B!TC# IT OUT!

[Mermaid Lilium]

Oh gosh lils you need more than a hug. You need some girl time and some alcoholic beverages. And a few of us to fly over there

I quit drinking earlier this year :')

So hot coco, PJs, ben and jerrys and lots of movies sound good instead? lol

[OceanRose]

I am subbed to you on Tumblr and I saw you post about some of this but I wasn't really sure what it was all about.
*HUGG*
I'm so sorry you had such a rough time :-(
But Houdini is soooo cute and the story really makes me happy to read :-) and I think your leggings look amazing on you yaaays!! :-) xxxxx

[Mermaid Lilium]

I am subbed to you on Tumblr and I saw you post about some of this but I wasn't really sure what it was all about.
*HUGG*
I'm so sorry you had such a rough time :-(
But Houdini is soooo cute and the story really makes me happy to read :-) and I think your leggings look amazing on you yaaays!! :-) xxxxx

*huge hugs back* <3 Thankyouhs <3

I haven't been on tumblr much but my instagram at least feeds through into it and to facebook X_x

[SeaGlass Siren]

I quit drinking earlier this year :')

So hot coco, PJs, ben and jerrys and lots of movies sound good instead? lol

even better i dont drink anyway :D

multiple flavours of tea, bashing of the other sex (because its fun on some occasions, who doesn't want to admit it?) some treats (vegan icecream and other stuff that has dairy in it please because mad craves!), and a ton of games sound good too!

[Mermaid Lilium]

even better i dont drink anyway :D

multiple flavours of tea, bashing of the other sex (because its fun on some occasions, who doesn't want to admit it?) some treats (vegan icecream and other stuff that has dairy in it please because mad craves!), and a ton of games sound good too!

I need to hunt down this game called 'snap it' cause I've seen zoella and co (youtubers) playing it in her apartment and it looks like serious fun lol It's like those velcro bats you used to catch the ball on, except it folds in to catch the ball like a catchers mitt and then when you open it up again it launches the ball back at the other person =3

and I have epic tea you'd probably love (jasmine green tea with lavender and chamomile) and always love more epic tea finds so sounds perfect <3

I need a teleporter or something to bring everyone over so we can have a bitch sesh while on the theme park I live opposite right now too XD plenty of bedrooms for everyone too :')

[SeaGlass Siren]

I could bring over my apple cinnamon hibiscus tea :D also have the mango tea and orange tea. Also I love love loooove bitter mint tea

[Mermaid Lilium]

I could bring over my apple cinnamon hibiscus tea :D also have the mango tea and orange tea. Also I love love loooove bitter mint tea

ooooo those all sound fantabulous! ITS A DATE! :D *magically teleports you over* lol

[SeaGlass Siren]

yayyy!! <3

[SeaGlass Siren]

Haven't had a bitch fit in a while so here it goes:

recently having issues with a certain chick who likes to stick her nose into everything and loves to "correct people", changing topics or providing useless information, and she's just rubbing off on me the wrong way. And if we try to tell her how it is she's always want resources for our info. Some info just isn't recorded. Sometimes it's about personal life experiences. Honey if you want to be scholarly or want a fruitful discussion about topics you suddenly want to discuss that no way relates to what we're talking about, maybe you should find another group.

[Aziara]

Dang this pregnancy nose! My entire house stinks- there's a rotten smell in the kitchen that I can't track down, and the bedroom smells musty and there's this sickly/sweet smell. Worst part is hubby smells nothing, and can't help me track down the sources. I sometimes find it difficult to eat at home because of all the nasty smells.

[Miyu]

OMG Lilium, that's just a series of unfortunate events D: *merhugs* I'm sorry things went so crazy for you! Well at least you got a cute little furry friend out of all of it - you got pretty lucky that it wasn't just some wild rodent haha! *joins tea party with gunpowder green and yerba mate*

Ooh, Aziara, I remember that... Being able to smell EVERYTHING is not fun :/ You have my sympathies...

[PearlieMae]

Dang this pregnancy nose! My entire house stinks- there's a rotten smell in the kitchen that I can't track down, and the bedroom smells musty and there's this sickly/sweet smell. Worst part is hubby smells nothing, and can't help me track down the sources. I sometimes find it difficult to eat at home because of all the nasty smells.


Evolution can be a bitch! It gets sensitive so you don't eat anything untoward that might hurt the baby...but some smells stick with you for the rest of your life - I can't even catch a whiff of Shake-N-Bake without gagging, and my kid just turned 30!

[Talia]

My husband went to Paris today in a business trip. Upon arriving, he got a call from the University he works for, to tell him that the proposal for funds that he is applying for and that is due in 2 days time (and that his secretary delivered today) has errors of form, and it cannot be presented.

He cannot make anything to correct the mistakes. He has to wait for the Ministery of Education to cancel the submission or to open a new one so he can present it properly - if they do it, which it is not for sure. The funding he is applying for would give work for 2 years to 3 people, including a salary for him. Sometimes I hate burocracy...

[Mermaid Wesley]

Contains discussion of sexual harassment etc

IM UPSET. Here’s what happened. This guy I work with and I were becoming really good friends and i really enjoyed working with him and chatting etc. He’s MARRIED. And I have no sort of attraction to him whatsoever. So the other day I was bent over with my elbows on the table and my back bent so I could stretch it because I have a bad back and he goes don’t stand like that right there. I look and he’s right I’m in view of the customers so I moved behind a wall and resumed texting in the same position. I was all better? Lol. He goes: dont stand like that there either. And I’m all. “Oh pfff come on Lorenzo I don’t have an ass to stare at” and I walked away laughing it off. Then after we closed but were still working he comes and tells me that he’s been meaning to tell me that it bothers him when I stand that way because regardless of the fact that I have no ass it’s still kindof “erotic” and like basically that he doesn’t want to think of me like that but when I stand that way he can’t help it. So I sortof said ah got it and continued working because I didn’t really know how to respond but then I started getting really pissed and upset like that’s making his inability to control his imagination somehow my fault and like keep that to yourself plz and like now I’m not comfortable around him and it was fucked of him to say right? I’m not overreacting...?


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[deepblue]

You are NOT over-reacting.

Somehow it's your responsibility to modify your behaviour so you don't turn him on? That's pathetic and sick.

Please report this to your HR department or whatever boss you can... and if this is where he starts, who knows what he will think he can't control next.

You have every right to be angry.

[Miyu]

OH GOD that excuse again... It is never your fault for someone else not being able to control their imagination. For serious. Not everything is sexual, and you need to be able to stand/stretch in a comfortable position for your back if you need to without someone sexualizing it and then blaming it on you. That right there is where the "she/he/they was/were asking for it" defense starts, and it needs to be made very clear that that behaviour needs to stop. Letting people get away with thinking that you are in the wrong for making them feel that way just validates that and lets them start putting all the blame for their actions on other people. If he says something like that again (assuming you don't report him to HR or anything), I suggest putting your foot down and letting him know that those kind of comments are not okay and that he should be ashamed of himself for blaming others for his shortcomings.

If he's married and doesn't want to think of you that way, then maybe he should avert his eyes and think of his wife.

Sorry about the rant, I could go on for days about this kind of thing... I am super-passionate about this and for good reason.

[deepblue]

I'm sorry he ruined what was becoming a 'good friends' status relationship, too. But I'm glad he showed what kind of person he really is.

[SeaGlass Siren]

son deserve a good fish-slap.

[Drake]

I would say you are not over-reacting at all.. maybe even under reacting.. As the Sea Nymph put it, you are not responsible for his immaturity. I would be hard pressed to not say that he was wrong in saying what he did, especially being as he is married. That being said, I wonder what his wife would think of his inability to control his thoughts.

And I agree with SeaGlass.. he probably does need a good slap.. in the face.. with a wall...

[coral_sybil]

Not perfect but the first thing that comes to mind:

24452

It is not your fault, you shouldn't have to change yourself to accommodate him. It isn't your fault that he has these thoughts. There is no reason your work day should be disrupted nor should you be made uncomfortable because a male coworker may or may not have sexual thoughts about you.

I'd either tell him those comments are not appropriate and/or immediately talk to a supervisor or Human Resources.

His need to not see you as a sexual object, which at this point he already is, you bending over has nothing to do with that, should not disrupt your ability to work or make you uncomfortable.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Thanks everyone. I'm going to give him a chance to apologize simply because I enjoy him as a friend. But only after I tear him the f*ck up. I hears he's resigning too so even if it goes poorly I want him to know that what he did was wrong and either way I won't have to see him after a week or so.

Oh and today at work after ranting to a coworker we have the majority of the restaurant saying "ummm can you not stand like that?" As a joke. Only she knows what it means and I hope that he gets the picture next time he works because I want him to be as uncomfortable as possible.

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[deepblue]

Sounds like you have it under control. :) Glad you have someone supportive there. And that he's leaving!

[Mermaid Wesley]

It actually bums me out because I like him. And I want to be friends with him after I finish tearing him a new one. I don't like many people at work.


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[deepblue]

Who knows, maybe he will actually learn from it. That would be of benefit to every woman in his future.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I hope so.


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[SeaMansa]

So I'm really upset, angry, and feeling extremely low and self conscious.... why? Two words: Tonsil Stones. A few days ago, I realized I had these horrid little stones bothering me at the back of my throat, I googled it and found they were tonsil stones, little collections of bacteria that smell like Satan's bowels. They are really hard to get out on my own, and I'm really down about it because my breath has always been something I'm self conscious bout (since I have braces and have totaled harder care of my oral hygiene). I could get my tonsils removed and stop them from occurring but I've been taking the cheap way out and getting them out with q-tips. But again, I can't get them all :/ I get really down whenever I'm in a room and I hear someone say "Did someone fart? It smells like fart." because I known they are talking about me :( woe is me.

[PearlieMae]

I hope so.

Before resorting to reporting him to HR, talk to him and tell him how angry and upset you are, how his comment is inappropriate and his imagination is not your problem. Be sure to tell him that you had valued your platonic friendship, and don't let him laugh it off as a joke...("It was a joke, I was just kidding!")

Be sure to let him know how disappointed you are. Perhaps ruining a friendship over something so stupid will prevent him from doing it again in the future.

People come into your life for a reason, just as you are part of others' lives. Maybe the loss of your friendship will wake him up.

If he continues with his bad behavior, go straight to Human Resources/boss/labor department and file a formal complaint.

Good luck!

[PearlieMae]

Wow, SeaMage! I had no idea about tonsil stones and read this article about them: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/01/health/01tons.html?_r=0

What does your doctor recommend?

[Aziara]

So I'm really upset, angry, and feeling extremely low and self conscious.... why? Two words: Tonsil Stones. A few days ago, I realized I had these horrid little stones bothering me at the back of my throat, I googled it and found they were tonsil stones, little collections of bacteria that smell like Satan's bowels. They are really hard to get out on my own, and I'm really down about it because my breath has always been something I'm self conscious bout (since I have braces and have totaled harder care of my oral hygiene). I could get my tonsils removed and stop them from occurring but I've been taking the cheap way out and getting them out with q-tips. But again, I can't get them all :/ I get really down whenever I'm in a room and I hear someone say "Did someone fart? It smells like fart." because I known they are talking about me :( woe is me. yeah, I get these too. You can dip your q-tip in peroxide and swab as much of the tonsil as you can reach. I find taking magnesium helps desolve them a little, as they are usually calcium based. But mustly they have to be dug/squeezed/pushed out. I have a teeth cleaning tool like a dentist uses, I use it to go digging--I've also got a little squirt syringe with a bent tip that I use to flush the whole tonsil with water. But these only really work for me because I've been suppressing my gag reflex for years. I really wouldn't suggest getting your tonsils yanked out... your body will just find another dump site internally. That junk gotta go somewhere!

[Mermaid Galene]

White plaques on the tonsils can also be a symptom of laryngopharyngeal reflux. It's a "silent" type of reflux, because you don't get heartburn with it. I was diagnosed with this about a year ago and I manage it with diet. You might consider going to a laryngologist to assess your tonsils and larynx. If you do have that form of reflux and it goes undiagnosed/untreated, it can lead to throat cancer. Don't mean to be an alarmist, but get it checked out!

[MermaidCelesteFL]

I've been on the opposite end of the spectrum than Mermaid Wesley. When I started interning at my current office, I was one of only a few girls in my intern group. Some of the higher-up co-workers started offering the other girls to hang out with them at movies or go out to dinner with them and friends, but when I offered to hang out with them in the same way, I got the cold shoulder. Not that I was interested in anything beyond a platonic relationship, but I believed that no single girl should get better priveleges than others. These higher-ups would hover around these girls while they worked, offered them longer breaks, help if they needed it, and gave them special assignments that required very little work. Nobody did or said anything about it. These other girls were already in relationships, anyways! So when I asked these same people for some help at work (not even asking for anything outside of that), some would respond with, "ew", and ignore me. Geez, I didn't know I was THAT hideous.

A couple years later, they both got promoted to manager status, and one got fired for sexual harassment. (Big surprise there.)

[SeaMansa]

I'm planning on going to an ENT doctor next week. Hopefully, they'll just give me some antibiotics

[Mermaid Wesley]

I've been on the opposite end of the spectrum than Mermaid Wesley. When I started interning at my current office, I was one of only a few girls in my intern group. Some of the higher-up co-workers started offering the other girls to hang out with them at movies or go out to dinner with them and friends, but when I offered to hang out with them in the same way, I got the cold shoulder. Not that I was interested in anything beyond a platonic relationship, but I believed that no single girl should get better priveleges than others. These higher-ups would hover around these girls while they worked, offered them longer breaks, help if they needed it, and gave them special assignments that required very little work. Nobody did or said anything about it. These other girls were already in relationships, anyways! So when I asked these same people for some help at work (not even asking for anything outside of that), some would respond with, "ew", and ignore me. Geez, I didn't know I was THAT hideous.

A couple years later, they both got promoted to manager status, and one got fired for sexual harassment. (Big surprise there.)

It's like damned if you do damned if you don't. I'm sorry that happened to you


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[deepblue]

My last job was in HR. I was the Executive Assistant to the Director of Human Resources for a loan company about 8 years ago, and I want to mention one thing- talking to HR doesn't have to mean filing an official complaint. One thing it can mean is a 'heads up.' Sometimes an HR department- or if you're a smaller company, the HR person- wants to know if these things happen on a smaller scale like his saying what he did. They won't always tell you to open an official complaint, they won't always talk to him (or her) but it's a good idea to let them know it's happening. That way, when it comes time for the official filing of a report of sexual harassment, they will have those notes to refer to.

Every company is different, but all of them are operating under harassment laws and are very aware of how much trouble they will be in if it goes on- people sue over these things, usually with success. In California, the laws are very clear. Creating a hostile work environment through harassment of any kind is in fact illegal.

[Mermaid Wesley]

I know it's illegal and I could get him in trouble but I would like to handle it personally as we are friends


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[deepblue]

Illegal or not, a small heads up to HR doesn't have to turn into something bigger, but I do understand. Although, if he were your friend, he wouldn't have treated you that way. Anyway, I'm done. I hope you get the result you want. :)

[Mermaid Wesley]

Illegal or not, a small heads up to HR doesn't have to turn into something bigger, but I do understand. Although, if he were your friend, he wouldn't have treated you that way. Anyway, I'm done. I hope you get the result you want. :)

Thanks. And I get what you're saying, but he is actually quitting soon so I don't think it would be of much use. I'm more worried about teaching him a lesson than making sure he's held accountable.


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[Genevieve]

This might sound stupid, but I have to get it off my chest. Literally.

Movies and TV shows always portray large-busted women as being more attractive to men and looking better than normally-proportioned women in anything they wear. Not the case. It's hard to not end up looking like you're a bag lady in a muumuu or making the buttons on your shirt cry from being pulled to the brink, neither of which is a good look. I think people prefer the look of thinness/tonedness to ample bosoms these days. My own parents show more approval of me when my weight is lower -- and the girls are as concealed as possible.

I also feel a little bummed when the term "curvy" is used as a euphemism for "overweight". You can be a curvy size 0, or a straight size 28. Curvy relates to shape, not size. I'm guessing that is the word of choice because the bigger you are, the less likely you are to have a "boyish" look, but to have some ins and outs. Nonetheless, you can be curvy at any size, and it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Hell, even "overweight" doesn't necessarily equate unhealthy.

**Disclaimer** I mean no offense to anyone of any size or shape by this gripe. It is only a reflection of how I feel about myself and my mixed feelings towards my "treasure chest".

[MarkF]

Mermaid Wesley you will face this more as your job life goes on unfortunately and how you deal with it will in a large way determine which teams you become successful with. This likely won’t be the most you will hear.
The part that you said “This guy I work with and I were becoming really good friends”, real good friends?
Looking coldly at this, he’s opening up to flirt with you. When it’s inappropriate just tell him, just like in school if he’s your friend it will shut him down. As he didn't touch you and it’s just this one time- Just let him know, Mermaid don’t play that game! From what you’ve said he hasn't done this to anyone else either.
Some people are just trouble and some have just a lapse in judgment, only once while you’ve worked there? “Bad judgement.”
“really good friends” – tell him you felt that was inappropriate.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Ugh I feel you girly. Boobs suck. The only clothes that ever fit me well are hella expensive. And as far as curvy goes. Hell I just call myself curvy. I have a little waist, no butt, big ole thighs, but the boobs though. THE BOOBS. There's not really another g rated word for my body type. And if someone whines at me for benign skinny and calling myself curvy I'll just ask so what would you call me then because if there's a better word plz let me know. Oh and don't get me started on t-shirts and hoodies. Can you say blob? Ok yeah I just agree with this so hard.


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[Mermaid Wesley]

Oh I missed your post, yes I'm going to let him know for sure.


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[Lorelei]

Ugh I feel you girly. Boobs suck. The only clothes that ever fit me well are hella expensive. And as far as curvy goes. Hell I just call myself curvy. I have a little waist, no butt, big ole thighs, but the boobs though. THE BOOBS. There's not really another g rated word for my body type. And if someone whines at me for benign skinny and calling myself curvy I'll just ask so what would you call me then because if there's a better word plz let me know. Oh and don't get me started on t-shirts and hoodies. Can you say blob? Ok yeah I just agree with this so hard.


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This is actually a bit embarressing to say for me, but this is a few of the reasons why I got my breast reduction and it was honestly the best thing I ever did for myself. >< Nothing ever fit right and crying in dressing rooms was a frequent thing. All through high school I was deemed a slut for doing absolutely nothing, but having a big chest that would show through anything I wore. On top of my minor scoliosis, my back was always in knots and it was constant pain, espically when I'd try to excercise.
It was just an aweful part of life. When I first met my surgeon and he took a look at everything he said my proportions were really off (I have a really small waist and am short) and I was already starting to get shoulder indents from bras. Luckily medical insurance approved everything and I have never been happier. The only problems I seem to have now are get clothes to cover the scar, but they really aren't too bad and have healed up nicely.
I apologize if this was a bit off topic, just saying I know the annoying pain that is breasts (I guess this is my own "b! Tc# it out" post haha :) )
I hope everything works out for you, definitely set him straight because there's no reason that you have to cater to his needs just so he can control himself. :rolleyes:

[Anahita]

I also feel a little bummed when the term "curvy" is used as a euphemism for "overweight". You can be a curvy size 0, or a straight size 28. Curvy relates to shape, not size. I'm guessing that is the word of choice because the bigger you are, the less likely you are to have a "boyish" look, but to have some ins and outs. Nonetheless, you can be curvy at any size, and it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Hell, even "overweight" doesn't necessarily equate unhealthy.



This has always bothered and confused me about the English language. I don't like that when I say I'm curvy (48-26-44) people now just assume I'm covering the fact that I'm fat. I'm not. I will admit I'm a bit on the plump side, I have a higher BMI for sure, but I'm using the term correctly, because there is an over 20 inch difference between my bust and waist, and an almost 20 inch difference between my waist and hips.

In my experience, curvy is having to buy two of every pattern when you're at Jo-Ann's (one 6,8,10,12 package and one 14,16,18,20 package) and then graft the stupid things together so you have a pattern remotely in the range of your size. Not buying the 14-20 packet and taking in the waist or bust or hips in one or two inches. Curvy is not being able to wear off-the-rack dresses without altering them drastically so they fit you properly. Not buying an off-the-rack larger size dress and being able to wear it just like that. Curvy is getting frustrated because the plus-size stores are too big, but the clothes in the regular store make you look like a Hooters girl. Curvy is getting asked if you're wearing your corset that day when you haven't worn it for over a week. And needing that corset for back support because your gals don't have a sturdy enough base to anchor themselves with. Curvy is having an anxiety attack and crying when you're trying to buy bras because all the cute ones in your size are expensive as shit and no f*cking stores carry your size so you can try them on.

*sigh* I better stop. I could rant about this all day.

[deepblue]

^Yep. I so get some of that. Size 6 or 8 in the last year or two, but with curves. When I was a 90 pound fitness freak, I had curves. At 120 pounds dealing with health issues, I've got curves. lol Things that fit my booty don't tend to fit my waist. :) My upper half, not such a big diff. I don't really get THAT frustrated though, and I don't experience curvy in away that means I need to cry or eb that frustrated over it. So I guess I'm lucky in that way.

[Genevieve]

Kindred spirits indeed. Anahita's definition of "curvy" belongs in the dictionary.

Anybody ever get hexiboob? Quadriboob + extra spillage from under your arms. I used to be sporting hexiboob every day until I discovered brastop.

I keep saying, "If I go up another cup size, I'm getting a breast reduction," but that started about 6 cups ago. Props to you Lorelei for taking the plunge!

[MerEmma]

For anyone disappointed with your bra fitting, it's worth looking into making sure you're in the correct size! We've talked about it here on the forum before and the Reddit community (http://www.reddit.com/r/abrathatfits) is a tremendous help. In the US bra sizing is completely whacked up and not at all standardized. A bra should contain all of your breasts, including the extra spillage under your arms. :)

[Miyu]

MerEmma and Nerine have both helped me immensely with the bra-fitting advice, now I can actually find bras that fit and IT'S AMAZING. Seriously, learning how to measure your bra size properly (and how to find the sister sizes!), will make a huge difference in how easy it is to shop for bras - and how nicely they fit!

(as for my bewb problems... I'm a teeny tiny short person and I have a fairly large pair... and most bra companies seem to think that people with really small ribcages can have big boobs.)

[Mermaid Jaffa]

most bra companies seem to think that people with really small ribcages can have big boobs.)

You can blame Japanese anime for that. Such unrealistic stats.

[Miyu]

oops, i meant to say "can't" - silly keyboard :P

But yes, apparently if you have a small ribcage and large-ish boobs, they're supposed to magically stay up on their own, so I have yet to actually find a bathing suit top that fits properly >.< Finding my actual bra size is nigh impossible in stores, so I've had to depend on "sister sizes".

[Genevieve]

The UK seems to be the only place that gets how breasts actually work. Brastop has reasonably priced bras (considering the size and shipping across the pond). I love the "Cleo" and "Curvy Kate" brands. If it weren't for them, I'd be making my swim tops out of those 200 year old giant clams. Which might look kind of cool, actually. Back away, mergirls, I call dibs on that one!

24472

[Amphitrite]

Apparently I'm not allowed to express myself elsewhere. Pathetic. I wasn't being rude or anything I was ranting. If you don't like it tough. Get away from me you obnoxious people! < Something along the lines of what I felt like saying.

[deepblue]

Not related to any of this, I'm having one of those days where I feel like I'm either not being understood at all or wow is my communication lacking. /vent

[SeaGlass Siren]

^ me too surely :hugs:

[Genevieve]

It's related to ranting. Splashing good feels your way.

[Anahita]

Unrelated to my bewbz and curvy rant....

I'm soooooo sick of packing. My anxiety is getting the better of me and I feel like I've had a seizure (even though I haven't had an alert for one in over a week). I have one more day between right now and my move.

It just keeps getting more stressful because first the move-in time had to get pushed back because the guy who lived there before me TOOK THE F*CKING KEYS WITH HIM and didn't even bother to bring them back until the next afternoon. Then I had to tell my mom (who took the day off to help me move and get the moving van for me) and instead of her just saying "no problem, it's not your fault" like a normal parent, she whined about it and reminded me that this was a favor she was doing me and can't I move it to earlier?

No. Don't you think I tried? Eesh

Then on move-in day I have like a dozen other things I need to do (call my insurance company, get my parking reservations, take a drug test for a job that I was unable to take Friday because I spent all the time Friday at the employment agency filling out paperwork they could have given me much earlier, pick up an antique dresser from this guy's house because my new apartment doesn't have any closets to hang my clothes in....) and they're all pretty equally important. I'm going to have to do it all on pretty much no sleep as well, since I'm not likely going to be able to and be completely packed in time.

Oh, and to top it off, because my service dog was a rescue and comes with her own emotional baggage, all this packing is also making her nervous.... And sick. She keeps puking and doesn't want to eat her kibble or let me get up to pack.... She's just moping around, crying, following me, trying to get me to pick her up and cuddle her, and puking.

It sucks. F*************************ck
*sigh*

[Mermaid Wesley]

So I was a bitch all day at work and he noticed. At the end of the day he said "I haven't been able to make you smile all day! you've been so zoned out!"
So I said "I'm not zoned out don't worry about it" in a voice that said 'worry about it' he goes "that bad?" And I made a pissed off smile. He said "it's not pertaining to me I hope?" And I sortof laughed and said "i don't know is it?" He said "Damn!" Like 'woah' And then I walked over to my manager asked her if I could leave, and walked out the door. He said "see ya?" I said 'bye'. Short clipped and angry without looking at him and left. I don't deal well with confrontation and I'm really shakey right now.


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[Mermaid Wesley]

We talked via text. He wants to meet with me tomorrow so that I can yell at him. He keeps apologizing even though he doesn't even know why I'm mad yet. At least his obvious distress has put me in a better mood and I might be able to get some sleep.


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[SeaSister]

On the topic of boobs...

I have the opposite problem of most of you. My boobs are tiny. Like, if you could take them off of my body and roll them up into a ball they would each be the size of a softball. But it seems like I can never complain about them because every girl with larger boobs (that is, pretty much every girl I know) will fire back at me with how lucky I am to have small boobs. They tell me about all of the problems they have with sizes, physical activity, unwanted attention, etc. and say that they would gladly have my baseball-sized mounds instead. There is only one girl I know who has smaller breasts than me, and even she tells me not to complain because, well, mine are (slightly) larger than hers.

But what most girls with normal boobs don't understand is just HOW fucking awful it is to have small boobs. It seriously causes me a lot of distress and I am so incredibly and unbelievably jealous of girls with beautiful breasts. To make it look like I have any cleavage, I have to essentially tape my nipples together (which, you can probably imagine, would look really weird... uniboob anyone?). I've never had the "problem" of guys staring at me, but frankly, I wish I did. People try to console me and say that guys don't care about breast size, but I know that that is absolutely untrue. Simply put, I just don't look as "feminine" as other girls. I will confess that part of this is my own fault, since I also have a short haircut which, although not boyish at all, isn't as "feminine" as the long flowing locks that most other women have (not that I ever had those lovely, thin curls; my hair is extremely thick and coarse and was a total pain to manage while it was long). People have also told me that I'm still young and there's a chance that they might keep growing, but as the years have slipped by and my breasts still resemble those of a gangly 13-year-old, I've lost all hope of that happening. I have been seriously considering breast enlargement, but I'm a poor, starving student... I can't even save up for a $3,000 silicone tail in the near future, so how can I expect to pay for a $10,000 surgery? And even then, I'm still not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of carrying two silicone sacs under my skin... but ugh, I'm just so sick of being a chubby, flat-chested, boyish-looking girl and so, so ready to feel like a gorgeously voluptuous woman for once in my life.

I apologize for that self-pitying mess of a rant... I'm just really tired and feeling particularly crummy and unattractive tonight. :/

[Miyu]

Okay, time for a little rant...

My room is a porch with carpeting in it. It is never the right temperature - always either too hot or too cold. We have now moved into the "always too cold" part of the year. It's harder to deal with than summer, because all I need then is a fan... In cooler months, there's no good way to heat the room other than a tiny space heater (which, you know, is not not exactly supposed to be going all the time).


Also, I was getting ready for bed, I had washed my pillow and ran it through the dryer 3 times (I have a fluffy pillow). I went to go get it... and my roommate had taken it out of the dryer and set it on top of the dryer... which is in the back bathroom... which all the boys use... and several of the boys have problems remembering to put the lid down when they flush... :headwall: I have a skin condition - cystic acne - and really super-thin skin, so I really have to be diligent about germs and things like that, or else I end up looking like I've been beaten (because my face will be black and blue and swollen all over, as well as being painful). And the crummy part is that he hadn't even put in his clothes yet, because they were still in the washer! But my housemates don't think about things like that, because they are "permanent bachelors" and just don't think about things in general most of the time. They're also fairly unhygienic in general, bleh.

So now, once again, I get to sound like the evil nagging sea-witch here because to everyone else it just sounds like I'm being a germaphobe... but I've spent years figuring out what I have to do to keep my face within tolerable pain/ickiness levels, and I'll be damned if I'm going to have to go to the hospital for antibiotics in a few days because someone couldn't think where they were setting SOMEONE ELSE'S PILLOW, jeez...:gah:



Talk about first-world problems, LOL...

[Echidna]

I'd go insane with unhygienic dudes as roommates in about one week, tops :p
Nah, make that a day.

You should move out of there, and get a cat as company instead. ;)

[Miyu]

Trying to work on the moving out part... Already have the kitty (Gingerbread)!

[Genevieve]

Miyu, I say it only counts as a First World problem if it's superfluous and unnecessary. If it affects your health in any way, it's a legit problem.

[PearlieMae]

Wesley, I'm glad you are going to let him know how disappointed you are in him. I know it's difficult to just last your cards on the table and yesterday's passive/aggressive treatment has put him on alert. I hate confrontation, but my beau has shown me how much better it is to just come out and say what's bothering him. Cut to the chase and let him have it.

Miyu, can you invest in another pillow as back up and keep it sealed in one of this vacuum storage bags? I've never heard a good roommate story, and they won't learn. I hope you can extract yourself from that living situation soon.

Anahita, I'm so sorry the move is stressing you and your dog! I hope things calm down soon!

And as a flat chested, big butted, middle aged (if I live to 108) woman, I can tell my other pancake sisters DON'T WASTE TIME STRESSING OVER SMALL TITTIES! Seriously! I never even reached a B-cup until I was six months pregnant, and ttery arol don't touch my chest underneath. To top it off, I have very dark coloring and the only reason I wear a bra is so they don't show through my shirt...and for some bizarre reason, people are bothered by pointy nips. You know what? THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. One day you might realize, as I did, that fretting over small tits is such a waste of time and energy.

As for my large busted sisters, I can't say I haven't envied your girls, but in the long run, I don't envy you your issues! Some things I've read here I've never even considered!

So that's my bitching/pontificating for today. Love to you all! :mermaid kiss:

[Mermaid Lilium]

miyu... *huge cuddly mermaid hugs*

brb....


*tailslaps your housemates*

better? :D

[Miyu]

awww thank you guys so much :3 I stayed up for another three hours last night to have my pillow for bed. Really, my housemates do need some serious tailslaps... with massive heavy art tails >.<

We had been thinking of also getting a backup pillow for me. It sucks having stupid little health issues like this. I don't like complaining about it because it makes me feel like a whiner when there are so many bigger problems out there. Hopefully we can move out in a few months if my mertender gets more work (and maybe if I make more sales).

[Mermaid Wesley]

And the thrilling conclusion: I scolded him like a child. He apologized very very profusely and sincerely. I explained why I am upset and he told me that wasn't his intention but that he is sorry anyways. He did everything right and we talked about life for a while. I didn't just salvage the friendship I think I made it stronger.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Kelda]

That's fantastic Wesley! I'm glad it went so well. You got a stronger friendship, and you taught him the error of his ways ;)

[PearlieMae]

Awesome news, Wesley!

[SeaGlass Siren]

that's great to hear wesley!

[Sherielle]

I went to San Antonio this weekend for a paranormal convention.
I sold one pendant. There was hardly anyone there.
Unfortunately, it was competing with Alamo City Comic Con just down the street.
Wasted time and money.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Thanks all! And I'm sorry Aurelia that sucks


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[Mermaid Lilium]

I just got told about the mermaid workshop today. AGAIN. T_T by my goddamn physio of all people!

*tableflip*

[Mizuko]

I just looked on Mertailor's Facebook page... and there's a tail painted very very similarly to my Merbellas tail -__- I know it could just be a coincidence, but I cant help feeling the client may have taken 'inspiration' from my tail. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, but it sucks... My Merbellas tail is my calling card, people know me by it. Its a very personal thing.
Sigh.

[MerEmma]

Oh wow, that tail is pretty similar. There's no gold or yellow on the end of the fluke in the photo at least...I love your tail SO much, and at least it's probably going to a different place entirely.

[Merman Arion]

I honestly do not see them as similar because I didn't think of you when I saw that tail on his page. Sure, both have blue and pink but that's pretty much about it.
Do not take it personal. It's just a coincidence.

[Mizuko]

From a distance, to the untrained tail-eye (lol), they will look almost identical. That bothers me. I'm not taking it personally: I did say I know its probably a coincidence, but its still not fun when you see a colour-scheme you identify with (and clients identify me with) being used on another tail. For us, we can see the differences, but for someone who is just searching the net or whatever all they will see will be the pink fluke and the blue tail.
Anyway, I just needed to vent.
Mine is prettier. haha.

[MarkF]

Just like your legs. You just see the tail, but everybody else sees you in the tail and you make the difference.
Close, simular, looks like, but not you.

[Harpress]

I just looked on Mertailor's Facebook page... and there's a tail painted very very similarly to my Merbellas tail -__- I know it could just be a coincidence, but I cant help feeling the client may have taken 'inspiration' from my tail. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, but it sucks... My Merbellas tail is my calling card, people know me by it. Its a very personal thing.
Sigh.

I know how that feels Mizuko. Not with tails but my custom designed Harp. An Instrument, (and I include tail when I say this) Is a tool that enables an artist to express themselves at a soul level.
I loved the fact that my harp was a one of a kind with a "wave" inspired sweeping buttress and "Mer~fluke/dragon wing like" effect on the column. And the colour is illuminescent ( and you know how we love that!) that shifts shades in different lights.
After my harp came out the maker had requests based on my harp. It bugged me at first. But in all honesty, If I seen a harp like it I would want it too!!!
It's just the way it goes unfortunately when something is created that resonates and ignites and inspires other people. Things of beauty have this affect.
Maybe try to think of it this way Mizuko.. Take it as a HUGE COMPLIMENT! People love your tail! And so much it has inspired them to want similar.
I know it doesn't take away the frustration that your "Instrument" is something that is unique to you and is how you are identified.. This is the downer of the situation.
But it does help to look at it from the angle of inspiration. I hope that settles the sting even just a little for you xx
No denying your tail is stunning! :)

24683

[deepblue]

That is a gorgeous harp!


From a distance, to the untrained tail-eye (lol), they will look almost identical. That bothers me. I'm not taking it personally: I did say I know its probably a coincidence, but its still not fun when you see a colour-scheme you identify with (and clients identify me with) being used on another tail. For us, we can see the differences, but for someone who is just searching the net or whatever all they will see will be the pink fluke and the blue tail.
Anyway, I just needed to vent.
Mine is prettier. haha.

If it is coincidence, it's a pretty strong one. It looks like someone wanted a tail just like yours and got a knock-off. Still, yours does look much nicer.
Reminds me of people who get unique tattoos they saw on someone else... sort of loses its uniqueness when you copy.

[Fifi Tigg]

I just looked on Mertailor's Facebook page... and there's a tail painted very very similarly to my Merbellas tail -__- I know it could just be a coincidence, but I cant help feeling the client may have taken 'inspiration' from my tail. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, but it sucks... My Merbellas tail is my calling card, people know me by it. Its a very personal thing.
Sigh.
I saw that pic of the tail and immediately thought of you!
That person may have a tail the same as you but your sparkling personality will outshine anyone :mermaid kiss:

[Mizuko]

Thank you everyone <3 It sucks. lol. But I just have to keep swimming and doing what I do!
And wow Harpress that is an INCREDIBLE harp!

[Shimmer Mermaid]

I hate that it's so hard for me to find female friends, or friends in real life. It's just practically impossible. And when people who don't even know you, think they can say that you're a Sl*t or someone who goes around, when you've been with 2 people in your WHOLE LIFE, you are an adult, and you were in a serious relationship with both people and are still in the second relationship and are fixing to be married to said guy. >.< Older people thinking that I "need a real job and quit being a mermaid" Like, just stop. People (who have literally never even done the thing they are griping about you doing wrong) saying that they know more on the subject, for example, I have been around horses all of my life, trained them all of my life, using lakota methods, because I am a lakota, and then people who have never even been around a horse saying that I shouldn't pet them a certain way or something stupid like that. UGH

[SeaGlass Siren]

Dear in laws, no I will not machine gun your grandchildren out of my vagina for you. I haven't even been married to your son for a year yet and you are already down my throat trying to plump me up to withstand childbirth??? I'm only twenty three!!! If you are pining for grandchildren so badly, kindly look towards your other two eldest and very financially stable children. My uterus isn't for housing a baby for 9 full months. Thaaaaanks!

[deepblue]

SeaaGlass, that was a heck of a speech. lol A thing of beauty! And even if you wanted several kids, having someone else pressure you before you are ready is so beyond aggravating.

I need to vent.

I really have to give up on the idea of swimming anywhere, anytime soon. I had hope for a YMCA membership, but I can't get there (I can't use public transportation because of severe allergies to cig smoke, and smokers are EVERYWHERE at bus and trolley stops), and I couldn't use their daycare for... reasons, and now I'm less than a month away from my daughters first of four surgeries, so I won't have time to myself anyway- which I am fine with, and not complaining about, I'm a mom and that's my commitment, and I am beyond grateful I can be there for her full time. Just saying, really bummed about no swimming. I need to put effort into making a car part of my reality.

Also... I really need my personality to shift into one that doesn't mind attention. I really hate attention, and I see the kind of attention people in tails get at beaches and public places, and I simply hate the idea of random strangers talking to me. argh. If it were just children, it'd be fine. If I were in a professional capacity, I'd be fine, but I don't think I'll ever be that.

Just aggravated this morning, thinking of how I have this passion I can't do anything about.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Thankyou surly! Yeah being pressured into anything sucks especially since they won't respect your body or decisions about your body :/

so sorry about your daughter! And the whole swimming thing :(

[deepblue]

Thanks- this whole surgery thing is so hard on a five year old. :( Esp since it went from 'a surgery' to at least four, and hoping it doesn't end up even more.

Also I should be packing. It is boring. But we move tomorrow!

[Kaila Mermaid]

Best of luck Surly! I hope your wee one makes a full recovery :)


Sent from the bottom of the sea using Tapatalk

[Mermaid Jaffa]

The thing that irritates me the most, is when family members think I'm gone total bonkers, and some do say it in my face, that there are no old mermaids or granny mermaids, when all I try to explain is that the tail is just for giggles and the monofin is for exercise. They just don't get it, that it takes a lot of energy and exertion to do so. Then they make snark comments on my tails.

"What type of fish are you?"
My reply, "None. I choose colors that I like."
Their reply, "Then you're not a real mermaid. And you're so old. Behaving like a kid."
Me, "This sounds like the same chat we had last time. Not trying to be real, just making MY exercise time a funny experience. It has nothing to do with trying to be real, making money or trying to be young again. Its just for me only."

At this point I normally give up trying to explain, and just walk away. Experience has taught me that I never win at anything within my family. 40 years of being wordy beatings, and one just shuts up and walk away.

Mega fin slaps for them all!!:mad:

I'll be 50 in three years. I'll have a mermaid beach party somewhere, hopefully this menopause thing is over by then. I cannot stand the flushes, the terrible mood swings and the incoherent ramblings at the keyboard... Everyone is invited!

[PearlieMae]

Jaffa, I'm 54, and there are mers close to my age and older here! Rise above, because deep down, your detractors are jealous of your creativity and courage. They have no power over you!

And the menopause stuff calms down eventually ;)

[Keiris]

Why should anyone undermine your dreams and creativity, Jaffa?! Rediculous! You are not old by any means. Think of the average age of the "Housewives" on all the tv franchises. Some are in their 60's and look terrific! I agree with Pearlie. Your family is just jealous. Tell them to piss off!

[Mermaid Galene]

Jaffa, don't let them get you down. Just say "I'm an adult, which means I decide what I want to be. Ah, it feels so good to be me, fins and all!" Then walk away with a big smile on your face. Nobody can tell you you're too old for anything you really care about. Sea turtles can live to be 100 years old, so why can't a mermaid be in the prime of her life at 50 or 150 or 250? I'm 59, I just got my first paying professional mermaid gig, and I expect to be swimming, singing, and performing as a mermaid for at least 15 more years.

And, yeah, life on the flip side of menopause is lovely. Hang in there!

[Miyu]

^What Galene said!!! Seriously, Galene is one of my biggest mermaid inspirations :)

Jaffa, dis is for you:

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/haters%20gonna%20hate/grand/haters-gonna-hate-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-32.gif

http://i53.tinypic.com/2z80rw9.gif

[Rivertee]

Why is it so hard to believe that I am working to be a mermaid!? No I'm not skinny (but I have lost a LOT of weight due to swimming), no I'm not wanting to make money (I LOVE to make kids happy), and no I'm not looking for attention! Seriously, I love who I am but I am self conscious about how I look, can we leave that out of reasons why this is a bad idea? And to constantly remind me of being picked on in school because of my hobbies and figure doesn't help anything, I've not cried about my appearance i almost 10 years but hearing this from my closest friends and family....it hurts

ok I'm done

[MarkF]

Mermaid Jaffa, oh goodness. Take the pearl out of their shell and tell them first.
When challenged join the humor, say “What tail? ”while your wearing it or if they say your crazy tell them “Thank you” Usually they are looking for confrontation with statements like that. They’ll feel cheap after that and wind down. “Maybe not, their family”
At some point other peoples opinion has to be worth less than your own. We are Merfolk because it makes us happy. “Unless your PearlieMae, I think they photoshop legs on her.” At what point in your life do you give your own happiness a higher urgency than their need to feel superior. If they make you feel your to old I’m 60 in 6 months and I’m a guy!, unusually good shape, but pert near 60!
Hek double down and wear your Shells around the house, that’ll make’em sit on the shore. ;)

[deepblue]

I'll join the chorus, Jaffa- I'm 44. I do not have one damn to give about what others think of my mermaid passion (I don't like attention, but I don't actually care if it's good or bad. lol) One of my friends, upon site of yet another tail pic shared on my FB, said, "You have a weird fetish." (he knows it's no fetish) And then he said he was joking, and it rather pissed me off because no one has any right to infringe on whatever makes us happy as long as we're not hurting anyone. And we're not.

Hang in there, Mermaid.


Why is it so hard to believe that I am working to be a mermaid!? No I'm not skinny (but I have lost a LOT of weight due to swimming), no I'm not wanting to make money (I LOVE to make kids happy), and no I'm not looking for attention! Seriously, I love who I am but I am self conscious about how I look, can we leave that out of reasons why this is a bad idea? And to constantly remind me of being picked on in school because of my hobbies and figure doesn't help anything, I've not cried about my appearance i almost 10 years but hearing this from my closest friends and family....it hurts.

It never ceases to amaze me how much so many people want to make our business theirs. And, btw, there are plenty of 'not skinny' mers. Body types mean nothing in mermaiding. We're as diverse as it gets.

[Miyu]

If all mermaids have to be skinny to be "real" or accepted, then does that mean all humans need to be fat? :p

Seriously though, there are so many amazing and beautiful larger mers! I'm actually a bit envious of all the larger mers I've seen, they seem to have an easier time in the water and swimming, LOL!

Even Disney's The Little Mermaid had larger mers...

[MermaidCelesteFL]

One of my friends, upon site of yet another tail pic shared on my FB, said, "You have a weird fetish." (he knows it's no fetish) And then he said he was joking, and it rather pissed me off because no one has any right to infringe on whatever makes us happy as long as we're not hurting anyone. And we're not.


This was the reason why I had to create an entirely different facebook page for my cosplay and mermaid hobbies. A couple of years ago , one of my coworkers decided to show off my cosplays to everyone in my office and I was called a freak for weeks. Even the managers couldn't take me seriously.

[Miyu]

... I still don't understand why anyone would make fun of you for being a costumer... Like, how do they think the big movies and tv shows and everything get costumes? They just magically appear? Costumers are a vital role to our entertainment system, even small-scale (LOL pun not intended) costumers who aren't pro...

For me personally, since I have little chance of anyone wanting to hire me as a performing artist, costuming is my end-goal career, and all the time I spend doing it as a hobby just improves what I can do so that some day I'll be able to wow some execs with my creations! ;)

[MarkF]

MermaidCelesteFL-You are in the epicenter of Merdom "Florida."
I wish you could have put him or her in the middle of a group of merfirends so they'd be the outsider. NA, that wouldn't work. Merfolks are fun.
I got it- let them try a tail with a group of Merfriends and see the smiles on the adults and the awe on kids faces and turn them into converts. No then they'd want to go with you all the time.
Well your not the first to need a second facebook page.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Thank you for all your kind words and support!

Its nice to know there are other Grey Merfolk out there.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

^What Galene said!!! Seriously, Galene is one of my biggest mermaid inspirations :)

Jaffa, dis is for you:

http://www.gifsforum.com/images/gif/haters%20gonna%20hate/grand/haters-gonna-hate-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-32.gif

http://i53.tinypic.com/2z80rw9.gif

Hmm... I don't remember seeing Ursula doing that in the movie...:lol:

[Meronica]

My bust size has always bugged me off and on throughout the years. I'm 20, 5'7", but pretty thin so naturally my boobs aren't very big (32B). I really don't mind, but that has always been the first thing people use to try to insult me, and it makes me a target for dirty older men who want an underage girl because of my young appearance. The rest of the women in my family are pretty busty as well (but also heavier). People tend to think that I'm younger than my 17-year-old little sister. -.-

The kicker is that about two months ago my darling boyfriend (who is lovely to me otherwise and fully supports my mermaiding) got drunk on a night out with his buddies and texted me asking if I'd ever get breast implants so I could be "perfect". I was pretty hurt by this and he ended up apologizing the next day, but it's stuck in the back of my mind and on some days it's easy to feel like I'm just not attractive at all because of something so dumb and trivial as bust size. :/ But I guess that's all people notice about me...?

[MarkF]

Meronica don’t feel incomplete because you think your bust size has anything to do with how your friends perceive you. You are perfect. If for style reasons you can wear enhancing underclothing.
In case you think I’m telling you this to make feel better look at who is also your size and has no problem with finding attention when they want it. Actresses with a 32B size use this link and see who else shares your size.

https://www.google.com/search?q=actress+with+32b+breast+size&safe=off&espv=2&biw=1145&bih=906&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=_8A6VKGCA7DXigKmloHADg&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ

As for this B-Friend there will always be something-Always.
Breast enlargement is for you. (and not him)

[Mermaid Wesley]

My bust size has always bugged me off and on throughout the years. I'm 20, 5'7", but pretty thin so naturally my boobs aren't very big (32B). I really don't mind, but that has always been the first thing people use to try to insult me, and it makes me a target for dirty older men who want an underage girl because of my young appearance. The rest of the women in my family are pretty busty as well (but also heavier). People tend to think that I'm younger than my 17-year-old little sister. -.-

The kicker is that about two months ago my darling boyfriend (who is lovely to me otherwise and fully supports my mermaiding) got drunk on a night out with his buddies and texted me asking if I'd ever get breast implants so I could be "perfect". I was pretty hurt by this and he ended up apologizing the next day, but it's stuck in the back of my mind and on some days it's easy to feel like I'm just not attractive at all because of something so dumb and trivial as bust size. :/ But I guess that's all people notice about me...?


Hey girl, all boobs are good boobs. Small boobs are cute big boobs are cute BOOBS. NO boobs are cute. YOURE cute. From the other side, having big boobs makes me a target for lewd comments all day erryday, It makes it hard to find clothes that fit and are flattering, and people judge me IMMEDIATELY because of my body. "Oh i didnt know you were smart" (in a university class. ugh) What im saying is screw them. People will always find something to make fun of on another person no matter how conventionally attractive they are.Your body is your body. Nobody elses opinion matters AT ALL. If i were you i would absolutely chew out the boyfriend for saying that because it wasnt cool at all. Especially if youre still thinking about it. Nobody gets to make you feel bad about your body ok? and I promise people dont always look at you and think small boobs. Youre perfect already. THAT BEING SAID. if you ever DID want a breast enhancement for yourself, thats ok too. Your body, your rules.:mermaid kiss:

[Meronica]

Thanks guys. Wesley, it's nice to hear someone at the other end of the spectrum b!tc#ing it out as well. I guess people will find a way to pick on you no matter what you look like. I'm very anti-boob job and feel fine about how I look personally, so I guess I need to just not care what other people think. :/ It's really easy to forget the positives and dwell on the negatives.

[Talia]

Meronica, another big breasted girl here (38D), and I echo completely Wesley' sentiments. Another bad thing about big breasts is, at least for me, the back aching (people tend to forget that big boobs are heavy), and the impossibility of go bra-less (not to mention the lacking of mermaid tops in the market for people of our bra size).

I would do size reduction surgery if it wasn't so darn expensive, and because I do not want to enter an operation room unless it is absolutely necessary - an operation like that scares the shit out of me.

The only thing that matters is what you want/ how you feel. :hug:

[PearlieMae]

Please don't waste another nanosecond fretting about boob size! Or what other people think of your size, or age, or hobby or profession! It's a total waste if time and energy!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Ahh Meronica, people can be real jerks. I'm a B too, but I used to be a D, and very self-conscious about it. I would wear a sport bra, duck tape over it, and then another bra to make myself smaller. It was very uncomfortable for sports (I used to be a diver.) I am much, much happier with my current size. We don't have to wear bras! There are so many cool designs where a bra would show and look bad, and we can totally rock those looks. Every body, busty or not, has its perks.

As for the creepy dirty old man perverts, I find that if you call them on that right away, they get freaked and go away. I'm not shy with that. Just be direct and say, "you're being gross, and you have no right to sexualize me, and you're a pervert who likes young girls. Leave me alone." Say it loud and clear, better if other people overhear, because it draws a clear line of what is unacceptable to you, and drawing attention in that circumstance can be really helpful. If they keep talking, or trying to make excuses, keep saying, "leave me alone" over and over, louder each time, until they do. They will. I've had men do this to me while I was wearing a sari, while I had clothes on over my dance leotard, when wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It's disgusting, and wearing a pretty tail is not an excuse for anyone to make you uncomfortable.

As for the boyfriend, tell him it's as horrible and hurtful as if you asked him to get a penis enlargement, and how would he feel about himself if you asked him to do that? Drunk or not, that was an awful thing to say to you, because clearly you're awesome, small boobs and all. :)

[shimmygoddess]

I am self conscious too. I used to also be a D, but after nursing 3 kids, they are just not the same. I have considered implants basically to be back to what I used to be, but my hubby is against it. Thank goodness for Victoria Secrets padded pushup everything bras...LOL

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Don't be sad Meronica. I used to be an 32B size when I was in high school and then throughout my teenage age years, and up to my mid 30s. After awhile, and years, you gain some weight and go up a size or two. I am now a 34C bra.

[Merman Dan]

Why is it that I cannot get this song out of my head, now? ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl6w_DqvNbA

[Vrindavana Starfish]

Bwahahahahaha!

[Sherielle]

The thing that irritates me the most, is when family members think I'm gone total bonkers, and some do say it in my face, that there are no old mermaids or granny mermaids, when all I try to explain is that the tail is just for giggles and the monofin is for exercise. They just don't get it, that it takes a lot of energy and exertion to do so. Then they make snark comments on my tails.

"What type of fish are you?"
My reply, "None. I choose colors that I like."
Their reply, "Then you're not a real mermaid. And you're so old. Behaving like a kid."
Me, "This sounds like the same chat we had last time. Not trying to be real, just making MY exercise time a funny experience. It has nothing to do with trying to be real, making money or trying to be young again. Its just for me only."

At this point I normally give up trying to explain, and just walk away. Experience has taught me that I never win at anything within my family. 40 years of being wordy beatings, and one just shuts up and walk away.

Mega fin slaps for them all!!:mad:

I'll be 50 in three years. I'll have a mermaid beach party somewhere, hopefully this menopause thing is over by then. I cannot stand the flushes, the terrible mood swings and the incoherent ramblings at the keyboard... Everyone is invited!We are the same age! I just started mermaiding myself and plan to be doing it as a performer for a while. Screw them. you got us.

[maressa]

I hate passive aggressive people!!! I was out at an event I produce last night to support the event and socialize with patrons and another older woman who does events snidely commented that every time she wants to do something, I'm already working on it or 'shark' the idea from her... and also little comments about how she 'doesn't have the money' to start things and doesn't make any once she does. This from the woman who I gave a start to and got the connections she now uses daily... as well as who just spent thousands on new boobs. Uh, one, you never tell me any of your ideas or mention what you're working on, so how I am I supposed to know? Also, uhhhh, I'm sorry, I just come up with ideas, take action on them, pour all my time into them, prioritize my time, and make them happen- and I'm business minded so I, and everyone who works with me, makes money! Sorry that I'm successful??? :P I feel bad for her but the passive aggressive jealousy thing does not sit well with me!

[Rivertee]

Those who envy others often become bitter and sour, this in rurn leaves a bad taste in the mouths of company

[maressa]

Those who envy others often become bitter and sour, this in rurn leaves a bad taste in the mouths of company
She's incredibly bitter, and openly told me that she 'sucked up' to me when she met me because she knew it would get her more opportunities. Seriously??? Gah!

[Rivertee]

Hmm wonder how long before she turns green?

[Lucinda]

I hate making appointments over the phone. Best one yet:

Pre-recorded voice: "You are still in the queue. If you would like us to call you back during the course of the day, please press 1."
With what?!? My phone doesn't have an actual, physical number pad or keyboard!
And do they have to play that same song over and over again (in between the pre-recorded messages). It's like... gah!

[SeaMansa]

Know what really grinds my gears? BAD *EFFING* WRITERS! One of my favorite shows is really going downhill and worst of all the entire fandom is split down the middle all because of "ships". What's worse is that the writers seem to be fan pandering rather than focusing on a good story, or the original story they had planned. So now this show which I loved so much is basically crap and im sick of arguing with other fans about fictional characters. Like I am so done.
For those who don't know, "ships" is a term for couples in a relationship, like Harry/Hermione or Bella/Edward, etc.

[maressa]

An update to the above rant... she has since decided to post 'poor me' aggressive Facebook statuses (not directly naming me of course) as well as texting me begging to be included in one of my shows because she 'really needs the money'. Le sigh. I wrote her and asked her if we could just meet up and talk it out because obviously she has some pent up issues with me... but isn't just telling me directly.

[SummerRogue]

Ugh I'm my boobs just won't stop growing, I gonna be one of the women with size K boobs or something, I'm 17 and i'll be 18 in december and by boobs are a 36G, it's hard enough to find bras as it is, but now they've started coming out of my new bra that I got bought like a week ago, I wear bigger clothing sizes than I should be and anything that I wear kind of rides up around my stomach now and oh my gawd it's hard to fund a mermaid top, I've started to make my own but that's going to take soooo long as I have a small business that my sister started and just handed it to me without warning but that's another rant lol. Sorry rant thing over :/

[SeaGlass Siren]

Why not donate some of your boob fat and give it to the rest of us poor unfortunate boobless souls!

[maressa]

Why not donate some of your boob fat and give it to the rest of us poor unfortunate boobless souls!
I'll help you there! I could use a little too! :) LOL

[SummerRogue]

Lol I would if i could :)

[Rivertee]

Know what really grinds my gears? BAD *EFFING* WRITERS! One of my favorite shows is really going downhill and worst of all the entire fandom is split down the middle all because of "ships". What's worse is that the writers seem to be fan pandering rather than focusing on a good story, or the original story they had planned. So now this show which I loved so much is basically crap and im sick of arguing with other fans about fictional characters. Like I am so done.
For those who don't know, "ships" is a term for couples in a relationship, like Harry/Hermione or Bella/Edward, etc.


Oh don't get me started on shippers! I couldn't agree more with this! Let the story go on as it should and leave the whining fandoms out of it! I'm perfectly ok with people having opinions or guestimates about who should be with who, but for writers to actually listen to that is ridiculous!

Mind if I ask which show?

[Blaze]

As for the boyfriend, tell him it's as horrible and hurtful as if you asked him to get a penis enlargement, and how would he feel about himself if you asked him to do that? Drunk or not, that was an awful thing to say to you, because clearly you're awesome, small boobs and all. :)

I second the above. But I'd add a swift nut punch while saying it. Grr.

[Mermaid Kelda]

I love new members. I love old questions less. :rolleyes:

[PearlieMae]

I love new members. I love old questions less. :rolleyes:

I know, right??? SEARCH FUNCTION - LEARN IT, LOVE IT, USE IT!!!!

[deepblue]

I know, right??? SEARCH FUNCTION - LEARN IT, LOVE IT, USE IT!!!!

And read the introduction email Iona sends to all new members... read it twice!! And remember that the forum has sections for a REASON. This is not unique to here, this is general forum protocol.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

And read the introduction email Iona sends to all new members... read it twice!! And remember that the forum has sections for a REASON. This is not unique to here, this is general forum protocol.

I bookmarked all the links in that email so hopefully I wouldn't be THAT annoying new Mer.

[Shourn]

Just look out for 'death at a funeral' which was remade as 'death at a funeral' but completely different cast. Or the magic roundabout which had the same story but completely different voices; and often wording...

[PearlieMae]

HELP!

Okay, so I was freaked out. Normally, I sleep like the dead. Seriously. But last night, 3:30 am, I awoke with a huge, burning, aching, spasm in the heel of my left foot. Not the heel, exactly, but if your foot was standing on a clock, the pain was about an inch up from 7. I mean screaming, panicked, breathtaking, and nauseating pain! Like someone was driving a searing, hot nail into my foot. I massaged it, I walked around (in case it was a cramp), I stretched, everything I could think of! It eventually calmed down into a cycle of three seconds of searing pain, then five seconds of diminishing, then escalating pain! WHAT THE FUCK??? I took some Aleve (naproxen) and waited for it to take effect, and I eventually went back to sleep, but now I'm afraid it will happen again tonight! (I thought I posted a longer version of this, but evidently, my phone killed it).

[deepblue]

Yikes- wonder if that was a spasm from recent swims in the new tail. Swimming more than usual? Different weight? Either way, I hope it never happens again.

[Meronica]

It sounds like a cramp. I wouldn't worry unless it starts becoming a regular thing. Maybe soak your feet in a hot bath with some epsom salt at night?

[MarkF]

The sulfur in wine can cause that.

[PearlieMae]

Haven't had wine in months. A friend may have sussed it out...

24820

This looks the most likely suspect.

[deepblue]

Another friend of mine has died. After a very long illness.

And I am REALLY getting sick of losing so many people to death. Not one was over 55, most were in their late 30s.

At the moment, I've lost count of how many friend have died in the past couple years. And this one, my dear friend Tim, was only 55. His words are inked around my ankle. He knew my daughter. He was entirely supportive of my mermaid passion, my writing, and I miss him terribly. He thought we were pretty damn cool and hadn't heard of mermaiding before knowing me.

I just don't feel like I can find an even keel again. Between this and my daughter's worsening medical situation, which thank goodness will be attended to soon, I'm just... ugh.

[Azurin Luna]

I'm very sorry to hear that :(

*merhuggles* Stay strong, I hope everything will be better soon

[Merman Jamie]

I am very sorry to hear that you have lost many friends. My heart goes out to you.

Do not loose hope and stay strong. I Hope things get better soon.

Many hugs.

[Rivertee]

There's just too mch to even vent it out, I need some mer hugs

[PearlieMae]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::mermaid kiss:

[Amphitrite]

Seriously, if you're going to waste my time attacking my religious convictions I'm going to delete every comment you made. It hurts my feelings and is extremely upsetting. And I wish I had just a little more control to explain to you in a nice, polite way what you are portraying but I don't.

[Rivertee]

Thanks Pearlie. @Amph- :hug: those who are ignorant of others will be ignored by all who are loving. Stay strong in your beliefs and your happiness will be a grand reward. :) We love you!

[Amphitrite]

Thank-you! :hug: Just exactly what I needed to hear right now. :)

[Rivertee]

Anytime, trust me when I say we're all a little bit "out of water" in ourselves. Everyone is different, it's what makes the land ocean so unique.

[deepblue]

Hugs for Kaguria!

You mers are the only people who get virtual hugs from me, I'll have you know. :p

Amphi- hugs for you, too, if you want them. It isn't difficult for people to just respect the beleifs/feelings/etc of others, and if someone chooses not to, they deserve to have their comments deleted. :)

Oh and.
This just happened:
I'm in the grocery store, and some shirtless surfer dude (normally I would not mind a fit surfer guy appraoching to ask a question!) walks up and asks where I got my chest tattoo. I tell him where and that the studio is a few blocks away. I walk on. He asks "Have I seen you before?" and I said, "I don't know, it's possible." AND THEN he says, "So, yeah, what're you doin'?" Seriously? I'm in a grocery store, with a basket in hand, and FOOD IN BASKET, you dangerously unaware dolt... and here is where I realize, "Oh carp. Dude's hitting on me." So I tell him, Im shopping for my family. He starts following, and says, "Hey maybe you can help me, I'm trying to buy healthy food..." I tell him, "You're in the wrong place, you want soandso. DOWN THE STREET. You want to GO THERE." And he still follows asking about my tattoos, and I say "I can't help you out, my boyfriend's watching my daughter, so I need to get this done." And he fecking says, "He'll have to do that again, your boyfriend can watch your daughter, when you and I hang out."

SO at this point, I turn and walk the other way. What an asshat!! And his eyes looked like every blood vessel had ruptured. WTF is with guys who can't take a feckin' hint!?

But I have to admit... I have grown as a person, because I didn't go Bride of Chucky on him. I resolved to default to "GO AWAY" if he approached again, but I saw him hitting on some other poor gal soon thereafter.

I hate hate hate that a gal can't go to a feckin' grocery store without some asshat imposing himself into her day. GAH!

[Rivertee]

:Hugs: for.you blue. Well first off.congrats on being smoking hot lol, second you are far nicer than I seriously he'd wished a tail slapped him if.it were myself so super mer.kudos

[deepblue]

ha, I'd love to believe it's because I'm smokin' hot or such, but I think I must emit the 'hit on me' pheromone. Lucky for me, it also gave my bf, who is normally rather shy, the guts to approach me just over a year ago.

But- it also pisses me off that the main reason I was being civil is because I was going to have to walk home alone, and even in broad daylight, I worry that telling them to fuck off will result in their ego needing to do something I won't be able to defend myself against. Which isn't what I think men's default is, it's just the reality, I'm a rather petite person and even with self-defense classes in my past, I am always on guard. Bah.

[Genevieve]

I hate that it's so hard for me to find female friends, or friends in real life. It's just practically impossible.

I feel ya, girl. Other people make it look so easy, but I try to meet people and just get weird looks all the time. I promise, I'm perfectly nice.

Also, probably getting dumped. Sucksville. All my friends are married. I feel too old for being completely unsuccessful in relationships of any kind, but not for being a mermaid. You don't have to outgrow your dreams.

[Rivertee]

You're never to old to make new friends : ) just depends on wjere ya go

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I feel ya, girl. Other people make it look so easy, but I try to meet people and just get weird looks all the time. I promise, I'm perfectly nice.

Also, probably getting dumped. Sucksville. All my friends are married. I feel too old for being completely unsuccessful in relationships of any kind, but not for being a mermaid. You don't have to outgrow your dreams.

As someone who is married, and watching all my friends get divorced, I can tell you that 1) you're not too old to be unsuccessful in relationships - there's literally no age limit for getting it right, and 2) being patient (as much as it REALLY sucks) is TOTALLY worth it! Marriage is not something to feel rushed into because of age, or social pressure. It's what you do when you meet a life partner, someone who you know is always on your side, and together you're both better and more powerful than either of you are apart. Until you meet that person, enjoy your life and try your best to learn how to be a happy person with or without a relationship. And hugs to you. Also, you're a freaking mermaid! You get all the awesome points already!

[deepblue]

As someone who is married, and watching all my friends get divorced, I can tell you that 1) you're not too old to be unsuccessful in relationships - there's literally no age limit for getting it right, and 2) being patient (as much as it REALLY sucks) is TOTALLY worth it!

I can attest to this! I didn't meet the *right* person until a little over a year ago. I went through so many awful relationships for so long, and then took years off before dating again, and out of the blue, I met my amazing boyfriend. Took me til I was 43. Totally worth the wait. And I didn't have my daughter til I was 39, when I also thought it was too late. Often, you never know.

[Rivertee]

Echoing these enchanting stories, I got out of a 7year relationship and 2 years later after giving up on love and getting life back together, I met my husband in the most unlikely way.
Fate has a hand for all of us, we're just delt the winning one when we're ready.

Cheesy I know butbI believe it.

[Genevieve]

An uplifting reminder, Kaguria. Read a folktale with the moral that only when you stop looking for what you want do you find it. From a book aptly titled: Wisdomkeepers.

[Rivertee]

:) I just liketo remember the little things in life :)

[Mermaid Melanie]

So I'm pretty pissed off to put it lightly. As some of you know Ive had issues with another mer (mermaid kat) who has repeatedly tried to put me down. Well she had moved on to another country and I was quite happy to have peace from her and her antics... not quite. Last week I was working at a hotel doing some mermaid / underwater modelling sessions with customers and it was such a nice day ! After the sessions I was taking my tails back to the truck and a Thai man ran over to me and asked "madame, madame, sorry to bother you but are you a mermaid ?" I said "yes, actually I am" to which he replied ( and I always get this in Phuket ) "Do you know katrin felton?" I told him yes I knew her and smiled and he said oh thats very strange - "I was in contact with her last week and asked her if she or any other mermaids were available to shoot a conservation documentary, and she told me there were no more mermaids in Thailand." This is so typical Kat and honestly I'm so done with this chick, sharing everyones pages to make herself look like she's nice and cares when really she's just hungry for attention .... if she can't do it no one else can type thing, doesn't matter that it was a conservation effort...if she can't get publicity out of it and someone else might she's not interested ... or rather she's more interested in making sure that it doesn't even happen. There are other mermaids in Thailand, not just me ! One is even quite friendly with Kat ! like WTF we live in different countries ! Sometimes I think Kat expects all the mermaid jobs in the world to go to her, like people should fly her around the globe to be a mermaid.... and no one else should do it bar her. Well in the end it was lucky I met the man and hopefully there could be some awesome projects coming from it...just wish Kat could be a nice genuine person for a change...like honestly even after all the crap ... if she would genuinely apologise for all of it... id be happy to forgive her but I don't see that happening any day soon.

[AniaR]

I've had issues with melissa pulling that crap acting like she can work inCanada. Meanwhile linden and I throw stuff to each other and my mers who work directly for me are still permitted to work directly for themselves too ( though they pay me a very small booking fee to cover insurance as I front it)

[Mermaid Melanie]

like thats how it should be helping each other out, networking etc Ive given jobs to other mers here and it wasn't for my own benefit, just so they could have the opportunity and the job would still happen etc I mean I don't expect her to put work my way given the bad feeling between us but to state that there no more mermaiding here and its not even an option is just so frustrating. Hopefully it all pans out alright - Ill just need to start doing a bit more local promotion to get the word out I guess !

[Mermaid Kelda]

If you, and others, do well at promoting yourself, and she keeps saying things like that, she'll just make herself look pathetic and silly.

[Amphitrite]

Thank-you Deepblue! :) Annnd I used to feel that way all the time. I just wandered in a crowded area and always carried pepper spray (but always with it in my purse. I also at times carried my keys with my fist around one of them to tell weirdos to stay a respectful distance away.) I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I also hope that you do not have those problems in the future. *hugs*

[Adalira]

I have been thinking about posting in here for a while now and each time backed out of it.
Anyone know that feeling where you realize you are 31 (or any other age) and you are not where you were hoping to be at that time?
That moment you realize that you are not doing what you would want and life is just not going the way you had planned and hoped?
In a way i am lucky, i met the man of my dreams a few years ago, he lived in America but left everything behind to be with me and we are living together.
That is the one thing in my life that i am happy about.
I am still working at shows with my family that are so stressful that i have been sick about 10 times now this year, one of the times i was sick for over a month!
The verbal fights back stage, the drama.....i know i need to leave the shows for my own health but so many things are tied up with this that it pisses me off that i am so helpless!
Last week we had 3 shows to do and the drama and the verbal fighting came to a boiling point and it exploded where my brother and dad started to get into a huge verbal fight together.
The few friends that really know the situation are all supporting me and telling me i need to quit the shows and start doing what i want to do.
My family is not supportive of me mermaiding thing and have never been unfortunatly. Nor are they supportive of anything else i do except work with them.
The financial situation of me and my boyfriend has made it tough for us.
We live in a house that my family owns and they have put it for sale. Where will we go now? We have no idea. We can not find a house that is suitable for us.
Since we have our business we will need a house that is around 150m2 and preferrably free of charge LOL.
Most of our money and the money we make is being put back into the business and our business has grown a lot since then but i also know that the changes of us getting a morgage or a loan from the bank are slim to none since we do not have a steady income due to the fact that we are business owners.
I finally got the courage to order sequins from America to work on my mermaid tails and maybe even try get work as a mermaid again, follow my heart and my dream......then the sequins arrived and they were all tiny compared to the ones i had. I had no idea they were going to be that small! I have no idea what to do with them right now.
At the moment i am working on practicing my harp and vocals to maybe get some performances that way but honestly i have no idea if i am even good enough for that.....
And it scares the sh*t out of me having to tell my family i no longer want to be in the shows with them.
It seriously upsets me that even though i am 31 i still feel like a little kid who is not allowed to speak up for herself!
And what also pisses me off is that life is so freakin' hard and not going at all how i hoped it would.
It seems that no matter how hard i work, i get nowhere.
GRRRRR!
Oh to top it off i saw a job opening somewhere that i would like to get, for the reasons that the job looks so great to do and to make the extra money we need for the move to another house that will come our way soon. But it is 45 minutes from where we live, the chances of me getting the job are very very slim (maybe 10% chance) and if i would be so lucky to actually get it there are so many things to consider!
My boyfriend has his permit to stay in the Netherlands with me and work here as a business owner if the business makes a certain amount a year. In september 2015 they will review his stay in the Netherlands, meaning the business will have to be running well. If i go and take a job somewhere else it means i can't work in the business as much anymore, meaning business will go down meaning i jeapordize his stay :-(
If you think this is a lot to b*tch about....all of this is just the tip of the iceberg!
I apologize if it all sounds like a lot of rambling and makes no sense to any of you.....i really needed to get it of my chest!

[SeaGlass Siren]

It sounds like midlife crisis. All I can offer you right now is emotional support :hugs: do you wanna talk some more about it?

[PearlieMae]

That is a lot of pressure on you, especially the family/family business part! But if it's causing that much stress that it's making you physically ill, you have to extract yourself from the toxic situation.

Is renting a house an option?

I know it feels like you are up against the wall, but I'm sure that once you assert your independence, things will start getting better. It might be hard at first, but you'll only get stronger!

31 is young! You're only a year older than my daughter. You're going to be great! Just keep pushing forward and try not to let worry win! :hug:

[Adalira]

Thank you for the hug and your kind words SeaGlass Siren and PearlieMae.....you brought tears to my eyes....
Midlife crisis? Ugh..... I hope not....but you may be right.
I have been feeling like this for years though. A feeling of me putting my life on hold for others all time and it feels like life is slipping through my fingers without me having done any of the things i want to do.
We did look into renting a place but this is the Netherlands....meaning prices are INSANE for both buying and renting.
My parents said we can build a house on their land if we want so we are looking into that but we are not sure we can afford that either.
Plus do i really want to live next to my parents? With all the stress that has been going on qith them at the shows and privatly and the drama it seems like a bad idea but it may be our only option if it is the cheapest option.
We are also looking into houses in Germany since houses are cheaper there (or at least they were) and there is the option of leaving everything behind and moving to America.
We have talked about that option as well.
So much is unsure right now.
I have not had a holiday in over 3 years and have only been working working working.
If all that hard work still does not mean we can have some sort of independece i am seriously going to be pissed off.:mad:
I did try to pick myself up today and i contacted a store about their industrial zippers for my sequins mermaid tail and hope they have something that will work.
I refuse to simply give up but there are days where i just want to lay in bed, eat chocolate and cookies, watch movies and pretend that the rest of the world does not exist.....oh the good days lol
By the way, the job opening i found is at a zoo :swoon:
I have also been looking into getting some extra education but then again...i would invest a lot of money and time into a study and chances of getting a job these days in the Netherlands are slim to none. Even if you have all the right educations and experience it is so hard to get a job or side job anywhere.
Talking like this makes me think the following:" Let me get my violin out" lol :violin:

[SeaGlass Siren]

i was told that people can have multiple career changes in life and that's completely normal. one man from my old job used to have 9 different career paths and now he's 60ish. if it's an option, why not move to canada or america?

[PearlieMae]

No holiday in over three years? That's not midlife crisis, that's burnout!

Can you resell your sequins and get bigger ones?

[MarkF]

Adalira, this is the Dad in me speaking- being a member of a troop can be a tedious life at times and most people when the days done get to go home, you really can’t. Your situation sounds limited, difficult and tedious. The solution may take you out of your comfort zone. It’s time.
You have trained your whole life to overcome being intimidated in front of an audience, something most people can’t do. Being able to present yourself as someone else and remember scripts, Geez!
You and your husband are at the most desirable age for employers.
I’ve got some experience in this field, Sarah I want you to do a job search for “sales marketing”, ok? With so many towns and Belgium and Germany just a stone’s throw away, this may be perfect for you. Maybe look for things related to theater or related at first. The more specialized can be higher pay. You are exactly what they want. It will take a few tries, don’t be afraid the audience’s expressions are the same it’s just they pay a whole lot more. The longer you are working the same audience the more you’ll get!
If your speaking English is close to your writing the big companies will want you. Getting a house, vacation in France all awaits you. If you think you aren't qualified, your wrong. Like acting it’s a matter of getting a chance to prove to yourself and your audience.
You’ve got the skills now you need opportunity and persistence.
Good luck.

P.S. in the US the term is Sales Representative.

[PearlieMae]

^ THIS

:clap:

[deepblue]

Mark has the right idea!
And 31 isn't really mid-life, esp not in our modern era. I think you just realized that what you're doing, or the way you're doing it, is not what you want to do and it is time for a change. It will take a lot of courage, but when you look back you're not going to regret trying. You probably will, however, regret not trying.

[SeaMansa]

So today in the lunchroom, the custodian woman is cleaning the floor around me as I am getting up to leave. As I get up, some random paper of whatever falls out of my jacket pocket as I was walking away. Keep in mind, I didn't even notice it to pick it up. This woman flips out! She starts callin me all kinds of disrespectful this and that, and im just like.... I didn't mean to drop anything on the floor and if I were to even notice it, I would have picked it up and put it in the trash... All she had to do was say Hey, you! You dropped this trash pick it up and I would have done it. Instead, she calls the campus security and starts all this unnecessary whining, talking about she will tell the dean and im just like -.- Like come on, I get why she would be upset but all that is really uncalled for especially after I pick up what I dropped, throw it away, and APOLOGIZED before the whole ordeal even started! Like I swear, I was two seconds away from going "And so what if I dropped it? You're sweeping anyway, its ur friggin job and your getting mad!" but the gentlemen in me knows that is wrong. I swear, some people....

[deepblue]

I just need to briefly headdesk this out.

Was told my daughter's first surgery was Nov 5.
The surgeon's assistant left me a voicemail referring to it as Dec 5.
I really really NEED this to be a mistake, so I've of course called her and, of course, had to leave a voicemail.

My daughter is already so scared and nervous, I cannot make her wait. Besides that, we usually walk everywhere, but in a short time, she's gotten to this point that she can't even walk a block without serious leg fatigue. This has to happen NOW. Or ... on Nov 5.

Fingers crossed that they are not actually making us wait another month. No no no no.

GAH!!


Thank-you Deepblue! http://mernetwork.com/index/images/smilies/smile.png Annnd I used to feel that way all the time. I just wandered in a crowded area and always carried pepper spray (but always with it in my purse. I also at times carried my keys with my fist around one of them to tell weirdos to stay a respectful distance away.) I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I also hope that you do not have those problems in the future. *hugs*

Thanks! I admit some of it is my PTSD rearing its ugly head- even though I have never been attacked in public or the like, thank goodness. I had a better handle on things when I was still uber dissociative! lol Well.. heh, not really, but it felt like it. haha

You know... I was thinking about the idea that someone commented as you'd mentioned, and it reminds me of people who I find really annoying... if they don't like or maybe even respect a belief or feeling, they COULD still respect the person. Doing so makes the world a better place, so unless you're hurting someone, why can't these egotistical jerks just be cool about it? Geesh. One of my best friends is a self-described Jesus freak. We have NO beliefs/spiritual stuff in common, but we're close because we respect each other. It's really not hard, people!

[Adalira]

Adalira, this is the Dad in me speaking- being a member of a troop can be a tedious life at times and most people when the days done get to go home, you really can’t. Your situation sounds limited, difficult and tedious. The solution may take you out of your comfort zone. It’s time.
You have trained your whole life to overcome being intimidated in front of an audience, something most people can’t do. Being able to present yourself as someone else and remember scripts, Geez!
You and your husband are at the most desirable age for employers.
I’ve got some experience in this field, Sarah I want you to do a job search for “sales marketing”, ok? With so many towns and Belgium and Germany just a stone’s throw away, this may be perfect for you. Maybe look for things related to theater or related at first. The more specialized can be higher pay. You are exactly what they want. It will take a few tries, don’t be afraid the audience’s expressions are the same it’s just they pay a whole lot more. The longer you are working the same audience the more you’ll get!
If your speaking English is close to your writing the big companies will want you. Getting a house, vacation in France all awaits you. If you think you aren't qualified, your wrong. Like acting it’s a matter of getting a chance to prove to yourself and your audience.
You’ve got the skills now you need opportunity and persistence.
Good luck.

P.S. in the US the term is Sales Representative.

Thank you so much for your explanation and words of support. It is so much appreciated!
I am sorry to say though that the job market in Holland is more than awful.
You need a degree for everything.
Even something as simple as wanting to be a waiter.....you need a degree from a Hotel/Restarant/Cafe education and at least several years experience.
This is a real problem over here right now. I have been looking for part time and full time jobs on all the websites for job openings and all the jobs are either for welders, computer technicians or anything from working in a store to anything else and it all requires a high degree from school.
I quit school after i graduated from highschool cause i was bullied so much in highschool. The thought of having to study more and go back to school was something i could not bare to think of.
After highschool i immediatly started at the shows of my family and after some years i started my own small shop.
So the degrees that are needed these days are something i do not have.
I got 1 job interview 2 years ago for a job that would entail promoting a events place for which you needed no education and the job was simply to hand out flyers.
After 1 minute i was outside again.....the woman took 1 look at my list of upcoming shows for the season and she dismissed me.
That has been the only job interview.
I just checked the Sales & Marketing jobs in Holland and all of them require a very high college education.
The few that don't are the ones that offer an intern ship, meaning unpaid position and it is only temporary.
Holland is very very difficult in terms of being able to find a job.
If you don;t have the degrees they wont even talk to you.

[Adalira]

I just need to briefly headdesk this out.

Was told my daughter's first surgery was Nov 5.
The surgeon's assistant left me a voicemail referring to it as Dec 5.
I really really NEED this to be a mistake, so I've of course called her and, of course, had to leave a voicemail.

My daughter is already so scared and nervous, I cannot make her wait. Besides that, we usually walk everywhere, but in a short time, she's gotten to this point that she can't even walk a block without serious leg fatigue. This has to happen NOW. Or ... on Nov 5.

Fingers crossed that they are not actually making us wait another month. No no no no.

GAH!!



Thanks! I admit some of it is my PTSD rearing its ugly head- even though I have never been attacked in public or the like, thank goodness. I had a better handle on things when I was still uber dissociative! lol Well.. heh, not really, but it felt like it. haha

You know... I was thinking about the idea that someone commented as you'd mentioned, and it reminds me of people who I find really annoying... if they don't like or maybe even respect a belief or feeling, they COULD still respect the person. Doing so makes the world a better place, so unless you're hurting someone, why can't these egotistical jerks just be cool about it? Geesh. One of my best friends is a self-described Jesus freak. We have NO beliefs/spiritual stuff in common, but we're close because we respect each other. It's really not hard, people!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Deepblue! Nothing is more horrible then having to wait even longer for something so stressfull! I really hope they made a misstake!

[Adalira]

No holiday in over three years? That's not midlife crisis, that's burnout!

Can you resell your sequins and get bigger ones?

I will try and use the small ones, i don't even know if the bigger ones are for sale anywhere anymore. I bought mine years ago and te store that had them stopped selling them all of a sudden.
Thank you for the link of the E6000 glue by the way! It is much appreciated!

I had a feeling of having a burn out already years ago and nothing has changed since then. I fear that is exactly why my body is in such bad shape.
A few years ago the stress got so bad that i got Menieres disease.
Most people don;t know it so here is a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%A9ni%C3%A8re's_disease
When it started a few years ago i was still mermaiding for fun but when i had my first Meniere attack and was at the doctors office he told me not to swim for the time being because if i would be under water and got an attack that could be potentially dangerous.
Since than the attacks got worse and more frequent and spent hours in bed waiting for an attack to be over.
The last time i swam as a mermaid must have been when my boyfriend came to Holland and i took him swimming. So that is almost 3 years ago i believe.
This year i have had less attacks so it is getting slightly better for the time being.

[deepblue]

Oh wow- I've heard Kristin Chenoweth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristin_Chenoweth) talk about Menieres, and how it impacts her life, otherwise I doubt I'd know what it is. That is one heck of a card to be handed. I can understand why swimming needs to be approached differently for you.

And thanks- the doc got back to me and it WAS a mistake! And yeah I could have waited before venting here, but I rather feel like I needed to or I'd have a small breakdown. A lot of stress lately... but getting better by the day, phew.

[Adalira]

Oh wow- I've heard Kristin Chenoweth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristin_Chenoweth) talk about Menieres, and how it impacts her life, otherwise I doubt I'd know what it is. That is one heck of a card to be handed. I can understand why swimming needs to be approached differently for you.

And thanks- the doc got back to me and it WAS a mistake! And yeah I could have waited before venting here, but I rather feel like I needed to or I'd have a small breakdown. A lot of stress lately... but getting better by the day, phew.

That is great news! I'm so happy to hear it was a misstake!

Why apologize for venting? Isn't that why the thread was created? You owe it to the creation of this thread to vent ;)

[deepblue]

lol you are correct!

[Mermaid Jaffa]

I was told you don't have career changes. You stick with whatever you started with until you either die or retire. And that nobody in my age group ever goes to get new training or education in another industry and that nobody wants to hire an old maid.

[Azurin Luna]

Thank you so much for your explanation and words of support. It is so much appreciated!
I am sorry to say though that the job market in Holland is more than awful.
You need a degree for everything.
Even something as simple as wanting to be a waiter.....you need a degree from a Hotel/Restarant/Cafe education and at least several years experience.
This is a real problem over here right now. I have been looking for part time and full time jobs on all the websites for job openings and all the jobs are either for welders, computer technicians or anything from working in a store to anything else and it all requires a high degree from school.
I quit school after i graduated from highschool cause i was bullied so much in highschool. The thought of having to study more and go back to school was something i could not bare to think of.
After highschool i immediatly started at the shows of my family and after some years i started my own small shop.
So the degrees that are needed these days are something i do not have.
I got 1 job interview 2 years ago for a job that would entail promoting a events place for which you needed no education and the job was simply to hand out flyers.
After 1 minute i was outside again.....the woman took 1 look at my list of upcoming shows for the season and she dismissed me.
That has been the only job interview.
I just checked the Sales & Marketing jobs in Holland and all of them require a very high college education.
The few that don't are the ones that offer an intern ship, meaning unpaid position and it is only temporary.
Holland is very very difficult in terms of being able to find a job.
If you don;t have the degrees they wont even talk to you.

I agree to that totally, you need a degree and at least several years of experience. I've been in the boat were I was jobless for a few months because Dosign Engineering failed to find me a new job on time as they knew my other one was coming to an end. I was lucky when I placed my CV on UWV that someone else who was mediating for different companies to find new personnel picked me out of the pool and I had a new job within a week. This was a few years back though.
Now my husband wants to change from one school to another school to work as a Biology teacher, but for him it's even harder. Schools have to do more with less, but they aren't seeing that they are destroying the lives of the teachers by overloading them with to much work and to many kinds in the classes. It's not only the schools fault though, also our government has a hand or two in this.

I hope you find something soon to your liking so that you can live your own life again. You could try to put your profile on Linkedin.nl. I got serveral job offers there as well even when I have a job already, and a lot of people who need new employees look on the site.

*fingers crossed* Good luck :)

[Adalira]

I agree to that totally, you need a degree and at least several years of experience. I've been in the boat were I was jobless for a few months because Dosign Engineering failed to find me a new job on time as they knew my other one was coming to an end. I was lucky when I placed my CV on UWV that someone else who was mediating for different companies to find new personnel picked me out of the pool and I had a new job within a week. This was a few years back though.
Now my husband wants to change from one school to another school to work as a Biology teacher, but for him it's even harder. Schools have to do more with less, but they aren't seeing that they are destroying the lives of the teachers by overloading them with to much work and to many kinds in the classes. It's not only the schools fault though, also our government has a hand or two in this.

I hope you find something soon to your liking so that you can live your own life again. You could try to put your profile on Linkedin.nl. I got serveral job offers there as well even when I have a job already, and a lot of people who need new employees look on the site.

*fingers crossed* Good luck :)

I could not agree with you more.
The Dutch system is really bad for people seeking jobs and the government is making things so hard!
Good luck to your husband! I will keep my fingers crossed for him for an easy transition to a new place.
LinkedIn is something i have not tried yet so that could be a very good idea. Thank you :-)

[Meronica]

Not to start drama (as I can't be sure who browses these forums), but Mertailor is really dragging their feet with my tail and I'm really starting to regret ordering from them. :/

I was so excited to receive it but now that they keep pushing the ship date back, it's turning into too much of a headache.

[Merman Arion]

Not to start drama (as I can't be sure who browses these forums), but Mertailor is really dragging their feet with my tail and I'm really starting to regret ordering from them. :/

I was so excited to receive it but now that they keep pushing the ship date back, it's turning into too much of a headache.

Usually, that's not a good sign.
What kind of tail did you order from him?


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk

[Meronica]

Usually, that's not a good sign.
What kind of tail did you order from him?


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk
I know. :/ It seems like whenever he decides to randomly take forever on certain people's orders, they end up having other issues in construction, and since it's obvious that they have yet to even start on my tail, I wish I could just get my money back and order from someone else.

I ordered a silicone-neoprene as my first commercial tail.

[-Annwyn-]

I know. :/ It seems like whenever he decides to randomly take forever on certain people's orders, they end up having other issues in construction, and since it's obvious that they have yet to even start on my tail, I wish I could just get my money back and order from someone else.

I ordered a silicone-neoprene as my first commercial tail.

How long have you been waiting since you ordered? I know there is a 90 day waiting list before he even gets started on tails. Have you tried to contact him?

[Meronica]

How long have you been waiting since you ordered? I know there is a 90 day waiting list before he even gets started on tails. Have you tried to contact him?
I have been contacting them periodically for updates and given vague responses, which was fine but the website gives a production time estimate of 5-10 weeks, and today they told me that it should be ready by mid-November, which will be around 11-12 weeks from the order date.

Maybe it's just because I'm a bit strict with deadlines in my personal life, but I'm a little annoyed that they can find time to update their Facebook page a few times a day and continue to actively seek new orders without getting their current ones out on time.

[-Annwyn-]

I have been contacting them periodically for updates and given vague responses, which was fine but the website gives a production time estimate of 5-10 weeks, and today they told me that it should be ready by mid-November, which will be around 11-12 weeks from the order date.

Maybe it's just because I'm a bit strict with deadlines in my personal life, but I'm a little annoyed that they can find time to update their Facebook page a few times a day and continue to actively seek new orders without getting their current ones out on time.


I understand your frustration, however 12 weeks is typically the waiting time -like I said before- BEFORE they get to work on your tail. At least, for full silicone it is (I know, I have one!) A receiving date of mid November sounds about like you've waited the usual time.

It's not unusual for companies to update on social media several time a day. It's good marketing, generates interest and let's their customer base know that they are active. To be fair it only takes a few seconds to snap a photo and upload it so they are probably working their butts off in actual fact. There's nothing wrong with that.


I am I certain that your tail will be wonderful when you get it!

[Merman Arion]

Personally, if they didn't even start on your tail at this time, I would ask a refund. Especially if all I was getting was vagues responses, clichés excuses and all.. I'm just saying. If the tail isn't even started, you should be able to get your money back since nothing has been spent for it yet.


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk

[MarkF]

I'd check and see how long the other mertaylors are taking before pulling your order if your next in line. If she's made them in the past and proven they can make tails to your expectations. She may just be going slow, maybe shes just burned out and needs a break.
Another Mertaylor, another 4 months.

[deepblue]

I am tired so effing tired of giving a damn about so much. I wish I could change it and grow a callous over my heart.

[Mermaid Muir]

I am tired so effing tired of giving a damn about so much. I wish I could change it and grow a callous over my heart.

I'm sorry. (hug)

[SeaMansa]

So its early in the morning and I am already fuming. See, my mother and I were planning a trip to this really cool place to take my sister trick or treating for Halloween. Now all of a sudden she tells me this morning that instead, my aunt (who is my age, 20) is going to have her "male friend" drive us to the place and me and my sister, who is 6 btw, will just go with them and im like hold the hell on:
1.) First of all I am NOT interested in being the third wheel to someones date.
2.) My aunt is literally one of the most horrid people you could meet. Especially toward my sister. She once pulled her face underneath the water in pool when my sister was THREE with my sister yelling and screaming for her to stop. She ran inside the house when a friggin pitbull ran in the yard and locked the door, leaving my sister outside with the dog. And she has said on multiple occasions that since my sister is not her child, its not her job to protect her or look out for her. The only reason she wants to take my sister with her is so she can look like a saint with the idiot guy who is taking her.
3.) I had other plans I decided to not go through with to be with my family on this day. I can easily NOT go with them but I refuse to allow my sister to be alone with my idiot aunt. So I am going to suggest to my mother that my sister come with me and my friends to this other place we are going to have a ton of Halloween fun which is appropriate for my sister, but I know my mother will say no because believe it or not, she sees me as the irresponsible one. Has much as I have done for my sister, as much as I have protected her and looked out for her, and how overprotective I am of her, she sees her sister, my aunt, as the responsible one. And that fucking grinds my gears because my whole fucking life its like I have been living in her shadow when I have always been nicer, kinder, more polite, gotten better grades, and just all around a better person than her who has always been the inappropriate and rude sort of person who disrecpects her parents and everyone else. But suddnelyy she is queen saint of the world and I am friggin hades..

It is too fucking early for this shit. I have way too much on my mind and way too much on my plate and I honestly cannot with this right now. I refuse to hand my sister over that imbecile and her idiot date. Sorry If I am the one coming off as rude, but you guys really have no idea how much this is effecting me.

[PearlieMae]

Grrrrr!

Well, I hope you can rise above all this annoyance and make Halloween the best it can be for your sister, despite the obstacles you have to overcome. Good luck!

[MarkF]

Firstly I think you and your sister are adopted, explains everything. Why involve your aunt at all your 20, time to start exerting yourself.
You could be respectful to Mom and at the same time pass on the aunt thing. If you don't have a car arrange with your friends and tell them what's going on for the support. This would work better if Mom knows one of them. Have them tell your Mom there's no room for the Aunt and her Boy friend!
Have you considered Mermaid Cinderella?

[SeaMansa]

Its not about me making other plans to do other things, that's simple. The issue is that I will not have my sister go anywhere with her alone. If I go out with friends, I am sure my mother wouldn't allow me to take my sister with me, but she woud allow my aunt to take her. Which is complete and utter crap. I plan to have a nice long talk with her about it.

[MarkF]

My hope was your friends also had simular age kids and together your mom would understand. Good luck.

[Azurin Luna]

Grah! I ordered some cupcake and marshmallow supplies to make halloween cupcakes and when I finished my order I noted them that it was alright to leave it at one of my neighbours. The problem is now that the seller forgot to mention that to the delivery man and now I got a 'not at home' note and I will get my stuff tomorrow after 4pm... It's not like I can just make 210 cupcakes in 8 hours and make the marshmallow toppings too:cry:

[Mermaid Kelda]

You should at least get your shipping costs back! That's not okay! :(

[Mermaid Lilium]

TW: sexual assault

I HATE the fact that I live in a town where I'm left with basically two options if I'm trying to walk home once it's dark (as it's now darker earlier):

- Walk down the sea front, battling crowds the whole 45 min walk, and triggering my social anxiety.
- Walk down the quieter backstreets and stand a very real risk of getting sexually assaulted as too many young women have been dragged down the alleyways and raped.

There are other options but they are just as bas: Trams down the seafront which are packed like sardine cans (social anxiety big no-no) and that's if you manage to get on before they are too full, and then have to battle your way off at your stop or busses which are packed and take even longer than walking because of the dense traffic, and taxis that cost a lot and still get stuck in the same traffic as the busses.

In the end when I was left with this whole dilema I just walked down the promenade (sea front, also known as 'the prom') and tried to dodge my way through the crowds as fast as I could but when you end up with families suddenly stopping infront of you and people almost forcing you to walk on the road etc it wasn't a nice experience to say the least. I only get my anxiety in dense busy crowds, like a bit of claustrophobia. So people suddenly stopping infront or trapping me in or forcing me into dangerous situations is so triggering for me >_<

[MarkF]

Could you afford getting yourself a coffee, tea - beer at one of the hotel restaurants, just avoid the Pleasure Beach park area? I think that would be too stressful when your tired.
I worked for a short time in a downtown with that kind of commuting issue. I'd stop and have a beer at a pub where the people density was the worst. It would allow the stress and anxiety of the day pass while sitting, watching them struggle to get around.

It helps.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Could you afford getting yourself a coffee, tea - beer at one of the hotel restaurants, just avoid the Pleasure Beach park area? I think that would be too stressful when your tired.
I worked for a short time in a downtown with that kind of commuting issue. I'd stop and have a beer at a pub where the people density was the worst. It would allow the stress and anxiety of the day pass while sitting, watching them struggle to get around.

It helps.

I'd picked up a hot choc from Starbucks to drink while I walked (I don't drink alcohol and hate drunk people so bars are a no-go lol), which helped a bit but I live on the same street as the pleasure beach entrance right now X_x So I can't avoid it or the tourists. And the crazy busy crowds and traffic last until about 9pm before they start to ease off before the lights switch off =( So I'd be waiting for far too long sadly.

At least the season ends November 9th X_x which is right when I start my new job in town (Body Shop! :D Maternity Cover until Feb but better than nothing) so not much longer to deal with it. We're living/renting this house til about april so hopefully we'll be outta here before the main season picks up again.

Was just a horrible situation to be in, since the illuminations started I've just avoided town at weekends and got stuff done in the week when the kids are in school, but as it's half term (and scottish half term the two weeks prior) it's been crazy busy during the week too. I only went to pick up a damn parcel from the post office and pay a cheque in at the bank ;_;

[MarkF]

I looked at a map and don't see away to avoid the potential for trouble. Between the Park, Courthouse and all the bars -yep a scary bunch of alleyways when it starts getting dark for a single lady.
I think you've got the right idea. "Time to move!"
Oh! The Mermaid signs are pretty cool though.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

I'd picked up a hot choc from Starbucks to drink while I walked (I don't drink alcohol and hate drunk people so bars are a no-go lol), which helped a bit but I live on the same street as the pleasure beach entrance right now X_x So I can't avoid it or the tourists. And the crazy busy crowds and traffic last until about 9pm before they start to ease off before the lights switch off =( So I'd be waiting for far too long sadly.

At least the season ends November 9th X_x which is right when I start my new job in town (Body Shop! :D Maternity Cover until Feb but better than nothing) so not much longer to deal with it. We're living/renting this house til about april so hopefully we'll be outta here before the main season picks up again.

Was just a horrible situation to be in, since the illuminations started I've just avoided town at weekends and got stuff done in the week when the kids are in school, but as it's half term (and scottish half term the two weeks prior) it's been crazy busy during the week too. I only went to pick up a damn parcel from the post office and pay a cheque in at the bank ;_;

1) Pepper spray, and have it visible. Hopefully it's legal in your area.

2) When I had to use public transportation or walk through dark sketchy areas in Boston on the way home, I basically developed a "don't f*** with me" persona. If you look straight ahead and walk fast, don't try to move around people, they will move around you. Works best if you walk against the flow, so they see you coming. I know it's tough with social anxiety, but with a little practice, it's effective. If you can fake assertiveness, people will get out of your way. Like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2cUtdv99ig

[Mermaid Lilium]

1) Pepper spray, and have it visible. Hopefully it's legal in your area.

2) When I had to use public transportation or walk through dark sketchy areas in Boston on the way home, I basically developed a "don't f*** with me" persona. If you look straight ahead and walk fast, don't try to move around people, they will move around you. Works best if you walk against the flow, so they see you coming. I know it's tough with social anxiety, but with a little practice, it's effective. If you can fake assertiveness, people will get out of your way. Like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2cUtdv99ig

for the most part that's already kinda what I do, I just move with purpose, but it doesn't work well when it's people walking slowly ahead of you who cant see you, families with small kids taking up the whole pavement or drunk people who don't pick up on social cues. And I think pepper spray is illeagal in the UK, I'm not 100% sure though. I do have a personal alarm though - a grenade type one so once I pull the pin it won't shut up til the pin is replaced but I have that at home for in case my dad or paul were to turn up at the house. But yeah.. I could probably keep it in my pocket just in case if I end up in a similar situation. I normally walk the back roads during the day as they're faster and more direct and a bit more sheltered when there's a gale blowing but I'm on my guard and aware of my surroundings/checking reflections even doing that. Really brings to mind the whole yeseverywoman thing.

And yeah Mark I've been meaning to get photos of the mermaid lights, they're outside the hilton at the other end of the prom this year =) I have nickelodeon land lights outside the pleasure beach that I can see from my window (kinda, lol) and then the showgirl ones a little more into town which are really pretty too.
The courthouse bit isn't a big issue as it's directly above the police station so I actually feel pretty safe round there lol.

[Mermaid Lilium]

yeah just checked and pepper spray is illeagal in the uk as it's classed as an offensive weapon. There's this legal alternative called farbgel which is a staining spray to disorientate and mark an attacker but I'm seeing mixed reviews on it online as people are saying it didn't stop their attacker etc. Think I'll have to stick to the hellishly loud personal alarm lol

[Vrindavana Starfish]

yeah just checked and pepper spray is illeagal in the uk as it's classed as an offensive weapon. There's this legal alternative called farbgel which is a staining spray to disorientate and mark an attacker but I'm seeing mixed reviews on it online as people are saying it didn't stop their attacker etc. Think I'll have to stick to the hellishly loud personal alarm lol

Squeeze bottle of lemon juice? Could someone arrest you for carrying groceries? :P
It sucks feeling unsafe.

[CowgirlMermaid]

I'm feeling better, since it's is a little while ago (some things are still there), but I thought maybe you could have a little time to read this and maybe help me.

I feel like I'm just being flatout ingnored by everyone.

Here on Mernetwork, trying to share my entousiams for my tail make-over.
Why is almost every tailmaking thread so poplular execpt for mine?

My Best Friends, who I asked something to check/do and I had to get back to them before they did it...

My teammates on the school project, who can;t seem to see and undertand that I'm really doing my best.
and still feel the need to pull me down by giving feedback like 'needs to take more intiative'
or 'needs to listen to what to do better' while I'm doing exactly what they told me to do.

Having few bad nights sleep, because my boyfriend is really feeling down, because of his sick dad.
It's a roogh time at the moment, and I can't really handle it all at once.

I just feel like crying right now....
I just feel so alone and brought down by everything.

As I said I'm feeling better, still not 100%, but it feels like I can break down the next time something else happens...

[Echidna]

I don't think you're being ignored.
Your tailmaking thread has plenty responses and helpful posts.

Silicone tail threads get usually the most responses, because it's the most popular material.
If your thread has less responses than other threads, it doesn't mean no one cares.

Well, and to the school project...if you are already doing what they tell you to and they still complain, they're just being mean.
Don't take it personally, and try to move on.
School isn't the nicest time in life mostly.

[AniaR]

A lot of the tail making threads are older lol. Been around a while.

[Yulia]

Sooooooo, my mom videocalls me, because my tail just arrived at home (I'm away til tuesday)
and the box is trashed! Two big holes and like three smaller tears, and there's no bubblewrap inside.
CUSTOMS, WHAT THE HELL
IF THE VALUE STATES 450 FREAKING EUROS, COULD YOU PLEASE NOT

The delivery guy reported it for being in such a bad condition, and if somethings broken we have a number to call again... Gah, I'm so pissed right now.


https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t34.0-12/10754839_10152794201588057_2070867346_n.jpg?oh=eca 5bb0c38276631b82b25aec3e16a3b&oe=54559EC9&__gda__=1414886744_6cb69706ba0c124dd70046ef56d5b72 1
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t34.0-12/10744730_10152794201848057_56232040_n.jpg?oh=d062a 16a743ef098ddccd1f50d48baef&oe=54560B93&__gda__=1414894851_5875645fded0771c717915b1e775c53 1
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[Starfrit]

That's absolutely horrifying! Hopefully the tail is okay! D:

[Merman Jamie]

hope tail is ok.

[deepblue]

Holy..! That's horrid. Fingers crossed that your tail came through unscathed. And you have to wait til Tuesday to find out? Oh that sucks.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Squeeze bottle of lemon juice? Could someone arrest you for carrying groceries? :P
It sucks feeling unsafe.
Or hairspray?

[-Annwyn-]

Sooooooo, my mom videocalls me, because my tail just arrived at home (I'm away til tuesday)
and the box is trashed! Two big holes and like three smaller tears, and there's no bubblewrap inside.
CUSTOMS, WHAT THE HELL
IF THE VALUE STATES 450 FREAKING EUROS, COULD YOU PLEASE NOT

The delivery guy reported it for being in such a bad condition, and if somethings broken we have a number to call again... Gah, I'm so pissed right now.


https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t34.0-12/10754839_10152794201588057_2070867346_n.jpg?oh=eca 5bb0c38276631b82b25aec3e16a3b&oe=54559EC9&__gda__=1414886744_6cb69706ba0c124dd70046ef56d5b72 1
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t34.0-12/10744730_10152794201848057_56232040_n.jpg?oh=d062a 16a743ef098ddccd1f50d48baef&oe=54560B93&__gda__=1414894851_5875645fded0771c717915b1e775c53 1
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t34.0-12/10744590_10152794201523057_108406622_n.jpg?oh=41f3 c568c57b690b5a95c14b18ba1f9b&oe=545600F3&__gda__=1414916923_c8b302e08278277a02cfb37b39abd1a 9




f$&k!! D: I hope it's all okay.

[MarkF]

It looks like they cut a little tape to look in and the handlers used the holes as hand holds to carry it.
I would think if it was the Gov they would have taped it closed again. The locations and how makes me think it's fine.
:( Looks to me the box wasn't up to the task.

[Adalira]

I have been sick for over 3 weeks now! GRRRR
I got sick when we shot a videoclip 3 weeks ago and can not seem to snap out of it.
Stress levels are still very high, lot of tension and stress at the shows still and in our daily lives.
That's most likely the reason i can't seem to get better.
Been looking online for natural antibiotics and working on taking those throughout the day, hoping it will help.
For anyone interested in seeing the videoclip....it was released yesterday and i will share a link here.
I am the girl with the tambourine and you may notice i am pretty uncomfortable since this was a project i did not want to do but felt i had to.
Anyway...here is the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvRDrC8lC6s

@Yulia: I hope nothing is damaged! That is a buyers absolute nightmare! When you are excited for a package and wait for it and it arrives opened up and possibly damaged :-(
Hope you will let us know how it turns out!

[MarkF]

Adalira, we need to bring you over here for a week. 24C today and up to 32C by Wednesday. The younger guy beside you looked like he was having fun. Should have put you and he on the bikes, would have been a more fun video. Get better soon.

[Adalira]

Adalira, we need to bring you over here for a week. 24C today and up to 32C by Wednesday. The younger guy beside you looked like he was having fun. Should have put you and he on the bikes, would have been a more fun video. Get better soon.

The guy next to me is my brother. The man on the bike is my dad and the woman on the moped my mom.
I spent some hours in bed with thick clothes on and a hot pad so i would sweat a lot, hoping it helps.
Would love to live somewhere where it is warmer though, i love summers!
What is the lowest temperature you get over there?

[deepblue]

Ha, it's 71f (22c) here and I feel chilly.

We have clouds and gloom for once, hooray!

Wrong thread, ha.

[Mermaid Wesley]

Heeey do you live in SoCal? Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MarkF]

Coldest here is 0c, only at night and only for a few weeks. Daytime is almost always sunny and seldom below 21c.
Have any friends with a hot tub, that's warm. Little wine, ya- :) You'll feel good in no time.

[Adalira]

We are in autumn season which means lots of rain and grey days and cold GRRRRR
Can't wait for it to be summer again!

[deepblue]

We're in Autumn- so glad the heat wave is over, three days ago we were in 80+ degree weather, it sucked. Fire season here goes through October, because it's not exactly unusual. I am in San Diego, on the coast... thank goodness for the marine layer!

Adalira (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?4392-Adalira) , the video was really cute. I understand being sick from stress, though. It does lower the immune response.

[MarkF]

Adalira when you get up the suns is coming out and it'll be warmer! Time for you to get to bed now, have Mermaid adventures in your dreams and enjoy tomorrow.

[Vrindavana Starfish]

We're in Autumn- so glad the heat wave is over, three days ago we were in 80+ degree weather, it sucked. Fire season here goes through October, because it's not exactly unusual. I am in San Diego, on the coast... thank goodness for the marine layer!

Adalira (http://mernetwork.com/index/member.php?4392-Adalira) , the video was really cute. I understand being sick from stress, though. It does lower the immune response.

Lucky. I was so happy when it finally got down to 90°f this past week. I'm in Arizona. We're just now getting out of Hell and into summer. Autumn will start around December, maybe.

[PearlieMae]

I'm so jealous! We never got a summer to speak of this year in New Jersey! I love the heat, and we just didn't get it. :(

[Vrindavana Starfish]

You can have it. Although, I DO NOT miss the snow. I used to live in Boston.

[Yulia]

It looks like they cut a little tape to look in and the handlers used the holes as hand holds to carry it.
I would think if it was the Gov they would have taped it closed again. The locations and how makes me think it's fine.
:( Looks to me the box wasn't up to the task.

If it's like that, it means that Aurore just shoved the tail into the cardboard box without anything to protect it. :/

[Merman Arion]

If it's like that, it means that Aurore just shoved the tail into the cardboard box without anything to protect it. :/

WHAAAAAT?!
If she really did, I'm gonna be mad.

[Yulia]

WHAAAAAT?!
If she really did, I'm gonna be mad.
I haven't seen ut myself, but my mom could touch all over the tail when she put her and in the holes. She said there wasn't any bubblewrap.
If customs or whoever now messed with my package didn't take it out, there wasn't any from the beginning.
In the unboxing video from Mermaid Manuela there's bubblewrap inside, so yeah I don't know. I'm making an unboxing video as well, so you'll see how it ends up.

[New York Mermaid]

im going to have to throw this one in here,

Halloween turned out to be such a dud, I spent all night repairing my retired blue tail because the new tail's new fluke has to be remade smaller and I need a monofin replacement (im quite sure you can put 2 and 2 together). I overslept and ran to a mermaid event I was going to co host with cookie, but my husband/ assistant literally went pale on me and started having chest pain, we turned tail and went to the emergency room while I texted cookie I couldn't make it , thank goodness he is okay. Then I had to get my hair trimmed an inch or two, nope 7 inches GONE! I don't like my hair short and I could just::cry:.

my entire week hasn't been the best either, but I shall do what I must always do- look at the positive side of it all. Its a new month.

[SeaGlass Siren]

I think all the elsa's that came out for candy two nights ago "let it go" .... we suddenly have snow in toronto.

[Mermaid Lilium]

Lemon juice sounds like an idea.... or a bag of salt. Both would hurt like a bitch if thrown in the eyes lol.

NYM - I'm sorry, I'm glad he's okay <3 and bahhh I hate it when hairdressers do that, been done to me far too much in the past!

[Vrindavana Starfish]

im going to have to throw this one in here,

Halloween turned out to be such a dud, I spent all night repairing my retired blue tail because the new tail's new fluke has to be remade smaller and I need a monofin replacement (im quite sure you can put 2 and 2 together). I overslept and ran to a mermaid event I was going to co host with cookie, but my husband/ assistant literally went pale on me and started having chest pain, we turned tail and went to the emergency room while I texted cookie I couldn't make it , thank goodness he is okay. Then I had to get my hair trimmed an inch or two, nope 7 inches GONE! I don't like my hair short and I could just::cry:.

my entire week hasn't been the best either, but I shall do what I must always do- look at the positive side of it all. Its a new month.

I'm glad he's ok! I'm so sorry about your hair! I've had that happen way too many times, so I learned to trim it myself.

[PearlieMae]

Lemon juice sounds like an idea.... or a bag of salt. Both would hurt like a bitch if thrown in the eyes lol.

Hairspray and a cigarette lighter. Just sayin'.

:D

[PearlieMae]

im going to have to throw this one in here,

Halloween turned out to be such a dud, I spent all night repairing my retired blue tail because the new tail's new fluke has to be remade smaller and I need a monofin replacement (im quite sure you can put 2 and 2 together). I overslept and ran to a mermaid event I was going to co host with cookie, but my husband/ assistant literally went pale on me and started having chest pain, we turned tail and went to the emergency room while I texted cookie I couldn't make it , thank goodness he is okay. Then I had to get my hair trimmed an inch or two, nope 7 inches GONE! I don't like my hair short and I could just::cry:.

my entire week hasn't been the best either, but I shall do what I must always do- look at the positive side of it all. Its a new month.

I hope he is feeling better!
And I HATE when hairdressers get all scissor-happy :mad:

[Yulia]

WHAAAAAT?!
If she really did, I'm gonna be mad.

I just got this from Aurore:
"hello,

no there was no bubble wrap"

So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that just sucks

[Merman Arion]

I just got this from Aurore:
"hello,

no there was no bubble wrap"

So yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that just sucks

I know Aurore a little because I already exchanged with her. I am so going to tell her a piece of my mind when I will go home. This is totally unprofessional. She put bubble wrap for an Italian customer but not for you?! I can't condone that at all. Tails are fragile! She should have expected that!


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk

[Yulia]

I know Aurore a little because I already exchanged with her. I am so going to tell her a piece of my mind when I will go home. This is totally unprofessional. She put bubble wrap for an Italian customer but not for you?! I can't condone that at all. Tails are fragile! She should have expected that!


Envoyé de mon iPhone à l'aide de Tapatalk

She said that she were out of bubblewrap, and couldn't get more for 15 days and she didn't want me to wait.
We'll sure, I can understand that, but there's must have been another material to stuff it with? Toiletpaper at least, haha.

[Starfrit]

Even bunched-up old newspapers would have been better than nothing! I'm shocked that someone would ship something as delicate and expensive as a tail without any form of protection. :/

[Mermaid Kelda]

Even just an old sheet, for heavens sake!

[deepblue]

I realize everyone handles their nerves or such differently, but HEY WOMAN in this waiting room, STFU. Hang up your goddamn phone or take it outside if you're going to have conversations that seem to be hellbent on drama, eff you and eff whoever you are talking to, we are all parents or grandparents in this waiting room, this is a CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL SURGERY WING and all of us are waiting for our kids who are under the knife as we wait so OMG

STFU

Apparently, I handle my nerves like this. Trying to remain distracted and finding the too loud converstations of some random grandma discussing her family business ennervating and a little enraging at the moment. It's not a good combination.

OH GOOD, she just picked up another call.

My daughter is in surgery right now, she has at least another 30 minutes. It was extremely difficult to watch her fight going under, and to fight me and the nurse and anesthesiologist when she decided she did NOT want the mask on her face.

[SeaGlass Siren]

Blue.. :( :hug:

[Mermaid Lilium]

I realize everyone handles their nerves or such differently, but HEY WOMAN in this waiting room, STFU. Hang up your goddamn phone or take it outside if you're going to have conversations that seem to be hellbent on drama, eff you and eff whoever you are talking to, we are all parents or grandparents in this waiting room, this is a CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL SURGERY WING and all of us are waiting for our kids who are under the knife as we wait so OMG

STFU

Apparently, I handle my nerves like this. Trying to remain distracted and finding the too loud converstations of some random grandma discussing her family business ennervating and a little enraging at the moment. It's not a good combination.

OH GOOD, she just picked up another call.

My daughter is in surgery right now, she has at least another 30 minutes. It was extremely difficult to watch her fight going under, and to fight me and the nurse and anesthesiologist when she decided she did NOT want the mask on her face.

*huge mer-hugs*

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Most annoying!!

My brother saw my Merfin and asked me, "What is it for?"
I then explain its for swimming, and that its good exercise.
He then asks me, "So how many laps do you do each sessions?"
I don't reply immediately. I just say my breath holding isn't that good and I go slowly and take my time. I also say most times I'm fighting the water to swim under it, but then its ok because I just float at the surface to catch my breath.
He then says, "So you bought it to float at the surface. What a waste of money!"

GrRRRR!

[MarkF]

Superman, Batman, Spiderman, The Arrow and now Mermaid Jaffa have a secret identity.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Superman, Batman, Spiderman, The Arrow and now Mermaid Jaffa have a secret identity.

Have you been stalking my other posts??

Luckily, I have not been recognised at the shops yet!

[Merman Jamie]

Luckily, I have not been recognised at the shops yet!

Probably wont be long before you start getting recognized at the shops Jaffa

[PearlieMae]

Most annoying!!

My brother saw my Merfin and asked me, "What is it for?"
I then explain its for swimming, and that its good exercise.
He then asks me, "So how many laps do you do each sessions?"
I don't reply immediately. I just say my breath holding isn't that good and I go slowly and take my time. I also say most times I'm fighting the water to swim under it, but then its ok because I just float at the surface to catch my breath.
He then says, "So you bought it to float at the surface. What a waste of money!"

GrRRRR!

This is the part where you beat the crap out of your brother.

At least, that what I always did.

[Mermaid Jaffa]

Nah uh! Not if I keep wearing my big goggles that hide half my face!