.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

No it's not just you, I hate when the scales are.the wrong way round

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[Azurin Luna]

Same here, as if they don't care which way they should go

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Same here, as if they don't care which way they should go
You mers must hate parrot fish then. They have their scales going "the wrong way".

[Azurin Luna]

Really? I didn't know that

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Really? I didn't know that
Yes, this species has the scales going the opposite way.
https://www.petguide.com/breeds/fish/parrotfish/

[swordwhale]

:lol: I feel that!!!!

I have the same rant about a few other things: no one apparently knows what a horse looks like anymore. I grew up in the late 50s/60s when everything was a western and there were illustrators like Wesley Dennis and Sam Savitt doing horses in kids' books. Now, it's like... um, Mr Google is your friend. If you're an amateur artist, whatever you do is practice, but when you are being paid DO YOUR FRIGGIN RESEARCH!!!

Let's not even get started on Santa's Dysfunctional Reindeer Harness...

OK, let's.

Every year I do a (hopefully hilarious) rant on my blog about how Christmas is doooooomed because no seasonal artist seems to be able to spend five seconds on Mr Google looking up reindeer harness.

I have driven ponies, goats and sled dogs. I have a clue what works and what doesn't (dogs and goats are different shapes so no you can't put that sled dog x-back on a goat.... ooooops).

There is a sport called ski-joring, where you lash yourself to a couple sled dogs and ski.... you can also do it with horses, tho you just hold onto a tow line because lashing yourself to a horse will kill you.

Also...reindeer. Yes, they ski-jor with reindeer...it's certifiably nuts.

So yes, if you screw up the scales I will send out the mermaid ninjas to smite you with pool noodles....

[swordwhale]

as for parrotfish, pretty sure the actual scales overlap so the water flows toward the back (like feathers on a bird)... it's hydrodynamic. The color pattern works the other way...https://www.petguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/parrotfish.jpg

"They have large thick scales that, in some species, are strong enough to stop a spear." https://www.montereybayaquarium.org/animal-guide/fishes/parrotfish

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

It's really pretty

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[swordwhale]

yeah that would a freakin awesome tail!

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Hummmm that's a really good idea

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[Merman Dan]

But would a parrotfish mermaid poop sand and sleep in a mucus cocoon? :D

[swordwhale]

:jawdrop::lol::lol::lol:

[inanna]

that table/chart is old, swimtails ended up redesigning all their tails to fit mahina now.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Ah got ya

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[PhaylennMurúch]

I wouldn't order from swimtails at the moment anyway

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

No me either. I'm gonna order a tail from fin fun as they have a range that fit the Linden as does the mertailor

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[swordwhale]

Either the Vancouver mermaid or Nerdmaid Faith did a youtube video on the Swimtails story and its conundrums. The gist I got is they grew too fast to keep up with orders.

I love my Fin Fun stuff, affordable (even for me), works, looks great.

Of course the custom tail makers are a whole nother level of awesome.

[Mermaid Avalynn]

Well I just got a message from my doctor that I failed my glucose test. Now I have to go in on Monday and take the 3-4 hour test, take their nasty sugar drink, and get poked every hour. I'm ready for my Merling to be out and in my arms, cause all this doctor stuff with their nasty concoctions and poking needles is getting me a bit upset. Feels like I'm dealing with a Sea Witch.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Well I just got a message from my doctor that I failed my glucose test. Now I have to go in on Monday and take the 3-4 hour test, take their nasty sugar drink, and get poked every hour. I'm ready for my Merling to be out and in my arms, cause all this doctor stuff with their nasty concoctions and poking needles is getting me a bit upset. Feels like I'm dealing with a Sea Witch.Aww bless you hun not nice. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 7 years ago and the drs I was with were shit. I just got told to read all the leaflets they gave me. When I switched drs i was told i should have been on meds and i should have had a pneumonia shot. Xx

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[Mermaid Avalynn]

I just hope it was on off day and I pass the next test easy. I'm going to try and stay away from all things sugary this weekend. Never had any problems before so I'm guessing this is all baby.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Oh yes you can be diabetic when your pregnant and it just disappears when baby is here xx

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[Merman Dan]

Gestational diabetes is a thing. Sometimes it goes away after pregnancy. Sometimes not.

[Mermaid Clara]

My dad has been a massive dick. Tonight he went to eat some tortilla chips, noticed that the bag was almost empty and called me a pig assuming that I ate all of the bag while he was in the shower(which I didn’t btw, my mom at a bunch too). I’m sooo done with his bullshit and to make things worse I share a car with him and he told me I cannot use the car until I lose weight. My dad has always been mentally, verbally and a bit physically abusive(he stopped hitting me when I got out of high school though), but it has gotten worse since he’s retired.
I have no way to get out of the house because I’m unemployed right now and trying my hardest to find a job, and I don’t have my own car.
I am just super emotionally hurt and upset, even though I should be used to it by now. My mom barely does anything about his meanness, just said after I tried to talk to her about it that she would talk to him tomorrow about it.
Sorry for ranting, I’m just super hurt.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

Bless you hunny that's so noticeable or fair. For one calling you names about your weight I itself is bad enough, but it being your dad that's doing this, a man who's supposed to be your protector, who's supposed to help and guide you, is just awful. Your mum needs to frigging help.you and say something to him. My husbands father was mentally and verbally abusive to him all his life, hes was such a quiet withdrawn person when I met him. He hasn't has anything to do with his dad for about 10 years now. He was never invited to our wedding either which really upset him, (good). How does he expect my hubby to want to have a relationship after the abuse. His mum never spoke up either and now him mum has lost him too. Me being me I wouldn't be able.to keep my mouth shut and I'd find something to pick on him about. Do not let him bully you l. I know it will be hard as you live under their roof and they could easily ask you to leave. You rant on here as much as you like and if you need to rant some more I'm a good listening ear and you can find me on Facebook

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[swordwhale]

It's hard dealing with abusive people. If you are (temporarily) stuck with them, finding some kind of therapy is helpful. You are likely to find a way to independence, to setting boundaries with the jerks, and to self confidence.

What your body is like is none of his business.

Work toward whatever goals YOU need. Aim for active, healthy, eat mostly good stuff... but everyone is a different set of DNA and body chemistry and shape. You do you.

Your mom is probably feeling stuck too, and it sounds like her way of dealing with it is to do nothing. She may be lacking self confidence too.

Just keep swimming swimming swimming...

[Mermaid Clara]

Convo with my dad today
Dad: “You’ve lies to me for years”
Me: “You’re physically, mentally and verbally abusive”
Dad: “You get what you’ve deserved”

[Slim]

Convo with my dad today
Dad: “You’ve lies to me for years”
Me: “You’re physically, mentally and verbally abusive”
Dad: “You get what you’ve deserved”

No one deserves to be abused


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[PearlieMae]

Convo with my dad today
Dad: “You’ve lies to me for years”
Me: “You’re physically, mentally and verbally abusive”
Dad: “You get what you’ve deserved”

Do everything in your power to GTFO. He's never going to change, and from what I've seen here, the only thing you've done is complain about it.

[Mermaid Undinia]

Do everything in your power to GTFO. He's never going to change, and from what I've seen here, the only thing you've done is complain about it.

Sorry to change the subject but fancy meeting you here! I just signed up and you were the first person I saw! I’m the girl who recently ordered some of your beautiful oil slick seashells! Thanks for waiting till I had the funds! I can’t wait to receive them! They look amazing! Obviously I’m gonna try my hand at making a bra. They go perfectly with the Andromeda tail I ordered from Fin Folk, which should be shipped soon too! I’m so excited! But I never knew you were into mermaiding. I should have guessed given your shop name and contents lol


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[BlueCorvidae]

A mermaid from outside my local pod is bullying one of our groupie photographers. He does free photoshoots for us as a hobby, is nothing but kind, and has taught me a bit about underwater modeling. He once spent a whole day with me and another mermaid during one of our big three-day meetups (there were nearly 100 mermaids there) and just photographed us and chatted. He is not by any means a mervert or collector, and if anyone insinuates that he is, I will be very angry.

The mermaid in question is an out-of-state professional mermaid, has worked for Aquamermaid at one point, and is a swim instructor. She had a photoshoot with our photographer, (again, for FREE mind you) and he taught her how to do underwater reflection shots. She tried her hand at taking a bunch of them in her pool, and sent him all of her photos though he didn't ask for them. Then when he had another photoshoot with a friend of mine, she publicly accused him of art theft and that HE was copying HER even though he's already been doing this style of photography for years. She's also publicly decrying him as "unprofessional" even though he does all of his photoshoots for free.

Fortunately, nobody is believing her where she is currently posting this, but she is a professional mermaid and he just hangs out in our community pod. I'm already furious that she's targeting him with her drama, but I will be even more upset if she goes crying to her instagram followers or however she networks to slander him further. This photographer has been nothing but a blessing to our pod, and she's not even from our community.

[Trade Winds]

My problem: I want a tail that maybe 3 people in the world own and there's little info about it.

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[Mermaid Avalynn]

So my Merling is finally out! YAYA! He is super adorable! :) Unfortunately on the way out he ripped me up a bit and now I have annoying stitches and have not been able to leave the house for almost a month which is causing me to have cabin fever. I just wanna swim, but can't till the Dr gives me the ok. This Mer has gone without water for far too long! :(

[PearlieMae]

A mermaid from outside my local pod is bullying one of our groupie photographers. He does free photoshoots for us as a hobby, is nothing but kind, and has taught me a bit about underwater modeling. He once spent a whole day with me and another mermaid during one of our big three-day meetups (there were nearly 100 mermaids there) and just photographed us and chatted. He is not by any means a mervert or collector, and if anyone insinuates that he is, I will be very angry.

The mermaid in question is an out-of-state professional mermaid, has worked for Aquamermaid at one point, and is a swim instructor. She had a photoshoot with our photographer, (again, for FREE mind you) and he taught her how to do underwater reflection shots. She tried her hand at taking a bunch of them in her pool, and sent him all of her photos though he didn't ask for them. Then when he had another photoshoot with a friend of mine, she publicly accused him of art theft and that HE was copying HER even though he's already been doing this style of photography for years. She's also publicly decrying him as "unprofessional" even though he does all of his photoshoots for free.

Fortunately, nobody is believing her where she is currently posting this, but she is a professional mermaid and he just hangs out in our community pod. I'm already furious that she's targeting him with her drama, but I will be even more upset if she goes crying to her instagram followers or however she networks to slander him further. This photographer has been nothing but a blessing to our pod, and she's not even from our community.

She doesn't sound professional at all.

[PearlieMae]

So my Merling is finally out! YAYA! He is super adorable! :) Unfortunately on the way out he ripped me up a bit and now I have annoying stitches and have not been able to leave the house for almost a month which is causing me to have cabin fever. I just wanna swim, but can't till the Dr gives me the ok. This Mer has gone without water for far too long! :(

Congratulations on your merling! (I hated those episiotomy stitches! Like I was sewn up with barbed wire!)

[Slim]

A mermaid from outside my local pod is bullying one of our groupie photographers. He does free photoshoots for us as a hobby, is nothing but kind, and has taught me a bit about underwater modeling. He once spent a whole day with me and another mermaid during one of our big three-day meetups (there were nearly 100 mermaids there) and just photographed us and chatted. He is not by any means a mervert or collector, and if anyone insinuates that he is, I will be very angry.

The mermaid in question is an out-of-state professional mermaid, has worked for Aquamermaid at one point, and is a swim instructor. She had a photoshoot with our photographer, (again, for FREE mind you) and he taught her how to do underwater reflection shots. She tried her hand at taking a bunch of them in her pool, and sent him all of her photos though he didn't ask for them. Then when he had another photoshoot with a friend of mine, she publicly accused him of art theft and that HE was copying HER even though he's already been doing this style of photography for years. She's also publicly decrying him as "unprofessional" even though he does all of his photoshoots for free.

Fortunately, nobody is believing her where she is currently posting this, but she is a professional mermaid and he just hangs out in our community pod. I'm already furious that she's targeting him with her drama, but I will be even more upset if she goes crying to her instagram followers or however she networks to slander him further. This photographer has been nothing but a blessing to our pod, and she's not even from our community.


The photographer guy has a heart of gold and enjoys every minute of taking pictures. He really goes out of his way to make sure everyone gets the best possible picture and amazingly talented. He didn't deserve the bs she put him through. The mermaid in question though, I had her on a Facebook block for over 2 years and it looks like my intuition was right that she into mermaiding for the wrong reason. People were trying to figure out how she thought she was being copied and her response was posting a picture......she couldn't answer the question. I'm just glad he didn't let her get underneath his skin. I hate to see another person do what I had to do last year which was leave the community for a whole year just to avoid a particular mermaid.

[Mermaid Alea]

Today at the beginning of my lunch break one of my co-workers asked me if I knew my car window was broken. I didn't know what she was talking about so I went outside and someone had busted out my passenger side window and they stole my purse along with everything inside of it, money, credit cards, etc. So most of today was spent calling the bank to deactivate cards, giving a statement to the police, talking with an automotive place about getting my window replaced, cleaning out all the glass in my car, temporarily putting clear plastic over the opening, etc. It's been quite a day. I had a lot of swimming gear in my car including two monofins, a homemade fabric tail, and my GoPro but luckily they broke the window, snatched my purse and that was it.

I park on the side of our building and my desk is right by the wall that I park next to. However, today the machines were running so the thief probably broke my window when the machine was running and none of us inside would have been able to hear the robbery taking place. We don't have windows on that side of the building either. From now on I'll be parking in the front where I can see my car - previously I didn't want to take up customer parking spots but I was told I had better park up front. I am also not going to leave my purse in the car anymore. I don't really like purses but this purse was really cool it was teal and had a western look to it. My Mom gave it to me. Anyways, I'm pretty down about it. :(

[The Water Phoenix]

Today at the beginning of my lunch break one of my co-workers asked me if I knew my car window was broken. I didn't know what she was talking about so I went outside and someone had busted out my passenger side window and they stole my purse along with everything inside of it, money, credit cards, etc. So most of today was spent calling the bank to deactivate cards, giving a statement to the police, talking with an automotive place about getting my window replaced, cleaning out all the glass in my car, temporarily putting clear plastic over the opening, etc. It's been quite a day. I had a lot of swimming gear in my car including two monofins, a homemade fabric tail, and my GoPro but luckily they broke the window, snatched my purse and that was it.

I park on the side of our building and my desk is right by the wall that I park next to. However, today the machines were running so the thief probably broke my window when the machine was running and none of us inside would have been able to hear the robbery taking place. We don't have windows on that side of the building either. From now on I'll be parking in the front where I can see my car - previously I didn't want to take up customer parking spots but I was told I had better park up front. I am also not going to leave my purse in the car anymore. I don't really like purses but this purse was really cool it was teal and had a western look to it. My Mom gave it to me. Anyways, I'm pretty down about it. :(

I feel you. Some people don't have anything better to do than to cause trouble.

[the.tattooed.mermaid78]

I'm so sorry that's happened to you its awful but deffo dont leave your purse or anything else in the car full stop. It may not stop they from trying to break in again but it least you'll not theres nothing in there to steal

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[jaybay]

I hate it when people attack zoos and aquariums because "animals need to be FREE captivity is cruel!!" I wish people actually knew how much these places do to save animals :c




zen beach vibes [emoji41]

[The Water Phoenix]

I couldn’t agree more. Some of the animals can’t be released back into the wild because of various reasons!


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[Mermaid Delphinidae]

I hate it when people attack zoos and aquariums because "animals need to be FREE captivity is cruel!!" I wish people actually knew how much these places do to save animals :c




zen beach vibes [emoji41]


Agreed, but there are a lot of bad places that mistreat animals and don't do anything to help wild or captive animals. (often they just do a vague "we encourage people to care about animals!" claim) When it comes to zoos, there's this tendency for people to see some bad places and say that they're all bad, or see some good ones and say that they're all good. It's important to do your research, learn about which practices are good and which ones are harmful. Of course, there is room for debate on what is good or bad, but there are some subjects that qualified people universally agree on. (for example, breeding white tigers is bad. You will not find any legitimate animal conservation or welfare organization that says it's okay)

[jaybay]

Agreed, but there are a lot of bad places that mistreat animals and don't do anything to help wild or captive animals. (often they just do a vague "we encourage people to care about animals!" claim) When it comes to zoos, there's this tendency for people to see some bad places and say that they're all bad, or see some good ones and say that they're all good. It's important to do your research, learn about which practices are good and which ones are harmful. Of course, there is room for debate on what is good or bad, but there are some subjects that qualified people universally agree on. (for example, breeding white tigers is bad. You will not find any legitimate animal conservation or welfare organization that says it's okay)Oh of course! And while there is a lot of bad, I wish people would be more inclined to do some research. And some aquariums that have been painted in a bad light are actually amazing and NOT bad so it's really hard to tell. It's just frustrating for me, as I work with animals more than I work with people and to have someone come up and tell me I'm an animal abuser just based on where I work is just depressing.




zen beach vibes [emoji41]

[SJ mermaid]

ikr? having 3 older siblings is really just another way of saying "How to never get any respect in your own household" -_-

[Oakia]

ikr? having 4 older siblings is really just another way of saying "How to never get any respect in your own household" -_-
I have 3 younger siblings and still had no respect :/ had to move out when I was 17

[SJ mermaid]

That's awful! I hope you feel a bit better now that you are moved out and on your own :)

[Trade Winds]

Ole Trade Winds has a classic - people begging for free shipping on large items! For example I am trying to sell some mermaid tails and things I don't use anymore. A lot of people come along asking for free shipping or acting like shipping is too much. To get around this, I fool people by adjusting my prices and saying shipping is included in the price. But regardless, it's mind-numbing to constantly get people asking this. If you want free shipping, go to a website that is offering good deals on that right now. Small time sellers like me literally can't afford to be out shipping and it is rude and uncalled for to harass sellers like that.

[SJ mermaid]

It's a really weird situation. most girls think a friendship between a boy and a girl is possible, but most guys say that it's impossible, because they don't want to talk to you unless its to date. Which has happened to me honestly. I was really close friends with someone, they asked me out, I said no, and BOOM! now they barely talk to me. like, apparently i'm only interesting if you think you have a chance with me? ugh. guys are weird.

[BlueCorvidae]

It's a really weird situation. most girls think a friendship between a boy and a girl is possible, but most guys say that it's impossible, because they don't want to talk to you unless its to date. Which has happened to me honestly. I was really close friends with someone, they asked me out, I said no, and BOOM! now they barely talk to me. like, apparently i'm only interesting if you think you have a chance with me? ugh. guys are weird.

Guys like this are not your friends and they never were. If they stopped talking to you after you turned them down, they saw you as a means to get something they wanted. I've got plenty of guy friends, a few of them have made it clear that given the opportunity, they'd want to date me. But they also know I'm unavailable so they don't flirt with me, they just hang out with me for a game night every now and again. I'm even friends with my ex boyfriend. (My husband is friends with him too now, lol.)

Anyways, ultimately, guys are human beings too. Some of them are great friends, others are scummy little jerks. There's a lot of people on this planet, if some of them are being bad friends, you gotta pick new ones.

[theMerFanc]

Guys like this are not your friends and they never were. If they stopped talking to you after you turned them down, they saw you as a means to get something they wanted. I've got plenty of guy friends, a few of them have made it clear that given the opportunity, they'd want to date me. But they also know I'm unavailable so they don't flirt with me, they just hang out with me for a game night every now and again. I'm even friends with my ex boyfriend. (My husband is friends with him too now, lol.)

Anyways, ultimately, guys are human beings too. Some of them are great friends, others are scummy little jerks. There's a lot of people on this planet, if some of them are being bad friends, you gotta pick new ones.
Yea I agree. I am ace af, basically everyone in the world knows it, and I still have a handful of good male friends. Hell, even my lifemate knows theres no chance he's gonna get with me and he still married me so... It isn't impossible to have good guy friends, you just have to weed out the assholes first. Which unfortunately can be a long and daunting process...

[Echidna]

It's a really weird situation. most girls think a friendship between a boy and a girl is possible, but most guys say that it's impossible, because they don't want to talk to you unless its to date. Which has happened to me honestly. I was really close friends with someone, they asked me out, I said no, and BOOM! now they barely talk to me. like, apparently i'm only interesting if you think you have a chance with me? ugh. guys are weird.

according to a study (read it a long time ago, so don't ask the details), guys will only talk to/hang out with women they find attractive. Doesn't matter if they are married or otherwise unavailable, it's a subconscious thing. If you are unattractive in a guy's eyes, he won't have any interest in saying one word to you apparently.
I'm not sure it's true, but that's the conclusion the study makers came to^^

[Mermaid Fina]

Hello well i would seriously doubt methods of study that came to such a wierd conclusion, tons of studies that are confirming stereotypes tends to be really questionnably done for one thing and another thing is that it do not match my personnal expérience in that i always had more male than female friends but still most would’nt get it on with me even to save their life so obviously i have a lot of male friendships without attraction inside. It baffles me, seriously, that in XXIth century so many people still find some thing like male female friendship that feel so obviously natural and common to me to be some kind of urban myth almost as unbelievable as Mermaids are. Off course male female friendship exist and they are plenty of them, in my opinion the rumor pretending such a thing cant be are very laugheable.

[fabianfrz]

Do they consider clubs / places of work as well? Because maybe it might be something behind on the first contact but when you work together on something you might become friends without finding someone else attractive. Why should you talk to a total foreigner unless there is something that makes you interested into them? Does not need to be someone finding someone else attractive but can also be an uncommon property like the sport we all like to do or specific behavior. Maybe even something the person owns. If we extend the term slightly to that level that it is any person we find interesting, has something we like seems to fit us there are two groups left:
* people we do not care about / ignore
* people we dislike

So in that situation I would expect such a result. And if you find someone attractive does not mean that you want a deeper relationship than friendship.

I think the better explanation is that boys and girls are still raised differently and on shred hobbies it is no problem but for example only few guys are into cosmetics and dressing up and also the stereotypes in the other direction exist as well (IT, mechanics). If you look at the universities, some parts are dominated by males, others by females, others are mixed.

[Echidna]

yea, I don't think that study was representative really.
I know plenty of guys who married (outwardly) unattractive girls. You can be friends with anyone you get along with, appearance is completely irrelevant in that regard.
But it's true there are certain types who will feign friendship because they want to get on with you. They must have asked such types for the study^^

Once I had a several hours long discussion with a dude I met by chance about many different topics. It was a very nice and interesting conversation.
And then he started hitting on me. I told him I have two kids, and bam!, he was gone. Never heard of him again. So there you go :lol:

[Mermaid Fina]

Oh i can see that kind, i guess every girl as meet one guy like that at least once, yeah probably this guys answered the study indeed XD. Now their probably a bit of truth in what Fabian said i’m a massive tomboy with most of my interest are geeky stuff so finding geeky guy to talk about it without attraction just because shared hobby is not that hard to me. Biggest record was when i talk about a science fi show i liked with another fan just met 48 hours straight XD. I guess if your a girl who is very girly you have more a hard time finding guys who share common ground of talk with you and can get the impression they talk to you just because attraction more easily.

[TheChimera]

That's really creepy, we all seem to encounter at least one weirdo like that.

[Bortillo]

Hello, I completely understand you. I too believed my girlfriend had been unfaithful for around six months. She altered her group of friends, but she didn't introduce me to them. So I asked a friend for advice on what I should do. He suggested getting a
how to find out if your girlfriend is cheating on facebook (https://signscheating.com/facebook-cheating-signs/) . I took that counsel to heart. Fortunately, though, my fears were not realized. The girl remained loyal to me. We just had a wedding. I'm hoping the same thing happens to your narrative.